Tick, tick, tick, tick.

“Your clock is ticking” is what they said, or what they wanted to say whenever Hyojin stopped by her parents place. It irked her, naturally, but she understood her parent's worry. She wasn’t young, but she wasn’t old either. She was in an awkward part of adulthood that made her feel suffocated and anxious for the future.

There was time to get married, but there was also time to further her career. She was probably one of the few people she knew at her age who hadn't checked their timer in years. The device, despite its small composition, felt like a giant weight tied around her. A dreadful reminder that her fate was inevitable.

Just the thought of it made her stomach twist into a knot and her nose wrinkle. Some things are just never in your control but this , the person she was destined to be with for the rest of her life, she’d try her hardest to avoid. Soulmates meant love, love meant marriage, and marriage meant a whole lot of other things she didn’t want to dive into.

Hyojin was independent and liked control. She definitely wasn't going to let the clock dictate her love life.

She learned that the hard way when she was younger.

I wonder how she’s doing nowadays. I wonder if she found her soulmate... 

She quickly shakes her head at the thought with a grimace.

She reminds her parents she’s content with her life and they drop the subject for a while. She’s relieved when they do and enjoys the dinner they have later that night before saying goodbye and heading home.

Hyojin gripped the steering wheel of the car and drove down the street. Despite the liveliness of the city, it felt strangely solemn. Countless lights flickered by in a blur while Hyojin moved past them, reds, greens and yellows all melting together.

She spared a glance at the people on the sidewalk as she slowly came to a red light. Her eyes landed on a couple holding hands and laughing, affectionately leaning into each others side and smiling widely. Regret settled over her and she quickly looked away.

The memory of a bright smile, crinkled eyes and flowing red hair crossed her mind. Her gaze flitted to the clock on her wrist and her grip on the wheel tightened.

Forget about it already, Hyojin, she sighed to herself as the light turned green.

Contrary to popular belief, Hyojin wasn’t much of a clubber. She preferred drinking in the comfortable, familiar solitude of either her home or studio which her friends always scolded her for. “Drinking alone is how you become an alcoholic,” Heeyeon once said, earning a snort from Hyelin and a beating from Hyojin. Tonight though, Hyelin managed to convince (threaten) her to come out to a new club where their high school reunion was being held.

As much as Hyojin didn't want to spend the night dodging questions from nosy old high school classmates, she owed it to Hyelin who had been there for her more times than she could count. She could survive tonight. She hoped she could at least.

“What kind of name is ‘Hippity Hop’?” Hyojin groaned as Hyelin dragged her out the car. Her brows furrowed further together as her gaze rested on the large neon pink bunny hovering above the entrance. She shot Hyelin a dubious look which seemingly made her even more eager to enter.

“It’ll be fun!” she grinned as she threw her arm around Hyojin. Grudgingly, she walked in with her and ignored the sense of dread in the pit of her stomach.

fell open slightly when she scanned the inside. Everything was vibrant, very vibrant. Hot pink strobe lights and neon signs filled her sight as she tried not to lose Hyelin in the sea of people on the dance floor. Obnoxious pop music pulsed from speakers set up along the brick walls, bass boosted enough for Hyojin to feel the vibrations in her bones.

“You are here,” Hyojin muttered to herself as she read one of the signs. She felt Hyelin tug forcefully on her sleeve and tore her gaze away from the decorations. She followed after her as she led them past people and towards a space off in the corner.

She furrowed her brows when Hyelin gestured towards a booth in the corner, surprisingly vacant among the full tables near them.

"I pulled some strings for a good booth," Hyelin winked mischievously.

Hyojin scoffed as she sat down. "I don’t like how ominous that sounds.”

"Oh, shut up. Apparently Heeyeon is friends with the club owner."

"What?" Hyojin laughed. "Don’t tell me she’s the one who suggested to have the reunion here."

Hyelin shrugged lamely and pulled out her phone, quickly texting their old friend Heeyeon on her whereabouts. A second after pressing send, a familiar, and grating voice, drew their attention.

"Elly baby the crazy!" Heeyeon shouted as she parted the crowd of people, drinks spilling over her hands.

"Oh, my god," Hyojin groaned into her hand. Hyelin laughed loudly and tackled Heeyeon into a hug, taking a drink from her and immediately downing it. Hyojin took the other one from her before she spilled it all over herself.

"I missed you two!" Heeyeon squeezed Hyelin and tried reaching for Hyojin, only to have her hand smacked away. Hyelin finally squirmed out of her her grip and sat back down, drink still in hand.

"I see you haven't changed," Hyojin gave a small smile as Heeyeon joined them.

"Why change perfection?" she winked. Hyelin made a gagging motion and Hyojin laughed into her drink, already feeling strangely lighthearted. It had been a while since they had all talked, even longer since they last hung out. Last she had heard from Heeyeon, she had been dying in college, swarmed by exams and drowning in homework. Hyojin definitely didn't miss those days.

Now, here she was, as lively as the day she met her. Hyojin felt her lips tug into a fond smile and punched her shoulder lightly. "What's been up with you?" she asked, "It's been a while since we caught up."

"Ah," Heeyeon smiled widely, before dramatically bringing her drink to her lips and taking a long sip. Hyojin and Hyelin both exchanged confused  glances, until Hyelin's eyes widened and a gasp left her lips.

Hyojin's brows furrowed further in confusion before Hyelin finally pointed at Heeyeon's hand.

And that's when she finally noticed the ring.

"What the hell?" Hyojin blurted, staring at it in disbelief.

Heeyeon shot her a wink and ran her hand through her hair, making sure the ring was fully visible. "Ahn Heeyeon is an engaged woman now," she smiled.

"Well, ," Hyelin laughed and raised her drink at her. Hyojin was still reeling from the news and tried to think of something to say.

"Your timer?" was all she could manage.

Heeyeon blinked and revealed her wrists. Her bare wrists. Hyojin felt her jaw tense. “It was crazy, the way it fell off so quickly,” Heeyeon recalled, “The minute our eyes met, bam! Guess it was love at first sight, huh?” she grinned. It gradually fell when she noticed Hyojin’s pensive expression. “Hyojin?”

Reality settled back in quickly. Hyojin patted her on the back and flashed a smile. "Must have been. I just pray for whoever has to eat your cooking," she laughed airily. Hyelin snickered into her hand and Heeyeon shoved her gently. Hyojin took a long drink and exhaled with a grimace at the fruity aftertaste. She needed something stronger for tonight.

"Seriously, I can't wait for you two to meet her! She's really easy to get along with. I've told her a lot about you guys…"

Heeyeon continued to rant animatedly about her fiance and somewhere along the way Hyojin found herself tuning out. Heeyeon’s voice turned into a distant muffle as her eyes slowly drifted around the club, passing over the dance floor and eventually settling on the sight of the bar.

Well, hello.

"I'll be back," she said abruptly. Hyelin raised a brow at her.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go get us some more drinks," she said. "Want anything specific?"

Heeyeon perked up. "You know those little umbrellas? Can you-"

"Soju's fine," Hyelin interjected with an eye roll.

"Hey!"

Hyojin left the table and shook her head with a small smile as the two of them bickered behind her. Some things never change.

She maneuvered carefully past old peers, swiftly dodging any and all attempts at conversation until she got to the bar. She seated herself down on a stool with relieved sigh and waited for the tender. She ran a hand through her hair and huffed when she caught a glimpse of her timer. Roughly, she pulled down her sleeve and rested her hand on the counter with the timer facing down. It was the last thing she wanted to think about.

"Still not fond of it, hm?" a warm voice greeted her. Despite the pulse of the loud music drowning out her thoughts, Hyojin could still recognize who it belonged to. Hesitantly, she looked over her shoulder and felt the air rush from her lungs the moment their eyes met.

"Solji?" she breathed.

"I'm surprised you recognized me so quickly. I could hardly recognize you," she smiled.

That smile.

.

.

Memories began to flicker in her mind like an old projector along with feelings she thought died long ago. Subconsciously, she had balled her right hand into a fist, the side where her timer resided.
She realized she was staring and quickly looked away, looking anywhere and everywhere but at her.

"Uh," she faltered, "I didn't think I'd see you here."

"I could say the same. You always said you'd never go to this thing."

Her heart began to hammer in her chest as she watched Solji sit down right beside her. She bit the inside of her cheek and silently prayed the bartender would hurry up already.

"I wasn't going to, but Hyelin forced me to," Hyojin admitted with a strained smile.

"Oh? Hyelin's here?" Solji grinned and peered around.

"She's in a booth in the back," Hyojin said and against her better judgment, looked up at her.

The warmth in her chest grew tenfold when she took in her appearance. Even with all the years that passed since she'd last seen her, Solji looked the same, save for the change in hair color. Certainly more mature and sophisticated, but still as beautiful as she remembered.

Her dark hair cascaded down her shoulders in perfect waves and her smile was still as bright as ever, with full lips and perfectly round cheeks. The captivating gleam in her eye was still there and Hyojin wasn’t sure if that made her happy or distressed.

She sighed and smiled gratefully at the bartender as he finally placed a few bottles of soju in front of her. She glanced over at Solji hesitantly, knowing it’d be rude to just leave her like this.

The words weighed heavily on her tongue as she gazed at her. Suddenly, she was 18 all over again and incapable of being herself around Solji.

Come on, Hyojin. Come on. 

"Do you want to join us?" she said quickly, the words spilling out of like water.

Solji's lips parted slightly in surprise before breaking out into a bright smile.

That damned smile.

"I'd love to," she said and followed after her.

They spent the rest of the night passing drinks and embarrassing themselves in front of each other like old times. Really, nothing had changed and Hyojin couldn't have been any happier about it. They completely made her forget about soulmates and the stupid timer.

Heeyeon's fiance, they later found out, was Park Junghwa, the school's old star cheerleader, also not to mention the proud owner of Hippity Hop. Hyelin didn't hold back on the trophy wife comments which flustered Heeyeon and only made the rest of them laugh.

Hyelin also didn't hold back on the glances she kept shooting her and Solji, to which Hyojin responded to by kicking her leg under the table and giving her a pointed look to stay quiet.

She tried her best to seem as indifferent as possible as they sat together, which worked for the most part until Solji started getting tipsy and clingy, her head beginning to lean on her shoulder. It was close enough for Hyojin to smell the shampoo she used and her heart to start drumming in her chest again.  

As if hearing her prayers, Heeyeon and Junghwa called it a night and started bidding everyone goodbye. Solji sat up and ran a hand through her hair, still visibly drunk. Hyojin clenched her jaw and sighed deeply through her nose.

"Are you okay to drive home?" she asked.

"Ah, I came in a taxi," she smiled softly.

Hyojin wasn't sure what compelled the next words to leave .

"I'll drive you home."

Maybe I'm not as sober as I thought. 

"Uh," Hyelin slurred, "we came in my car." She paused. "Have you seen my purse?"

Hyojin rolled her eyes and pointed at her shoulder, where her purse was obviously hanging off of. "Yeah, you seem really fit to drive right now. I'll drive so you can knock out in the back."

"You really are my best friend," Hyelin pouted and stumbled into her side, wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug. Hyojin let out an exasperated sigh and laughed when she saw Solji's amused expression.

"Come on," she waved over at Solji, ignoring the racing of her heart as she followed closely behind.

The drive back was calm, save for Hyelin's loud snores in the back seat. Solji sobered up slightly, her head resting on her palm as she stared quietly out the passenger window. Hyojin swore it was silent enough for her to hear the ticking of their timers.

"I really enjoyed tonight," Solji spoke suddenly. Hyojin glanced over at her as they came to a red light.

"I did too," she said simply, honestly. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she missed her. She missed Solji.

"I missed you," Solji said, as if reading her mind. Hyojin felt her heart speed up and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. "Why'd we stop talking?" she turned towards Hyojin.

.

Hyojin didn't respond immediately. Instead, she focused silently on the road ahead of her until she could think of something, anything to say. Anything besides the truth at least.

And the truth was that she couldn't handle it back then. She couldn't handle being in love with her and knowing they weren't meant for each other. She couldn't handle looking at the timer and still seeing it counting down despite having already found who she wanted to be her soulmate. The easiest thing she could do was to distance herself. It was the easiest way she could lessen the pain.

She glanced over warily at Solji who was still awaiting a reply. She her lips and sighed, "I don't know," she said at last. "I was going through a lot at the time and distanced myself from people and," she paused before glancing at Solji, "I regret how I handled some of it."

Solji gazed at her curiously before smiling and squeezing her shoulder. "I understand," she said and looked back out the window. "I hope we can be friends again now. You meant a lot to me, Hyojin."

"You did too," Hyojin whispered.

More than you know.

Hyojin stared up at the ceiling, eyes exhausted yet wide awake as she lied in bed. Her hand continued to clench and unclench around the piece of paper anxiously, unsure of what to do with it. She brought it up again, unwrapping it to reveal the number scribbled on it.

( xxx-xxx-xxxx) lets meet again soon - solji :) 

A knot formed in as she read it over and over as if the words would change the more she stared. She clenched her jaw and crumpled it up again, turning it into a ball before tossing it into the drawer of her nightstand. A familiar ache swelled in her chest. Even after all this time, there was still one feeling that weighed her down the most.

Regret.

She turned over on her side to face the wall and closed her eyes with a hopeless sigh.

Despite the haziness of her dreams, she could faintly make out Solji’s smile.

It takes a week for Hyojin to cave in. A week of Hyelin's constant pushing at least.

Her hands shook slightly as she typed in the phone number and she would've laughed at how ridiculous she was being if she wasn't completely nerve wracked.

She didn't know why she was doing this when she already knew it was a lost cause, but she still couldn't stop herself from thinking about that note every second of the day.

You're just setting yourself up for heartbreak, Hyojin told herself as she repeatedly typed in and deleted the number. A groan slipped past her lips as she fell back on the bed, her phone still clutched tightly in her hand. She had typed it enough times to memorize it by heart now.

Her timer felt heavier than usual today and Hyojin wanted nothing more than to tear it off and beam it at the wall in frustration. If it didn't exist, she would've taken a chance by now. She wouldn't have distanced herself from Solji all those years ago and completely give up on love.

This is ridiculous.

She glared at her wrist and tightened her grip on her phone. She was still acting like a coward because of the bull timer when she promised herself she wouldn't let it control her life. Hyojin clenched her jaw and took a deep breath.

With renewed confidence, she grabbed her phone and typed in Solji's number. Her fingers worked quickly as she typed up a short message and hit send without giving herself time to hesitate.

She threw her phone to the side and fell back on her bed, her hands covering her face and a loud sigh leaving her lips. She knew if Hyelin were here she'd be mocking her for being so scared and Hyojin would be beating her to death with a pillow. At least then she'd have a way to take out her stress.

A notification chimed from her phone almost instantly and Hyojin felt her heart sink into her stomach. Slowly, she sat up and reached for it, taking a deep breath before unlocking it.

-Hyojin: hey, im free this weekend and thought we could hang out. dinner’s on me. 

-Solji: I'd love to!! When and where? 

Hyojin sagged into her bed in relief and felt laughter bubble in her chest.

She felt like a high schooler all over again.

"When you said dinner was on you, I was expecting something like a restaurant," Solji chuckled as she paid the delivery man for the takeaway.

Hyojin shrugged from the couch as she popped a dumpling into . “You shouldn’t expect much from starving artists," she said.

Solji sat down with a wry smile and nudged her shoulder. "I still can't believe you're a music producer. Have I heard any of your songs before?" she asked curiously. Hyojin hummed as she fiddled with the controller in her hands, eyes glued to the TV in concentration.

"If you had, I wouldn't be buying us fast food and would be treating you to something nicer," she laughed. When Hyojin noticed her frown she quickly corrected herself. "I'm kidding, I'm just lazy. You've probably heard one."

"Which one?" Solji asked as she unpacked the food.

Hyojin wrinkled her nose in thought. "Ever heard of 'Troublemaker'?"

There was an immediate gasp. "Seriously? You produced that song?" she stared at her starry eyed. Hyojin let out a breathy laugh and quickly brushed off her praise.

“It’s nothing,” she shrugged and drew her attention back to the food. “What about you? What do you do nowadays?”

“Ah, I’m just a vocal teacher,” Solji waved a hand dismissively as if it wasn’t impressive. Hyojin nudged her gently with a smile.

“You sing?”

It was Solji’s turn to be flustered now.

“Of course, it’s my job,” she sniffed. Hyojin rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean. Have you ever thought about being a singer? That was your dream in high school.”

There was a small pause in the conversation that made Hyojin turn to Solji, who had a thoughtful expression on her face. “I did think about it and I did go for it,” she admitted, “but one thing led to another and things didn’t end up working out,” she finished lamely. Hyojin quickly noticed Solji’s shift in mood and frowned.

Hesitantly, she brought her hand to Solji’s shoulder and squeezed it. Solji looked up at her gratefully and rested a hand on top of hers, causing Hyojin’s pulse quicken embarrassingly fast. “The world doesn’t know what they’re missing out on,” she said without thought. Solji glanced away with a breathy laugh and dropped her hand.

“I appreciate the compliment but you haven’t even heard me sing,” she shoved her.

Hyojin ran a hand through her hair with a smile and mindlessly moved her food around with her fork, distracting herself from the flush on her cheeks. “You were good in high school, so I can only imagine how much you’ve improved.”

The conversation fell into another lull after that, but it was comfortable silence. Despite how nervous Solji made her, there was a strange warmth that came with her. One that she hadn’t felt in years and was slowly realizing she missed.

They continued to catch up, telling old stories and reliving memories together that brought a fond smile to Hyojin’s face. They fell into a cycle of lighthearted teasing that Hyojin couldn’t stop herself from instigating since it meant hearing Solji’s obnoxious (precious) laugh.

“I see your habit of hitting people while laughing hasn’t changed,” Hyojin smiled as she dramatically rubbed the imaginary bruises on her shoulder. Solji rolled her eyes with a small smile and leaned over her to grab her beer off the table. Hyojin leaned backwards awkwardly, trying not to notice the sweet scent of her perfume and the way her shirt rode up slightly, exposing the small of her back.

She cleared as Solji drew back. They both sat there quietly on the carpet, backs leaning against the couch and the faint sound of music playing in the background. Solji took a long sip of her beer and glanced over at Hyojin curiously, the way she had been doing all night as if she had a question on the tip of her tongue but was too hesitant to ask.

Hyojin caught her gaze and smiled. “What is it, Solji?” she asked finally. Solji bit her lip and furrowed her brows in thought before looking back at her, parting her lips as if to finally speak only to close them again. “Whatever it is, you can talk to me,” she said, hoping her words sounded as sincere as she wanted them to be.

With a huff, Solji waved away her worry and smiled. “It’s nothing,” she said and looked down at her lap. “I was just wondering… “ her words trailed off as her gaze rested on Hyojin’s wrist.

“Have you found your soulmate yet?”

Hyojin blinked.

What?

“What?” she blurted.

Noticing Hyojin’s shock, Solji quickly withdrew her question. “Ah, nevermind, it’s not my place to ask,” Solji apologized. Hyojin shook her head slowly and took a breath.

“It’s okay, you just caught me off guard,” she said and anxiously ran a hand through her hair. She glanced over at Solji, who still seemed regretful of her question, and sighed to herself. “I haven’t,” she admitted. Solji looked at her in surprise and, Hyojin noticed, a hint of relief.

“Really?” she furrowed her brows. Hyojin shrugged and took a long sip from her beer, not at all ready for this conversation. “How much time do you have left?” Solji asked.

Hyojin took a deep breath and leaned back, staring off into the ceiling. “I don’t know,” she said simply. Solji just blinked.

“You don’t know? Is there something wrong with your timer?”

“I don’t check it.”

A beat passed.

“Why?”

A knot formed in the base of and Hyojin closed her eyes, hoping it’d make it easier for her to speak. “It’s kind of a long story but, in short, I just think this whole soulmate thing is bull,” when Solji didn’t respond, she took it as a hint to continue. “My first love didn’t turn out so well and it’s kind of put me off from love altogether, you know?” she looked towards Solji and furrowed her brows slightly when she noticed the look in her eyes. There was something strangely melancholic there that vanished as quickly as it appeared.

“I understand,” Solji said softly and diverted her eyes to the floor. “I thought I found mine a few years ago, but like always they weren’t the one,” she sighed wistfully and looked back up at Hyojin. “Like you, I’m starting to think soulmates are… bull .”

Hyojin held back a snort at Solji’s awkward (cute) attempt at cursing and smiled gratefully. “Don’t give up yet,” she nudged her. “I know your soulmate is out there thinking the same thing, wondering if it’s still worth the wait.”

Despite the solemn mood, Solji smiled. “I should say the same for you then,” she gazed at her. “You won’t know you’ve met the one if you never look.”

“Ah,” Hyojin sighed and slowly shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll be able to move on any time soon,” she said, the words feeling heavy as they left .

“They must have been pretty special,” Solji spoke softly.

Hyojin looked up at her, their eyes locking for just a moment before she averted them. She swallowed the knot in and took another drink, finishing her can in one go and setting it down on the table with a sigh. “They were,” she smiled.

You are.

The rest of the night passed by in a blur and before Hyojin knew it, she was walking Solji out the door and reluctantly saying goodbye. Solji pouted as she slipped on her coat and gave Hyojin a tight hug, also not wanting to leave. “I really missed you,” she smiled. “Let’s hang out again soon, okay? Even if it’s just takeaway and beer in your living room again.”

Hyojin chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. “I promise next time it’ll be a little nicer,” she said. Solji pulled away with a smile which quickly fell the minute she noticed her wrist. Hyojin raised a brow at the sudden change.

“What is it?”

Solji tilted her head in confusion as she examined her timer, her brows knitted tightly together. “My timer,” she said. “It changed.” She held out her wrist and pointed at it. “It used to be a year, but it dropped to a month.”

Wordlessy, Hyojin brushed a thumb over the timer as she stared. She could feel her heart sigh while reading the timestamp. “Guess you’ll be meeting your soulmate sooner than you thought,” she laughed and prayed it didn’t sound as hollow as it felt. Solji examined her wrist again before dropping her hand to her side.

“I guess,” she whispered, still puzzled. “I’ll get going now,” she looked back at Hyojin, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Hyojin waved with a small smile. As soon as Solji was out of sight, Hyojin closed the door and sagged against it with a sigh.

Again, she was alone with the ache in her chest.

In the dark of Hyojin’s bedroom, restless thoughts circled her mind. Her mind kept rewinding back to when Solji said goodbye, the warm hug she gave her and the dreaded timer than ruined the moment. kept running dry when she thought about the countdown. A month. Solji had a month until she met her soulmate and, as if the world had to mock her, she found out right in front of her.

Why the hell did it change? Why?

Huffing, she turned over to her side. Her wrist rested inches away from her face, the timer seeming ridiculously daunting as Hyojin stared at it. Ironically, this thing that was supposed to direct her love life was ruining it. A thought crossed her mind, but Hyojin dismissed it as quickly as it came.

How desperate would I be to think I caused the change?

Hyojin stared at her wrist, internally struggling with herself to not check it. Whether it was out of fear or stubbornness, she wasn’t even sure of anymore. With a shaky breath, she raised her hand to her sleeve, tugging down and revealing a sliver of it. Her heart raced in her chest and before she knew it she was pulling it back up and retracting her hand.

She balled her hands into fists and stared back up at the ceiling, wanting to cry out in frustration.

Even after all this time, I’m still afraid.