It felt grey.

Wendy was silently taking a sip of her coffee, standing in her kitchen and her eyes lost on the walls.

How long had it been?

A week, maybe? A month?

With a sigh, she put the mug on the table and sat down. She wasn’t feeling anything at all–the skies were grey, full of clouds announcing rain, and she didn't know what to feel.

There was this emptiness inside that kept poking her, following each of her actions. She didn’t know what to do – her cup of coffee was still hot but forgotten, and she couldn’t find something to focus on. She had nothing to hold onto: nothing made sense anymore, and she just wanted to stop everything.

Was she sad? Was she supposed to be sad and crying her heart and eyes out, or was she supposed to be bitter and angry at the world?

Wendy didn’t know what to do.

Did she have to thrash her own house? To get drunk at a random bar surrounded by strangers? To eat ice-cream until her teeth couldn’t stand the cold anymore?

To wander in the streets to try to forget everything?

She looked down at her hands.

What were you supposed to do when you lost your world?

“I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry, Seungwan."

She blinked. What did she want her to say?

“I can’t do this. Not to you."

Could she, though? Wasn’t love something worth fighting for?

“You don’t deserve this."

Wasn’t she worth fighting for?

The coffee was cold, just like the weather.

Nothing made sense anymore. She couldn’t feel the bitterness of a coffee; the heater didn’t make her feel warm anymore. She wasn’t happy, but she wasn’t sad either.

What was she?

Was that how it felt?

She guessed she was heartbroken, after all.

Wendy was lost in her own life with only a broken heart in her hand–was that what she deserved?

You don’t deserve this, she said. Was she worth better? Did she deserve the best?

Then why did it feel like this? Why did she feel so empty?

Was that love? Was it?

She sighed again and stood up when her doorbell rang. She didn’t think much when she moved to open the door, just silently looked at the newcomer with a blank face.

What was she supposed to do?

“Seungwan.”

She blinked. What was she supposed to say?

“Joohyun.” she bit her lips. "Come in, I guess.”

The brown-haired woman nodded and quickly entered, closing the door behind her. She looked around, her eyes lingering on the mug on the table before gazing back at Wendy.

“I hope you’re doing well.”

It had been a little more than a month after all.

“I’m managing. And you?”

What was she supposed to say? I missed you?

It wasn’t her place anymore.

I hope you're eating well?

Joohyun didn’t deserve her worries–she didn’t deserve to know she still thought of her.

“I’m... I’m sorry.”

Wendy blinked.

“I’m sorry for what I did to you, and to us—”

“There’s no us anymore, Joohyun.”

“I—”

“You should know that, since you were the one that broke it off.”

She was standing still, never looking away.

“What are you doing here?”

What do you want? Didn’t you do enough already?

“I’m—I was wrong, Seungwan. I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

In front of her, Joohyun was looking down, her eyes full of tears and her hands tightly closed.

What was she supposed to do? Take her hands and tell her it was alright? That it meant nothing? Tell her she still loved her?

“Joohyun.”

That she still had her world in the palm of her small hands, and that her smile was still her favorite thing? That she still had her heart, even after being so mistreated?

“You don’t—” you don’t get to come back and look at me with those eyes and think we can be like before.

“You don’t stomp on my heart like it means nothing and come back just to say you were wrong. You don’t get to crush my heart like a piece of paper and burn it and think it’ll come out alright.” She took a deep breath. “You don’t have any rights, Joohyun. What were you thinking? That I’d welcome you back with open arms? That I’d tell you it was fine, and then we’d move on?”

“God, what were you thinking?”

“You had my whole heart. You were my whole world.”

Wendy finally looked away. “And you destroyed everything.” It wasn’t fair, she thought. She didn’t deserve any of this now, she was sure. “I loved you with everything I had and with everything I could. Why couldn’t you do the same?”

Was she the only one?

“Seungwan... I know I was wrong. I spent everyday without you regretting what I did and I know I hurt you and I never wanted to—”

“But you did! You did, and it still affects me even now. What do you want? What do you want from me? Didn’t I give you enough?”

Wasn’t she enough?

“I just—”

“Wasn’t my heart enough?”

Joohyun's head snapped towards her. “It was, Seungwan!” Her eyes finally met hers, steady yet still full of tears. “God, it was. You were enough–you still are! I just—I took you for granted and I shouldn’t have, and I acted wrongly and I know, alright. I know. I'm sorry.”

“What do you want, then? Forgiveness? Give me more time, and maybe I can do that. I'm not sure. Just tell me. I’m too tired of this.”

“I want you back. I still love you and I never stopped–and I know my actions say otherwise but I still do. You still have my heart, just like I hope I still have yours. Please. I know I can do you better.”

“Please.”

Was she worth fighting for?