/

Joohyun stretches her back, aligning it straight against the large mirrors of the dance studio. She’s sore from sitting but would much rather sit than go back doing the same routine for RBB.

She knows the dance by heart, can perform it without thinking, but somehow they keep practicing; because Seulgi is right—you never really know when you’re gonna up on stage. Practicing lowers that risk.

She looks around and sees their choreographers working it with Yerim. The girl isn’t particularly bad at it but her enthusiasm—or sometimes, the lack of it—shows when they perform on stage. She’s tired right now—and always, because she’s forced to grow up way too early. So sometimes, the maknae allows herself to up the routine. It’s a kind of normalcy she holds on to, something far from the perfection always demanded from her.

The four of them are done rehearsing really, but the choreographers demanded Yerim to do two more rounds. All four girls refuse to leave.

So, there’s Sooyoung on the far corner of the room, huddled by herself. She doesn’t look tired, just used to it. But she’s texting someone on her phone and she’s smiling from time to time. It’s that guy again from that group that hasn’t debuted yet. Sooyoung says they’re not dating, and Joohyun believes her because Sooyoung doesn’t date. She texts and flirts but doesn’t date ever—and it’s scary to think it’s gonna get her in trouble someday.

For now, she’s careful and that’s enough for Joohyun.

There’s Seulgi, sitting on one of the couches with her earphones on. It’s one of those k-dramas again. The last time Joohyun asked which drama she’s watching, she almost got an hour-long presentation of why she needs to watch said drama—plot, acting, pretty locations, and all. Since then, Joohyun never really asked. But it’s nice to think she could go to Seulgi and talk about mundane things.

It’s the kind of normalcy Joohyun holds on to. Slightly different than Yerim’s, also less destructive, but just as valid. Sometimes, she envies Seulgi—to be that carefree and pure. To have k-dramas as the mere reason she cries at night.

She glances at the clock. 10:12, it reads—and it makes Joohyun sigh. They shouldn’t be spending more than two hours practicing the same routine. She chances a glance at Yerim again. She thinks she’s going through something, makes a mental note to talk to their youngest member later.

Joohyun stands up and stretches her legs. That’s when she spots Seungwan.

Their main singer is sat next to JiYoon-ssi, one of their assistants. They’re talking in low voices but Suengwan is still very animated, her face and hands doing the talking as much as does. It makes Joohyun smile, knowing their main vocalist is entertaining their staff because it’s late and the members aren’t the only ones who get tired.

She was supposed to go to outside and take a walk, maybe go to the bathroom to do absolutely nothing but Joohyun finds herself walking to Seungwan’s direction, slow and steady steps to avoid distracting Yerim even more.

She takes a seat by the space next to the vocalist and Joohyun doesn’t know how, doesn’t have any explanation for it, but her whole body just simply gravitates to the younger girl. She snakes her arm around Seungwan’s and rests her head on the other girl’s shoulder. Without any words exchanged and without interrupting her discussion with JiYoon-ssi, Seungwan adjusts her body slightly to accommodate Joohyun.

The whole thing happens so naturally, like they’ve been doing this dance forever. It’s another kind of normalcy Joohyun holds on to, like an anchor that keeps her steady when the world becomes too much.

(And it happens very often; the world is often too much for Joohyun.)

For a few moments, they just sit there. Joohyun watches Yerim dance, Seungwan just continues to talk to JiYoon-ssi—about what, Joohyun’s not really sure but it’s probably about the assistant’s niece. That’s just the kind of conversations Seungwan would have with their staff—because she knows their families, knows their whereabouts.

The clock strikes 10:40 and JiYoon-ssi stands to call it a day. There’s a collective sigh of relief from everyone as they all start to collect their stuff. The drive to the dorm is short. They’d be home in less than 20 minutes if they wrap it up quickly.

“Ready to go?” Seungwan asks, not moving from their spot.

Joohyun only nods and hums; and Seungwan understands because she always does.

“Are you going to talk to her?” Seungwan asks, her eyes trained on their maknae.

“She seems distracted. I don’t know how to approach her.”

“You do, though,” Seungwan argues.

Joohyun lifts her head from the other girl’s shoulder to meet her eyes, questioning the argument.

Seungwan nods, encouraging her, “You know how to approach her. You know how to approach us.”

Joohyun makes a move to stand, shoulders sagging in defeat.

Did she want to become the leader? Hell no. But will she become the leader they need? Absolutely yes. Joohyun thinks she does it out of love, Irene thinks it’s out of obligation.

(The line between Joohyun and Irene is clear, at least for matters like this.)

.

Joohyun can’t say she didn’t see it coming when a fight breaks soon as they get home.

Yerim is marching first, feet heavy against the pavement. Then, there’s a snide remark from Sooyoung about extended rehearsals and being too tired to deal with everything. It’s a screaming match soon as they step inside the dorm.

It starts with a you didn’t have to wait for me, followed by a you always act like you can’t be left alone, and Joohyun knows this isn’t going to be resolved tonight.

Seulgi seeks Joohyun’s eyes for a moment before she whispers a quiet, “Come on,” to Yerim. Seungwan is beside Sooyoung in an instant, pulling her back.

Fights around the dorm never get physical but Yerim and Sooyoung are both loud when they fight, so it’s easy to imagine it reaching a breaking point.

“Stop it,” Irene half-yells. It’s that tone. She doesn’t use this tone very often but they listen when she does. “You both said things you didn’t mean. Shut your mouths or you’re going to say something you both will regret. We can’t afford that now, can we?”

There’s only dead silence in the room.

Irene nods, satisfied that her short speech worked, “Rest up. Let’s see if there’s something we need to discuss tomorrow.”

Yerim breaks out of Seulgi’s grasp quite aggressively as she marches to her room. Seulgi disappears to her room as well, not w