Jihoon turned another shot down. It did not make a difference to his current state, but somehow it managed to numb his pain for two seconds. He did not want to keep on drinking anymore. He wanted to go home, but he felt lost. Just the thought of it reminded him of the pain and its reasons, so it came back all over again. He closed his eyes hard. He did not want to go back home. He wanted to wander around, but who would look after him? There was no one to take care of him. That last thought drew all the air out of his lungs, and he felt like a bit of life was going away from him. Was he going to die? He did not know what to think about that - he wanted to stop thinking at all. Anything that disrupted his conscious experience was welcome at that moment. He leaned both arms on the table and took a deep breath. That sensation was far from pleasant. It felt like his blood was boiling and going up straight to his head, lumping and lumping until it burst open at some point. He did not want to feel that weak. There should be more worthy ways of passing out. 

He raised his head almost pushing it back, still breathing slowly, pulling inside the bit of life he had lost. He stayed in that position for a few seconds, completely not minding if anyone would find it weird. In fact, that would be the last thought to cross his mind while he was trying not to faint. After long moments of slow breathing, he carefully lowered his head to its regular position. As he opened his eyes, he could see the blurred image of the tables ahead him. It was a nice sight, the faint yellow lights had this effect of calming him down, and he could even enjoy the casual chattering of people on the tables. The thought of it would remind him of his loneliness again, if his mind did not feel numb at the very moment. He run his eyes over the place, noticing every small detail as if nothing else mattered anymore. The light-colored wall, the beautiful women among whatever else having fun in the table on the left, the well-placed lamps in the chandelier, the artificial plants decorating the benches, the slight smell of wine in the air. It felt as if he would be happy just being there and noticing at all of that. Weirdly enough, he wished that place could be his home. After a close of eyes and a frustrated sigh, he continued the tour. This time focusing on people. He stared at every happy person he could find as if every smile would drip a glint of joy into his dried insides. 

As his eyes looked over the place, he felt like something else other than life was coming back to him. Even if it would not last long, he did not want to realize that. But at the moment such effect would wear out, his eyes rested upon a peculiar view. Among all the lively tables there was a single man seated in one, focused rather on the bottle in front of him than on his surroundings. When he poured the drink for himself, the observer one felt uneasy. Someone should be there and pour him the drink instead. Even if he was drunk, that was a bothering sight. He wondered why that person was alone in first place. The curiosity popped in his mind and made it feel itchy. While his mind wandered in thoughts, his eyes stared so fixedly at the other man that one would think he was trying to recognize a long-time acquaintance. Fortunately, the other one seemed too immersed in his own thoughts to think of noticing that. Maybe it was due to the lack of company or to the flaming curiosity, but the fact is that he grabbed his half-emptied bottle and stood up. It felt like his head was spinning, but he took a deep breath and forced his eyes open. He just needed to take one step to feel firm again. After doing so, he made his way slowly, but surprisingly better than himself expected. His breath was still heavy as if that was his solid source of balance. But his eyes were solely focused at the image of the man in front of him, as if the mere sight of it was enough to keep his vision from going dark. The other one didn’t notice his approach until he was a few steps away, standing in front of his table. 

– You’re alone – these words finally drew his gaze – Can I stay with you? 

The other man stared at him with an indecipherable gaze, but he didn't hesitate on his purpose. After a few seconds of pondered evaluation, he let out a puff of air and nodded in agreement. 

- Yes - he mumbled and turned his focus to the glass, playing with it. 

The unexpected guest placed his bottle on the table, and took a seat in front of him. 

- Who are you? - his eyes went from the glass to the man in front of him in a second. 

The piercing gaze awakened his senses of a sudden, and he felt as if transportated to an FBI interrogation room. 

- I'm... Lee Jihoon - he said trying to pull in some air. 

- I see - his voice shifted to the uninterested tone from before, and he continued to play with the glass. 

Jihoon released the air from his lungs, feeling the chilly aura dissipating. 

- Why are you here alone? - he asked slowly, paving his way with words. 

- Just... no one wanted to drink. 

At these mere words, Jihoon felt the urge to take care of him and became slightly bothered by it. How could a grown-up man make use of such a vulnerable tone? But that very sentence breached the initial barieer between them, and, instead, a comfortable silence took place. What was he supposed to say? 

- We can drink together now - he smiled in a warm manner. 

- That's right - the other one weakly smiled back and instinctively reached for his bottle. 

Jihoon reached faster in reflex and held it. He was there for that reason. 

- I do it - the other one let out a surprised gasp and he poured the drink. 

- Your words... - he said after the glass was full - I like them. 

Jihoon turned his gaze to the man while sitting back on the bench. He looked delighted - or drunk enough to be laughing alone. He waited for some explanation, but all he got was a condescent smile from someone who did not think he would understand, and would not explain even if he did. 

- What year were you born? 

- 79 - Jihoon replied with a borderly infant interest. 

- Then we are the same line - he smiled as if that was most amusing fact he had came upon that day - What would make you drink like that? - he noticed the state of his company and stared at him with curiosity. 

- It's just... to let go of this burden. 

- Does it work? 

- A bit. 

- Where does it hurt? 

Jihoon looked at him seeming to have been taken aback by the question. Why all of a sudden? He was supposed to behave like anyone else drinking alone and bring the focus to his own sadness. However, when their eyes met, he saw the other man was genuinely willing to know more. That puzzled him for a moment, but he felt grateful and started to formulate a way to tell the story. It was hard – he wasn’t ready to be listened attentively. He wanted to answer it the best way he could, but how was he supposed to start? 

- I'm living alone now - he let out the air slowly as if the weight had been taken away from his shoulders - I'm finally living alone, but what is good about it? 

The other one tilted his head as if he was about to hear an interesting story. Leaded by the subtle cues, Jihoon stared at the table, searching for the better words to explain his situation. 

- Being independent, living alone... it's not scary, it has its good sides, it was something I wished for but... now it feels empty... 

The man in front of him smiled sadly in sympathy, focused on his story rather than on the glass. He remembered Chekhov's Misery and thought it was surely the worst feeling in the human existence, to be surrounded by a crowd and have no one to talk to. Search for anyone, one person it be, and find no one to hear your story, no way to let the anguish flow out. He felt immensely glad that the Jihoon guy in front of him didn't have to go through the same episodes as the protagonist. There was a pair of ears wishing to hear his rambling and maybe that would quench his suffering a bit. That was something to be glad about already. 

- I moved from my sister's, I didn't want to keep depending on her anymore. And she is very supportive but... we are not really close - he smiled bitterly - I just wanted to find someone. 

He wrapped it in a irritated tone and felt the urge to turn another glass down, but his was empty. He reached for the bottle, but the other man didn't let him and poured the drink instead. 

- It's frustrating... - he mumbled and turned down the glass. 

- Isn't it? - When there are so many people around and you can't reach for any of them. 

- I have spent so much time avoiding people and that's what I get now - he closed his eyes and let out a sigh – I just wanted a single person... only one would be enough. 

His tone in the last sentence was heart-breaking. The man in front of him wondered what could have made him like that, and why would he avoid people throughout his life. It was painful, his company thought, to see a grown-up man letting out such a vulnerable tone. But that was expected from the moment he showed the will to listen, wasn’t it? He wished the other one could overcome that pain. 

- You will find it - he smiled - that person. 

Jihoon looked at him with a hint of disbelief, but there was a latent yearn behind – the hope he could ever believe those words. 

- Have you found it? – he said as if challenging the other man – Anyone? 

His smile faltered. 

- I'm not sure... 

- What's your name? - he finally asked. 

The man scoffed slightly and leant back, as if he did not deserve an answer for asking it only then. 

- Chilhyun. 

He nodded as if giving himself time to memorize that distinct name. 

- Why did you come to drink? - his gaze met Chilhyun's. 

- I just... like drinking - he shrugged and moved his gaze to the glass. 

Jihoon stared at him for a few moments, but nothing more would come out. 

- I'm happy you let me stay - he said with a smile after a few silent moments - and it's nice to meet you. 

Chilhyun looked at him, admiring his sincerity. 

- I see... It's good to have a company - he said rather mechanically. 

The thought they would fall into an awkward silence bothered him a bit. 

- But you know - he said suddenly, and his complexion seemed to brighten up - there is a song I like, especially in times like this. 

- Oh, what is it? 

Chilhyun did not hesitate and sang slowly a few verses of the cheerful melody. 

Let’s all join our hands together and look at the sky

Picture the world we will be making together in the sky 

It’s radiant and so beautiful 

Let’s all make it together 

With our joined hands 

It was the type of lyrics which would not have made any difference for Jihoon at other situation. But, at that moment, seeing the man in front of him smile as if that simple song was a true source of joy, he found something beautiful about it. 

- It is a nice song - he gave a sympathetic smile. 

- What about you? What does make you cheer up? 

Jihoon realized he did not think often about it. But the answer came more easily than he expected. 

- Accomplishing something...? - it did not sound as beautiful as he wished his answer to be. 

- So you're the working machine type – the other man guessed with a hint of disappointment in his voice. 

- Something like that. 

- Isn't it a bit melancholic? 

- It is... - he said before he could notice it, and squeezed his eyes in a frown as if he did not want to have said that out loud at all - But if I focus on working well, I distract myself from this pointless feeling. 

- It doesn't target the main cause - he said as if to himself as well. 

Jihoon wondered if he should feel like a kid being nagged at. 

- What do you know? - he asked with a hint of irritation, but more of a genuine curiosity about whether the other man would have good advice to give or not. 

- A few things I learned here and there. 

His company's silent stare was a request for him to keep talking. 

- The more you accomplish, the more you wish to have - he said evaluating the glass, then aimed for the other one's eyes suddenly - Isn't that a suffocating cycle? What if you managed to get content with what you have now? 

- But I have nothing now - he answered almost blankly as he thought of his situation and the rebuttal came to him automatically. 

- You have a sister and house to live in. 

He raised his eyebrows. His thesis had been suddenly proven absurd, and he wondered what made he believe such a thing after all. It was simple to see, but it seemed impossible to adjust his feelings to this more accurate perception of reality. He ignored the big challenge which had just arised – it was too complicated to be expressed in words at that moment – and skipped to the point that bothered him. 

- You wouldn’t strive for accomplishing more though... Isn't that a philosophy that hinders you from going forward? 

- It's not - he chuckled wholeheartedly but silently - it makes you see things more clearly instead. 

Jihoon shook his head in disbelief. 

- And how would that make things any better? 

Chilhyun breathed deeply, preparing to say something important. 

- Because you - he placed his index finger on the table - you are completely focused in yourself when you think like that - he tapped the table twice – and even more focused on the things you don’t have in the moment. When you make yourself content with what you have, you become free to shift the focus to the ones around you - he drawed a circle with his finger - and you start to think what you could do to make their lives a little better. And that's a much better objective to have - he ended with a satisfied smile - it doesn't feel suffocating because it has a fulfilling meaning to it. Anything you do for someone else, be it a big or a small thing, feels rewarding… like an accomplishment. 

Jihoon listened to his talk mindfully. 

- That seems quite... impossible to do. 

- Right? But that's the best way to live, you can be sure of it. 

- If you say so... 

- You should try it – he said and then realized it – but you don't seem to be much into people. 

- That's right... - he let out a sigh. 

- You came to me though. 

- That's also right... 

- Do you really have no friends? 

- Do you have to say it like that? 

Chilhyun apologized in his mind. 

They spent the night in that unusual, but pleasant interaction. Through short sentences, silent moments, long speeches, complaints, laughter and more silent moments, they had a long talk enjoying each other's company. On that night when both thought to be alone, they were brought together. Soon, the time had passed faster than they could notice, and it was time to go home. 

- That's right... - Jihoon murmured when they were ready to leave - It's a pity that we can't stay longer. 

- It is, but it’s really time to go. 

- Can I get your number? 

Chilhyun coughed slightly – it was cold outside – and raised an eyebrow. 

- Why would you? 

- So we can meet again. 

He looked to the side and chuckled so spontaneously. It was really contagious. 

- I don't want to.