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i don't love youchaewon hates social gatherings.
it's not that she hates her friends, but she just thinks that the time and money spent during gatherings could be put to better use.
but karaokes are different, because all of her friends sing well and chaewon loves hearing eunbi's voice.
(also, who could ever say no to free alcohol?)
-
it's 11.30pm and they've been at this karaoke place for two hours.
the microphone has been passed around a lot, but most of the songs were sung by yuri and yena, who are now korea's top vocalist duo.
chaewon parked herself at the corner couch the moment they came in.
it's far away enough for her to not be pressured to sing, but near enough to be able to drink as much vodka as she wants.
eunbi is sitting on the opposite end, and chaeyeon is three seats away from her.
she watches chaeyeon who's looking at eunbi like she singlehandedly put the stars in the sky.
eunbi looks back at chaeyeon and they share a small smile.
small, but so full of feelings, so full of love.
chaewon looks away from them and pours herself another shot.
-
it's 12.45am when eunbi finally decides to sing.
"what song do you want, eunbi unnie?" yujin asks. she's seated in front of the panel.
chaewon feels eunbi's eyes linger on her, but she doesn't look up from her phone.
(she's scared she'll see what she doesn't want to in eunbi's eyes)
"urban zakapa's i don't love you," she hears eunbi tell yujin.
chaewon looks up from her phone and at eunbi, who's only looking at the screen now.
the room suddenly quietens down, and you know it's bad when even the fun-loving yujin looks tense.
chaewon almost feels like she could hear all the unasked questions everyone had.
it's not like her friends didn't know her relationship with eunbi wasn't the same anymore, but they probably didn't expect eunbi to be so forthright with it.
eunbi picks the mic up, and the song starts.
what should I say?
where do I start?
i'm only hanging my head
you’re looking at me
in this awkward silence
i don’t love you
i’m sure you already know
even when I see you shedding tears
my heart doesn’t ache anymore
and chaewon does.
of course she does.
she knows it so well she doesn't even feel the need to cry anymore.
chaewon knows eunbi is avoiding eye contact, and she understands why.
chaewon also knows that minju is looking at her with pity, but chaewon ignores it. she didn't need to be pitied by someone else when she already pitied herself so much.
so she just continues listening, pretending as if eunbi wasn't singing the song to her.
there’s no other reason
i don’t even want to say
i'm sorry or forgive me
that’s all
this is how I really feel
i don’t love you
eunbi's almost in tears towards the last few lines, and chaewon wants to hug her, but she knows that it's not her place to do so anymore.
after she finishes the last line, eunbi runs out of the room.
(chaewon wonders why eunbi was the one crying. she wasn't the one who was still in love.)
chaeyeon immediately follows after her, and chaewon merely pours herself another shot.
she's about to down it, about to bandage the wound in her heart, when wonyoung speaks.
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