“Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay?”

I open the door to my apartment, tossing in my bag from the previous night before turning around to look at my glossy-eyed friend.

I softly smile at him in lieu of a response and he drops his head, a faint, broken whisper escaping his lips, “I know”

My feet lead myself to stand in front of him, holding his hand in mine as my free one lifts his face so I can look at him. He bites his bottom lip to keep it from quivering as a few tears slip down his cheeks.

I take my time studying his face. His strong, unique brows are knit together, the tip of his cute nose is red, his kissable cheeks are flushed strawberry pink, his big eyes that hold galaxies are puffy, the scar on his cheekbone, the acne scars, the freckle under his mouth and on the bridge of his nose. 

I know it’s my time to leave.

This isn’t my art to admire anymore.

Today is the day I give him away.

My chest feels heavy enough to cement me to the spot I’m standing in and yet I know I can’t give in to the desire.

“Can’t… can’t you at least come.. to the ceremony?” His eyes meet mine and his crooked bottom lip shakes.

I hate to see him like this. I feel horrible but… I have to.

“Jungkook… You said you can’t do this anymore..” I look down at my fingers laced with his as the hot tears from my eyes start to burn. “I don’t want to draw this out more than I have to.”

He pulls me into a tight hug and I wrap my arms around his waist, we stay for a minute before I pull away to take a step back.

“You have to go, Jungkook… I don’t want you to be late” I shake my head and turn around to head up the small staircase.

“I don’t care, I can be late, they don’t matter right now” he lashes out which causes me to stop in my tracks, every fiber in my being stalls. 

He’s never raised his voice at me before.

What kind of groom is okay with being late to his own wedding because of another woman?

“Don’t say that” I feel my voice shake as mirrored in my knees as I force myself to continue to reach my doorway.

“Audry-”

“If you ever need me… like seriously need me… just call.” I look back at Jungkook who followed me up the stairs.

“Audry-”

“Hey-” I gently press my lips to his cheek before I pull back and rub my thumb over the spot I just kissed, “I love you”

His eyes flutter open and meet mine, he looks over my face, searching for any sign that I’m lying.

I’m not.

With a soft smile, I step into my apartment and shut the door.

A period at the end of this chapter of him and me.

______________________

3 years later.

I think about him every day despite trying not to but today… today is the one day I let myself be consumed in his memory.

It’s their anniversary.

Ours too, yet, for a much more somber occasion.

I’ve dated, had one boyfriend, but I have yet to fall in love. I can’t tell if it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that I won’t love another man or if I really won’t find someone. I know he’d want me to be happy, that’s why I’ve tried and put myself out there.

Just without much luck… I guess because I’m doing it for the wrong reason still. It’s not for me.

I plop down on my bed an