how would you describe chaewon?

eunbi didn't expect herself to be stuck on this question. 

chaewon is so many things, but no single word can encompass what kim chaewon really is. 

eunbi has to start somewhere, so she thinks of chaewon's nickname.

fans call her a 'fairy'. a pickled radish fairy.

eunbi writes it down on a piece of paper.

yeah, eunbi supposes she is one. 

a pretty magical being. that could work.

except fairies are usually seen as kind, peaceful beings. 

it's not that chaewon is unkind. she's just... playful. 

she jokingly bullies the members all the time. that's not exactly something a fairy would do, right?

plus "fairy" is used so commonly. kim chaewon is special and she deserves to be described as such.

eunbi crosses it out. 

going by that judgement, her other choice - "angel", is also ruled out. 

maybe she should start with what chaewon makes her feel. that should be easy right? 

eunbi draws a line on the piece of paper, separating her previous train of thought from her new one. 

eunbi twirls her pen. 

what does chaewon make her feel?

happy? 

chaewon does make her feel happy whenever she does something cute or even stupid. 

(like that one time chaewon got 'angry' at her for wanting to take a selfie alone instead of with her) 

she was also happy when chaewon's name got called during the last episode of produce48. so yeah. chaewon makes her happy. 

eunbi also finds ssamachi amusing, which is why she tries to bring it out so much.

a smol, angry kim chaewon? that's possibly the cutest thing in the world.

but chaewon also makes her sad, like when she overworks herself, thinking that she's not good enough. 

sure, she didn't train for as long as some of the other girls did, but chaewon is honestly amazing. she really keeps at it until she gets it and she strives to perfect it even more after she does.

proud? 

chaewon makes eunbi proud. being the woollim girls' leader (she still doesn't remember how that happened), she saw chaewon grow from this unconfident, meek girl to a strong and reliable woman.

eunbi doesn't cry as much as some of the other girls, but when she cries, it's in buckets.  

eunbi always tries not to rely on the other girls - she's the leader, she has to be strong for all of them. 

but she can't always be strong, and when she's not, chaewon is always there. 

eunbi remembers how emotional she was during MAMA and how (supposedly) skinship hating kim chaewon held her the entire time backstage. 

chaewon didn't even leave her side even during the ending (until one of the other idols talked to her, but eunbi let go first because she didn't want to restrict chaewon). 

chaewon also initiated the cuddling in bed that night, although eunbi doesn't know if it's because her duvet is just that comfortable.

comfortable. that's it!

eunbi scribbles the word down. 

chaewon is comfortable, like the duvet she wraps herself in every night. 

a duvet... what's a duvet?

welcoming. warm. protective. constant.

okay. she's getting somewhere at least.

eunbi takes it for granted sometimes, especially when it's summer and she can't use it. 

sure, her other blankets are comfortable, but none of them scream 'hug me' like her duvet does. 

(not that chaewon would ever outrightly scream 'hug me'. as if she'd ever admit that she likes hugs)

welcoming.

chaewon is welcoming; that's something no one exactly expects, but something everyone accepts. 

chaewon was always that quiet pretty kid during their woollim trainee days. eunbi knows at least 4 trainees had a crush on her, with how gorgeous and hard-working she is. 

she never really talked much, but whenever she did, it was impactful and everyone would listen. 

so yeah, maybe people wouldn't understand why she would describe chaewon as 'welcoming'. 

but when eunbi is down, nothing is more welcoming than the softness in the way chaewon looks at her. 

the eyes that convey the message 'talk to me. rely on me.'

it's the same for the other members. 

chaewon is someone everyone relies on without realising it. 

she's eunbi's rock and iz*one's pillar. 

no, she doesn't scold the girls when they do something wrong, eunbi does that. but whenever the group is emotional and shaken by situations, she is the one person everyone turns to. 

eunbi worries though. she knows chaewon feels emotions just as much as all of them do, if not more. but her sweet, angelic soul never shows her own tears.

eunbi is afraid chaewon feels the need to hide her own feelings so the others can be reassured. god, chaewon really is such an angel.  

eunbi looks at the piece of paper she is writing on and realises she just wrote chaewon's name with a heart 6 times. 

she cancels everything. she's getting sidetracked. 

what's next? 

warm. 

chaewon is warm and it's not just when eunbi cuddles with her in bed.

she's warm-hearted. 

the first time eunbi realises is when suyoon cried after an evaluation. 

maybe eunbi was just used to seeing y, competitive trainees, but chaewon was the first person she saw so concerned about another trainee's wellbeing without ulterior motives. 

the trainer scolded suyoon for her lack of progress in dancing and suyoon seemed perfectly fine when it was the other trainees' turn. 

eunbi noticed chaewon throwing suyoon concerned glances a few times, but didn't think much of it at first.

but when chaewon followed after a suyoon who half-ran out of the room when the evaluation ended, eunbi was surprised. 

she didn't follow them though, because she felt like they were still guarded around her. 

so she went to the vocal practice room to practice her singing. 

after about 4 hours of practice, it was almost 12 midnight. eunbi usually did a