This is my first English written Fanfiction that I uploaded here. This story originally inspired by one of EXO’s member and one of eight Fanfictions that wrote back then on 2014. I changed like 65% of it contents since the original story was too childish and dramatic lmao kkk~. The plotline are still the same anyway.

 

The idea of this story was actually as simple as the method to relieve my stress as senior year’s student. Now looking back at it, this story also represent myself and my deepest scars and wounds. I might warn you for further safety that you might feel little bit uncomfortable while you read this fanfiction because my English is so broken hahahahah

 

 

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

 

DISCLAIMER

 

The original pictures belongs to the righteous owner. I only own the edit and the story. If you ever encountered similar plotline or story, it’s all pure coincidence.

 

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

 

.

.

.

 

◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥

 

TRIGGER WARNING

 

This story contains few descriptions of mental conditions and stuff like that

 

◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥

 

.

.

.

 

 

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

 

Song Recommendation

EXO – Miracle in December or BTS – Butterfly

 

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

 

 

---

 

[Leaf’s Story Line]

 

 

“Hey, Kim Seok Jin!”

 

A girl who we don’t know the name of is running with short breath. Her voice’s echoing throughout the hallway of the school which is still quiet empty at this hour. There are only two of them alone at this time. It’s still 7:00 sharp in the morning but the two of them had arrived at school. They came pretty early as the school usually started to run their business around 8:30 am in the morning and thus explained why there are no other students in the corridor that they just stepped into.

 

The guy whom she called before unplugged his earphones and moved his head to the source of the voice. He saw her, the girl which he acknowledged as his best friends who’s currently staring at him with angry face. She seemed tired after running from something which he didn’t know what was. Her face seems looked rather reddish, the sign of someone’s who lost their breath. Or maybe caused by her angriness? Who knows.

 

“You okay?” He asked her while he moved his legs towards her. The girl’s face now looked slightly pale. The girl exhaled a big humph then nodded her head.

 

“Are you deaf? I’ve called you for nth times!” She blasted while wiping her sweat which flowed downwards her temples. Seok Jin, the guy who’s now standing before her. Instead of answering her question, both his hands are raising; wiping the sweat around her cheek. He further grab her strands which hanging messily and placed them behind her ears. She pouted her lips with annoying looks. Seok Jin smiled faintly then parted his mouth.

 

“Sorry, Jae Ri. I was listening to music. I wasn’t aware that you were calling for me. If I knew that you were there, I would be the one who approached you first.” Seok Jin explained. His eyes pointed at his earphones and his phone at the same time. He looked at Jae Ri with pleading looks.

 

Jae Ri looked at him with aggravated looks.

 

“Yes, yes, Your Highness. I would never won this not-so-likely debate or what ever it is with you. You’ll always came up with something that I couldn’t fight,” she replied with irked voice. She then exhaled his breath once again and move to the side a little bit.

 

“I will forgive you this time. Still too early to bicker. Let’s go, we need to clean the classroom before others came,” she harrumphed with gnashed teeth. Why is she so moody in the first place?

 

“Okay, okay. I’m coming!”

 

 

 

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

 

 

 

“Yo, Jae Ri!”

 

Jae Ri tilted her head when she heard him. She was cleaning the classroom’s windows when Seok Jin called her name. She saw him walking towards her with his hands behind his back.

 

“What’s up?” asked her lazily. She moved her hands and cleaning the window again.

 

“Hm, nothing. Just wanna know if your ears are still working I guess,” answered him jokingly. He leaned on the window’s side and placed both his hands on his chest. He closed his eyes and inhaled the trees scent. The fresh wind breeze brushed his face and made him smile inwardly.

 

“Weird. My ears was always working and it was my best investment of them all!” She protested with her brows knitted together. She really tried her best not to slap him with the dirty cloth that she is using to wipe the windows.

 

“I won’t doubt you. I’m a weirdo for loving you this much,”

 

Seok Jin opened his eyes. He faced Jae Ri with a warm smile which made her flutter inside.

 

“Seok Jin-ah, you know I…”

 

“I know. Don’t bother to tell me. I know you hate this kind of topic and I swear I just want to tease you. Why so serious?”

 

“You *******!”

 

Seok Jin was stupefied for seconds and forced himself not to laugh but he couldn’t make it. It wasn’t their first arguments but seeing her in this state amused him. Jae Ri easily got angry at small stuff and hardened her face to some extent that made you fear for her. But she could never make him afraid for her. He always found himself liking her with this face. She looked cute and scary at the same time.

 

“That’s the interesting point of me,” Seok Jin winked at her which were replied with an even bloodier face from Jae Ri. She slammed the dirty cloth to the floor and made her way toward the classroom’s door with big steps. Before she reached her destination, her wrist were grabbed by someone’s hand.

 

“Hey, hey. Sorry. Why are you so mad over little things like that? When will you grow up?”0020Seok Jin grabbed her wrist for the second time after she pulled it with big force. She wasn’t looking for any life wise advice in the first place and his words even made her annoyed more.

 

“I don’t care and don’t mind me. I will only be mature after centuries!” She glared him with frosty eyes. Jae Ri tried to pull her wrist again but Seok Jin tightened his hand. He made sure it wasn’t too tight, scared that it would hurt her.

 

“Will I always be the one who should concede and wait for you to feel better? When will you try to do the same to me? Will there any time when you tried to comfort me and not giving up to your moody self? I thought you wanted to be great person and ruled the world. But you couldn’t even keep your cool,”

 

Jae Ri looked at the white floor. She was thinking with tired eyes. His words stuck to her head. Though he wasn’t mocking at her, it does piercing her heart and made her wanna cry a river (lol exaggerated stuff over here). She couldn’t blame him. Those words which he just said are the truth after all. She was ‘that’ bad.

 

Jae Ri lift up her head, looked at him. She saw the b light of sun shone upon him. He looked magnificent. Seokin is taller than her. A lot taller. That’s how he made his way too easy to stop her just merely seconds after she stepped her ‘big’ steps. Seok Jin’s usual steps even bigger than her, let alone her steps.

 

Seok Jin sighed inwardly. He panicked a little bit when he saw her gloomy face. Ah… he must be went overboard this time.

 

“Nevermind. Sorry if I crossed the line. Let’s finish our task now.” Seok Jin let her wrist go and waved his hand. He stepped backwards and grabbed the dirty cloth on the floor. Letting Jae Ri alone stuffed with her own thoughts.

 

 

 

 ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

 

 

 

“Hey, Kim Seok Jin. Where on earth are we going exactly? Why haven’t we reached that place yet?” Jae Ri coughed two times. She grabbed her bottle which only has 10% of it and emptied it. felt so dry. She placed the bottle back to its place.

 

“Not so far, princess. We will get there in no time,” Seok Jin smiled at her. He reached her head and it tenderly.

 

“We haven’t stopped since we got off school and kept walking until now. Is there even any end to this journey? I’m so tired…” She grabbed Seok Jin’s left hand and concussing it back and forth. Her steps were staggered and she nearly collapse. She has such a weak body to deal with in the first place.

 

“Ah, sorry. Are you okay? Do you want me to carry you?”

 

Seok Jin saw her pale face and worries started to beaming inside his head. He should have stopped and took a rest once in a while. But he forgot about it since he has no long time.

 

She brushed off his hands which tried to hold her and stabilized her body. But she slumped and fell to the ground.
 

“Jae Ri!” Seok Jin shouted. He grabbed her back before she touched the ground.

 

“A-a-are you okay?” Jae Ri could hear his nervous voice and stammered words. She huffed deeply and placed her head on his chest. She could hear his unstable heartbeat.

 

“Hmm,” She doesn’t answer him yet. It felt kind of warm on his embrace.

 

“H-how do you feel? T-t-tell me Jae Ri!” His worries intensified. His palms were drenched with cold sweat and his face was panicked.

 

Jae Ri smiled inside. His worries made her heart tingled and she loved it.

 

“Hm, yeah. I think I just need to rest a bit and we can walk again,”

 

Seok Jin calmed a little bit. He was thinking about something and looked at her warily.

 

“Do you want me to carry you? On my back?” He asked hesitantly.

 

“Nah, nah. It’s fine. I can walk on myself. I just need to-”

 

“But I insist!”

 

Jae Ri looked at him with surprise on her looks. She was trying to coax him that she was okay by gently patted his back but he suddenly burst with such face.

 

“O-okay then. If you want to…”

 

There was a moment of silence between them before Seok Jin helped her to sit properly. Seok Jin cleared his throat and instructed Jae Ri to hold onto his neck while he tried to carry her on his back.

 

“I never knew that you had such wide shoulders,”

“And it felt warm…” she whispered in her heart. Everything about him are warm in her eyes.

 

“Oh, really? You just found out now? Where are you all this time? I don’t know if your eyes are bad or good. I have such shoulders since I was born and it’s the symbol of my proud! How could you blabber such thing.”

 

His level of confidence sometimes annoyed her, but it made her smile afterwards.

 

“Yeah, yeah, my bad. I shall repair my eyes with deer’s eyes next time to see you clearly. Or maybe rabbit. They looked cute. Or owl. They seem fine and educated. Uhm, cat, maybe? Since it could see on dark nights. Or-”

 

“You only need to set your eyes on me. I don’t really care if it was broken or such, as long as you had them on me, it’s enough,”

 

Seok Jin stopped her words just like that. Jae Ri was still looking for something to reply to him when she heard him again.

 

“It’s here.”

 

Jae Ri frowned at him with confusing looks.

 

“What’s here?’

 

She darted her eyes to the front and she left with awestruck. She couldn’t control her face and parted wide. It’s O shaped and her eyes are shining. She doesn’t even aware that Seok Jin already placed her down and seated her on a nearest bench.

 

“Do you like it?” asked Seok Jin after he sat beside her. He looked at her with smile on his face. A loving smile, to be precise.

 

Jae Ri nodded her head enthusiastically. She smiled wide and her eyes shaped like crescent moon.

 

“Yes! Yes! I really like it! I love it so much!”

 

How could she not? Just now she was presented with the most beautiful view that she ever saw in her 17 years old self. Seok Jin brought her to an unknown place filled with orange-reddish maple trees. It was autumn at the moment, so the leafs are falling gracefully and it made such pleasant sight to see.

 

“I wish you had any sweet potato on you,” added her jokingly. She looked around with two hands parted away. The tiredness that she had previously is gone completely.

 

Seok Jin chuckled. He leaned backwards. He sighed with low voice and moved his eyes on her happy face which moments ago were filled with deep thoughts on maple trees before him.

 

“I’ve been looking for the right time to show this place for you. Since it’s autumn now and you had liked it more than you like yourself, I decided to walk you here today. Do you want to go here next time?”

 

He looked at her strangely but see didn’t see it. Jae Ri still dumbfounded with the view and nodded her head involuntarily. Her face changed for times since she saw those trees. There were not only happiness on them. Resentment, calmness sadness, relieved, loneliness, and many other emotions decorated on her black eyes. To put it simply, she was lost on her thoughts.

 

“Yes, I want to see it again,” She replied after long contemplative time.

 

“Hm, I’m glad to hear that.”

 

Seok Jin moved his eyes on the nearest tree. He got up then plucked one of the reddest leaf that he saw. He placed that leaf on Jae Ri’s earlobe which made her giggle. Ew, that’s tickling bruh.

 

“You can go to this place by yourself from now on.” added him while sat back on his seat.

 

“Why would I go back alone? You must go with me too! Since you’re the person who showed me this place, then I will honor you my presence to company you here next time!”

 

Seok Jin didn’t answer her yet he smiled. Jae Ri looked at him with puzzled eyes. She felt uneasy with no reason.

 

“What’s wrong? You have been acting strangely since this morning. Are you okay? Do you feel unwell? Do you want to go back?”

 

Jae Ri narrowed her eyes. She examined his face for times. She saw Seok Jin’s lips which now turned dry and pale. His smile no longer made her heart warm this time. In fact, the uneasiness that she felt previously rose up and she started to feel anxious.

 

“Can I hug you?”

 

“…”

 

“Can you give me a hug?”

 

“Uh, what?”

 

“Just a hug, please…”

 

“Wait, what? Hold up-”

 

She froze on her seat. Her body stiffened. He hugged her already. Oh well, she must admit it. The view is beautiful. The guy who hugged her is considered beautiful as well. He is a living concept of a fine men. But what about her? Is she beautiful too? Let’s just say yes. This whole situation is pretty amazing and this is kind of romantic but hold up bruh, why so hur-

 

“I love you,”

 

Damn.

 

Her mind went blank. That sudden confession made her weak. Wow. Just wow.

 

“I love you, Kwon Jae Ri.”

 

That’s not fair, Kim Seok Jin!

 

Instead of letting her go, he tightened his grip on her as if she was about to leave him any soon. She doesn’t even have any energy to push him, let alone run.

 

“S-Se-Seok Jin…”

 

“Thank you, for everything.”

 

Her brows lift up slightly.

 

“Uh…”

 

“Please be easy to yourself and live your life nicely. Be happy, Jae Ri.”

 

 

 

 ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

 

 

 

“Jae Ri…”

 

Jae Ri turned her head to the left side. Her eyes went wide when she saw a familiar figure approaching her. She raised her hands and grab that person’s face on her palms. She could feel that person warmness which transferred to her. She smiled voluntarily and her thumbs on that person’s cheeks. She really miss him.

 

“Seok Jin…”

 

That person stopped his hands which was originally wanted to hold her hands. His body tensed.

 

“No, Jae Ri. I’m Seok Jun, Seok Jin’s older twin brother. Do you remember me?”

 

Her face went black.

 

“Seok Jin, you are here…”

 

The guy which named Seok Jun and said he was Seok Jin’s older twin brother looked at Jae Ri with cold eyes. He grabbed her hands and pulled it from his face. He then let her hands go.

 

“Se-Seok Jin. No, don’t go!”

 

Jae Ri half-screamed when she saw Seok Jun took few steps backwards. Her scream made him stopped his steps and still looked at her with cold eyes.

 

“I’m not going anywhere. And please, my name is Kim Seok Jun. Not Kim Seok Jin.”

 

He tried to calm himself. It’s not easy to deal with Jae Ri in this state and the storm inside his heart didn’t help at all.

 

There’s almost nothing he can do to help Jae Ri to accept that Seok Jin was dead long time ago. She was in utter shock when she heard the news and made her way to the hospital in an instant.

 

She was left dumbfounded when she saw such strange view in front of her. There were two same object in one place. The one who stood tall beside a hospital’s bed and the one who laying down on that same bed. They both looked perfectly similar to each other. You can’t even pinpoint any differentiation between them if only they were in the same clothes.

 

Her brain felt like wrecked and her legs felt weak. Her body shook greatly and she let out high pitched scream. She couldn’t control herself anymore and her brain felt like about to explode. What in the hell is going on here?

 

Seok Jun sighed with loud voice.

 

“Do you even remember when I dragged you out of the hospital room and explained you stuff back then?”

 

Jae Ri looked at him with sad eyes. It was never her fault that she couldn’t remember stuff properly. She placed those hurtful memories on the back of her head and do nothing about it. She couldn’t face the reality and ended up here, on a mental hospital. She came here and was charged for time to time.

 

Seok Jun tried his best to hold himself. He suppressed his inner desire to step forwards and bring her to his embrace. (this is cringe as sorry) But if he did so, everything that he had planned all this while would fall to ashes. He couldn’t bring himself to see her in this state any longer. He shall do something about it.

 

“Winter had already passed and flowers started to spring. Don’t you wanna see those maple trees on its finest?”

 

It’s been 6 months since then. Seok Jun always found Jae Ri sitting on a bench, everywhere. Looking at the trees and playing with leafs. As if she was redo her last moment with Seok Jin. She did it all the time. But she never stepped her foot on that maple trees garden or whatsoever. She might be afraid of recalling the hurtful memories afterwards.

 

Just a day after Seok Jin walked her to that beautiful place, she got the news about his death. Who could believe it in the first place? He never showed any weakness and she was with him all the time the day before. She packed all her belongings and left the school. She headed to the hospital just to witness such terrifying view before her.

 

How could there two Seok Jin’s on this earth?

 

Was she seeing things?

 

She tried to clear her eyes and shook her head but the view before her haven’t changed.

 

There are two Seok Jin’s in front of her

 

Seok Jun cleared his throat. He was standing all this time. He couldn’t bring himself to sit beside Jae Ri. So he just stood stall there, observing her with his eyes.

 

He saw her conflicted eyes. The words of ‘maple trees’ indeed moved her. Afraid that she might explode like he visited her last time, he opened his mouth again.

 

“He would be really sad if he saw you now. He didn’t walk you there to make you suffer. He wanted to see you, for the first and the last time on his life. He never had any opportunity to see you in personal. Do I really need to explain this to you again? He loved you since the first time she saw you on what so called school festival of his friend’s school and that idiot made me move to that school after that.

 

Maybe, maybe he was a big retarded person and selfish to make such request and we both had fooled you all this time. But I never regretted my decision to help him. In fact, it was pretty fun to be friend you.

 

But he doesn’t feel the same. He felt guilty afterwards. He was in sorry state for a long time and couldn’t leave the hospital. He has been there since middle school. It’s not like he never wanted to meet you again, but he was afraid of what would you think about him if you learned the truth. That he was sick and his body weakened from time to time.”

 

Seok Jun inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. He opens his eyes widely, wanted to observe Jae Ri’s reaction but she didn’t even move a finger. He doesn’t know if this was a good or bad decision to tell her the truth. He had tried few times to explain the real situations but she always managed to scream, yell or crying just when she saw him. He doesn’t understand her at all. But it’s been too long for her to stay in her devastated world which he hate and he had promised Seok Jin to take care of her behalf him. He should do something, wasn’t he?

 

Jae Ri went silent all the time. No one knows what she think of. No one knows what could trigger her. Maybe only Seok Jun who knew that but she always rejected his good intention. She clearly still couldn’t believe it, that’s how Seok Jun see it.

 

Seok Jun wanted to give up most of the time. It wasn’t easy for him as well. Jae Ri isn’t the only one who faced the grief of her one of most beloved person on earth. His family also suffered from the very same grief like what she had. But the promise that Seok Jun made to Seok Jin chained him to this only God knows why is this his responsibility to hold.

 

“If you don’t wanna talk, then I can’t do anything about it.”

 

Seok Jun placed his hand on his pocket. He took something out of it and stepped forward. He extended his hand towards Jae Ri and waved it in front of her face.

 

“This is the last thing that I could to help you. Read it yourself,”

 

Jae Ri didn’t say or do anything about it. She blinked her eyes few times and beamed him with confused look.

 

“Just read it.” said Seok Jun coldly.

 

“I can’t.” she whispered.

 

“Why?”

 

“I would regret it later,”

 

“How do you know that you would regret it or not? You haven’t read it at all. This is the last thing that left from him. Do you really have a heart not to read it now? He wrote it on his last time! Only for you!”

 

Jae Ri startled. Both Seok Jin and Seok Jun never shouted at her before with this volume and looks. She trembled a little bit and extended her hand. She grabbed that white paper and unfolded it slowly. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before started to read them in her heart. Without her consent, she doesn’t know that the same guy who gave her the paper had sad eyes on him and left her alone to let her read it peacefully.

 

 

 

╔ ——————————————— ╗

 

 

To : Kwon Jae Ri

 

Hey, how are you? I hope you’re doing well.

 

Kwon Jae Ri, I want to apologize to you in advance because I couldn’t always be with you on your hardest days. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to help you through those days and comfort you. I know I had break the promise which I made to take care and support you in which conditions that you might happened into. But, one thing shall you remember, wherever you are, whenever it is, I always stay beside you. I’m always with you. I stayed inside your heart. I will always take care of you even though I couldn’t be with you as my body had left this world completely when you read this letter. But I promise you, I will always look for you from up here. I will never let my eyes off on you.

 

I had already regretted it before and I was too late to say it now, but, I love you. I really love you. I want you to live your life. I want you to be happy. I want you to take all my love as much as you need so you can love yourself too. You probably couldn’t believe it but this love that I had for you gave me a reason to live the rest of my life with happy face. I’m so grateful that I met you.

 

I was so happy when I heard your voice for the first time. You were so close to me. It was one of the happiest day that I have ever experienced. I can touch you, I can talk to you. It doesn’t feel real. We spend the day together. Cleaning the classroom, teasing you, made you angry, walking with you and even carried you on my shoulders. Words couldn’t describe how happy I was.

 

Please don’t blame Seok Jun hyung. He just wanted to grant my last wish. I asked him to take my place since I couldn’t go to you and take care of you. He was the one who were always with you all this time, through thick and thin. He never missed any day to report everything about you. And I slowly understand that he also started to fall for you even without him realizing it.

 

What about you, Jae Ri? Do you like him too? hahaha I bet you are. Please don’t waste him. He is a good guy. He is annoying sometimes but he is lovely inside. Ah, you might confused but one couldn’t force other to love them, let alone to make them theirs. I probably had died already, so what’s the point of asking you to be with me? I can’t force you to be with him also but please take care of him, for me.

 

Once again, as the real Kim Seok Jin, let me rephrase it to you. I love you Kwon Jae Ri. Please live happily.

 

 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

 

 

 

END

 

.

.

.

 

 

⊱⇱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊰⌍

 

Author’s Ending Note

 

You’ve reached the end of this fanfiction. Congratulations for making your way down here ❁◦

Let’s don’t waste anyone’s time to read anything anymore and let me know what you think about this story hehe

 

⊱⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⇲⊰⌏

 

 

 

[ Leaf’s Story Line ]