"Even if the whole world forgets, I'll still be here, like a small moon."

- WayV, Nectar

The banner for Youngho’s farewell party in the office hung morosely over the buffet table that was haphazardly filled with food and desserts and a huge drinks dispenser that was empty save the ice cubes.

He was the life of the office, a comedian with natural talent that he put to good use in the admittedly droll inspection company that was tasked with doing site inspections of roads. If anything, without him, I would have continued to live my life as in love with my job as a father was in love with house chores.

What now, that he was finally leaving to pursue his career paths elsewhere? Who would bring that vibrance to the droll office, with its vomit yellow walls, and its antisocial cubicles that did nothing to protect one’s secret gaming habits, or to keep nosy colleagues out?

Who would set ablaze the butterflies in my stomach now that he was to no longer grace these carpeted floors?

Definitely not the rest of these childish es, I thought, glancing at my colleagues Jaemin and Haechan who were laughing wildly at some inside joke. They had trussed poor Jungwoo in ribbons, and the latter was pathetically whining from being tied to his computer chair because he was desperately in need of a smoke break.

I sighed, watching him squirm while the two fully grown adults howled even louder. This is going to be torture.

“Alright, alright, listen up!” our department manager, Taeyong said loudly, “Due to the fact that none of you are going back to your work because of this highly distracting buffet table, I am going to bring it into the break room. I’m going to need some volunteers, please!”

Suddenly people began to drift back to their cubicles.

So much for kumbaya, I thought to myself, finishing the rest of my fruit punch. “I’ll do it,” I sighed.

Taeyong’s face brightened in relief. “Yes, Chaeryung, thank you! Here, I’ll take the heavier things, I’ll just need you to bring the food trays onto the table in the break room.”

“Sure.”

Just then a figure appeared beside me, throwing a hand over my shoulder and almost making my spit out my drink in shock.

“It’s okay, Boss. The two of us can do it, no sweat.”

I stared at the hand so casually hanging around me. This is not a drill. Youngho - the office’s biggest charmer - is actually touching me. “Sure,” I said with a grin, gently extricating myself from him, “Come on. I don’t want to stay overtime for this. No offense, Boss. I know how much you like to be first in and last out.”

My manager deflated a little bit. “I’ll leave you two to it, then,” he said with another one of his tired sighs, and walked back to his office, helping Jungwoo out of his misery as he did so.

I grabbed the trays of cold food. “When do you start at your new job?”

Youngho lifted the large water dispenser with one hand and trailed behind me towards the break room. “Next week. I have my own office and everything ready, and I met with my new colleagues two days ago,” he quipped, “Out of the pot and into the fire, as they say.”

“Life is but a journey of moving from place to place,” I mused, as we went back to take more things, “Remember whenever the higher-ups used to come down here and give us pep talks to motivate us?”

“More trouble than it’s worth,” he replied, “Especially with you being especially snarky whenever they start with the We are Family .”

I shuddered. “Such good memories that you should hold onto when you’re no longer here,” I pretended to wipe a tear from my eye, as he watched me in amusement.

“You could come with, you know. They’re looking to find a new admin executive.”

“And allow these dorks to suffer? No, you know I can’t let anyone else suffer the way I did.”

I turned back to my task before he could catch me melting at the way he smiled.

Youngho had always been, well, Youngho.

He had entered the workforce about a couple of months before I did, and climbed up the ranks to be an extremely good public relations executive that was as possible with the demanding clients that often came with the job.

He was charming, and he knew how to use it; I lose count how many times he told me how criminal it was that I didn’t have a boyfriend, or how bright my dress was that he couldn’t see anything else, or all the random times he would pass my cubicle just to rile me up with another one of his cheeky comments. I never returned in kind, especially because I knew it would only encourage him even more, and I didn’t need to complicate matters more.

I had tried to rationalize the fact that I even was into him because of his easygoing nature - and also for the fact that our colleagues paled in comparison; if anything, they had the looks but not the brains to go with it.

Except, maybe our technical support manager Ten, but then again, he was definitely not into women, with the way he flirted with anything that was male.

Youngho was tall, funny, hardworking, popular with everyone, and smart: who wouldn’t have a little bit of a crush?

Or at least that was what I tried to tell myself for the past five years since I joined the company.

And even now, as we stood across each other after transferring everything to the break room, I tried to reconcile that maybe, in time, this delusion of me being in love with him would pass too.

I’d find another guy to fixate on and it would all be alright in the end.

I reached for a creampuff and bit into it absentmindedly, wondering which poor unfortunate soul would replace Johnny, who was rattling on about how delicious Yuta’s brownies tasted, letting out exaggerated reactions every time he bit into them.

I chuckled faintly, hating how stupid he looked, and how stupider it felt to want to confess to him right there and then.

The sound of the door closing behind us interrupted the easy silence.

“Let me open it, the door stopper never works,” I said.

“Nah,” Youngho said, stopping me, “It’s going to shut itself again anyways. Besides, are you going back to your desk already?”

I shrugged. “What would you have me do, sit out here and pig out on the desserts?”

He gave me a devilish smile. “You know you want to,” he taunted, holding out a little brownie, “Indulge me.”

I reached for it, and he shook his head, insisting on feeding me.

“Fine,” I muttered, opening my mouth as he tossed it up in the air.

As expected, it landed on my face, breaking into little chunks as it bounced off - and into - my nose and onto my dress.

I snorted, before breaking into a fit of sneezing.

Youngho howled with laughter. “Oh my god, I am so sorry!” he cried, coming around the table as I brushed it off me, “Chaeryung, are you okay- oh, man, your face is red as hell.”

I shoved him back. “You idiot,” I said, glowering at him, “You almost made me breathe that thing like !”

He tapped a finger against his chin in thought. “You know what is like?”

I burst out laughing. “Oh, please!” I protested, “Don’t even pretend we didn’t do any illegal when we went for the Thailand retreat last year.”

Youngho grinned sheepishly, his eyes looking down. “Oh , it’s in your hair.”

“Can’t you see I’m trying to take it out?”

He grabbed some napkins. “Don’t move,” he instructed, “Look up.”

I gave him a look. “If you’re going to put even more, Youngho, I swear you won’t live to start at your new job next week.”

“I’m trying to help!” he said, laughing.

“Only because my hair is short, and I can’t see it,” I muttered.

“Yes, maám,” he murmured, his words warm against the skin of my throat.

I held my breath, not expecting him to be this close as he wiped the fudge on my hair. “Are you done?” I asked, sounding half-strangled.

I glanced at the break room windows, grateful that the blinds were down.

Youngho stood up, holding up the napkin with chocolate on it. “Done!”

I felt my hair for any bits of cake, satisfied when I didn’t find anything. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

I tucked my hair behind my ear. “What?”

“You know what they said about the ‘no office relations’ rule?”

I scoffed. “That joke of a rule? What about it?”

“Well, technically my last day here was yesterday, so that means I’m no longer an employee, right?” he asked, throwing the napkin into the wastepaper basket, missing it by almost a metre.

My eyebrows furrowed. “And?”

I had never seen Youngho so quiet. “And...you’re not seeing anybody, are you?”

“Of course not, what do you mean?” I replied, although by now, I couldn’t mistake how close he was to me.

“How did you end up making out in the break room again?”

“Ten, we’ve been over this a hundred times.”

“I just want to relive the memories, that’s all. How was it?”

Taeyong walked past, smacking his shoulder with a clear file. “As far as I know, Chaeryung’s computer doesn’t have any issues that you need to fix.”

Ten skulked away. “Yes, Boss.”

Taeyong massaged his temples. “And since you’re very free, I need you to install the new updates for the antivirus. I just got the new one,” he called after him, before turning to me, “All good, Chaeryung?”

I nodded. “All good.”

He looked like he was about to say something further, but only settled for an awkward pat on my shoulder before he went off.

I turned back to my computer with a sigh, trying to push aside the thought of Youngho’s lips on mine for the first time in the break room, when he told me how long he had wanted to kiss me.

And we did try to make it work.

But then the new company took up way too much of his time. And although I was adamant that it wouldn’t come in between us, it was just too bad that they sent him abroad and all the initial messages and video calls faded into passing as time went by.

For the rest of the day, I tried to focus on my work but every time I passed by the break room on the way to the printer, I would in a deep breath.

It was just wrong place, wrong time.