_{A/N: As usual, italic indicates a flashback. Good reading!} 

Jungeun had grown up in a defragmented family. Her dad was too busy drinking to mind her or her mother, except of course when he felt like verbally abusing them and making her feel how much unwanted she was in his life. Certain day he simply went away to buy more alcohol and never came back home, later on her mom discovered he had taken all the money he could find. They spent a hellish month with barely enough to pay the living expenses and food, but Jungeun was relieved that she wouldn’t need to hear her father screams or pretend to respect someone that hadn’t made any effort to deserve her love or respect.

Then it was only Jungeun and her mother. And unfortunately for the young Kim, the woman wasn’t exactly cut to be a mom, or perhaps it was the years with a lousy husband that made her bitter. Whether she did it on purpose or not, the woman was always too cold and sometimes even harsh with the now teenager daughter. They didn’t have that much money to spare and Jungeun started working early, in the hope it could help her become independent as soon as possible.

She was in her first year of high school when she met Haseul. However, her eyes were fixed on someone else back then. Jinsol, just like Haseul and Sooyoung, was a year older than Kim, and it wasn’t hard for the blonde to impress Jungeun. Jinsol’s bright and charming personality, was a perfect match to her pretty looks, making her someone Jungeun could never overlook. Her friend group – better saying, her and Jiwoo, her best friend since kindergarten – clicked instantly with the elder girls and it was the beginning of some of the best years in her life.

Although her adoration for Jung was obvious to anyone, it took her a while to understand her feelings and it what meant – and when she did, it was heartbreaking. Tell her mother she liked girls was completely out of question, so she only confided her feelings to Jiwoo and tried her best to pretend nothing had changed when she was around the blonde. This also meant to have to constantly lie to everyone around her and stand the pain every time she notice Jinsol was liking someone else. It was also the initial reason for why she start to spend more time with Haseul instead.

Jinsol used to tutor her, the blonde might look like an air-head, but she was actually rather smart and the kindest teacher. Yet, being alone with Jung made her heart wench in pain, and perhaps it was so obvious that even Haseul took notice of it and offered to replace Jinsol under the excuse that Jung should work with Jiwoo because Sooyoung was completely useless as a teacher – what was technically true since the chaotic duo was busier bantering and flirting shamelessly instead of doing any work. So, Jo Haseul started to help her with the studies, moreover, she became Jungeun’s most reliable supporter.

Haseul wasn’t like Jinsol at all. She was someone you might not notice at first, but once you do, she causes you a great impression. She could be playful and even a bit dork at times, but she had a serious and over responsible side to her that made the girl seem older than she really was. Jo wasn’t the best in academics, making it all about effort instead of talent. She would patiently teach Jungeun while handling her own homework, and even when she was clearly tired, she never failed to keep her promise and show up to their tutoring sessions. Jungeun wondered if the brunette knew about her feelings and that’s why she was so kind always, but she never had courage enough to ask and risk having to open up her heart to the older girl. Therefore, she paid her back in the best way she could. Sometimes it was coffee from the coffee shop she worked at or giving her the new album of her favorite artist, sometimes it was showing her increasing grades and making sure the girl knew how much of a help she was being. It didn’t matter how big or small it was, Haseul always seem so grateful and touched by the act and Jungeun wanted that smile to last forever. They started to hung out after class and Jo even visited her at work, walking her home after it as if it was their own little tradition.

Haseul went from just another friend, to one of her closest ones and as the time passed she felt more and more comfortable around her. They talked a lot, about all sort of things, first small and insignificant ones, then eventually they transitioned into heavier topics like living up to their parents expectation, the fear of what the future had in storage for them and even about their ualities. As expected, Jo wasn’t surprised when she told her about her feelings for Jinsol, although she didn’t seem as excited to talk about her own feelings, she still encouraged Jungeun to talk to Jinsol – what she didn’t do.

On her second year, she had her first kiss. With Haseul out of all people, under the curious stares of people during a truth or dare game where she was too much of a coward to try anything with Jinsol and searched for the comfort of Jo’s gentle smile instead. It was short and sweet, and it would always be a very fond memory for her. If it also meant something to the older girl, she never told her so, and they just moved on, acting like nothing had changed.

It was no surprise when the older girls got into good colleges of their choice, and albeit it made her heart ache for being separate of her good friends, she was still happy for them. Jiwoo and her decided to focus even more on their studies. Jungeun had a special hard task at hand considering she would need at least a partial scholarship if she wanted to go to college and now she couldn’t rely on Haseul for tutoring. It was hard, many times she had to choose between sleeping and studying since she couldn’t afford leaving her part time job. But she had Jiwoo to cheer her up and Jinsol would call her often to give her extra motivation, while Haseul would always find a way of helping her with classes, even if it meant that they both would fall asleep skyping at late night or that she would end up sleeping over Jo’s house on the weekends. Somehow, the distance only made them grown closer.

So when she finally was accepted in college – the same Jinsol and Haseul attended – she was over the moon with excitement. It wasn’t only a chance of having a better future pursuing a career she actually liked, it was also her chance of setting herself free from her mother’s judgmental home.

Being a college student brought her a new kind of confidence. Confidence enough to make her finally confess to Jinsol and tell everyone – including her mother – the good news about them. Her friends seem as excited and happy for the couple as the couple themselves, however her mother…She couldn’t kick her out of the house since she no longer lived there, but she kicked her out of her life, what was even worse. It hurt Jungeun’s heart more than she would like to admit, albeit she tried to pretend she didn’t care, she caught herself crying a ridiculous amount of times, her tears filled with the pain of rejection even though she had always knew the woman who gave birth to her never really wanted her.

It was hard, but she had Jinsol and the others, and slowly their love and understanding were able to fill in the cracks of her heart and make it whole again.

The following years were full of new experiences, allowing her to explore the freedom she never thought she would be able to have. In some senses it was similar to high school. She still had to deal with Sooyoung and Jiwoo being – now even more – clingy to each other. She still had studying sessions with Haseul although they studied different things being into each other’s company was nice, the conversations they would have after studying hours were some of her favorite moments. And she still had Jinsol with her, but things were different now. Jinsol had become an even bigger part of her life, being there in the good and bad moments, sharing laughs and tears… It was easy to let herself dream of a future together.

However, apparently she was the only one.

She always knew Jinsol had big dreams, the girl was so passionate and talented that it was predictable that she would want to go and try to take advantage any opportunity she got. Jungeun tried to be supportive, nothing made her happier than seeing the blonde happy. Even when Jung received an offer to work in a research facility in another country after graduation, she didn’t waver, she cheered the girl up and supported her decision ignoring the sharp pain in her chest. Jinsol needed time to fulfil her dreams, she only needed to be patient and they would reunite again once she had her own degree – it was what she told herself.

Jinsol missed her own graduation and Jungeun had to wear heavy makeup to hide the signs of crying and appear decent when she went to congratulate the two friends that were celebrating that day. Haseul hugged her tightly that day and somehow it ease the pain – as usual, the brunette didn’t ask, she only supported her silently and waited until she was ready to talk about it, what Jungeun eventually did later that week and once more Jo was there to reassure her that everything would be alright.

From this moment on, her relation with Jinsol started to change. A long distance relationship wasn’t easy, she also had a hard time getting used to only seeing the girl for a couple of minutes each day. Even if Jung kept her word and texted and called everyday, it didn’t make her miss the blonde any less, albeit with time she was obligated to get used to it and cherish these little moments.

The daily calls didn’t last long. Both girls were busy, Jinsol had an important research project, while Jungeun was doing her best to survive final year at college, while searching for a job in her work field. By the end of the year, her missing Jinsol, had slowly turned into frustration.

Jungeun managed to graduate in time, but Jinsol didn’t show up for it. Nor her mom did. Again, she only had her friends to rely on – no matter how much she complained about them, Sooyoung and Jiwoo, were still some of the most reliable and caring people she ever met and she was glad they were there.

Haseul was there as well, with chocolates instead of flowers as she knew Jungeun would like it better. That year hadn’t treat her well, Jo’s parents had got into a car accident when she had barely started working at their company, making the young woman have to deal not only with the pain of their loss but also with all the responsibilities they had left behind. Jungeun was spending a lot of time with her lately, in the hope her company would make her pain a little weaker.

She thanked the girl and this time she was the one to hug her tighter, allowing the girl to rely on her instead, as she promised they would stick together no matter what.

Jinsol called her that night, like she did at least once a week, but when she asked when the girl would come back all she got was a sigh and an apologize as Jung informed her that she would transfer to another country for a new project. She shouldn’t be mad or hurt, nor frustrated, but she was. She knew they should prioritize their careers and Jinsol was working hard for her dream, but still, it was getting harder and harder to handle a long distance relationship. Nevertheless, she managed to fake a smile and congratulate her girlfriend.

A couple of months after graduation, she found a good job at a small company and moved to the same building Haseul lived in. She loved her work and even if she had to work twice as hard to prove herself and perfect her projects, she was genuinely happy doing it. She would sneak in and sleep over at Haseul’s house once in a while, and Jiwoo would randomly show up at her door step for a sleepover, making sure they never lost contact no matter how busy they were.

And for a while it was enough for her. Until it wasn’t.

As she established herself in her job, she had to watch as people around her build themselves a whole life. Sooyoung and Jiwoo decided to tie the knot a year after graduation, and she was both happy and envious of the couple. All she hoped for and planned back when they were at college never happened, Jinsol was never there and she didn’t have a family to call her own. She tried to be patient, but the older she got, the more she wished for a real home.

After two and half years dealing with a relationship based solely in video chat and spare calls, it was about time to accept the truth. Jinsol still called her and they were still together, but the girl rarely visited the country, always too busy with a new project to come by. Jinsol was someone born to live freely and explore the world, while Jungeun just wanted a place to call her home and a family to make it a real one. It wasn’t the distance that broke them, it was the differences.

The breakup wasn’t unexpected, their conversation almost stoic. Yet, it still hurt. They had been together for so long and they had so many memories and unfulfilled expectations, so much potential that would never be lived. She knew it was time to let go, so she did, and in the most awkward way possible they said goodbye with the flawed promise of still being friends.

After it, she started to sleep over Haseul’s house even more often. Jo not only welcome her warmly, she helped her to get over the break up. She would listen and console her, not hesitating on dragging her outside to make sure Jungeun wouldn’t fall on the deepness of her own sadness. On the weekends they would visit Haseul’s favorite places around the neighborhood and discover new ones, they would try out new food and even visit the karaoke places the shorter woman liked so much and Jungeun pretended she didn’t. During the week they would come back home after a long day of work, and snuggle together to watch movies eating the food Jungeun would cook with Jo’s assistance – even if it wasn’t all that great –, and she would fall asleep on the girl’s shoulder.

It was amazing that took her so much time to realize that she didn’t only looked for the brunette’s company because she was a good friend. Slowly, she started to realize that the home she always looked for was there all along, and it took form in Haseul’s petite body and warm smile.

Jungeun woke up to the gentle sound of music, the upbeat rhythm of an old song that she knew by heart. Opening her eyes slowly to see she was alone in bed, she confirmed her suspicion that her wife was the one responsible for the song choice. Haseul’s voice was coming from the kitchen as she sang a duet with a much younger voice that could only belong to Yerim. With a lazy smile, the brunette headed to the bathroom to wash up.

She was still in her comfy pajamas ten minutes later, her slim frame leaning against the frame of the kitchen's door as she watched the adorable, yet dorky, scene unfolded in front of her. Moments like this were her favorite ones, the ones where she could forget about everything and enjoy the little world she had construct with Haseul in the last couple of years.

Haseul was dancing around the table with a wooden spatula on her right hand using it as a mic, her left hand pointing to the child that was energetically dancing on a chair – the said kid was mimicking her mother perfectly, using her plastic spoon as a mic as she sang along to the song. They were too engrossed in singing the song’s chorus to notice the other woman in the room until Jungeun left out a light chuckle. Yerim grinned, waving at her, while Haseul smiled playfully approaching the taller woman without missing a beat of the song.

“I’m not the kind to get obsessed so why am I being like that?” Jo sang, reaching out to hold Jungeun’s hand, inviting her to join their little musical number. Kim muffle a laugh, shaking her head with an amused smile as she kissed her wife on the cheek and let go of her hand to go greet their daughter in the same way, before heading to the stove where a Haseul had forgotten what was supposed to be scramble eggs, but was more like a mushy brownish mess now. Usually she would scold her for that, but Jungeun loved these little spontaneous moments to the point where even her nag ways could be put aside for a little while. “You’re just on my mind.” Of course Haseul would follow her still singing the song, back hugging the younger woman and kissing her cheeks loudly. It was impossible for Jungeun to hide her own smile as she turned to face Jo’s beautiful eyes that were sparkling with the typical glint they always had.

“I feel like my heart will return to you again just like back then. Hey, what is on your mind?” She completed, finally surrendering to IU’s hit song and joining her family in their little dork moment. She leaned in to kiss Haseul, hugging her for a quick moment before pulling away, snatching the spatula out of the woman’s hand. She heard Yerim’s laugher as Haseul gasped due to her mischievous action. Jungeun imitated the older woman’s dance moves, giving her a playful glance, taking a few steps to sway Yerim off her feet and make the girl join her in the performance. Haseul didn’t waste any time before joining them too.

Unfortunately, the song ended faster than they wished and Jungeun returned to her normal actions, making Yerim and Haseul put down their improvised mics and sit down to eat breakfast – Kim had to make new eggs.

“So, what are you two planning to be this hyped so early in the morning?” She asked, looking at Yerim who was currently gulping down her milk like her life depended on it – she was glad their daughter wasn’t that picky with food, but sometimes it scared her how much the little one could eat. Usually she was the first one to wake up, so having both girls waking up before her was something note worth.

“It’s Saturday! What we do on Saturdays, Yerimie?” Haseul asked, for what Yerim answered with a mouth half filled with cereal. “Go out!”

“This much I could guess. And no talking with your mouth full, sweetie.” She caressed the girl’s back, looking at the other woman. “Where to? You got home late yesterday, I thought you would be tired.”

Haseul shook her head, finishing her eggs before answering. “I promised Yerim we would go to the new zoo, you know the one that has an aquarium as well? Today is the opening, so we are going.” She reassured with a confident smile – typical Haseul, always keeping her word.

Jungeun narrowed her eyes. “And you two didn’t think about informing me about this scape of yours?”

“You are going too!” Both brunettes, Yerim and Haseul, said at the same time, making Kim laugh at their synchronization. Haseul and Yerim weren’t blood related, but their similarities were undeniable.

“We were going to bring you breakfast in bed, but you woke up early.” The child informed with a little disappointed pout that Jungeun brushed off her face with a quick kiss on her cheek.

“This sounds great, but next time you guys should try to be a little more discreet.”

“The power of the music was too strong for us to resist.” Haseul said with a fake sigh, exchanging a smile with Yerim before turning to her wife. “You said you would have the weekend free, so I thought it would be okay.”

Kim nodded positively. She didn’t have any plans for the weekend besides maybe making Haseul and Yerim help her clean the house and sleep early, having a family outing seem much better in comparison. Working as an architect, sometimes she would get caught up with her numerous projects, but one of the rules of her marriage with Haseul was to always make time for the family no matter how busy they were – Haseul, who had to handle her family’s business, seem to have a lot more trouble keeping this promise, yet they always found a way to be there for Yerim on the weekends and give her the attention she deserved as their beloved only child.

“Sounds like a plan. Let’s finish this, and wash the dishes,” She eyed both women that pretended to be focused on their meals. “So we can get ready to go.”

As expected, Yerim was having a blast visiting the zoo, dragging her moms around the place and gushing about all the animals she found cute – basically each and every single one of them. The morning went by quickly as they admired the animals, took a bunch of pictures – mainly of Yerim in funny poses – and bought overpriced food. Jungeun thought it was more than enough for a day, but they had promised Yerim that they would visit the aquarium as well, so they decided to make a quick stop at a restaurant nearby for lunch before visiting the said place.

Haseul got them a nice place near the large windows of the restaurant and they sat down to eat. The shorter brunette observed her wife and kid with fondness, watching as Jungeun tried to convince Yerim to ask for something more healthy instead of the kids special – cheeseburger and french fries. With a half smile, she called the waiter over and waited as the other women ordered – Yerim still got a burger, only a smaller version – before placing her own order.

“The aquarium closes for lunch as well, no need to rush.” She told their daughter, hoping like this the girl wouldn’t try to eat as fast as she could because she was too eager to go see the penguins that looked just like aunt Jiwoo – Haseul was convinced that only Sooyoung could’ve taught her such thing, not that it wasn’t accurate and she had to refrain from laughing every time Yerim repeated the phrase while Jungeun nagged about the importance of not nicknaming people.

Yerim, being the well behaved kid she was – almost always – only nodded, before starting to ask a nearly infinite amount of questions about all the animals she was about to see. At six, she was a rather talkative kid, very curious and friendly, always with a big smile on her face and an optimistic outlook. Haseul couldn’t be prouder of her daughter and wished she would always remain the same. She and Jungeun were doing their best to make sure Yerim could grow up into a beautiful human being inside and out and so far things were going well. Jo glanced at her wife that was taking a looking outside of the window, a protective arm around Yerim’s shoulder. She was trying her best at parenting, but she had to admit that Kim was born for it and she could only be grateful that she was her partner.

Long time ago, when they decided on getting married and having a child together, Haseul wasn’t so sure things would work out. Jungeun always wanted to have a child, a family of her own, while Haseul just wanted to have Jungeun in her life.

Jungeun had a resolute expression on her face, her full lips shut close together as her gaze was fixed on her own hands. Haseul glanced at the blonde, unsure of whether or not she should break the silence that was starting to become uncomfortable. Kim was her friend and it wasn’t that unusual for her to come and sleep over, she was doing it a lot since her break up, however she never had this serious expression on her face before and Jo wondered if there was something wrong.

“I…I want to have a baby.” Jungeun finally said, her voice was low, but full of determination. Haseul could tell it was something she had been thinking about a lot and not only a temporary impulse.

The brunette moved on her place, composing herself to face the other girl properly. “Now? But you are…” She didn’t finish the phrase, she didn’t have to. Jungeun was alone, Jinsol was out of her life now and she didn’t have a family to rely on either. Loneliness seem to be a constant in the life of the brown haired woman.

“I want to have my own family, Haseul. I always wanted a child and even if…No one wants to be with me to start one, I’ll do it myself!” Kim assured with a firm nod, although there was a slightly quivering in her lips denoting how burdened she was by the weight of such a big decision. Jungeun was a strong person, someone who had gone through a lot and Haseul didn’t doubt even for a moment she would be able to do it by herself if she had to – however, it didn’t mean it would be easy. “I’ll be a good mom. Look after him or her well, and never leave them alone. I won’t be like my parents.”

Jo reached out to take the younger girl’s hand into her own, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know you will. You will be the best mother anyone could’ve asked for.” She smiled, her eyes filled with sincerity. One of the things she admired the most in Jungeun was her strong spirit and will, her great sense of responsibility that was beyond her years. Still, she didn’t want to see her to face such hard times alone, again. “But you shouldn’t do this alone. A kid is a big responsibility, it will take a lot of time and money…And you still have to handle all your projects.” She hated being the one to shut  Jungeun’s hopes down, she didn’t want to seem like she didn’t support her, because she ultimately did, but she had to keep her feet in the ground and make sure the other woman wouldn’t put her hopes up only to have it crushed down later on.

“I know.” Jungeun nodded again, in what looked like a nervous habit, her grip on Haseul’s hand growing a bit stronger as she finally faced the older woman. “You also feel lonely, don’t you? We love and respect each other, I know that. You are always here for me whenever I need, and I want to be there for you too. I want us to do this together.” Jungeun took a deep breath, aware of the fact that she asking Haseul something huge and that would impact their lives forever. “We could be the family we both deserve to have.”

Haseul was taken aback for her words. She had think so many times about how it would be to be with Jungeun, to have her as part of her life for good and it always seem like just a dream. But now here they were, Jungeun asking her to be her family, staring at her with those beautiful eyes and expecting the answer that could change everything between them. It wasn’t her style to simply act by impulse, she would usually think things through, ask questions and consider every aspect…Nevertheless, she felt that if she didn’t give Jungeun an answer right now, she might never have the chance of doing it again.

Jo felt the warmth of the girl’s touch, saw the glimpse of hope in Jungeun’s caramel eyes, notice every detail of a face she had love almost instantly. She had learned to love more than just her dazzling looks, but the person that she was inside, the one that her confident and almost cold façade tried so hard to hide. Haseul loved her wholehearted, she had no reason to hesitate.

“Then we will do it. Me and you, together.”

Their union wasn’t a typical one, it didn’t happen in the usual ways and their story wasn’t the most romantic one, but still she didn’t regret it even for a minute. If she hadn’t accepted Jungeun’s offer, they wouldn’t have Yerim, nor would they be here now.

Her smile grew wider as she leaned over the table, resting her elbows on it. “What about that big ice cream for dessert?” She exchanged a smile with the kid before both turned to face Jungeun with puppy eyes that never failed to get them what they wanted – not that the blonde didn’t try to scold them, but even Kim had a weakness for ice cream and ended up agreeing on it.

By the time they finished the ice cream, it was already time for the aquarium opening and Yerim was more than ready to go and meet all the penguins and fish that she could see, so Haseul told the girls to go ahead while she stood behind to pay the bill and make some calls – work was always in the back of her mind, unfortunately she couldn’t ignore everything, but she did the best she could to minimize its interference on their family time.

She had just finished the call, making sure everything was running smoothly back the company and stood up after setting the bill, ready to leave the place. However, before she could reach the door, her eyes took notice of something that made her stop on her tracks.

Jungeun and Yerim were at the other side of the street, chatting with a tall blonde girl. Yerim was giggling and talking non stop, looking extra comfortable around the stranger, while Jungeun kept a stiff smile on her face as she watched the duo interacting. The tall woman, a very familiar figure, had her usual friendly smile on her face and her features seem even prettier than what Haseul remembered.

Jung Jinsol was back and she had no idea what it meant for her family.

Jungeun was having a hard time controlling her facial expression. It wasn’t like she hated seeing Jinsol after such a long time, she was just surprised for seeing her again. The fact that Haseul was taking so much time to come to their encounter was only making everything more awkward. Luckily Yerim and Jinsol seemed completely unaware of it and were having a good time chatting about all the sea creatures that Jinsol was taking care as the resident marine biologist overlooking the opening of the aquarium.

Their short conversation came to an ending when the blonde received a message asking her to check on something and she had to excuse herself. Kim sighed lightly, a bittersweet feeling of relief and guilt tempering her heart. Jinsol was her friend after all, wasn’t she supposed to feel happy for seeing her again?

“Sorry, I had to make some calls and it took a while…” Haseul’s melodic voice sounded as she came near, she had a smile on her face, but Jungeun knew her well enough to noticed the subtle undertone in her voice. “Can we go inside?”

“Penguin Jiwoo-nim!” Yerim screamed in excitement, running ahead of them. Haseul left out a light laugh, still it didn’t sound quite right, almost as if she was restraining herself. Jungeun glanced at her wife, ready to nag her for worrying about work during their family time, but the warm brown eyes that met hers had an unreadable expression to it that took her aback.

Haseul stepped closer to her, grabbing her hand and prompting her to walk faster, following their little one. The brunette intertwined their fingers, keeping a comfortable hold of her hand all the way. It might be her imagination, but Jungeun thought Haseul’s grip was a little tighter than usual.

Deciding on leaving her overly complicated thought aside and just enjoy their time together, she leaned in to steal Haseul’s phone from the pocket of her coat. “I will use it to take pictures and check if Sooyoung was right about Jiwoo looking like one of these cute creatures, or if she was just being mean to the poor penguins.” She pocket the phone before the shorter woman could protest, leaving a kiss on her cheek. “Yerim, go slowly! Your mother Haseul is old and has short legs!”

The teasing seem to be enough to take Haseul’s mind off whatever problems she had been thinking about, and soon enough the older woman was chasing her wife down the hall as Yerim laughed at her childish parents and gushed about all the penguins she finally could see.

By the end of the day, even Yerim’s almost infinite energy was gone and the girl was sleepy. Haseul was carrying her, although soon the girl would be too big for her to do so. Jungeun smiled at the sight, following them slowly.

A very familiar smile made them stop at the exit, Jinsol’s grin was bright enough to be seen even in the blueish light of the aquarium. She noticed the way Haseul stopped as well, the shorter brunette glancing at the duo. “Oh, Haseul! Long time no see! How are you? Jungie told me you were here as well.” The blonde greeted with her usual friendly tone, stepping closer to the mom and daughter so she could give the little girl the stuffed toy she was carrying. “A penguin for our penguin enthusiastic!” No matter how sleepy she was, Jo Yerim would never pass the opportunity of getting a new plushie, especially one that looked like one of her aunt Jiwoo’s relatives, therefore she accepted it, hugging it tightly as she thanked Jung.

“Did you like the ones you saw today, little one? Next time you want to come tell me, I’ll get you a special backstage pass!”

“Yeah, they really look like aunt Jiwoo...But I’m calling this one Joerry because it’s mine!” Yerim said with smile although she was still clearly too tired to show her excitement properly.

“You didn’t have to, Jinsol, she is becoming a hoarder…” Haseul, on the other hand, returned the smile politely, and Jungeun could notice the way her posture got stiff all of sudden as she hugged Yerim a little tighter. “It’s good to see you, Jinsol. I didn’t know you were coming back…” Jo glanced at Jungeun as she spoke. Was it a glimpse of accusation in her eyes? “How is work? No, forget it. I see it is going well, the place is amazing.”

“I was missing home, so I grab the first opportunity I had to comeback.” The taller explained, apparently unaware of the slightly tension building up as the conversation goes. “It is, isn’t it? I’m only helping a little. Do you guys remember Kahei from college? The place is actually hers! She will be here soon and then I’ll have some free time…I was thinking about visiting Sooyoungie and Jiwoo, they still live in the same place?”

Jinsol had no problem continuing the conversation, even if Haseul’s answers were a little too unenthusiastic, the blonde didn’t even bat an eye. Jungeun felt a gentle tuck on the strings of her heart, making it a little warmer. Jinsol had always been so bright and gentle, no matter how reckless and stubborn she could be at times, it was really hard to not like the girl. She had this special aura to her, something impossible to ignore.

Looking at Haseul her heart swollen with a different kind of feel, worried as she noticed the subtle way the older woman slowly closed into herself. That wasn’t her friendly and talkative wife, her words lacked the usual warmth and her gaze didn’t give away her thoughts.

Kim had to refrain from sighing, stepping up to cut down the conversation. “It was great seeing you, Sol. But we should get going before Yerim falls asleep…If she hasn’t already.” She arched an eyebrow at the kid that barely had her eyes open.

“Sure, sure! I’m sorry, sometimes I get carried away…” Jinsol scratched the back of her neck with an apologetic smile. “See you two around. It was a pleasure meeting you, Yerimie!” She waved goodbye to the kid, stepping aside so Haseul could move.

“See you, Jinsol. Thanks for helping Yerim today, she had a lot of fun.” The brunette bowed slightly, keeping a strong hold of the kids on her arms, before walking away.

Jungeun was ready to do the same, following the girls back to their car when she noticed the look Jinsol had on her face, a gentle hand grasping her jacket lightly. “Jungie…Can we talk some time? We could grab coffee or something.” She said in a small voice, a hint of insecurity on her face.

Kim looked at the blonde, noticing the cute way her eyes watched her like a puppy. Saying ‘no’ to Jinsol had never been an easy task. However, she wasn’t sure it was a good idea. “I’ll call you.” Her friend deserved that much consideration, therefore a straight rejection wasn’t an option. Jinsol could have a lot of flaws, but she was a genuinely nice person. “I promise. Now I really need to go.” Taking a step back, distancing herself of the taller woman, she gave her a small smile before running to meet her family.

Haseul tucked Yerim into bed, kissing the girl’s forehead. It was still too early for the little one to sleep, so she would let her nap a bit while they made dinner.

She could feel Jungeun’s stare burrowing holes on her back, still she didn’t turn around to face her. It was silly of her, but she wanted to compose herself before facing her wife alone. During the day it was easy because they had Yerim to distract them from the awkward atmosphere, it was easy because she didn’t have to answer all the questions on Jungeun’s eyes, nor voice her own worries.

Without Yerim to light up the mood, it was hard to ignore the elephant in the room.

With a small sigh, she stood up to meet her wife by the door. Dark brown eyes met the caramel ones that reflected the concern its owner harbored. “Since I made breakfast, can you cook dinner?” She said, ignoring the tangible matter, to focus on more mundane matters instead.

Jungeun lips turned into a smirk, the one that was both annoying and endearing at the same time. “You will still help me with the veggies.  Don’t forget you let the eggs burn and I had to remake it.” Clicking her tongue, the brown haired woman took hold of Haseul’s hand, leading the way to the kitchen.

Together, they set everything ready. Jungeun as a cook, like with pretty much everything in her life, was organized and efficient. While Haseul and Yerim would make a mess in the kitchen to make breakfast, the Kim would work diligently making sure everything was as clean as possible. Haseul still could feel the slightly tension between the two of them, but she was glad that Jungeun was willing to put it aside for now and focusing on their comfortable routine instead.

After chopping the vegetables, she start to set the table as she kept an eye on her wife. Jungeun’s precise moves as she meticulously cooked every ingredient. She had her lips in a thin line in concentration, a hand going up to fix her hair and take it out of her line of vision as the other hand moved the chopsticks on the pan. Haseul always thought she looked incredible charming when she was focused on something.

It was in moments like this that Haseul knew how much she loved the other woman, moments where her simple actions and small habits were enough to make Jo’s heart flutter like she was a foolish teenager all over again.

She wondered if Jungeun felt the same about her.

As soon as she was done, she approached the taller girl, carefully putting her hair up in a ponytail. Jungeun didn’t even flinch, too used to her touch to mind the sudden approach. The younger woman shot her a grateful smile. She leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Haseul, can we-“

“Mom? Mommy? Why didn’t you wake me up?” Yerim’s sleepy voice made both woman turn to face the little girl.

“Oh, hey sweetie! We thought you would sleep a little more.” Kim was the first to greet the child, soon followed by Haseul.

“You are up! What about taking a shower before dinner?” Jo suggested, going back to her maternal mode, getting closer to the girl that made a face.

“Can I sleep with Joerry if I do it?”

“Yes, but only if you eat all your dinner as well.” And with this deal she took Yerim to the bathroom.

Being a mother of an overly energetic child wasn’t easy. Jungeun and Haseul were used to Yerim’s antics and they had found ways of making sure she went to bed at appropriated hours, even if it meant they had to be more and more creative. After dinner, they had watched a bit of TV and played with her in the hopes of making the kid sleepy again.

However, when they tried to tuck her into bed, Yerim’s energy was still high enough to stand two long bed time stories and demand more. So they teamed up to create a story interesting enough to get her full attention and hopefully put her to sleep. Jungeun was in charge of creating the story, while Haseul would add some funny comments her and there and provide the sound effects – they had done it so many times before that it was almost natural to complete each other’s actions, working smoothly to create yet another simple, but fun story for their daughter.

“The little owl flew above the kingdom, her red eyes searching for the magic gem.” Jungeun said as Haseul lightly blow Yerim’s hair as she imitated the sound of the owl’s wings. The kid giggled, blowing her mom’s hair as well. “The owl flew as far as she could, as far as her tired wings could take her. She searched all over the kingdom. But she couldn’t find it.”

“Why she couldn’t find it?”

“Why do you think?”

“Hum…Maybe a pirate stole it?” Yerim suggested, she loved giving her input on the stories and her moms did the best to fit all the suggestions to the stories.

“And then the pirate was attacked by a mermaid who took it and brought it with her to the depths of the ocean!” Haseul chirped in, making Yerim’s eyes grow in surprise. “There are mermaids in the kingdom? So how will the owl get the gem?”

“Well, she won’t. The mermaid needs it.” Jo shrugged and Jungeun gave her a reprehensible look. Way to mess up her storyline.

“So the tired owl made her way back home, flying slowly to reach her house. She was disappointed she couldn’t complete her mission…But when she arrived, she was received with cheers and praises!” Jungeun continued, prompting Haseul to clap and cheer.

“The little owl was confused, she couldn’t understand. She always thought she wouldn’t be accepted back if she failed. She thought she didn’t deserve it.” Kim expressed a sad smile, her arms near her body and her head low as she did her best to act like the owl in her story. Yerim leaned in to caress her arm in sympathy and she had to hide a smile at the kids sweet behavior. “The bird who was the owl’s best friend told her it was fine, that it didn’t matter whether or not she had succeeded, they still loved her no matter what because the true precious gem is their friendship.” She took a sit by the board of the bed, taking the kid into her embrace as she signalized to Haseul to finish the tale.

Took Jo only a moment to pick the perfect tune, a song from an animated movie. She switched some of the lyrics to match Jungeun’s story.  She sang to Yerim ever since she was a baby, the sweet voice was the most efficient way to send the girl to dreamland.

“Wherever my feet touch

If I’m with you, I’m happy.

Where my eyes stop, in that place

There is your love that is like a hidden gift

Everything about you becomes my song.”

She continued to sing even after she saw Yerim’s smile became smaller as the girl fell asleep in Jungie’s arms, finishing the song.

Jungeun smiled at her, kissing Yerim’s head before moving away and fixing the small body on the bed, making sure the kid was properly covered as well. Kim left another kiss on Yerim’s forehead and Haseul followed suit, caressing the girl’s hair gently. Energetic or not, Yerimie was a sweet kid and they both were luck for having her in their lives.

“We are doing a great job.” Jungeun said from the bed when Haseul emerged from the bathroom wearing an oversized shirt as her sleepwear. The Kim was also ready to sleep, wearing her red pajamas, partially covered by a blanket.

“I’m sorry, what, honey?” Haseul questioned, making sure her glasses were back on its case before joining the younger woman in bed.

“At raising Yerim. We are doing a good job.” Jungeun was usually the one that worried the most, however, there wasn’t a single moment in that day that she could’ve changed – except of course the meeting with Jinsol, but it hadn’t affect Yerim at all. “She is healthy and happy, kind and bright.” She completed, trying to make Haseul understand where she was coming from. She always wished the best for their child, everything she couldn’t have.

“I know. She is our precious sunshine.” Haseul nodded, a knowing smile on her face as she took a place under the covers. “And you are a great mother, Jungeun.”

“We both are. I don’t think I’d be able to it all on my own.” It wasn’t something new, she always made sure to thank Haseul for being with her all the way. “The song today, I liked it. Reminds me of us.” That day, years ago, she had been desperate for anything that could provide her a fixed home, a family that she could love and be loved back, she wasn’t even thinking straight when she proposed to Haseul. Still, she never regretted it. Yerim was their sunshine, but Haseul was the light of her life, the one person that could lead her out of loneliness and into a life full of love and happiness.

Haseul furrowed her brow slightly, before a playful look appeared on her face. “Are you saying we are a bird couple?” She shook her head. “You know, owls and doves can’t even be together.” Albeit her tone was still light, it didn’t have her usual mischievousness add to it.

“In my story they can.” Jungeun emphasized, cuddling beside the girl. “Now will you tell me what is bothering you so much? Is everything okay at work?”

“Yes. I don’t know what you mean, I’m not-“

“Then it was Jinsol.” The younger woman cut her before she could lie her way out. “I didn’t know she was back. I know it’s awkward, but it’s not that bad.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. She is my friend and I’m glad she is doing fine, it was nice seeing her.”

“Yes, sure. And I love doing aegyo.” She pulled the girl closer, letting her eyes meet hers. “You are a terrible actress, Jo Haseul.” She leaned in to kiss her cheek, snuggling even closer to rest her head on the woman’s shoulder. “We have a great family and a good life. I’m really happy, you know that.”

Haseul hesitated for a second, releasing a small sigh as she relaxed against the girl. “I’m happy with you, too.” Jungeun couldn’t see her expression, but she could picture the small smile on her face as her brown eyes got a little brighter. Haseul always had this expression whenever they were talking about their family and it never failed on making Kim feel loved. She wished she could make the older girl feel the same with her words.

But she had never been the greatest with words, perhaps it would be better to show it with actions.

Lifting her head of the comfy space of Haseul’s shoulder, she kissed the woman lightly on the lips. The contact was almost innocent, gentle and warm – it was like their love was for her. “I’ve plans for us tomorrow. I asked Sooyoung and Jiwoo to take care of Yerim, she and Chaewon can have a sleepover.”

Haseul furrowed her brows confused. “This all of sudden? Why?”

“Because I’m having lunch with Jinsol tomorrow and after I want to spend some time with you.” She answered with confidence. Earlier she texted Jinsol and Jiwoo, receiving positive answers of them both. Now she only needed her wife to agree on the plan, and she knew it was better to not give Haseul any chance of running away. Kissing her again, blocking any protests the brunette could have, she hugged her. “Have a good night of sleep. I don’t want you acting like an old lady complaining you are too tired tomorrow.” Pulling back she smiled fondly at the woman. “Good night, Seul.”

Haseul hesitate, but still nodded in agreement. “Good night, Jungeun.”

When Haseul woke up, Jungeun was already gone. She left a note informing she had made them breakfast and reminding her to take Yerim to Sooyoung’s house, she also add an address at the ending of the note – the place where they were supposed to meet later. Yawning, Jo stood up to shower and get ready. She had slept a lot more than she thought she would be able to, but now Jungeun’s words were ringing like bells on her ears, making her feel uneasy. It was silly, she knew that much, after all her wife couldn’t possibly be planning on something bad after talking about how happy they were together just the day before. Still, having Jinsol around was making her anxious.

Jung hadn’t come back even for their wedding over seven years ago, and as far as Haseul knew, she wouldn’t even come to see her parents, preferring to fly them over to meet her at the place she was currently in. Jung wasn’t a typical person and it was hard to predict her actions. However, it wasn’t Jinsol who was making her feel nervous now.

What worried the brunette was the way Jungeun was affected by the presence of the girl she loved for so many years. Fate had thrown her a curveball by making such a huge part of Kim’s past just show up at their doorstep when she thought everything was going well.

She might be Jungeun’s wife, but Jinsol was the one person she had wished to be with forever. There was no doubt the younger woman loved her, but their relation was built on friendship and mutual care, so different from the strong passion that Jinsol seem to ignite on Jungeun. People say that no love compares to your first one, and Haseul knew it well considering Jungeun was her very first and only love, but how true it was to the girl?

“Mom!” Yerim’s voice made her snap out of her thoughts, making her hurry up to finish brushing her teeth.

“Hello, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?” She said as soon as she met the girl by the bedroom’s door, leaning in to kiss her head. “Let’s eat breakfast. I’m taking you to see Chaewon today.”

Yerim jumped in excitement and run to the kitchen, finding her favorite pancakes waiting for her. Soon they were done with the food and Haseul helped Yerim to change into clean clothes and pack some stuff for the sleepover, not forgetting to include the penguin plushie the kid seem to like so much. The same one Jinsol had given her. Haseul sighed at the sight of the stuffed toy, it was really hard to dislike Jung when she was always so caring and genuinely nice to everyone around her.

“Why did you name it Joerry?” She asked her daughter, giving the plushie for the kid to carry as she took the small backpack and put on her shoulder, grabbing Yerim’s hand and leading them to the front door.

“Mom! I told you yesterday, it’s because it’s mine!” Yerim seemed a little annoyed at her mother’s bad memory, but Haseul could only blink in confusion. The little girl then completed. “I’m Yerim, but I’m also a Jo, so it’s as well. Jo-erry!”

Haseul contained a laugh, lifting the girl so she could carry her. “Aren’t you the smartest, sunshine?” She smiled at the kid that seem content with herself. “But what about mommy Jungie? She will get upset if we forget to include her.”

Yerim blinked in confusion, almost forgetting to do one of her favorite activities: pushing the elevator buttons. “Mom is also a Jo, we’re family. Jo Haseul, Jo Jungeun and Jo Yerim.” She recited, counting the names on the tips of her small fingers.

The brunette probably should correct her and tell her that Jungeun’s last name was still Kim, not Jo, but she didn’t. She only hugged the girl, nuzzling into her neck and making her laugh in amusement. Yerim was right, they were family.

Haseul spent more time at the Ha’s house than expected, but it was nice seeing her friends and watch their kids playing together like she used to do with Sooyoung when they were their age. Jiwoo insisted on her staying for lunch and she agreed, leaving shortly after to drive to the place Jungeun would meet her.

It was a short drive, the place, albeit different of what she remembered, was still familiar to her. She used to come to this pier often when she was in high school, watching the sun set in the water had a calming effect on her. She could recall bringing Jungeun along a couple of times as well.

She frowned, wondering why the woman would want to meet her there out of all the places.

With a sigh, she checked her cellphone. There was still half an hour to go, she better get comfortable to wait. She took a seat to wait for her wife letting her gaze wander aimlessly as she got lost in the memories of this place.

Haseul was a bright kid, not as bright as Yerim, but definitely on the outgoing side. Her parents, a well off middle-aged couple, had always cherished her greatly, after all her conception was a good surprise after years of failed attempts of having a kid. Having no siblings could be a little lonely at times, but she always had Sooyoung’s – her friend and next door neighbor – to keep her company, and later on Jinsol came along to complete the trio.

She always did her best to balance her social life with her studies and family time. Her parents were a bit overprotective and very loving, so she always tried to show them love even when she reached the age that it was a bit embarrassing to say ‘I love you’ she still did. Haseul would wander around with her friends, doing her favorite things that included singing and finding new places, but she would always be back home by dinner time and complete her homework before going to bed. You could say she was a goody two shoes kind of person, the title didn’t bother her.

It wasn’t until high school that her usual confidence started to waver. Growing up, even in a loving family with good friends, is never easy. She tried her best to not compare herself to others, but sometimes it was hard to not when she was always around her gorgeous and tall friends, so she got a bit used to be overlooked and most of the time it didn’t bother her. When she met Jungeun it was the one time it did.

Haseul had just began her second year at high school and she was still trying to remember her schedule and find common classes with her friends, worried about the workload and even a bit annoy for having to go back to school. The corridors were full with freshmen and although she didn’t mind giving them directions and what not, she wasn’t paying them much attention. It was Sooyoung who noticed the two new girls, not that the shortest one of them was being any subtle at staring at the girls, while the other girl was much better at feigning disinterest. Jo had found the way she tried to conceal her feelings quite endearing, and perhaps it was right at this moment that she start to fall for Jungeun – just as the girl fell for Jinsol.

They naturally became closer, their little groups becoming a bigger, louder one. It didn’t take long for her to notice that any feelings she had would only be a burden for the group, so she tried her best to turn it into platonic love, the type Jungeun needed now. Therefore, she took a step back whenever the other girls were acting too much like a couple, focusing on her studies instead. Sooyoung still made Haseul tag along on her dates with Jiwoo, and they both would catch a break on being such an annoying couple once in a while, just to make her feel included. She never told anyone about her embarrassing crush – that maybe was more than just it – but her best friend was good at picking up her mood and tried to distract her the best way she could.

It was easy to ignore her feelings for Jungeun and doom it as a mere crush when she only had to see her when they were around other people. Fortunately or not, on her third and Jungie’s second year of school, she was caught in a rather complicated situation. It was obvious to anyone who had eyes that Kim was head over heels for the blonde, so obvious that it was painful – for both of them. Whether she liked it or not, Haseul was never able to not pay attention to Jungeun, and noticing how hard the other girl was trying to repress her feelings, she couldn’t help but interfere. How dumb of her. Yes, she managed to cut Jungeun some slack by offering to tutor her instead, but now she was the one that had to handle the pain of concealing her feelings when every moment they spent together only made her like the younger woman more. Now she was falling in love not only with Jungeun pretty eyes and beautiful smile, nor just with her quirk remarks and tsundere facade. She was falling for every aspect of her personality, the strong headed that kept her afloat in a wrecked family, the hardworking side that would make her push through always, the dork side that secretly loved watching cartoons and eating sugary food, and even her shy side that appeared once in a while and made her look much younger and innocent.

As if it wasn’t enough, she had the bad luck of giving her first kiss to the very own girl she knew wouldn’t ever be able to return her feelings. The whole situation was a mess and she had dashed out of the party as fast as she could without making a scene. Putting on an act after this was ten times harder.

At this point she was too into deep to be rescued. Know more about Jungeun made her realize that the feelings she had weren’t simple or temporary, it made her want to keep the girl always by her side and protect her from the world that had been so harsh on her. But she couldn’t and she should accept it before it only hurt them both more.

She was glad when she saw her name in the list of acceptance for the college she always wanted – follow her parents steps might not be everyone’s dream, but she had inherited their passion for the business and she was determinate to take over it one day. Moreover, it was a relief to leave high school behind, perhaps she could leave her unrequited love behind as well.

So, she tried. Haseul tried to have fun, tried meeting new people and going to new places, she even tried a new hair color – she still liked her brown hair better. And It worked, to some extent. She indeed had fun and she felt a lot more comfortable in college than she was in high school. However, she didn’t get to shot down her feelings completely. Abandoning Jungeun wasn’t something she could do, and before she knew it, she was working her schedule around their tutoring sessions and skipping weekend parties to have sleepovers with the girl instead. Jo would tell herself it was only because Kim really needed all the help she could get and Haseul was only being a decent friend by doing this. However, it would be lie, because all the fluttering feelings and the gentle warm on her chest would be there every time she met the girl. She couldn’t even lie when this one girl she was seeing for two weeks started asking who was the ‘little blondie’ she kept on video chatting instead of paying her attention – no need to tell their relationship didn’t last.

Helping Jungeun succeed had worked, but it came with a price. Less than two months after the girl was in college, Jinsol and her became an item – officially at least. And to this, Haseul could only fake a smile as she tried to convince herself that she was happy for both of her friends. She had to fake a cold to avoid the couple for a couple of days, allowing herself this time to mourning her feelings that should be buried for good now.

And like always, she pushed forward. It would be a lie to say Haseul didn’t consider the idea of cutting them off their life and avoid the hurt of seeing the couple every day together, but still, Jinsol was her friend of years and Jungeun was very dear to her, their friendship was more important than fickle love. It wasn’t easy and took her weeks to have a proper conversation with them without finding a excuse to leave. So she tried to find someone else to pour her love into and although it never worked, the time made the pain weaker and easier to handle, it made her accept how things were.

By the ending of college, the aching pain in heart had become fainter. She dated a couple of times, and even though it never lead to something serious, hopefully she would have better luck in the future. Or she supposed so.

Fate was really playing with her, a sickly game she must say.

First Jinsol left, putting her in an awkward position having to support Jungeun through her last year of study, while handling her own adult problems with work at the company.

And then, the worst happened. It was just a normal day at office until she received the call and just a couple of hours later her world was disintegrating around her as she sink into the cold plastic chair of the hospital after receiving the news that none of her parents was able to make it alive. She barely recalled the moments after it, feeling too numb to even cry, she had been hugged by Jungeun, Sooyoung and Jiwoo, all three girls trying to console her when everyone knew it wouldn’t be possible. Her parents were old, her distant relatives even more, she barely had anyone to contact and had to deal with everything on her own. The girls tried their best to help, but there was only so much they could do.

For months, all she could think about was how much she missed her parents and how much she didn’t want to disappoint them, what made her work even harder to keep the company going even when she didn’t have idea of what to do. Jungeun would sleep over often, almost acting like a mother and making sure she ate and didn’t overworked herself, and even when Kim was busy with school, she still managed to always keep an eye on her. Their relationship entered a new phase then, something that was above crushes and study sessions, and Haseul found a new love for her – a pure one, the sort of love that can only be born from people who had gone through a lot together.

It was weird, but Haseul wished more than anything that Jinsol came back faster and granted Jungeun the happiness she deserved. It was only fair that the person who brought happiness back to her life, to get her own.

Nevertheless, Jinsol never came back. Not for Jungeun’s graduation, neither for her birthday or even Christmas – and it was Jo who was there with her all along, just like Kim was by her side. The breakup of the two girls was another low point in Jungeun’s life, one that once again, only brought Haseul and Jungeun closer.

Before she realized it, their lives had changed to fit each other, they would spend so much time together and while at first it was just a way to support each other, slowly it became a comfortable routine. Her ‘little blondie’ friend was now a brunette, but it wasn’t the only thing that changed about her. She was a strong woman with a career and dreams, dreams that Haseul wished she could always be a part of.

And now she was. She hoped it wouldn’t ever change.

Jungeun met Jinsol at the aquarium, being greeted by the blonde’s bright smile. Seeing Jung again brought her so many memories, mostly from when they had first met. Jinsol hadn’t changed much since then, but she had.

“Hey. I hope I’m not interrupting any work.” She gestured towards the water tanks where a squid swam calmingly.

The taller woman shook her head in a negative, taking a place beside Jungeun to admire the tank as well. “Thanks for agreeing on meet me.” As it was a nervous habit of hers, she scratched the back of her neck, giving Kim an apologetic smile. “Haseul seemed…Annoyed yesterday, I guess I really have no sense.” She made a face, before letting out a soft, awkward, chuckle. “It’s funny that she didn’t get any better at hiding her emotions.”

Jungeun couldn’t contain her own laugh, her wife was talented in a lot of things, but she definitely lacked on that department – what wasn’t exactly a flaw. “You on the other hand…For a moment I thought you were really clueless.” She shook her head slightly. “Please don’t misunderstand, she was just surprised, but I bet she also misses you.”

“I know. Haseul is not capable of holding grudges against anyone even if she wants to.” Jinsol smile was different now, smaller, but more genuine.

For a moment she didn’t say anything and Jungeun didn’t try to push it. She knew why Jung wanted to talk and she was okay with it, they should’ve done it long ago but never got a proper chance. “I have a lot to apologize. Back then I was so…Self-centered, so obsessed with holding the world in my hands and do everything I wanted that I didn’t even think...It wasn’t fair with you and Haseul, with my parents, with Soo and Jiwoo...” The blonde sighed heavily, her gaze still lost on the blue water on the tank in front of them. “I wanted to do so much, and I did. I can’t say I regret it all, but…I realize I have so many houses, yet I don’t have a home.”

Jungeun nodded slowly. She could understand Jinsol’s feelings, and she couldn’t really blame the girl for what she had done. At the end of the day they both were just looking for a place where they belonged, she was just luckier for having finding hers already.

“I can’t say I didn’t resent you for a while, but I don’t anymore. We lived a better love story than most do and I should be grateful for having such a great person as my first love…Even if she still dyes her hair a ridiculous blonde even after so many years!” She finished with a smirk, teasing the taller girl that pretended to pout before laughing.

“It’s my trade mark!” Jinsol defended, giving her a warm smile. “I still think I should apologize. I should’ve broken things up before leaving. It wasn’t fair to make you wait for me.” She searched for Jungeun’s hands, taking them gently between hers as she faced the girl. “Just so you know, I thought so, so many times in coming back for you. To ask you to come with me even…But I always hesitated and then I realized that you probably deserved someone who was ready to stay by your side forever, and I wouldn’t be able to offer you this.” The smile was totally gone now, Jinsol’s face painted blue by the lights of the aquarium just like the emotion in her eyes. Jungeun didn’t doubt of her honesty, no matter how things ended, their love for each other had been strong and genuine.

Kim let go of her hands, pulling her into a hug instead. Their romantic love might have ended, but the strong affection she had for Jinsol as a friend would never go away.

“I was at fault too. I always knew you were a free spirit, but I tried to ground you.” She said when they finally broke apart, taking a step back to look at the girl. “I just wished we had realized it sooner.” After breaking up they didn’t act the same, making their awkward calls even more unbearable, she was glad they could speak honestly now. Jinsol had played a huge part in her life, helped her understand herself and what it is to be loved and love back.

“I think I did, I guess I just didn’t want let Haseul steal you away.” Jinsol joked, although she could tell there was some truth in her tone. Jungeun was about to question her when the girl gave her a small smile, pulling her by the arm so they could take a seat by the bench near there. “Don’t make this face. Are you really going to tell me you didn’t know Jo Haseul was Kim Jungeun’s secret admire ever since forever?”

Jungeun scoffed, rolling her eyes at Jinsol’s exaggerated tone. “I wish! You know, I was the one that proposed to her.”

 “Oh, really?” Jinsol furrowed her brows in that cute way that was so typical of her. With a hand on her chin, she gave the younger girl a curious look. “Because I remember she getting all smiles when she saw you in the corridors first week of high school and then she just wouldn’t take her eyes off of you. I had never seen her having a crush before and it was kind cute...You guys even kissed once, you think she would’ve let it happen if she didn’t like you back? It was my first time feeling jealous of someone, so I remember it well.”

It was Jungeun’s turn to frown, her lips pursed in concentration as she tried to remember Haseul’s actions from so many years ago. Back then she was so focused on Jinsol that she didn’t pay attention to the brunette, and even after they became closer she never even thought about the possibility of Haseul liking her. “If you knew she liked me, why you accepted my confession?”

“Hm, I guess the jealousy made me realize I liked you? And Haseul never said anything about it, so I thought she was over you and it would be okay.” Jinsol fidgeted, a slightly grimace on her face. Jinsol was the type that always valuated her friends before love, it must have been hard on her too. “I noticed it wasn’t the case after we got together, and she started acting weird again. I didn’t know what to do, so I tried just not to be too ‘in your face’ when we were around her.” She shrugged again. “But well, in the ending she got the girl. I guess the lesson is that patience is the key for love?” She wiggled her eyebrows in a silly way, trying to lift the mood again and Kim shoved her shoulder lightly in response.

The younger woman’s lips raised slightly, forming a small smile as she considerate everything she heard. Haseul had always been there for her, being it as a study buddy, a playful friend, or a shoulder to cry on. If Soul was right, Haseul must have suffered a lot because of her and still, she stayed by her side loving her. “I was the one that got the best girl.” She finally said, allowing a broad grin to appear on her face. “She didn’t need to steal me away, I guess I was destined to find my way to her.”

Jinsol smiled at first, but soon she broke into a laugh. “Marrying really turns people into cringe machines!” And for that Jungeun shoved her, harder this time.

“Says you, the single loser!” She stuck out her tongue in a childish offense. “And don’t you think I’ll let you off easily. You will make it up to us by showing up at Yerim’s birthday party. You owe us this much after skipping our wedding and all her birthdays, and Christmas and...”

“I get it, I get it! Okay, but…When is her birthday?” The blonde asked, rubbing her supposedly hurt shoulder – she could be a drama queen at times.

Jungeun grinned. “June!”

“This is only next year!”

“Then I guess you’ll have to visit more often.” Jungeun just shrugged with a mischievous smile. Before Jinsol could protest again she continued. “Now tell me about you, what have you been doing all these years?”

She still had plenty of time before meeting Haseul at the pier, and she would use it well, by getting to know her friend again.

Their first date was as clumsy as Haseul in the mornings. It was weird, they just went out for dinner together like they had done so many times before, but still, it felt so different. Jo was having a hard time understanding were they were standing now. Were they a couple? Or just friends who would raise a kid together? Jungeun told her she wanted a family, but they didn’t need to be together in a romantic way for this.

She frowned, so lost in her own thoughts that she barely noticed a warm hand slipping into hers. “Are you always this bad of a company on dates?” Kim asked, using their connected hands to make Haseul stop walking. They were under the light streets, just a couple of streets away from their apartments. Jungie her brows furrowed, her pretty eyes attentive. “Because if the answer is yes, I’d rather for us to just pretend this is a friendly hang out and having your normal self back.”

Haseul left out an airy chuckle, giving the younger woman an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I just got distracted for a bit.” She squeezed Jungeun’s hand lightly, feeling the gentle warm spread through her body. Being around the girl was never a boring or annoying experience, she didn’t want to give the wrong impression, when the problem was actually the opposite. “I don’t want things to change between us. We are so good together already.”

“Changing is not always a bad thing. I’m starting to understand it.” Jungeun’s voice was deeper than usual, emphasizing the meaning of her words. “I think there will be quite a few changes for us, but only good ones.” She smiled softly, taking a better hold of Jo’s hand as she pulled her closer, leaving little room to escape. “Are you willing to try?” Her smile became a little weaker as she stared deep into Haseul’s brown orbs, as if searching for something. Jungeun leaned in, bringing her lips even closer to hers to the point they almost brushed against each other, however she didn’t take the final step, leaving it up to Jo.

Haseul closed her eyes, letting out a shallow breath. She had waited a lot for a moment like this and now that it was here, she wasn’t sure of what to do. It could make or break them and it was up to her to decide.

Ultimately, she gave in to her heart’s wish and without saying a word, she kissed the taller girl. Haseul’s love even after all these years was still there, and for the first time, she had the chance to really show it. And just like the first time it felt right, their lips fitted perfectly and she could feel her heart beating happily in her chest making her feel like the teenager she was once. But, this time they didn’t end the contact prematurely, they savored the moment as the special thing it was and when it was finally time to break apart, both shared a smile that it was more meaningful than any words.

She would always be willing to try for Jungeun and she didn’t have any doubt the woman was worth it.

Haseul had a cup of lukewarm coffee in her hand and distant look on her face when Jungeun approached her, stopping right in front of the girl with a half smile. The smaller woman jumped on her seat, grabbing her cup a bit too tightly.

“Jungeun! You scared me.” Haseul said, fixing her posture while trying to not spill any coffee on herself. Her wife just giggled, obviously not feeling any guilty for scaring her poor distract soul.

“Is not my fault you were daydreaming in a public place.” Jungeun clicked her tongue, offering a hand to help Haseul stand up. The older woman accepted the help, giving the fellow brunette a better look. Jungeun looked relaxed and happy, and the grip around her hand was firm and warm. She seemed perfectly normal. It took Jo by surprise, she didn’t expect to see Jungeun like this when she had just came out of a meeting with Jinsol. Unable to hide her concerns, she voiced the questions that had been bothering her. “How did things go with Jinsol? Didn’t you meet her?”

“Just fine. She and Kahei are coming over for dinner on Wednesday…And you are helping me cook, so be home early. She’ll also come for Yerim’s birthday, and Chaewon’s too!” Jungeun answered quickly, as if she couldn’t wait to share the information. However, it only served to make Haseul even more confused, and as if she Kim knew it, she completed. “We need our friend back. I think this is a good first step. Things won’t be like they used to, but maybe they can be better.” She squeezed Haseul’s hand between hers gently, pecking her cheek lightly. “I would say definitely better, since you’re no longer a third wheel!”

Jo probably should feel annoyed by her wife’s teasing, but she had to refrain from sighing at how relieved she was. Smiling, she took their intertwined hands to her lips, leaving a gentle kiss on it. “Yes, much better since you won’t be staring at anyone like a tsundere puppy and running away as soon as they notice it.” She said in a sweet voice that didn’t match the playfulness of her word and winked at Kim. Not waiting for the comeback Jungeun certainly was about to give, she quickened their steps. “So, where are we going today, honey?”

The taller brown haired woman snorted in fake annoyance, before taking the lead. “Nowhere and everywhere. We are going back in time today.” And with this simple answer, she continued to walk leading them to the first of many stops today.

Jungeun wasn’t joking when she said they were going back in time, in some senses their little journey was like a time machine. The younger girl took Haseul to all the places they used to go when they were younger, including the old karaoke room and Jungeun’s former worker place. Once there, Jungeun would ask her to sing the same songs and order what used to be her favorite, even when they stopped by the river Jungie made sure to put on an old tune to play.

Haseul asked her what was the reason to all that, but all she got was as answer was a vague “Just enjoy the experience.”

Therefore she was left no choice but do as Jungeun suggested. Not that it was something hard to do. She loved being around her wife and experience the nostalgic feeling of remembering their good moments together, simple things that were so dear to her. Back then it was always bittersweet to be with Jungeun knowing that the girl probably would rather to be on dates with someone else, now it was much different. Kim was especially affectionate today, always holding her hand when they walked, hugging her when she had the chance and even stealing kisses. Jungie could be clingy sometimes, but she was never big in public demonstrations of affection, the sudden change was as weird as it was good.

After a nice dinner at a family restaurant that served Haseul’s favorite food, they went back home for a relaxing night watching movies.

Not before video calling their daughter for her obligatory virtual goodnight kisses.

Yerim had her face red from playing hide and seek with Chaewon – by the way Sooyoung and Jiwoo looked disheveled, they took part on the game as well –, and seemed even more bright than usual. Haseul laughed at the sight, while Jungeun frowned slightly, giving Jiwoo a questioning look.

“Sweetie, is late. Don’t give any trouble to your aunts and go to sleep, okay?” Kim asked in a gentle, yet firm tone.

Yerim, being their little angel, nodded with a smile. “We’ll after aunt Soo tells us a story about aunt Jiwoo’s relatives that live in Antarctica!”

“Antarctica?” This time Haseul had to leave the frame for a moment so she could laugh freely.

Jungeun tried her best to keep a straight face and not ruin the story for the kids. “Okay, sweetie. Good night, have sweet dreams.” She sent her a kiss and waved. “I love you! Behave!”

Haseul came back into the frame to do the same. “I love you, sunshine. Sleep tight! We’ll pick you up early tomorrow!” With this promise, the girl bid them farewell, returning the phone to its owner – Sooyoung.

“Hey there, love birds. How are you doing while we are in chaos?” She greeted with her usual dubious smile. Jiwoo appeared out of nowhere, resting her chin on Sooyoung’s shoulder so she could be seen.

“Hey Jungie! Seul-unnie! Don’t worry, the one creating chaos is our little one, not yours.” Jiwoo interfered, speaking quietly so Chaewon wouldn’t hear them. “I don’t know who she took after.”

“You don’t, really?” Sooyoung exchanged a look with her wife, for what the shorter one just feigned innocence as if they all didn’t knew Chaewon endless energy and over the top ideas were a direct result of her influence.

Jungeun cleaned , interrupting the couple. “We are just fine. When we stop by to pick Yerim up tomorrow, I’ll bring breakfast to compensate the extra chaos added to your chaotic home.”

“At least she has some sense…”

“Can you bring me strawberry pie? You know my favorite one from…”

“Okay, I know it! Now, shouldn’t you two be watching the girls? I hear silence, it is never a good signal.” Kim arched an eyebrow and Jiwoo seemed to realized the fellow Kim was indeed correct. “Oh, not again!” She said, leaving the frame.

“Get laid all you want today, because next week is Chaewon’s turn to sleep over your house and you better not call me to pick her up earlier!” Sooyoung said, waving them goodbye before they had a chance to reply.

“Soo never changes.” Haseul chuckled softly at Sooyoung’s remark, noticing Jungeun’s cheeks getting a little red.

“Tell me again why we supported those two getting married and having kids? I’m really worried about how Chaewon will turn out.” Jungeun said, getting the remote so she choose the movie they would watch.

“Because they love each other a lot and we love them? And about Chaewon…Well, I guess we’ll have to make sure Yerim keeps an eye on her.” Haseul shrugged, opening a blanket to cover they both.

“And a safe distance in case she decides to blow things up like Jiwoo used to do when we had lab together.” Jungeun left the remote aside, snuggling closer to Haseul. The older brunette only smiled as she remembered the one time Jungeun ended up with a mysterious pink glue on her hair all thanks to Jiwoo.

Haseul hugged the girl, only then averting her attention to the TV screen. She was hoping for a lightly comedy, but Jungeun had chosen a Japanese drama instead. It was a good movie regardless, therefore she didn’t complain. She wouldn’t have complained even if it wasn’t the case. Watching movies with her wife was something she enjoyed greatly, she loved to cuddle Jungeun while the younger woman slowly fell asleep. Most of the time she finished the movie on her own, but she didn’t mind it, the other woman’s presence was enough to make her feel calm and happy.

Tonight, however, it wasn’t the case. Jungeun didn’t fell asleep even after a long hour passed, instead, she would just clingy onto Haseul, peppering her skin with soft kisses and doing her best to distract the older from paying attention to what they were supposed to be watching.

Haseul always had a weakness for clingy Jungeun and there was no point fighting it, so she turned off the TV to focus on her wife only. She loved when Jungie was sweet, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. “So, won’t you tell me why you are being so…Not a tsundere today? You planned an amazing day for us, and now this…I’m not complaining, but I’m confused.”

Jungeun rest her chin on Haseul’s chest in a way they could look at each other. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m showing you love.” Jungeun’s voice was quiet, but had a serious tone to it, albeit her gaze remained soft and fond as she spoke. “I’m showing you love because I love you, Haseul. And by now I thought you would have figured it has nothing to do with Yerim, but after seeing your reaction yesterday I thought you needed a reminder.”

Haseul opened to speak, but Jungeun gently closed it with a finger. Knowing Jo she was probably apologize for being jealous or worse, thank her, and this wasn’t what Jungeun wanted. She wanted her to realize that even before they decided to marry, she was already in love and she had never fallen out of it.

Fall in love with Haseul was so different from her first experience that it took her a long time to understand that the brunette already had a fixed place in her heart. She had fallen for Jinsol’s looks and aura, it was strong and sudden. While with Haseul, the love was built slowly with every small action, every shared laugh and every little moment that would bring a smile to her face when she least expected. She fell for Haseul’s beautiful and gentle brown eyes, for her awkward laugh, for the way she held her hand whenever she was uneasy, and even for her little antics…She couldn’t pick the family she was born into, but she could pick the one person she wanted to become a family with, and no matter how many times she thought about it, Haseul’s name was the only one that came into her mind.

Their marriage wasn’t perfect, they argued once in a while and Jo’s work was a source of constant complaints from the younger woman, just like Jungeun’s nagging ways could be annoying to the brunette sometimes. Nevertheless, they always found a way to work things out. And she didn’t have a doubt she wouldn’t be as happy with anyone else, that’s why she could face her wife with confidence now.

“I may not have noticed you before, and taken too much time to understand how much I loved to be around you and the way you made me feel, but I know it now. I also knew it in the day I asked you to become part of my family. I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t.” She noticed the way Haseul’s held her breath at the confession and smiled, reaching out to caress her face. Haseul’s skin was soft and a little cold against her hand, the gentle touch was enough to fill her up with a nice, loving feeling. “I love you every day when I wake up and see your funny sleepy face or I hear your voice singing along to the radio. I love you when you’re stressed and fake a smile to not worry me, although you know I can see right through it. I love you when you hug me late night after we had a fight. I love you when you ramble about classical music and old songs. I even love you when you make a fort with Yerim in the middle of the living room and I have to make you both put everything back into place…” She left out a small chuckle, full of fondness. “I love you all the time, Haseul. Jinsol was my first love, but you are my family and my home. How can you ever doubt it?”

Haseul gave her a shaky smile in return, she didn’t want to make a fool out of herself and cry in a moment like this, but her lacrimal glands had a different opinion. She always feared that their relationship wouldn’t be based in more than just friendship and mutual respect, that the extra factor that turned these things into love wouldn’t be there. How foolish of her, look for something that was already there since the beginning. She hugged the younger woman tightly, as if she was afraid that the girl would disappear if she let go. “You are both things for me. My first love, my home and you even were my first kiss. You didn’t leave any space for other people in my life.”

“And I’m very proud of it!” Jungeun said, lifting her head to face the girl with a bright smile that rivaled Yerim’s. They were the epitome of a cliché couple: met on high school, had their first kiss together and now they were living their happy ever after as a family. Sure it didn’t happen as smoothly as she wished, but the important was that they were still here together.

Jo had never felt so dense in her life, still it didn’t bother her at all. Everything that worried her before seem silly and small now. “I love you, Kim Jungeun. Thanks for being my family and my love.” Her lips curved in a loving smile as she kissed the other woman’s forehead – Or at least she tried to, Jungeun had moved suddenly, getting herself comfortable on Haseul’s lap and hugging her by the neck.

“No more ‘thanks’. We are both lucky here.” Cradling the brunette’s face between her hands she leaned in to kiss her. Haseul smiled through the kiss, hugging her wife better. The kiss was gentle and intense at the same time, them both trying to show all their love and care through the contact. Jungeun pulled back with After a couple of quick pecks, the half smile that Haseul loved so much was on her face again. “What about we take into consideration Sooyoung-unnie suggestion?”

Jo returned the smile with her own mischievous one, staring at her wife with fond eyes. “We shouldn’t put their hard working to waste.”

They had made a couple of promises when they decided to marry and both kept their word: Take care of each other, always be loyal and supportive, always find time for the family and put Yerim’s happiness first. Now they had a new one: Never forget where they belong.

A/N: Hello there. This is my second lipseul story and actually took a lot of time to finish it, I’m still not sure how good it is, but well, I always wanted to write lipseul as a cute family lol

The songs featuring in this story are Monday Afternoon by IU (that you can find here, in case you never heard it before), and My Melody by our very own Loona girls Haseul and Yeojin.

I apologize for any mistakes and I hope it wasn’t that terrible of a reading. If you read ‘till here thank you, happy valentine’s day and don’t forget to support Loona comeback next week!