When I first met her, she was transparent. The way she tapped my shoulder. The way her eyes were begging the earth to eat her up. The way she raised a shaking hand. All of it.

"H-Hi... I'm Jisoo, Joohyun's sister. She told me to h-hand these out to you?" she said and if I wasn't close enough, I wouldn't have heard. I then gave her a smile - my gummy ones - and that seemed to do the trick as softness engulfed the succulent transparent orbs she called eyes. "My name is Jennie. Thank you, I've been waiting for these"

And I should've told her no.

I've been waiting for you.

She was transparent. I like the way her eyes would shine whenever I greeted her; The way her damn heart-shaped smile of hers would form whenever our eyes met. I thought that she would forget about me and I would forget her. But who was I kidding? How could I forget something so unreal?

Especially on prom night when she wore that sinfully sublime baby pink gown of hers that deliciously fitted all the right curves. She looked so holy and --

"Wow, Nini. You were gawking at her for ten minutes now. You're drooling girl" Rose, who was sporting an aquamarine straight gown, had told me. Her seat was just beside mine’s.

"Well, I'd rather look at beautiful shiny people than participating in this horrible excuse of a promenade. Thank you" I scoffed. I never really quite get the whole point of a prom. Sure, you get to be beautiful for a night and dance with sweaty boys with sweaty hands. But for what?

"Ohhh~ So you find her beautiful then? Nini-unnie likes Jisoo-unnie~" she singsonged.

 

“I wouldn't say that" I don't think I could carry the weight of the word 'like' just yet. I admit that Kim Jisoo was so beautiful but maybe it's as shallow and superficial as that. Maybe this was just an infatuation covered with these romanticized ideas of love and whatnot.

 

"Get up, unnie. I'm so done watching you reject people. Up, we're going to dance"

 

"I don't want to"

 

"I will scrape the life out of your Chanel foundation and eyeshadows if you don't"

 

I gasped animatedly. "You wouldn't dare!"

 

"Watch me"

 

I raised my hands in surrender. "FINE. I'm standing now. Geez"

 

And maybe I had to thank Rose's after all, because when we got to the dancefloor... When Rose ditched me and went with Lisa to crazy dance their night away... A certain someone tapped my shoulder.

 

"Would you like to dance?" she asked.

 

Maybe prom wasn't that bad after all.

 

At that night, she was also transparent. A subtle smile was evident on her lips even though she had tried so hard not let it show. My hands were at the mercy of her waist, music be damned, they could play some rock music for as long as they can but they'll never get my eyes off Kim Jisoo.

 

"So, prom, huh?" she asked, breaking the comfortable silence we shared earlier.

 

"Yeah, prom. I literally saw Nayeon heart eye-ing Yugyeom just a while ago"

 

She let out a soft giggle and I didn’t know what to make out of it so I said, "I'm sorry. Right, Nayeon's your friend. Kinda weird I talked about her lov--"

 

"No, no! It's okay! It's prom! Cliche stuff ensues" she said and I laughed. Well, she's not wrong. Just look at us.

 

"If it does, why are you here with me when you could have... I don't know... chase the love of your life and be stupidly cliche with them?"

 

"Well, if I did, I suppose you would have stayed on that table and continue being that grumpy little bean, hmm?"

 

"Oh, so you were watching me?"

 

"It's a painful sight to see on this joyous occasion, so maybe, yeah... You can put it that way"

 

"Wow. Miss Kim Jisoo. You have officially wounded me" I pretended to be mad only because my stupid heart won't stop its incessant beating. My lips betrayed me though as it let out a laugh and soon, she followed.

 

And here I thought Miss Kim Jisoo couldn’t get any prettier.

 

When our laughter had died down, she had gently laid down her head on my shoulder. Careful Jisoo, you might hear my heart.

 

"Jennie-ah"

 

"Yes?"

 

"I've been meaning to ask you something"

 

"Shoot"

 

"If you were a boy, would you date me?"

 

If she were to like me, if I'm lucky enough -- deemed worthy enough -- to be liked by her, I will date her every day even if it's the last thing I do. Just let me keep her.

 

"Even if I'm not, I would've"

 

Kim Jisoo. What is this? Just what do you think you're doing to me?

 

 

 

 

And even after that, she remained transparent. Void of any signs of enigma. The usual greetings on the hallways became milkshakes after classes and movies at her house on some days that I'm not working as a part-time barista.

 

One rainy day after class, she invited me for some Harry Potter marathon ("It's appropriate for this weather" - she said) and I was more than willing to comply. The excitement in her eyes was visible, even throwing a soft smile just before she opened the door to their oh so prosperous house. But the moment she entered, the said excitement turned into confusion at the sight of her sister, Joohyun, kissing yet another girl...on the couch... alone... in a dark living room.

 

Even I was surprised. For the past three years that I've been working at Irene's cafe as a part-timer, I never really took her as... well... not straight. Seeing Jisoo's helpless state of shock, I gathered the courage to break the intimate moment as I faked a cough. The next thing I knew was Joohyun quickly standing up as though a surge of electricity had woken up her entire being while the other girl completely froze on the sofa.

 

"Ohh.. uhmmm.. Hi, Jisoo! You're early today" the way panic engulfed the usually collected Joohyun would have been funny if it were in a different scenario; And I would have wheezed with the way she slapped her partner's shoulder and whispered, "Yah! Kang Seulgi! Stand up and greet my baby sister"; Which the latter complied and even gave a ninety-degree bow. "H-Hello, Jisoo. I'm Seulgi, Irene's… girlfriend" she trailed off.

 

Jisoo narrowed her eyes that were looking at Seulgi's, seemingly failing to believe what she just saw.

 

Jisoo fell into silence. I saw her forming a fist in her hand, her eyes mirroring a crestfallen glimmer. After what seemed like a minute or two, she whispered, "B-but I thought you're straight, unnie"

 

"Chu, I was! I swear! It's just that..." Joohyun said, eyes mirroring the worry she felt for her baby sister, and soon she looked at Seulgi, who was lovingly smiling at her despite the obvious shaking of her hands. "I... I fell in love hard... I guess"

 

"Fell in love?" The younger one furrowed her eyebrows. "What are you saying, unnie!? Perhaps, have you forgotten where we live!?" Jisoo's voice cracked up. "If mom and dad ever heard of this… If anyone heard of this… What do you think they're going to say to you? Unnie! How can you do this!? They're going to hurt you. They'll never treat you the same anymore!" she opened to say more but she stopped herself. Instead, she closed her eyes, hands still forming a fist. "Do you even know what you're doing? And what about Bogum? He's nice, mom and dad like him and..."

 

Her tears were threatening to fall and Joohyun couldn't stop herself from hugging the girl. Jisoo softly punched her older sister's shoulder as resistance but it was no use since she felt so weak. She melted in her sister's embrace while Joohyun was caressing her head. "He has everything you could have wished for, unnie" she whispered.

 

"I know, sweetie" Joohyun cooed. "But she makes me so damn happy"

 

"Just… I need some time" she murmured. She pushed Joohyun away from her personal space and looked at me. "Jennie-ah, maybe Harry should wait for next time"

 

And how could I have the heart to say no? I gave her a gummy smile and said, "Sure, no problem. Just call me, okay?"

 

She let out a smile, one that didn't fully reach her eyes. "Bye", she said and quickly turned around to walk away but I saw it. The tears in her eyes. I felt a pang in my chest. And even before I could understand the nagging feeling, I felt a hand reached out on mines.

 

"Jennie, I'm sorry you had to witness all of that. Do you have a ride home? Want me to get you the driver to send you home?"

 

"N-no! It's okay, Miss Joohyun. I happen to live nearby so that won't be necessary"

 

"Well if you say so. I guess I'll see you at the cafe tomorrow and you!" She abruptly turned to Seulgi, eyes burning with flames and if eyes could kill, the other would have been undone. Seulgi gulped heavily, frozen at her position and eyes closed as though she already accepted her impending doom. The enraged woman grabbed the latter by the ear and said, "What did I tell you about locking the door, huh?"

 

"I didn't expect--"

 

"Yah! Kang Seulgi! Are you answering now? Do you want to die!?"

 

Joohyun turned to me, her enraged expression suddenly turned into a sweet one and I would have bought it if she wasn't literally twisting Seulgi's ear hard. Wow. Joohyun was one scary woman. "Be careful on your way home, Jennie sweetie"

 

I gave her an equally sweet smile and said, "Thank you"

 

"Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!" she twisted Seulgi's ear more. Yikes. That sounded painful.

 

And as soon as I went home, I plopped to my bed and grasped for my heart. What was that feeling? Pity? Sympathy? ... Empathy? Why was everything so damn confusing?

 

 

 

 

Career Orientation. Any of those words sounded painfully boring enough and what more when they put the two together? So when Rose, who by the way was the student council president, had told me about it, the first thing that came to my mind was to ditch it. "It would be fun" she said but that's what exactly she said when she tricked me into joining the prom.

 

"Wow, Rosie. Kinda expected you'll come up with a better way to make me go. I gotta say, I'm a winy bit disappointe--"

 

I was interrupted when she put a finger in front of lips. "Uh, uh, uh! Don't get so smug on me now, Kim Jennie. I wasn't finished yet"

 

"Okay, by all means, please do"

 

"You're going to have fun because honey" she bopped my nose. "Heart lips is gonna be there"

 

Well... goddamn... that changed things.

 

"So, I suppose you're going now, huh?"

 

I nodded shyly.

 

I have to see her.

 

I have to see her.

 

I have to see her.

 

"Whipped", she said.

 

 

 

 

So here I was in my full glory, Kim Jennie on an excruciatingly boring orientation. Beside me was the girl with the heart lips, eyes deep in her own train of thoughts. She didn't even notice my arrival.

 

She was beside me but she wasn't fully there.

 

"Jichu, what's up?" I asked, intentionally raising my voice just a little and that seemed enough to snap her out of her reverie. Her eyes widened in surprise but when she quickly composed herself, she gave me a full smile with eyes saying just the opposite.

 

"Hi, Jendeuk. It's been a while" she said, a tone deeper than usual but I knew she's been crying all this time.

 

“Everyone, please settle down”

 

The seminar started before I had the chance to say more and silence soon engulfed us. The only thing I could hear were my own thoughts.

 

Are you okay? Why are you crying?

 

I wanted to tell her that but I knew that would be pointless.

 

So I did what I thought was best, "Hey, wanna ditch this?"

 

And for the first time that day, her eyes smiled. "I thought you'll never ask"

 

 

 

 

"Kim Jisoo, the epitome of a goody two shoe stereotype, a diligent student council secretary, off ditching with the infamous troublemaker, Kim Jennie. Tell me, how does your first taste of trouble taste like?" I said the moment I finished half of my ice cream popsicle. I brought her to my favorite place, inside the abandoned van near the school fields that no one ever dared to go into. Lucky that the other students were dumb enough to believe this place was haunted.

 

"Weirdly sweet. Well, I wasn't expecting an ice cream getaway inside a creepy truck"

 

I chuckled. "Why? You think all the 'troublemakers' are into drugs, excessive partying, cigarettes and the like?"

 

She shrugged. "Hey, I'm not complaining. This is much better... I suppose"

 

I waited for her to finish her popsicle and when she did, I said “Hey”

 

"Hmmm?"

 

"I know it's quite greasy to ask this but, what do you want to be?" I looked at her with questioning eyes. "Y'know, ‘cause of this orientation, I got curious"

 

“Wow, now I realize I haven’t really thought about it just yet”. She halted all of her actions at once and her eyes rolled up cutely like she was thinking. “I think...”

 

After what seemed like a minute of her internally battling with her thoughts, she finally looked at me. “I think I want to be a novelist someday. I do love to write a lot”

 

Now, that surprised me. With her perfect smile, her perfect eyes, her perfect lips, her perfect everything, she could have easily climb her spot to the modelling industry and people would even thank her for it. But having such thoughts didn’t stop me from my teasing, “I bet you write tons of confession letters to your crushes, huh?”

 

That caught her by surprise. “W-what!? No!” she said like a child caught stealing from the cookie jar.

 

“I’m sure you’ve written at least one”

 

“N-no! Not even one!”

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

“I- I never really l-liked someone”

 

“Ridiculous!” I slightly laughed at her confession. Her cheeks were covered with a faint hint of red.

 

“You can laugh all you want but it’s true” she huffed.

 

I sighed. “Well, Chichu, lucky for you I never liked someone too”

 

“Guess that makes the two of us”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“How about you, little miss troublemaker? What do you want to be?”

 

I smiled. I would have answered jokingly like I usually would have but this time, I made an exception. "Seriously? I want to be a fashion designer"

 

Her eyes had sparked with surprise and her lips formed a smile. "Really? That's great! I think you'll rule the world with your designs!"

 

"You haven't seen any of them yet, dummy"

 

"Doesn't matter. I still know it rocks"

 

"Why?"

 

"Cause you're... " she trailed on. I looked at her eyes and she looked at mine’s. Somehow, something clicked.

 

She gulped and said, “Nevermind”

 

And I wasn’t the one to pry so I didn’t push on further. Instead, I said, “It’s quite peaceful today, huh?”

 

A comfortable silence took over. The clouds were beautiful that day and the trees were swaying along with the wind. The opened old van made a creaking sound but it was peaceful. I realized that I was staring at the skies long enough when I heard a whisper so soft, “Jennie?”

 

I turned around to face her, only to see her brown beautiful orbs staring straight through mine as though she was seeking for my soul and I felt that to the bone. Finding my voice, I let out a weak “Yeah?”

 

“Thank you...” she smiled, it wasn’t just a simple smile. She was smiling. Her eyes were smiling with an indescribable light. The corner of her heart-shaped lips reached up to her eyes, the one I haven’t seen on the previous days. “... for this”

 

And I couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t about the ice cream.

 

 

 

 

After our ice cream escapade, the following days with Kim Jisoo had become much brighter, it's transparent. No traces of cracked voice, no marks of swollen eyes, all that was left was the old Jisoo, the bubbly, cheerful, and dutiful student council secretary. And no matter how voluminous the work Rose gives her, she would always find time to drop by Irene's cafe and as usual, I would brew her her favorite tea and in turn, she would give me this heart shaped smile that seems to make my heart do a backflip and a plentiful of circus acts inside me. And per usual, her ever beautiful sister, Joohyun, would watch her behind the cashier, eyes looking a bit proud of how responsible and proper her baby sister had become, and sometimes if Seulgi was there, she would lean to the girl’s shoulder and say “Seulgi, hold me”, which the latter would comply and would also look at Jisoo with the same set of proud eyes. Dummies.

 

And sometimes, if Joohyun insists for me to rest on a Saturday, I would go to their residence. We did watch the promised Harry Potter marathon but it wasn’t raining that day so it felt kind of incomplete, but it’s okay because I got drenched with Jisoo’s smiles and giggles when we were watching and honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Yet, it was another Saturday when Joohyun had told me to take the day off, saying that she and Seulgi could man the shop but I knew better that ‘manning the shop’ wasn’t the only thing they’re going to do there. But still, how could I say no to a paid day off? So when Jisoo found out about it, she called me and had invited me to the recently opened roller skating rink downtown. And how could I have the heart to say no when she sounded a little too excited more than she would want to admit?

 

So I said yes…

 

Even if I didn’t know how to skate for .

 

 

 

 

“Wow, Kim Jennie. You’re an actual idiot” she deadpanned. We entered the rink a few minutes earlier and here I was, clinging on her for my dear life.

 

I tried to ignore her rude remark but her face was too annoying that I just couldn't. “Ugh! Maybe if you just asked if I skate then you could have spared yourself some trouble”

 

“Well genius, you could have told me you don't know how. Why did you even agree anyway?”

 

And even if my bestfriend wasn't here, I could hear her singsong voice teasing‘Cause you're so whipped’, and of course I wouldn't say that out loud. “Let's just drop it. Come on, just teach me how to skate. I'm sure it's not that hard”

 

And oh boy, I have never been so wrong.

 

“AHHHH!” I screamed as my hands held Jisoo's hips, allowing her to lead us where we're going. Earlier, she had ultimately given up teaching me so she decided to 'let her lead the way’ and maybe I'd learn from it and I'll say hell no. I don't even want to skate again in my life. No thanks to the trauma Kim Jisoo was giving me.

 

When I was sure that we were about to hit the wall, I closed my eyes. “Sense of direction! Sense of direction!” I found myself screaming, hoping the Jisoo would turn. I was waiting for a huge pain in my face but it didn't come. I hesitantly opened my eyes and I was welcomed with a sight of her, playfully staring at me with that annoying grin on her face. Okay, Jennie, we turned around and you're safe and she's just playing with you.

 

“You know, you're cute when you're scared”

 

The retro music blaring from the speakers had clouded my hearing. “What did you say?”

 

“Nothing!”

 

“No, you said something just a while ago”

 

“W-what?”

 

I narrowed my eyes at her, looking at her with much suspicion but she just smiled at me. Soon, my eyes widened with fear at yet another sight of a huge wall that we were going to hit. “YAH! JISOO! WALL!!! WALL!! WALL!!”

 

And before she could even turn her head forward, she lost her balance, hitting my nose with her head and dragging me to the ground with her.

 

I felt an excruciatingly painful sting on my nose. Oh God, did my nose just broke?

 

“Oh no! Jennie, a-are you okay? I'm sorry! I'm really really sorry! I should have paid more atten-- Oh no! You're bleeding!” panic quickly took over her. She looked around, probably to look for a staff but to no avail, there wasn't any as we were in the secluded part of the rink.

 

“What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?” she scratched her head repeatedly and with much force. I covered my nose with my sleeves to wipe off the blood.

 

“I’m okay, Jis--”

 

“I’m so sorry, Jennie! I’m so sorry!” she looked like she was about to cry and that sight… that sight, I didn’t want to see that.

 

I held her tiny hand within mine’s. Goodness, her hands were so cold that I could only hope my warmth could reach her. “Jisoo, I’m alright”

 

But my words seemed unabsorbed as she remained in her own world of panic, mumbling the words, “This is all my fault. This is all my fault” over and over again.

 

Seeing her in that state had brought a familiar pang in my chest. Throwing all reasons away from my system, I pushed my face to her cheeks ever so softly and gave it a gentle kiss.

 

And suddenly, she became silent, eyes looking straight to my soul, the same look she gave me at the van.

 

Oh .

 

Wow.

 

Jennie, now you’ve done it.

 

Now, it’s over.

 

. . . .

 

I ignored the unremitting beats of my relentless heart as I gathered all of myself to let out a smile. Maybe I could still salvage our friendship. “Uh-- Sorry, I just did that out of nowhere---” and I mentally cursed my brain… like really? That’s the best thing I could think of?

 

“Do it again”

 

“W-What?”

 

Before I could process what she had said…

 

Before I could even breathe for a second…

 

Before my mind could catch on…

 

She lifted up my chin and--

 

-- she struck.

 

And even if I had the choice to rewind, I would have broken my nose again and again.

 

 

 

 

I threw myself on the bed the moment I got home and it wasn’t because of tiredness. Goodness, I could run a mile and not let out a single breath. It was because of my legs, who had stopped working due to earlier events.

 

Kim Jisoo.

 

I could become undone at the mere mention of her name.

 

How could she have this power over me?

 

How could she make my heart go in disarray whenever she gives me that damn heart shaped smile of hers?

 

Kim Jisoo..

 

What are you doing to me?

 

And are you going to be responsible for this?

 

 

 

 

“I spy with my little eye… a lovestruck teenager!” Rose animatedly pointed at me. She was sitting by the counter, at the comfort of the stool, and in her hand was the Thai Milk Tea I prepared for her.

 

And… she caught me daydreaming.

 

“W-What!?”

 

“Don’t you dare deny it, Kim Jennie. You smell different!”

 

“What the-- Rosie! What the ? Stop being a weirdo”

 

“Well, stop being a big fat chicken and spill everything”

 

“Ugh! I’m working, Rosie! And I don’t know what you’re talking about”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Sure, Jan. Act like you’re busy, as if I’m not the only customer here in this sad cafe”

 

The bells attached to the cafe’s entrance rang, a cue for me to say “Hello. Welcome to Irene’s Cafe”

 

But the person who emerged from the door was not a customer but it was the owner itself, with eyebrows furrowed, teary eyes and a tint of red coating her usually pale face. Soon, another person came inside and it was the girl with the monolid eyes, Kang Seulgi, who was doing her best to catch up to Irene. Wow. This is not good.

 

“Hyun-ah! Let’s talk please!”

 

“There is nothing to talk about, Seulgi!”

 

Rose leaned closer to me and whispered, “Hey, I think we shouldn’t be here. Let’s go to the back”

 

I agreed and we silently scooted to the area, where we could still see everything but was far enough not to interrupt.

 

Irene tried to fasten her pace but the younger girl was taller, thus, catching up to her in no time to slide her arms at the older girl’s waist, clasping her into a tight backhug.

 

“P-please don’t do this to me, Hyun” a teardrop escaped from the dejected eyes of Seulgi and my heart had broken at the sight.

 

Joohyun raised her hand towards to Seulgi’s arms, not to hold it, but to free herself from the hold, which was not enough since Seulgi was much stronger. “Stop. You’re hurting me”

 

The bear abruptly removed herself from the girl as though the latter was fire. The previous dejected look was replaced with worry, cupping the pale girl’s cheek as if it was her prized possession.

 

“Joohyun-ah. Let’s treat you, okay? No-- we should go to the hospital. I will take you there right now. Let’s get this healed up. Let’s get you some clean clothes, okay?” Seulgi gently removed Joohyun’s coat. I almost gasped in surprise because as Seulgi removed the coat, it revealed a plethora of bruises that were etched on Joohyun’s once flawless skin. My mind was in shambles. How could this possibly happen to Joohyun? No-- How could someone even fathom doing this much harm on someone? I stood frozen on my place, legs a bit weak from the painful sight. Joohyun was like a sister to me, too.

 

“No-- Seulgi, we can’t. I can take care of this alone. Just… leave. I don’t want to see you”

 

The said girl hanged Joohyun’s coat over her shoulder and crouched a little bit only to carry Joohyun in her strong arms. Her eyes were now covered with determination and what seemed to be… guilt? She looked at Joohyun with such fierceness and that was my first time seeing the usually cheerful girl in this kind of seriousness. “If I were to leave when you’re hurting… If I were to leave after everything we’ve been through… then I don’t deserve to say I love you”

 

Joohyun had tried to hit Seulgi in hopes of getting her down but she was too weak -- too drained -- to even hurt the girl and Seulgi was far too adamant to put Joohyun back together. She led them to the office just at the back side of the cafe. I quickly swung the signboard to CLOSED and went to find the first aid kit that Joohyun always kept in the bathroom.

 

Rose was hyperventilating from the sight, her hands slightly shaking from time to time. I cupped her cheeks and looked at her straight in the eyes. I needed her to think straight. “Rosie, your brother is a doctor, right?”

 

“Y-yeah”

 

“Tell him to come here. Joohyun needs all the help she could get right now”

 

She nodded her head, mind seemed to put herself together as she lifted her phone to her ear to call her brother. With the kit in my hand, I ran to the office. Seulgi had laid Irene’s weak body to the couch, pushing away all of the hair that was covering the pale face.

 

“I don’t deserve you, Hyun” she said, clutching her hand tightly to Joohyun’s.

 

Joohyun couldn’t seem to hold any longer as she let out a warm tear.

 

“I'm sorry, Seul. Please take me back” she whispered.

 

 

 

 

After all of the disarray that had transpired, I found myself on the booth sitting across Seulgi, with hot beverages on our table. Rose had went home with her brother after willingly helping Joohyun, though the damage was so great that it wasn’t enough to ease her from the pain. She took a heavy dose of painkiller and was resting peacefully on the ragged sofa in her office but we all knew that all hell would break lose the moment its effect wears off. The calm before the storm, so they said and that brought us here, on the comfort of the booth, taking a breather from the chaos.

 

“You must be taken aback with what just happened, am I right?” she asked me, pure exhaustion was evident on her visage.

 

I took a sip from my tea. “I’ll be lying if I say no”

 

She smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes and she wasn’t in any way happy. A second later, she looked at the windows, the streets were busy per usual even though it was already dark and chilly. “You know, I met her in a storm”

 

I didn’t know what to make of it. She could be talking literally but it was also hard not to ween it as metaphorical. Whatever it could be, I didn’t pry further as offering my silence and my ears were the things I deemed was necessary.

 

“It was a rough time for me, everything was so unforgiving. Goodness, I was about to kill myself back then, like for real” A bitter smile left Seulgi.

 

“But you know it’s funny… fate really is. ‘Cause as luck would have it, there was another girl on the rooftop. She was already there when I came and it seemed like we had the same goal in mind, to end all the suffering away”

 

“I walked right next to her and goodness, she was too beautiful, all of the words escaped me. And when she noticed me, I-I don’t know Jennie, she looked a little too broken, more broken than me, more broken than everyone else and even though I didn’t know her back then, I wanted to… make everything okay for her”

 

“We sat next to each other and talked about our fair share of torment”

 

“And it turns out, she was struggling a lot with her business, her sorority sisters had betrayed her, her grades were failing and her parents were about to marry her off to someone she doesn't even know. It was all downhill from there and she was basically.... crushed”

 

“And I don’t know. The circumstances were cruel but I found myself some company. One second, I was alone and one second, I’m not and when you realize that you're not alone anymore, things become more tolerable”

 

“The world hated us but we decided to give a huge middle finger back to it so we dated instead of dying. I swear the idea was so crazy I don’t even know what made Hyun think of that. She was straight when I met her for goodness sake”

 

“I really don’t understand why Hyun wanted to date me but whatever it is, I’m beyond grateful. Joohyun is so… amazing”

 

I sighed. “Seulgi… unnie… you do know you’re hot, right?”

 

Seulgi’s eyes had widened and I was amused at the sight. “W-what?”, she gasped.

 

“Ugh. Nevermind” I shrugged and remained silent as a way of telling her to continue with her storytelling.

 

“S-so yeah, we dated and after some time, things started to go our way. Joohyun got it together. Funny thing is that a little push was all that Joohyun needed, just a little ‘Baby, you can do it’, homecooked dinners that tastes like but she’ll act as if it’s the best food in the earth, flowers every now and then, a massage when she’s tired, a pint of ice cream when she felt like crying and ‘The Notebook’ during the day offs. Going back and forth to her college to send her off or wait for her, even if it rains, especially when it rains because just then, she’ll give you that breathtaking smile, hands around the neck and a kiss on the lips”

 

“Everything was going well, Jennie, very well. But then, her parents found all of the letters I’ve sent her and…” she eyed the door to the office. “They did that to her”

 

A tear had escaped her eyes. “How could they do this to her? To their own daughter?” I quickly stood up in my seat and went beside her. I engulfed her in a huge hug, the only thing I could do since I didn’t know what to say.

 

 

 

 

In my almost 16 years of existence, I never fell in love. The majority of my hormone driven batchmates were off looking for ‘the one’, even at the cost of neglecting their studies. Some made a lot of stupid gestures just to express how drawn they are to the other, take for example, how one of my classmate almost attempted su