“You do know this is stupid, right?” Jongdae asks Junmyeon for around the 98^th time that afternoon.

“Yes, Kim Jongdae, I know it’s stupid.” Junmyeon takes a deep breath and straightens his shoulders resolutely. “That’s why I’m doing it.”

His bestfriend sighs. “Eh. Your funeral, then.” The heat from the hairdryer stops and Junmyeon can’t help but squirm in his seat, impatient. “Keep still,” Jongdae hisses. “I’m still styling your hair and it’s gonna be gorgeous and you’re not allowed to look until it’s perfect.”

Fingers on his scalp and a dozen brushes later and Jongdae is satisfied. “Open your eyes.”

The excitement is taken over by nerves. What if he looks ugly?

Here goes nothing, Junmyeon thinks, and opens his eyes.

“Holy .”

Jongdae bursts into a cackle. “You’re welcome,” he says with a grin.

Junmyeon is still staring at his reflection, touching his cheeks and patting his hair, just in case he was seeing things. He was just boring Junmyeon who for everyone was like an afterthought. But that guy in the mirror… he looks like someone straight out of a painting. His eyes look mysterious, but with a mischievous glint. He looks like someone who can elicit a blush with a simple smirk.

“Is…is that really… me?” he hesitantly asks.

Jongdae only hands him a paper bag as a reply. “Yes, idiot, that is you. How many times have I told you that you can actually be hot if only you’d try? Now go change into these clothes and give your hopeless love a call.”

Junmyeon takes the bag. “Thank you so much Dae, I owe you!” he says as he scrambles onto his feet.

He’d gone to Jongdae that morning, telling him about his plan. His bestfriend had been skeptical, of course. Wasn’t this just another episode of Junmyeon Whining About Sehun? But no. Junmyeon was serious this time. He, straight-laced, studious and horribly introverted Kim Junmyeon, is going to get drunk and get over his pathetic crush on Sehun.

Junmyeon has decided he will get over his one-sided love, with the help of…said one-sided love. Not the best idea, he knew. But he considers it as an ending ritual of sorts. God knows he’s had more than his fair share of heartbreak because of Sehun. He should at least help in finding a new love for Junmyeon. Right?

Nope. Not right. And definitely stupid. But Junmyeon decides he’s going to do it, anyway.

Stupid, of course, was always the magic word for Jongdae. Once he’d seen the determined look on his bestfriend’s eyes, he latched onto Junmyeon. “Hair, glasses, clothes. I love your style, of course, Junnie,” Jongdae had hastily added. “But if you’re going -hunting, you’re gonna have to change up your hair, ditch the glasses and burn the sweater vests.”

Junmyeon grips the paper bag resolutely. Tonight, he will push himself into the spotlight. And Sehun will be in the front row.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and dials. “Sehun?” he says as the call gets picked up. “Can we meet?”

It’s cold out, but the glow of the neon signs in the dark and the noise of the cars on the street fill Junmyeon with assurance as he walks. He sees Sehun standing by the pavement, just beside the club entrance. He looks exceptionally good-looking as always, and it’s really unfair that just looking at him from a distance is enough to make Junmyeon’s heart flutter. He’s ready to raise his hand to catch his friend’s attention, but Sehun’s head turns and his eyes land on him.

The stunned look on his face is enough to send waves of giddiness through Junmyeon. “H-Hyung?” he asks tentatively as the other appraoches. “What…?”

Junmyeon flashes him what he hopes to be a confident smile. He’s way out of his comfort zone today, with the alien clothing on him and the absence of the glasses that he can push up whenever he gets flustered. But Sehun does not need to know that. “Sehun!” he says. “Thanks for coming.”

Sehun is still staring. “What…” he whispers as he touches some strands of Junmyeon’s blond hair. “What’s all this?” He lowers his eyes and tries to take in his hyung’s appearance.

“I’m going out to get wasted and hopefully also get laid tonight, and you’re going to help me,” Junmyeon announces.

Sehun promptly chokes on air. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Oh Sehun,” Junmyeon says as he absently fidgets in his bomber jacket. “I’ve decided I’m going to end my tragic unrequited love, and, you know, ‘get out there’ like you always tell me to.”

“Yeah, but I meant like go to perfectly safe and friendly coffee dates or something, not get dead drunk and sleep with strangers!” Sehun says incredulously.

“So what, that's what it all leads to anyway!”

Sehun stares at his hyung. What has gotten into Junmyeon? Where has his cute, innocent, painfully timid hyung gone? “Junmyeon, are you sick?” He reaches over and places a palm on his friend’s forehead.

“I’m going,” said hyung says resolutely as he brushes Sehun’s hand away. “With you or without you. But hopefully with,” he adds with considerably less confidence.

Sehun sighs. “Fine,” he gives in. “But only coz you’re my friend and I’m not letting you die of alcohol poisoning.”

Friend. Junmyeon tries not to let the sting show. He swallows his grimace and grins instead. “Perfect. Let’s go!”

It’s so loud, Junmyeon thinks as he tries to take another gulp of his horribly bitter drink. Sehun had wanted to sit at one of the tables to the sides, but Junmyeon insisted on one near the dancefloor. Which he now sincerely regrets. The throbbing of music in his ears is going to make his head explode soon, he thinks.

“Hi!” a face suddenly invades Junmyeon’s view. The guy’s hair is flaming red, and his grin is equal parts dopey and attractive. “Are you with someone?”

Junmyeon lets out a squeak.

“Easy there, I don’t bite,” the guy says with a laugh. “Unless you want me to,” he adds in a low whisper.

“Oookay there Edward Cullen, move along.” Sehun stretches his arm in between Junmyeon and the guy like a barrier. “He’s with me.”

The guy raises his arms. “Oh sorry man, I didn’t know he was taken.”

The guy walks away, and Junmyeon smack Sehun on the arm. “What’d you do that for? He was cute!”

Sehun rolls his eyes at him. “Are you serious?” he demands. “’I don’t bite unless you want me to’? What kind of pick up line is that? Who knows what else that sicko is into. Stay away from people like him.”

Junmyeon pouts. Sehun was probably right, but still. Junmyeon had never been hit on at a bar before. He'd never been hit on before, period. It felt strangely exhilarating. Huh. Maybe the platinum blond hair and contact lenses really were necessary.

A waitress stops infront of their table and places a drink infront of Junmyeon. “It’s from that man over there,” she announces, pointing to someone a few tables away. The guy raises a hand and gives Junmyeon a small wave. Junmyeon feels himself blush and he hesitantly waves back. His other hand reaches for the drink, but Sehun snatches it away.

“No,” he says simply.

“Oh Sehun, give me that drink,” Junmyeon is smiling but his voice is murderous.

“No.”

He makes a desperate grab for it, cursing his short limbs in the process as Sehun raises the glass way above Junmyeon’s reach. “Give it!” he hisses. His hand hits the younger’s wrist, and the drink spills, soaking them both.

Junmyeon lets out a small cry of surprise as some of the cold liquid trickles down his back. “Sehun, what the hell?” he demands. He snatches napkins form the table and tries to wipe himself dry.

At least the other looked apologetic. “Look, you shouldn’t just take drinks from strangers at bars,” he explains. “Who knows if it’s roofied?”

“The waitress delivered it herself!”

“I don’t care. Always better to be safe than sorry.”

Junmyeon huffs at him. “You are unbelievable! You’ve driven away two people that were actually interested in me. What if one of them was my soulmate?”

Sehun actually laughed. “Oh, come on. You know you don’t actually believe that.”

He was right, but Junmyeon glares at him anyway.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Sehun announces as he stands. “Please promise you won’t talk to weird people while I’m gone?”

“I’m not a five-year-old.” Junmyeon says hotly. “Just go.”

The younger stands up and walks towards the bathroom, but not without looking back at Junmyeon every couple of steps. Junmyeon rolls his eyes and waves him away. The line for it must have been long, because ten minutes later and Sehun was will nowhere in sight. Bored, Junmyeon gets up and orders some drinks. He should be okay, right? He didn’t really have enough experience with alcohol so he didn’t know if he was a lightweight or not.

Three shots in, and Junmyeon is floating. The throbbing music in his ears is suddenly more welcome now, the blinding lights seemingly dulled to a comforting glow. This wasn’t so bad. He even goes to the dance floor, clumsily trying to sway his woodlike limbs to the music before bumping into someone and stumbling. He gasps and shuts his eyes, preparing for the inevitable fall, but a hand grabs his wrist and pulls him upright.

“Whoa there,” someone shouts over the loud music. Junmyeon looks up to a worried face. He tries to answer, but he finds himself getting lost in the stranger’s hazel brown eyes. It must be the alcohol he thinks as his eyes travel down to the other’s pink lips that soon curve into a smile. “You okay?”

Still quite mute, Junmyeon nods.

“You look out of it, wanna sit down for a bit?”

“Got friend—uh, table there…waiting,” Junmyeon stutters.

The stranger laughs and Junmyeon tries not to swoon at the sight. “So you have a friend who’s waiting at your table for you?” he translates.

Another nod.

“I’m Minho, by the way,” the stranger introduces himself as he pulls Junmyeon out of the dancefloor.

Junmyeon leads them to their abandoned table, which was still devoid of Sehun. Pushing down his uneasiness at talking to a stranger without a friend around, he gives Minho an awkward smile. “I’m Junmyeon,” he says.

“Hello, Junmyeon,” Minho greets and gives another one of that smile.

“H-hey…”

Minho bursts out laughing. “You don’t go to places like this that much, do you.  From the way you look, I never would have guessed.”

A flush travels up Junmyeon’s neck to his face. “Was it that obvious?”

“Hey, don’t worry!” Minho reassures him. “It’s cute. You’re cute. Although,” he pauses. “A couple of minutes ago, I would have used the words crazy smoking hot.”

Junmyeon deflates. Of course. Pretty from afar, boring up close. It was always what people said. “So they don’t apply anymore?” he says in a small voice.

“What? No, that’s not what I meant,” Minho says, waving his hands. “What I meant was that before, maybe I would have just kissed you and forgotten about you the next day, but now, I actually want to take you out on dates. Does that make sense?”

Junmyeon looks up in surprise.

“Why does that shock you so much?” Minho says with another laugh. “Have you not been called cute before?”

“I’m—I don’t usually look like this.”

“I’ve guessed that much.” Minho pauses as he fishes a phone out of his pocket. He must have received a message or something, because he soon frowns at the screen.

“Hey, it was nice meeting you but I gotta go,” he tells Junmyeon as he stands up. Junmyeon watches as he grabs a napkin and starts writing on it. “But here’s my number. Call me, okay?” he hands Junmyeon the napkin and walks away with a wink.

Junmyeon grins. “Okay!” he says, visibly relieved. He was just about to think that Minho had lost interest in him.

He looks at the napkin, and the digits scribbled on it makes him giggle. He’d actually gotten someone’s number! He looks around for Sehun. He’s gotten what he’d wanted out of this night, and he was ready to call it quits. Where was Sehun though? Junmyeon was sure he’d been gone for at least half an hour now. Was the line for the bathroom really that long?

He pockets the napkin and stands up. There seem to be more people now, and it’s hard to navigate his way. He mumbles apologies to people he bumps into, and finally makes it out of the herd of bodies. He looks around to see the sign for the bathroom, but instead he sees Sehun leaning against the wall, holding onto some guy.

Kissing.

Junmyeon’s stomach drops.

He stands there until Sehun opens his eyes and catches his. His eyes widen with panic and something else Junmyeon could not recognize. He pushes himself away from the guy. “Hyung!” he calls.

But Junmyeon’s feet are already doing the thinking for him. He tries not to let it show on his face that his heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest. He takes a step back, and another, until he finally turns around and half runs, half stumbles out of the club.

The air is much colder this time, but he hardly pays it any attention as he furiously blinks his tears away and keeps running.

What had he even hoped to accomplish, anyway? This was all so pointless. Get drunk and get laid? Who was he kidding? It was all just a ploy, a final attempt to get Sehun to see him, to actually look at him and like him back.

Junmyeon knew that Sehun was way out of his league. He was just another nerd, a literature major who spent most of his time at home with his books and hot chocolates. He was tedious, old-fashioned and forgettable—the exact opposite of Sehun.

Oh Sehun, who walked the school hallways without a word and yet captured everyone’s attention. Oh Sehun, with his stoic face but blinding smiles. Oh Sehun, whose velvety voice drew anyone within earshot. It was no wonder that he’s graced the cover of some local fashion magazines. Sehun was charisma in human form, a god in Junmyeon’s eyes. Just being associated with him was a miracle, and Junmyeon should have been satisfied with that.

But who could blame him for falling for Sehun, anyway? If people wanted to blame someone, they should blame Sehun for being so damn beautiful. Or maybe Jongdae for introducing him to Junmyeon in the first place.

It was supposed to be a one-time thing: Jongdae had come to him a year ago, asking him to help out “a friend” on an essay. Turns out that the friend he needed to help was Oh Sehun.

Junmyeon had thought of running away then, immediately intimidated by Sehun. But an hour into discussing with him, he found that Sehun was actually an adorable doofus. Contrary to his apathetic and posh image, Sehun was bad at expressing himself, was prone to biting the end of his pen when he is thinking, and was horrible at subject-verb agreement.

Nevertheless, the essay was finished on time, and Sehun invited Junmyeon for some coffee the next day as a way of saying thank you. A five-hour coffee date later and the two come out of the café as friends. Hanging out became a regular thing: studying together, sometimes even having movie marathons at Junmyeon and Jongdae’s apartment…but the times Junmyeon loved best were when he and Sehun just spent time together in silence. In those times, he would usually be reading a book, and the other scrolling lazily at his phone. They didn’t talk, nor did they feel the need to. It was just easy, comfortable silence.

Junmyeon doesn’t remember when he started liking his friend in a romantic way. But he remembers when he had realized it. It had been one of their movie marathon nights, and Sehun had fallen asleep on Junmyeon’s shoulder. His sleeping face had been so peaceful-looking. Junmyeon remembered how his hair smelled like freshly-picked apples, and how his soft breathing warmed Junmyeon’s chest. Junmyeon remembered how he’d glance accidentally at Sehun’s lips, and how they seemed to beckon him, urging him for a kiss.

That had been one stressful night.

He tried to figure it out afterwards, to rationalize it. Maybe he was just so love-deprived that he became desperate? But he wasn’t. Maybe it was a temporary thing? But it wasn’t. It got so bad that Junmyeon refused to be in the same room as Sehun for a while, scared that he might give himself away.

The ringing of his phone shakes Junmyeon out of his thoughts. He stops, his breathing jagged and harsh.

“Junmyeon, where the hell are you?” Jongdae’s voice shouts at him as he picks up the call. “Sehun just called me. He says you went out without him and he can’t find you? Says you won’t answer his calls either. What’s going on?”

“It’s never gonna happen, Dae,” Junmyeon sobs into his phone. “He’s never going to like me and I’m pathetic enough to keep hoping.”

“Junmyeon, buddy,” Jongdae sighs. “Look, tell me where you are? I’ll come pick you up.”

“I want to be alone right now.”

“Junnie, wait—“

Junmyeon ends the call and brings his hands to his face. What was he supposed to do now? Going home and enduring Jongdae’s look of pity was not an option.

“Hyung?”

Junmyeon freezes. Please, no he silently prays. He can’t see me like this.

“Hyung.” Sehun’s voice is more insistent this time. “Please look at me. Let me explain.”

“You don’t have to explain anything, Sehun,” Junmyeon mumbles from underneath his hands. “You can kiss whoever you want.”

Sehun pauses.

“Then why are you crying?”

Junmyeon does not know what makes him say it. Perhaps it was the alcohol. Perhaps it was the roller-coaster of emotions that was tonight. Or perhaps it was just the plain, utter weariness from it all. “Do I really have to spell it out for you?” he whispers with an anguished voice. “The person I like is kissing somebody else. And it hurts, Oh Sehun. It hurts so much. So please, just go.”

The anger melts away as fast as it came, and Junmyeon’s head drops, tears now spilling freely from his eyes. He was tired. He was so, so tired.

Sehun just stands there, though for whatever reason, Junmyeon could not tell. He'd basically just confessed, hasn't he? So what was taking Sehun? Surely, rejecting someone's confession was an easy thing for him? It's not like he had a shortage of experience with getting confessed to...

“He kissed me,” Sehun soon mumbles.

“What?”

“He kissed me hyung,” Sehun repeats. “I was just talking to him and then he was suddenly kissing me. I was trying to push him away when you saw us.”

Junmyeon looks up.

“I like you, hyung,” Sehun blurts out “I like you. Ever since I got to know you. Maybe even before that. Maybe since I saw you at the library two years ago with stacks of books around you, your legs folded underneath you because the table was too high. Maybe since I kept seeing you after that, like my eyes somehow always knew where you were…”

Junmyeon frowns in confusion. He could not possibly be hearing those words from Sehun right now. Was he that drunk? “Sehun…?” he breathes out, not quite a call but more of a question. Are you really…? Do you mean it?

Sehun takes it as an encouragement and steps closer to his hyung. “Why do you think I asked Jongdae, a person I have never talked to before in my life, to ask you to help me with that essay so long ago? I wasn't even failing in that class, hyung. I just wanted to get to know you. I never said anything because you didn’t seem to like me back,” he continues. “After a while you tell me that you've fallen in love with someone, and it hurt me hyung. But that was okay, I was all right with just being beside you. And then you suddenly come to me looking so damn gorgeous and ask me to watch as other guys make their move on you? What was I supposed to feel…?”

It feels like a dream. It feels too much like a dream, but Junmyeon brings his hand up anyway and touches Sehun’s cheek. “I like you too,” he whispers. “I’ve liked you for so long but I never thought you’d feel the same way because I thought…”

“You thought…?” Sehun is staring at him now, and he brings up a hand to cover Junmyeon’s, urging him to continue.

“I thought you’d never like someone like me,” Junmyeon breathes out.

“Oh god,” Sehun says, and then he’s kissing Junmyeon, both hands cupping his tear-stained face. “You’re an idiot,” he says as he breaks from the kiss. “How can you even think that? You’re amazing, hyung.” He kisses Junmyeon again. “You’re the kindest person I know.” Another kiss. “You’re the smartest person I know.” Another kiss. “You always look so beautiful, but you glow even more when you tell me about the stories you’ve read, when you laugh at your own lame jokes…”

Junmyeon is melting, and his lungs can’t seem to breathe in enough air. Sehun breaks the kiss just in time, and he looks into Junmyeon’s eyes, searching. “Is this--? Are we…?”

“Yes,” Junmyeon fills in the blanks himself. “Yes.”

A horror movie whose title Junmyeon didn’t bother to find out is playing on his laptop. Scratch that. A horror movie that Junmyeon absolutely cannot watch is playing on his laptop.

“Hyung,” Sehun whines. “You need to watch the movie. Psychology Now says that couples who watch horror movies together feel closer together!”

“Nooo,” Junmyeon protests as he hides his face deeper into Sehun’s chest. “I don’t care what Psychology Now says, Oh Sehun. They won’t be there when I get nightmares for a month!”

“Junnie!” Jongdae calls from somewhere in the apartment. “I’m doing the laundry and I found something in your pants. It’s got someone’s number on it, where do you want me to put it?”

Junmyeon stiffens. Slowly, he looks up at his boyfriend.

Sehun is not saying anything, but his wordless glare sends a shiver down Junmyeon’s spine.

“Just put it in the trash, Dae!” Junmyeon shouts back.

Sehun smirks. “That’s what I thought.”