After receiving the news: Hanahaki Disease stage 1, Kai started his treatment by talking to doctor Kang…

If you have known this guy for years, what do you think happened that triggered your symptoms? As far as you told me, you are in a relationship. Perhaps… is he in a relationship too? - asked doctor Kang

WH-WHAT? HYUNG IN A RELATIONSHIP?? NO!! he can’t be, he—he-- wou--- hyung would have told me- Kai was shocked, trying to find out when things took a turn, he wasn’t sure of anything… I’m in a relationship but things aren’t fine. It isn’t her fault, she has been perfect and understanding, but the problem is that I am not fully invested, I feel so sorry towards her…

It would be a good idea to clarify your mind, perhaps you can ask her for a break? - suggested doctor Kang. Kai accepted the suggestion, though he wasn’t just gonna ask for some time, he was gonna break up, it was unfair to keep pushing a relationship that had no future.

Going back to the topic Jongin-sshi, we need to find out what is the origin of you sudden symptoms, for how long do you think you’ve been attracted to your hyung?-

Since always, I can’t pinpoint a time when I was not attracted to him, he was so tender, so careful, I have always been in love with him. It has been years- a deflated Kai answer.

But there must have been a turning point in this story, take a minute, breathe, reflect and tell me what you can remember, when you started to notice some changes, even if they seemed small ones- suggested doctor Kang giving time to Kai for thinking and relaxing, as the minutes past Kai started to talk:

Recently I have noticed some small changes in my hyung: like he’s there but not quite. It’s confusing, this started when he came back from his vacation. It was the first time in years that he took one. We spent lots of time together before his departure, though… when he came back everything seemed different…It’s just that… I’ve always felt so protected whenever I was near him. He was a reassuring presence, a warm hug, a firm hand and all of the sudden everything was gone. Not completely because we still hang around but nothing feels the same. I almost believe he is just acting like he cares, but he doesn’t. It’s strange I want him to be the hyung from the past: the one that gaze at me during rehearsals. Now he just watches the choreography and points out the mistakes. I miss his good morning greeting, the way he called my name, every time we went out he thought of me first making sure I had space to sit comfortable, even when I was sleepy or angry he never complained and he calmed me down. Whenever he smiled at me his eyes turned into half-moon and his lips formed a heart. Everything about him was beautiful. I just want that back but it looks like a foolish dream now-

Woah, this is the longest you have talked to me. Everything is clearer to me now- said doctor Kang.

Can you elaborate more doctor? – asked a confused Kai.

Right, let me explain: you have always been attracted to your hyung, since you always got away with whatever you wanted like hugs, words or simple touches you were in a safe zone. However the moment the dynamic changed, when he went on vacation by himself, made you feel lost and it triggered the disease. Let’s give this whole situation some time. Perhaps the disease would not progress if you get used to not have that constant need to be so close to him. Plus taking the medicine I prescribed it should lessen the symptoms. If you noticed new signs come back as soon as possible, does it sound good for you Jongin-sshi?

I guess it does, I want to feel better- Kai stood up and left doctor Kang’s consult.

Oh god, if it is what I suspect… This poor guy is going to get the surgery yes or yes- lamented doctor Kang.

Unfortunately a week later everything went downhill, as predicted, Kai and Jennie made their break up public. The fans were fighting over the internet, paparazzi were following Kai everywhere, and his social networks were flooded with messages he didn’t even want to read. The situation was awful, Kai wanted to find some consolation in his Kyungsoo, like it used to be in the past: long hour talking to his hyung put his heart at easy, it would always lessen his worries. But giving his current situation, the robotic answers Kyungsoo gave triggered more unpleasant symptoms. During his session Kai started to cough more violently to the point of expelling a petal. Doctor Kang took the petal in his hand and examined it:

I guess you know what this means Jongin-sshi, you have reached the stage 2. I strongly advise you to have the surgery-

I’m not ready for it yet doctor, can you tell me the meaning behind the petal? - Kai was in such a miserable state. Doctor Kang kept his professionalism and did brief research. After a couple of minutes digging in his files the doctor answered Kai’s question:

The name of the flower petal in my hand is Primrose, once it is in bloom it would have delicate yellowish petals with alight orange center. This is picture for your reference- Doctor Kang showed a photograph to Kai, he continue with his explanation-The meaning of this flower is: I can’t live without you, the color represents clarity, intellect, honor, loyalty and joy. In conclusion this type of flower and the color behind it are all the associations your body makes to your hyung.

Quite adequate- Kai bitterly reasoned the small flower looked so delicate, but it hurt so much when the petal came out of his mouth. As I said before doctor I’m not into having the surgery, I’m just a big walking mess. To my Kyungsoo I became transparent, just another member, another colleague to work with and it is literally killing me. Maybe all I have to do is hurt for a while, if I undergo a surgery the only thing that will remain are scars-

Jongin-sshi no one deserves pain or unhappiness. You are in a very unfortunate situation, I’m aware it’s not an easy choice for you but please think about it. Your health will deteriorate each day, the medicine won’t be enough to lessen the pain. You don’t have to enter the operating room right away, just think about it- commented doctor Kang.

You’re right, I’ll think about it. See you in the session doctor- Kai bid his farewell and left the medical consultation. Doctor was left with a heavy heart:

Finally, I got the name of the hyung he is in love with, but it’s useless, such a sad story. The right person but the wrong timing-