Taemin is making this absolutely disgusting noise that’s something between a snort and a scoff, with his lips turned unattractively upwards, when Jongin realizes he’s in love with him.

And Jongin freezes because that’s not how things were supposed to go down – when did it start? Did it ever really start? Taemin is only being Taemin, the same old Taemin Jongin has lived with for only around a year, but known for much longer, and he’s absolutely gross right now. Any sane human would find zero charm in his current state after a day of them lazing around on the couch.

But then there’s Jongin, who can’t help but find it stupidly endearing.

He’s about to spiral, he can feel it in the way that his body refuses to move, hands clutching at the cheap fabric of the couch. His eyes are glued on Taemin as the latter grabs another handful of popcorn and somehow manages to shove it all in one bite –

And oh god, no, Jongin’s so in love with him, he’s so, so, very much in love with him and he doesn’t get why, even though the answer is right in front of him, glaringly obvious.

Taemin’s attention doesn’t waver from the drama they’re playing on the television, the bowl of popcorn balanced on his thighs. He feels way too far away for Jongin’s liking, even though his feet are sprawled over Jongin’s lap. His toes peak out from under the blanket and threaten to poke Jongin’s forearms.

 And Jongin hates it but they’re cute, and it’s also cute how Taemin wiggles the soles of his feet playfully when he finds something funny, face lighting up, and even though he has this horrible habit of covering his mouth with his hands when he laughs and smiles, Jongin can tell exactly how his lips look from under it.

God, Jongin can’t even seem to figure this out – it’s his best friend and he’s fallen in love with him and he can’t even tell how it started.

Was it that one time they went to Japan together? That time they went to cheap anime merch stores and bought trash merch and afterwards drank too much sake, but never ended up sleeping, anyway, because they kept talking and always had so much to say and hear?

Did it happen during the times Jongin stayed over at Taemin’s family’s house in Seoul when it was too late in the night for him to go home? The times it became multiple nights in a row?

Did it happen even earlier?

Jongin pales. What if it has always been there? Now that he considers it, there might not ever have been a time where his heart didn’t threaten to pop right out of his chest when he looks at Taemin.

Taemin finally, finally, looks back at Jongin and Jongin’s breath hitches.

His friend tilts his head curiously. His face is only luminated by the flashing of the TV, but Jongin can tell any outline of his figure from memory alone, anyway. Jongin can tell just how ruffled Taemin’s hair must be from rolling around with his head on the headrest. He can tell how Taemin’s eyes must be starting to appear weary after hours of staring at the screen in the dark.

“Jongin?” Taemin says and Jongin loves the gentle familiarity of it.

“Are you okay?” He adds after a moment and Jongin isn’t, he isn’t okay, because he’s come to an earth-shattering realization that he loves his best friend, who is looking at him with these wide, concerned eyes that Jongin swears he can see stars in.

Jongin has always thought Taemin is handsome – at least in a relatively objective manner as his best friend, but when their eyes meet like this, in the dark of their apartment, Jongin only sees the beauty of the man in front of him.

It appears in the form of his lips, thick with a unique cupid’s bow that Jongin would never be able to forget in his entire life. It appears in his eyes, how they crinkle with joy when he calls after Jongin, and in his cheeks, when they’re rosy after a long day of practice.

And it doesn’t even end there, because his beauty even manages to sneak into his personality, with how kind he is and caring, even though he loves teasing the people around him.

It’s too much. All Taemin is doing is lying still, in that same position as he usually likes to occupy on the couch during their drama nights, but within the blink of an eye, it has suddenly become so overwhelming that Jongin almost feels like he’s drowning in Taemin.

“I love you,” Jongin says abruptly.

Immediate regret hits him, hard, as soon as he says it.

He hadn’t meant to do it – all Taemin had done was look at him and it made his brain wreak havoc. This has never happened before and as much as he hates to admit it, he suspects that his newfound realization of his feelings might play a part in it. Anxiety hammers in Jongin’s nerves as he wills himself to pretend this did not just happen.

Taemin’s expression doesn’t even change, much to Jongin’s dismay, but he only continues to stare forwards curiously. Then, he breaks into a smile.

“I love you too, Jongin,” He says simply and it’s so friendly – Jongin knows he’s not talking about the same type of love as he is.

Jongin responds with a smile. He doesn’t know what else to say. He imagines it looks at least a little dejected by the way Taemin is still regarding him with concerned eyes.

Even as best friends, they usually don’t throw words like “love” around so much. Jongin probably caught him by surprise. To be fair, Jongin had caught himself by surprise, too.

He doesn’t know how to proceed from here. He does love Taemin as his best friend – but he also loves him as something more and it’s becoming strikingly clearer as the seconds tic by and he still can’t tear his eyes away from his friend.

And Jongin really isn’t going to say anything – he’s going to leave it like that, because that way, it isn’t a lie and it won’t make their friendship strain.

But Jongin also knows that it wouldn’t ruin their friendship. It would be very awkward, and especially for him, but they’ve been friends for so long that nothing would actually ruin their friendship. Taemin would never let it.

But as soon as the idea of testing the waters enters his mind, carefully, he reminds himself, his mouth speaks without waiting for his brain.

“I think my type of love is a little bigger,” a little is as much of an understatement as Jongin can offer.

Jongin wants to groan. This was not how he meant to go about this, and entirely not subtle at all.

Taemin only blinks curiously, chewing slowly on more popcorn.

“Like family?” He asks, but he’s already reaching over and feeding Jongin popcorn and Jongin has no hope of answering when Taemin has shoved the snack into his mouth.

The crunch of his own chewing, Jongin already somewhat immune to Taemin’s deadly amount of salt in their popcorn, does little to help cover up the voice in his head screaming at him to confess. But Jongin knows he’s setting himself up for disappointment like that.

Jongin is taking his sweet time answering and avoiding his doom, and judging by the look on Taemin’s face, the other is quickly growing impatient.

Jongin exhales shakily. “More than family.” He says and Taemin only hums.

Even the sound of Taemin’s hums are melodic to Jongin’s ears, as the other grabs another handful of popcorn, this time splitting it in two and giving Jongin the other half.

Jongin takes his half of a handful, the salt and oil staining his fingers. He stares at his hand and tries not to grimace.

Taemin only chews his own half wordlessly, so Jongin figures he should do the same. The salt stings against his tongue.

So that’s how it’s going to go down, Jongin realizes, a quiet rejection on a friendly note. He should have guessed as much. It isn’t really fair of him to feel disappointment prodding at his very soul, when he’d only discovered his feelings minutes ago, but nonetheless it is there and Jongin will need to process this. .

But now that it’s out, he wonders how he’s gone his whole life knowing Taemin without realizing it sooner.

“Cool,” Taemin says, heels digging softly into Jongin’s thighs as he wiggles them casually. He his lips, dragging away any left residue of salt before smacking his lips. Jongin doesn’t even attempt to look away.

And just when Jongin is about to give up and divert his attention back to the drama, he hears it;

“Me too.”

For a second, he thinks it’s the drama, and he’s about to play it off as if it wasn’t a shock to his entire system and already suffering heart, but when he turns his head back to Taemin, Taemin already has his gaze locked to Jongin.

“What?” Jongin asks weakly. Of course he heard it – but it could just be his emotions playing tricks on him after the revelation. Taemin only snickers lightly.

“Me too,” Taemin repeats, and Jongin’s thinks his heart is about to soar out from his chest.  

“You too?”

Taemin rolls his eyes playfully.

“I love you, too,” He says simply, as if he’s talking about the weather, or how Wonshik had said this one thing, the other day, and before Jongin knows it, Taemin has turned back to the TV.

Jongin only has a moment to gape before he comes back to his senses.

“Oh.” He says dumbly.

Jongin stares forward for the remaining minutes of the drama, blank and confused.

Had that really happened? Taemin might still be misunderstanding – he could be thinking that Jongin meant a friendship stronger than family – blood brothers? Some friendship oath thing?

But after a while, the credits are rolling and Taemin sighs, content, as he takes the popcorn bowl from his lap and places it on the coffee table, seemingly relaxed as Jongin’s mind returns to a frenzy.

“What now?” Jongin asks as Taemin stretches, feet still propped comfortable on Jongin’s lap. The latter shrugs slightly, before slumping back against the headrest.

“Wanna kiss?” He asks casually and Jongin’s jaw drops.

“I—sure? But—” he says, regarding Taemin slouched on the couch. “You’re so comfortable with this?”

Taemin purses his lips. “You’re not?” He asks, a sliver of concern tainting his words.

“I am, I just,” Jongin says, stumbling to find the right words. “I just realized all of this tonight,” He admits.

“Oh, okay,” Taemin says, the corner of his lips starting to curl upwards. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while, so…”

 “Oh.” Jongin utters, for lack of anything better to say. “Cool.”

“Mhm,” Taemin hums, finally gathering his limbs to sit upright. “So, about that kiss…?” he prompts, in no way looking as distressed as Jongin feels.

“Right, right…” Jongin says, hesitantly, not sure how to go forwards from there.

Taemin grins, and before Jongin knows it, Taemin has raised his back up from the cushions and then his lips are on his own. Jongin smiles against the kiss, ignoring his giddy nerves.

It feels right, with Taemin’s legs remaining thrown over Jongin’s lap as he lets his fingers rest on Jongin’s shoulder. They mold so perfectly against each other that Jongin can’t help but wonder why they had never done this before.

He’s about to ask Taemin for better access, ready to deepen what they got going, but as soon as he swipes his tongue across his lips, the taste stings.

And Jongin recoils away quickly as he coughs.

Taemin has somehow managed to climb on top of him, thighs pinning down Jongin’s own. Jongin hadn’t even noticed this in the middle of screwing his face in disgust, but what’s more, the latter is full out laughing and pointing at him as Jongin blenches.

“Why are your lips so salty?!” Jongin complains as Taemin holds his sides as his laughs finally start dying down.

Jongin glares at the lone bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. He has no doubt the culprit is the popcorn Taemin had spent a good four minutes at their kitchen table salting to an inhumane amount and then the rest of the night devouring said poison.

“I guess you’ll just have to get used to it,” Taemin says cheekily.

Jongin only scoffs, but he’s already grinning and leaning in for more before he can stop himself.

“I guess so.”