A coffee shop was usually a place where people went to relax, ate some dessert, did their homework or just spent some alone time. But for Lee Jeno, it was more than just a shop. It was the place where he worked. The place which helped him take it each day, paid enough to cover up his rents, made sure he didn’t go hungry. For Jeno, this coffee shop named “Wanderer’s Café” was his lifeline. And now, he was about to lose it.

Jeno let out a frustrated sigh. The meeting with the owner of the café, Moon Taeil, had just ended. Taeil wasn’t only the owner of this shop, but also the closest thing Jeno had to a family. And now Taeil was kicking him out.

Well, technically not “kicking” him out. Taeil was closing down the shop. He was a music major in YGE University and rumors said he was one of the best in the history of the university. Jeno didn’t know about all that history stuff but he was definitely good. Good enough to finally get accepted in SM Entertainment in Korea, one of biggest entertainment agencies out there. And as much as Jeno was happy for Taeil, he also knew what it meant. Taeil leaving meant closing the shop down, which also meant Jeno was going to be jobless. He’d been expecting this meeting to happen for weeks and it finally did. Taeil apologized for it, of course, and maybe Renjun claimed it was no big deal. But it freaking was. At least for Jeno.

“Hey Jeno!” an all too familiar voice called his name and he instantly knew who it was. Speak of the devil. He turned around to face the red haired 22 years old and forced a smile, “Hey, Taeil.” Taeil looked up to meet his eyes, “Are you going home?” “Well, yeah. It’s almost 9 pm and we’re closed for today after all.” “Okay, then let me walk you home.” Taeil offered and as much as Jeno wanted to decline his offer, he couldn’t. Because one, it was already dark out and as much as Jeno denied it, he was dead scared of walking home alone. Two, when Taeil looked at you with those puppy eyes of his, you really didn’t have much of a choice but to do whatever he said. So Jeno found himself saying, “Sure, why not?”

So here they were, walking side by side down the roads of Downtown LA. After walking in silence for a while, Taeil spoke up, “I’m sorry.” Jeno looked at him in surprise, “What are you sorry for?” “For everything.” There was a pause before Taeil continued, “I’m sorry that I’m leaving. I’m sorry that I won’t be here to hear you blabber about last night’s soccer game, or take care of you when you’re down with a fever. I’m sorry that I’m leaving you on your own in this godforsaken city. I’m sorry that I’m leaving you, and the others, jobless when I know how much you need the money. I-I’m sorry for everything.” Jeno halted his footsteps before completely turning his body to meet Taeil’s wavering gaze. He stared at the older for a while before he finally opened his mouth, “don’t say sorry, Taeil. There is nothing to be sorry about. You’ve been chasing after your dream of becoming an idol for years. Now you finally have the chance. Go for it. Don’t worry about me, or Renjun, or Yuta, or Jaehyun. We’ll be fine. We can find another job.” He paused before he forced a smile, “I might be a high school dropout but I swear I can charm anyone into giving me a job. I have this angelic face only for that purpose.” He winked at Taeil and Taeil let out a laugh. “Really, Taeil. I’ll be fine. Go chase after your dream, capture it and show the world what you’re capable of. Because god knows that I know what it feels like when your dreams are shattered.” Jeno took one look at Taeil’s face and knew he hit a sensitive spot. Nobody talked about Jeno’s past. They all acted as if it never happened, never existed, including Jeno. And even though Jeno preferred it that way, he knew it was the only way he could finally convince his ‘brother’ to leave. (Because hey, you don’t need to be blood related to be family.) “Are you okay though?” Taeil asked. ‘You’re leaving. How can I be okay?’ but Jeno obviously didn’t say that out loud. “I’ll be fine. When are you leaving?” he asked. “10^th of next month.” Came Taeil’s reply. Well, at least Jeno had a whole month to figure out a way. He always did. It’d be fine. At least Jeno hoped so.

When Jeno finally went home, it was nearing 10pm. He wasn’t hungry and not in the mood of cooking either. So he just grabbed a packet of instant ramen to fill his stomach. Even though it tasted like , he didn’t care. He had something in his stomach and it was all that mattered. He didn’t remember how a home cooked meal tasted like. Not after all these years.

It was 12am when Jeno decided he had enough of all that tossing and turning. He wasn’t sleepy and the bed was too hard for a human to sleep on. Hell, even the floor was probably more comfortable than his bed. But Jeno couldn’t sleep on the floor. It made him….remember things. So Jeno got up, put on a jacket and a pair of worn out shoes and he was out of his apartment.

After walking aimlessly for a while, he came across the old park of his neighborhood. Nobody came here anymore so he decided it was a perfect place to think about things, about his life, and maybe have a mental breakdown after thinking about his future too much, who knew. So he went in, sat on one of the two swings and looked up at the night sky.

He was going to be jobless in a month. What if he didn’t find another job? Jeno was pretty sure nobody would want a high school dropout. If he didn’t get a job, he couldn’t pay his rents, if he couldn’t pay his rent then he was going to be kicked out of his apartment. Which meant he’d also be homeless. He still had to pay back the $300 he borrowed from Mark. Mark was going to kill him. He wasn’t exactly known for his kindness. Rather the opposite. Well, hopefully if he got kicked out, then he wouldn’t have a place to stay at and Mark would never find him. Duh, who was he kidding? Mark had his connections. If Jeno even tried to escape, he’d find him and make sure he paid for his ‘betrayal’. He always did.

Jeno let out a sigh. They said people become stars after their death. Jeno wanted to believe it. He was sure his mother was also one of the countless stars scattered around the night sky.

“Hey mom, how are you doing? Is God treating you well? He better. Mom, I can’t sleep without nightmares haunting me each night. Everybody left me. Everybody hates me. You did, dad did, Taeyong did. Now even Taeil is leaving. Renjun told me things will get better with time. My wounds will heal and I’ll be happy once again. But mom, it’s been so long. Why am I still standing here alone, hurting alone, crying alone? Why is everything getting worse? Why does it hurt so much to breathe? Did I do something really really bad in my past life to be treated like dirt? To be thrown around like a ball until everybody eventually gets tired of me? Is this my life now? Mom, where are you when I need you the most? Come back to me, please.”

Jeno didn’t realize he was crying before a voice beside him said, “Do you want a tissue?” Jeno’s snapped his neck at the direction of the voice so hard that he might’ve broken his neck in the process. Before him stood a boy around his height. Jeno couldn’t see his face properly in the dark but he assumed the boy was around his age. Which meant 19 years old. He shook his head, “No, thanks.” The boy shrugged before sitting on the swing beside Jeno’s. An awkward silence hung heavy on the air. Jeno felt suffocated. He needed to get out of here. He needed to run. But he didn’t know where to go back to. His apartment in the rundown part of the city was as sure as hell not an option.

The stranger broke the silence first, “The stars look beautiful, don’t they?” “Huh? Oh, yeah. They look amazing indeed.” Jeno replied, kind of surprised. “Did you know that some stars are thousands of light years away? So the starlight you’re seeing right now, it’s probably hundreds of years old. Maybe that star doesn’t even exist anymore!” the boy exclaimed. Jeno looked up at the sky in wonder, “yeah. That might be true. But aren’t we also like stars? People don’t spare a glance at you when you’re still here. Maybe you’re trying to tell them a story, sell a painting or submit a song you recorded. Nobody cares. But the moment you die, they suddenly become your biggest fans. Your book is selling millions of copies, you painting is hanging in the Louvre Museum. Like the stars, we keep burning and burning when we’re alive. Mentally, physically. But our voice is lost in the crowd. Just like we can’t see those certain stars while they’re still shining, we can’t see the worth of a human until she or he is gone forever.” Suddenly Jeno felt shy after that little speech, “Ah, I’m sorry. I blabbered about totally unrelated stuff.” “Nah, it’s okay.” The stranger assured him with a smile, ”That was kinda cool.” Jeno blushed a little and then he asked, “What brings you here so late at night?” “I wanted to paint the night sky but you can’t see the sky from my place, so I came here.” “I see…” “How about you?” “Couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts occupying my goddamn brain.” “Don’t curse your brain. It might get angry and decide to shut down. What are you going do when that happens?” at that, Jeno laughed, “I’d be happy to be honest.” “You’re weird.” The boy commented. And then he added, “But a cool kind of weird!” Jeno gave him a look, “are you sure you’re not the weird one? You’re here talking with a complete stranger. What if I kill you and get rid of your body?” “Kidnap me instead. You might get money, who knows. Killing me won’t benefit you in any way. And besides, I’ll finally be out of that hellhole called college for a few days.” “You go to college?” “Yeah. YGE University. I’m a literature major.” The boy stood up, “I guess I gotta go now. See you around I guess?” “Maybe.” Hummed Jeno in response. Mr. Stranger waved at him and started walking towards the exit before stopping, “Hey kidnapper, my name is Na Jaemin by the way. You better know the name of the person you’re kidnapping.” Jeno chuckled, “Lee Jeno is the name.” Jaemin waved at him once again and disappeared into the night. Jeno checked his phone. 1:44 am. He really needed to get home.

That night Jeno dreamed of a boy with big soft chocolate brown eyes and a smile which could rival the sun. And if his heart flattered, he told no one.