Sakura loves Chaeyeon.

It has been years since Sakura arrived in Korea. Everything was going well as usual. Sakura and Chaeyeon were still best friends. They were still both working hard to pursue their dreams of being idols. There was always a lurking possibility of Sakura going back to Japan but the two best friends avoided talking about it. They always disregarded it until Sakura received a big offer.

The famous Japanese girl group AKB48 casted her for their sub unit HKT48. Sakura was so happy upon receiving the offer but she was also hesitant for she didn’t want to leave her best friend. Chaeyeon was the first person she confided regarding the said offer.

“Go for it, Kkura-chan. You deserved it. Don’t mind me. We could always be friends even if we’re miles away. Distance will just make the heart grow fonder! Woah, that came out cheesier than I’ve expected!” Chaeyeon took the news well. She fully supported her best friend. She was so proud of Sakura.

The dreaded day came, Sakura and Chaeyeon were hugging each other as they bid their last farewell for each other in the airport. Sakura was leaving.

“Sakura, don’t ever forget about me! Or else I’ll leak your picture of sleeping while your eyes were wide opened!” Chaeyeon teased Sakura.

“Jaaeyeon!! Stop kidding around. Promise me that we’ll keep in touch?” Sakura took Chaeyeon’s hand and forcefully made a pinky promise and it made the younger girl laugh.

“Ya, you’ve basically left me with no choice but to do it! You’ll wait for my debut, right?” Chaeyeon asked Sakura.

“Of course! I’ll wait for you, Lee Chaeyeon. Good Farewell.”

“Wait for me. I’ll match your pace, Miyawaki Sakura. Good farewell.”

Their last words weren’t anything tragic. Their farewell wasn’t filled with tears. It was filled with hopes and dreams of meeting each other again. It was indeed a good farewell.

They kept contacting each other for a while. Sakura successfully debuted and Chaeyeon kept up with her training in JYPE. She was diligently training with her younger sister Chaeryeong when she was called by one of their trainers.

“Chaeyeon, I’ll be honest with you. You and Chaeryeong are really talented but it’s very unlikely for us to debut sisters under the same group. Especially with your case, you two could easily pass off as twins.” The trainer carefully said to Chaeyeon. Chaeyeon didn’t say anything and just kept on listening.

“I just want to inform you. I’ll talk to Chaeryeong as well after this. We’ll soon be observing the both of you. I assume you already know what I’m hinting here.” The trainer seriously looked at Chaeyeon.

“Maam, just drop me. It’s alright.” Chaeyeon stopped her tears that were threatening to fall. The trainer was surprised with what the girl said.

“No, Chaeyeon, that’s not what I’ve meant. I’m not telling you to drop out. That’s not up for me to decide!” The trainer held Chaeyeon’s hand. She symphatizes with the girl. She saw through the years of training her how kind and hardworking the girl was.

“I know maam. If I dropped out then that means my sister will definitely debut someday, right? Then, I’ll gladly quit. I could try again at other companies. Please keep this a secret from my younger sister. Thank you so much for everything.” Chaeyeon bowed politely, showing immense gratitude towards the trainer who helped her a lot for a long time. The trainer couldn’t help but shed a tear.

Chaeyeon quickly gathered her things and left JYPE’s building. Upon arriving home, she saw Chaeryeong who was anxiously waiting for her. Chaeryeong didn’t know the truth. The trainer told her that Chaeyeon simply didn’t reach the cut. Chaeryeong hugged her older sister tightly and Chaeyeon couldn’t help but break down. The tears the she has been holding back finally poured. It was painful but she didn’t regret it. She will never regret it. She will do anything for her younger sister.

“It’s okay Ryeongie, I’ll get over it. I could always try again.” Chaeyeon smiled as she said those words.

Chaeyeon locked herself in her room.

She needed time to think.

She needed to clear her mind.

She was clearly starting to self-destruct.

She wasn’t as good as Eunbi.

She wasn’t good enough for JYPE.

She just wasn’t good enough.

Her phone suddenly rang. She mindlessly grabbed her phone to check who was calling. Miyawaki Sakura, it was the person she longed to talk to. Sakura became busy so she rarely called Chaeyeon.

“Kkura-chan! Hello! How are you?” Chaeyeon tried to sound as cheerful as she can. She didn’t want to worry Sakura.

“Chaeyeon. Please drop it. Chaeryeong has told me everything.” Sakura said impatiently. She just wanted Chaeyeon to be honest with her.

“Ah, Ryeongie told you? Don’t worry, I’m alright. I could always try again, right?” Chaeyeon said that but she was trying so hard to stop herself from sobbing. She doesn’t want to further worry Sakura.

“Chaeyeon, our promise is still valid. I’ll wait for you Chaeyeon. Let’s meet each other at the stage, right?” Sakura lovingly said. Chaeyeon felt light and relieved upon hearing her best friend’s voice again.

“Yeah. Kkura-chan, thank you so much.” Chaeyeon answered.

“Chaeyeon, you know that I’ll always love you, right?” Sakura asked.

“Yes.” Chaeyeon knew where the conversation was heading. Perhaps this was what she needed.

“We’ll always be best friends. I love you Chaeyeon.”

Sakura loves Chaeyeon.

As a best friend.

That was the last conversation they had. Perhaps that was what Chaeyeon needed to hear. Her insecurities completely took over. She just  wasn’t good enough.

I’m not good enough for you, Kkura-chan.