Water splashed around Jinyoung as he stepped into a puddle. Some of it might seeped through jeans and shoes, but it didn't matter anymore since he was already drenched from head to toe. Even his socks were completely soaked. He couldn't even run too fast since he was barely able to open his eyes, trying to shield them from the rain. By the time he gave up reaching the bus stop and taking shelter in front of a closed store instead, he was dripping like leaking water pipe and shaking like a newborn deer.

As he rubbed his arms, trying to warm up a little but to no avail, he regretted refusing the umbrella he was offered by the mother of his student. He never thought that the drizzle would become a downpour no more than fifteen steps from the house, and to turn back would be embarrassing. However after what seemed like forever yet only thirty minutes in reality the rain still showed no sign of letting up, he started thinking that maybe being embarrassed wasn't that bad. Tired and freezing, he bent his knees and hugged them in another attempt for warmth.

Just as he weighed his options between breaking through the rain or calling a cab and say hello to instant ramyeon for the rest of the month, a faint singing caught his attention. It got louder and louder as the source closed in until he recognized the voice. The song wasn't whole, it didn't even sound like a singing. It would stop, pondering over the words to use, and continue only to stop again. Seemed like the singer was actually making lyric for the song. He didn't know all the lyrics, but it connected to rain. It was one of the rare moments he was interested in what goes on inside someone's mind that without realizing, he ended up forgetting about going home and listened instead. He almost cursed himself when he failed to held back his sneeze, making that person noticed him and stopped thinking about the song.

"Um, hi," he smiled awkwardly while he stood up, which Jaebum answered with a nod. It was the first time they met after he took the cat, so he didn't know what the other thought about him. Jaebum didn't seem to think ill of him though, so maybe he wasn't mad at him anymore.

"Why are you here?" The fact that he was holding an umbrella didn't seem to bother him as he moved his hands easily, and Jinyoung found it fascinating.

"Going home from tutoring, and got trapped in the rain," he sighed, "what about you?"

"My studio is nearby."

He wanted to say something, but what came out was a sneeze again. "Uh, sorry," he sniffled.

"Wanna drop by? You have to change before you got sick."

He didn't need to think twice before agreeing. It was bitterly cold out there with wet clothes, and he still had classes and tutoring the next day. He also couldn't deny that part of him was curious about the place where the songs he had been hearing was made. So he got under the black umbrella and followed Jaebum's lead, heart thumping with excitement. He realized maybe he finally understood the feeling of a fan wanting to know more of their idol and silently apologized to all the fans in the world for ever scoffing at them.

Like Jaebum said, the studio was close, so much closer than he thought. It was in the basement five buildings from where they met. It felt like he entered a whole new world. There was some equipment surrounding a computer he didn't knew the use of, having only saw them for the first time. There was also a small kitchen and a long, black sofa with pillow and neatly folded blanket. He was handed over a black hoodie, blue sweatpants, and a brown towel, and told to take a shower. So he did.

The warm shower was truly a bliss. He finally stopped shivering, and he felt alive again. His wet underwear was uncomfortable, but bearable after he wrung it out. When he exited the bathroom, he was welcomed by the smell of cocoa. Jaebum, who was sitting on a rolling chair, gestured to a pair of mug on the desk beside him. Jinyoung took one and brought it over to the sofa.

The sweetness puffed into his nose as he brought the mug closer and spread through his tongue along with the warmth streaming down his stomach and leaking into his whole body. He watched Jaebum writing on a small notebook, putting the lyrics he was mulling over before on paper. Jinyoung noticed that he did it with his left hand, which surprised him a little since he rarely saw a leftie. He leant back and closed his eyes, enjoying the coherent form of the song. He found that he liked it the best among all Jaebum's songs he had heard.

He felt something digging his back, and he opened his eyes to find a book squeezed between the backrest and the seat. He pulled it out. Printed on the cover with big capital letters was the title of the book, Blue Mind. Many of its pages were dog-eared, and there were sentences highlighted in blue. He wondered if blue was Jaebum's favorite color.

Jinyoung looked up as the song stopped. Noticing him holding the book, Jaebum asked whether he liked book, to which he admitted. He mostly read fiction though, so he never read something like that book. Nonfiction mostly consisted of people's thought, and he had enough of them.

“You should try reading it, it’s a good book.”

Jinyoung agreed to do it someday, happy that Jaebum had eased up to him enough to start light conversation with him and share the things he liked. He hoped it meant that Jaebum had forgiven him even just a little bit.

“Thanks for sending me those photos,” Jaebum signaled. He indeed sent him photos of the kitten from time to time, though he never gotten any reply. Seemed like he rarely checked his messages, because usually the photos would only be seen one or two days later, sometimes more. He understood because he was also like that, knowing he had no acquaintance close enough to reach for him outside of work and college related messages. Jaebum might have different reason though.

“No problem, just thought you might be worried. You should stop by sometimes, the kitten would be happy to see you.”

Jaebum neither refused nor agreed, only kept staring at him instead. He kept listening to find the other trying to figure out what kind of person he was. He knew if he wanted Jaebum to stop being suspicious to him, he needed to be honest. However, sharing what he truly thought was something he never did before, having to keep it all inside along with his secret all along. Yet somehow he really didn’t want Jaebum to hate him, so he decided to do it anyway.

“You know, I’ve been wanting to apologize to you since before, but I never did it. I know it may sound like an excuse, but I don’t want to say sorry so easily and ended up making you feel bad.”

Jaebum didn’t respond, but he knew he was listening and waiting for him to continue, so he did. “Sorry is a... convenient word. Saying sorry after hurting someone not reflecting on whether that person is already fine or not, is selfish. It would only be a way to ease the doer’s guilt. Sometimes forgiveness is given not because they’re alright with it, but from the feeling that they would be a bad person if they don’t give it. It’s not that they’re insincere, just that the wound isn’t given enough time to disappear. And if after the forgiveness is out they still feel bitter about it, they would be the one feeling bad that it will take longer to heal. I don’t want that to happen to you, that’s why.”

Jaebum nodded, understanding what he meant and to his surprise, chuckled. “Why do you have to be so complicated? Does it never cross your mind that the other might find it hard to forgive you because you never apologize and get angrier instead?”

He blushed because he was right. He thought that way because he only heard what someone felt and thought at the moment, not what they were feeling all along. It also showed how lacking he was in socializing, and it was embarrassing that it was made known of.

"Alright, why don't you try apologizing now?"

Feeling like a kid being taught what to do, he followed. "I'm sorry," he said. Jaebum replied with a nod, a gentle smile softened his features, implying that he was truly forgiven. He knew Jaebum was still curious over why he said it back then, but he was glad it wasn't asked because he didn't know what to answer. Maybe it was his way to keep the truce, and he appreciated it. He drank the rest of the cocoa and put the mug down.

"I think I need to go home now if I don't want to miss the last bus," he said as he stood up, taking his bag with him. Jaebum told him to take the umbrella since he was going to spend all night there, which he accepted gratefully. He wouldn't want to make a second mistake. He bid his goodbye to his savior before embarking into the rainy night, humming his newest favorite song over and over again until he got home. And when he did, instead of going straight to bed, he opened his laptop, searching for sign language lessons. He knew that what someone said wasn't always what he thought, and it would be dangerous for him if Jaebum did too. Although it hadn't occur so far, he still better be careful. He wouldn't want a second mistake, right?

He knew though, that he was already making mistakes. From the moment he brought that music book to Jaebum, to that night. He was making connection with Jaebum, something he should have avoided. And although their meetings had been coincidental, he was always the one who reached out to Jaebum. However, he couldn't tell himself to stop. Somehow he was drawn to Jaebum, unconsciously wanting to get close to him, trying hard not to get hated. Maybe because he regard him as his idol? He wasn't sure. What he did understood very well was, the only thing he could do was doing his best to hide his secret, and everything would be fine.

It would be, right?

_____________________________________

P. S.:

Sorry, it's taking me so long to update TT I had to change the plot and rewrite it multiple times before it clicked for me. So excited for GOT7's upcoming comeback >< I think it's a similar concept as Look from the colors and style they use. And He's Psychometric is great! I like that I didn't expect the ending at all until the hint was blatantly given in the middle, and even then I was kept on my toes whether it was truly right or not until the end. And Lee Ahn at the beginning was an exact imitation of Yugyeom lol, especially when he whined in the cell. Also couldn't wait for Bambam and Mark's episode on Mafia Game! Mark is showing his schemer side already in the teaser lol. Wish Jinyoung would be there too, he would be perfect for this game :D

Anyway, I'm so happy that I'm finally back with a new chapter. As you might guess already, the song meant in this chapter is the song JB made for Hyena on the Keyboard, Rainy. I really like that song and the one made by the legendary rockers, but unfortunately the only one available in Spotify is Loco and Hwasa's TT Hope you'll like this chapter, I'll be back again ^^