The clicking of the clock at the back of the room ticked in perfect unison with the thrumming of “Office Waiting Room Music: 10 HOURS” playing on the overhead speakers. Baby blue walls and a set of building blocks in the corner, the room resembled a sparse children’s nursery, save for the only people in the room being two full grown men.

Seated at opposite ends of a metal coffee table, one sat with his hands shoved between his thighs and feet tucked beneath his chair, a nervous jitter in his feet, while the other made use of the building blocks and began levitating them into one giant tower. Neither looked at the other.

“It’s uh…it’s supposed to be um…” one finally spoke. He gestured to around the room; to the block tower he’d created. He cleared his throat. “It’s supposed to be calming.”

Silence. The clock was still ticking in time with the music.

“No, this was a bad idea. Terrible idea, actually.” The other stood from his seat, chair scraping and block tower toppling to the floor. “I shouldn’t have come.”

“Sung—,”

Before either could move or say another word, the door opened to reveal a man in a blue robe and gummy smile.

“Sungjong! Myungsoo! Amazing! You both made it.” He entered the room carrying a manila folder and two glasses of water floating behind him. He set them down on the table as if not noticing the mess or the awkward tension. Eyeing the two of them, he said, “C’mon, Sungjong, chairs are made to be sat in.”

With a begrudging look and some hesitance, Sungjong once again took his seat across from Kim Myungsoo, looking anywhere around the room except at each other.

O

From inducing sweet dreams and past memories, to increasing wound healing rates, there was a potion for everything. Nearly. For years, concoction of potions which tampered with emotions, mood, or a person’s wakeful perception of reality were strictly prohibited. Partially due to the complexity of the formula needed to manipulate a person’s state of mind, but mostly due to past attempts having been…historically disastrous. Reality altering potions were illegal, at least till the recent administration.

Several grants had been given to some low-powered studies to better perfect the craft of creating mood and reality altering potions. And, by some miracle, Lee Sungyeol had been appointed as head magician for the pilot human study of the first legal love potion.

Sungyeol spent the entirety of their meeting explaining the study to both Myungsoo and Sungjong. Explaining how they would be given five dosages over a course of ten days and the potential risks involved. He even filled in the gaps in time with explaining further the justification for the study, something about flowers watered with the potion having their pollen more likely to germinate with each other…or something. It was difficult to gauge whether either were truly listening. He handed them consent papers with details of the test and told them to have them signed and handed back to him by the end of the weekend.

“Call me if you have any questions,” he said with a wink before leaving as abruptly as he’d come.

“Hey. You’re going this way, too?”

Sungjong was startled. Myungsoo had caught up with him at the station. He was holding a briefcase and the papers Sungyeol hand given them. Sungjong stared for a moment, lips pressed firmly together, deciding whether to respond.

“Yeah,” he finally said.

“Oh.” Myungsoo nodded. “Why?”

“I have some errands to run.”

“I see…”

By the time the train arrived, almost all seats and standing hooks taken, leaving Sungjong and Myungsoo to stand pressed awkwardly by the door, bodies only a breath apart. Both had their faces turned to not be staring directly at one another.

“So, how’ve you been?”

Sungjong raised a brow. The question came just as he stumbled when the train jolted. Myungsoo naturally circled an arm around his waist and pulled him close to keep him from falling. He mumbled a low ‘thank you’ and fully expected him to let go. He didn’t.

“Listen, Myungsoo,” he said. He shifted to squirm out of the hold. “I think we’re both adult enough to know that this entire thing is a terrible idea. At least for us.”

Myungsoo gave him a look. Sungjong sighed.

“I’m going to tell Sungyeol I can’t do the study,” he explained calmly, “not with you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sungjong rolled his eyes.

“You know exactly what that means. And if you cared about Sungyeol and the integrity of his study you would agree with my decision, too.”

Myungsoo looked offended.

“What?”

“Sungyeol was my roommate for five years and is my best friend, and you’re lecturing me about ‘if I cared about him and the integrity of his study’? What even is he to you?”

Sungjong narrowed his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek. The passing of street signs flowed overhead.

“We dated.”

Myungsoo scoffed.

“Right. And we both know how much you care about your exes.”

The words came out scathing, biting. Sungjong flinched, and Myungsoo realized he’d raised his voice just a beat too late.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—,”

“Save it,” Sungjong interrupted. The train had come to a stop.

The doors opened and Sungjong stepped out. It wasn’t his stop, but he’d rather wait for another train than spend another moment together with Kim Myungsoo.

“Just to be clear,” He turned back, just in time to get one last word in before the doors closed. “The only ex I didn’t like after the fact, was you.”

O

“Wow, and then you left?”

“Yes. Why?”

Sungjong flicked a finger to turn a page of a book he was only half reading.

His kitchen was in careful calculated chaos as unmanned knives chopped grocery store produce and clumps of salt flew about into a sautéing pan on the stove. The image of his longtime friend, Lee Howon, being projected in the small jeweled mirror in his hand frowned as a pair of chopsticks speared through the air.

He had called Howon shortly after returning to his apartment, beginning their conversation with a rant about everything that had happened that morning.

“Nothing. But aren’t you still supposed to do this love potion thing with him? Those are some harsh words to someone trying to apologize.”

“He was always like that, getting upset over the smallest things and then trying to apologize.”

“As most normal people would…” Howon reasoned

Sungjong ignored him.

A crash was heard as the knife that had been cutting mushrooms fell to the tiled floor.

“.”

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Sungjong grunted as he physically picked up the knife and chunks of mushroom from the floor. Another crash was heard as a bowl and jar of chili paste collided into each other. “.”

“Wow, clumsy. This whole Myungsoo thing is really getting to you. Want to talk about it?”

“One, the Myungsoo thing isn’t ‘getting to me’. And two,” he grunted and dumped the broken glass into the trash, “there isn’t anything to talk about. I told you everything.”

Lunch was almost done and there was nothing left to potentially break, but Sungjong manually turned off the stove and plated everything physically just to be sure. He propped the small jeweled mirror on top of his book on the counter and watched as Howon pressed his lips to a thin line.

Sungjong, ironically, mirrored his expression.

“Say it.”

“Are you sure you don’t secretly want to do the study?—don’t turn me off!” Howon pointed an accusatory finger just as Sungjong lifted his hand to the glass. He stopped and lowered his hand. “Maybe somewhere deep down, you think this study is the exact thing you need to find closure? We all want to confront that one relationship that ended in bitter tears.”

“Bitter tears my . My tears taste like ing sugar.”

“And an unbelievable amount of snot.”

Sungjong stuck his tongue out in defiance.

“Okay. Sure. That thought did cross my mind. But this isn’t just some normal confrontation with a past boyfriend. This is participating in a love potion study with a past boyfriend.”

“And, what? You’re afraid you'll fall back in love with him?”

“I didn’t think it needed to be explicitly said, but yes. There are reasons we didn’t work the first time, and to knowingly put myself in a situation where I could fall in love—or worse—become obsessed with him?”

“I mean, first trials usually never work.”

“Are you referring to the study or our relationship?”

Howon shrugged. Sungjong rolled his eyes and started spearing into his lunch. He frowned at the taste.

“You were, what? Sixteen? And he was your first boyfriend?” Howon asked. “Being hung up on a relationship that happened almost ten years ago, that’s not like you.”

“I’m not hung up on anything,” Sungjong said, mouth stuffed with rice.

“You only cook when you’re stressed.”

“Maybe I cook because I’m great at it?”

“I’ve had your cooking.”

Sungjong glared. Howon laughed.

“Listen, I can’t force you to do anything,” he said. “I may not have been there to see everything that happened between you two, and no, I can’t say for sure if twenty-seven-year-old Kim Myungsoo is any different than seventeen-year-old Kim Myungsoo. But, if you’ve already made up your mind about backing out of the study and never seeing him again, but you’re still cooking and ing up your practical magic,” Howon shrugged. His voice became gentler, softer. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s a sign to try something else.”

They didn’t belabor the point too much longer. Sungjong mumbling that he should call Sungyeol soon and Howon being genuinely busy. When he hung up, he took another bite of his lunch before throwing it down the garbage disposal.

O

Telling Sungyeol he couldn’t participate in the study anymore had been easy. Sungyeol agreeing to his withdrawal was even easier.

“I guess that means we’ll be short a pair,” he sighed, breath fogging the mirror glass. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Wait. That’s it?”

“What’s it?”

“You’re not even going to ask why?”

Sungyeol blinked a couple of times.

“Do you want to tell me why?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

Sungjong frowned. That wasn’t the response he was expecting.

“Myungsoo and I used to date. Back in high school. The breakup was kind of bad.”

Silence.

“Oh.”

Sungyeol blinked into the mirror, looking not in the least bit phased by this information.

“I mean, it’s a perfectly valid reason.” He amended. “I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to do this with my ex either. No offence to you Jongie, you’re still a cutie.”

“Stop that.”

Sungyeol gave a wink and gummy smile. Sungjong was less than impressed.

“Okay, well if that’s all,” Sungyeol said. He looked to be straightening some papers, and Sungjong wondered if he was in his office. “I’ll call you sometime later.”

When the image in the mirror flashed off, Sungjong was left staring at it for a while longer than he liked. He had gotten out of the study without much hassle, he should be content. Yet he wasn’t.

Was this a mistake?

He shook his head. He couldn’t be thinking like that, he had to be sure of himself and his decisions. But when that lingering question didn’t go away, he blamed it entirely on Howon.

In fact, be decided he would blame Howon and then spend the rest of weekend doing busy work. Cleaning his apartment, checking his bank balance, he even got a head start on a work he had been putting off till he absolutely needed to do it. He did everything he needed to do. Everything except think about what Howon had said, because he didn’t want to think about what Howon had said. The papers Sungyeol had left him, left conveniently on the kitchen counter, next to the trashcan, not looked at and not regarded.

He’d done a good job of putting it out of his mind, busying himself with more errands and personal productive endeavors he wouldn’t normally engage in. He finally finished that painting he started a month ago and hadn’t touched for weeks.

Perhaps it was because he had forgotten to take it off his calendar. Or maybe it was because Mondays back in the office being particularly hectic so he was running on autopilot. But regardless of the reason, he knew something was off when he found himself standing outside of Sungyeol’s office with an empty thermos in hand and an even emptier stomach.

He thought about leaving. He really did. But when Sungyeol opened the office door and was startled to the floor, he forgot he wanted to leave two minutes ago.

“Sungjong. Hi.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

Sungyeol, for a moment, looked bewildered, but quickly went back to his usual gummy smile.

“Sure.”

He bit his lip and darted his eyes to the side. He felt stupid.

“Your love potion, is it really supposed to make people fall in love?”

He was prepared for many reactions, most of them involved being laughed at.

“No,” was his serious answer. “Well, not exactly.”

But it seemed Sungyeol was full of surprises as of late.

“Explain.”

“It’s all really complicated, but I guess the simplest way to put it is that its supposed to optimize your acceptance and compatibility of another person. But that doesn’t roll off the tongue as nicely as Love Potion.”

Sungjong nodded, trying his best to take in the information.

“So, I could go through this whole trial, and the most I might come out with is a potentially not hostile relationship with whoever?”

“Uh, yes. I guess you could say that.”

He bit the inside of his cheek and debated with himself internally. Or more, he tried to reason with the little voice in his head that sounded an awful lot like Lee Howon.

“What if I said I wanted to be back in the study again?”

“Then I say welcome back!” Was it possible for Sungyeol’s grin to spread any wider? “To be honest, this is actually great because I completely forgot to tell Myungssoo you dropped out.”

“What?”

“Oh, speaking of the devil—Myungsoo!”

“Sorry I’m late.”

Sungjong stiffened at the voice. While he knew that part of this deal was to confront Myungsoo, he wasn’t entirely ready to face him; especially after remembering the last exchange they had. The inner Howon dialogue was getting annoying.

He turned around, slowly. Myungsoo was standing there, breathing heavier than normal, looking like he’d just come off from work himself. He had a sharp intake of breath. He’d forgotten how good Myungsoo looked when a little sweaty.

He gave Sungjong a hesitant, but oddly sincere, wave. Sungjong was quick to return it.

“Hi…”

“Hey…”

Neither made any attempts to go beyond that.

“This is great! I feel like the fairy godmother of two emotionally stunted teenagers.”

Sungyeol’s commentary was not appreciated.