Until your next concert

 

Seungcheol thought as he turned his back to the stage, leaving the venue and hailing a cab to get home. 

 

Five years have passed and his voice is still the same. It's still sweet and it still sounds like coming home; a lullaby that makes him sleep in peace at night as if the other is singing right in his ears. 

Times like these are his only chance to see him. Of course, there are fansign events but he is content to see his ex-boyfriend in a safe distance where he can just admire him from afar. 

If one will ask Seungcheol if he misses the singer, he would say he does every single day of his life, but he didn't want to give him another burden just like what happened years ago. It's all in the past now. 

 

It has been years and Seungcheol had stopped reaching for the stars. He doesn't stop admiring, that’s true. After all, one never really stopped caring for the person that has been a huge part of their lives. But he has learned to embrace that he is not someone Jihoon needs and he will never be. Maybe not in this life. If anything, he is happy for Jihoon and for what he has accomplished. 

 

Jihoon is fine now; without him. A lot of people love him and he is popular. Girls and guys are lining up to catch his eyes. Seungcheol even bets that the younger one doesn't even remember him now. It's not like he is special to Jihoon or he ever was. He has learned to accept that fact and bury it in his head. 

 

Days have passed after the concert and Seungcheol is back to his usual life. A few years have changed a lot of things. He is an adult with a dream, too. And if life had taught him a lesson, it would be not to wallow into his lump and make his heartbreak worth it, which is not futile if one may think. Thus, chasing his other dream because Jihoon has already achieved the dream they two had made and even without his contribution, Jihoon hit it big. Nonetheless, he is proud of him- always been. Too bad he's not a part of that dream anymore.  

 

In the first weeks of their break-up, Seungcheol was so sure he was going crazy. Booking a flight the next day, hoping for the distance to lessen his pain- scratch that, to escape it. He had never thought he would ever get over Jihoon but look at him now. Time has made him stronger. 

 

He is not a saint. Of course he had called his ex-boyfriend a lot of names and recited curses as he bored daggers to their pictures in his phone while ugly crying his heart out. But one will ripe and mature with time. If he wants to move forward, he will have to forgive the man who tainted him first even without his apology. It's a martyr and probably a stupid thing to do for most people but he knew he did it not for Jihoon, it's for him. So he could be free and be able to start all over.

 

Seungcheol lived with his mother's new family back in New York, though struggling at first. After getting his business degree (finally! College is hell), he flew back to Korea and decided to open up his own bar in his hometown. Just like the bar where Jihoon worked years ago but it is also different because the place is hiring underground talents and he is letting them perform their own songs, if they have any. Seungcheol likes it because somehow, he is reminded of his life with Jihoon before and even from this, he still can help people like his first love to realise and act upon their dreams. It was not the same after everything he had been through but somehow, he felt content. 

 

It was a busy day and the bar was packed, the usual atmosphere of a Saturday night. Seungcheol does not want to brag but his bar is quite popular. Thanks to the talented artists that perform on his little stage and give life to his little haven. 

"Hyung, you need help?" His friend, and one of the regular performers of his bar asked him as he was having a little trouble balancing three trays containing beers and the other orders. He nodded and answered please. He is really in need of help. 

 

Usually, they can manage. He has enough staff to cater for a busy day but tonight, his employee Myungho has an important matter to attend to and Chan is a little sick. So he had no choice but to be the waiter for the busy night. The new girl has also just arrived. Thank God Mingyu is really a big help. Always been. 

 

 

He helped in assisting the customers here and there while the people around him hyped the performers. On a normal night, he is one of them, shouting and clapping and singing his heart out if he knows the song but tonight, Seungcheol can just smile and be genuinely happy for them, seeing they are enjoying what they do. It's really a pleasure to him to see the people around him being happy. 

 

 

He was about to serve another customer and get a bucket of beer which they ordered when someone held his wrist, startling him and stopping him from leaving. Being confused, he looked up just to see what the matter is all about only to be more shocked as he already was.  

 

It was as if the air inside his lungs condensed. He suddenly can't move or even just let out a breath. 

 

"J..Jihoon?”

-------------------------------

 

 

Jihoon was irritated the whole time. Brows furrowed in an angle opposite to impress. 

Bumzu, one of the producers in the company he is working at, forced him to come with him and find some new talents and insisted him to come because he has an eye when it comes to talent. Those are the elder's words. Jihoon could just roll his eyes. 

 

He just wanted to sleep. He stayed up all night trying to come up with a new beat but his lack of sleep is not even worth it for he has made nothing. Not even a chord progression. That explains why he was so irritated. He could have been working, not babysitting his hyung. 

 

Bumzu said that there is this bar who caters underground performers God knows where, and that's where they are going. Jihoon just remained silent, wearing his face-mask and fixing his cap. It's not like he can do anything about his hyung's stubbornness. And thinking about it, maybe he also needs time to unwind and treat this night as a rare opportunity to loosen up. There seems to be none since he started his career. He loves his job but sometimes it was too much. 

 

The bar is packed with a hype-up audience and he can't argue it's overrated. The performers are really good. In fact, he saw Bumzu already trying to talk to someone named Seokmin who has a very wide vocal range. He let his hyung handle the business and indulge himself some time for himself. 

Jihoon wonders his eyes to the crowd, the place is good and surprisingly comfortable considering there's a lot of people. The lights are not that blinding and the noise is also not irritating, if something, it's fluttering. The place is really good. He would have to praise its owner. 

 

He was texting his old friends while drinking his beer, asking if they already have updates regarding his ex's whereabouts when someone bumped into his back carelessly and obliviously, causing him to look up and see a tall guy conversing with the other customers on the table just behind him. 

 

Jihoon would have ignored that person and gone back to texting, when he heard a familiar laugh despite the loudness of the booming speaker. He stilled on his seat and searched for the voice. He would not miss that laugh in any circumstances. It has to be him. 

 

His heart started beating so fast inside his chest and he quickly stood up and removed his facemask, heart pounding up and down inside his ribcage. There he saw the tall guy back facing him as he talked with the two girls on the other table. The guy was about to leave, probably to get the orders but Jihoon is quick to hold him and restrain him from leaving.....again. He made a quick move to capture the man's wrist, opposite to one which has an empty tray. 

 

"JJihoon?" He heard 'him' say after a couple of moment in equally disbelieving manner. 

 

When Jihoon thought of seeing him after those years, he planned to say a lot of things. He wants to tell him everything. How much he has missed him, how it hurts so bad to do the things he did, how it was hard without him. God he wanted to rush and pull him in for a kiss and made him understand his longing through it. But it seems like he couldn't find his tongue, stilling on the spot he has been standing on. All of those words fade into nothing the moment their eyes meet. It's like the first time getting lost upstate looking at his golden eyes. His mind turned into a jumble of incoherence, like a child acquiring a new language but not having enough practice to enunciate the words well. 

 

He was about to open his mouth when the people inside started to crowd him. The noise barely audible to his ears as he is focused on the person standing right in front of him in a state of disbelief. He didn't mind if someone pushed or someone's phones were everywhere surrounding him. He can't even feel the people around them if not for the dampness he suddenly felt in his t-shirt and a couple of gasps coming from the now quiet and full of tension crowd. Now that he is aware, someone has spilled their alcoholic drink in his shirt. 

 

“Sorry” he heard someone say but he paid no attention to whomever it was. He is focused on him, not wanting him to leave his sight, afraid he'll disappear if he lets his eyes off him even for a second. 

 

"Cheol, what's happening? Oh my gosh! It's Lee Woozi." A tall guy seemed so shocked to see him. His sudden appearance made them break the eye contact they have been sharing for a moment there. 

 

"I...Im so sorry I didn't mean to spill my drink on you" a girl in high ponytails with a tray in her hands and a half spilt wine and beers seemed panicked as she stepped up and apologised. 

 

 

"It's okay. I just feel sticky but I'm fine. No worries.” Jihoon managed to say but his eyes lingered on Seungcheol who was trying to calm his nerves down. 

 

"We're really sorry about this Woozi-ssi. Do you have an extra shirt? I'm afraid the stain will be permanent." The tall guy spoke again in which Jihoon just shook his head as an indication that he had none. 

 

"Well, hyung, you should let him borrow a shirt. He needs it and for him to feel we’re really sorry. He might sue us." the tall guy shakes his arm. Jihoon perfectly heard the last part even though the tall guy meant it to be a whisper. 

 

“Hyung”

 

 The tall guy called Seungcheol but the latter seemed not to hear him so he nudged him a little harder this time and the elder seemed to finally get a hold of himself, snapping out from his reverie. 

 

"Right! Uhmm, excuse us. F… follow me" Seungcheol said, also realising the situation they're in after some moment of collecting himself. Jihoon finally heard his voice again, trying to sound calm in the situation. 

 

The trip upstairs where Seungcheol's house is located was a blur. Jihoon did not even notice the staff protecting them from the fans who wanted to get a picture of him. Before he knew it, they are finally inside the elder's pad. 

 

It was silent. 

 

"Uhm, Im s-sorry about that. They're usually not like that and its Yebins first day so she must have been really nervous. Uhm, I'll get you a shirt. You must have felt sticky." Seungcheol awkwardly said biting his nails in nervousness, a habit he still has, he sees, before disappearing in one of the rooms inside and not even sparing him a glance. 

 

Jihoon couldn't believe his ex is finally right there with him when he has been trying to find him for years. It's been so long and seeing the other, it felt surreal. 

 

Realising he is alone, Jihoon wonders his eyes inside 'his' apartment and sees his own albums, complete, in a wooden shelf just above the television. He smiled. And there he wished for the other to hear his songs not knowing he did all along. 

 

"Here is the shirt. Sorry if it's a little big. It's new don't worry. Ive never worn it before." 

Jihoon took the black shirt handed to him and pulled his own shirt up to change. He noticed Seungcheol diverted his eyes elsewhere but not him. Jihoon could only chuckle mentally. 

 

"Please don't be mad at Yebin. I'm very sorry again." The older still refused to look at him. And all Jihoon could think of is how he had missed him. 

"I miss you."

 

"Pardon?" 

 

"I missed you. God, I missed you so much." Seungcheol couldn't be more startled when Jihoon dived in for a hug so suddenly he barely had time to react. 

 

What the hell?! Sure, Seungcheol has imagined seeing his ex-boyfriend again before but seriously? This is way too different to any of those scenarios his mind created. If anything, he had imagined Jihoon asking him if he knew him or even deny that they had a thing. But this? he was so not ready. 

 

"I found you." The singer tightened his hug and Seungcheol was too taken aback to touch back or even react. 

 

"I'm sorry. I-" 

 

"Cheol Hyung! Yebin i- What's going on?" 

 

As if caught making out, the oldest of them is quick to escape Jihoon's embrace. For the moment there, he was about to be carried away and hug back. Glad that Mingyu is so good at timing and it's not sarcasm talking. 

 

"Ahh. Right. I have to see if Yebin's okay. G-gyu, I'll leave you with J..Woozi. uh, bye?" 

Seungcheol made his exit awkwardly before he ran downstairs and went straight to the bar's kitchen to catch his breath. He even heard Mingyu calling him and protesting but he paid no mind to it. What's important is for him to get a grip and calm the down. 

 

"Oppa-" Seungcheol closed his eyes. 

 

"It’s okay, Yebin-ah. Just, please tell Mingyu I'll be in my office so please take care of everything. Okay?" 

 

Those are his last words before he caged himself inside his office at the farthest corner of the bar where the noise is barely audible. He feels tired because of that twenty minute encounter. 

 

Seungcheol busied himself doing all the taxes, events and all the things he could do just to have his mind occupied and not think about that certain singer who just riled his whole system up. He shouldn't be affected. After all, the past is in the past anyway. But guess he's just too startled. He was used to just seeing him from afar as he grew accustomed to it. But now, having that kind of proximity makes him want to run and just hide away. 

 

"Woozi already left. You okay hyung?" He read Mingyu's message but he did not bother to reply. He let out a strained breath before composing himself again.

 

It will pass. Like it always does. Tomorrow, all the things that happened today, that uttered I missed you and the hug that will surely haunt him in his sleep will become another memory. Like those of years ago. Like when they were happy and stopped. Like how Jihoon's feelings faded. It will pass. 

 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow. 

 

When Monday came, Seungcheol was ecstatic. Chan has recovered from his fever, Hansol, one of his favourite performers, decided to come and perform (The kid is really talented), Myungho's important matter turned out well. Everything is good and back to normal that Seungcheol wanted to believe that whatever happened last Saturday was just a figment of his wild imagination. He almost forgot about the incident except when Mingyu is pestering him about the beef between him and Woozi (the younger's words), in which he always dodged and told the younger to just shut it. 

 

It is another usual bar scenario and Seungcheol did not expect to garner another visit from the famous singer-composer. 

 

Unlike on weekends, the bar is not too crowded but there are still many customers, just not like Fridays or Saturdays. He is busy tending the bar and playing bartender (except doing tricks, he cannot flip bottles without breaking them for the love of wine. So, nah!) When a figure wearing a hoodie and a masksat in front of him. The uncalled disguise intrigued Seungcheol. 

 

"Hi! I didn't see you here before. Are you new here?" He tried to voluntarily open a conversation, flashing a friendly smile in a way that doesn't imply he is flirting, only to be caught off guard once he saw those pairs of eyes. 

 

No. It can't be. 

 

"Cheol" 

 

"What are you doing here?" 

 

"Let's talk" The voice came out demanding and Sengcheol nearly showed a grim on his face. 

 

This Jihoon right here is definitely his ex from 5 years ago, no doubt. And that idea is what makes him a little disappointed because now, he is not the same Seungcheol who was always in haste to attend the younger's demands. 

 

"I'm sorry Woozi-ssi but I hope it is not something very important as I am very, way too busy, as in super busy now. As you can see." He hopes his voice didn't sound so distant and defensive. After all, he is still trying to process the idea of Jihoon suddenly barging in his life, again. Though he still hasn't cut the connection between them, being content to have a fan-artist-that-will-never-be-acquainted this is different. Starting from the talks of proximity and the content of their interactions. 

 

Why did he suddenly want to talk? Were there still things to talk about? They are not friends right? So what makes Jihoon fly to his safe haven and demand a sudden talk as if he has all the control over him again? 

There are a lot of thoughts running through his mind now. A havoc of questions and confusion moulded into a red warning flaring him signals of panic, though hardly shown in his face. Yes. Seungcheol has already forgiven him or he thought he did, but either way, isn't a talk too much to ask now when it was supposed to be long overdue half a decade ago? What's with the sudden twists of events? 

 

"Cheol. Come on. Let's talk." 

 

"Sorry, but we are really busy tonight. In fact, I am needed inside the kitchen now. So if you'll excuse me." He flashes him a hardly noticeable fake smile before turning so he can lock himself inside his office, hoping that Jihoon would bite into his lie and leave his place. He was not still over last Saturday's incident so please give him a break. 

 

"Why do you have a collection of my albums?" 

 

That question made him stop walking away. And there I was hoping he didn't see them. He bit his lip and shut his eyes trying so hard to keep his cool, before looking back to the now facemask-free singer to flash him another strained smile. 

 

"Oh. They're not mine. My roommate is a fan. By the way, please order anything. It's on the house. I really have to go now. Sorry." 

 

He wanted so badly to calm his nerves and to think rationally but with his ex right in front of him, having him sitting just across him, Seungcheol wanted to just escape the scene. The presence makes him feel easy and vulnerable, very different from when he sees him in concerts where there are thousands of people cheering and shouting, keeping him grounded and feeling unreachable. 

 

When he reached his office he locked his door and slumped to his chair, both hands resting in his head in an attempt to find peace. Until he figured he cannot do that alone. 

His still trembling fingers which seemed to have their own control dialled a familiar number. His heart went frantic in every ring. 

 

"Cheol! What's up?" 

 

"Jihoon came." 

 

"Huh? Are you in another concert?" 

 

"Jisoo, you don't understand. Jihoon came. He came. Here. At my bar." he could only bite his lips, choking up in his own voice because of the tension. 

 

"What? Why? Did anything happen?" 

 

"The first one was unintentional. I don't know what happened but when I blinked, he was in front of me telling me he missed me. And that was two days ago. I thought he would never show up again and just forget about me just like what happened before but he showed up again tonight, Jisoo. He wanted to talk. And apparently, he saw his albums all over my living room and asked about it. Jisoo. I don't know what to do!" He is probably rambling to his friend over the line but he can hardly care. He needed a breather and Jisoo is the one who can calm him in this kind of situation.

 

"Cheol. Easy there. Calm down, okay? What did you answer?" Jisoo's voice has a lot of patience in it. He doesn't want to add up to Seungcheol's distress. 

 

"I lied. I told him they're my roommate's and then I ing left. Jisoo what do I do? I don't know why I am panicking. Why did he suddenly show up? I was fine looking from afar. From being a fan! I don't know what he needs from me!" he didn't understand why he felt so affected by the younger's words. He has moved on. He is fine now. 

 

"Where is he now?" 

"I don't know. There? Or wherever. I don't know! " 

"Calm down, Seungcheol. You're just probably shocked. That's it. Now, take a breath and rest. Call Mingyu to manage the bar for you. Go to your house upstairs and sleep. I'll be there tomorrow. How's that?" 

 

Sigh. 

 

 

"Thank you, Shua.”

"Of course. Good night, Cheol."

"Good night." 

 

So that's what he did. Follow his best friend's instructions of taking a rest. He is just shocked and maybe a little overwhelmed and still shocked. Yes, he is shocked. With his mind still thinking about the incident, Seungcheol drifted to sleep inside his office. 

 

When he woke up the next morning he found himself lying on his bed inside his room. He was a little confused as the last thing he remembered is giving up to sleep inside his office alone. He made his way out his room when he heard noises coming from the living room. Only to find Wonwoo playing video games alone. 

 

"You're awake. Come here." Wonwoo paused the game and patted the unoccupied side of the couch, beckoning the older to sit beside him.

 

"Yeah. Did you carry me up to my room? Or I sleepwalked all the way there?" 

 

 

"I carried you. I visited last night and Mingyu said you were inside your office so I checked and found you asleep there. Are you hungry? I'll make you breakfast." Seungcheol gave him a sweet smile before nodding while Wonwoo ruffled his hair before standing up to go to the kitchen. 

 

 

They ate and played video games in Seungcheol's living room that morning. He was thankful Wonwoo was there to cheer him up and make him forget his dilemma temporarily. The younger one really knows how to take care of him and he is more than thankful for that. 

True to his words, Jisoo also came just after they ate their lunch and Wonwoo had to go because his boss called. He said his goodbye to Seungcheol and Jisoo but not without giving Seungcheol a peck on his temple before he disappeared after his door. 

 

 

"Remind me again that whatever you have with Wonwoo is plain platonic." Jisoo teased the moment Wonwoo closed the door on his way out. 

 

 

"You know we don't see each other that way" Seungcheol went back to where he was sitting on the side of the couch. 

 

Wonwoo. He has almost forgotten about Wonwoo. They flirt sometimes but Seungcheol knows that what they have will not really result in anything. He swears they are just very close. 

 

 

"Hmm whatever you say. Anyway, let's talk about your ex. What exactly happened?" 

Seungcheol let out a sigh. Now the matter feels real. So he told Jisoo what happened without missing any details. 

 

 

They talked. Seungcheol narrated everything that happened for the past few days but unlike last night, he was calm and Jisoo, patient as ever, listened to him which led them to one solution; to just not be affected by Jihoon's presence. Seungcheol has already moved on and as a mature adult, he should not let himself be trifled with some random ex encounters. After all, he was fine. And for the record, he has moved on. 

 

Jihoon didn't come in on Tuesday night and Seungcheol felt relieved by the absent presence of the singer-composer. Just like he thought, Jihoon will stop coming after the other night. Glad he didn't expect anything. Not that he is hoping. Sure, he didn't. 

 

Apparently, his peace only lasted a day because as Wednesday happened, Jihoon is again in his bar, sitting prettily on the bar stool and this time, shamelessly flaunting he is Lee Woozi without any mask or cap dress for disguise as if telling everyone to come and take a picture. 

 

 

"Talk to me?" Jihoon asked in which he nicely refused again making up some absurd excuses. 

 

 

That kind of scenario repeated over the week and apparently the next. Jihoon comes to his safe haven every night without any disguise and will stubbornly ask him if they could talk. 

 

The invites he passionately turns down every time. No, no, and no. Seungcheol doesn't think he'll ever allow the poor singer to talk to him. He doesn't know why the idea of having Jihoon before him, merely talking to him makes him close his mind. 

 

 

He has moved on. He is fine being a distant admirer and he would love to stay that way. He has moved on and chose to continue with his life with a faintest presence of his ex. He has tons and tons of questions to ask the younger and guess he will just leave them unanswered instead of having a trip down to memory lane with his ex. No sir, thanks. 

 

 

Their story ended five years ago. It's already a close book so no need to open them and reread the saddest part where fate decided they were never meant to be together and the bar owner has already accepted that fact. For the nth time, he has moved on. 

Seungcheol is more than content to ignore Jihoon and pretend to be busy every passing night. But there comes trouble and it is Jihoon who is causing it, well, partly since his fans are the ones who are causing it. 

 

 

There have been complaints from day one since Jihoon or should he refer to him as the infamous Lee Woozi, made an appearance to his little bar without any disguise. Because of his fame, the performers in his bar are becoming distracted and the audience barely gives them their attention, Woozi is gloating all of it. The dynamics of the small bar changed since his arrival. There are fans everywhere holding a fan or a banner with Jihoons face on it. They are so loud that it causes much inconvenience to all of the people inside. Not to mention, they are falling in line or most of the time forming circles to crowd Jihoon to take a picture or ask for an autograph or just to see him. Seungcheol let it slip, not addressing the problem his ex was causing so he wouldn't have to talk to him. Actually, Seungcheol doesn't even know what's making him scared to talk to but he paid no mind to it. What's important is not having to talk with his ex. 

 

 

He let the thing slip for a few weeks but when two of the man's fans made something that made Seungcheol and all his people really annoyed; they caused a fight inside the bar, making quite a scene inside, that's when Seungcheol decided he needed to take action. He is a businessman and he should professionally handle matters, no matter how personal it would cost him. The thing he should have done on the first day since Jihoon pestered him. 

Jihoon didn't have any clue what was going on when two girls pulled each other's hair in front of him even after they were pulled apart by the staff. He barely had time to decipher everything when Seungcheol all but took his wrist and dragged him at the back of the whole bar.

 

 

"Will you please, just stop coming here?" Seungcheol is in no mood to play nice tonight. He is so annoyed with Jihoon and his two fans. 

 

 

"Why? I didn't do anything wrong." 

 

"Jihoon you're causing trouble. You are causing me trouble. And your fans, God they're crazy. You need to stop coming here. It's not just me who you're causing inconvenience. The performers too and the staff. You need to understand. Please." The older solemnly let out. 

 

 

"But I wanted to see you. And talk. " 

 

 

"But I don't want to. Look, you're ruining my business. And those people's chance to shine on stage. I'm not doing this for myself. You have to understand. I need you to stop coming here." His voice echoing the sound of a really stressful event. He just hopes Jihoon would act like a mature being, just like him, and finally leave him alone. Isn't obvious that he dont want to talk to him? What's so hard to understand that?

 

 

"Then go out with me." 

 

 

"What?!" The hell?! Did he hear it right? 

 

 

"Go out with me and I'll stop coming here." 

"Are you out of your mind?" A talk is so hard to give what more going out with him. 

 

“No. I just want a day with you.” Seungcheol couldn’t believe this guy. 

 

 

"Just one date and I'll stop. Please" Jihoon stared directly into his eyes with conviction. The same one he is making when trying to finish a song which never fails to make Seungcheol go all soft. 

 

 

Dammit!

 

"Seriously, why are you doing this? We're not friends, aren't we?" Seungcheol’s voice is soft, tired of all the talks that's draining him. 

 

 

"Cheol, just one date and I promise, I'll stop coming here." Now he is begging. Just what the ?

 

 

"You'll leave me alone after?" He hated that he sounded convinced. What does he want from me? 

 

 

"If that's what you want. Just one date." Business or sanity? Why is this thing even happening?

 

 

Sigh. 

 

 

"Okay. Just once. Promise me you'll never come back after it." 

 

 

"Really?! I promise. I'll pick you up tomorrow?" 

 

 

"No. You can't come here. I'll just give you my number. Text me the details." Jihoon gave him his cellphone for him to type his number in which he did with his hands slightly trembling. 

 

“Okay. See you tomorrow.” No, he was not startled when Jihoon held his hand and kissed it after he registered his digits onto the device. No sir. But he just stood there even when the younger was gone with the feeling he cannot name. Maybe it was nostalgia, the way Jihoon kiss his hand after giving him a hug then whenever they parted ways or it was fear- because he can see everything replaying before his eyes, and the devastation he felt when all those moments were suddenly gone. 

 

He just heaved another sigh and decided to go back inside his haven where he can distract himself with a lot of scenarios that can go wrong. 

 

Don't make me regret this. 

 

But everyone knows he is already regretting giving Jihoon another chance to get involved in his life. 

 

 

That night, Seungcheol wanted to punch himself. What the , did he just agreed to Jihoon? What is he doing? He is screwed. 

It's just a date. One date. And it will all be over. 

 

 

What's making him so scared? He has nothing to worry about. Right? . He just wishes tomorrow wouldn't come. 

 

 

Unfortunately, it did and he barely got to sleep, not even a wink. Jihoon has also sent him the details and Seungcheol wanted to just have a nightmare and die that same night. He even thinks of playing Ouija alone so the spirit will bother him or anything, he just wants to stop tomorrow from happening. Remind him why he agreed again? Oh right, because of his damn business and for his performers sake. Feelings? What feelings? 

 

 

“Are you ready?” Seungcheol woke up from his reverie when Jihoon spoke. Oh damn, right! The day that Seungcheol fears is happening. 

 

“Where are we going?” Jihoon just gave him a sweet smile, if he clutched his seat belt too tight, no one has to know. 

 

The ride was full of tension, or at least it's what Seungcheol feels. It was silent, like they are testing how to act with each other. It feels weird because they used to not to. It used to be always comfortable, even with the silence but years have made the silence suffocating that Seungcheol just contented himself to watch the road. It seems like Jihoon felt it too, making the first move to talk. 

 

“Are you hungry? I hope not really because you will definitely love the food there. But if you're hungry we can stop by McDonalds and grab some bites?” The younger tried to sound unfazed and confident, like he was sure what he was doing but his voice gave his nervousness away. 

 

“Jihoon, why are you doing all of these, really? there is no point pretending they are okay, that nothing was wrong between them, that this sudden date and chase is something unusual, right? 

 

He noticed how Jihoons jaw tensed a little, his grip on the steering wheel was tight before he let out a defeated sigh, his eyes bore into Seungcheol, piercing him a gaze like he was ready to plead? Cry? Seuncheol don't really get the expression, but he recognizes conviction, same old Jihoon. 

 

“Honestly, I dont know.” He was about to in but Jihoons mouth opened again. “But I do have plans. Just please, just trust me today. Just give me this day, Cheol, promise just this day and after this, if you wanted me to stay away, Ill leave you alone like what I've promised. Just give me this day.”

 

There was a pregnant pause, as if they were both testing their boundaries. It stays like that for a moment before Cheol decides it is his time to speak. At least give an answer that makes sense. 

 

“Let's have fries and cola.”

He saw the hands that were gripping the steering wheels a while ago tightly, relaxing. 

 

“Mcdonalds it is.” He can feel Jihoon giving him a smile even when he was not looking, just busying himself looking outside the window. He just hopes trusting Jihoon this time is the right decision. 

 

The ride was a little longer than Seungcheol as expected. He still doesn't know where in hell Jihoon is taking him. He already slept for minutes listening to his playlist in which Jihoon gave him the permission to be connected into the aux and be played in the car. (He made sure it was the playlist that had no Woozis). 

 

Seungcheol does not really understand Jihoon and his plans for the day. He just followed, not questioning the places Jihoon took him to. First was in his studio where he latter composes his songs and spends almost all of his time there. He just admired the little room that witnessed all of Woozis songs come to life, trying hard not to ask why there is a picture of him and Jihoon on the table which was probably taken when they were still together. He also met Lee Chan, Jihoon’s manager. 

 

For the second stop, Jihoon took him to one restaurant that his friend, Kang Daniel owned. True to his words, Seungcheol really did enjoy the food Jihoon ordered. So far, he enjoyed whatever Jihoon had prepared for him. 

 

“We're here.” Jihoon announced. And Seungcheol is quick to look outside the window again and see where they are. It is the third stop. When they finished eating, Seungcheol thought that the date was over, not until Jihoon told him that there is that one place that Jihoon wanted Seungcheol to see. Without pretty much preamble, Seungcheol just let him. 

 

The place looks so familiar. That's what he thought when he got out of the car. It is too familiar like Seungcheol felt like he once belonged in the area. 

 

It changed a lot but the nostalgia is bringing him a lot of memories, the good like that one night of his birthday where the young first kissed him. The fondness of yesterday where he felt like he did not need anything anymore but 'him'. But also the bad where it was raining. The flash of hurt when he saw him kissing a girl as if he was not committed to him, as if he did not matter. How he was ready to beg and even forgive all of what he's done wrong. Why did Jihoon take him here?  

 

“Jun, I found him.”  

 

Seungcheol looked at the man hearing how Jihoon spat his words of amusement. Is he referring to me? Found? Didn't he kick me out of his existence? 

 

"Cheol hyung!" Before he could greet the familiar man, it beat him to it, hugging him first tightly. When he was engulfed by the warmth, he remembered that he did not even gotta say goodbye when he left with a wounded heart. 

 

"Hi Junnie." 

 

"How are you, hyung? You look good, I mean of course you were good looking back then but really, you're more good-looking today. Is Jihoonie here treating you well? I hope he is because I'll smack him if he's not. Speaking of, are you two back together?"  

 

Jun must have felt the sudden tension that crossed the air cause he muttered a small 'oh' under his breath. Even Jihoon was glued to his spot having trouble how to respond. 

 

"No Jun. We're just hanging out. By the way, you look great too. And more professional looking." 

 

"Heh-heh. Thank you, hyung. Ahm hyung I am needed somewhere so I have to leave early. But I am really glad to see you. Feel free to place an order, it's on the house." Jun hugged him once and then Jihoon before he said his goodbye because he really needs to leave for something, (also to escape that tension) 

 

After that encounter with Jun, Jihoon led him to another corner of the old bar that is now a restaurant now, with a singer singing a ballad just like before but now, it's cozier. 

 

They are yet again engulfed with silence, measuring each other's presence, testing how to move as if they have forgotten how synced they used to be, how they can talk with just their breaths. Now, the silence that used to console both of them is suffocating. 

 

"This place has changed a lot since the last time." Seungcheol chose to comment. 

 

"It has. Jun took care of everything. When you left, Mr. Oh died two weeks after. This bar is a mess because of the old man's debt but Jun decided to use the money he saved to run the place and he took over his uncle." And after that, it's quiet again. Seungcheol wonders why despite all of their attempts to start a conversation and be normal adults, they cannot do it. This is the price of what happened years ago. He realised, it is still punishing them. 

 

After a minute of silence, Jihoon spoke. Those words made him attentive like he should listen to every word in case he missed the importance of those. 

 

Last time we were both here, it is not really a good memory for the two of us. So I wanted to bring you here to at least replace that with a new memory, at least not as bad as before. 

 

"Okay" Seungcheol breathed nonchalantly. Truth is, he doesn't know what to feel anymore. He has forgotten to react because all of today overwhelms him. What is the purpose of all of these? Jihoon better not tell him he just wants to reminisce because they both know that's bull. It is not recreating a memory. These are all about the past, in which Seungcheol had already been forced to forget. 

 

“I never got to say sorry for the things I did to you. But Cheol, I want you to know that I am so sorry for hurting you. I am sorry for everything. “

 

“Do you want to know the truth, Jihoon? I feel like I need to tell you this because If I am going to forgive you wholeheartedly, I need to be honest with you, too." This is the first time Seungcheol used the soft voice he was using years before. The gentle one that Jihoon longs to hear. 

 

"I was so hurt. When I saw you kiss her when I begged you to take me home, all of it was a painful memory. All of it rushed back to me when you took me here. I was starting to think this is a bad decision.I was so mad at you because you made me feel things so ugly that I hated myself. "

 

"I'm sorry." 

 

"When you cheated, it is not just the fact that you cheated. You made me feel I was not enough. Like there was something wrong with me because if not, then why would you cheat? You made me feel insecure that I almost believe and give in to those insecurities. It took me years to heal myself and stand again. That’s how badly hurt I was and it was a long process to regain my confidence back. But no worries, I have forgiven you. Sincerely, But to the extent of letting you in again, Jihoon is that too much to ask of me? Considering those things? I hope you understand why I am still not ready to welcome you in my life just yet." 

 

"I understand. " Seungcheol didn't know if it was his imagination or the sound of Jihoon's defeated voice made his inside clenched and if it's not, he chose not to comment.

 

The ride back to Seungcheol's is silent but unlike all of the silence they encountered earlier, this one is bearable if not comfortable. Maybe they are just tired with all of those emotions they felt in just a day or maybe they are still weighing the tension. 

 

It was a surprise that Jihoon's car halted to stop on some road familiar to both of them, perhaps it is because it is a ride away from Seungcheol's place. 

 

Seungcheol has grown worried that the car broke in the middle of the road but Jihoon's breathing is telling him that it has to be on purpose. And just when the silence felt overbearing, Jihoon chose to confess.

 

“I planned all of it.” Jihoon is looking down, afraid to see the eolder’s reaction to things that are about to unfold. 

 

"Huh? Plan what?" He is now looking at Jihoon with a huge question mark littering his face. 

 

"Cheol there's something you need to know." Seungcheol how Jihoon's face contorted into something he cannot decipher. It seems like the younger is having a lot of trouble wording what he has to say. 

 

"That night, when that night happened, I planned it. I hurt you on purpose." 

 

"Jihoon, I don't understand. What do you mean?"

 

"A week before you thought I cheated, I saw your mother's letters you hid in the unused cupboard. I saw the admission letter from NYU. So I faked-cheated. I planned all of it to make you leave." Jihoon is still not looking at him, just wallowing in his own clouds of worries, too afraid to see how Seungcheol would react to his revelation. 

 

"What?!Why would you do that?" 

 

"I... I know it's your dream. I know it was the best for you even if it means breaking us both apart because I want you to follow your dream. I don't want to be selfish and cage you inside me and my dream. I don't want to be the reason why you did not achieve your own dreams." 

 

"What?!" 

 

"It's for you. I did those for you." Finally, Jihoon had gathered the courage to look at his ex lover, all of his emotions were in his face that Seungcheol felt lost for a moment before he decided to let those words sink in. 

 

"No Jihoon. It's not for me. Do you think that's selfless? Who are you to dictate what's good for me? Jihoon, you took my right to decide from me? And you think you did me a favour? You did yourself a favour. Not me! Have you ever asked me what my dream actually was? What I actually wanted? You decided for me without consulting me first! How is that selfless?" Seungcheol cannot believe this. He cannot believe what Jihoon did. 

 

"I did that because it's your future! I chose to hurt you so you could achieve your dream. I don't want you to be caged in me. I did those for you, Seungcheol." The older one wanted to scream. To hurt Jihoon the way the younger hurt him. Because suddenly, all of that pain decided to stab him again. And this time, it's twice the pain. 

 

"You did that because you wanted to prove something to yourself. It's because you're afraid I will blame you for the things I did not even want. It was my dream, yes. But can't I achieve those without you hurting me? Do you not believe I can? Jihoon, that's selfish. You said it was my future so who do you think you are to decide on those things? It should have been me who got to decide on those. God it's my life! You took my right away from me. You chose to hurt me. How can I look at you now after knowing what you did?" His voice is levelled, it was as if talking to Jihoon exhausts him. 

 

"Seungcheol. I know it's my fault. I'm so sorry. Give me another chance. I'll make up to you. I still love you, Cheollie. Please. Can't you give me one last chance?" He knows he looks pathetic asking Seungcheol to accept him and maybe forgive him. But it's fine. As long as it's Seungcheol. Always for Seungcheol.  

 

"Jihoon. I'm tired. Please just let me rest." 

 

"I understand. I'll take you home."

 

"No. I can go home alone" 

 

"But-"

 

"And do me a favor please.--leave my life." Jihoon looked at him defetedly. 

 

"Do you really want that?" 

 

"Yes." 

 

"I... If that's what you want." 

 

"Goodbye Jihoon. Please don't make our paths cross again." Seungcheol uttered before completely shutting the car's door, not even waiting for Jihoon to reply. He just want an out. 

 

It feels like a farewell dropping those words. Well, after this night, he doesn't even know if he wants to face Jihoon again.

 

Lately, the night has been cold but it is never this bad. It feels like every snowflake decided to fall right on Seungcheol's head and stab him on its fall. It feels too much. He continues to walk down his lonely path, never minding his true destination. 

 

Is it bad that he heard those things from the younger? Would it be better if Jihoon did not tell him those things and make him believe that he cheated instead? Because dammit! It feels ten times more painful to think that Jihoon did not choose him- that Jihoon gave up on him in the mindset of freeing him which caused more damage than what he actually intended. 

 

Seungcheol was too numb and too occupied about a lot of things; his feelings, Jihoon's, and more importantly, why is he so afflicted about all of it when it happened in the past now. Why is it so painful? Why is it so hard to breathe at this moment? 

 

He is not crying. Just basking with the feeling of loneliness and coldness of the night. His head is on the space that he did not even realise he reached Jisoo's apartment. He just stood there, trying to catch his breathing, staring down at his shoes. 

 

He doesn't even have to knock because the door suddenly fell open, revealing the startled Jisoo who seems to be heading out. 

 

"Cheol" 

 

As if on cue, the tears he has been holding poured out, making him drop on his knees letting out anguish cries. 

 

His friend was quick to hug him tight to make him feel he was not alone. That Jisoo is there whatever it takes. And seeing his friend in that state of brokenness shattered his heart because if Jisoo is going to count a few good people in this world, Seungcheol would make it to his list. It's a pity Seungcheol has to experience this kind of pain. 

 

It took them ten minutes of Seungcheol breaking down on his doorstep to finally lure him inside Jisoo's living room. The last time Jisoo saw the older cry this much was too long ago, when they first met at the bar in New York and Seungcheol was so wasted. But after those years, he thought the older had made peace with the Jihoon matter.

 

There was a breath of silence before Seungcheol chose to tell Jisoo what happened. 

 

 

"I was with Jihoon" 

And from that statement alone, the younger one knew it was a big deal. After all, only Jihoon has the power to break the resilience in Seungcheol. 

 

 

"Jisoo I thought I've already moved on and forgave him. But no. Until now, it still hurts. It still ing hurts. And I don't know what to do." Jisoo his hair, letting Seungcheol talk- to let out those emotions he long ago left unsaid. It just really takes time to explode and finally let out those. 

 

"It hurts to see him up close. It was like five years ago again when he cheated on me and he pushed me away. But what hurts the most is knowing he did all of that on purpose and chose to break me with his decisions without consulting me first. I wanted to be angry at him. To punch him in the face and just... . Jisoo I wanted to hate him so bad."

 

"I thought things would get better if I knew his reason but it didn't. “

 

After tonight, he was still in love. He realised how long he had concealed that fact because he was hurt too bad. How easy it was to welcome his presence back because all those times he was gone, all those nights Seungcheol cries, despite all of the denial of moving on, Seungcheol is still there with his feelings. Jihoon's name was hexed in him because all of these times, he is still smitten. 

 

"After this night, I will not let him have the power to affect me. At least I finally know his reason. Let's just hope it makes me sleep at peace at night." 

 

This is another kind of heartbreak. When Seungcheol thought he was able to stitch up and leave the old wound as it is, a stubborn itch made him scratch the scar and made it bleed. Hw wonders how much more hurt Jihoon is going to cause him. Tonight, he promised himself it would be the last time Jihoon would consume all of him as he fell asleep crying on Jisoo’s couch. 

 

The next morning, Wonwoo fetched him at Jisoo’s house without any question. He just looks at Seungcheol’s puffy eyes and hugs the elder one. Times like these, Seungcheol wonders why can’t he just fall for the younger. If things were like that, it would have been easy. Why can’t he have it easy? 

 

Cheol's life is supposed to be peaceful. His questions are finally answered and there's no more Jihoon pestering him. but he found himself seeking for the younger again. 

 

He promised himself he will forget about Jihoon but doing that is not easy.

 

Days have become weeks and Seungcheol knows for sure he is being miserable. 

 

He is sure to keep himself busy working and making sure his bar is doing okay but you can’t deny that he is not himself these past weeks. Usually, he drinks and mingles with the others and enjoys the hype-up crowd but lately, he has been locking himself inside his office if he is not manning the bar alongside Jeonghan the bartender, having a perfect view from the entrance. 

 

Every night he looks at the door as if willing someone to show up. 

He is distracted most of the time, especially that one night when one of the performers covered Woozi’s song. He spilled 3 beers and stabbed his foot in one of the chairs. It’s pathetic and Mingyu and Minghao have been noticing his misery as well but they chose not to say anything. They thought he was just stressed and exhausted these previous days because apparently, Woozi’s visits resulted in a crowd flocking his bar. It has become more popular to the point Seungcheol has to double the amount of his staff to cater to his customers. He is thankful for the younger for that but at the same time he is still irritated. 

 

He totally needs to get a hold of himself. Maybe he needs to take a day off because he feels like he is starting to go crazy. He decided to call Wonwoo. 

 

It was fun. Like always when he is with Wonwoo. They played games and trash talked to each other. Wonwoo even let him win one time because Seuncheol is already whining and pouting. 

 

“Do you not have work?” Wownwoo asked when the clock read 9:17 PM. 

 

“I took a day off. Minghao is in-charge and Mingyu is helping out. Do you want to watch tv?” Seungcheol moved up to rest his back on the couch while Wonwoo handed him the remote to set up the tv. 

 

Hw would have felt relaxed and thankful that today is a Jihoon free kind of day but when the TV turns on, it was his face on the news, probably for his new album that is set to release next month. And no, Seungcheol is not keeping tabs. 

 

“You can call him, you know?” Wownoo said when he immediately shut off the TV. 

 

 

“What are you saying?”

 

 

“I know you miss him. Jisoo told me what happened when I fetched you.” Wownoo sat up from where he was lying on the couch and faced Seungcheol seriously. 

 

 “Who said I miss him?” The stubborn Seuncgheol tossed the remote to his center table as if it physically offended him. 

 

“Come on, Cheol. I know we said we will forget about that one time we both drank too much and hooked up. But hyung, I know how much you still love him that even though I was the one kissing you, you were calling for his name.” 

 

Seungcheol looked at him in disbelief, ready to deny and defend himself before he realized what he did. And suddenly, he felt ashamed about it. What is the thinking?

 

It happened a day after Jihoon confessed to him what he did. He and Wownoo were so drunk. They promised each other they will not talk about it. It was a mistake. Seungcheol was high on emotions and Wownoo, god, Wownoo is just so kind and patient with him that Seungcheoil starts to question if he deserved him. Because he knows Wonwoo does not deserve what he did. Sober or not. 

 

“I’m sorry “ 

 

“It’s fine. I care about you but I know you are a heartbreak waiting to happen. That is why I did not act upon those tiny feelings. I’m fine. It’s not as if I was in love with you.”

 

“I’m sorry” is all he can say and he means it. 

 

“I’m telling you I have made peace with it. I'm fine being right there for you, Cheol. If you still want Woozi, I mean Jihoon, try to talk to him. The reason why you are both hurting is because you both don’t know how to communicate. Talk to him. If it doesn't work out then you have a closure. I hate to see you like this.” 

 

“Thank you. You know I love you, right?” He joined Wownoo on the couch and hugged him tight. 

 

“I know. I do too. But settle things with Jihoon. You’re a mess.” the other hugged him back. He wants Wonwoo to know he is sorry and thankful to him through the hug. He still feels guilty. Wownoo deserves all the best in the world. Especially a love that is reciprocated. And Seungheol will always wish for that. 

 

 

“I-I will think about it.” 

 

 

“Cheol,. I mean it. 

 

 

 

“You are surprisingly chatty today. “ Seuncheol hit the other lightly in the shoulder while they were still locked into a hug.

 

“Savor it then.” and they both chuckled. If only our hearts can choose who to fall in love with.

 

___

 

 

Seungcheol did think about it. In fact it was what he all thought about. He said he will think about it but not act upon it. He feels scared. He knows Wonwoo told him it’s fine even if it doesn't work out. But what if it really doesn't work out? He knows a part of him still longs to be with Jihoon. Is he really ready to let go?

 

When he said he moved on before, it was true. He just doesn't foresee that he has to move on again after being fine for a long time. Jihoon told him he still loves him. But they both know for a fact that love is not enough to make a relationship work. Can he trust Jihoon again after what happened?

 

It has been a week after the talk he had with Wownoo but Seuncgeol is still lost. How the hell do others get closure? It’s not as if they were in a relationship recently. Their break up was five years ago.

 

He wished he knew the answer to all of his questions. He is going crazy thinking about Jihoon, Jihoon, Jihoon. What happened to not letting him consume me again? 

 

“Hyung, you okay?” Mingyu elbowed him on the side. It feels like deja vu except this time there is no person holding his wrist in front of the crowd. 

 

“I’m fine. Just a little drunk.” He moves to drink his beer. 

 

“Not drunker than that” Mingyu laughs while pointing at the crying Seungkwan while Hansol rubs his back. 

 

They laughed as Seungkwan let out another sob of how much he loves Hansol and their pet dog Chie Chie. 

 

Right. They are celebrating Seungknwan’s birthday. All of his friends are here. Even his best friend Jisoo is drunk flirting with the bartender, Jeonghan. Wonwoo just wished Seungkwan a happy birthday before he went on a date with this Soonyoung guy. He should be okay and content. He is surrounded by the people he loves. But he can still say that something is missing. Rather, someone. 

 

He shrugged off that thought and just enjoyed the antics his friends are into. 

 

 

3 more beers and a singing drunk Seokmin, Seungcheol can feel his surroundings spinning. He laughed at Seokmin's impersonation of some comedian they see on TV. His friends are not normal as per Jisoo’s words. Seungcheol can’t deny that. In fact he too, has gone drunk and crazy. 

 

He finds himself dialling a number while he sits up on the bar watching Jisoo and Jeonghan now faces in the corner near the bathroom. It could've been him and a certain someone. Had it not been for that someone breaking his heart for the second time just weeks ago. 

 

“Cheol?” He was startled when he heard that one voice he could recognize everywhere. 

 

“I hate you. But I miss you. Is that even possible?” 

 

There was no answer for a few seconds that Seungcheol thought the line got disconnected. Until Jihoon spoke again, seemingly careful on his words. 

 

“Seungcheol, are you drunk?” The older one chuckled. Oh god, how Jihoon missed that. 

 

“How did you know? Are you here? When are you coming here? Why did you stop coming? Are you tired of me already?”  

 

“Cheol I–”

 

“I was content watching you from afar, when you are on stage and shining while you sing, I was happy. Finally you reached your dreams. Dreams we used to dream together in that crappy apartment of yours. Remember? You strum your guitar while you let me sing. You told me, one day. One day, you will write the best love letter and sing it to me?” Seungcheol did not recognize he was crying. Jihoon. He misses Jihoon. 

 

“...”

 

“Why can’t we do that now? I am mad but I miss you so bad it makes me crazy. We could have been happy in those five years. Why did we keep on hurting each other? Jihoon, please. I miss you. I love you. “

 

“Do you mean that? Where are you?” He heard some noises in the background then an ignition of some car. 

 

“I miss you. I miss you. “ Seungcheol was so drunk and out of it. His heart is aching while his head is spinning. He wishes he also could have it easy with Jihoon. Like Hansol and Seungkwan. He wants to be held by Jihoon again. Where it feels warm and safe. Where everything seems okay. When all they have is each other and a dream. 

 

He misses Jihoon. So Bad. That’s the last thing he remembers before passing out on his bar counter. 

_____________

 

“J–Jihoon?!” Seungcheol nearly slipped on the floor when he saw someone sitting on his couch the moment he left his room. It was as if he saw a ghost. 

 

Which is true. It was a ghost from his past. 

 

“Good morning?” Jihoon said, putting his phone down. He was playing some mobile games earlier while waiting for Seungcheol to wake up. 

 

 

“What are you doing here?” 

 

“Is your head okay? C’mon I made you coffee just how you like” He got up to lead the elder to his kitchen. It was as if Jihoon knew every in and out of Seungcheol’s house. What the hell is Jihoon doing in his house in the first place? Before he could ask again. The unwelcome guest spoke again. 

 

“You called me last night. You were so drunk I had to carry you from your bar counter to your room. Mingyu gave me your key.” Mingyu, that traitor. 

 

Jihoon handed him his coffee. He also saw that the younger one already prepared breakfast for them. Just how drunk was he last night to summon this little demon? 

 

“Did..Did I say something crazy?” Seungcheol asked nervously. Oh god. He is so damn honest when drunk. What was he thinking of calling Jihoon? But he knows a part of him wanted to do that, sober or not. He would have done it if not last night. 

 

“Just that you miss me and you love me.” 

 

“That’s why you came? Why are you not freaking out?” He can’t even take a sip of his coffee while Jihoon looks so relaxed getting a spoon and fork from one of his cabinets. 

 

“I was planning on talking to you anyway. You just beat me to it. “

 

“Why?”

 

“Do you mean it?”

 

“Mean what?” He watches as Jihoon brings his chair closer to him. Watch him, take his hands on his and kiss it like he used to do. Every morning after breakfast Jihoon has to go to his part time job in the grocery store, he kisses his hand and tells him he loves Seungcheol. 

 

 

“What you said last night. Because Cheol, I feel the same. And I want to make it right. With you. If you’d let me.”

 

“Jihoon.” Seungcheol wanted to cry. His heart is so full. Because where is the love of his life, asking him to try again and 

 

“I know what I did is unforgivable .and I am willing to make it up to you for the rest of my life, just…. Just please. Cheol. Please be mine again. This time we will tell each other everything and I promise I will never decide on your life and personal choices unless you ask me to.I am so sorry and I miss you too.” Seungcheol misses him so badly too he wants to kiss him right now to let him know how much. So that’s what he did. He grabbed the younger one on his neck while Jihoon traced his back down to his waist, tasting every corner of his mouth. 

 

They made mistakes. Bad choices. They might hurt each other again but Seungcheol knows it will be different this time. They just need to talk about it. Because while love is not enough to make a relationship work, they love each other enough to work on things and try to make it last this time. 

 

 

“Ji, I am so sorry but I am still so hungover for this.. Can we talk about the past later and eat first? Then kiss me again after?” Seungcheol was thankful he brushed his teeth first when he woke up before going to his living room.

 

“Of course. Whatever you want.” Jihoon pecked him on the lips one last time. 

 

“No words needed right?” 

 

“No words needed”

 

 

Weeks later, Woozi’s new single 1,2,3,4 trended along with Hey there, Delilah because finally, Delilah was his again and this time Jihoon wouldn't let him slip away.