.

Dating a celebrity wasn’t easy, and you knew this going into your relationship with Seongwu. It was rough at first, but the two of you worked through a lot of your problems. Your relationship was good and the two of you rarely had large fights. Even when you had these fights, it wasn’t long before the two of you made up because you felt so terrible being apart. So, living with Seongwu should have been easy. Moving in together wasn’t a decision that the two of you made on a whim. Knowing how different your lives were, you both tested it out at first, spending extended periods of times, often up to a couple weeks, at each other’s places. You had both kept things at each other’s places to the point where you practically shared two living spaces. So it was only natural for the two of you to move in together. Yet, now that you were actually living together, it was proving far harder than you had originally expected.

Seongwu’s busy schedule took some getting used to. You knew he would be out of the house a lot. This was something you had gotten used to when you were living apart, but it was different now that you shared a living space. With your own stress building up from work, Seongwu’s lack of a presence around the apartment made things difficult. Though you had a lot of things to do, the fact that he wasn’t around meant that you had to pick up all the chores. It had been okay before when you weren’t swamped with deadlines, but now it was too much. You were having a hard time and the least he could do was help when he was home, right?

“Seongwu, I’m not asking for a lot. All I’m asking is that you pick up after yourself when you’re home. Like, gee, I don’t know, make sure that your clothes actually make it into the hamper when you’re getting changed?” you suggested. This was normally a small issue if not, even a non-issue. Picking up his clothes while you were clearing up your own was a small task. You understood that he was tired when he got home, and sometimes, it was just easier to leave everything strewn around. Yet, there was only so far that this kindness and understanding could go. Mostly after you woke up to find his clothes everywhere, literally. It was like Seongwu had tried to get them into the hamper, but he missed every attempt, the dirty laundry falling around the hamper and worse, onto the clean clothes.

You heard him scoff in response. “Are you kidding me? You make it sound like that’s the worst thing in the world, but babe, that’s totally the pot calling the kettle black. Have you seen the state of our bathroom? If I need to pick up my clothes, then you have to clean up the monstrosity in our bathroom. Seriously, who needs that many makeup products?” Seongwu retorted. He had just gotten out of the shower and entered your share bedroom to get his things before leaving for the day. He was absolutely exhausted. Seongwu had just come back from four days of back-to-back schedules, spending most of his time at the dorm as it was easier to get the members from schedule to schedule. He was hoping he would finally get some rest this morning before he headed out for another day of schedules, but it seemed like that wasn’t the case. Honestly, Seongwu wasn’t usually unreasonable, but he was particularly irritable this morning.

He had a problem with… your makeup products? Okay, if you were being truthful, you supposed that he had a point. You used to always keep the counters spotless, putting away every makeup product as you used it. But lately, you had been slipping. Your deadlines looming cut into your morning routine, and often, you didn’t have the time to tidy up the counter after you were done with your makeup. It did, from time to time, look like a makeup store exploded of it, but it was not as bad as Seongwu and his clothes in your opinion. “Oh, come on, as an idol you should know that sometimes, more than just a couple of makeup products are needed. And if I remember properly, you use them from time to time too, so that mess isn’t entirely mine,” you countered.

“No, see, I put my things away after using them, unlike you,” he retorted, his words coming off harsher than either of you had expected them to.

His response irked you and you couldn’t stop your anger from bubbling to the surface. “Do you though?” you shot back. “My oh-so-wonderful-roommate, please tell me when you last did any of the chores around the apartment? If memory serves, I’ve been doing them all. So yeah, sometimes I forget to clean up my makeup, but if I didn’t clean up at all, this place would be a hell-hole!”

Your words struck a chord with Seongwu. Part of him hated that you brought this up. After all, it wasn’t like he didn’t want to help around the apartment. He just physically couldn’t do it. There weren’t enough hours in the day for him to also do the laundry. Of all the people, he thought you understood his schedule and how busy he could be. But maybe… maybe he was wrong. “You know I’ve been busy,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Yes Seongwu, and I’ve also been busy. But I’m still putting in an effort. Would it be so hard for you to do the same?” Your words were getting pointed. This was the first big argument the two of you had in a long time, and it was escalating quickly. If you were calmer, you would have known to de-escalate the situation. But you were thinking clearly. You were just… so upset.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take the way you were poking at him.  He was trying to be calm, but it wasn’t working out. All of his emotions just came to the forefront in words he never thought he would speak. “Fine, if you hate living in this hell-hole so much, why don’t you just leave?” Seongwu snapped.

His words caught you off guard. You knew this argument was getting heated, but you didn’t realize that it was to this point. “W-wait, Seongwu –”

“No, my lifestyle is obviously too much for you. You just want a normal life with a normal boyfriend so why don’t you find it. If you hate it here so much, just never come back!”

Your shock was getting the better of you. You never thought you would hear those words from Seongwu. You were speechless in a moment where you knew you needed to say something. And your inability to form words right away seemed to confirm something for Seongwu. “S-seongwu, let’s talk this over when we’re more level-headed, okay?” you asked, feeling a rush of emotions all at once.

“No, I want you out of here by the time I get back tonight. If you still have things here, you can come and get them when I’m not home. But I don’t want to see you when I get back.” And with that, Seongwu grabbed his things and left, leaving you stunned and unsure of how to deal with what had just transpired…

========

An hour had passed since Seongwu had left the apartment and you were still shocked. Knowing you wouldn’t be able to focus on your deadlines if you left for work immediately, you called in for a half day. You let everyone know you would be in after lunch and would make the hours up throughout the week. You didn’t know exactly what you should have been doing with your time, but that was when you remembered Seongwu’s words. They still pierced your heart like a dagger, but you knew it was best to get started on it. So, you pulled out your large suitcase and packed your things.

Honestly, nothing about this felt right. It was true; you knew you had upset him, and that the tension between the two of you was high, but leaving didn’t seem like the right answer. Truth be told, you would have been more than willing to work it out with Seongwu. The two of you had put a lot of time and effort into this relationship and to see it crumble over something like this didn’t seem right. Yet, whenever you thought about things like this, his words from earlier would keep replaying in your mind. They were harsh; they were cold, and no matter how you felt, he was obviously done with you. Seongwu never had an outburst like this in the two years you had been together, and every time you thought back to it, it hurt your heart. If he didn’t want to work it out, you would not force him to either.

As you were folding up your clothes and placing them into your suitcase, you heard a familiar ping from your phone and gently picked it up, reading the message you had received from your friend, Sera. She told you that you could spend the evening at her place though you did not disclose to her why you needed a place to stay. Sera was the one that introduced you to Seongwu, and you knew if she found out why you were staying over, she would have marched over and yelled at him for his stupidity. You didn’t want her to do that. You and Seongwu were adults and you could work this out on your own. No, you had worked it out already.

Placing the last of your important items into your suitcase, including the ‘monstrosity’ in the bathroom, you zipped it up and decided that it was time to head to work. As you left your room and were headed out the door, your eyes landed on a very familiar looking item. Seongwu’s phone. It was still sitting on the counter, plugged into his charger near the kitchen. You eyed it momentarily, the thought of dropping it off with him crossing your mind. You were hesitant to do so. He was mad at your and seeing you would only add fuel to the fire. Yet, wouldn’t he be inconvenienced if he didn’t have his phone? Sure, you were upset as well, but you knew how important it was for him to have his phone on him at all times. So, against your better judgment, you picked it up, sliding it into your purse as you made your way out of the apartment, knowing it would be one of the last times you saw it.

========

“You know you screwed up, right?” Jisung stated, rather than asked, as the boys waited backstage for their prerecording to start.

“Hyung, please don’t remind me,” Seongwu replied, his face buried in one of the decorative throw pillows that had been lying on the couch. In the heat of the moment, Seongwu felt that his words were justified. He got to work that morning thinking everything he said was right. You shouldn’t stay in a place you didn’t like, and if the two of you didn’t mesh, why even try fixing it? Yet, now that he was away from the situation, and had time to cool down, he regretted everything he said.

Truthfully, Seongwu didn’t want you to leave. He loved you more than he cared to admit, and he liked living with you. He liked that the two of you shared a place, that it was your own and he could come home directly to you. He could hold you when he had a stressful day and your presence would just melt away all of his worries and concerns. He didn’t want you to be gone when he got home that night, but he didn’t know how he could get you to stay either. Going back to you and begging for you to not leave wasn’t an option. He didn’t want you to see him as that guy. But if he kept acting like this, he knew you would leave, anyway. Ugh, this was all a mess.

“I will keep reminding you because you’re an idiot. Seongwu, that girl of yours puts up with everything you do, every weird little habit and quirk that you have. She deals with your busy schedule and her own. All she wanted was for you to put away your clothes. Is that really so damn difficult? How the hell could you yell at her for something so dumb?” Jisung reprimanded. Seongwu was a sweet guy. He could be kind. But sometimes, even Jisung couldn’t understand him or his temper that would flare up.

“You’ve never once yelled at me for leaving my things out and we’ve lived together for longer,” Daniel pointed out as he poked Seongwu to get him to scoot over, the younger male taking a seat next to him.

“Neither of you are helping the situation.”

“Why don’t you just message her and tell her you were wrong,” Daniel urged.

“I can’t…” came Seongwu’s muffled reply.

“I swear to god Seongwu, if this is about your pride, I will smack you,” Jisung said flatly. Sometimes Seongwu was intolerable.

“It’s not my pride! It’s because I left my phone at home when I stormed out this morning…” he muttered. He lifted his head momentarily from the pillow, and the only thing he was met with was judging stares from both of his colleagues.

========

Your friends had told you about how awkward it could be to revisit a place where an ex usually frequented. You have never thought of it much, thinking your friends were overreacting, but now that you were walking up to the broadcasting station not sure of where your relationship with Seongwu stood, you understood what they meant. Back when Seongwu was still relatively new to the industry and to these stations, he would often urge you to come and visit him. He wanted to show you how the music shows were filmed or how the variety shows were made. Every time you showed up he shared a different aspect of his career with you, and you had to admit that you enjoyed your visits as much as he did. You remembered how Seongwu’s face would light up every time you arrived with lunch or coffee for him. It felt like it all happened a long time ago, but that wasn’t really the case at all.

Still, with how often you used to visit, you were a familiar face to many of the staff members, so it didn’t take you long to get backstage and towards the idol dressing rooms. You wandered down the vast hall, another familiar intern pointing to the door at the far end as she knew exactly where you were going. You thanked her and slowly approached the door with a piece of paper which had ‘Wanna One’ inscribed on it. However, as you drew closer, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. Seongwu had told you to leave, saying he didn’t want to see you again. So how would he take you showing up out of the blue? Honestly, it probably didn’t paint you in the best light, but you weren’t here for anything serious. You just wanted to drop off his phone. Would he think badly of you for doing that?

You had been seriously contemplating your next move, of whether to enter the dressing room, when a familiar voice called out to you. You turned and saw one of Wanna One’s managers, greeting you with a small smile as he drew closer. “I wasn’t expecting you today. I thought you would be at work,” he stated.

“I-I should,” you said slowly, watching as his brow furrowed. You knew the male probably thought something was wrong, and you decided to put his mind at ease. “I overslept this morning and had to take the morning off from work to try to get up and running again. Nothing serious,” you lied. You realized your sudden appearance was pretty suspect. Shoot.

The male gave you a nod, not questioning anything you had said. Relief washed over you. “Here to see Seongwu?” he inquired, pulling you out from the thoughts that had spawned. “Unfortunately, you‘ll have to wait. The boys just moved to standby so they’ll be pre-recording soon. We could go watch them if you want? Or if you’d rather wait, it should only take about an hour?”

The fact that Seongwu was busy lifted a weight off of your shoulders. You didn’t want to deal with how angry he could have gotten that you showed up like this, and you didn’t want to look like a puppy with its tail between its legs either. If you didn’t actually have to interact with him, it was for the better. “Actually, I don’t need to see him. Seongwu forgot his phone at home today, and I thought he would need it. So I’m just here to drop it off. I have to get going to work,” you explained, reaching into your purse to pull out the thin device. “If you could make sure that he gets it, or maybe slip it into his bag, I would really appreciate it.”

His manager nodded. “I’ll make sure to let him know you stopped by.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to do that. I just wanted to make sure he had his phone,” you replied quickly, thanking his manager again before you disappeared out of the building.

========

“Thank you for your hard work today,” Seongwu said politely as he walked past the recording staff, bowing to them while following the other members back into their dressing room. As soon as he had passed the threshold, Seongwu let out a sigh of relief, glad that the most difficult part of their day was over. While their manager recapped what the rest of their day would be like, the boys went through their bags, changing out of their performance clothes and into something more casual before they were shuttled to their next destination. As Seongwu was pulling his hoodie from his bag, his phone landed with a gentle thud on the couch. Wait, how was that here? He was sure he had forgotten it at home, so–no, it couldn’t be…

“Hyung, did she drop off my phone?” he asked turning to the manager that wasn’t with them at standby earlier.

The manager didn’t answer him right away but he could see that the older male was struggling with something. That gave Seongwu his answer, however, so he continued. “Did she say anything to you when she dropped it off?”

This time he sighed before shaking his head. “Not really. She told me you forgot your phone and that I should put it in your bag. She said nothing else other than she had to head to work.”

Seongwu felt his heart drop. Every time you dropped something off for him, whether it was something he forgot or just a quick snack, you always left a message with their managers. If it was something more personal, they would let you slip a note in with the item. Yet, this time, there was nothing. No message, no note. And at that moment, he knew he screwed up… as if his talk with Jisung and Daniel wasn’t already an indicator. Now he had to figure out how to fix it all…

========

On most days, you were eager for work to end so you could go home and relax. Today, however, was quite the opposite. Maybe it was because… you didn’t really have a home to go back to. You had been distracted for most of the day, your mind not being able to focus on the looming deadline. You worried about where you would live now that you and Seongwu were no longer an item. There was only so long that Sera’s kindness could last. After all, she had other roommates, and you felt like you were already imposing by asking to stay for one night. You couldn’t ask for more than that. Your family home was out of the question as it was too far away. The rest of your friends were also in relationships and living with their significant others. There was a solution, just the prospects were daunting.

As your mind raced with your future living situation, your fingers aimlessly typed the data into the computer. You didn’t realize that work had ended more than half an hour ago until your co-worker gently tapped you on the shoulder. He gave you a small smile, and you quickly thanked him as he left, packing up your own things before you headed out of the building. Just as you were coming to the front doors, your eyes caught sight of a familiar car, a car you didn’t think you would see again, at least, not in this way. A figure stood just outside, leaning against it as he waited for you, and you felt something weird in your stomach.

What was Seongwu doing here?

You thought you could get away by feigning ignorance, pretending you hadn’t seen him. But you didn’t react fast enough. Before you could turn away, your eyes locked with his. Instead of walking away as you had hoped, you felt yourself being drawn towards him. It was a bit uncomfortable, but you were the first to speak. “Why are you here?” you asked plainly.

“You stopped by the station earlier to drop off my phone,” he replied, not answering your question.

You let out a soft sigh. “Look, I knew you wouldn’t have time to run home and get it. I figured you would need it during the day. I was just being considerate, it’s not a big deal,” your murmured, feeling a pain building up in your chest, all but replacing that earlier feeling. It didn’t feel right to be face to face with Seongwu so soon. You were still a bit troubled, and you didn’t want this to end badly.

“But you didn’t have to,” he answered.

Honestly, you were having a hard time reading Seongwu. Usually, it was simple to tell how he was feeling, but when he was in a bit of a mood, none of the usual rules applied anymore. It also didn’t help that you weren’t level-headed either at the moment. “Well, if it bothers you this much, if I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have stopped by.” With a light sigh, your eyes looked down at the clock on your phone. “Look, I got a bit distracted by work, so I haven’t had the time to get all of my things from the apartment yet. If you want to just hang out at the dorm for a while, I should be out of your hair in the next hour or so. Then you won’t have to deal with me anymore.”

After saying your piece, you were about to turn and take your leave, get out of the situation that was making your heart feel strange. Yet, before you could, Seongwu slipped your hand into his, stopping you in your tracks. Everything in your told you to pull your hand away, to keep walking and not look back. But you couldn’t. You just couldn’t do it.

“What do you want, Seongwu,” you said out of frustration. You hated this situation. Your heart felt like it was in so much pain. It longed for him, but every time it did your brain kept reminding it of what he said earlier. You were beyond emotional and being in his presence wasn’t helping.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. They were simple words, but they were also words you hadn’t been expecting from him. You froze as soon as he spoke them.

“P-pardon?”

“I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have told you to leave. I don’t want you to leave. I’m just an idiot for getting mad at something so dumb. Things have been hard lately, stressful with all the schedules, recordings, and practice, but I shouldn’t have taken that out on you. I should help around the house,” he admitted. Seongwu had a whole speech planned on his way over to your workplace. He had thought of everything he wanted to say, but now that he was in front of you, none of it came out as planned. He just said the first things on his mind, but they were honest. He meant them.

“I shouldn’t have blown up at you, that was wrong and stupid of me. So, please don’t leave me. I don’t know what I’ll do without you…”

You were left speechless again though you couldn’t help but feel a weight being lifted from your heart. Sure, you were still simmering over what had happened today, but hearing that he didn’t want you to leave was so relieving. You had wanted to work it out and maybe you would finally get your chance to. Seongwu wasn’t perfect, and neither were you. Though he would get angry and it was sometimes misplaced, the fact that he was aware of it made him a better person. The two of you could work it out. It would take time and patience, but you could make it work. After all, no one said living together would be easy.

“Just promise me you won’t say something like that again, okay?” you told him softly.

“I won’t,” he replied, gently giving your hand a squeeze.

“And please tell me when you’re having a hard time so I don’t get mad at you over something like not putting your clothes away. You come first to me, Seongwu,” you urged.

“I promise I’ll do better.” Throwing caution to the wind, he gently pulled you towards him and into a hug. You buried your face into his chest as he held you tight. Jisung was right. He was an idiot, but he would change if it meant he could keep you close…