Sehun was just existing.
 
Maybe it was his view of life. Maybe it was the way he felt.
 
But the moment he opened his eyes once again, he thought he was already dead. The first thing that hit his sight was the bright light. Maybe he was really dead. Maybe this was the afterlife after all.
 
Then an unknown figure suddenly looked down at him. It was blurry at first, but he was certain that it was figure of a man. A man with a black hair wearing something white. He was unsure. Then a voice came. A voice that he couldn’t fathom what it was interpreting.
 
Sehun closed his eyes once more then opened it again. His vision was getting clearer and clearer. He looked up at the man who was smiling down at him. The man’s face was showing relief and happiness.
 
Things that Sehun never saw since he got sick.
 
He was sick.
 
Two years ago, he found out about it. It started to be just a normal cold that he never gave much attention to it. His younger brother Sejun, told him to take a break but he didn’t listen to him. He was too busy to be sick.
 
Sehun was one of the famous graphic artists in South Korea. He was also in the line of animation and painting. Most of his works were praised and sold on higher bids internationally. He was in the industry ever since he was in high school, that was why his name was already known to the public. He loved what he was doing. He loved holding either a pen or a paintbrush. He loved his job and he loved that it was keeping him busy. He was too engrossed with his work that sometimes, he forgot a lot of things around him.
 
One was his family. His father, Oh Siwon got mad at him when he told him that he wasn’t interested in their family business. His father was one of the most richest businessman in their country. He was the owner of the biggest manufacturer of toys and currently his younger brother was helping him.
 
Meanwhile, his mother was a fashion designer. She was able to open up a clothing line with their family name. And even that didn’t give him any interest at all.
 
Money was never a problem for them. Especially to Sehun.
 
His grandfather gave half of his money to him and the other half to his brother before he died. His grandfather understood his dreams completely. It wasn’t a shocker to everyone, his grandfather was a famous painter too back in his days.
 
All his life, Sehun thought everything was going on his way. Until he suddenly collapsed in the middle of a business meeting with his younger brother.
 
It was only Sejun who knew about his sickness. No one, not even his parents knew about it. All everyone knew was that he was just on vacation.
 
Ever since he found out that he was sick, he started to feel like a candle. Just waiting for the fire finish him. It was also then he started to have monsters inside his head. He tried his very best to avoid them, to not listen to them. But they kept showing up especially in times like these.
 
“Hello,” a deep voice became clear to his ears now. “I am your new doctor, Doctor Park Chanyeol.”
 
Sehun blinked once more and now he could finally see him. He tried to sit up by himself but the man hurriedly stopped him.”Don’t, your body is still weak to move.”
 
“Where is Doctor Kim?” He asked, looking for his personal doctor.
 
The man named Chanyeol smiled at him. Sehun stared at him. His smile was different. So different that it shocked him.
 
“Doctor Kim had to go to Busan because his wife was looking for him. He had to take a leave because within this week is his wife’s due date.”
 
‘Excuses.’
 
Sehun nodded, ignoring the faint voice that he heard. Well, he forgot that his doctor’s wife was pregnant and almost giving birth. He knew about it and didn’t give much thought because he was almost sure he didn’t need him that time.
 
But then he was wrong.
 
‘Everyone is going to leave you,’ a voice in his head started to talk. ‘You’re going to die alone.’
 
“So for now, I will be taking care of you. Doctor Kim already gave me your medical records,” the new doctor continued talking and smiling at him.
 
He looked around the place he was at and groaned. He was back to the hospital once again. Nothing changed. He was back to square one. “I thought I was alright already.”
 
‘No, you aren’t, Sehun-ah. You will never be okay.’
 
Doctor Park faltered a bit but his smile remained which somehow irritated Sehun. He wanted to take that smile off of his face.
 
Sehun squinted his eyes to look at him distinctly. What word could he describe this man? Ah, alive. Yes. The doctor looked so alive. Always smiling. Always giving life to people. Probably because he was a doctor.
 
‘Even this doctor won’t save you. He’s just going to leave you like the first one,’ another voice said. Sehun closed his eyes tightly.
 
He tried to concentrate on the doctor’s appearance.
 
Doctor Park was tall, or maybe because Sehun was just lying down on the hospital bed so he wasn’t that sure. He had a fair skin, not too pale unlike him. His hair was black and permed like a poodle. His eyes were also smiling, like he loved everything that he was seeing.
 
In short, very opposite of Sehun’s situation.
 
“I know Doctor Kim cleared you as an off-patient after the chemotherapy and some intensive treatment that you had these past few months. But it seemed that the relapse was sooner than we expected. You lost too much blood because your platelet is too low. We already did a blood transfusion for you after the surgery. We may conduct some tests first just to be sure what kind of treatment we might need to do next.”
 
“Why is this possible, Doctor?” Sehun groaned after asking that question. He was too weak already to even move.
 
‘Such a weakling.’ Another monster in his head said.
 
Doctor Park looked at him straight in the eyes. “It was possible that the symptoms was again showing and we were not able to take notice of it. But for now, we need to take some tests then we will see.”
 
Sehun just closed his eyes in defeat. He knew he was being careless once again. His colds were coming back weeks ago but he ignored it because he was working on an artwork in his house.
 
He collapsed one morning when one of his maids attended him in his studio. He was about to take his breakfast when he suddenly coughed blood. His maid went hysterical and immediately called the hospital.
 
Now Sehun wasn’t sure how long he has been in the hospital after that.
 
“And I already called your brother about this, he just fixed something that’s why he wasn’t around now. But he said that he will come back immediately.”
 
Another ache came in his head. Now he had to explain to his brother what had happen. And he knew what his brother would say.
 
“Let’s tell Mom and Dad, hyung.”
 
Sehun looked at Sejun even though his head was still aching so bad. He wanted to go back to sleep but he needed to talk to his younger brother first. He wanted to be sure what his brother would do.
 
Sejun looked a lot like him, just a younger version. Many people would thought that they were twins because of the similarities of their appearance. He was just a little taller than his brother and buffer. But currently, his brother looked a lot stronger than him.
 
“No,” was the only thing he managed to say.
 
His younger brother looked at him with so much pain and irritation. He hated seeing that kind of look. He didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want people to look at him like that.
 
“Hyung, I don’t know why you are doing this. Our parents have the right to know about your situation! No matter what would happen, you are still their child! Hyung…”
 
He weakly shook his head. “No.”
 
“Hyung, you have Leukemia! This is not just a common cold or something!”
 
Sehun bit his lip and closed his eyes, tired. Sejun continued talking aloud, as if his brother was trying to open his eyes in the reality. He didn’t need to do that because he already knew. Yes, Leukemia. He had been fighting his life against that monster. Who would have thought he would catch that kind of sickness?
 
The beginning of his treatment was Chemotherapy. The pain of seeing his hair fall was too much but he couldn’t do anything. Then after that, months of intensive treatment was given to him along with the drugs that made him feel so nauseous.
 
He sighed deeply. He thought that it all just happens in the movies. He thought that it could never happen to him.
 
“Excuse me,” a voice distracted them and made him open his eyes once again.
 
Doctor Park was by the door, holding a green clipboard in his hand and a stethoscope hanging around his neck. He looked like a god, so handsome and muscular. Then he walked towards them with the same smile that he showed earlier.
 
“I already got the result and I won’t prolong this any further. Oh Sehun-ssi already developed resistance to his medications and his leukemia is now at late accelerated phase. It may be entering at what we called a blast. So the only way to go now is stem cell transplant. It’s the most expensive treatment available but it is our only hope.”
 
‘That won’t also work, Sehun-ah. You won’t be able to get out of this misery.’
 
In the tip of his eye, Sehun saw Sejun closed his eyes tightly. Then his younger brother spoke. “We’ll take it, Doctor. Make the preparations for the treatment as soon as possible.”
 
“Sejun-ah,” he called but his brother ignored him. “I think we could do another alternatives…”
 
‘Pft. Even the alternatives won’t work for you.’
 
Sejun continued talking to his new doctor about his upcoming treatment and the tests that he had to take. He was completely ignoring him. Sehun just gave in and let his brother do his thing. He was too weak to even argue anymore.
 
He glanced at Doctor Park who was talking to his brother seriously. He still had that smile, though more formal than earlier.
 
Sehun swallowed a lump on his throat when he felt a sudden pang on his chest. The doctor glanced back at him and he quickly closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure why but something in his cheeks were burning.
 
He didn’t know why he felt his heart beating so fast too.
 
Okay, he’ll admit it. This new doctor was very attractive. He so attractive... that it was so distracting. So very handsome. So very strong. So very perfect. And so what? He had seen a lot of attractive men before and it didn’t affect him like this. What’s with this doctor that his smile could shake him like this?
 
He never had any love interests before. Now, he was twenty-nine years old and almost thirty, he realized that he lost too many times to even think about having a love life.
 
Sehun carefully opened his eyes and there was it again. Doctor Park was watching him while talking to his brother! He moved his head to the other side and tried to forget it.
 
But his beating heart… just wouldn’t.
 
~~
 
“Thank you, Doctor.”
 
Chanyeol smiled at Oh Sejun and bowed slightly before closing the door carefully. When the door was completely closed, he took a deep breath. His hands were shaking for being so nervous.
 
He walked along the empty hallway while thinking about Oh Sehun.
 
Not in a million years he have thought that he would be Sehun’s personal doctor. He was a fan of Sehun’s work since then. From his artworks to his animations. He watched all of his animated movies and shows.
 
He always dreamed of meeting the guy behind the beautiful work but not in this kind of case.
 
When Doctor Kim called him and told him to be a replacement doctor for a special patient, never did he thought it would be Oh Sehun. As a fan, he never knew that he was sick. It broke something in him when he learned about his condition.
 
Sehun’s relapse was very alarming. After spending several months of intensive care in the hospital, he already achieved remission and Doctor Kim finally cleared him. Unfortunately, a relapse could happen when the leukemia returns. Most cases needed continuous treatment to keep their symptoms at bay. And the fact that Sehun’s relapse happened sooner than what they expected, meaning that his condition transformed into an accelerated case and then a blast phase which immature cells overwhelm the blood and the bone marrow.
 
A relapse could be treated with different drugs or combinations of drugs from those that were used before, but in Sehun’s case, they could still perform an allogeneic stem cell transplant. It was their last option.
 
“Hello, Doctor Park,” one of the nurses greeted him as he walked along the hallway. The nurse was pushing an old patient in a wheelchair.
 
He immediately showed his usual friendly smile. “Hello, how are you?”
 
Both the nurse and the patient smiled and greeted back at him. That was his usual day in the hospital. Almost everyone in the hospital knows him. He was known as the friendliest doctor in their medical institution. His dream was to help people be better and make them happy.
 
In the first few years, it was not that hard. He was friendly to his patients but he was never that attached to them. It was his golden rule: never to be so close to a patient. It would be too hard for him in the end.
 
“Prepare the necessary equipment that we will need for the stem cell treatment for Oh Sehun-ssi tomorrow,” he told one of the staffs when he stopped by the operating room.
 
The staff immediately followed his request.
 
The donor for the treatment would be Sehun’s brother, Sejun. He was quite surprised when Sejun told him that he already prepared a test to check his compatibility with his brother’s. In that moment, he knew Sejun was willing to do everything for his older brother.
 
It was touching. He was glad that Sehun had someone like Sejun to look after him. Even though it looked like Sehun didn’t know anything about it yet.
 
Chanyeol continued his walk to his office. He spotted few nurses in the hallway that greeted him politely. Everything was normal for him. Just another day in the hospital.
 
When Chanyeol entered his office, he took a deep breath as he sat down on his swivel chair. He stared at his framed picture in the wall where he was still wearing his first scrub suit and smiling. That was years ago. Now, he was a medical and a hematologist-oncologist. After he took up Medical Technology as an undergraduate degree, he proceeded to take up Oncology for four years straight.
 
He became a resident in the same hospital for a year then passed his board exams. Then he proceeded to take his PhD course right away. The whole process of his career was long and stressing but the pay was better and the feeling of getting a great result was worth it.
 
It was actually his dream job since he was young. Since he found out that his own mother has Leukemia. He was the only child of his parents, so it was expected that most of the attention will be on him. But it wasn’t. Most of his childhood were spent in the hospital because of his mother’s intensive treatment. All of the attention were on his mother’s welfare.
 
In the beginning, it was confusing him.
 
‘Why is mother always pale? Why is mother always on the bed? Why do we need to go back to the hospital again? Is mother not okay yet?’
 
It was also an everyday process for him to learn about his mother’s sickness. He remembered one time when his mother was in the hospital bed, she called him to come close. He looked at her with mixed feelings. His mother didn’t have any hair on her head anymore.
 
With a weak smile, his mother called him again. “Chanyeol, baby…”
 
He remembered how he reached out to her and how she brightened when they held hands. He remembered how cold her hands felt and how weak she was. He remembered how his heart ached so bad when his mother told him that she loved him so much.
 
A day after that, the doctor announced his mother’s time of death.
 
With that, he swore to himself that he would help. Help people who were like his mother. So the family of the patient wouldn’t feel the same pain that he felt when his mother died.
 
In the age of thirty-five, he was now Park Chanyeol, M.D., PhD.
 
It was said that he was one of the youngest doctors in their hospital. Maybe because he never took a break for his professional development. He never went to trips, and breaks. And never even had time for his love life, he was all just studying and studying.
 
The only time he made himself loose was when he started working as a doctor full-time. That was when he started to make more friends and hang out. He started to hang out to a lot places and help a lot of people. The more people he helped, the happier he got.
 
Doctor Kim was one of his seniors that he became close with. He was the one who made his life easier in the hospital. He taught him the things he needed to learn in every operation. He also taught him how to handle patients specially in their field.
 
Chanyeol took a deep sigh as he stared at the medical profile in his hand. Oh Sehun’s medical chart was worrying him.
 
It was two years ago when he became a huge fan of Sehun’s work. One of his patients were watching his animated movie inside his room that he visited. The movie got his attention that he immediately searched for it during his day-off. Movies after movies and then next he moved to watch Sehun’s animated series. All of those things made him cry and laugh. He became an instant fan.
 
Then he searched about Oh Sehun. He was amazed at how young the man was when he started in the industry. He also found out that he was not only good in animation, but also in painting.
 
Chanyeol turned his chair and stared at the beautiful abstract painting on the left side of his wall. He even bought one of Sehun’s artwork, Moonlight. It was a painting of a moon flashing it’s light and was surrounded by the night sky and dark sea. It was so beautiful that he couldn’t resist. It cost him a big amount of money, but he never regretted buying it in an auction.
 
As a fan, it saddened him big time when Doctor Kim told him about Sehun’s real condition. No media ever found out about his sickness. How Sehun did that was beyond him.
 
He had never seen Sehun in person before and he only seen him in pictures. That was why when Doctor Kim told him that he was going to transfer a special patient to him, he was really shocked. He never thought it would be none other than the Oh Sehun. The Oh Sehun that he was admiring for about two years.
 
The first time he saw the man in person was when Sehun was sent to the hospital three days ago, covered with blood all over his face and body. He never felt so nervous before during a surgery but with Sehun, all his mind thought was ‘I need to save him. I need to make sure, I’ll save him.’
 
Chanyeol was so relieved that Sehun woke up after that. When he saw Sehun’s eyes, he couldn’t help but smile. Sehun has an eye of an artist. They were beautiful even though he looked so tired and weak. Something in his chest went somersault.
 
His golden rule was to never get too attach to his patients. He looked at Sehun’s photo in his profile and pursed his lips. Those beautiful deep black pearls staring at him and the small pink lips trying to force a smile. Chanyeol gulped. He started to wonder whether he could still follow that rule.
 
~~
 
The operation went well, at least that was what Doctor Park told Sehun. Though his head was still aching, overall he was all right.
 
“We need to check him for a few days then if his condition goes better after that, we could allow him to be an off-patient,” Doctor Park continued and smiled at his brother then to him.
 
He was actually happy with that news. If he got better he could get out of the hospital and continue his artwork. He could go back to his normal life once again.
 
Sejun was standing beside his table when Sehun saw him crossed his arms. “Don’t worry, Doctor. I talked to our parents, we all think it was far better if my brother stays in here.”
 
“What?” His voice was hoarse when he asked that. Him? Staying in this hospital?
 
His brother turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “If you’d come back to your house, I bet you’ll work again day and night. Then you’ll forget about your condition and then get sick again. Hyung, if you want to be completely okay, the best thing we could do is to let you stay here.”
 
Sehun was about to answer back when he noticed Doctor Park was looking at him. His words died in his throat and he just looked away, feeling a different kind of heat inside him.
 
That eyes again. That beautiful damn eyes!
 
“No more arguing, okay? Mom and Dad are coming back next week from New York. They’re just finishing everything there so that they could come back here and help.”
 
“I don’t need their help,” his tone became bitter without realizing it. He closed his eyes tightly.
 
If his parents were just coming back to feel pity and would tell him a bunch of ‘I-told-you-so’ then it would just be better if they were far away. He didn’t need that kind of stress right now. He didn’t something to add up for the monsters inside him.
 
Sejun sighed deeply, then looked back to Doctor Park. “Doctor, please tell this one to be obedient for once. I need to go back to my work.”
 
He didn’t see nor hear what the doctor replied but he heard the door cracking open then close. But when he opened his eyes, he was so shock that the ever so tall doctor was beside his bed… and looking at him again.
 
And in a second when their eyes met, Doctor Park smiled widely. Sehun immediately heard his heart beat so fast, he felt his face reddened profusely.
 
“I need to check your vitals. How are you feeling?” Doctor Park’s voice was so deep yet so soft. It sent some unknown shivers on Sehun’s skin.
 
He gulped before answering. “I-I’m all right. Just a little headache.”
 
Doctor Park nodded and wrote down something on his clipboard. With that time, Sehun found himself observing the doctor. Black permed hair. Fair skin. He noticed the veins showing in his hand while writing, and he was also right-handed.
 
He also noticed how the doctor looked so good wearing his white coat. Irrelevant. And also, white was Sehun’s favorite color. Also irrelevant.
 
‘Really irrelevant,’ Sehun almost jumped at that voice.
 
When Doctor Park put down his clipboard and sat down on the edge of his bed, Sehun felt his heart beating wildly. He stiffened for a second.
 
“I need to check your temperature. If it’s low or high,” Doctor Park explained, probably noticing his reaction.
 
Sehun gulped carefully and nodded.
 
Doctor Park pulled out a thermometer from his side pocket. “Don’t worry, I had this one sanitized even though it’s new.”
 
Sehun wasn’t questioning about that. All he could think of was the fast heartbeat in his chest that didn’t seem like it has a sign of stopping. He sighed as he looked at the attractive doctor once again. Yep. No sign of stopping at all.
 
The past few days flew and all Sehun felt like he was always tired and weak. He didn’t even feel anything when his parents came to visit him. His mother cried so much while Doctor Park explained to them about his condition.
 
His mother his head while looking at him with teary-eyes. “I’m so sorry, my son.”
 
Sehun didn’t know what to reply to her so he remained silent. Honestly, he was shocked at their reaction. He didn’t see that coming.
 
His father just looked at him, concern was obvious in his eyes. Though, he didn’t say anything to him at all.
 
‘They don’t really love you. They’re just guilty because they couldn’t accept you.’ A laugh came after that. He just decided to excuse himself because he needed to sleep.
 
Sehun was getting better, in fact. He could actually eat more food than before. He didn’t vomit every now and then. He was starting to have colors in his face. Everything was going smooth.
 
After a month in the hospital, Sehun decided he wanted to go out despite what his brother said before. Doctor Park already gave him a go signal but his parents were being so cautious.
 
“How about you take Doctor Park with you?” his mother suggested while his father was in front of his bed, standing with his arms crossed.
 
He glanced at his tall and attractive doctor, who didn’t look shocked at what his mother said.
 
His mother sat on the chair beside his bed and gently held his cold hands. “That is possible, right? Where do you wanna go, baby? Hmm?”
 
Sehun reddened at the endearment of his mother. The last time his mother was this sweet was when he was young so this was brand-new for him. He didn’t know if it was a good thing. That the main reason why his mother was like this was because he was sick.
 
He glanced again at his doctor before speaking. “Somewhere. Can I… Can I talk to my doctor privately?”
 
His parents didn’t say no. They looked back at him, as if they were afraid that he might disappear, then quietly walked out.
 
When he saw the door closed, he finally took a deep breath. Sehun looked at Doctor Park then shyly smiled. “I’m sorry about that.”
 
“About what?”

“You don’t need to come with me in this vacation. I know you’re busy here in the hospital and I didn’t want to be a bother.”
 
Doctor Park smiled at him, his big eyes sparkled. “Sehun-ssi, I don’t mind going with you and besides, I am your personal doctor. I’ll go with you wherever you go.”
 
Sehun didn’t know why his face burned with that sentence. He looked down and fiddled his fingers on his lap. There goes his heart once again. Maybe he should have it checked too. “Y-You can call me Sehun. Just Sehun.”
 
Silence. There was a moment of silence that Sehun had to look up at him. Then there, he saw Doctor Park staring at him, slowly smiling as they meet each other’s gaze.
 
“Okay, Sehun. You can call me Chanyeol then.”
 
~~
 
Since Sehun wasn’t allowed in traveling abroad, they just stayed at one of his villa near in the Seoul Forest in Seongdong-gu. Chanyeol smiled inside the backseat of the car they were in as they past by that beautiful forest.
 
The tall trees, the different colors of the leaves and people who were just peacefully walking everywhere.
 
Chanyeol looked at the man beside him, who was peacefully sleeping. It was Sehun who wanted to go here. He said that it was one of his favorite places here in Seoul.
 
He was glad to go here with him. He was more than willing to be with him in this vacation. When Sehun’s parents asked him about it, it didn’t even have to take a while for him to make a decision.
 
One, was probably because he was worried on what might happen to Sehun. The stem cell treatment may be a success but it didn’t guarantee anything. He didn’t want to be far away if Sehun needed the treatment right away.
 
Second was… it was Sehun. Now that he was getting better, he could actually see his better version. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was he reunited with his parents or what. But Sehun seemed to be in a better mood since then.
 
And last but not the least, was he wanted to be with Sehun. Yeah, it was weird for him to say that. He never wanted to be this close to his patients but… Sehun was intriguing. He wanted to know him. He wanted to know what was he like in person and not just a famous person or a patient.
 
He felt like there was a force inside him that wanted to pull him closer to Sehun. He was curious.
 
When they arrived at Sehun’s place, Chanyeol wasn’t shocked anymore that it looked grand. A huge black gate welcomed them as they entered the main villa. Tall and green trees were lined up along the road. Plants were cut neatly in the garden in front yard of the villa. Flowers bloomed with beautiful colors. And a beautiful large fountain in the middle of it all.
 
The main villa was big. It looked so high class, painted with golden brown and white. The details of every side of the villa were so exquisite and neat. It was like a small castle in the middle of nowhere.
 
Chanyeol smiled inwardly. The place looked so clean and peaceful. No wonder Sehun wanted to go here.
 
Sehun woke up when the car stopped. His eyes still looked groggy that it made Chanyeol worried for a moment. “Are you okay?”
 
His handsome patient nodded and smiled at him. “Yep. Don’t worry.”
 
How could Chanyeol not worry?
 
He will always worry about him.
 
A group of maids in blue uniform welcomed them inside the villa. He was holding on to Sehun while walking to his room in the second floor. Sehun could clearly walk but he just wanted to make sure he was safe.
 
“You worry too much,” Sehun pouted when he settled him on his bed.
 
Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile. “I wanted to make sure, okay?”
 
Sehun rolled his eyes at him that made him chuckle. So this was the other side of Sehun, huh?
 
“Are you hungry?” Chanyeol asked as he put down some of Sehun’s things beside the table.
 
He heard a big sigh from the latter. “Chanyeol, please you’re my personal doctor not my personal maid. Stop that, let the maids do that.”
 
Chanyeol then turned to him and sighed. “Fine. But if you want something, tell me.”
 
His heart skipped a beat when Sehun smiled widely at him. Was it the first time he saw him smile that way? Probably, yes. Sehun pointed at the garden outside his window. “Let’s go out. I want to see to the garden.”
 
Chanyeol was beside Sehun while they strolling down the beautiful garden. There was a bricked road along the way around the garden. He was amazed when he saw cherry blossom trees in the farthest part. They looked so bright and refreshing, leaves dancing with the wind. It was like they were on a different world. “This is nice.”
 
“Yeah,” Sehun replied, his voice was soft, as they continued to walk. “I will never get tired of this place.”
 
“How did you manage to get this kind of place?”
 
Sehun glanced at Chanyeol with a grin in his face. “This was a gift from my grandfather. Long before, it was just the villa with a simple garden but I made some changes.”
 
“Wow,” Chanyeol managed, looking around the garden. “There’s a lot of changes though.”
 
The sound of Sehun’s chuckle made his heart warm. Sehun continued talking, “Ever since I got my first paycheck, I put it mostly on here. From the architecture to the maintainability of this place. Everything just to make this a peaceful and beautiful haven for me. It helps me relax whenever I’m stressed with work.”
 
Somehow it surprised Chanyeol that Sehun was sharing this. It didn’t seem to him that he would share something so personal. But he was glad, at the very least, Sehun was opening up to him.
 
When they reached the end part of the garden, Chanyeol was surprised to see a clear river flowing down to the farthest part of the forest. He could smell the fresh air and hear the sound of the water crashing into the stones. The clear blue sky perfecting the masterpiece.
 
He saw Sehun sitting down in a cemented bench just in front of the river. He stood behind him, watching intently. He saw how Sehun took a deep breath and swayed his feet slightly, like a child admiring the nature.
 
Chanyeol smiled once again, admiring not just the nature. He walked up to the riverside and crouched down to touch the water. It felt cold in his hand. “Is the river safe to swim on?”
 
“Yeah, I used to swim here with my grandfather when I was a kid.”
 
“You must be so close to your grandfather, huh?” Chanyeol then stood and faced Sehun.
 
He saw how Sehun’s eyes sadden a bit when he looked down. Chanyeol felt bad for asking. He felt like he was over the line but he didn’t understand why. He didn’t want to pry. He glanced back to the running water. The silence was deafening.
 
“He was the only who accepted me,” Sehun suddenly whispered, as if he was afraid that the world might hear him.
 
Chanyeol turned to him, with his eyebrows crunched together. “Accepted?”
 
Sehun glanced at him then down again. “He was the only one who accepted that I was gay.”
 
To say that he was surprised, was an understatement for Chanyeol. He never thought of Sehun’s ual preference before, even back when he was just a fan. And he never thought that Sehun being gay… was such a big deal.
 
“You’ll never understand it,” Sehun saw Chanyeol’s expression. “If you’re the first born of the president of a big empire, a lot of expectations will come to you. First was, giving them an heir and I couldn’t do that without marrying the woman they prefer.”

Chanyeol pursed his lips. His family was not that rich, so Sehun was right. He would never understand it. It must be a big bag on Sehun’s shoulders back then. Being forced to do something he never liked.
 
“They were considerate enough when I told them that I didn’t want to take our company. It was okay. Sejun was there to fill the seat. He was there to take my place as the supposed heir. My brother doesn’t mind though, he was really the best when it comes to business. He was an expert with the flow in our company. My parents were proud of him for that. I thought that was it. I thought I was out of their sight, but they wanted me to marry someone for convenience.”
 
Chanyeol didn’t know about marriage and how business were connected with each other but it didn’t seem right to force it. He only thought of marriage as chain of love and commitment.
 
When his mother died, his father didn’t remarry after that. His father was too in love with his mother to ever think of marriage once again. His attention was all in his work and Chanyeol.
 
He suddenly realized how different their world was. It was like Sehun was a prince and he was just common healer beside him. Never in the same lane, but could communicate with each other.
 
“When I told them that I was gay, my father was beyond furious. My mom only cried but never said anything. But I knew. I knew they were disappointed with me once again.”
 
“How about your brother?”
 
Sehun sadly smiled. “He was civil with it, I guess. He seemed like he was just pretending that he didn’t know about it. Like he didn’t even acknowledge my confession. I don’t know which hurt a lot.”
 
Something in Sehun’s eyes twinkled that made Chanyeol unconsciously reach out to him. He didn’t know why he did it. But when his hand landed on Sehun’s face gently, Sehun’s shock expression came along with a tear falling down from his eyes.
 
It was like the world stood still. They were both shocked. Sehun with Chanyeol’s hand on his face and Chanyeol with Sehun’s tears. It was like they were both in a trance with each other’s eyes. Trapped but unwilling to let go.
 
“You have such beautiful eyes,” Chanyeol whispered when he was unable to stop himself then brushed off the wet tear that was ruining the beautiful image in front of him.
 
But he was glad he didn’t, especially when he was rewarded with the most beautiful smile he has ever seen. Sehun’s smile.
 
~~
 
Sehun wasn’t sure if he was comforted by Chanyeol. But when he wiped his tear, he felt better than before. He felt like something was pulled out of him. He was so glad it was out of him.
 
He felt something new was exchanged for it. Something that he never felt before. It was so foreign to him that he couldn’t seem to control it inside him.
 
“Here you go,” Chanyeol placed a plate of salad in front of him and smiled.
 
They were now in the living room, eating dinner. He was sitting on a one-seater couch and was watching one of his animated movies. It was his favorite work since then and whenever he’s got the chance, he would watch it.
 
He gave Chanyeol a smile. A thing that he has been doing since that afternoon by the river. “Thank you.”
 
He already told Chanyeol that he didn’t need to do these things but it seems like the doctor wouldn’t last a moment without doing anything. So Sehun just indulged it and let him do his thing.
 
Chanyeol sat on the couch beside his then watched the movie in front of them. “Oh! My favorite.”
 
The corner of Sehun’s lip rose. It felt flattering that someone still like his works no matter how old it was. “Really?”
 
“Yep! You really did great with the story line and the animation. The story line that you plotted was beyond everything! Ah! Totally great! I re-watched it a lot of times during my day-off! I mean, your other works are great too but this,” he pointed the flat screen television. “This one is a masterpiece!”
 
Sehun turned to the man beside him. He was shocked that Chanyeol knew that it was his work. Honestly, he never told anyone that he was the one who worked on the story line of that movie. People only knew about him doing the animation. Only his close and real fans knew about it. The information was secreted due to some problems with the production.
 
That made him smile even wider that Chanyeol started to notice. Sehun then turned his smile to a teasing smirk. “I didn’t know you were a fan of mine.”
 
Chanyeol blushed profusely and looked away. “I-I’m not exactly a fan. I just saw it from some blogs.”
 
He nodded, still with a smirk on his face. It made Chanyeol more red that it suddenly looked cute for Sehun. He always thought of Chanyeol as an attractive person but this was the first time he saw him being this adorable. “Really, huh?”
 
“Yes!”
 
“But this movie was known because of my animation. How did you know about the story line? Hmm?”
 
He saw the way Chanyeol bit his lip then for a minute he sighed. “Fine. Yes. I was a big fan.”
 
“Was?” Sehun raised an eyebrow at the stuttering man.
 
Chanyeol looked down and fidgeted his fingers on his lap. “I am a big fan.” Then turned to him and glared. “You happy now?”
 
Sehun laughed so hard, something he has never done for a long time. “Don’t be like that. I’m quite flattered that my personal doctor is a fan of mine.”
 
“Quite?”
 
Another laugh came out of him. He could get used to this.
 
Those big black pearls in Chanyeol’s eyes. His smile beautiful smile. His handsome face. Sehun thought of all of that as his hand worked holding a pencil in front of a blank canvass. Then his hands started to work.
 
Chanyeol told him that he could go back to working his art as long as he won’t overdo it. So here he was in the middle of the night, in his studio because he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t sleep because he kept thinking about his new personal doctor.
 
He just needed to let it out. He just needed to let this new feelings out. He didn’t know how to handle it. He didn’t know how control it.
 
The feeling of being so happy with someone, was new to him. The way his heart beat so fast whenever Chanyeol was with him was splendid. It was making him nervous and blissful at the same time.
 
It was the first time in his life that he felt like this.
 
Being happy.
 
Being accepted.
 
He traced Chanyeol’s beautiful eyes in a darker shade. His heart skipped a beat when he could see the handsome face clearly now in front of him. He erased some unnecessary lines, then he was done.
 
His first work after his surgery. He smiled at it, proud of himself.
 
“Sehun?”
 
Sehun suddenly jumped from his seat and hurriedly covered the canvass with a white cloth when he heard Chanyeol’s voice. He turned to see Chanyeol by the door, wearing a white shirt and black shorts.
 
White really looks good on him, Sehun noted mentally but his heart was racing.
 
“H-How long have you been there?” He asked at the doctor, looking at him wide in horror.
 
Did Chanyeol see the canvass?
 
Did Chanyeol see him drawing him?
 
What would Chanyeol think?
 
That Sehun was a lovesick puppy trying to get into his doctor?
 
Sehun’s heart wouldn’t stop beating so fast, he felt his face reddened so bad.
 
Chanyeol’s eyebrows collided, worry visible in his eyes. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”
 
Sehun gulped when the doctor walked closer and felt his forehead. He suddenly couldn’t move. Chanyeol’s touch was electrifying him.
 
“You don’t seem to have a cold but you’re red. What’s wrong?” Chanyeol asked after he put down his hand.
 
He gulped once more and shook his head. “N-Nothing. How long have you been there?”
 
Chanyeol seemed to have been ignoring his question. He saw him glancing at his cloth-covered canvass. “It’s past midnight, Sehun. I told you not to work late, right?

He bit his lip and looked down. “I couldn’t sleep. I feel like I just needed to draw.” Then his heart made a loud thump when he saw Chanyeol holding the edge of the cloth, about to uncover the drawing. He held his hand to stop him. “Don’t!”
 
“Why?”
 
Then his face reddened even more. He didn’t want to answer the question but he didn’t want to sound like a child. “It’s still unfinished.”
 
“Really?” Chanyeol raised an eyebrow. Now he suddenly looked interested. “It’s okay, just a sneak peak, maybe? Please?”
 
His heart was going crazy. Chanyeol’s voice while begging stirred something inside him that he never thought that existed. “No.”

Chanyeol then leered at him, like he was accusing him of something. “Don’t tell me…”
 
The beating Sehun’s heart doubled. How long will this embarrassing night last? He suddenly wanted to go back to his room and scream.
 
“Don’t tell me you drew someone ?”
 
Sehun blinked at Chanyeol’s question. “What?”
 
The man in front of him shrugged. “You know, artists are known for drawing artistic nudes. So is that it?”
 
He felt like his whole face was on fire. Chanyeol was expecting him to draw nudes in this time of hour? Oh great. “N-no! Just something in mind, I’m just practicing.”
 
“Practicing?”
 
If it was possible to get redder, he already was. “Y-yeah. I’m not good in drawing people’s faces. I just tried but it wasn’t that good yet so I’m… I’m embarrassed to show it.”
 
A total lie but he felt like he needed to say that just save face.
 
Thankfully, Chanyeol didn’t push it anymore but the doctor held his hand and gently dragged him out of his studio. “Come on, you need to sleep. Don’t make me stay in your room just to make sure you’re resting, huh?”
 
“Eh?”
 
Chanyeol giggled sheepishly, making Sehun stare at the beautiful sight in front of him. Yep. He could really get used to this.
 
~~
 
“Do you like this?” Chanyeol asked Sehun as they finally settled their picnic setup.
 
Sehun wanted to watch the sunset that day, so they quickly planned their quick trip to the Seoul Forest. Chanyeol drove them to the beautiful forest. Though there were a lot of people already inside, it still didn’t stop them to find a good spot to watch.
 
They settled in front of a lake, with a few people also wanting to watch the sunset around them.
 
Sehun spotted a family beside their table. They looked so happy. The parents laughed loudly as they watched their two kids playing with the leaves in the grass.

It reminded him of happy memories. Then it made him sad too.
 
“Sehun?”
 
His eyes quickly diverted to the man beside him. “Ah, yes.”
 
Chanyeol looked at the family that Sehun watched and finally sighed. “Do you want to move to another table, or?”
 
“I’m fine. The view here is great. No need to move, Chanyeol.” Sehun shook his head and smiled at his worrisome doctor.
 
The doctor just nodded and moved to their basket. “I prepared some fruits here then some ham salad. I also have some avocado shake here. What do you want?”
 
Sehun walked a few steps and sat down on the ground, his feet hanging down on the edge of the lake. He looked down at his reflection and saw how pale he was. Even nature couldn’t lie to him.
 
The sight didn’t shock him, to be honest. He knew what he looked like. How he looked like. But there were times he felt like he couldn’t stand watching himself being this sick. It was like every time he look at himself, every bit of confidence he has inside was shattering.
 
It has been a week since they arrived there. A week of changing emotions. A week of confusion. A week of unknown things.

And a week of realizations.
 
“Hey,” Sehun felt Chanyeol sitting down beside him. “You’re quiet. Are you okay?”
 
He nodded and looked at the beautiful man. “Yeah. I’m just thinking about a lot of things.”
 
“Things like?”
 
“Love?” Sehun answered, with an eyebrow raised.
 
He saw Chanyeol showing a smile after that. “What about love?”
 
“I realized that if ever I get cleared, I wanted to marry the man I love.”
 
“That’s nice,” Chanyeol simply answered, then looked down.
 
“Yeah, I wanted to be with him and spend the rest of my days with him.”
 
Sehun didn’t know why Chanyeol was suddenly silent. But he continued while looking at the setting sun. “Maybe we could adopt kids and then raise them in my house. Or in my villa here, wherever he likes.”
 
“He must be so lucky,” He heard Chanyeol whispered.
 
Sehun smiled and turned to him again. “What do you think?”
 
“Huh?” Chanyeol looked suddenly confused at him.
 
“What do you think?” he repeated his question.
 
Chanyeol pursed his lips. “What do you mean?”
 
“Do you want to stay in the villa or in Seoul?”
 
Chanyeol’s eyes widened and his mouth opened a bit in surprise then reddened. “Ahm, ah, gah. What?”
 
“Maybe in Seoul? So it would be close to your work? Hmm?”
 
The doctor flushed so bad because of his questions that he covered his face with both of his hands. “Sehun…”
 
Sehun laughed at his reaction then turned back to the view in front of them. He suddenly forgot about his insecurities. His worries. These past few days, he started to dream something new. In his dream, it was like this. Peaceful. Happy. Healthy. And most of all, he was with the one he loves.
 
~~
 
“You’re up so late again.”
 
Sehun quickly turned to the voice behind him and even without turning, he knew it was Chanyeol. “Couldn’t sleep again. Sorry.”
 
The doctor was leaning on the door frame with his hands crossed on his chest. He was looking at Sehun so seriously as if trying to punish him with his eyes. He was so gorgeous even in the darkness. Sehun’s heart was beating so fast but he managed a simple smile at him. He wasn’t scared. He knew Chanyeol wouldn’t get mad at him even if he tries.
 
Sehun went to his studio again. Something in his head wanted to work again. He wanted to do something before his inspiration will be gone. He wanted to see the images in his head in front of him.
 
“I’m really sorry,” Sehun said again, this time softer.
 
He saw Chanyeol’s ears started to brighten red. After the ‘almost-confession’ he did in the park earlier, everything between them started to feel different. It changed a lot. They became more… affectionate with each other.
 
Chanyeol walked closer to him. “Who did you draw this time?”
 
Sehun’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
 
Did Chanyeol know about his portrait of him?
 
“You’re practicing how to draw portraits, right?”
 
He nodded, his heart beating more anxiously.
 
“I just wonder if you’re drawing a certain person because of that reason.”
 
Sehun took a deep breath. Of course. “Ah, it’s not a portrait. I’m drafting something.”
 
He showed the artwork that he did. It was a black and white drawing of the view they had earlier. And they were in the drawing too. Chanyeol and Sehun sitting beside each other in the riverside. The two looked so happy while looking at each other.
 
“We look so… happy in here,” Chanyeol finally said.
 
Sehun smiled, thanking that Chanyeol really took notice at it. “Yeah, we do.”
 
“And in love.”
 
That’s where he fell silent.
 
Of course, they do. Because that artwork wasn’t a memory. It was his dream.
 
He heard Chanyeol cleared his throat beside him. “Look Sehun…”
 
“I know, don’t worry.” He quickly cut off the doctor. He slowly covered the artwork with a white cloth, indicating that he was done for the night.
 
“You know what?”
 
He looked at his favorite doctor and smiled. “That you don’t feel the same way.”
 
Chanyeol’s face showed that he was shock that he knew. Then he shook his head. “Sehun… the thing is, I like you, okay? You’re nice, talented and very, very, very handsome even for a sick person.”
 
Sehun couldn’t help but smirk at the compliment. “But?”
 
“But…” Chanyeol sighed. “I’m not in love with you.”
 
The surroundings was quiet for a moment. No sound can be heard until Sehun gave out a smile. It broke his heart, yes, but it didn’t hurt that much.
 
“I’m sor-”
 
“It’s okay,” Sehun again cut him off, still smiling. “I wasn’t expecting something in return, Chanyeol. You falling in love with me is something I’m not praying for, especially right now. Those are just my dreams. If you fall in love with me… leaving you would be difficult.”
 
Chanyeol’s eyebrows suddenly furrowed in a dark manner. “What do you mean by that?”
 
Sehun just smiled at him and walked away. Afraid that the monsters inside his head might be heard.
 
~~
 
“Why did you decide to be doctor?”
 
Chanyeol turned to the man in front of him who was busy eating his food. His favorite patient ordered a two pound beef patty burger for lunch, just the restaurant near Sehun’s place. Since it was the first time that Sehun requested something meaty, he obliged. He smiled when he saw some smudges on the tip of Sehun’s lips after taking a bite. Grabbing the napkin in front of him, he started to answer. “My mom died in a cancer.”
 
Sehun’s widened eyes and an opened mouth showed how much he was shocked. Some vegetables even fell from Sehun’s mouth. Chanyeol wiped the corner of his lips, trying his best not to laugh.
 
He continued sharing the story about his mother. It was actually a new experience for him. He never told anyone about his mother because sometimes, it would make him run to a closed room and cry.
 
But now, he was surprised that he never shed a tear. He was talking about it as if it was a beautiful memory. When he told about the last interaction he had with his mother, Sehun smiled brightly. It made his heart skipped a beat for some reason that he had to talk again so he wouldn’t get distracted..
 
“Feeling like I could make someone better, feels like saving my mom,” he confided and looked down on his plate. “If only I could save her. If only I could have made her happy even for the last time.”

The mood was silent but it made Chanyeol think about things. It made him think about his mother. It made him think about his father that remained in love with his mother even after her death.
 
It always amazed him whenever he thought about it. How could someone love so much that even death couldn’t break it?
 
There were times he would ask his father if he was happy. Then his father would smile at him and answered that he was. He wasn’t ever sure if he was just faking it or not.
 
He once joked to him that he could go back to dating again, since Chanyeol could already live by himself. But his father would just casually reject the idea. He then knew that his mother was irreplaceable.
 
If only he had a lot of time to get to know her. If only he got a lot of time to make her happy.
 
“I think you already made her happy,” Sehun distracted him from his thoughts.
 
Chanyeol turned back to him and watched as he took another bite from his two pound food. “What do you mean by that?”
 
But Sehun suddenly choked on his burger that Chanyeol hurriedly gave him a glass of water. When he was safe, he put the burger down on his plate. “Wow, that’s one big burger. I don’t think I’m gonna ever eat another one of that.”
 
“So you’re back to salad?” Chanyeol teased.
 
Sehun pouted cutely. “Sadly.”
 
Chanyeol chuckled and took a bread knife. “You can still eat it in small pieces. Here, let me cut it for you.”

When he started to cut the large burger, that’s when Sehun continued his talk. “I think your mother was happy before she left.”
 
Chanyeol remained silent. Sehun took it as a sign to continue. “She had a wonderful family. Your father loved her so much. And even in the last moment, you made her feel loved too. So I guess she wasn’t that sad when she left.”
 
“Maybe.”
 
“You know some people said that being left behind was painful, but I think it’s wrong. Leaving someone behind is just as painful. Especially if that someone is so special to you. There’ll be a lot of things to think about. Would they be alright without me? Would they be able to the house stuff? Would my son be a good person when he grows up? A lot of it.” Sehun paused to drink water. “And there’s fear too. Fear that they might be forgotten once they’re gone. Fear that maybe everything will be chaotic once they left. But in your mother’s case, it wasn’t. Your mother trusted your father. She knew he wouldn’t leave you. That he would support you in everything. And the moment you reached out to her hand, she knew you were going to be a great kid. She believed it. And seeing you today, I know you are.”
 
Chanyeol stared at the pale man in front of him in wonder. When his heart started to beat fast, he knew he was in trouble once again. “You really know what to say, huh?”
 
Sehun shrugged and grinned at him. “I got a lot of fans because of that.”
 
He laughed this time and gave Sehun his chopped burger. When Sehun winked at him while biting one piece, his laugh faded but the beating of his heart doubled. Right then he knew, he really was in trouble.
 
~~
 
Sehun realized that dreams never really lasts. When he woke up with a high fever and Chanyeol looking down on him with a big worried face, his heart almost hurt as bad as his body.
 
“We need to go back to the hospital,” Chanyeol said.
 
He was sent again to the hospital just as what his doctor has said. When he was being tested, Sehun could sense that something was wrong. Something was wrong that he caught Chanyeol looking at his clipboard more worried than before.
 
“What’s wrong?” Sehun asked softly after hours of check-up.
 
Chanyeol tried to give a smile but it looked forced for Sehun. “We need to wait for your family before I give the results, okay?”
 
“Chanyeol…”
 
He saw how Chanyeol’s hand shook slightly but then the doctor hid it quickly in the pocket of his coat. Chanyeol looked down, cleared his throat and excused himself out of the room, leaving Sehun. He took a deep breath, something was really wrong.
 
Something that could even shake Chanyeol like that.
 
~~
 
Chanyeol hated himself. Chanyeol hated how he couldn’t do anything. He wanted to do something. He felt like he wasn’t doing anything to help Sehun. He felt like he should do something more.
 
When he sat down on his swivel chair, he took a deep breath. He looked down at the result of Sehun’s diagnosis. Something in his heart almost crumpled in pain. This couldn’t be… It had to work. It had to work on Sehun.
 
This was the reason why he had his golden rule.
 
After almost a month with Sehun, he couldn’t believe how easy it was for him to adore the guy. Despite being sick, Sehun was very sweet. But he always remind himself about what he should do.
 
He remembered his art portrait that Sehun drew. The latter didn’t know that he knew. He knew that Sehun drew him that night.
 
Chanyeol never wanted to complicate things. He wanted to stay in that lane that he created for him and Sehun. He would do his best to stay in that lane. No matter how attractive Sehun is. No matter how handsome he looks whenever he smiles. No matter how talented he is. And no matter how fast his heart would beat whenever he’s around Sehun, he had to stay on that lane.
 
And now this happened.
 
It was unfair.
 
For him. For Sehun. It was so unfair.
 
A knock came on his door. “Doctor?”
 
“Yes?” He looked up at the nurse by his door.
 
The nurse smiled sadly. “The family of Oh Sehun has arrived.”
 
For the first time in his life, Chanyeol hated his work.
 
~~
 
“One of the side effect of the stem cell transplant is the graft-versus-host disease,” Chanyeol explained to Sehun and his family. “It means that the reaction of Sehun’s body wasn’t good from the stem cell that was implanted to him. The medicine that could control this condition is the medicine that would reduce his immune system. It means that we need to keep him in a disinfected room here in the hospital for a few weeks or months depending on how his body would react.”
 
Sehun took a deep breath and smiled even though deep inside he felt like dying. When he thought everything was going all right, but he was then again wrong. He was back to the start.
 
‘It’s going to be like this forever and you know it, Sehun-ah.’
 
The test given to him took about two weeks for him. Once, he spotted Chanyeol on his room when he woke up that he immediately spoke to him. “Chanyeol…”
 
“Sehun, hey. How are you feeling?” The doctor smiled at him as he greeted.
 
“I’m much better now.” 'Liar'. He even tried to show a smile. “Chanyeol…”
 
Chanyeol was looking at the machine beside his bed. “Hmm?”
 
“Do you think it’s possible for me to be an off-patient?”
 
Doubt and worry were written all over the face of the doctor when he turned back to him. “Sehun… I’m… I’m not sure. It could be very dangerous for you.”
 
“Chanyeol, being in this hospital would make me sicker. I want to get out. Please.”
 
Sehun watched as Chanyeol bit his lip and looked down. When he looked up to him again, he showed a mandatory smile. “I’ll see what I could do. But we need to do more tests, okay?”
 
He got what he wanted after three weeks of tests. Sehun went back to his villa with Chanyeol even though he told him otherwise. The doctor just wouldn’t let him go without him.
 
The next few days flew like the wind. Most of the time, his family would visit him and stay there for days. His mom would nurse him every time Chanyeol needed to go back to the hospital. Sejun told him about his artworks that were sold in millions in an auction that their company held. Everything just to keep his mind off of things.
 
He also went back to drawing again but sadly, he couldn’t find the inspiration anymore. There were times that he would just sit there and stare at the blank canvass in front of him until he would feel sleepy.
 
When his mother’s birthday came, he was shocked that they decided to just have a simple dinner in his villa. He stared at the happy faces of his mother, father, brother and Chanyeol in front of him in the dining area. It was a perfect picture. It was like something he did not wish for, but it really made him happy.
 
“I’m glad you’re smiling,” Chanyeol noticed as they sat down in front of the terrace, currently looking at the night sky.
 
Sehun turned to him and showed a bigger smile. “I am happy. Being here with you makes me happy.”
 
Then Chanyeol reached out to his hand and held it gently. His voice was so soft when he answered, “Me too.”
 
For the first time, Sehun wished for the time to stop.
 
Two months. For two months, his life was at peace until Chanyeol came back to him after his check up. He was not smiling at all. His looked even more worried.
 
“I’m so sorry. I don’t think that the treatment was successful. Based on your recent results, there are still some active cancer cells that are showing.”
 
“But I feel okay now,” he started to protest.
 
Chanyeol gulped and looked down at his clipboard casually. “That’s just a temporary condition. The treatment we did lessen the active cells that’s why you feel better for now. But the indication that there are still cancer cells in your blood meant that it would worsen in the upcoming days. I’m really sorry.”
 
‘I told you. It would never work. It’s useless.’ The voice came back to his head. Something inside his chest tightened when he realized that the voice was right.
 
“So what’s our next option?” Sejun finally asked after a long moment of silence. His voice was unintentionally shaky. It was like he was trying his best not to sound desperate.
 
His favorite doctor shook his head. Sehun could see it in his eyes that he was also having a hard time. “Supposedly, our last resort would be the stem cell treatment but we cannot risk doing it again. His body may not be able to take it anymore especially after the last one. We can try to put him on some experimental pills that will slow down the growth of the disease.”
 
Sehun furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Slow down? Not cure?”
 
Chanyeol pretended to not hear him. “In this medication, we can expect to live maybe three months at most.”
 
His heart pounded so loud after hearing the words that Chanyeol said. Three months? He stared at the doctor in front of him. It was like Chanyeol was already giving him his death sentence.
 
“With proper medication, we can stretch it to six.”
 
He gave out a hysterical laugh that made Chanyeol look up to him, finally. “What can that possibly accomplish for me?”
 
A medicine that could lengthen his days but not really cure him. What could be funnier than that?
 
“Sometimes, we give this kind of medicine even just for a short time so that it could lengthen a life in the hope that it could get really a patient healed,” Chanyeol said like he was trying to persuade everyone of them.
 
Sejun pressed in a very low voice. “Are you saying that it’s our only hope now?”
 
The question hurt Sehun but answer hurt him even more.
 
Chanyeol took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes.”
 
“We’ll take it,” his father said.
 
“What?” Sehun turned to his father, anger growing inside of him. “Why? This is… This is useless, dad! I’d still be sick even with this medicine.”
 
“But it could also give us more days with you, Sehun-ah,” his mother spoke so soft. He looked at her and was a bit surprised when he saw that she was crying. She looked down and with a broken voice, continued. “Let’s just take it, okay?”
 
He clenched his jaw and turned to Chanyeol. He wanted to get mad at him. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this anymore.
 
Sehun was about to lash out to his favorite doctor, if only Chanyeol wasn’t crying with his head down too.
 
~~
 
Sehun would cling on to his dream just so he could stay sane, sadly. In his new private daydreams, he was laughing in the garden with Chanyeol beside him. They were holding hands. Chanyeol was wearing his favorite white shirt and blue jeans outfit. They were talking about their plans of getting married and how should they do it.
 
Should they announce it to the media?
 
Should they invite a lot of his fans?
 
Should they do it abroad?
 
Then they would talk about a lot of things. They would laugh about Chanyeol’s recent strict patient that Chanyeol wished he could transfer to someone else. They would laugh about the recent funny movie they watched in the theater. They would laugh about… all things that they found funny.
 
And in the end of the garden, he would see his family preparing a table full of food for everyone. They were complete. They were happy. They were accepted.
 
‘But all of that are just dreams… they would never happen.’
 
Sehun didn’t know why there was something inside him that was condemning. There were times that he wanted to be good to everyone. He wanted to be the same sweet Sehun that Chanyeol would always described him as. But it was getting harder and harder to pretend. Especially with the monsters rattling inside his head.
 
And there were times that he felt… pity. Pity to the people around him. The people who could possibly have a normal life if not only because of him. And most of the times, he felt like he needed to fight for them. But it was really hard. There were times, that it was already hard to rise up from the bed. He would feel dizzy all the time. There were times that he would just vomit all afternoon or sometimes he would feel that something was swirling inside his body.
 
He was getting frustrated.
 
One morning in the dining room, he stared at the pills that Chanyeol gave him. All the words he told him in the hospital returned to his head.
 
‘This pill wouldn’t heal you. It will just prolong your life.’ The monster inside his head was louder now. It was like the monster was just beside him, chatting like a common friend. ‘What’s the use of that, right? It will just prolong everything. Prolong those terrible treatments. Prolong your stay in the hospital. And prolong the pain of everyone. Your mother and your father. Your brother. Even Chanyeol. And you. More days for you to live, more pain will be inflicted. You know that, Sehun-ah. You’ve known it a long time ago.’
 
So with that bitter feeling his heart, Sehun stood up. He looked and checked if Chanyeol was around. When he found out that the doctor was in his room, Sehun walked to the front yard. The cold wind and the large fountain welcomed him. He wrapped himself to lessen the cold.
 
Slowly, Sehun approached the fountain and held the pill so tightly in his hand. He looked at the swimming fishes below and then turned to the colored pill. His mind was working on so many things but a voice was so clear to him.
 
‘Do it. That’s just useless.’
 
With the PLOP!, Sehun watched as the medicine slowly fall down to the water, joining the fishes.
 
~~
 
“Thank you, doctor,” the female patient smiled and bowed at Chanyeol after her check up. She was his last patient for the day. He planned to take a half day for today so he could go back to Seongdong.
 
When he walked back to his office after his last appointment, he was surprised to see Dr. Kim in the hallways. He was back to his work. He looked almost just as the same, but happier.
 
“Doctor Kim,” he greeted with a smile.
 
Dr. Kim smiled back at him. “Wow, Chanyeol, it’s been a long time. How are you?”
 
“I’m fine, a little tired. How about you, Doc? How’s life as a parent?”
 
“Ah! Very tiring! My wife’s been nagging about me not knowing how to prepare the baby’s milk. She told me that I’m supposed to be a doctor so I should know it, like all doctor was supposed to. Tss. But all in all, it was perfect. So what’s your appointment today?”
 
“Oh, I took a half day today.”
 
The senior doctor wrinkled his eyebrows. “Why?”
 
“I’ll visit Sehun in his villa today.”
 
The doctor’s face sadden a little bit. “Oh Sehun, huh. I really couldn’t believe about his results. I almost thought that the last treatment would be enough.”
 
Chanyeol thought so too but he didn’t say that. These past few days with Sehun was becoming dark. It felt like something was bothering his favorite patient. He didn’t know what. Sehun was becoming somehow distant to him after his last check up.

There were times that he couldn’t help but cry too after that. He felt like all of heavy things inside his chest were all piled up and he needed to let it all out.

It pained him a lot whenever he saw Sehun in pain. It pained him a lot there was nothing he could but watch. He wanted to take the pain away but he was all out of options.
 
“Well, do you want me take care of him? I didn’t know you do house calls.”
 
He smiled a bit and shook his head. “No. I’m not visiting as a doctor.”
 
Confusion was all over Dr. Kim’s face then he smiled. “I see. I see. So, I didn’t know you had this in you, Chanyeol. For all I thought you always had that invisible barrier with your patients.”
 
Chanyeol blushed from that statement. Sehun was different from all the other patients he had. He will always be different.
 
After that conversation with Dr. Kim, Chanyeol drove silently to Seongdong. All throughout the drive, his thoughts were on Dr. Kim’s statement about him and Sehun.
 
If he would tell his old self that he was like this now, his old self wouldn’t believe it. Doctor Kim was right, he never thought he had it in him. After his mother’s death, he knew how it felt to be left behind by someone who has this kind of condition. He knew the kind of pain. He knew the emptiness he felt.
 
So why is he still doing this?
 
Sehun doesn’t need him anymore. He already got the medicine he recommended for him to take. His job was literally done. So why does he need to take a half day from his work and still go to his favorite patient?
 
Maybe because Sehun was different, just like he thought earlier.
 
He was different in the sense that, he was more hands-on with Sehun. He was closer to him. Sehun was still that same force that always pull him closer. That no matter how much he tried to remind himself, he would always lose.
 
He made a turn to the road to Sehun’s villa. The beautiful garden and the large fountain were already seen even from far away. The whole place was filled with sunny vibes, orange and red leaves were becoming more vibrant.
 
Chanyeol spotted Sehun sitting in his terrace watching the view of it all. He immediately parked his car once he entered the big gates and went inside the villa. The maids welcomed him like he was already part of the household and reported to him about Sehun’s condition.
 
The maids said that Sehun woke up very early and watched the sunrise in the terrace. He didn’t eat much food but he was able to take his medicine, which was a relief for him.
 
“Hey,” he greeted Sehun when he saw him. “How are you feeling?”
 
Sehun gave him a weak smile that somehow bothered him. “I’m fine. What are you doing here?”
 
Chanyeol didn’t know why his heart tightened at the question. “I’m here to see you, of course. I’m always worried about you. Come on, let’s eat lunch.”
 
“Chanyeol, there’s no need to worry. I’m doing fine now. And besides, you’re done with your post to me.”
 
His eyebrows crunched together. “Are you trying to shoo me away, Sehun-ah?”
 
The man beside him chuckled. “Does it sound like that? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I just wanted you to focus on more important things than this.”
 
“What are you trying to say?” his voice sounded higher when he asked this.
 
More important things? Than Sehun? This was making him so angry. What could be more important than Sehun?
 
Sehun looked at him, quite surprised at his blowup. Chanyeol watched him as his own chest heaved, trying to calm himself. But the fact that Sehun’s eyes were red surprised him too.
 
He took a step closer and held the pale hand of Sehun. And even with the sunny weather around them, his hand still felt cold. “What do you mean by that, huh? Sehun? Are you saying you’re not important?”
 
“No,” his voice was low and then followed by long silence. Sehun looked up at him with a sad smile. “I wish could answer you that.”
 
Chanyeol couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He walked out fast as he could and went downstairs. His heart was beating so fast from the anger he was feeling. He couldn’t believe it! Sehun actually said that! Oh Sehun!
 
He stopped in front of the large fountain and took a deeper breath.
 
He knew that depression was normal for someone who’s having this kind of sickness. Especially in Sehun’s condition. He wanted to hate himself for ever thinking that Sehun would never thought of it. He should have been more vigilant! He should have been more caring! He should have talked more about his feelings!  He should have… He should have… He should have stopped constraining his own feelings and thought about Sehun!
 
Chanyeol was so careful about the growing emotion inside him that he actually forgot about what Sehun would feel!
 
He was not just a mere doctor for Sehun! He was also his friend! A special someone to Sehun!
 
How could he let that happen? What should he do this time?
 
Trying to arrange his thoughts, he took another deep breath and looked down at the water splashing in the fountain subconsciously. His eyes followed the water until he noticed a familiar colored dot. It was so obvious because it was very different from the brown-colored floor of the fountain.
 
His eyebrows crunched together and his heart beat faster than before as he reached down that dot, not minding being wet. His eyes widened when he pulled up and stared at the small pill in his hand. Even though most of the parts of it was already melted, Chanyeol knew what exactly it was.
 
He reached down again and found another pill. And another. Until he could already count almost ten pills in his hands.
 
All of it was Sehun’s medicine.
 
Chanyeol held the pills so tightly his hand shivered, staring at it with so much contempt then ran back inside the villa. He needed to check something with his favorite patient.
 
~~
 
Sehun found himself waking up. When he saw the fluorescent light shining down on him, he concluded that it was already night time. He closed his eyes twice so it would stop blinding him. Then he slowly sat up on his bed.
 
What happened earlier flashed back on his mind, he took a deep breath. Chanyeol walked out on him and he went to his room to cry.
 
Then he remembered his conversation with him, he felt his heart ached once again.
 
He never meant it to sound like he was pushing the doctor away. He was happy with his presence. He felt at peace whenever Chanyeol was around. But he knew somewhere in his heart that it wouldn’t last long.
 
He wanted to end it right away. The sooner it would end, the little pain they would all feel.
 
When he saw something move beside him, he was shocked to see Chanyeol sitting down in the one-seater sofa in his room. He was watching him intently, as if he was there the whole time.
 
“Chanyeol,” he removed himself from the bed while Chanyeol stayed where he was. For a moment, he thought that the doctor went back to Seoul. “You’re still here. Did you eat dinner already?”
 
“I already had dinner.”
 
Sehun walked to the door carefully. He was still wearing the same clothes he had on earlier. “Oh, I guess I should eat alone then. Did the maids prepare something for me? Perhaps a salad, maybe?”
 
“It’s not dinnertime anymore, Sehun. It’s four in the morning already.”
 
He froze on his spot then turned to the wall clock. Chanyeol was right, it was past four in the morning already. His heart started to beat anxiously.
 
“I’m sorry,” he said it almost in a whisper.
 
“What are you really sorry for, Sehun?”
 
Sehun slowly turned back to Chanyeol, who he now realized was looking at him darkly, eyes piercing straight through him. “What do you mean?”
 
“Are you sorry because you skipped dinner or are you sorry because you know why that’s happening to you?” Chanyeol asked like a venom was dripping from his voice.
 
This was the first time he saw Chanyeol so angry that it surprised him so much. So surprised that he wasn’t able to answer his question. Even though he didn’t know how. “What are you talking about?”
 
He flinched when Chanyeol suddenly stood up and threw something on the floor. He felt like his whole being went cold with what he saw. Those were the medicines that he was supposed to take. The medicines that he secretly threw. The pills bounced a lot of times in front of him. He looked down at it, wondering how Chanyeol found those.
 
Sehun felt a pair of hands holding his arms. He looked up at his doctor, face to face. His heart broke when he saw the wounded expression in front of him. A tear fell from Chanyeol’s beautiful eyes that made Sehun look down again.
 
With a hoarse voice, Chanyeol finally asked, “Why are you doing this? Sehun? Why are you not taking your medicine? Do you want to die?”
 
“Yes!” Sehun yelled, along with the monsters inside his head. Cheering for him, encouraging him. It was like his string has finally broke. He pushed Chanyeol away from him and yelled all his frustrations away. “Yes! I want to die! I want it to end, Chanyeol! I want this to end!”
 
Followed by a loud sob that released from his throat and a waterfall of tears from his eyes. He immediately covered his face with his two hands. Somehow a part of him felt heavy after that. It was like someone threw a big rock on him that made him stumble weakly.
 
But then Chanyeol also looked like all his energy was drained after Sehun’s outburst. He closed his eyes, making more tears visible. “Why?”
 
“What do you mean ‘why’?”
 
“Why do you want to end this?”
 
Sehun cried more tears and shook his head. He hated explaining the things in his head. It was too difficult. Too complicated. Too sad. “Why do you even care? What is it to you? Aren’t I just a mere pa--”
 
His mind went blank when Chanyeol went and attacked him with a deep and surprising kiss. Sehun blinked at the image in front of him. All the voices inside his head suddenly went silent. All his thoughts were jumbled. All he could see was Chanyeol… kissing him.
 
If it was possible for his heart to beat faster than before, it did. It was like it was trying to get out of his chest. It seemed so unreal. He couldn’t believe that the love of his life was actually kissing him in that moment.

“Do you even know how hard it is for me? To see you like this? To see you in pain? I want to make you feel better. I want to make you okay. And it hurts me that even though I did everything I could, it just wouldn’t work. But that didn’t stop me. All I thought was that, as long as you’re with me, it’s okay. It’s okay because you’re there. I can still see you. I can still see you smile. I can still see you do your things. That’s what matters. That’s what makes me happy right now,” Chanyeol’s voice croaked as he spoke the last sentence then dived for another kiss.
 
He felt Chanyeol’s hands at the sides of his face, holding him in place. A tongue went inside his mouth and started tasting him. He didn’t know how to react with everything.
 
“So I don’t want to end this, Sehun. Because I love you. I love you so much.” Chanyeol said when the kiss was over. “Don’t leave me please. Be with me.”
 
Sehun stared at the handsome face, not knowing what to do. The words didn’t process to him fast that he had to pinch his hand to bring back his thoughts. “I thought you don’t feel the same way?”
 
His favorite doctor gave out a small smile and leaned his forehead on his. Eyes almost an inch away from each other, they stared and in a low voice Chanyeol replied. “I thought so too.”
 
Chanyeol cleared his throat and took a breath before continuing. “Listen to me very carefully, Sehun. If you think that you’re body couldn’t take it anymore. If it hurt so much already, I could accept it. I could let you go that way. But if you feel like giving up because you feel alone and lonely, I will tell you this: you are not alone. You have your family. You have Sejun. Your parents. They may not say it as much, but they love you. They’re here because they love you. They came back because they love you. And you have… You have me. I love you, Oh Sehun. I may have hurt your heart from the beginning because I was also confused with my feelings. But I’m over that phase now. I’m here now. I love you so much. I come back here every damn time because I love you and I want to see you. You are not just a mere patient to me. You are special. So special in my heart.”

“But I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to make your life so hard. You could love anyone healthier than me. You could love someone who can make your life easier.”

Chanyeol shook his head. “I don’t want that. Sehun, I don’t care. I don’t care if it’s a hard life with you. Because I can take more and more pain and hardships as long as you’re with me. As long as I could see you smile.”
 
Sehun’s heart swelled so much with too much emotions all at once. He didn’t know what to say next so he just remained staring. He scanned Chanyeol’s face, memorizing every detail in his head. A bit slithery hair, red eyes, puffy lips and tear-stained blushing cheeks. He appeared stressed and obviously has a lack of sleep. But for Sehun, he had never looked more handsome. Because in front of him was the Chanyeol that confessed his love to him. That gave his first ever kiss to him. That gave his whole heart to him.
 
He will never forget that Chanyeol. He will treasure that Chanyeol.
 
Chanyeol showed another smile then leaned down to capture his lips once again, this time slower. Almost as if he was taking his time and savoring him. And this time, Sehun didn’t hesitate to kiss back. To give back.
 
He closed his eyes and concentrated on that feeling. It was so beautiful but so indescribable. He could go on for days but still think about it.
 
Miraculously, the monsters in his head were suddenly gone. Not even a whisper was heard. He wasn’t sure why but he was thankful. He was thankful that he never had to hear them again. He didn’t want to hear them again.
 
“Do you know that even cancer patients can make love?” Chanyeol whispered when his lips landed on Sehun’s neck.
 
“What?”
 
The sensation was too much for Sehun that he felt weak when Chanyeol put him back down to his bed. He kissed him downwards, ing his clothes. “Do you love me, Sehun?”
 
“Yes,” Sehun didn’t recognize his own voice already. It sounded like screech of a cat.
 
Chanyeol then smirked and continued kissing him downwards. “Good, since were on the mutual level this is going to be very easy for us.”
 
A moan came out from Sehun when he felt Chanyeol held him there. “D-do you even k-know how to do this?”
 
“Hmmm, I had a lot research,” the doctor replied and looked up to him with a playful wink. “Wait until you see my performance.”
 
Sehun’s face went crimson red but deep inside he was not only excited. He was not scared anymore. He was ready.
 
~~
 
Chanyeol woke up feeling great even though his head was aching from the lack of sleep. And a bit sore from the activity they did. He smirked in his thoughts. What happened earlier was the happiest moment of his life. He never felt so happy, fulfilled and content before. Sehun really made him all that.

He checked the man beside him but he was surprised to see that Sehun wasn’t in the bed anymore. He quickly wore his clothes and made his way to the terrace, where Sehun usually stays.

“Sehun?” He called halfway but stopped in his tracks. Blood suddenly drained from him when he saw Sehun on the floor of the terrace, unconscious. “Sehun!”

He quickly checked his temperature and found out that Sehun was high with fever. His heart was pounding so fast, very nervous and scared but was trying to keep his mind straight. He called the maids to bring in the emergency kit hurriedly. He also told them to call the driver.

On the way to the hospital, Chanyeol immediately did a first aid to Sehun even though his hands were shaking. He looked at the pale unconscious face of his lover, almost choking back a sob. Sehun needed him right now. He should do his job correctly.

Thankfully when they arrived in the hospital, Dr. Kim was already waiting for them in the entrance. The nurses carefully placed Sehun in the hospital trolley and started pushing while giving him an oxygen. The senior doctor turned to him, catching a glimpse of his shaking. “Let me take it from here. You can’t go on a surgery like this. Let me handle it. I’ll take care of Sehun.”

Chanyeol realized he was right. He took one last look of his lover and slowly let go, watching the staff pushing him to enter the designated facility. He sat down in the chairs in front of the ICU and took a deep breath. He tried to calm his nerves down but his heart was still panicking.

He leaned his head down, elbows resting on his thighs and clasped his hands together. He almost prayed to all the deities he knew. ‘I want to believe that I want him to go and rest if he’s hurting already. But my heart... my heart still wouldn’t. Please, give him more strength to fight. I want a forever with him. But I could settle for years, months and or even days. I want more time. I want more memories. I want more of him. I love him so much. Please, not yet...’

“Doctor Park?” Chanyeol lifted his head up and saw Sejun and the parents of Sehun running towards him. They all looked frantic with worry. “What... what happened? How’s Sehun-hyung?”

Chanyeol tried his best to steady his voice while explaining. Sehun’s family looked heartbroken at his story. “I was really planning to bring him back to the hospital to check him up. But earlier I found him unconscious in the terrace...”

They waited for the operation to finish for almost an hour. He never thought that he would feel this way again. He never thought he would be on the other side of the room, waiting for a result he never knew.

But all in all, the only thing he wished for in the moment is to see Sehun go out of that room with the smile on his face. The smile that he will always love to see.

He immediately stood up when Dr. Kim went out of the ICU to update them. “Fever is a way for our bodies to fight infection, this only means that Sehun’s body is fighting.”

Chanyeol didn’t know where his sanity went. He kept pacing around the whole time, wishing that he could just barge inside and check what was happening. Sehun’s family were sitting down on the chairs quietly, praying for good news.

When the door opened once again, Dr. Kim smiled at him. “The fever is gone..”

He gave out a huge sigh of relief from that. He even caught Sejun glancing at him curiously.

“We just needed to observe him for a moment then tomorrow were going to give some tests. Then after that we can transfer him to a regular room.”

“Thank you, doctor,” he answered.

The senior doctor smiled at him and went back inside the room.

Chanyeol took another deep breath and clasped his shivering hands. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked and saw Sehun’s mother giving him a reassuring smile. “He’s going to be alright, doctor.”

He suddenly blushed so hard when he realized what he has been doing. He was more nervous than Sehun’s family that they were the one comforting him rather than the other way around.

He glanced at Sejun who was showing him a teasing smirk then glanced to his parents. “Looks like were going to have a new member in the family.”

The old couple chuckled but Chanyeol’s face went redder after that.

They all waited for Sehun in his room after his tests. Chanyeol never felt so relieved after seeing Sehun’s huge smile. When he was placed on the bed, the nurses told them that he just needed to rest for a moment.

Chanyeol saw Sehun motioning for him to come near. “What is it? Do you feel something?”

“Yeah, come closer.” Sehun’s voice was still hoarse.

Chanyeol did as what he was told. He was standing just beside Sehun when the latter pulled his hand close and sealed him with a kiss on the lips.

The kiss was so unexpected that he froze for a moment but later on gave in. He realized he didn’t care about anything else, just as long as he could still kiss Sehun like this.

“I love you,” Sehun whispered to him then smiled. “Thank god, I could still tell you that.”

Chanyeol finally let go of his tears. He finally let out the feelings he had been holding on. “I love you too.”

The smile that Sehun showed to him made him feel that everything was worth it. Sehun reached out to his cheeks and wiped his tears away. He glanced at the people on the room. “I want to go home. I want to celebrate.”

“Let’s celebrate.”

~~

“My dad likes you,” Sehun heard Chanyeol from behind. They were back in the park having a picnic with their families. Sehun was standing at the edge of the river, watching the beautiful view. Meanwhile the rest of them were busy strolling around.

He gave a smirk to his boyfriend. “I’m a gem, completely effortless.”

Chanyeol chucked then hugged him from behind, placing his chin on Sehun’s wide shoulder. “Arrogant.”

“Confident,” he corrected him then held the huge hands that was wrapped around him. He played with his long fingers. “You never told me that your father knew you were gay.”

“Hmm?” Chanyeol responded. “It was a late confession but he had doubts since then.”

There was a long silence after that but it was so perfect for Sehun. Everything was so peaceful. It has been four months since they started dating but everything still felt brand new for him. They still go back to the hospital every now and then for his check ups but aside from that, everything was going smooth. He also took his medicine more religiously now, especially that his boyfriend was there to remind him.

Doctor Kim told him that it was impressive that the medicine was really working for him. To be able to live months after that was already a miracle.

He felt Chanyeol behind him hugged him tighter. “The view would look more perfect if there are kids playing around.”

Sehun grinned. “Yeah, they would be so noisy and very hard to control. Then you’ll pick them up and play with them in the dirt.”

“Then you’ll get mad at me because I got them all dirty. Then you’ll spoil them more than I do.”

“Really?” Sehun glanced at him, eyebrows crunched together. “I feel like you’ll be the one spoiling them and I’d reprimand you for being too much.”

“So you’re the strict one in the family, huh?” Chanyeol pressed his nose on Sehun’s cheek carefully. “Our kids would be scared of you. Even I’ll be scared of you for sure.”

Sehun slightly slapped his hand then rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

Another long peaceful silence. Sehun smiled when he could hear his own heart beating fast. Then he felt another move from Chanyeol.

“Maybe before we start thinking about adopting kids, we should get married first,” Chanyeol whispered into his ears. “Will you marry this die-hard fanboy of yours, huh, Sehun?”

He was so surprised that he slightly turned to him. “Doctor Kim haven’t...”

Chanyeol gave him the look that made Sehun’s heart skipped a beat. “Do we even need a permission to get married, Sehun? You used to value about your dreams. Can we turn those dreams into reality now?”

Sehun stared at the handsome man in front of him, then to the beautiful view. The setting sun, the tall trees, the clear waters of the river and the fresh smell of the forest. He had never thought that the day would come.

His eyes went back to Chanyeol. “Let’s get married,” he said, smiling at him with all the love he have for this man.

His dream finally turned to reality.