SECRETS

[Day 62,12:00AM]

Haechan knows Jaehyun’s secret and although it’s quite a juicy one, he thinks— he has absolutely no intention of telling anyone. 

All of the members are sure Jaehyun is still in love with Lisa. They’re not strange or stupid for thinking this because at first Jaehyun couldn’t shut up about her and anyone can tell he’s a different person since starting that relationship. Which is why almost all the members pester Jaehyun when he reveals he’s broken up with Lisa.

Worried he might go back to skipping his meals, or overexercising himself like he used to just to maintain the figure of an idol, they question him persistently and inspect him for signs he might revert back to his brooding self. They expect him to be down, sad, angry even, but not fine. 

“Don’t you miss Lisa?” Taeil asks about it first, voicing the question everyone has on their mind. “How are you feeling about all this?”

“Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders,” Jaehyun says simply, leaving everyone perplexed and unsettled. Haechan is not one of those members. 

He’s just happy that the days are gone when Jaehyun used to “joke” about one day leaving the group if he didn’t get any more lines(not caring about other’s getting even less lines than him, only worried about being in par with Taeyong and Mark), gone are the days when Jaehyun would starve to maintain his figure, gone are the days Jaehyun would skip dance practice and shut himself up in his room, silenced for hours. 

Haechan is really glad they broke up. Lisa was very nice and extremely beautiful, but there really was no future to that relationship. The spark just wasn’t there.

The other band members fail to realize that something else was happening around that time when Jaehyun asked Lisa to be his girlfriend. It’s been weeks since the break up happened, and when Jaehyun smiles, he still means it. He’s really a better, happier person now. 

But, the other members still ask him if he’s fine and wonder why he isn’t going through the motions of a break up.

Haechan wonders why the other members don’t see that Jaehyun isn’t going to be broken hearted because he’s already been mended, and has been for a while now. Maybe they can't see because the others don’t share a room with Jaehyun and well Jaehyun has this habit of talking in his sleep—it betrays him.

Haechan thinks this all started when a certain idol became a permanent guest on Tuesday nights for their group’s daily radio show. And almost every night, like clockwork, when his phone strikes midnight, Jaehyun longingly whispers her name—Hyoyeon’s name.” 

[Day 64, 7:00 PM]

Haechan enters the room sweaty and tired from dance practice with his Dreamy band mates. He throws his duffle bag on his bed and gets a brief look at Jaehyun before he runs off to the bathroom. Jaehyun is laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling with his arms crossed behind his head, like he’s lost in a cloud. 

When Haechan comes back to the room after his shower, Jaehyun is still in the same position, unaware of anything or anyone surrounding him. He hasn’t moved and he is still staring at the ceiling. Haechan bites into an apple and the crunch brings Jaehyun down from his cloud. 

Haechan crawls into his own bed and stares at his roommate warily. For a while, they stare-off in silence. 

“I’m fine.” Jaehyun finally gives in, his voice a little raised. “And if any one else asks me if I’m fine, I’m buying myself a first class ticket back to Connecticut. And I’m using your money.”

Haechan’s eyebrows furrow at the remark. 

“Why doesn’t anyone believe me when I say that I’m fine?” Jaehyun says exhaustedly and a little saddened. 

Haechan takes another bite of his apple, not particularly fond of the other’s theatrics and very snobbishly says, “I know you’re fine.”

The way in which Haechan says he ‘knows’ makes Jaehyun suspect and quite honestly makes him feel a little relieved that someone knows. 

Jaehyun walks over to his study area and takes a seat, fixing his gaze out the window. He places his elbow on the surface of his desk, chin in palm, pensive. “I think I’m going to ask her out.”