X - Lie

Let's talk about , baby

me putting out the first of this story on jonghyun's birthday? it's more likely than you think

disclaimer: i don't agree with taemin's thoughts, actions and conclusions in the last scene.

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“Hyung!” Taemin greeted Minho from afar when he saw him leaning against a locker with a bored expression.

Jongin had been back at school for about a week now, but he seemed to disappear a lot so Taemin was left on his own again. Therefore, he was happy he had found Minho, especially as his nerves had been plaguing him all morning – today, he would receive the results of his English exam.

When he came closer, Taemin realized that Kibum was there, too. He stood beside Minho, talking to someone on the phone.

“Minho-hyung!” Taemin repeated when he reached his senior. “I’m getting my exam results next lesson and I-“

“Shh, be quiet for a second, Taemin-ah,” Minho hushed him quickly. “You can tell me when Kibum’s off the phone.”

“Oh right, sorry.”

Taemin obediently shut up and although he wasn’t doing so deliberately, he found himself listening to Kibum’s conversation, or at least the part he could hear. Jongin’s brother sounded a bit shaken and more emotional than usual, but his words gave away that he had been worse off earlier this day.

“I promise I’m alright, Jjong!” Kibum spoke into the phone. “And no, you’re not going to come pick me up, you stupid dinosaur. I’ll survive – I’ve gotten through worse, you of all people should know that…yeah, no, I’ll be alright. We can see each other tonight if you want to, maybe I can sleep over.”

Taemin frowned. In the course of the last week, he had witnessed just how close Kibum was with Key’s boyfriend. It was weird – Taemin felt like he saw the two boys interact a lot more than he saw Key with Jonghyun.

Of course, that may have been because Jonghyun didn’t go to their school and neither did Key – Taemin only saw Jongin’s sister during their lessons in the afternoon – but he still couldn’t drive away the weird feeling that had settled in his chest.

Something was off, Taemin knew it.

It wasn’t only the fact that Kibum and Jonghyun were together all the time, the younger sleeping over or being picked up from school by Key’s boyfriend – Taemin had also overheard a few conversations between Minho and Kibum already, and each time, he had felt like he was missing something.

At first, he had been able to follow just fine, but at some point, the words being exchanged between Minho and Kibum just hadn’t made sense anymore.

It was like everyone had a secret and Taemin was the only one who didn’t know – and frankly, he hated it.

“Don’t worry now, okay?” Kibum’s soft voice wormed its way into his brain. “You don’t have to, Jjongie, I promise I’m fine.”

There it was again, the odd fondness in Kibum’s tone that appeared whenever he was talking about Jonghyun.

“Thank you. You’re the best, do you know that? I…” Kibum cleared his throat. “I’ll see you later. Bye.”

After hanging up, he stepped over to Minho and Taemin, greeting them with a lopsided smile.

“Sorry I took so long.”

“Don’t worry, we don’t mind,” Minho gently told his best friend as he wrapped an arm around Kibum’s shoulder.

Again, Taemin didn’t understand why Kibum was being treated like he could break any moment – but now he remembered what he had wanted to tell Minho a few minutes ago and his mind was immediately occupied with the dooming horror of his next lesson.

“You’re looking a bit nervous, Taemin-ah,” Kibum immediately noted. “Are you alright?”

The younger boy let out a nervous laugh, but Kibum’s soft gaze made him feel a little better.

“Yeah, hyung. It’s just that I’m getting my exams next lesson and…”

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“I’m so proud of you, Taem!”

Key smiled one of her dimpled smiles that made Taemin’s heart flutter. She was looking great today, with rosy cheeks and gleaming eyes as she looked at the paper placed in front of her.

She thoroughly scanned it, her brow furrowing slightly, and Taemin felt his heart drop – what if she found any mistakes? However, when she looked up at him, she was still wearing a gentle smile and with a racing heart, Taemin returned it.

“I-Is it good?”

He was as nervous as he had been during their first ever lesson, even though he had done so well getting used to Key’s presence in the last few weeks. However, now that they finally were to reap the benefits of their hard work, he felt a whole new sense of anxiety creeping up on him.

“Aww, you’re so nervous,” Key pointed out, making Taemin blush. “You don’t have to be – this is…you did great! I’m so proud of you, Minnie!”

Her words sounded so genuine that Taemin couldn’t help but beam with pride. Of course, he had been happy when he had seen his results on the English exam, but Key’s approval made everything a million times better.

“You deserve a treat!” Key quickly decided as she got up from her chair. “How about I get the two of us some icecream? It’s been pleasantly warm outside these last days.”

She was right – finally, the weather seemed to have realized it was time for a change and although Taemin didn’t trust the sun yet, he was grateful for the warmth the beams brought to him. Another benefit was the fact that he would get to see Key in more different outfits than before.

Taemin was aware he probably sounded like a ert, but he honestly didn’t mean it like that. Of course, he had fantasized about Key – which teenager wouldn’t, really? – but when it came to clothes, Taemin just really loved looking at her.

She had told him she was into fashion, sometimes tailoring her own pieces, and Taemin definitely had to admit she had a great sense of fashion – just like her twin.

“Okay, here comes the most important question?” Key suddenly called from the kitchen counter. “Chocolate or vanilla?”

Taemin heard her giggle and quickly went over to her.

“Hmh…” he hummed to create suspense. “I think…chocolate!”

Key clapped her hands in delight.

“You’re so smart! Can you believe my moron of a boyfriend likes vanilla better? And he refuses to eat pineapple on pizza?”

“Scandalous.”

Taemin mirrored her shocked expression for only a second; then the two of them burst into laughter.

“Jjong is hopeless!” Key giggled. “With clothes, too. Sometimes I have to dress him up – he would leave the house wearing two different kinds of shoes, but I won’t let that happen.”

“You must be having a hard time with him,” Taemin joked.

The fact that not even the mention of Jonghyun could dampen his mood was another indicator for his high spirits. He felt great, a bit dizzy from success and too light, as if he had gotten drunk on his success.

“Now tell me, Taeminnie, how did you do so well on your paper that you got a B? Last time I checked, you didn’t even know how to spell your own name.”

“Stop, noona,” Taemin whined, “that’s not even true. I’m not supposed to transfer Hangul into English anyway. I didn’t cheat on the exam, it’s just that I’m really this amazing.”

“Yes, I know that…”

Key trailed off, her gaze still resting on Taemin’s face. The eye contact made him a bit nervous – it felt different from usual, more tense and full of meaning.

“Anyway, let me finish these really quick.”

Key nodded at the two bowls and Taemin let her continue her work. In all honesty, he was pretty hungry after all.

Minutes later, the two of them were digging into the unhealthy snack Key had prepared, all the while bickering about Taemin’s English exam. The boy was really proud of himself and he knew his teacher had been pleasantly surprised by his result, too, but at the same time, he couldn’t help feeling a little sad.

After all, his good grade meant he wouldn’t need Key anymore. He would get to dance and really be part of his team – but would it be as fun if he couldn’t see Key?

“What are you thinking about?” Jongin’s sister inquired in a soft voice. “You look a bit troubled.”

“I’m just…”

It didn’t matter if he told her the truth, Taemin realized.

“I’m thinking about our lessons. I won’t be able to see you a lot from now on, even if my parents agree to let me take more tutoring lessons after this exam.” 

“You know, I’d do it without payment,” Key quietly said. “I really like you, Taemin. You probably don’t need me to help you anymore, but I really enjoy spending time with you.”

She looked at him, her eyes wide and dark, and there it was again – the odd sense of connection that Taemin had felt before finding out about her boyfriend. It was the reason he had gotten his hopes up in the first place.

However, now it was different because he knew he couldn’t have Key – she had a boyfriend after all. Why did he feel like they shared something special, then? Taemin was convinced Key loved Jonghyun. She would never cheat on him, not even in her wildest dreams.

“We can meet up in our spare time…” Taemin suggested after clearing his throat.

A lump had formed there and although he had tried to swallow it, it wouldn’t disappear.

“Like friends. I really liked going to that café with you. I like Minho-hyung too. And Jinki-ssi and Jonghyun-ssi seem nice enough. And even if they aren’t, I’d still go there for you.”

Taemin’s breath hitched. For a moment, he feared he had given away too much about the true feelings he harbored for Key. His little speech had sounded too cheesy, like a confession almost, and he already regretted making it.

However, the relief in Key’s eyes made up for all of his worries and doubts.

“Thank you, Minnie. I- That really means a lot. Maybe we can meet up once a week if that’s okay for you. I don’t care about the day or the time, just tell me and I’ll try to make it happen.”

“That sounds good! Really good!”

Even though he was so happy, Taemin suddenly felt the urge to cry. His emotions were so overwhelming and confusing to him that his chest contracted painfully when he looked at Key, at her beautiful face, and realized she liked him too.

Even if she didn’t love him back, they still had a deeper connection. And if that was all Taemin could ever get, he was more than happy with it.

“Would you look at the time,” Key suddenly spoke up, successfully making the tense atmosphere in the room vanish. “I’m sorry but I’m going to see someone later and I still need to take a shower. I hope you don’t mind leaving this early. I’ll text you so we can agree on a date to meet up. Will you be okay on your own?”

“Don’t worry, noona,” Taemin smiled, “I know my way around the house by now. You can go shower.”

“Alright, you’re honestly too kind, Taeminnie! See you soon.”

Key waved hectically at him before skipping off, leaving the dirty bowls on the table. Taemin carried them to the sink, something he would never voluntarily do at his own home, before he began to collect his things. The result sheet went into his bag as well as a pencil and an eraser.

Suddenly, Taemin frowned. He knew he had taken out his pen earlier, the one that his grandfather had given to him, but now it was nowhere to be seen. He looked everywhere, under the table, on the chairs, but didn’t find it.

He knew he had to get it back if he didn’t want his mother to get angry, so Taemin figured he could ask Key – maybe she remembered where he had left it.

Thinking for a moment, he grabbed his bag and started to wander into the hallway. However, this time he didn’t turn left like usual and took the stairs instead. He had only ever been upstairs twice when he had visited Jongin’s room, but he still remembered that all the bedrooms were on the second floor.

Trusting himself to find Key’s room somehow, Taemin made his way up the stairs. He looked around for a moment, realizing that her dad had to sleep in the room at the end of the corridor while Jongin’s was the one next to the bathroom.

It honestly wasn’t too hard to find Key’s room since the door was open so that he could peek inside easily. At first, Taemin wanted to march in there immediately, but suddenly Key walked into his field of vision and he saw that she was in the middle of undressing.

She was still wearing her jeans, but her hands were in the middle of ing her blouse.

As if he had been possessed, Taemin froze. He didn’t make a noise, simply staring at his crush as her fingers continued to do their work. 

A part of him knew that this was wrong, that he shouldn’t be spying on a anyone like a ert, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off Key. His heart was beating way too fast, racing inside his chest, as he watched her rid herself of the blouse.

Beneath the fabric, her skin was exposed in all of its milky glory and Taemin realized how bony she was. Her back bones were sticking out from under her skin yet he couldn’t help being mesmerized by the way they moved whenever she shifted into another position.

Stop it, Taemin, you’re destroying everything! Taemin could hear his voice of reason scream somewhere in his head.

Could his voice of reason even scream? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he wanted to leave but couldn’t, his eyes still fixated on Key. One look, he just wanted to see her once.

He knew how wrong this was and already hated himself for it – if she ever found out what he had done, their friendship would undoubtedly be over. Yet Taemin was too weak.

He stood there like a statue as an oblivious Key discarded her bra. The item of clothing dropped onto the bed along with something else that Taemin couldn’t identify. He didn’t care anyway.

Key was on the verge of turning around and he knew this was the moment for him to turn and run away. Suddenly, Key gripped her hair – and Taemin couldn’t suppress a gasp.

His jaw dropped when the wig hit the ground, dark hair spilling out from beneath and framing Key’s face. Taemin must have been noisy, because she immediately spun around.

That was when Taemin was finally struck by the realization – in front of him, where Key had been just a second ago, stood Kibum. He was undoubtedly a boy, his chest as flat as Taemin’s own, but then again, how could he be?

Key was a girl, Taemin knew it – or had everything been a lie?

Kibum’s face had been drained of all color, in stark contrast to his black hair. His eyebrow scar was peeking out between his bangs and there was no doubt anymore. This was Kibum, Key was Kibum.

Taemin turned around and ran. He sprinted, down the stairs and out of the house without putting his shoes on. He could hear Kibum’s faint voice calling after him, but the sound only made his legs move faster.

With his heart beating painfully hard in his chest, he ran until he was about to collapse. Only then, he halted, gasping for breath while frantically blinking away the tears that had formed in his eyes.

Taemin was at a loss for what to do.

This was the worst, worse than anything he had lived through so far. The person he had fallen in love with was a lie, nothing more than a character in a drama – or was she not? In any case, Taemin had fallen for an illusion, for a lie that he had been told, and that was what hurt the most, even more than the guilt that gnawed at him as he staggered home.

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wow....okay....you probably hate me now. or do you hate taemin? or both of us? i kind of hated him while writing this - you can't just spy on people while they're changing like that, no matter how hard you are crushing on them.

anyway - as for key and kibum, i'm pretty sure all of you expected it at some point. i've had a few comments telling me suspicions and i guess they were all quite close to the truth. it's funny how all of you thought the braces were a hint though - i didn't even remember making key wear them.

i hope you'll be pleased to hear that the story is far from being over - it's only just gotten started. there is a lot more to this part, and i'm currently working on a second part as well (which is a lot darker and harder to write than this one, but it's part of the story i'm telling and i don't want to dismiss it). hopefully, you'll continue reading even if you're mad.

lastly, i want to say that what taemin thought in that last scene isn't my opinion at all. i can imagine that it may sound triggering to some people when he directly refers to kibum's chest for example or the conclusions he draws - please keep in mind that he is super shocked. he just found out key is kibum and doesn't know what to make of it. if you give him a little more time, he'll definitely progress in some way.

goodbye as for now. i'm nervous to post this chapter since it determines where the story is going and it's a key point (key....lol). i hope you'll like it nonetheless!

ps: i'm leaving for the netherlands on friday so i probably won't update until monday next week. i'm leaving you all with a cliffhanger.

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Comments

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TamaoHime
#1
Chapter 18: I just spent the last 3 hours binge reading this (which I really shouldn't have, cuz the sun is coming up now ^^') and wow
I will read the second part later/tomorrow.
vampireme12
#2
Chapter 18: Aww no taekey :( well, honestly, I saw this coming as the story progress. I just had high hopes for a Taekey, thus, I havent commented until now--the end. Hmm.. I expected Taekey but JongKey is good too. Anyway, this is your story to tell not anyone else's. Thanks for sharing this fic :))
CamiiAusterlitz #3
Chapter 16: ❤️
HanabiPC
#4
This is getting pretty intense! I have high hopes for Taekey.
vampireme12
#5
Chapter 13: Agree. More taekey please!
I am starting to think this is jongkey coz of less taekey sweet moments lol kidding although they talk often (in most of the chapters) it is not enough to quench my taekey thirst xD
SuperShannon
#6
All right, more TaeKey! Thanks!
wantonewsbabies
#7
Chapter 11: I just feel bad for his actual best friend Jongin. He's been all but abandoned and still Taemin thinks he's being a jerk for avoiding him. Literally, he's been ditched by his best friend for his sibling and they straight up didn't care....I get why but I feel bad for him. He needs a new best friend since Taemin is so occupied.
Idk why I feel so bad though, I usually don't give two shakes about Jongin in these fics lol
Renetta1
#8
Chapter 1: ^^ I can't even ~~
mezi88
#9
Chapter 10: Imagining myself as Key, helping my lil bro's friend and finding them cute is possible but to feel like Taem is hard? Coz the age diff seems obvious during hugh school but not when you are both adults. I hope this wont affect Key much ;; now i am afraid of what Tae will do.

Thank you for writing Jjong too. I miss him ㅠㅠㅠㅠ i hope your job interview went well~
mezi88
#10
Chapter 8: I hate to say this but now i am so nervous waiting for Jonghyun's character to finally develop. Maybe because i just miss him. Poor taeminnie. I know how it feels to have a broken heart.. it is hard to move on ;; Key seems to love Jonghyun very much.