Jiwoo knows herself.

She knows that the campus has given her the reputation of being a bright, energetic girl who likes to speak her mind through loud, passionate rants and has trouble keeping still during long lectures. This image has graced her with the ability to approach anyone and everyone at university without being turned away with judgemental glares (they're still judgemental, but in a more curious manner) and disinterested waves of the hand. In fact, she's almost sure that if she were to announce that she needed help with some of the material that they have to know, there will be a line of people tripping over one another to help her out.

The problem that people face is that they greatly underestimate her.

No one would expect friendly, bubbly, Kim Jiwoo to take advantage of her peers in order to benefit her student cred.

(It's not in a malicious manner - mostly she just plays up her charm when she really doesn't want to do something that she feels will bore the living daylights out of her, or when she really needs to - but whenever she manages to trick one of her acquaintances (read: male fanatics) into giving her the answers, she always feel like she's the worst human being on earth.)

Jiwoo doesn't know what to make of the image.

After getting out of high school, she had promised herself that university would be different. Gone would be the baby fat on her cheeks ("How can you not squish them?" Yerim had asked when Jiwoo told her to stop) and the soft make-up that made her look like a thirteen-year-old. She wanted to be grown-up and look like a woman rather than the teenager that spent her time in noraebangs, eating snacks with her friends and singing her heart out over cheesy, childish songs, no matter how much Jungeun tells her that it's in her DNA to be that person.

But from the get-go, she had accidentally grinned too wide at one of the other students when they had helped her find the way to her class, and then rumors had spread of her being 'cute' and 'friendly' and 'innocent' and people were expecting her to be the epitome of happiness.

Jiwoo had been reluctant at first (she had indeed gone into a mini-depression phase, which had required Jungeun to shyly ask for the rest of the Moon Dorm residents' help in getting her out of her slump - her best friend still holds that against her, to which she replies with "but that made us closer to the other girls for the first time!") but she eventually grew to see the positives of her image:

She doesn't have to try too hard for a first impression, because everyone already knows and likes her from the get go.

People are willing to be stepped on if it makes her smile (she's literally overheard a conversation between first years saying: "I wouldn't mind having Kim Jiwoo step on me" followed by a, "Dude, me too!").

She can float around campus without a care in the world.

Really, after accepting her character with open arms and the trademark smile that made even some of the female students swoon, Jiwoo found herself gaining confidence in her still chubby cheeks and soft make-up. She even dresses in girly clothes and putting flowers in her hair, just because she secretly enjoys being dubbed as the 'innocent' girl.

The only problems that come with this image, Jiwoo thinks, is the way it transgresses into her dorm.

"Jiwoo-yah, come give me a hug." Haseul will randomly tug her into one of her bear-hugs in the middle of a serious conversation and squeeze her arms around her tight as she nuzzles their heads together. It's easy to push the mild irritation at being babied when she's being cuddled (which is her favorite thing in the world).

"Baby~" Jinsoul will call her as Jiwoo throws herself onto the couch and effectively landing on the older girl, her hands wraping around to hold her like a newborn. (This one Jiwoo knows isn't really valid, since the blonde has a bad habit of calling all the girls 'Baby', but she still feels like a three-year-old whenever she gets called that.)

"Aw, you're so cute~" Vivi will gently cup her puffy face with her hands as she's messily eating her breakfast and hold it like it's the most precious thing in the world. Which Jiwoo does not understand because she just woke up five minutes ago and she caught her reflection in the mirror (her bangs had been pulled up to reveal her wide forehead due to her habit of sliding her face down her bed in her sleep and she's pretty sure there was a bit of drool on the collar of her shirt).

She's just about had enough when she's in the kitchen, trying to get to her pink mug to make herself a cup of much-needed coffee while cursing out whoever had the brilliant idea of placing it there, and Hyejoo comes up behind her. The younger girl easily reaches up (she still has to go on her tip-toes, but she can access the top shelf far more easily than she can) and grabs a hold of her mug for her. "Here you go." Jiwoo will pout at her, saying a reluctant 'thanks'. "Maybe you should be the one calling me 'Unnie'."

(Jiwoo tells her to go back to her video games while Hyejoo just chuckles at her.)

It's not fair.

Jungeun and her are the same age - they grew up together - Jiwoo can still remember when her best friend had the same amount of baby fat as she did.

So how did Jungeun grow out of it so quickly and leave her behind?

"Don't worry Jiwoo-yah," Jungeun assures her as she carelessly ties her hair up into a high-ponytail (even that looks hot, what the ), "you're adorable. Everyone loves that about you."

Jiwoo whines at her best friend, who looks mature and hot and womanly in her work out clothes. "I don't wanna be adorable!" They've had this conversation before, when Jiwoo had insisted on trying to diet and go to the gym but had barely even lasted a week (just like her best friend had predicted, much to her dismay). "I wanna be y! I wanna be able to go buy some beer without being forced to show my ID!"

Jungeun rolls her eyes slightly, already used to all of her whining. "Jiwoo, I think the day you'll be 'y' is the day Yeojin actually grows taller than five feet-"

"Are you guys talking about me?!"

"-No! Just go back to watching your Tellitubies! Anyway, what I'm saying is-" Jungeun leans down to grab a hold of her trainers amongst the mountain of shoes that accumulate beside the door, and Jiwoo can't help but glare enviously at the way her looks great in those leggings. "-the day you become y is the day that the world ends." Jiwoo scowls, offended at the implication that she'll never be able to be mature, but it seems like Jungeun has noticed that she's said something that hurt her because she's quick to grab her by the face and squeeze her cheeks together. "But that's what makes you who you are, Woo. And I love who you are, so you should too."

Jiwoo just pouts at her best friend, most likely looking more childish with the way her cheeks are pushed together. "Yeah, love you too..." She says reluctantly when Jungeun pushes her face away, going back to putting her shoes on.

"Hey, look," Jungeun pulls at her bag on the floor, throwing it on her back casually, "if you want, when I get back we can go on Instagram and stalk that crush of yours - what was his name again?"

"Taehyung-oppa?"

"Yeah, him - and then we can snoop through his life to see if he has a girlfriend or not-"

"Wait, I don't like him like that!"

"Mhm, sure." Jungeun smirks at her, with her red gloss on her lips, and Jiwoo has half the mind to punch her stomach. "Anyways, I'll even get you ice-cream and everything - strawberry?"

"I'm craving salted caramel."

"Yup, so I'll have to stop by the store... Ya! Kim Hyunjin! Let's go! Anything else you're craving?" Jungeun turns to her, hand already pulling the door open.

Jiwoo knows that she shouldn't be eating too much, but the offer is too tempting to refuse, so with a tiny voice she says, "Can you get chocolate bread?"

Jungeun nods nonchalantly, scrolling through her phone. The sunlight from outside is shining on her angular face, and Jiwoo just watches it accent all of her features perfectly. "Kim Hyunjn, I swear to god!" She doesn't even flinch when the other girl practically screams into the dorm, already used to the loud volume of a day in the life of the Moon Dorm. "Can I remind you that we're taking the bus?!"

"I'm coming!" They hear a frustrated Hyunjin call back from the dorm, already storming across the living room where Yeojin is doing her homework and hissing under her breath. "'s sake, can I not get my together for one - hot - second..."

"What was that?" Jungeun taunts when the younger girl brushes past her to leave the dorm, still trying to shrug on her hoodie. She waves a quick 'bye' to Jiwoo before following after Hyunjin.

Jiwoo watches them leave down the steps, Jungeun automatically moving to hold Hyunjin's bag for her in order to help while the younger girl starts talking about something or other. Their dynamic is different to Jungeun's and Jiwoo's, in the sense where they're more like teammates who like to get competitive with one another and aren't afraid to be upfront verbally - even if it's going to hurt someone because of it. She has to admit that it's entertaining watching them interact, but she can't help feel jealous over their mature appearances.

"Jiwoo-unnie! Can you help me with my homework?"

Jiwoo sighs, closing the door and gliding back to where Yeojin sits in front of the cofee table. At least she can still treat Yeojin like a baby, she thinks as she smiles softly at her and pats her head.

-

Jiwoo catches Sooyoung just as she's about to leave the dorm, looking as fashionable as always in an off-shoulder top, long pants and high heels.

"Unnie! Wait, are you going to campus?" She asks, still hopping through the living room as she tries to put on her flats. The pastel pink dress she's wearing flutters around her, and she does her best not to fall flat on her face in an attempt to reach the older girl before she leaves for good.

Sooyoung looks up from her phone screen, looking at her with a bored expression, before shoving the device into her purse. "I guess I am," she says nonchalantly, reaching out to steady her by the forearm as she reaches the doorway, "why? Do you need an ?"

Rolling her eyes, Jiwoo shoves her away before checking her appearance in the mirror Vivi set up beside the door. Her appearance is soft and innocent as always, but she doesn't mind because she's going to go to her class and try to befriend that shy looking boy who looks like he gets good grades (not for any ulterior motives or anything). "I don't need an , Unnie, but if you insist I guess I'll just have to take you up on the offer."

Instead of saying anything, Sooyoung just sighs and begins to step out of the door, leaving it open for her. She quickly follows after her, closing the door hastily before bounding down the steps in her haste not be left behind by the seemingly determined girl.

As they begin to walk side by side down the road, the sun shining brightly and the blue skies clear from any stray clouds, Jiwoo observes Sooyoung's appearance more closely.

It's not unusual to see the older girl dressed up so nice, seeing as her wardrobe tends to be full of the most recent fashion trends and sponsored by the clothing brand that she models for. But today she looks a little nicer: there is a slight touch to her make-up that seperates this Sooyoung from the Sooyoung that walks around in their dorm bare-faced, the tint on her lips a shade darker than usual and the eyeliner on her eyes applied a little more heavily. She's wearing simple, elegant earrings that hang from her pierced ears and dangle in her straightened hair, and it makes her look all that much more expensive.

Jiwoo tilts her head curiously. "Unnie, are you going on a date?"

Sooyoung startles for a second, looking at her with wide eyes before she calms considerably. "I wouldn't call it that." Jiwoo notices the thoughtful look in her eyes and wonders what exactly the older girl gets up to whenever she's not in the dorm (she will usually leave with a short, "I'm heading out" or a "it's work" to serve as an explanation). "But yes, I am meeting someone."

"Ooh~" Jiwoo playfully cuddles up to the older girl's side, looking up at her with wide eyes. "Is it that handsome man from Friday night?"

As she had been walking back home from a night out with her friends, she had seen Sooyoung talking to a man nearby their dorm. He had been wearing a black tuxedo, with the buttons of his dress shirt slightly unbottoned so it revealed some skin on his chest. His hair had been gelled back into a neat, presentable hairstyle that revealed his handsome, mature face and sharp eyes that could make anyone fall to his feet. Sooyoung had been dressed in her usual, elegant attire that she wore whenever she went outside (a stark contrast to the casual clothing she wore in the dorm) and had been looking up at him with a troubled expression. But when she had seen Jiwoo approaching, she quickly bid farewell to the man and walked towards her.

The look that appears on the older girl's face is close to a grimace, like she doesn't like to think about the man at all. "I thought I told you to forget about him." She says coldly, eyes searching the street.

Jiwoo pouts at Sooyoung. "Why? He's very handsome." When she says nothing in response to that (in fact, she acts like she hasn't even heard her) Jiwoo charges on. "I think you and him would make a very nice couple, if you are dating, because he looks like he's rich and powerful and you look like you came straight out of a magazine 24/7 so it'd be like a celebrity couple, you know? In fact, I'm sure that your sister would be very happy to hear about you dating-"

"Jiwoo." Sooyoung warns, glaring at her from the corner of her eye.

Putting her hands up as a sign of peace, Jiwoo continues talking. "All I'm saying is that if you do decide to date, I'd support you." The words seem to be going into one ear and out the other as Sooyoung keeps walking like she doesn't have someone beside her. It makes Jiwoo a little frustrated, but then again, the older girl has always been sensitive to talk about personal topics. "Haseul-unnie has a boyfriend, and that doesn't change anything for us at the dorm. We still love her and she still loves us - honestly I'm kinda surprised that she stays at home so frequently, but who am I to judge? And Jinsoul-unnie goes out on all those blind dates, but we still cheer her on and help her choose her outfits because god knows that she's not very good with fashion... and even Jungeun has been flirting with that guy from dance class-"

"What are you trying to do here, Jiwoo-yah?" Sooyoung interrupts, an unreadable look on her face.

It takes her a little by surprise, because she hasn't seen this expression on the older girl's face since before she started warming up to them, when she was still rude and made it apparent that she didn't want to be there at all. But she supposes that she has kind of been pushing the sensitive topic a little too much, so she decides to take a different approach.

"We just want you to be happy, Unnie." She says, and the truth to the words show in the sincerity of her tone. "I just want you to be happy. I still haven't told anyone about... you know, but after everything that you've been through, I think you deserve a little happiness."

Sooyoung seems to mull over the words for a while, quietly looking up at the bright, green leaves of the trees shading their path for them. "And you think I'll find it in... love?"

Jiwoo blinks. To be honest, she'd kind of been expecting Sooyoung to brush her off and change the topic, but instead she's indulging in it a little more and she's just letting the moment slip away... "Yeah, of course!" She hastily says, trying to remain positive. "Love makes people happy."

"Jiwoo, do I have to remind you that the reason why I was unhappy in the first place was because of love?" Sooyoung deadpans, looking slightly amused at her suggestion like it's the most absurd thing she's ever heard.

She gapes a little, at loss for words. "Y-yeah, but that was..."

Sooyoung stops abruptly. Jiwoo's slightly surprised, but then dread fills her when she realises that she's cut the wrong wire. "That was different? Invalid?" Jiwoo presses her lips shut, trying to keep her place as the older girl takes a step closer to her, her height looming over her thanks to her heels that she's wearing and making her tilt her head a little so she can maintain eye contact. "Do you think that just because the... conditions were slightly different, it didn't make it love? That what I had was just some... childish thing?" The dark smirk that forms on Sooyoung's dark lips makes goosebumps rise on Jiwoo's skin, and she just tries not to cower in fear as the taller girl leans closer to her, her breath brushing against her skin as she talks lowly. "What is love, Jiwoo?"

When she started this conversation, she hadn't been intending for it to go down this route (in fact, she was pretty sure that neither of them ever wanted to mention what had happened that night) and now that she's here, she can't help but feel that weird feeling whenever she thinks about it inside of her. Does it make her a bad person?

"How naive..." Sooyoung chuckles, leaning back into her own space (Jiwoo lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding). She starts walking again, still looking as purposeful as she did when they left the dorm, but this time Jiwoo isn't as eager to follow her. "Hey, you seem to know a lot about love. Have you ever even kissed someone?"

Jiwoo can't help but take offense to the question and what it's implying, so she gasps and glares at the older girl. "O-of course I have!" Her cheeks are beginning to burn from where this conversation is going, and she can't help but stay a couple of steps behind Sooyoung in order to keep her dignity. "Do you not remember Seokwoo?"

Sooyoung glances at her with a surprised look on her face, her eyebrows tugging up in disbelief. "Him? I wouldn't have been expecting that."

"Why not?" She rushes to catch up to the other girl, her pride a little hurt.

"Didn't you spend a week crying over him because he wouldn't see you as anything other than innocent?" Sooyoung blatantly says, and Jiwoo feels her heart ache at the reminder. The older girl has always been harsh with her words, letting them out without a care in the world as to if it will hurt someone or not. Jiwoo had thought that she was used to it, but apparently not.

"I'm not just innocent!" She says shakily, her voice almost breaking under the weight of the sudden emotions that rush through her. "I'm twenty, I'm not some child that can't take care of herself."

At that, Sooyoung seems to realise that she's hurt her and softens considerably, her eyes showing that familiar kindness that she's grown fond of over their time in the Moon Dorm. "I never said that." When the tears don't leave her eyes, Sooyoung slips her hand into hers and tugs her closer. "Jiwoo, you know that I don't see you as a child - much less as someone innocent after I caught you watching -"

"Unnie! You said we'd never talk about that!" Jiwoo is scandalised when she's reminded of the most mortifying moment she's ever lived (she's tried burying that memory somewhere deep, deep inside her mind with all the other embarrassing moments created in her twenty years of living).

"Who would've thought that Kim Jiwoo, resident 'Sunshine Girl', watches girl on g-"

"Unnie!" Her whole face is burning red by this point as she lunges to cover Sooyoung's mouth. She'd been talking pretty loudly, and having other people hear her preferences (especially such a controversial one, at that) will probably lead to her inevitable demise. Though that would probably get rid of the cursed image that she has pretty quickly.

Sooyoung is laughing to herself as she pries her wrist away from , a teasing smile on her face and a glint in her eye. "I'm just saying, it's kinda funny you're so boy crazy when the thing that really gets you off is..." Jiwoo considers jumping into the middle of on-coming traffic when Sooyoung wiggles her eyebrows at her, a look on her face that makes her feel inexplicable things. Really, all she wants to do is run away from this conversation and forget it ever happened.

"That was one time..." Jiwoo lies, trying to find an out to this topic.

Sooyoung laughs as if she's just remembered something, tightening her grip on her hand to keep her from pulling away in fear. "I think I should've seen it coming when you basically gave me a ."

"I was drunk." She hisses through clenched teeth, though her mind immediately goes back to that... strange night.

"Don't worry, Jiwoo," the older girl lowers her voice and dips to whisper in her ear, "I know what you have under that pretty dress isn't innocent at all." Sooyoung gives her a look, and it takes all of the strength left in Jiwoo's body not to collapse onto the pavement then and there.

In order to save her dignity - and ironically her cursed image - Jiwoo shoves a cackling Sooyoung away and just tries to think about other things that aren't Sooyoung and Sooyoung's body and Sooyoung's body under her hands and-

No, if anyone could hear her thoughts right now, they definitely wouldn't think she's innocent.

-

Jiwoo comes home tipsy, angry, and .

She pushes the front foor of the Moon Dorm open like it's her worst enemy (the old lady from the laundry store that always glares at her like she's some criminal) and kicks her shoes off violently, crashing them against the wall and making them fall onto the pile built up there.

"I'm home..." She mutters under her breath, never forgetting to say her routinely greeting.

"Oh, welcome home, unnie." Yerim smiles brightly at her from her place on the couch, cuddled up beside Heejin with stacks of papers surrounding them and their laptops placed dilligently on the coffee table.

Jiwoo considers crashing on the space beside her and laying her head in Heejin's lap (she was the best at giving head massages) and just ranting out her troubles, but she has a feeling that this is something the younger girl's can't help with. Or the older girls, Vivi and Jinsoul, who are showing each other something or other on their phone screens.

No, this is something only someone specific can help with.

She slightly stumbles up the steps into the living room (to which Jinsoul teases her about but she ignores) and looks around the dorm. "Where's Sooyoung-unnie?"

Yerim hums pensively, and Jiwoo has the urge to rush over to her and shake her by the shoulders to get the answer out of her. She really doesn't have the time for this. "Last I saw her, her and Hyejoo were in you guys' room-"

"Okay thanks."

She should really stop for a second, take time to breathe and get some water, maybe eat some food to sober herself up. But she keeps thinking back to what happened tonight and it makes her blood boil - it makes her so frustrated that she starts to see red and all she can think of is proving them wrong. Proving everyone wrong. That she's not just some innocent girl that should never be touched else she gets tainted by the horrors of the world because she's too childish, and immature, and weak to handle it - to handle any of it that any other girl her age can and should be able to handle by themselves because she's just as much human as they are and-

"Sooyoung-unnie." She bursts through the bedroom door with her face flushed and her vision swirling slightly. She's on autopilot and she doesn't think that Sober!Jiwoo is coming back any time soon.

"Jiwoo? What's wrong?" Sooyoung, in all her bare-faced and casually dressed glory, sits up from where she's laying in her bed and worriedly looks at her. Jiwoo drinks all of it in: the way her hair is tousled hair falls over one shoulder and her plump lips part slightly with unsaid words on her tongue and her long, bare legs fold on the white covers on the bed.

Jiwoo has never wanted anything more than in this moment.

She sees Hyejoo playing on her console in her own bed, headphones covering her ears as she doesn't even bother regarding her presence at all. Instead she continues to burn her eyes on the bright screen that flashes different images at her and Jiwoo needs to get her out of the room.

"Hyejoo, can I talk to Sooyoung-unnie in private?" She asks, her breath catching in as she struggles to do the simple action of just inhaling and exhaling.

The younger girl barely looks up, her eyes too focussed on whatever game she's playing this time. "Yeah."

Jiwoo impatiently glares at her, feeling like there are tiny little ants underneath her skin that she just has to get rid of... the feeling that she needs to be touched or she'll go insane. "Hyejoo. Alone."

At that, Hyejoo seems to bother to raise her head and regard her with an equally irritated stare. "Why do I have to leave? Can't you just talk to her outside?"

Clenching her fists to stop herself from doing anything stupid in her drunken haze, Jiwoo maintains eye-contact with the rebellious girl. Hyejoo has always preferred to stay in her own space on her own, guarding it like a territorial animal and more often than not edging the rest of her roommates out of the room so she'll be by herself. Usually, Jiwoo won't mind and will be more than happy to comply to one of the girl's necessities, but right now she's the one with the necessity.

"Hyejoo, if you don't leave I'll tell Chaewon you steal her jumpers."

Praise the lord for Ha Sooyoung, Jiwoo thinks as the older girl steps in. She doesn't think that she would've ever been able to get Hyejoo out of the room if it weren't for the supposed blackmail that Sooyoung has on her, and she's almost surprised when the younger girl begrudgingly complies and starts gathering her things. She doesn't do so without grumbling curses and glaring at the both of them, kicking the door closed behind her with more force than necessary.

Jiwoo flinches slightly, but now that she realises that she's achieved her goal and is alone with her target, the feeling under her skin just seems to increase even more.

"What is it?" Sooyoung asks her, her bare legs now hanging off the side of her bed as she leans forward curiously. Before Jiwoo can even say anything, though, Sooyoung speaks up again. "Are you drunk?"

"What? No." She denies, already feeling her eyelids beginning to weigh more as she stares at Sooyoung's beautiful, tempting lips that she just wants to...

"Yes you are, you're doing it again." Sooyoung frowns, pointing her chin towards her vaguely. Jiwoo is entranced with the way her jawline becomes defined and sharp and even more attractive than usual. "Didn't you say you'd never drink again after what happened last time?"

Jiwoo remembers what happened last time. She remembers a heat coming over her body when she'd gotten home after a night out with her friends, and the fabric of her clothes being too uncomfortable on her skin for her to keep on. Sooyoung just happened to be in the room at that time, innocently doing whatever it was she was doing on her laptop, and became the center of her focus.

She thinks that the concern on Sooyoung's face makes her ten times hotter than usual, too. It's not the first time that Sooyoung has expressed her distaste for her drinking so often with her friends, especially since she's said how she doesn't trust any of them. Jiwoo has told her that there's no reason to worry about them, because even if she wanted anything to happen nothing ever would. Still, despite the slight jabs and snide comments that the older girl gives about her bad habits, she knows that she's only doing it because she cares.

Sooyoung cares.

She thinks that will be enough.

"What are you doing?" Sooyoung asks like she's talking to a child, an unimpressed expression on her face as she watches her move closer with a bored gaze.

But she's not a child. If she has to prove herself, then so be it.

"Jiwoo..." When the older girl's voice drops, it sends a thrill through her body. There's slight fear lacing her voice, and she's no longer looking at her the way that everyone else does - like she's something that can be broken at the mere misplacement of a touch. No, she looks more nervous than anything.

She can feel Sooyoung's body heat as she places her hands on her shoulders, ignoring the startled look that completely takes over the girl's face. It makes her feel good. "Unnie..." Her mind is spinning as she pushes closer, putting one of her knees on the mattress to stablaise her balance.

"Wh- Jiwoo- what the -"

"Please, Unnie, I need this." There was a slight desperation rising from within her - something that was cultivated by the major insecurity that had grown inside of her all of this time. If Sooyoung turned her away right now - if she denied her touch and told her to leave - she didn't think she'd be able to live with herself anymore (a tad bit dramatic, but Jiwoo has been pushed to the very edge of her limits and she doesn't think she can take anymore).

Sooyoung hesitates for a second. Just sits there, gaping at her. Her eyes are wide, full of fear and confusion and other things that Jiwoo doesn't understand. The silence between them is tense, and Jiwoo feels like she'll literally burst into tears if she lets it settle any longer so she just-

And god do Sooyoung's lips feel good against hers.

They're softer than she could've possibly imagined (and expected, from all those times wondering if it would feel the same kissing a girl as it did kissing a boy), sinking against the increasingly desperate pressure of her own mouth like the mattress giving way under her other knee that moves to straddle the older girl. She feels like her brain has just exploded in her skull and burst into a bright nebula and she can see so much that she couldn't before - like how Sooyoung possibly has the softest lips on earth and how much she's actually been waiting for this moment like it's her last. It's surprising how easy it is to glide her lips cross the slightly chapped surface, and she finds that her heart beats a little faster every time she does so, so she repeats the motion again.

But Sooyoung's shoulders are tense under her hands, and her lips are immobile against hers, and all of a sudden her insecurities are shooting through her chest and she pulls away with a lump in .

"I'm sorry-" Jiwoo can hear her voice break at the unreadable expression on Sooyoung's face and she feels like she's the least desirable thing to have ever existed and why doesn't anyone want her-

Sooyoung's hand is what pulls her back in, grabbing at the back of her neck to keep her there.

Jiwoo literally melts when Sooyoung kisses her back. The tension in her body completely washes away and she finds herself dissolving in the other girl's lap from the initial relief. Her thoughts are stilled and her mind is cleared.

But then she feels a hand grip at her thigh and the atmosphere changes.

A heat washes over her and her skin is suddenly on fire and she just wants Sooyoung's hands all over her body - she wants her body on her body - so she tries to press herself closer than before to feel her better - to feel her everywhere. She feels the hand on her leg tightening its grip at the same time Sooyoung gives a sharp inhale through her nose, the sound loud in the quiet room, and she positively feels the desire inside of her growing greedily.

Her hands have a mind of their own: crumpling the pajama shirt to try to contain her emotions, before feeling the smooth skin on a hot neck and mindlessly searching for more skin, exploring the entrance in the back of the shirt and gliding into it to move over Sooyoung's back. Sooyoung's chin hits hers in the midst of trying to find a better angle, and she uses the time to try to breathe before delving back into the kiss more eagerly - as if she were diving under water. The hand that had previously been at her neck slides down to her hip, squeezing as she involuntarily hums and encouraging her to press even closer than before, urging a sharp gasp from the older girl.

Every time Jiwoo pulls, Sooyoung pushes. Her hands keep her from losing balance and falling out of her lap, though they also prompt her hips to grind against hers and she feels her jaw slacking at the new sensation.

It's sobering.

Very sobering.

One of Sooyoung's hand is sliding up her shirt and faintly scratching at her stomach and oh my god she's kissing a girl-

When Jiwoo goes to pull away (already panicking at the realisation that she's doing something gay), Sooyoung dazedly follows after her and traps her lower lip between her teeth and really - who wouldn't make the sound she makes when there's a literal model is biting your lip?

This seems to spur Sooyoung on, her hand guiding her hips once more and sending a sharper sensation up her spine than last time. The grip that the older girl has on her is strong, and the way that she's dragging her nails on her skin to leave faint marks is possessive.

Jiwoo has never felt this wanted before.

Someone wants her.

Sooyoung wants her.

The thought is just enough to get intoxicated over, and there are suddenly tears slipping down her face and Sooyoung pulls away immediately when she realises.

They're both panting heavily, but Jiwoo sees the way Sooyoung's pupils are dilated and the look of immediate worry and concern and out of no where she's bursting into tears in the older girl's lap like a little kid. The least she can do is cover her face with her hands, too ashamed to show her face after everything. It's all too overwhelming (never had she thought that she'd kiss a girl after judging Sooyoung about her uality) and all of the emotions that are fuelled by her insecurities and alcohol are making her more irrational than usual.

"Wh-what's wrong?" Sooyoung's slightly out of breath, but she still gently guides her off and sits her on the bed. Jiwoo is crying too hard to actually see what's happening, but she does feel arms being wrapped around her shoulders.

"I-I..." No words come to her when she thinks about explaining anything to the older girl, only thoughts about what happened earlier tonight that make her feel even worse. "Am I ugly?"

Sooyoung is stunned into silence at the question, and Jiwoo just takes that as confirmation, sobbing harder into her hands. "What? No!" There's anger tinting her voice, and then her hands are prying at her wrists to remove her own from shielding her face. "Who the said that?"

Jiwoo doesn't answer, because no one actually said that. But after being turned down so many times, and her first serious relationship ending just because she was too innocent to touch, she can't help but feel ugly. Like the things that people have been telling her are just condolences to make her feel better and that no one will actually ever want her the way that she wants to be wanted.

"Jiwoo, who the said that?" Sooyoung looks really, really mad. Jiwoo has seen Angry!Sooyoung before, and she admits that she's terrified of that version of her, but now that she's getting angry over her it isn't as bad. "I'm going to tear who ever told you that to pieces."

Shaking her head, Jiwoo just tries to move closer to Sooyoung, weakly wrapping her arms around her.

Sooyoung cares about her. Sooyoung makes her feel wanted.

"No, no one said that." She whispers, resting her chin on Sooyoung's shoulder.

The older girl reluctantly accepts her comment, pulling her to her by the waist. "Is that what you think of yourself?" Sooyoung has always been good at inferring things from her environment (something Jiwoo had been wary about at first) and it doesn't really surprise her when she catches on. She doesn't have the strength to admit it out loud, but she thinks that the silence is enough to serve as an answer. "Why would you think that?"

Jiwoo hesitates.

She doesn't want to sound stupid.

If she admitted it, would that stop Sooyoung from wanting her?

Most likely - it would make her sound really childish.

But then again, it's Sooyoung. The girl has always treated her like anyone else.

"No one wants me." Her voice trembles. "They tell me I'm too innocent."

When Sooyoung's grip on her falters her heart drops to her stomach. But then she's being pulled back onto Sooyoung's lap and there are arms tightly wound around her waist and a chin resting on her temple as her head rests against a comfortable shoulder. It feels comforting - especially after she thought she was going to get pushed away.

"Jiwoo, listen to me when I tell you this," Sooyoung nudges her chin against her head to make sure she's listening to her, and Jiwoo closes her eyes as tears well up again, "you are the most beautiful person ever-" it feels fake, "-anyone that doesn't want you is obsiously missing some braincells, okay?"

A slight laugh bubbles out of her chest, and she can't help the warmth that comes with it.

"What happened tonight?" Sooyoung asks tentatively, and Jiwoo is grateful that she's being so careful with her words despite everything.

"Uhm... my date ditched me for another girl..." Jiwoo says, her heart aching at the memory of it. It's terribly embarrassing now that she says it outloud.

Sooyoung seems to clench her jaw at her words, and her arms hold her tighter than before. "Yeah, well, he's a ing idiot." Jiwoo can feel the anger in her voice as trembles from the slight growl that comes along with it, and she vaguely shakes her head. "He doesn't know what he's missing out on, I swear to you."

Just then, the bedroom door swings open and Hyejoo is stepping through with her console in her hand and the same annoyed expression from before on her face. "Okay, Yeojin and Jinsoul-unnie were getting too annoying so I've had enough of being banished from my own room..."

She stops in her tracks when she sees them on Sooyoung's bed, hugging each other while Jiwoo hiccups through her tears, and awkwardly blinks at them. The two of them just stare back at her, not prepared for the sudden interruption (Jiwoo is grateful that she didn't come in five minutes earlier).

"Uh... is Jiwoo-unnie okay?" She at least has the decency to ask, though she looks incredibly tense.

Jiwoo wipes at her tears with the heels of her hands and smiles at the younger girl. "When you get older, don't drink, Hyejoo-yah." She jokes lightly, already moving out of Sooyoung's hold (she ignores the feeling inside telling her to stay there forever).

"She's fine, the alcohol just got to her emotions." Sooyoung plays into the excuse, though her hand squeezes at her arm before she's out of reach.

Hyejoo nods, eyes darting between the two of them before settling on the ceiling. "Ooookay... I just wanted to say that Hyunjin-unnie just got out of the shower."

"Are you telling me I smell?" Jiwoo teases, watching as the younger girl visibly relaxes.

"Yeah, go take a shower, Unnie." Hyejoo scrunches her nose and easily dodges her hit.

Jiwoo giggles, grabbing some spare clothes and a towel before disappearing from the room. As soon as she's in the hallway, her brain goes haywire.

Sooyoung will definitely not think she's innocent after that.