So like, I want to cry with how difficult uni is getting? Like, like, I don’t have time to sleep? T-T 

i really like to write but now I have to write in small paragraphs every day so I can actually have time for ing uni!!!!!!!

!!!!

I don’t think I could express my hate for high shelves in markets where short people like myself can’t reach enough. Not even with every letter in every language.

It’s that cliche moment where I can’t reach the tomato sauce sitting at the top of the shelf, even raised up on my tiptoes. Why do they put the tomato sauces so far away? Are they not aware that short people who don’t reach past 6 feet exist or something? I huff and lower myself back onto the ground, glaring venomously at the rack like it personally offended me, and it really did.

Nowadays, grocery shopping to get things for at home started to become a hassle I never wanted to be a part of, even though it’s what to expect when you get signed off in an arranged marriage. Where Sehun is constantly busy with the part of the company he inherited from his father with his brothers, I’m supposed to be the best housewife there is, preparing his meals, buying necessities from the nearby market, cleaning the house twenty four seven, and being a trophy to brag about to other families when needed.

Did I know this was going to be part of my new life when I married Sehun? Yes. Did I agree? Yes, but deep down, am I allowed to have a different choice? No, none of us are.

I continue to glare at the bottle of sauce with disdain not entirely directed at it, putting all of my focus on the plastic container so that I fail to notice the amused pair of eyes on me, watching me get tormented by nothing more than a bottle. However, I’m brought back to reality when his arm travel down around my body to turn me around so I’d face him, and I blink the zap of growing emotions coming alive in my body at the surprise of the gesture away.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun says, or whispers really. He squeezes his arm around my lean waist and pulls me closer, instead of away, until I stand flush against his chest. I don’t realize exactly what’s happening, that I’m enclosed in his arms all of a sudden. I only realize the flash of crimson in his eyes that quickly vanished, the tightness of his chest muscles against my own chest, and the twinkling warmth trickling down my ears in embarrassment.

Baekhyun’s hugging me to his chest and I’m doing nothing to push him away.

I meekly free one of my arms from the cage of his body to point upward at the bottle of tomato sauce, and I watch his eyes look up at what I’m pointing curiously, a smile of amusement lighting up his face, managing to hide the fangs of his vampire self at the same time. He doesn’t release me when he realizes my struggle. He simply raises his free hand, the oversized sleeve of his green hoodie falling down his hand to reveal his wrist, and he gets me the bottle I need. He shows me the bottle with a mocking raise of his eyebrows, and I glower at him.

“This?”

“Thanks!” I snap, reaching my hand forward to take the bottle but he pulls his hand backward so I’m not able to reach it, pushing me back as well so my back grazed the shelf of goods behind me, the small space we still had between us disappearing entirely.

My breath hitches and I look at his face directly, catching the mischievous twinkle in his eyes so close to me, the brown, brown eyes of mine that awoke sleeping missiles inside of my body I didn’t know existed. Or the lips tinged with fair red that he possesses that strangely felt plastic-like, the same color of the crimson peak in his eyes, or the velvet red of the bottle of tomato sauce in his hands. I stare back at him and he does the same, his eyes swimming at a depth that made my knees weak. Why is it that I’m always breathlessly silent around him? Why is it that he arouses such emotions from me? So frazzled and stiff? Making me go rigid as if I’m born from sizzling lava?

He leans closer and I notice. Of course, I do. How can I not when his face is so appealing and his eyes are twinkling with massive interest and desire? I turn into putty under his stare and he notices too because his lips curl. He grows even closer and he attaches his lips close to my left ear to mumble.

“You’re trembling, sweetheart.”

I sense the puff of warm air from his lips on my skin and I shiver pleasantly, closing my eyes in absolute exhilaration, excitement too, as I could feel every part of me actually tremble in lust I didn’t even know I’m able to feel. He guides his face away from the tiny space between his lips and my ears, going sideways to my cheek, and he gently places his nose there. I begin to tremble again, not like I’ve stopped, but this tremble of my body; the shake of my legs, it grows more prominent, and I fear falling down on my knees at the sudden inability to stabilize into my weight. He nuzzles his nose there into my cheek, falling down to the curl of my lips, and I sigh. He does a weird thing then that I don’t question, for it causes warmth to pool between my thighs. He rolls his tongue and the corner of my lips. I feel the warm moistness and the vibration of his humming soon after.

“You taste so good baby,” He murmurs, voice low and borderline husky. I hear a possessive growl too. “I can really eat you up.”

I feel uncomfortable at his proximity but I don’t push him away, because amidst my bubbling discomfort, I feel desired. I feel excitement brewing of all the dirty promises that single sentence brought out in me. He bares his fangs and then gently grazes them over the corner of my mouth, quickly falling them over my lips. I gasp, the sudden opening of my lips making his mouth a whole lot closer, his breath intertwining with mine, and going down my throat. The warmth between my thighs grows.

“We’re in a market..” I hear myself whisper and the sound is not my own, or it is, but it’s quite different. It’s warm and low, laced with dry cracks that he caused. I raise my hand to push on his chest, and he backs away without complaint, which is surprising from his part. I didn’t know he’ll respect my non-too-blatant no so quickly.

“Party tonight, you coming?” He asks casually, like what just happened didn’t happen at all. I frown, but I don’t comment on it and turn around to walk to another shelf. He follows my feet with a silent tread of his own. I can’t hear him, or his footsteps (that’s the vampire stealth, I guess) but I can smell his smooth cologne following after me.

“Think about that question, just think about it,” I answer snappishly, still a bit annoyed with the stunt he pulled. I don’t look back to see his expression, as I swerve around in the market for the remaining things in the list in my head, but even then I can imagine his smug smile and his intellectual, brown eyes.

“Okay, smartypants, you’re coming.” I hear a soft snicker and I swivel around to shoot him a glare, catching his smile, then move away.

“What are you gonna wear?” He asks again, when I don’t answer the first question, and I feel his warmth from behind me growing closer. My body shivered instantly, and I took a quick step forward to get away faster.

It’s odd how frequent his questions are, how nosy he suddenly turned out to be when he was the cool, nonchalant vampire back at the party. I answer him despite the wonderment swimming within me, a strange sense of ordinary calmness lacing my tone, calmness that shouldn’t be in my voice after everything. I don’t think I have this amount of careless nonchalance around Sehun.

“I don’t know, I’m torn between a blue and a black dress.”

“I’d have agreed on the black dress in a heartbeat, but diversity in colors isn’t bad at all.” He answers, taking the carrot I held from the neat pile across me from my hand, and putting it back with a grimace. Not a fan of carrots, I see.

“Are you suggesting blue?” I raise my brows at him and he quirks his lips upward in half a smile. “What, you’ll match your tie with it?”

“Want me to?” He gives me a look as if daring me to defy his conclusion. My heart races, skips a beat and starts to dance around my suddenly tight, constricted chest. I gulp but I defy him anyway.

“Why would I?”

“I’ll do it.” He concludes, turning around to leave as if the conversation is over. I gape at him, and I find myself following after him stubbornly.

“Just so you know, it wasn’t me asking.”

“Sure, but you suggested it.” I hear a snicker and I realize that he’s enjoying this a little too much. I’m having a deep urge to stomp my feet on the ground childishly to show my stubborn decisions. But that’s not something I’d normally do, and it’s not a part of who I am. I sigh reluctantly, pausing in my stride after him and watching him stop moving as well, most probably stopping when he heard me stop with his freakishly intense hearing abilities. He turns around to face me and there’s a smile like sunshine there, brighter than the fire glowering up in a fireplace. It should have been oddly misplaced over his face since he’s supposed to be a dark and brooding vampire, but it’s not. It’s not strange at all, and it makes him look ten times more approachable.

“Why are you here? I’m here for groceries as my duty to be a splendidly perfect wife—“ something quite bitter is in my tone regarding that, and Baekhyun’s not a vampire for nothing. He clearly recognizes it. Even I can hear the bitterness intertwined with my voice. “—but what about you? It seems to me that you’re just prancing around to annoy me.”

He doesn’t say anything or acknowledge the deep irritation in my eyes, irritation not for him, or his existence, but for my own self, for my existence, for the life I’m living without a choice. Maybe this bizarre will and want to acknowledge how ed my life is because of him, because he’s curious, because he’s different, because he makes me feel things that are unordinary, things that are massive and uncontrollable. I’m not an idiot, I know the effects he has on me, I just don’t know why, or how. Maybe it’s a vampire thing, since he’s an unnatural creature. But I still don’t know why. Why is he making me feel things that are different? That are new? Why does he suddenly want me to be the person I suppressed most of my life?

Mr. Byun ceases his staring with me so that he gets closer to me again, the same way he got closer to me and cornered me against the shelf. There’s no shelf behind me to hold me still, so he wraps his arms around me and draws me close, his nose quickly going back to nuzzling the plumpness of my cheek. My body lights up in delicious shivers and the free hand of mine that isn’t holding the basket of items rises up subconsciously to fall over his left bicep, tracing the tight skin of his muscles under his hoodie. He brings me closer to him until I can feel the outline of his body against mine, the excessive yet appealing heat that makes him, him. It’s undeniably intimate, what he’s doing, yet I don’t push him away.

I never push him away.

“... no one has ever told you how frequently you attack people with your speech?” He murmurs right on my mouth, his warm breath intertwining with mine and I sigh, clutching his bicep tighter. His lips curl at how easily he could elicit a reaction from me but I don’t find it in me to comment. “It’s rude.” He continues, bumping my nose with his.

“You’re in my personal bubble.” I stutter, and soon clear my throat and try, with everything I have, to roll my eyes. “That’s rude.”

“Want me to back away?” He quips and I notice the curl of his lips flatten away, his brown eyes flashing with deadly red resembling someone’s pierced heart and I stare. I stare because I can’t seem to function properly around him. I can’t seem to do what my mind’s telling me to do, the right things, and I can’t seem to do anything aside falling for the shifting hues of colors in his eyes.

He gets even closer to me, recognizing the zipped lips of mine refusing to answer his inquiry. He gets closer and my heart beats, it beats over and over again. He looms over my smaller body, his whole scent enveloping me alongside the massive heat he produces. His face paints with clear, conspicuous amusement and I glare at the sheer twinkle in his red eyes.