For the first time in many months, it’s raining outside. Summer dwindled around the corner and  slowly, the winter season crept in. The pitter patter of raindrops painted the dry ground. The sky turned dark and eventually the streets of Seoul became deserted. The usual busy road was long gone in no time. The one thing all foreigners agree with is that Koreans hate the rain, they will do anything just to avoid it.

Walking on the damp road, I made my way to Gangdong district. Phone on my left hand and umbrella on the other. I took careful steps, at the same time looking at the map displayed on my phone. Just another block away. Knowing where I’m headed, I slowly slip my phone on my coat pocket making sure it was safe and dry. I adjusted my heavy backpack and gained pace.

Momentarily, my feet stopped, I moved my umbrella away from my view. revealing a tall building. My eyes trailed upwards the never ending tower. I sighed and made my way inside. The guard greeted me with a smile, and led me inside. I thanked him and closed my umbrella, placing it on the rack near the entrance. Two secretaries welcomed me in the front desk, again with a bow I greeted them. I’m not really a smiley-kind of person. “Do you have an appointment, miss?” she asked, looking up to me and to her computer. I nodded. “With whom?”

“Um, a certain Mr. Kim Jae Hoon.” my korean was a bit poor but she understood and told me to wait. Her hand reached out for the phone. My eyes scanned the place, wow. This is such a nice building. It looks new and fresh. My attention was caught by the call of the secretary, “He’ll be seeing you now, miss---” her voice trailed off, clearly waiting for me to say my name. I rummaged for my I.D. inside my coat and lend it to her. She took it with two hands and typed in my information on her computer.

Tapping my hand on my sides, I waited impatiently. I’m not really a people person, but because of my line of work I have to it up and work with others. I looked over the secretary who was clearly having a hard time typing in my name because it was long and is in English. Upon clearing my throat she looked at me and apologized, “I can do it” she bowed again and apologized, removing herself from the chair. I circled around the desk, not bothering to sit down. After typing in my contact information, I went back in front of the desk with my I.D. clutched on my hand. “Sorry again. He’s on the 11th floor, the elevator is just up ahead. Thank you.” she bowed again and moved her hand to the direction I should be going.

The elevator doors opened, revealing a few employees who got off. They were loud. I stepped aside, giving them room to walk out and entered the elevator alone. As the doors slowly secured shut, I heaved a deep sigh. “I should’ve picked a different career.. This job is energy-draining.” I was rambling, almost forgetting to press the 11th floor button. The trip was short, seems like no one else was going up.

A ‘ding’ indicated that I have arrived. I waited for the doors to open and went on my way. On cue, I cursed under my breath. “, I left so suddenly and didn’t even asked where the office was.” I sighed in frustration and paced to the nearest door. There’s no point in going back and asking. I can find it on my own. I checked every door, and with luck the 4th one was labeled “Production Design Office” Knocking on the glass door twice, I gradually opened the door. It was an average sized room with a few desks here and there. The scene was familiar, this is the same as my office. All cluttered and messy. Everyone was so busy, no one batted an eye in my direction. My head scanned the room, I just stood there. Not really wanting to talk to anyone, but the thought of losing my job pushed me to walk towards the nearest person. “Excuse me,” the guy looked at me at once. Eyes widening, he stood up and bowed. “I’m sorry! I didn’t hear your knock!!” still bowing, he apologized loudly, gaining the attention of everyone else. They all apologized in unison and went back to work. Okay? He straightened his posture, I bowed reassuring him it was fine. He gave me a toothy grin and asked me to sit down.

“You’re here for Mr. Jae Hoon, right?” with a flirty grin he asked. Trying my best not to gag, I nodded my head. His smile faltered with the cold response he received. His eyes moved to the screen of his computer, typing in some stuff. “JAE!! THE ARTIST IT HERE!!!” I recoiled a little with his sudden shout. Looking around the room, no one seemed to mind.

A tall, fit guy made his way through the clutter of people and work. He adjusted his glasses and greeted me with a bow before ushering me towards a meeting room. As soon as he closed the glass door, the noise from outside was muffled. Waiting for him to sit down, I made my way around the small table. “O-oh, please sit down.” scratching his head, he awkwardly gestured me to sit down. Before doing so, I placed my laptop in my bag. He sat down beside me.

“Your company told us you have a hard time speaking Korean as of now,” he smiled. I nodded and rummaged through my bag. I pulled out my laptop and signalled him to continue. “O-oh.. so are we starting now? Can you understand?” after inputting my password, I faced him. “I’ll try my best.” he chuckled, giving him a puzzled look, he looked at me and spoke in English.

“They asked me to entertain you because I’m the only one who can speak English here,” his pronunciation was on point and his voice sounded sincere. I almost broke out a smile. “Ah.” that was all I can say. He smiled and asked me to proceed. An hour went by as I was presenting the illustrations and rough sketches to him, a girl went in and gave us coffee. Feeling a little bad, I still spoke up and told her I don’t drink coffee. She was taken aback, gaining composure she apologized and told me she’ll get a different drink. With her insisting tone, I cannot argue. She left and we continued with the work.

“So, the animation---Thank you Junhee---as I was saying the animation will be finished by the end of this month?” talking on a more serious tone, he stopped mid-sentence to thank the girl who gave us coffee and went back to the topic. I nodded. “The rough animation will be finished by the end of this month. But the final output would probably take 2 or 3 months.” his eyebrows furrowed. “That long?” he paused for a while. Not knowing what to say, I cleared my throat and explained. “Yes, since I work alone.” his tired eyes found mine. I didn’t break eye contact. “What do you mean? Aren’t you in a team?” he leaned back his chair, arms crossing against his stomach as he did so. Again, I nodded.

He hummed, continuing to scan me with his eyes. I shifted around my seat, i really don’t like when people observe me. It’s frustrating. “Let me get this straight--” one more time he adjusted his position, now elbows against his knees as he leaned forward. “You work at K*S as one of their resident graphic designer and illustrator, but you prefer to work alone rather than work with a couple more artists?” his interrogation was spot on. I nodded again, trying to prove a point. He chuckled. I gave him a puzzled look, “Huh, you’re a weird one.” after a while his chuckle subsided and the stood up. Looking down on me, he gave me a smile and held out his right hand. I stood up and shook it. “Okay, Ms. Yanaihara. We will give you a month for the draft. And then we talk about the final output once it’s finished, okay?”

“Yes, Sir.” his hand went back to his side and I began packing my stuff. “I’ll leave you here for a while, and when you’re done packing. Meet me outside the office, okay?” I faced him again and gave a bow as a response. He smiled and trailed off. As the door closed shut, I slumped onto the chair. Man, we talked for almost 3 hours. He’s one intricate person, he may not look like it but he was dedicated to his job. That made me want to work harder on this project.

As I stepped out the meeting room, the same derangement of the office greeted me. With a bow, I thanked the guy who entertained me earlier. He gave me a thumbs up and a smile. I walked out the room and saw Jae Hoon. I bowed at him. He asked me if I was all set, I nodded. He led us to the elevator, pressing the number 4 as the metal doors closed.

I have no idea where we’re headed.

“Oh, we’re gonna meet the people you’re gonna be animating.” he found the confusion in my face and answered my unasked question. “Ah.” the project brief was all about animating a certain group for the fans to see. It sort of like a gift to them. The company said they would just send me the video of them dancing. I agreed since it was so much better than meeting them in person. But, here I am… headed towards the subjects.

We stopped in front of a huge picture of Michael Jackson pasted on the wall, huh. This is one artistic company. He turned around, facing me. “Fair warning, these boys can be really loud and well---” he scratched his nape and laughed. “They get shy all of a sudden so, I hope you understand.” I nodded. Ugh, this is gonna be a burden again. I hate meeting new people, especially when if they’re A LOT. Suddenly he turned around again and faced me. “How old are you?” a bit flustered by the sudden personal question, I gaped at him before composing myself and responding. “I’m 20.” his eyes widened. “You’re only 20!?” his mouth was now agape. I nodded. “Yes, I was born on 1999.” he gasped again.

“You look mature for your age, you even act mature.” not really knowing how to respond to his statement, I just said thanks, awkwardly. He smiled. “That’s a good thing, these boys are around your age---how are you 20 and working already, are you even a college graduate?” I felt a bit offended by him questioning my credentials, but I get where he was coming from. I graduated University at a very early age. “Yes, I graduated last September.” again he was surprised, he kept on rambling about how am I so good at my job with only just being here for 2 months. I just responded in short words. Tapping my feet impatiently against the marble floor. He finished ranting and is now about to open the door.

I don’t want to admit it but I was nervous, this happens when I’m about to see a lot of unfamiliar faces. The familiar loud music echoed around the room. With a glance, I noticed it was a dance practice room. Mirrors fogged up with sweat. “Boys.” covered by his big physique, I continued to hide behind him. Upon hearing his voice, the music stopped abruptly and I could hear pants and gasps. “Hello, Sir!” the loud unison of voices drummed against my ear. Oh crap, that’s a lot of boys right there. I moved aside, showing myself. My straight face unfazed by the familiar faces in front me. All of their eyes moved towards me, “This,” with a swift move they all looked at him. But one particular person continued to eye me from time to time. “Is the artist, who is gonna be making your promotional animation for the fans.” he continued to explain why I was there. “Jeongin-ah, pay attention please.” the one person who was unconsciously looking at me, bowed his head and apologized. One of the members patted his back. “Okay, so is everything clear now?” they all shouted again in unison. I flinched a bit but my stoic face remained the same.

“So, maybe let’s start by cleaning up a bit? This place… has a manly smell.” he chuckled. I could agree with that. And with the amount of sweat on the mirrors and the members, i could tell they were here for a while now. They’re flustered faces made me smile a bit. They panicked and raced around the room. I spoke up, catching both the attention of the 9 members and Jae Hoon. “It’s cool, I’m okay with it. Let’s just get it over with.” Jae Hoon smiled at me, “Okay, nevermind.”

“But, Sir---”

“It’s fine. I have 4 brothers. I’m used to this smell, no worries.” I cut off one of them. He looked at me with a flustered face, our eyes met and he broke the contact within seconds. I moved towards them. “I guess I’ll be heading out. Are you okay walking out yourself, Ms. Yanaihara?” I faced him and nodded. He smiled, and bid me plus the boys goodbye. The members shouted again.

Door creaked closed, and I was alone in this room with 9 recognizable faces. There was an awkward amount of silence before I spoke up. “So, for now, I’m gonna be making character designs of yourself.” we all stood there, 9 pair of eyes glued to mine. “Um, can we sit down first?”

“O-oh. But the floor is a bit dirty---”

“It’s cool.” I shrugged and proceeded to sit down the wooden floor. All of them hesitated for a bit but eventually one by one they all sat down. I pulled out an A4 sized sketchbook from my backpack, flipping through the already crowded pages.

“Okay--” I looked up and all of them were still looking at me. I sighed. “Sorry, about my Korean. It’s not my first language--” two of the members looked at each other eagerly and then back at me. Yes, I know you both speak English.With the familiar heavy atmosphere, I my dry lips and spoke. “Let’s talk about the elephant in the room since that’s what you all notice,” all nine of them were taken aback, denials here and there. I held up my hand to shush then.

“It’s fine.” I looked at Jeongin. Our eyes met and his gaze faltered. I brought up my finger to my cheeks, pointing on each eye. “I have heterochromia, which means I have different colored eyes. They change colors from time to time also.” they all nodded in awe. I brought my hand back down and continued to flip through my sketchbook until a blank canvas appears. Okay, it’s time to explain. I really hate this.

“First off, what kind of style do you guys want? You can talk about it as a group.” they all murmured and talked to each other. My head scanned the whole room. This place, I have seen it a hundred times before. This same place where I laughed and got all excited about. Not in person, just through the screen of my computer. My eyes landed on the foggy part of the mirrors, there were doodles. I smiled at the sight. They still do it.

One particular writing piqued my interest. “You make Stray Kids Stay, wow.. I miss that.” unaware I said that aloud. The room went quiet. I looked at each one of them taking in all the familiar features I have yearned to see in person, I can’t help but give a genuine smile. “You guys really did became the next big thing.”

About a year ago, I have encountered the most amazing group. They were 9 dorks who are very talented. They produced their own music, write their own lyrics and even make their own choreography at such a young age. Seeing those smiles and laughter for about a year, I have learned to love them. I don’t like them just because of their visuals or just because they’re famous.

I fell in love with each one of them. I fell in love with their music the most. They made wonderful, encouraging music that helped not only me, but a lot of fans out there who struggled in life.

“You’re a fan?” Bangchan’s voice echoed inside my head. My heart beated faster but I remained calm and smiled at him. “I was.” I closed my eyes and sighed with a smile, remembering all the memories I had with them through the small screen of my laptop and phone. “Alright. Let’s start?”

For the next 30 minutes, they tried their best to explain what they wanted. Chan and Felix also translated a few words I didn’t know. I wrote down all the concepts they wanted to try and told them to eliminate a few things they don’t like. Handing over my sketchbook, they all huddled in a small pile and talked amongst each other. My eyes looked at each one of them dearly. I was a fan, but I lost track with them after entering my last term in University. And well, I just completely forgotten about them.

After deliberating for a while, they handed me back the sketchpad and told the final concept they wanted. I nodded and started sketching. They waited. Glancing at everyone. “Minho oppa, can you stand up?” he pointed at himself. I nodded and stood up first. He followed and awkwardly stood in the middle. “Just stay still, don’t---” I gripped his awkward shoulders. “Don’t tense up. Do it comfortably.” he nodded and loosened up. I picked up my sketchbook and pen and started drawing a him in different angles. The rest of the members stayed quiet beside us, gingerly observing me walking around Minho.

“Oh, my distinct features---” I stopped him mid sentence. “No need,” I gave him a smile, he blushed. “I know what they are.” and again the room went quiet. Only the scribbles of my pencil against the paper was heard. “You’re eyelashes are really long, and your nose shape is perfect.” my compliment made him blush more. The boys behind me started to . We finished up after 2 hours. Each of the members getting more comfortable around me. This was actually the first time I talked a lot.

“Can you smile for me Jeongin?” he did, I smiled and closed my sketchbook. His puzzled look made all of us burst into laughter. “I just wanted to see your smile. It’s really different without the braces but, you’re still adorable.” he made an inaudible sound and went straight into Hyunjin’s arms. I chuckled.

I handed them the sketchbook so they could check the designs. They all gathered standing up. Exclamations here and there. I smiled and began packing the rest of my stuff. I sat down near the side, resting my back and head against the mirror. On the contrary of not liking being observed, I really like observing other people. Memorizing how they laugh, how they move their hands and all their mannerisms.

While the others scanned through my drawings, Bangchan approached me. I smiled at him, which earned me a smile in return. He plopped down beside me, shoulders touching. We remained there, watching s laugh and have fun.

“You’re one lucky guy, Chris.” I said in English, the sudden name attack made his head snap towards me. I shifted my head to look at him, he turned red and hid his face on his hands. “What?” I chuckled. He whined and removed his hands before looking at me. “I’m not used to people calling me Chris.”

“But you are Chris, right?” he shuddered at the words. He bit his lips. “…” a curse left his mouth. I chuckled and punched his shoulder jokingly. The others started to notice us, so I stood up. But before leaving his side I said, “Am I not your baby girl? Christopher Bang.” winking at him, I went to the others and received back my sketchpad. Noticing Chan’s gaze burning in my back