how do i know why the sight of you makes me weak? each time i see you turn onto my street; your hair is always up in a bun; this girl is the one

- vegetable car, joshua radin

 

Kang Seulgi hates the subway.

If one asks her why, she can give a myriad of reasons in record time. In fact, she has them all written down on a list, scrawled somewhere behind her Quantum Physics notes and only the cons column filled up.

(Though, it was more to pass the time than anything else because her class was just that tedious, and she only has ten bulleted reasons. But still…)

One bullet states how much she detests Seoul’s subway system, and the scary, unfriendly guards who check everyone’s bags. While under it is the people behind the ticket booths and their alright, get out of here already attitude.

Another says how much she finds their rules vague and quite unreasonable. (So, it’s totally fine to fellow riders but coffee is not allowed to be brought inside? Ridiculous, isn’t it?)

But then, it’s not like she has a choice since it’s the most practical mode of transportation she can take on her way to Seoul National University.

So at exactly eight am, she jostles her way through Ahyeon Station and stands dutifully on her usual spot.

…

 

Seulgi doesn’t have to wait long before she hears the familiar chug-a-chug. She takes a few deep breaths as she watches the train come to a halt, murmuring here we go as it finally does.

The doors ding open, the passengers align; she braces herself.

Seulgi starts to feel the impatient nudging as soon as the last passenger to get off exits the train car, and fights the urge to push back—or scowl at the very least—at that one person who keeps on poking her back with whatever he’s carrying in his hands.

Whoever he is, he’s extremely lucky. It’s the first day of the month, Seulgi really doesn’t need the bad vibes.

She makes it inside, squeezing her way through until she finds her place by the nearest window from the door; waits as they close before putting her earphones on. She has never liked the sounds of bustling and cranky people on the train, so she turns the volume of her phone up and drowns out the rest of the world.

The drum beat drops at the same time the train starts to move. Rolling in the Deep should keep her company, and she thinks it’ll do, at least for now.

…

 

One stop later, she spots an empty seat a mere five steps away from her place.

She’s on her way to take the seat when some lanky teenage boy with pink hair cuts her and claims the spot, dropping himself unceremoniously. He perches his small bag—compared to hers—on his lap and starts to play with the soccer ball he’s holding in his hands, tossing it back, spinning it forth. He must have sensed her looking because he turns his head and gives her a crooked grin.

Her face twists violently in disgust, and all he ever gets in return is the biggest scowl she can muster. (And the resounding thought of her shoving the soccer ball on his smirking face.)

She can’t wait to write this as reason number eleven on her cons list.

…

 

Three stops from Dangsan Station, the one thing that is keeping Seulgi’s patience intact for the entire ride rushes inside.

She instantly perks up at the first sight of loose sweater and a neat bun of raven hair, her thumb tapping her music pause instinctively. Her fingers quickly unhook the earphones off almost with perfected ease, carelessly stuffing the entire thing inside her bag.

Because who cares about tangled wires when there’s these strong tugs on her heartstrings?

.

 

Purple cotton sweater, white sneakers, and skinny jeans, one would think this girl is an easy catch.

Except, she isn’t really. Nowhere near easy, if one asks Seulgi.

(If she was, it wouldn’t take Seulgi three weeks of trying hard not to stare and failing, and two more weeks, three days and twenty three minutes to scrounge up the courage to ask for her name.

Though maybe, that’s just her.)

…

 

Seulgi watches as the girl looks around for a vacant seat, the tiny dip etching on her forehead when she can’t find any unknowingly coaxing an endeared smile from Seulgi’s lips. Her eyes trail the girl’s every move, until she’s able to settle on that small space at the nearest corner.

The girl’s back is to her, and they’re about three steps apart or so. Perhaps it’s the music Seulgi remembers last hearing: to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die—and she just really, really loved 500 Days of Summer and how Tom and Summer first spoke to each other—that she feels a sudden surge of bravado course through her veins.

With a deep breath, and the fingers of her right hand wrapped securely around one of the train’s many stainless steel poles, she begins to make a move.

Well the pleasure—the privilege is mine.

Another deep breath, then two, syncing with her slow, deliberate movements. One more, and she’s almost ready to let go of the pole—her comfort zone—and Seulgi thinks, she can do this. The girl is almost within her reach that she can’t stop herself from smiling widely.

To die by your side, well the pleasure and the privilege is mine.

Her heart is pounding its way out of her chest, with anxiety, anticipation and a whole lot of other things Seulgi is finding difficult to name.

She swallows the lump she feels climbing up ; moves forth despite of it and the beads of sweat she feels forming on her forehead.

Because it’s just one last step, and she’s finally there.

But the train stops at the same time, so abruptly that she ends up being hurled back into place, and her Hello, nice day isn’t it? turns into a little squeak.

A few curious heads turn in her direction to stare. Seulgi finds herself resting her forehead against the hand still clinging onto the cold pole in defeat, pretending like absolutely nothing happened and that she’s been… asleep.

Make that two weeks and four days now.

…

 

“You’re late.”

Seulgi wordlessly slips inside the café booth, dropping her bag on the empty space beside her in the process; grumbles Subway with a gripe that the other feels from miles away.

Across her, Park Sooyoung—her best friend since birth or maybe even way before that—doesn’t ask further. She knows how much Seulgi hates the train, from the many rants she’s suffered from her all year long. Although, a part of her wonders why Seulgi’s mood just seems to have escalated from slightly displeased to full blown miffed over the past two weeks.

“You said eight am sharp,” Sooyoung adds, annoying Seulgi further. (On purpose, this, Seulgi knows.)

Seulgi hates the idea of being late, and the look alone that she gets from her—the way her face twists into a crinkled scowl—kind of makes her day already.

“I know,” Seulgi sighs, the air heavy. She pulls out her Modern Architecture textbook and flips it open at the bookmarked part a little too forcefully; almost tears the entire page off.

“You seriously need to get a date that isn’t a can of Pringles.”

She looks up from the book and glares at Sooyoung. If she only knew.

…

 

Fifteen minutes later, Moon Byulyi slides inside their booth and makes a show of shoving Sooyoung’s things away, giving enough space for her own. “Hey.”

Seulgi greets her with a small nod, while Sooyoung glowers at her in response, then, “Moonbyul!”

Moonbyul simply shrugs the reprimand off and asks, “What are we studying for, again?”

“Manners.” It’s Sooyoung who answers, still looking unimpressed at how her newly bought textbooks were just shoved to the corner. “Because clearly,” she extends a hand, gesturing at the other girl’s form, “you’re lacking some.”

Seulgi fights off a snort but doesn’t look up from the page she’s reading. The way her head is angled just about hides the amused grin gracing her lips.

Moonbyul leans against the table and fakes a tone. “Oh, I’m ever so sorry, Madame,” she says. “Is that what our early rendezvous is for?”

“No,” Seulgi jumps in, unable to resist this time. “Sooyoung just needed an excuse to make googly eyes at Seungwan.”

Sooyoung picks up the croissant from the plate next to her and points it at Seulgi, a guise—that Seulgi sees right through so easily—so as not to glance at the lone barista bustling about by the counter. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

…

 

The next three mornings she spends on the train are just the same, although that makes it exactly three weeks of Seulgi attempting to get to know that girl. (Or make her look her way, at the very least.) And that fact is just a little bit disheartening.

It doesn’t strike Sooyoung as odd at first, since she pretty much has gotten used to the mood Seulgi comes in with every morning.

(She once thought of making a joke about it being pregnancy mood swings, if not for the obvious fact that Seulgi’s gayer than Ellen DeGeneres and their Math professor, Kwon Yuri, combined. It’s pretty pointless.)

But then, Sooyoung doesn’t really mind since Seulgi is back to her usual self before their morning class starts. That doesn’t mean, though, that she doesn’t want to strangle her those first few minutes she gets off from Seoul National University Station.

…

 

Monday rolls in and Seulgi makes a promise to herself that she’d strike a conversation with her today; maybe meet her finally, if she’s lucky—or brave enough to do it.

She hates the thought of a three-week losing streak, since it kind of puts a dent on her charmer reputation. Regardless if no one knows about the train girl, it still genuinely feels that way. She has never failed to strike a conversation with someone who has tickled her fancy before, and Seulgi certainly doesn’t want this to be the first.

So with a new found confidence that she clings to, and Mindset playing on the earphone plugged in her right ear, she sets foot on the car and waits patiently until the train stops on Mullae Station.

She begins fidgeting in place when Sindorim comes, and by the time they finally get to Daerim, she’s almost a goner.

She unwraps her hand from the pole and flexes her fingers, the sight of the print left by her clammy palm on the silver surface making her grimace. (It’s quite unsanitary, and most likely embarrassing.)

But her eyes light up as soon as she sees her, and she can’t help but look up and mouth a silent thank you when she catches sight of an empty seat right beside said girl.

Like, right next to her, and if it isn’t a sign from Heaven then she doesn’t know what else to call it.

The smile she tries so hard to contain is wide and bright as she maneuvers through the throngs of people scattered all over. She swears she can feel it in her bones.

This is it.

She doesn’t want to look over eager to get there but her feet are betraying her by taking huge strides. Seulgi really, honestly, wants to keep it cool for the sake of a good image and impression, but three weeks of waiting and trying (and the littlest bit of moping) has probably taken its toll, because all she ever feels like doing now is to throw herself onto that seat and get her name. Get this over with.

And maybe make her smile too in the process, because that would really be nice.

…

 

The thing about Seulgi is, when her mind is set on something, she loses focus on everything else, and her brain sort of automatically tunes out anything that isn’t related to her object of attention—including operator announcements and the gradual shift in speed.

The train jerks into a stop, and it’s already too late for her to realize that she’s right in the middle of the car holding onto absolutely nothing. Her arms shoot out for a blind attempt to grab onto any firm handle, but she’s already falling forward and the only thing within reach is someone else’s loose scarf.

Seulgi lands with a solid thud, her face connecting with the cold, hard floor; genuinely feels like crying because her nose has hit something hard and it ing hurts.

She stays still for a few beats, trying so hard not to groan in pain, her eyes screwed shut until the throbbing on her nose subsides. There are already unshed tears pooling beneath her lids when she looks up, but she feels like crying harder because the seat she’s aiming for has been taken, and then she catches onto the different looks everyone is throwing her way, including her.

The doors have slid open though no one seems to be moving—except for that damn guy in a funny business suit who stole her seat—like they are all waiting for her next move with bated breath; if she’s going to embarrass herself even further.

She swears she can hear some snickering somewhere and stifled laughter. (Like she needs any of that right now.)

She gets up to her feet, dusting her pants off in the process as well as the red scarf tangled on her hand. She shyly gives it back to the middle-aged lady standing in front of her, and gets a sympathetic look from her in return. Although the quirking of the lips pretty much gives the lady away.

Still, Seulgi mumbles an apology and thanks her too, before fading as quickly as she can into the furthermost corner. Far, far away from the girl she’s crushing so hard on and everyone else’s eyes.

…

 

On the bright side, hey, at least she caught her attention.

…

 

Thankfully, it’s Moonbyul whom she runs into first when she gets to their campus.

“You’re here, early,” Seulgi states at the exact same time Moonbyul points to the bridge of her nose that she feels still swelling.

“What happened to you?”

“Some dumb accident. It’s nothing,” answers Seulgi. “This is a surprise,” she adds, gesturing at Moonbyul, well, at her presence.

“Yeah, I needed to finish my paper in—” the other girl starts to explain, but she gets distracted by the red spot for a beat, her other hand fidgeting at her side. Ultimately, she just can’t resist stretching a finger out to tap on the swollen part of Seulgi’s nose.

“Hey!” Seulgi shouts, slaps her hand away. “Ouch!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Moonbyul says, but she’s laughing.

“You’re an .” The taller girl elbows her on her side. She cups her nose with a protective hand, but only lets it hover, never really making contact.

Moonbyul sputters from the direct hit, though that doesn’t really stop her from cracking up.

Sometimes, Seulgi can’t help but wonder if it’s Moonbyul Sooyoung is actually best friends with since birth.

…

 

Lack of safety handles gets written as her thirteenth reason under the cons column, with its bullet point noticeably larger and darker than the others.

…

 

Sooyoung misses their entire morning class on a Friday, but shows up in the afternoon with a shimmering red car and a proposition for her two best friends.

Moonbyul already has a fist pumping in the air as soon as she sees the car; shouts, “Check that out!”

Sooyoung’s smug grin stretches so wide, Seulgi honestly feels like her face is going to tear apart. “Yes,” she says, and taps the roof of her brand new Camaro twice. “Check this out.”

Seulgi chuckles softly. “Nice car.”

“I know,” Sooyoung answers flatly, “which is why we’re taking this baby out tomorrow for a spin.” She raises her hand and jiggles the key right in front of Seulgi’s face, proudly showing the keys.

“We can take a drive for as long as you want. I don’t care.” Moonbyul continues to stare in awe as she walks towards the car a little absentmindedly. “I can even live in this car.”

Seulgi’s mind quickly goes through a debate. She still has a mission left to finish in Kingdom Hearts III, one she has been putting off for weeks now in exchange for more study time. But the prospect of driving around does sound refreshing, so she acquiesces. “Sure.”

But then, Sooyoung tells her that she’ll pick her up early, probably at around eight in the morning, and no—just no. Seulgi thinks it isn’t a possibility, for reasons she can’t quite disclose to anyone yet—Sooyoung especially—so she firmly shakes her head. “Wait! I don’t think I’d be able to make it.”

Sooyoung’s almost growling in protest. “Why the hell not? I’m picking you up. All you have to do is wait. Slouch in your couch or whatever it is you do to pass time.”

Seulgi falters a little, having been caught off guard, but she manages to say, “I can’t. I’ve got… dance classes.”

“No you don’t,” Sooyoung barks. In turn, it snaps Moonbyul into attention and makes Seulgi flinch. Her suspicion only grows when Seulgi’s face turns a little paler, and Seulgi’s ducking her head to avoid her questioning gaze.

“I do! I took some dance classes, and I probably forgot to tell you guys about it.”

“Oh please, that’s your worst excuse, yet,” Sooyoung presses on, arching one brow. “You really expect me to believe that, Kang?”

“Yes!” Seulgi shrieks, her pitch high and obviously strained. “Because I really did! Plus I have some grocery shopping to do!”

Sooyoung lifts her weight from resting against her car, crossing her arms above her chest. The defiance in her posture makes Seulgi take a fumbling step back. She smiles inwardly at that, because situations like this are rare for her, before opening to speak and calling out Seulgi on her obvious lie.

But the bell rings, too, and Seulgi jumps at the chance, hightailing out of her sight.

“God damn it, Kang Seulgi! Come back here!”

…

 

Seulgi only planned on riding during weekdays and school days, really.

She swears she did, but after that one Saturday she took the train to go grocery shopping—there was a vehicular accident, which left her no option but to take the subway if she didn’t want to be stuck in traffic in her mom’s precious car—and she saw her, well, as most people say, the rest was history.

She takes the train the whole week now, though she has only seen her once on a weekend. (That Saturday.)

It’s not at all bad, she thinks, since she’s discovered that the subway isn’t as ridiculously filled as it is during weekdays.

It’s not because of a pathetic crush, nor obsession. It’s just—the feeling of not having to fight for a spot inside the car is sort of nice.

Yes, that’s absolutely it.

…

 

When Seulgi sees her again, it’s a Sunday this time.

The girl sits right across her, falling asleep almost instantly as soon as her back hits the chair rest. She looks absolutely tired. There are dark circles forming under her eyes, her hair disheveled though not in an unpleasant manner, more like hurried.

Sheets of paper are sticking out of her books, and her bag is slightly ped. One of her folded pants is a little lower than the other. She doesn’t look hideous or anything; the farthest from hideous, even, just exhausted—maybe too much.

Her head is lolling to one side from time to time, and she’ll wake up in a daze whenever the train makes a jerking motion, only to go back to closing her eyes as soon as they start traveling smoothly again.

At this, Seulgi finds herself asking how someone can look so worn out yet still so beautiful and precious; she finds herself thinking how much she wants to gather this girl in her arms and protect her from every little tiring thing in this world. Like how Hercules did with Meg—or something like that.

She finds herself wanting to take all of her things, and offer to carry them for her—maybe walk her to class just to make sure she gets there safe and sound, even though she absolutely has no idea where this girl is studying.

She cringes right after when she realizes what is actually running inside her head. It’s borderline creepy, well, somehow it is, because, really. Walk her to class? They’re not friends, and she doesn’t even know her name, so the idea is somehow rather frightening in another’s point of view.

She shakes her head at that and laughs weakly. Sometimes, Seulgi doesn’t really get herself either.

…

 

Five minutes and a couple of stolen glances later, the weirdest idea strikes her.

She fumbles with her cell phone and lets it rest against her lap, steering it into certain directions as subtly as she could, until the lens’ aim settles into a satisfying angle—directly at the sleeping girl. She can’t thank the heavens enough that it’s a weekend and the train car is almost empty, though she makes a few adjustments and sets it to silent, just in case.

She hesitates at first, thumb hovering above the camera button because she knows that what she’s about to do is crossing the line. It’s an invasion of privacy, and clearly something below her—or anyone’s—moral standards.

But then, the idea of taking something with her to wherever she goes—without working hard for it—is more than tempting, especially after weeks and weeks of absolutely nothing but failure. Plus, no one knows, no one has to know.

It feels like an easy way out for some reason. Just one shot.

The girl shifts a little and smiles in her sleep, leaving her lips a tad open. She looks so (sinfully) innocent, which leaves Seulgi a huge mess, and slightly incapable of doing something other than gawk at her (and wonder what she’s dreaming of that is making her smile).

Yet, Seulgi thinks, she’s not the kind of girl who deserves to be violated (maybe in some other ways but not this) as well as her privacy, and Seulgi doesn’t want to be the kind of person who does that, so she presses the power button and tosses her phone inside her bag.

With a sigh, she props her elbow against her leg and tucks her fist under her chin. Pictures are nothing compared to the real thing anyways.

…

 

The train is packed as usual the next day, though Seulgi is lucky enough to find a decent seat near the door. She goes through the same routine like she usually does, and fidgets with the sling of her bag as soon as they get to Daerim, like always.

Her breath hitches when the lady next to her stands up and leaves, and she sees the petite girl quickly heading her way, looking relieved. It’s the only vacant seat left and the girl’s carrying quite a lot of things. She has to hold her breath entirely when she figures what it means.

Maybe, maybe, it’s God’s way of punishing her for being such a creep.

She keeps her head low, because she can’t afford to even spare her a glance without blushing deeply in chagrin, although she’s hyper aware of everything. When her vision gets filled with laced hem and those white sneakers, she’s honestly torn between feigning hyperventilation till someone notices and takes her away, or staying firmly in place.

She settles for a mixture of both, shallow breaths while the toes of her feet curl up to keep her from dashing like a mad man. (She’s already a creep; she doesn’t need to look like a lunatic in the girl’s eyes.)

“Excuse me,” she hears the girl say, and Seulgi swears she dies a little on the spot. “Is someone currently occupying this seat?”

Her voice is nothing like she has ever imagined, Seulgi thinks, like a hybrid of fairies, angels and undoubtedly Aphrodite. (She dies a little again at the thought.)

Seulgi lifts her head up upon remembering that she’s being asked, and she suspects she’s probably gawking like an idiot, judging by the amused, stifled smile gracing the girl’s face.

She doesn’t really have anything to say, because her words are all left bundled in , so she shakes her head in response.

The girl’s answering smile is warm and appreciative. “Thank you.”

It’s probably the third time Seulgi has felt like dying and going to heaven. Were she counting.

…

 

Somewhere along the stops Sindaebang and Sillim Street, she realizes she needs to jump on this chance.

The girl you’re dying to meet is sitting right next to you, Seulgi thinks, what do you do?

Ask for her name.

So Seulgi does what her mind has told her and momentarily forgets about the whole picture thing in one lungful of air; breathes out confidence at the next exhale.

Shifting a little, she faces the girl and opens to speak; to finally ask for her name after long, grueling weeks. “Do you know what time is it?”

The girl shuffles to face her, obviously a little startled. The movement causes Seulgi to catch a whiff of her scent, and Seulgi has to dig her nails on her thigh to stop herself from leaning closer.

“I’m guessing your watch has stopped working?” The girl says in answer, eyes darting between Seulgi’s slightly staggered face and the watch wrapped around her wrist.

Seulgi’s mouth opens and closes a few times, mentally berating herself in the process. Because, really, how can she even forget about that.

“Y-yeah,” she finally stammers, beats after. She can feel the tips of her ears start to burn in chagrin. “It did, just this morning.”

The girl bobs her head in understanding. She moves her things—pads of music sheets.. and are those scripts? Seulgi notes mentally—to one arm and raises the other to check the time. “Well, it’s half past eight o’clock.”

Seulgi is almost mumbling when she replies, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” the girl answers, leaves Seulgi a small smile before standing up to get off on Bongcheon.

Seulgi, in turn slaps her forehead with her thick book. The perfect chance is gone, just like that.

,,,

 

But maybe, it’s not all bad, since she’s managed to catch a glimpse of the name written in front of one of the music sheets.

There’s a bounce in her step when she exits Seoul University Station, and Sooyoung’s a little bit disconcerted about her suddenly good mood. Though, Seulgi really can’t bring herself to care.

…

 

The pros column finally gets a bulleted entry, with a huge Bae Joohyun filling up the entire space.

…

 

The next time Seulgi sees her, she’s less nervous compared to how she was before. Probably because she actually got to talk to Joohyun, and she figured that Joohyun’s not the type of person who shuns people at first try.

(And it feels a little bit weird because she refers to her as Joohyun now, as if they’re old time friends, but, whatever.)

So when the train rolls in on Daerim, she’s quite confident. She easily spots Joohyun amongst the crowd, her eyes never leaving her form in hopes that she’d catch Joohyun’s attention in some uncanny way, and Joohyun would recognize her.

Though, she has no idea what exactly happened, because the next thing she knows is that Joohyun’s turning around, facing her direction, and Joohyun’s smiling and waving and bouncing excitedly, that it makes Seulgi’s heart skip a beat.

“Hey!”

Seulgi bites her lip to keep herself from blushing, even though she knows she’s utterly failing because she can feel the hotness fast spreading across her cheeks. She raises her hand and waves back, a little hesitantly (more like awkwardly).

Then Joohyun starts beckoning, and Seulgi’s eyes go wide. It’s such a huge surprise that the thud-thudding underneath Seulgi’s chest almost doubles.

Joohyun shifts her weight onto her other leg, but waits patiently on her spot. Seulgi’s heart is almost on now, and it genuinely feels like she’s going to spew it out if she ever throws up. She has to swallow hard at that.

Slowly, she stands, shifting her books to one side in the process. But she’s met with a sudden bump on the shoulder. When she looks, a girl is rushing from behind her, her sharp eyes trained on somewhere else, which is probably why she didn’t see Seulgi moving.

The girl quickly stops to apologize, but she doesn’t wait for any form of reply before she’s off to wherever she’s going.

Seulgi’s about to say that it’s fine, but the thought dies at the tip of her tongue since she’s already gone. So she just re-adjusts the sling hooked around her shoulder and proceeds to smooth her clothes, brushing invisible lint off along.

When she brings her head up again, Joohyun isn’t looking at her anymore, but is instead talking to the girl she just bumped into.

Her face falls quickly as soon as realization hits her, and she honestly doesn’t know what’s worse: the heavy feeling of embarrassment she feels dropping at the pit of her stomach, or that the smug guy she once wanted to shove a football into wherever has already taken her previous seat, just because.

…

 

She’s cocky, is Seulgi’s first impression, and she smirks a lot—in a not-so friendly way—and her eyebrows arch way too much, well at least, too much for her own liking.

Seulgi can clearly see that they’re close, both physically and metaphorically. Perhaps really close, she notes as Joohyun run her fingers through her hair while she chuckles.

She shoots the girl her sharpest glare, but then, like it matters. Joohyun doesn’t even know she exists. She probably won’t even remember that she was that stupid girl-who-has-a-broken-watch from three days ago.

And the one who face-planted on the floor—although, maybe Joohyun does remember that).

…

 

It’s during one of their impromptu game nights that Seulgi decides to tell Moonbyul about Joohyun, because she feels like she’s going to explode if she keeps it to herself for one more day, for known and unknown reasons.

She shows up in front of her place with a box of pizza and probably the biggest scowl Moonbyul has ever seen on her, and she’s blabbering something about kill strikes, turrets and just ing blowing things.

So like the dutiful and awesome friend that she is, she puts on Fortnite and plugs the spare controller, throwing it into Seulgi’s waiting hands.

She doesn’t bother to ask as Seulgi flops down the couch, since the younger girl will most likely tell her what’s up after blowing off some steam—and some poor random who dares to get in her way.

…

 

In the middle of their third game, she ends up staring at Seulgi in amusement because she has never heard her spew this much profanity the entire time they’ve known each other.

She would totally beat Sooyoung, she thinks as she quickly pushes her glasses back with a finger, and she’s pretty sure she heard her say screw you, , , damn, load all in one breath.

“Get a freaking move!” Seulgi shouts without looking at her, and unloads another round of bullets at her target for the twentieth time. (She’s quite sure it’s a whole magazine she’s spent on the poor thing.)

“That’s for taking my turret,” she grumbles at the screen. “You freaking take everything.”

Moonbyul swallows hard and gets her character moving. She’s absolutely convinced Seulgi chose catseyes as her target for a reason.

…

 

Her first reaction when she finally hears everything about the girl on the train? She laughs.

She laughs so incredibly hard that she accidentally swallows the piece of pizza she’s chewing and it almost gets stuck in . But she’s still laughing even after seizing Seulgi’s soda (it’s the nearest form of liquid) and emptying the can to its last drop.

Seulgi shoots her the sharpest glare in turn, both for stealing her drink and her unceasing laughter. “I’m going to rip you to shreds if you don’t stop laughing.”

The empty threat—she knows this because Seulgi couldn’t even hurt a flower—only coaxes Moonbyul to throw her head back and cackle. “You face-planted,” she says in between laughs, “I can’t believe you face-planted!”

“Shut up!” Seulgi groans as she buries her face on her hands, and she feels like her head’s going to explode with embarrassment and many other things. She starts to worry a little, dreading the day Sooyoung ever finds out. Moonbyul’s almost dying of laughter, what more if it’s Sooyoung?

“Ugh. Stop laughing!”

“But you face-planted! In front of everyone! And you thought she was waving at you!”

“Shut up!”

“I wish I was there to see you waving back.” Moonbyul breathes out before laughing again. “Hi, train girl,” she mimics, her voice a fair imitation of Seulgi’s. “I like you.”

Seulgi feels her face flush, more out of embarrassment than anything. But she manages to say, “If you don’t shut up, I swear I will delete every single saved data you have, on every single console you own,” in a threatening tone of voice that clearly tells her she means it.

Moonbyul’s laughter dies abruptly in , one hand instinctively reaching for her 3DS as she throws Seulgi a stern look. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

The three of them, they take these things seriously, because they’ve woken up to deleted saved data and hacked Fortnite accounts at least once after nasty fights. (Sooyoung had once overwritten Seulgi’s God of War saved game on purpose to get back at Seulgi, because Seulgi had deleted Sooyoung’s Bloodborne a couple of years back. Though, she will never admit it.)

She presses her lips together in fear; murmurs a few beats later, “I’m sorry.”

Seulgi heaves a deep, heavy sigh, letting her fingers run through her hair. She knows she can’t take it out on Moonbyul because she’s got absolutely nothing to do with all of this. It isn’t right to be mad at her because it’s not her fault that she feels startlingly upset—and frustrated—because she hasn’t managed to meet Joohyun yet.

But, it isn’t her fault either that she’s feeling too many things, or that she’s confused because this is only supposed to be just a crush. She shouldn’t be upset over the thought of seeing Joohyun be with another girl.

Yet, in the end, Moonbyul’s one of her best friends and Joohyun’s just some girl she’s crushing so hard on, so she apologizes too. “Sorry. I’m just—I don’t know either what’s going on. I’m probably just having a bad day I guess.”

“Starting from the subway…”

“Yes,” Seulgi snaps, feeling a certain flare ignite at the memory. Though, she quickly throws her an apologetic look when she sees her flinch. “Thanks for reminding me, you jerk,” she continues with a half-smile.

The smile that Moonbyul reciprocates is comforting and kind. “Let’s see if catseyes is still online?” She asks, though she’s already ing the controller back into Seulgi’s hands.

.

 

She pauses the game in the midst of Seulgi throwing a grenade at some random player named sakurachanchan (catseyes isn’t around anymore, too bad), and Seulgi almost kills her for that.

Seulgi turns on her seat to shout at her, but the look on Moonbyul’s face stops her from doing so, and she ends up confused—and probably a little scared.

Moonbyul looks like she’s having some sort of epiphany, and with the way she’s grinning and wiggling her eyebrows, Seulgi knows she’s right to feel scared.

“I have an idea,” Moonbyul says enthusiastically. “I have a brilliant idea. It’s going to be epic!”

Seulgi genuinely feels like asking if she should be scared about this, but Moonbyul has already resumed their game and the sound of the explosion that reaches her ears is like hearing her favorite song play. She returns her attention back to the screen, smirking at the sight of the player falling.

Maybe she just needs to trust Moonbyul. They’re friends after all.

…

 

They ride the train one weekend—all part of Moonbyul’s plan—though Seulgi says that the only reason she agrees to it is because Moonbyul has promised not to tell Sooyoung. Besides, she still could use her help with her groceries even if her idea doesn’t work. (She wasn’t entirely lying when she told Sooyoung she had grocery shopping to deal with on weekends.)

She has agreed to meet her at Mullae Station. She arrives about ten minutes early, and the first thing she notices is the hat she has donned on her head.

“Moonbyul,” Seulgi squeaks, eyes a little wide as she points to the yellow thing, as if it’s offensive. “What is that?”

“What is—“ Moonbyul doesn’t feign surprise upon hearing her words. Her jaw drops in complete shock. “I can’t believe you don’t know what this is. It’s a pikachu hat, Seulgi!”

“I know what it is,” she hisses. “I meant, why are you wearing that?”

“Oh,” comes her reply, “it’s my lucky hat remember?”

“Whatever.” Seulgi just rolls her eyes and grabs one of Moonbyul’s arms as she drags her towards her usual spot.

…

 

She starts to feel antsy one station before Joohyun’s, and by the time they roll in to Daerim, Moonbyul’s practically holding her knee to keep it from bouncing.

“Seulgi, you need to relax, seriously.”

She wants to say that she can’t relax, that she has never been able to whenever the train stops at this station, ever since that day she noticed Joohyun. She wants to shout at her and ask her how she could be calm when she doesn’t even know what’s running through her clearly disturbed pikachu-head.

(Moonbyul refuses to tell her about her plan, because she believes Seulgi will just turn it down even though it’s incredibly brilliant.)

Seulgi bites her lip when she hears the doors open, fingers wringing together so tightly it almost hurt. She disentangles them as soon as she spots her, and points subtly. “There she is.”

Moonbyul follows the direction of her finger, gives a little nod of approval when she sees Joohyun. “Wait here.”

The doubt is still there in her, but she doesn’t get the chance to voice it out in protest because she’s already on her way, and all Seulgi can do is watch with wide eyes.

…

 

Moonbyul rearranges her cap, fixes her glasses as she walks, runs one hand to smooth her shirt; and when she finally reaches Joohyun, she clears .

“Excuse me. Is this seat taken?”

Joohyun, though quite unsure, looks at her and answers no with a polite smile.

She returns it with a soft thank you as she sits, whipping out her huge phone into full view as soon as she gets settled comfortably. She flicks the screen awake, taps here and there and plays with the stylus, before she turns to Joohyun again, grinning.

“Do you play Pokemon Go?”

…

 

From her seat, Seulgi watches in bemusement as Moonbyul continues to get Joohyun’s attention, obviously using her console as the topic of conversation.

She pinches the bridge of her nose in embarrassment, trying to remember if she forgot to tell her that Joohyun’s passion is most likely music and theater, not video games or any other, well, nerdy stuff.

She almost falls off of her seat when she sees Moonbyul point towards her direction, and she has to pretend to look around and to not know they’re talking about her, that she completely misses the knowing smile Joohyun gives.

She returns her attention to them as soon as she feels Joohyun’s eyes leave. What gives her relief though—and probably the only thing stopping her from marching down and yanking Moonbyul out of her seat—is Joohyun’s polite smiles and the way she shows at least a little interest in whatever the hell Moonbyul is blabbering about.

…

 

Moonbyul is back at Seulgi’s side as soon as Joohyun bids her farewell to get off at her stop.

She’s still about a step away when Seulgi pulls her a little callously, causing her to almost trip on the seat, and she can hear Seulgi hissing, “What the hell was that?”

“I was working on my plan!” She hisses back.

“What was your plan exactly?”

“I was thinking that,” Moonbyul pauses on purpose, to place her phone back inside the pocket of her jeans.

But Seulgi doesn’t have the patience to wait for anything at this point. “Was thinking what?”

“You know, that I could chat her up. Find out if she likes Pokemon Go, and if she does, I can talk to her and eventually bring you into the conversation,” she answers. “Kind of like a bridge or something.”

Seulgi’s face softens at her words. Her intentions were pure, really, and she was just trying to help. She can’t be mad at her for trying. “Well, what did she say?”

A hesitant look crosses Moonbyul’s face, which quickly turns into a grimace. “Well,” she lifts a hand, scratching the back of her neck. “She said the only things she ever played were Candy Crush and Temple Run.”

For some reason, Seulgi can’t help but laugh at that.

“But I did bring you into conversation,” Moonbyul adds, this time with a proud grin. “She knows who you are now.”

At that, Seulgi is honestly torn between kissing Moonbyul or passing out.

“But, you may have to start playing Temple Run. I kind of told her that you’re an expert.”

Or, she might end up killing her instead.

…

 

The day she finally meets Joohyun, like, officially, is the day her alarm clock decides not to work.

It’s totally unexpected because she’s running late for class, fidgeting inside her mom’s car as she wills the damn thing to move; Joohyun’s actually the farthest thing on her mind.

Her mom drops her off at Gurogongdan, her Thanks mom! Have fun in the office! hardly heard since she’s closing the car door as she’s walking away.

Seulgi is panting when she reaches the train, barely squeezing through the doors as they close. It is half-past nine already when she checks the time, and she’s probably missed a few quizzes or so.

Why was it again that she refused Sooyoung’s offer of a ride to school?

“I suppose your wristwatch is working now?”

Seulgi whips around, and almost loses her footing when she sees Joohyun standing next to her, clad in a laced dress this time. She blinks twice, as if trying to see if this is real, that Joohyun is indeed there right in front of her.

(A part of her thinks she’s losing it, and that her mind is conjuring things because she’s that desperate.)

Joohyun’s smile wavers, until her lips press together when Seulgi still doesn’t answer.

Seulgi then figures out that she isn’t seeing things, and that Joohyun probably thinks she’s a freaking weirdo by now because she’s not saying anything, just, well, looking spaced out. “Yes,” she blurts and follows through with a laugh, though it sounds forced. “The battery died. I had it replaced.”

“That’s great!” Joohyun says with a slight nod. “I don’t think I would last a day without a working watch.”

“Same here,” rasps Seulgi.

Joohyun just smiles in response before training her eyes back to the window.

Seulgi, in turn, jogs her memory for anything worth talking about, yet her brain doesn’t seem to be capable of thinking about anything else other than Joohyun’s presence, and holy sweet Jesus, Joohyun’s standing right next to me is dangling on the tip of her tongue.

Thankfully, Joohyun saves her from the effort—and the possibility of blurting out something really mortifying—stating, “By the way, I met your friend a few days ago.”

She feigns surprise, masking the nervousness in her voice. “Oh, really?”

“Yes.” Joohyun gives a soft nod. “Moonbyul, right?”

“Oh yeah, that’s her alright.”

“And she likes this game called Pokemon Go?”

“Uh-huh.”

Joohyun smirks. “And you’re Seulgi.”

It isn’t a question, more like a statement of fact, and that coaxes a grin to break out of Seulgi’s lips as she nods.

This is why she turned down Sooyoung’s offer in the first place.

…

 

“I should probably introduce myself, too, huh? We’ve been coming across each other’s paths a dozen times already, anyway.” Joohyun extends a hand. “My name is Joohyun.”

Seulgi wants to say that she already knows, has known for quite a while now, but that’s just down right creepy so she settles for accepting Joohyun’s hand. “Seulgi,” she says. “Kang Seulgi.”

…

 

She steps off Seoul National University Station with a beaming smile, and has to fight the urge to break into a dance when Hall and Oates’ You Make My Dreams comes up on her playlist.

She does skip a few steps though.

…

 

“You missed a major pop quiz, Seulgi,” Sooyoung greets her as she meets them at the campus green on their free period.

She signals for Moonbyul to scoot over, squeezing herself in between the two. “Oh. Did I?”

Sooyoung’s a bit thrown off by her tone, since she doesn’t sound like she’s worried about it, at all, and not pissed either (which is sort of the base mood Seulgi comes with). The girl twists around to look at her quizzically, but the grin she’s been wearing is wide and pleased, and clearly something she’d be having for quite a while.

“Yes, you did,” Sooyoung reiterates. She studies Seulgi unblinkingly, and feels the compelling need to ask, since she’s the best friend after all. “Okay, what happened?”

Seulgi fakes a frown and shakes her head. “Nothing.”

Sooyoung’s eyes, in turn, narrow into thin slits. “Your smile is creeping me out. That doesn’t look like nothing.”

Beside her, Moonbyul laughs, which she quickly disguises into a cough when she feels a hard elbow against her side, coming from Seulgi.

“It’s nothing,” Seulgi assures. “Just the subway being less annoying today.”

Sooyoung only hums in answer, clearly not amused nor swayed by Seulgi’s reasoning. But the phone sitting on her lap buzzes, and as surprising as it is, she drops the supposed to be inquisition.

A fond smile shapes on Sooyoung’s lips and her whole demeanor sort of changes into something soft. And Seulgi hardly ever sees her look like that so she turns to Moonbyul to silently ask. But she only gives her a shrug. She honestly doesn’t have any idea either.

Though the look they share afterwards pretty much tells her that Moonbyul knows what really happened on the train.

…

 

She makes a point to thank Moonbyul properly; after all, she owes it to her.

Moonbyul doesn’t even wonder who the Triumphant Mew Ultra Rare Pokemon trading card is from when she finds it in her mail one day.

…

 

A tentative friendship forms between Joohyun and her.

They don’t hit it off at once like perhaps most people would, because Seulgi still has this huge crush on Joohyun, which roars inside her—she swears it does—whenever Joohyun stands too close, or just when Joohyun’s there, regardless. She’s finding it a little hard to control.

So they start off first with shy smiles—well Seulgi’s are—and small waves, little conversations about the most random things if they find themselves standing near each other, or if the space on the train permits it.

They don’t hit it off at once, and Seulgi’s a little surprised that she’s perfectly fine with it.

…

 

One Tuesday morning, Joohyun boards the train before Seulgi, and she’s already there inside when Seulgi squeezes her way in.

She spots Joohyun at once, since the girl is seated right across the door. She greets her with a smile, albeit being a little surprised, which Joohyun returns in kind, maybe even brighter.

Next to the girl is a vacant seat, which she pats twice in gesture for Seulgi to take, and Seulgi realizes that she’s wasting precious time by being all hesitant and timid about things. She’s already acquainted with Joohyun by now, so how hard could it be to initiate a proper conversation?

With a deep breath as a vote of confidence, she walks towards Joohyun and greets her with a soft hi.

“Hey Seulgi,” Joohyun replies.

“Nice day, isn’t it?” Seulgi says. She can’t help but laugh inwardly at that, because finally.

Joohyun wets her lips first before answering. “Yes, a very nice day indeed.”

“Yeah, really nice.” Seulgi starts restlessly tapping a finger on the book lying on her lap. Joohyun is looking at her expectantly, and the glitter in Joohyun’s eyes doesn’t help at all in clearing the suddenly formed cogs in her mind. “So, uhm…”

“Yes?”

“You like music, huh?” She says, her head gesturing towards the pile of music sheets Joohyun is cradling in between her hands.

“I do.” Joohyun nods. “So much that I’m studying it.”

Seulgi can’t help but laugh softly at that. The speakers come to life, announcing the train arriving to the next station, and she thinks, she’s still got enough time to find out something, well, useful. “Where do you go to? What university, I mean, if you don’t mind my asking.”

The grin that stretches along Joohyun’s face is unmistakably proud, though not in a bad way. “Soongsil.”

“Wow,” Seulgi breathes out. “That’s just…yeah, wow.”

The complete surprise on her face makes Joohyun giggle. “It’s really not as amazing as you think it is. But they have the best theater program there, and I just couldn’t pass up on that.”

It takes a couple of moments to get over her surprise, but Seulgi manages. “So I’m assuming you’re not a Justin Bieber fan?”

The horrified look quickly settling on Joohyun’s face is enough of an answer, and Seulgi finds herself wanting to snag and burn the magazine that has caught her eye.

…

 

“Do you like going to concerts?” Seulgi asks Joohyun on another day.

“No. I’m not really a fan of bands.”

She presses her lips together and gives a quick nod. “Got that.”

…

 

In a span of three weeks, Seulgi has managed to find out a couple of things:

That Joohyun is unmistakably not a Bieber fan.

That Joohyun is not a fan of concerts or bands either.

That Joohyun absolutely loves plays, and musicals and show tunes. Theater is her ultimate dream.

That Joohyun is afraid of animals, which she found out the hard way when she asked if she wanted to stop by the cat cafe with her that one time their trip was cut short due to engine troubles.

That Joohyun talks and rambles in long, intelligently constructed sentences over topics she’s most passionate about, and she uses big, uncommon words; things that normally would scare people away, though Seulgi finds it absolutely charming.

And lastly, that she really, really needs to ask her out, or that Sakura girl from Joohyun’s neighborhood will.

…

 

She takes out her laptop as soon as she gets to SNU, camping inside the silent comfort the library offers. A quick Google of famous Broadway shows brings her to a couple of top ten lists, with Hamilton, Wicked and Les Miserables as the common ones amongst each. She clicks on Hamilton, and momentarily gets lost in the world of witches, Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr and a revolution she admittedly has no idea about.

Then Sooyoung walks in, of freaking course. “What are you doing?”

Seulgi jumps in surprise, and she instinctively slams her laptop shut. “Nothing.”

Sooyoung, dubious, reaches for her laptop like it’s hers, and actually has the nerve to ask. “You were watching , weren’t you?”

“What?” Seulgi’s eyes go wide in surprise, blushing at the accusation. “No!”

Sooyoung arches one brow, then smirks at the way her face is reddened. “Really.”

Seulgi doesn’t even waste her breath in trying to convince her otherwise.

…

 

She waits until Sooyoung drops the relentless teasing and leaves—actually, she was thrown out by the librarian—before opening her laptop again to save the tickets page of the nearest theater on her bookmarks.

…

 

“What do you think of Hamilton?”

“Oh,” Joohyun breathes in, gushing already before she even begins. She puts a hand on her chest, then, “It’s my absolute favorite.”

“Really?” Seulgi smiles, more at the way Joohyun is almost beaming, and her eyes are sparkling with undeniable high praises. “Have you seen it? The play?”

Joohyun nods enthusiastically as she answers. “I have.” Though, her face falls the next second, her entire expression a mix of guilt and absolute in sadness. “But never in person.”

“What do you mean?” The taller girl asks.

“They’ve only shown it on Broadway. And their tickets were always sold out.”

“Oh,” Seulgi mumbes, letting out a strained smile. “Maybe one day, right?”

…

 

“Hey, your stop’s here,” Seulgi announces when the train rolls into Bongcheon and she notices the familiar Exit to Bongcheon sign.

They’ve been talking endlessly for the whole ride, and Joohyun’s genuinely surprised that she almost missed her stop. (She never misses, because well, she’s Joohyun.)

“Oh, yeah,” Joohyun mumbles under her breath as she looks around. Her eyes land on Seulgi, and there’s a fond smile on Seulgi’s lips which coaxes her to give one of her own.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Seulgi asks in a hushed tone, and Joohyun has to regard the butterflies—suddenly fluttering inside her stomach at the hopeful tone underlying Seulgi’s voice—as something else.

Joohyun chews her lower lip, stifling the smile that’s threatening to break out. “Of course.”

“Well, have a good day then.”

She wishes Seulgi the same, and tries not to jump when the back of her hand accidentally brushes against Seulgi’s as she moves. But she can’t simply ignore the jolt that shoots through her spine at the contact.

…

 

Something has changed.

Seulgi knows that something has, and it’s enough for her to bolt through the train’s closing doors and tread towards Joohyun’s direction.

“Joohyun!” She calls out as soon as she spots her among the crowd, raising her voice when she bellows again.

The girl whips around, completely caught off guard, and her eyes are wide with confusion when she sees Seulgi sprinting towards her. “Seulgi?”

“Hey,” Seulgi says as she finally catches up, in between short, ragged breaths. “I just—I wanted to—“

“Yes?”

“I was going to—“

Joohyun starts rocking on her heels, as she tries to get rid of the tugging feeling at the pit of her stomach that she can only associate with anticipation. For what exactly? She honestly doesn’t know.

Seulgi screws her eyes shut, taking a few deep breaths to slow down her racing heart. “I just wanted to, uhm, ask—tell you that—“

“Seulgi?”

“Yeah?”

“As much as I would love to stay here and chat with you,” Joohyun roams her eyes around, and she feels quite thankful that the lines are almost empty, so she doesn’t have to suffer from the long queues to get off the station. “I’m afraid I’m going to be late for my first class.”

“Yes,” Seulgi breathes out. “Yes, of course. I just wanted to say that, you know, it’s really nice commuting with you.”

Joohyun opens to speak, but it honestly felt like it came out of nowhere that she can’t find any words to form a coherent answer. “I…” Her lower lip trembles, but no words are coming out, and there’s this feeling of utter disappointment that she can’t seem to shake away.

In the end, she settles for, “The feeling is mutual, Seulgi.”

…

 

Somehow, Joohyun realizes before she gets to leave that this isn’t Seulgi’s stop—it’s far from here actually; therefore Seulgi absolutely doesn’t have any other business here. So, as the ever curious one, she asks. “Seulgi, you didn’t get off the train just to tell me that, did you?”

“Wha—no!” Seulgi shakes her head, almost too animatedly. “No. My mom’s workplace is near and I was planning to drop by her office anyway.”

Joohyun sighs, though it sounded more of defeat than relief. Or maybe, Seulgi thinks, she’s just hearing things and going crazy. Sometimes she can’t help but suspect that she really is.

“Oh, well, I have to get going,” says Joohyun, hands clutching her music sheets instinctively tighter. The tugging feeling that drops at the pit of her stomach is heavy with so many things. “Say hi to your mom for me. I mean, if you don’t mind.”

“No,” Seulgi rushes, “not at all.”

“I’ll see you around, Seulgi.”

…

 

As soon as Joohyun’s gone, Seulgi starts pounding her head with the heel of her palm, all the while wondering how the hell her can we go out and have coffee some time aspect of a thought turned into it’s really nice commuting with you in that short span of time.

The worst part? She’s late for class and the next train doesn’t come for another five minutes.

…

 

Seulgi is practically dragging herself towards the meeting place Sooyoung has texted her about. (From the sound of it, Sooyoung wants them to meet some girl she met.)

Moonbyul is already there when she arrives, and apparently, her demeanor’s too noticeable to ignore that she has to pause the game she’s playing to ask. “What happened? Are you alright?”

Seulgi drops herself on the bench. “I was so close,” she whines as she turns to her, “so freaking close. I was about to ask her out.”

It makes little sense to Moonbyul, yet she decides to go with the flow. “But?”

“I panicked,” she groans. “And then I started spewing out random things.”

Half of her snort comes out before she manages to cover with her hand, trying desperately to hold back her laughter. However, Seulgi is too dejected to even glare at her for it.

“I wanted to ask her to have coffee with me some time,” She mutters in frustration, dropping her head in between her hands propped against the table. “I tanked, as usual.”

Moonbyul’s quiet for a long second, seemingly weighing the words she’s about to say. But then she knows that there’s only one thing left to do—since apparently Seulgi can’t do this alone—whether she likes it or not.

“Seulgi,” She calls out, pushing her glasses back in place, and sighs. “I think it’s time to tell Sooyoung.”

She swears the sound of Seulgi’s groan could be heard around the whole vicinity.

…

 

Sooyoung finally arrives after half an hour, fashionably late as she would so like to put it, with a smaller girl in tow.

She pulls the girl by the elbow, guiding her at the same time to sit beside her on the park bench. “Seul, Moonbyul,” she starts, then, “this is Seungwan.”

Seulgi just throws her a blank, confused look in response. “We already know Seungwan?”

She feels Moonbyul elbow her side, and when she turns to her, she’s arching both her eyebrows as if trying to convey some message, that does nothing but fly above Seulgi’s head.

In the end, Moonbyul just sighs before cocking her head. Seulgi, in turn, trails the movement, eyes widening in understanding when she reaches the end of it. “Oh.”

Maybe, Seulgi can’t help but think as she stares at Sooyoung and Seungwan’s joined hands, telling Sooyoung is for the best.

.

 

As expected, Sooyoung cackles like there’s no tomorrow when Seulgi lays out everything.

“Seriously?” The girl says in between boisterous laughs. “Do I need to enroll you to Dating 101 or something?”

Seulgi lifts her head from the table and shoots Moonbyul a pointed look. “What is the good thing about this again?”

“I need to meet this Joohyun,” Sooyoung wheezes. “If you’re losing all your tricks then she must be something.”

“Why should I let you?”

“Come on Seulgi,” Moonbyul jumps in. “Sooyoung can help you with asking her out.”

At that, Sooyoung almost stumbles backwards from the bench in laughter, if not for Seungwan’s legs resting on her lap.

Seulgi, in turn, presses her face against her hands even harder. “Why, why, why?”

“Did you even remember to get her number?”

The way Seulgi’s face twist into a grimace is enough of an answer, and Sooyoung’s laughter grows impossibly louder, while Moonbyul tries to hide hers behind the screen of her phone in sympathy.

.

 

It takes them another hour of arguing whether or not Seulgi should let Sooyoung intervene, but Sooyoung wins, eventually.

Although, how she convinced Seulgi involved more threats than promises to help her in asking out the girl of her dreams.

…

 

The weekend after, Seulgi drags Sooyoung to her station, though it’s actually more the other way around since Seulgi still has her reservations regarding all of this.

But then, they are already there, waiting for the train, and she knows that Sooyoung will relentlessly badger her about it, which kind of leaves her with no other choice.

She introduces Sooyoung to Joohyun as soon as the girl boards the train, and Sooyoung has to raise a curious eyebrow at the way Joohyun practically bounces towards Seulgi. (Yep, she’s totally signing her best friend up on that Dating 101 class she once saw.)

Joohyun’s come with two of her theater clubmates, which she introduces to them in return as Dahyun and Rose respectively.

Thankfully, Sooyoung keeps the snide comments to herself, and Seulgi is genuinely relieved at that. (Although the uncharacteristic courtesy may have something to do with how Seungwan has told her to play nice, as Seulgi had overheard earlier.)

Still, it’s a good start.

.

 

Joohyun’s stop comes, and she waves them good bye to get off, with Dahyun and Rose following behind. Seulgi gives her one last smile, which drops as soon as Joohyun’s out of sight. She feels a little upset about not being able to talk to her during the whole ride, but then, like, she can blame Sooyoung for it. She’d just get her head chewed off.

Sooyoung, for her part, would’ve smacked Seulgi right on the head if not for Seungwan’s arm looped around hers, to somehow knock some sense to her, because she’s sure Seulgi has totally gone blind if she doesn’t see the way Joohyun acts around her.

But then, she’s a , and one of her favorite things to do is messing with Seulgi’s head.

“I should have known,” says Sooyoung, with a smirk that Seulgi doesn’t particularly like. “After all, you liked Jisoo back in high school. If only she wasn’t mooning over your Science teacher, you would’ve jumped on her.”

Or maybe, Seulgi spoke too soon about it being a good start.

“I didn’t like Jisoo.”

Sooyoung snorts and makes a disapproving noise. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”

“I didn’t,” Seulgi growls dismissively. She hears Seungwan hiss something in Sooyoung’s ear which eventually gets the latter to stop, unsurprisingly.

“Look,” Sooyoung says, a little later. “Just pull your head out of your and ask her out already.”

Seulgi snaps her head and glowers at Sooyoung in response. “That’s the problem. I freak out whenever I try.”

“God, you are such a wuss.”

“Are you going to help me or not?”

Sooyoung can only roll her eyes. “Call Moonbyul and tell her to meet us during our free period. We need her.”

…

 

Moonbyul comes up with an idea five minutes after meeting her, but Sooyoung’s fighting to claim it as hers, though she and Seulgi both know it’s just an act to make Seungwan swoon.

(Like Sooyoung even needs to.)

(Or that Seungwan’s even paying any attention to them at all.)

…

 

Seulgi has never been to Dajaeon Hall, where SNU’s Computer Science Department is, but then architecture students like the three of them don’t get lost in there that often either, so the looks the rest of the students are giving them makes her feel kind of, well, badass.

(The thought alone adds a little more to her swag, though it’s almost nothing compared to Sooyoung’s.)

Moonbyul leads them to a computer laboratory on the first floor, with a small girl sporting a short fringe greeting them when Moonbyul knocks on the door.

“Hey Lisa,” Moonbyul says. “Is Yeri here?”

The girl—Lisa as Moonbyul has called her—looks over her shoulder and beckons to someone from inside the room, probably this Yeri person.

Another girl, but with a wicked smirk, jogs down to them, pulling the slightly ajar door wide open. “Hey, Moonbyul,” she greets with a wide grin, which makes Sooyoung turn to Seulgi at once and hiss something about we’re selling our souls, aren’t we.

Seulgi only catches two words, that being selling souls, but she nudges Sooyoung’s side with her elbow, and hisses, “Shut up.”

“What’s up?” Yeri asks, seemingly not aware of the quick exchange between Sooyoung and Seulgi, much to the latter’s relief.

Moonbyul lets her gaze fall to Seulgi first, as if asking for permission, and she proceeds when the girl nods at her in response. “We need your help.”

…

 

As it turns out, Moonbyul met Yeri at one of those video game conventions she went to last summer.

“Okay.” Yeri rubs her hands together as she flops down on the bench. They’ve decided to take the conversation to a quieter and less crowded place. “What do you guys need?”

“You’re into mobile games, right?” Moonbyul asks, going straight to business. “I mean, you can change certain levels or something like that? Put glitches here and there?”

A shrug rolls off Yeri’s shoulders. “Maybe.”

“I sense a but coming,” Seulgi jumps in, eyes narrowed skeptically.

“It comes with a price,” answers Yeri, her stare lingering longer at Seulgi. “And it isn’t money.”

Seulgi winces at that, and she can only hope that it isn’t a date either.

…

 

“No, no no, no no. I am not doing it!” Seulgi shrieks. She throws her hands up in frustration and starts pacing around Sooyoung’s room. “No! I refuse.”

Sooyoung swings her legs off the bed to let Seungwan lay her head on her lap. “Calm down, Kang,” she gripes, and then focuses on guiding Seungwan’s hand to help her choose the right pocket monster to beat the opposing trainer.

“Hey!” Moonbyul shouts from across them. “That’s cheating.”

“Bite me.”

The small squeal Seungwan makes when Moonbyul’s Pokemon faints coaxes Sooyoung to smile fondly at her.

Seulgi stops pacing; she props one hand on her hip and makes some sort of noise to remind them that she’s still there and that they are currently discussing important things. “How am I supposed to calm down? She wants me to promote her gamer club!”

“It’s not as hard as you think it is.” Moonbyul hits the pause button and lowers her phone.

“But she wants me to wear a Junkrat costume!” She snaps. “Junkrat, Moonbyul. I can’t do that!”

“It’s just a costume. Besides, no one will recognize you.”

“No Moonbyul. It’s not just a costume—“

“Look,” Sooyoung cuts them off, obviously annoyed already with all of these shenanigans. “Satan isn’t going to do it if you don’t help her; which means, you don’t get to ask Joohyun out. And it’s pretty obvious that you can’t ask her out yourself either because you lose your every time.”

“But it’s Junkrat!” Seulgi yells again, “I can’t do that!”

“I can ask her out for you, but that’s not gonna happen. You have no other choice.”

Moonbyul nods her head in agreement. “You can do this Seulgi.”

Seulgi’s pretty adamant at first, because well, it’s her reputation that’s at stake here. But Sooyoung’s got a huge point, as much as she hates to admit it, and she remembers Joohyun mentioning that Sakura has already called her again two nights ago.

(It seems to do the trick.)

She sinks onto the nearest empty seat, huffing gruffly. “Alright, fine.”

“Knew you’d see it my way.”

“But I’m not going to wear a Junkrat costume. Anything but that.”

“Yeah, yeah. Tell her that.” Sooyoung waves dismissively. “Now get out of my room.”

…

 

She tells Yeri the next time they meet, and she’s clearly not pleased about it. (Seulgi honestly doesn’t know if it’s one of her fantasies, but, whatever.)

Eventually, they come to a compromise—after hours of bickering—and settle for Mercy, because Seulgi refuses to wear Reaper’s black suit in the middle of a hot, sweltering day in July.

Moonbyul offers her help too, which Yeri gladly accepts, although Sooyoung says she’d rather be caught dead before she even thinks about doing it.

…

 

Yeri sends Lisa to fix their booth while she leads Moonbyul and Seulgi up to her room to help them get ready for the day.

Seulgi’s already not looking forward to it, sulking and groaning at the sight of their supposed costumes. (Yeri has to show her a part of the game she has already worked on just to lighten her mood, or make her look not murderous at the very least.)

“Why am I Genji?” Moonbyul muses when she skims through her costume hanging by the window. “I play McCree! I should be him.”

“You said you wanted to be the ninja,” Yeri frowns, dubious. “I thought you meant him.”

Seulgi turns away from the queue of monitors lined on top of Yeri’s study desk and walks over to the two. “No,” she says. “She actually has no idea about the game. She just likes telling people she plays.”

Moonbyul gasps in surprise, her eyes narrowing towards her. “You just broke our code.”

“I didn’t.” Seulgi rolls her eyes. “Yeri’s your friend. She’s not an outsider. And I never told you to stop telling people that Overwatch is your favorite.”

“But it is!”

Seulgi opens to answer, but Yeri is abrupt on breaking her off. “Look, I don’t really care about this. It’s none of my business. But it's settled Moonbyul. You're Genji.” She turns to Seulgi, giving her a quick nod. “Now Seulgi, get Mercy’d up.”

“Just so we’re clear,” Seulgi replies as she grabs her costume from the stand. “I won’t be flirting with Moonbyul.”

…

 

Sooyoung’s having a field day when she visits.

Her cell phone gets full of photos, mostly of a glaring Seulgi clad in orange and white, with Mercy’s wings hanging loosely on her back. (Seulgi wishes she could throw it like a boomerang, but the damage it could cost probably wouldn’t even be worth it, so she settles on scowling.)

Lisa and Yeri are obviously happy with the amount of good reception they are receiving, and there’s already one whole page of sign-up sheet filled; though they both know it’s mostly because of Seulgi’s presence, and the fact that if some big shot sees her in this costume, she’d star in a new franchise in no time.

That Joohyun girl sure is lucky.

…

 

Yeri tells Seulgi this when she sends her the game app, once the day is over.

Seulgi blushes in turn, and although she may have lost some of her reputation by dressing up and promoting her nerdy club, she figures she’s still one of the good ones. (And clearly someone she might like if only she’s not head over heels with Joohyun.) “Thanks Yeri. It was really nice of you to help.”

“You helped me too, so we’re kind of even,” Yeri says, giving her one of her cute, dorky smiles. “Good luck.”

She nods and bids her goodbye. The jittery feeling in her nerves only goes stronger as she walks.

…

 

The day finally comes and she’s almost a wreck.

Moonbyul gives her the best pep talk she can offer when she stops by her place for some much needed support; Sooyoung just simply yells at her ‘to stop freaking out’ when she calls, because she feels like jumping right out of the train window, so yeah, that doesn’t really help much.

The mobile phone is shaking violently in her hands, and she has to fight to keep breathing. There’s a mantra going on inside her head to somehow keep her calm, and really, she’s barely going to say anything, so the chances of her messing the whole thing up is slim.

It’s nice, it’s thoughtful and Joohyun would like it. She’d say yes, she remembers Moonbyul telling her, and both she and Sooyoung have reassured her that this is going to work, no matter what. Moonbyul with her optimistic view in life, and Sooyoung with her this is my idea, of course it’s gonna work attitude.

But that doesn’t bring her enough comfort, and the thought that she’s going to ask Joohyun out through a mobile game is sounding ridiculous to her right now. She doesn’t know what brought it on, but she’s suddenly finding it foolish.

Joohyun barely plays games, she thinks, so the chances of her appreciating this are almost close to none. Why didn’t she go the traditional way again? With flowers and chocolates and other traditional things?

Despite Seulgi telling herself to not play the what if game in this crucial moment, she can’t really help it. Perhaps, it’s the nerves, or maybe just the general fear of being turned down and the possibility of her losing whatever kind of relationship she already has and could have with Joohyun.

The train operator’s voice blares through the speakers, breaking her thoughts; Seulgi swears it’s louder than ever. She hears the muffled final chug from outside, followed by the familiar ding. The doors slide open, and Seulgi’s grip tightens further, so tight it can honestly break the screen into pieces.

“Good morning, Seulgi.”

Seulgi snaps her head up at the sound of her name, and is greeted by Joohyun’s ever bright smile. And somehow, it reminds her of why she’s doing this in the first place; why she’s sitting there with beads of sweat forming on her forehead, looking like she’s going to throw up and be sick. (Except, she really does feel like throwing up with anxiety.)

It reminds her of why she didn’t choose to go the traditional way, because Joohyun deserves more than that.

Joohyun takes in her appearance, and is by her side at once. “Seulgi? Are you not feeling well?”

Seulgi swallows thickly, wincing at the taste of acid at the back of . Joohyun mistakes it for something else, and she quickly pulls a handkerchief from the pocket of her dress. Seulgi’s hands are full with her things, so she takes responsibility and dabs the piece of cloth on Seulgi’s forehead.

“I’m fine.”

“You honestly don’t look like it,” she whispers. There’s a blush that quickly taints Seulgi’s cheeks, which ensues a blush of her own.

“But I am,” rasps Seulgi. The corner of is tugging into a shy smile. “Thanks though.”

“Are you sure?”

Seulgi just continues to smile at her. Joohyun responds with one in kind, and she settles comfortably in her seat when the train moves.

…

 

Halfway through the next station, Seulgi realizes, she needs to make a move or she’ll run out of time, which means, the plan would not be complete. Which also means that she’d have to do this again, and she really thinks she can’t go through this a second time.

So with one last, deep breath, she puts her things down on her lap and taps the screen on.

“So, uhm, you once asked me how Pokemon Go worked, right?” She says, eyes darting nervously between the other girl and the lit screen.

“Yeah,” Joohyun replies with a soft nod. “I did. Why?”

“Well,” Seulgi pauses, swallowing visibly. “I brought my old phone and downloaded the game. I thought you, uhm… you’d understand better if you play it.”

“Okay...”

“Better than me trying to explain, right?” She exhales an anxious laugh.

“Good point.” Joohyun concurs, and accepts the console with a strained smile, but it’s more to disguise the sharp gasp that escapes when her fingers accidentally brush against Seulgi’s.

The opening credits come on, and Seulgi feels her heartbeat start to race. But she fixes her eyes on Joohyun’s thumb hovering above one button, as a form of distraction, or else she’d start to hyperventilate, worse, pass out and mess up the plan entirely.

“Should I choose new game?” Joohyun’s voice breaks her thoughts. “Seulgi?”

“Y-yeah,” she stutters. “New game.”

Joohyun does what she’s told and taps the button. She reads through the introductory part, partly understanding what Pokemon is about—and she’s quite amused that it’s actually a coined term for pocket monsters—although she’s still confused for the most of it. But, she gives herself enough credit since this is her first time to play.

She punches her name in when the game asks her for it. There’s a welcome message from the supposed Professor, introducing more characters named Moonbyul and Sooyoung, which Joohyun is fairly sure are also the same names of Seulgi’s friends.

She shoots Seulgi a quick look, but the girl seems to be busy fiddling with her own phone, so she decides to continue; she’ll ask Seulgi about it later.

From the corner of her eye, Seulgi can see the game progressing, and her hands are so clammy that she has to hold her phone tight just so it wouldn’t slip out of her grasp.

(It almost did when she received a pull your together text from Sooyoung, and the gadget vibrated in her hand.)

is dry, and drinking something would really be a good idea right now, if not for her inability to move a single muscle. So she settles for swallowing, just to alleviate the hoarseness.

The game heads on to what seems like the main character’s house—well, technically, Joohyun’s, since Joohyun named her character that—and Moonbyul is with her upstairs, waiting for Sooyoung.

The Sooyoung character comes up, and Joohyun reads through the bubble: Am I a little late again? Sorry! (Seulgi snorts at that, already laughing inwardly at the supposed next bit despite the nervousness.)

Joohyun taps next, which leads to Moonbyul berating Sooyoung. Sooyoung… I’ve known for ten years that you have no sense of time, but… seriously…

Beside her, Seulgi is snickering quietly. It may totally be a coincidence since Yeri doesn’t know a single thing about their friendship, but it surely is a hilarious one.

But she quickly stiffens when she sees Joohyun get to that part, and her heart is pounding wildly beneath her chest, because she knows what’s about to come up. (She may or may not have played the game several times before boarding the train.)

She can almost taste the acid of anxiety building up at the back of .

…

 

Joohyun arches one brow when she reads the text.

Choose your date:

Which only rises higher when the box opens, revealing three half-red, half-white balls inside. She swears her eyebrow reached the top of her forehead when she goes through each ball and three adorable-looking yet distinct monsters appear respectively.

The first one’s a turtle. Joohyun’s quite sure of that, despite the misleading tail and, well, color. But it’s a game, she supposes, so a lot of things would be misleading. Though, its name, Kang Seulgi, doesn’t seem to sit well with its appearance.

The second one, Joohyun can’t quite decide if it’s a toad or a young dinosaur with randomly shaped spots and a huge green bud—is that a flower?—on its back. It’s standing on all fours, with red eyes and what seems like a smile, if possible. Still, it being Kang Seulgi—there’s two Seulgi monsters now, she notes—something’s missing.

She’s absolutely certain that the third one is also named Kang Seulgi even without looking, and she has to turn to look at Seulgi—the real one—to about it. But Seulgi honestly looks like she’s about to heave right on the floor, and she’s looking everywhere except at her while she fidgets in her seat with her obviously trembling hands, so teasing Seulgi about it would actually be a little mean.

Joohyun then decides to drop the idea and returns her attention back to the game. The third monster—yes, still named Kang Seulgi just as she has expected—looks like a small mouse with long and pointy bunny-like ears, each of its tip colored black. It has yellow fur with a thunder-shaped tail, and its red cheeks kind of remind her of Seulgi’s for some reason, whenever she catches Seulgi blushing furiously.

Just like now.

She shoots Seulgi one last amused look, and catches the girl staring at her, and her amused smile only grows wider when Seulgi fumbles and fixes her eyes elsewhere in a flash.

…

 

Joohyun chooses the third option, though whatever her option is, it’s quite irrelevant since they’re all Seulgi anyways.

Do you want to give a nickname to Seulgi? The game says next. She ponders over yes for a few beats, but then she’s quite fond of Seulgi’s name—actually thinks it’s uniquely beautiful, so she chooses no.

The screen goes black after she presses the button, and for a moment she panics, thinking that she’s broken it or something. But it flashes white and there in the center is a block of text that Joohyun has never expected to read, even in her dreams.

Congratulations! You have chosen your first Pokemon. Now, would you like to go on a date with Seulgi?

Surprised, she shuffles on her seat, facing Seulgi, and she feels the strong urge to shake the girl upon seeing her eyes screwed shut. Joohyun’s honestly torn between laughing and swooning, and just—she may not be an expert on video games, but she’s not completely clueless about these things, and technology either, so she knows the extent it takes to make something like this.

She ends up wanting to kiss Seulgi instead.

…

 

They’re almost at Joohyun’s stop, and Joohyun hasn’t said anything yet, so Seulgi figures that she probably has failed.

Really though, she thinks, when did being involved in theater get to be an indication of one’s uality?

She berates herself for jumping to conclusions. Clearly, that wasn’t the best move, but then, like she could ask it straight either or drop it casually in one of their conversations.

Still, the bottom line is she has failed and she probably has ruined any chances of a deeper friendship.

Seulgi is quite certain that the disheartened feeling she feels settling at the pit of her stomach is something she’ll be feeling for weeks.

…

 

When the operator announces their arrival at Boncheong, Seulgi starts typing a text to Moonbyul about the result.

She stares blankly at the ‘I ed up’ written on her screen, but she quickly erases it just because it sounded well, too negative, even to her. (It’s Moonbyul’s idea after all.)

In the middle of debating how she’d reword her apparent rejection, she gets distracted by Joohyun calling out her name.

“I’m sorry,” Seulgi blurts out, even before Joohyun can utter another word. “I’m sorry for assuming things, and, and, doing this, and ruining our friendship—“

“Seulgi…” Joohyun is struggling to keep a straight face, and no matter how good of an actress she is, she can’t help but be swayed—and touched, definitely—with Seulgi’s genuine remorse about the whole thing. Not to mention the effort it took.

She hands the phone back just before the last batch of passengers exit the train, and gathers her things into her hands.

Seulgi’s entirely sure she’s going to be shot down, and though she knows she’d get over the rejection in a few months, she’s not quite certain she can handle it at this point. But, it’s not like she has a choice.

But then, Joohyun’s lips shape into a grin, and Joohyun’s stooping down to look her in the eyes, and to press a quick kiss to her cheek; she almost fails to catch Joohyun’s words, because her brain seems to have stopped functioning at that point and it’s the only thing she can think of.

“Pick me up on Saturday. Eight o’clock sharp.”

Seulgi watches Joohyun go in a daze, one hand clutching the cheek where Joohyun’s lips had just been.

…

 

It’s only until the train jerks to move that she snaps out of this particular stupor, that she remembers she doesn’t even know where Joohyun lives, nor had she asked for her number.

She’s about to stash the phone back inside her back, when she notices the Messages app and an unsent conversation thread pulled up.

On the thread is Joohyun’s complete address, her number below, and Seulgi has to clutch onto the phone like her life depended on it.

…

 

This time, when she sets foot on Seoul National University Station, she plays You Make My Dreams on her phone and doesn’t hesitate to break into Tom Hansen’s dance routine.

Only, she does it way better than Tom ever did.

…

 

Four dates later, one of Joohyun’s friends that they bumped into on the train—cat’s eyes as she remembers from that one time on the train—tags her as the girl who has managed to steal the heart of the ever elusive Bae Joohyun.

It’s a title she will gladly live up to, she tells Joohyun this, mostly because she feels like ever elusive is clearly something of prestige. (Plus, it’s Joohyun, so, yeah…)

“Don’t be so full of yourself,” Joohyun says, giggling. “You managed to ask me out months after we first met.”

“I wanted us to be friends first,” Seulgi reasons, though they both know it’s just a playful excuse.

“I know you have been dying to ask me out since day one, Seulgi.”

Seulgi arches one brow, but the smile tugging at the corner of gives her away. “Now who’s being full of herself?”

They reach Joohyun’s front door, and Joohyun slows down up to their cobbled top step while Seulgi settles for the second so that they’re of the same height.

“Besides, you like how I asked you out.”

Joohyun rolls her eyes, but it’s just so she wouldn’t come out as completely charmed. “You are such a dork.”

“Dorks are hot though.” Seulgi laughs. “I’m a dork. Do the math.”

Joohyun sighs dramatically for effect, and pulls Seulgi by the hem of her jacket, swallowing the rest of Seulgi’s resounding laughter in a kiss.

(Joohyun likes dorks anyways.)

(But Seulgi still hates the subway.)