Kibum hated Jinki right from the first day he saw him.

He hated him for not getting that he hated him and being so oblivious to everything, always smiling like the world is full of flowers and rainbows. He hated everything about him.

When they were chosen for the group SHINee, Jinki was picked and the leader. Kibum honestly didn’t know why. He always got pushed around and was too soft and too kind , if anything, he thought that he or Jonghyun would have been a better fit. Tsk.

KIBUM’S POV

When we started to live in the dorm, the chaos began. Everyone was so annoying and we fought almost every other day. Over literally nothing. Even Choi Minho’s existence alone made me angry. Whenever we fought, Jinki would intervene or at least try to. But always, no one really paid much attention to him. He just got pushed away easily. Way to go leader-nim.

Things got out of hand and our parents were asked to sit in for weekly meetings with each other and the management. My parents lived in Daegu and were too busy to attend so I always sat alone. These meetings were awkward for me, because everyone had their parents to back them up when I had no one and some of them were claims against me that I had to quietly accept because the management was watching. Two weeks passed and suddenly Jinki’s parents stopped attending meetings too. I always wondered why. I already had an excuse but his parents were from Seoul and his mum was a house wife. Well, I got to know why because I eaves dropped his conversation with our manager one day.

“ Jinki why did you tell your parents that they don’t need to attend the meetings anymore?, If they didn’t call me I wouldn’t have even known” The manager asked him. I can see that Jinki was fidgeting a bit before he answered “ I.. I thought that it wasn’t fair that only Kibum had to sit alone for the meetings “

THAT IDIOT. I was fuming. How dare he pity me and act like some saint, I stormed off angrily that day but vowed to myself that I am going to hate him for life.

END OF POV

From that day onwards, Kibum was always so blatantly rude to Jinki and tried his very best to hurt his feelings. But Jinki being the positive person he is, never really get the memo that Kibum hated him. Jinki would always adjust to whatever demands Kibum made and always treated him like a princess. The boys often wondered how Jinki could put up with Kibum’s antics for so many years and still not break.

Once Jinki was happily munching his chicken and got told off by Kibum for making disgusting sounds while eating. Jinki then quietly made a habit to always chew and melt his food in his mouth before he swallowed. It was hard but he could do it for Kibum !  When Jinki would watch his fave TV show, Kibum would always come out of nowhere and purposely change the channel to something else. Although initially a bit disappointed, Jinki would then warm up to the show Kibum was watching and enjoyed it instead, much to Kibum’s dismay. Sometimes Kibum would feel extra evil and burn his pancakes and Jinki would not even notice to complain!! Sometimes, Taemin would notice and would switch them with his and Kibum would glare with fire bolts shooting out of his eyes.  The members obviously knew that he hated Jinki with his entire existence but Jinki had no clue. Kibum was getting frustrated by the day.

Time passed and they were already in their 7^th year of debut.  Jinki never changed despite all of Kibum’s attempts to break him.  Jinki was always smiling and always made sure that Kibum is being taken care of in small ways that even the boy did not know about. Although there were things that Kibum knew that Jinki did for him but for the sake of his resolve to destroy him, he just acted oblivious to everything.

Kibum knew.

Kibum knew that every time at night when he was afraid of thunder and was shaking, the figure that slipped in to his sheets and held him close was Jinki. Kibum knew that every time he was frustrated after tons of schedule and sobbed silently in to the night, the person who quietly held him in the darkness was Jinki. Kibum knew but he always acted like it didn’t happen, because Jinki always left by the time they woke up and they never ever discussed anything. 

He was getting frustrated with Jinki, because no matter how much he tried to break him, Jinki never crumbled and just continued to care for him. What the hell was his problem? Kibum was honestly confused because he knew that if he tried this game with any of the other members or anyone else, they wouldn’t have tolerated him even for an hour. Kibum knew but he just didn’t really do anything about it and continued on with his little game.

Kibum always prided himself for not getting sick. He almost never got sick apart from a slight cold once a while. But somehow, his body decides to betray him. It was a heavy promotional period when they just released their album and Kibum was running a high fever. The manager immediately instructed Jinki to join Minho and Jonghyun in their shared room and no one was allowed to visit Kibum because they just couldn’t afford to lose another member for the promotions. So basically Kibum was isolated from everyone and the maknae manager was in charge of taking care of him.

KIBUM’S POV

So the worst happens to me, the most awaited comeback happens and I had to ruin everything with a fever.  I was being isolated from the rest of the members.  Jinki hyung was forced to leave our room today and although I didn’t want to admit,  I somehow wish he didn’t leave. I hated being alone more than anything and since the manager is taking care of me now, I know that I will have to stay alone at night.  When the manager left, everything was quiet.  The boys were probably out practicing. I wanted to be there with them so badly and the fever was making me so frustrated. I didn’t even know when I started crying but everything that I was bottling up just exploded and I was also missing my mum so much. I heard my own loud sobs but I didn’t try to lower them because no one was at home anyways.

I was being so loud that I didn’t hear the room door opening until I felt the dip in my mattress. A familiar warmth engulfed me and I knew immediately that it was him. I never turn to face him when he does this ever, but today I needed him so much that I turned to face him and clung on to him crying my eyes out.  He hugged my closer and keep whispering “it’s okay , it’s okay ..I’m here “and I cried even harder because he was an idiot. An idiot for still taking care of me, someone who’s life motive was to hurt him. That night, I fell asleep in his arms, feeling safe.

When I woke up, the other side of my bed was cold again. He had left. I am used to this but my heart felt a little too heavy today.

END OF POV

Kibum’s fever dropped on the following day and he was recovering fast. Jinki was no longer banned from using his room and Kibum was back to his usual cold self towards Jinki. Honestly, Kibum was warming up to him but he literally had no clue about showing emotions and his pride came in the way. Instead of showing that he cared, he just built up a cold façade and acting like Jinki didn’t even exist. Jinki was still not getting anything though, giving him that stupid sunshine smile whenever their eyes meet.

On the second day after Kibum recovered, Jinki was acting a bit strange. He would usually wake up early but Kibum noticed that he was still in bed and whimpering slightly. Curious, Kibum scooted closer and saw his flushed face and immediately knew that his fever has been gifted to Jinki. Internally cursing Jinki for finding him that day, he immediately called the manager hyung for help and later he dragged a half groggy Jinki to the doctor.

Everyone was so worried about Jinki and they were hovering over him he just couldn’t help but feel bitter about how he was treated when he was sick. So he just avoided being in the room the entire day and when it’s time for bed, he was contemplating if he should go to his own bed or just opt for the couch because there was no way he was going to share a room with Minho. Kibum decided that he would just settle for his bed instead. He quietly sneaked in the room so that he would not wake Jinki up but a soft “ Kibummie?” from Jinki made him realise that his attempt was futile.

“yeah” Kibum replied softly. “ I’ve missed you” Jinki replied and Kibum knew that he was blushing furiously. He was thankful that the lights were not on. Kibum didn’t say anything but just continued to make himself comfortable on his bed feeling like his heart was stuck in his throat.

“ Bummie, can you sleep with me tonight? It’s okay if you don’t want to- I…I just wanted to ask”

Stupid Jinki. He thought. But honestly Kibum wanted to, he wanted to hold him but his pride didn’t allow him. So he did what he did a coward would do best, to pretend not to hear what Jinki said and go to sleep.

Jinki was back to his normal cheerful self again after his fever subsided. Kibum continued to be his cold ice princess self although he didn’t necessarily bully Jinki anymore. Something in him just didn’t want to do that to Jinki anymore. But he just ignored him and threw him all the dirty disgusted looks whenever possible to which, Jinki always responded with the brightest smile.

Time passed and since SHINee’s promotions were over, the boys were focused on their solo activities.  One Saturday, Jinki left early morning for his musical schedule and the rest of the boys were home. Kibum had the luxury to sleep in because he had no schedules that day and had just wrapped up his musical.  Kibum was suddenly woken up by a hysterical Jonghyun and some noise altogether. He was annoyed and covered his ears with his pillow. “ KIBUM WAKE UP SOMETHING BAD HAS HAPPENED AND JINKI , WE DUNNO IF HE’S OKAY WAKE UP” Kibum bolted  up when he heard this and his heart was pounding so hard in his chest in fear but he mustered all the calmness he had in to talk to Jonghyun . “what??? What happened?”

KIBUM POV

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach when I heard what happened. There was a shooting right next door to the hall that Jinki hyung was having his musical at. The death toll was rising with time and none of us were able to contact him. Everyone was worried because he wasn’t contactable. My heart was pounding in fear and more than anything I was trying my best to keep up a brave façade in front of everyone else acting like I’m not worried. And honestly, I was about to crumble any moment. Taemin and Jjong were crying and Minho was trying to console them and of course I stood there like the bravest of all when I was dying a little inside when each minute passed. All I could think was about all the times he held me close when I needed someone the most, and all the times that I had hurt him in return for all that love I received from him. I was about to let my tears fall when someone opened the door and walked in. It was Jinki hyung. We were all just too stunned to see him and all he said was “ Taemin ah, can you hand me my phone?? I left in in the toilet”

THIS FREAKING IDIOT. HE PROBABLY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON.

Taemin and Jonghyun rushed to hug him while they were crying. Minho joined him.  Jinki looked clueless.

“ Hyung do you know that there was a shooting going on ? and..and  there were many people dead outside the musical hall?”

..” we were so worried about you cz you were not answering” Taemin managed to talk between his sobs.

END OF POV

Jinki explained that he almost drove halfway to the venue but came back home because he had forgotten his phone.

After the explanation, Kibum was visibly very angry and upset and Jinki didn’t like the looks that he was getting from him. Everyone else was concerned and glad that he was okay but Kibum, he looked like he was angry to see him. Jinki was always trying to be positive about everything but seeing that look from Kibum hurt him. After like an eternity of glaring at him, Kibum angrily walked in to his room and slammed the door shut.

“ seems like someone’s not happy to see you ha” Jonghyun was laughing but Jinki was feeling like someone punched him in the gut.  He mustered up his courage to follow Kibum to their room.

“ Kibummie” Jinki said as he closed the door.  Kibum was facing his back to him, staring out of the window.

“I’m sorry for making you upset”

Kibum turned around, and Jinki saw that he was crying. “Do you even know what you are apologizing for you stupid old man?”

Kibum said as he approached him and starting banging his fists on Jinki’s chest. His eyes were red and swollen from crying.

“ Do you know how hard it was to pretend that everything was okay when I was dying inside thinking that something happened to you?” Kibum was bawling his eyes now. Jinki was too shocked to react but he instinctively pulled him closer and hugged him. Because he hated to see Kibum’s tears more than anything.

“ I was so scared Jinki, I was so scared that you will leave me” Kibum was talking in between loud sobs.  Jinki’s heart broke in to a million pieces knowing that Kibum was finally opening up to him. “ shh baby, I’m here nothing’s  going to happen to me, I’m not going anywhere” Jinki soothed Kibum rubbing circles on his back soothingly as he was shaking in his arms.

Jinki then led Kibum to sit  on his bed next to him and held him close until his sobbing was softer and his breathing was more even. Jinki then lifted  Kibum’s face and looked in to his glassy eyes, wiped his tears softly  and then leaned in to capture his lips with his own.  He witnessed Kibum turn beet red and then hid himself in Jinki’s shirt. He could only smile in contentment as he held the one person he loved since the very first time he set his eyes on him cradled in his arms. Jinki was happy and hoping that this wasn’t some kind of dream.

The next day when Kibum woke up, Jinki was right next to him holding him close. Kibum’s lips curled up in to a smile as he watched Jinki sleep peacefully. He was beautiful. Kibum gave in to temptation and peppered his face with Kisses until Jinki finally cracked his eyes open “ wake up silly old man” . Jinki smiled, it wasn’t a dream after all. Jinki rolled over and held Kibum close leaning over for a kiss. It was a slow , sweet kiss and everything Jinki ever wanted. “ I love you” Jinki said as they parted their lips. He watched Kibum’s eyes turning glassy as he reached out to  touch Jinki’s cheek softly. “ I love you too, stupid”.