angst.

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Just like that, Kibum tutoring Taemin became a relatively normal occurrence. Even though he Key did the job more often, Kibum and Taemin still saw each other enough time to establish a number of inside jokes the two of them could laugh about for hours.

Sometimes the talked to each other at school, but it seemed to piss Jongin off a lot, so Taemin tried to keep the chatting to a minimum.

His English was slowly getting better, too, and on his last test, Taemin had managed to score a solid 74%. His teacher congratulated him after the lesson and asked him who was helping him. When he mentioned Kibum’s name, knowing that she couldn’t possibly know his twin sister, she smiled.

“He’s a nice boy and definitely an excellent tutor. I’ve never taught him myself, but I heard a few things about him from my colleagues. It’s weird – they all say there’s something peculiar about him, maybe because of the way he behaves. He’s not like most other male students, but then again he’s friends with Choi Minho, who, by the way, is also failing English…”

Taemin bit back a remark about how it didn’t matter how Kibum acted. It was none of the teachers’ business if he was more feminine than other boys, or if he kept to himself whenever he wasn’t with Minho. Who even decided what was normal and what wasn’t?

Nonetheless, Taemin felt good when he exited the room a few minutes later, knowing his grades were rising. He couldn’t wait to tell Key, but he didn’t have a tutoring lesson today since his coach had called up an extra practice to prepare his dancers for the approaching competitions.

The excitement and anticipation of the next day gave Taemin an energy-boost and he managed to please his coach, too – another thing he could tell Key. He knew the older girl liked dance, too, so she would understand his pride.

Taemin couldn’t wait for the next day to come. When school was finally over, he practically sprinted all the way from the bus stop to Key’s home, pressing the doorbell thrice instead of once, as if that action would make the door open faster.

Shifting his weight from one leg to the other, Taemin impatiently waited for Key to get the door. It usually didn’t take her long since she was always in the kitchen preparing some kind of snack – her cooking skills were godly – and it wasn’t far from there.

However, today at least four minutes passed until Taemin finally heard the shuffling sounds of footsteps in the hallway. Seconds later, when the door opened, Taemin was already wearing his brightest smile, though it dropped as soon as he saw Key’s face.

He didn’t know what he had expected beforehand – everything to be normal, probably, since there had been no indicators something strange had happened. Nonetheless, he was greeted by a girl with a bare face, slumped shoulders and tear streaks on her cheeks.

She was barefoot, even though it was still cold outside and when she recognized Taemin, a weak smile made its way onto her face.

“Oh Taemin, I forgot you were coming today,” she told him, but her voice cracked terribly and Taemin’s heart clenched painfully in his chest.

The mere sight of Key made him want to cry.

“N-noona?” he stuttered, completely baffled.

He had known Key for quite a while now, but the only time he had seen her sad was the day they had eaten chocolate pie with Jongin – weeks before she had started tutoring him. Not to forget, Taemin had never seen her cry before.

Key was standing in front of him in a pitiful state, now fiddling with her own fingers while looking at the ground.

“I’m fine,” she tried to convince Taemin.

Then she started crying again. She stood there, full on sobbing and shaking from the force of her cries and Taemin was at an absolute loss for what to do.

What on earth had happened? His brain provided him with an answer too fast – horror scenarios appeared in his head, pictures he had never wanted to imagine.

Something terrible must have happened to Key and its impact alone was enough to make Taemin feel sick when thinking about its cause. He carefully stretched out his arm but didn’t dare to touch Key. What if she freaked out?

Suddenly, a particularly loud sob wracked her body and Taemin’s hand accidentally brushed against her arm. He quickly pulled it back, scared to overstep her boundaries in any way, but she didn’t react to the touch at all.

Key just stood there, sobbing.

So Taemin pulled her into a hug. It had been an impulse, the first thing to come to his mind just now, and if he had spared the action one thought, he wouldn’t have gone through with it.

However, this time the irrational part of him got to act and before Taemin could comprehend what had just happened, Key was in his arms and crying into his shirt. Although Jongin’s sister was usually a bit taller than Taemin, it was the easiest thing to hold her.

She was pliant like a small child and Taemin physically ached when he felt her fingers dig into the fabric of his jacket, desperately holding on to it like a small child. To him, it felt like Key was completely wrecked and he was the only one keeping her together somewhat.

Key didn’t speak as she cried, but her endless tears said more than enough about her state of mind. After a while, Taemin began to the back of her head. He whispered soothing words to her like his mother used to do for him in hopes her cries would finally subside.

If anyone were to walk by the house right now, Taemin didn’t know how he would explain himself.

It didn’t matter, though. What mattered was the fact that Key was in his arms like he had always wanted her to be, except for the fact that she was crying her eyes out and he could do nothing to help her.

“You’re alright,” he whispered into her ear, “you’re gonna be alright.”

Finally, after an eternity of holding her and not knowing what was wrong, Key’s sobs became weaker until they stopped completely. Taemin felt a spark of hope in his chest. Maybe Key had just needed to let everything out and she would be back to normal now.

However, one glance into her eyes confirmed his fears – that she had just tired herself out. She looked so broken that Taemin was sure he couldn’t ever help her, no matter how much he wanted to.

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing Key told him in a scratchy voice. “I ruined your shirt.”

Taemin looked down and found that his school uniform was wrinkled and blotchy with wetness, but he quickly shook his head at Key nonetheless.

“Don’t worry, noona, I don’t mind. Please don’t feel bad about it, I have a ton more at home! My mum can wash it! I can wash it myself!”

He almost expected a snarky reply along the lines of ‘and have it decrease in size until it can barely fit a toddler – no thanks’. But Key only said, “I should have given you a warning, though.”

After that, there was a pause. The silence between them was quite awkward because Key looked like a wreck and Taemin didn’t know what to say. He desperately needed to know what had happened to her, but he didn’t want to trigger more tears if he asked.

“I’m- Are you okay?” he finally managed to get out, only to slap himself mentally afterwards. “I mean, of course you’re not, at least I don’t think so but maybe you just hit your toe on the doorframe before I came…

“I mean it’s quite obvious you didn’t, I’m sorry I even said that, I just don’t know… What do you want to do?”

Now it was Key’s turn to tell Taemin not to worry and she did it with a sad little smile that pretty much broke his heart.

“I…It’s complicated, y-you wouldn’t want to listen…”

“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty certain I would.”

Taemin couldn’t keep the words from slipping out of his mouth and afterwards, he couldn’t bring himself to regret them either. What did he have to lose? Key was obviously hurt and the situation couldn’t get any worse.

Either, she would send him home or she would ask him to stay – it was as easy as that.

“I’m not hurt or anything,” Key quietly said. “Nobody touched me inappropriately and…no one died either. It’s just that… I’m being stupid. If you want, you can go home. You probably have dance practice to attend anyway, right?”

“I don’t wanna go home, though.” In any other situation, Taemin would have given himself an award for boldness. “You’re obviously sad and maybe I can help a bit by making a tea or a hot chocolate for you, whichever you prefer. We can sit in the living room and talk about it or we can talk about something else. We can even be silent, if that’s what you want. But I wouldn’t feel good leaving you like that.”

His words had obviously taken Key by surprise since she opened only to close it again immediately afterwards, as if all words had slipped from her mind. It took her a few seconds to respond, but when she did, she sounded a little less sad.

“Th-thank you, Taeminnie, but I’d rather not…stay here. It’s no good for me today.”

“How about we go get coffee then? I’ll pay. But you should put on some shoes first.”

“R-right, my shoes.”

And that was how Key and Taemin ended up in a café half an hour later. There wasn’t a lot of space since the shop was quite small, but neither of them cared. It just gave them an excuse to huddle close together, something that Key seemed to welcome but left Taemin with sweaty palms and a racing heart.

After they had ordered, Taemin’s arm was still wrapped around Key’s shoulders and she was leaning towards him as if she was a small animal seeking shelter. Of course, Taemin was happy to provide her with warmth, but at the same time he doubted he could survive another hour like this.

Having Key this close was torture. He could smell her shampoo which, for once, wasn’t drowned out by the perfume she used. Her hair scratched along his neck, which was slightly uncomfortable, and all those things cruelly reminded him of the fact that Key wasn’t his.

However, she seemed to need the proximity right now, so he endured all of it without a word.

Their orders arrived quickly and as they started eating, Key started talking. At first it was just the usual banter, conversations about teachers, and school and funny situations and dancing – she obviously wasn’t ready to address her crying yet.

When she did, though, Taemin wasn’t prepared at all. By now, they had shifted so that they were sitting across from each other, which was hardly any better since Taemin could feel Key’s piercing eyes on him at all time. The moment she finally mentioned earlier, though, her gaze went downwards until she was staring at her latte as if it could tell her her fortune.

“I fought with my dad,” she admitted shakily as she brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “We don’t really get along well sometimes and this time his words really hit me hard. My reaction was probably a bit too much – it’s actually really embarrassing. But I’ve been sitting in my room crying all day and when I saw you, I just needed to let everything out.”

“So… You just fought with your father?”

Key nodded sadly.

“Yeah, I did.”

“And will you make up later?”

“Probably… If he comes home early enough.”

“See, that’s a good thing.”

“I guess…”

Key trailed off, her eyes staring at an invisible spot on the table that Taemin couldn’t see. Then, she raised her head and said, “you don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’m sorry if you thought it was something really bad, as I said, I was only being a little stupid. But let’s talk about something else now. English for example – don’t think just because I can’t control my emotions I can’t teach you!”

The rest of the afternoon was spent revising vocabulary and grammar, but Taemin always managed to distract Key somehow. He had made it his goal to make Key laugh as much as possible and what he did seemed to work, since her giggles soon filled his ears.

They managed to have a good time, even after what had happened and even if Taemin’s breath hitched every time Key leaned in closely to tell him something. Later, he realized that this was the closest he would ever come to having a date with her and the thought made him smile like an idiot.

No matter how helpless he had felt earlier, he had managed to make Key smile and that was enough for him to feel happy.

When it got dark outside, the two decided to leave the café but Taemin insisted on walking Key home like a gentleman. If they were on a pseudo-date, he wanted to show her his good manners by biding her goodbye like a real man.

Finally, they had to part when they reached Jongin’s house and Taemin pouted – he didn’t want the day to end yet.

“This afternoon was great, Taeminnie,” Key quietly told him as they stood in front of the door. “I’m…still sorry you had to see that earlier, but at the same time I’m so grateful. You’re a great person, Minnie, and this afternoon was really a gift to me. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

She smiled shyly and averted her eyes, making Taemin blush. If she knew how fast his heart was beating inside his chest, his feelings would be exposed. But luckily, he was wearing a thick jacket and Key finally let go of his arm.

“Thank you so much, Taemin-ah.”

Then she turned towards the door and a few moments later, she had gone inside, leaving Taemin to stand outside in the cold and melt into a puddle of goo at the memory of the fond look in her eyes when she had left him.

Taemin really did love Key.

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i got a bit emotional earlier, but i think i'm gonna write a bit more now so it's okay bc i'm also inspired.

also, i've finished one third of my written finals and one fifth of my finals in total - i wrote abt to kill a mockingbird (which is a great novel in my opinion), mr. tiny hands trump and prejudice. next up are german on monday and maths on wednesday, after that i'm done w the written part! wish me luck.

i'm alr so hyped bc my best friend and i are going to a japanese restaurant on thursday when she's done as well and i don't treat myself often (and i like food sm).

okay, but enough banter that isn't interesting anyway. btw to the ones who are theorizing in the comments / by themselves abt how this story will go on - pls continue to tell me what you think, it's rlly so fun and interesting for me to read your theories. thank you!