12 steps to happiness

 

Moon Bin & Lee Dongmin (Cha Eunwoo) Park Jinwoo (Jin Jin), Park Minhyuk (Rocky), Yoon Sanha and Kim Myungjun (MJ) Author's note : I haven't correct proofs all the fic yet. Sorry about the mistakes and all. <3

 

Step 1

Today had been a long day. As usual, I went to school to meet my friends.

My mom gets me there every morning because she's afraid I'll get lost. I told her many times, I am 10 years old. I am old enough to walk to school. Some people at school said mean stuff because of it. But my mom keep driving me every day.
Anyway, at school — I've 5 long hours of class then I ran outside to meet my mom again.

One of the best thing about working in the entertainment industry is that I get to have less school than others. One of the worst is that I need to have better grades than my friends — or else my parents would be unhappy. So it means I need to study alone a lot and it's quite boring.

Anyway. After school, I went to Fantagio where I had singing and acting lessons. My teachers are nice. I come here since I'm really young. Sometimes they are means, sometimes it's boring. But my mom motivates me every day.

The teacher told me there would be a new student with me soon. See, there is other "rookie" at Fantagio. But they are all my hyungs and my noonas. Let's be honest. I am a kid, so I don't really care about drama, love and that kind of thing. Actually, I think it's really disgusting to see a couple kissing. Just thinking about it... Ewww.

Anyway, everyday I am hoping for that new friend. Will he be nice? I cross my fingers hoping he won't be mean like the bully at school. I hope he won't mind my mom driving me here every day.

Anticipation is a big word I learned recently. I think it's what I am feeling.

 

Today the bullies were really mean to me. They made me cry. They called me stupid and means words. I wanted to punch them, but they are stronger than me, and they are more than me. I hate going to school now. I wish I was only at Fantagio. At least there it was quiet.

My mom noticed something was wrong in the car but I didn't tell her why. I don't want to make her worries about me.

I opened the main door of my work building, walked down the steps to my training room as usual. I opened the door and noticed there was a lot of people and noises. I had the time to notice another boy, around my age before someone closed the door on me. We had time to look into each other eyes. He seemed shy, or afraid?

I blinked.

The boy seemed nice I think? Who was it? Was it the new person I was supposed to work with from now on? The one manager hyung told me about? He said I would need to be nice with him because he's special.

I am not sure what he meant by "special."

I looked at my watch. It was already 1:05PM. I am late for my teaching lesson but I can't go because they are in my room. I sat on the floor next to the door, sighing. I didn't mind waiting, but it also means I'll come back home later than usual.

I closed my eyes slowly, feeling tired from the last days. It took energy to act around my mom and the others. To hide how hurt I am from the bullies. I dislike lying, but I need to do it.

"Hi."

My eyes were so heavy. It was difficult to open them and look around me. Someone touched my shoulder. I frowned and moved right away. Was it the bigger bully? He liked to push me around.

I finally opened my eyes, my heart racing from what should be called fear.

My eyes met the gaze of the other kid from earlier. He was smiling at me shyly, not realizing how I was feeling.

"Hi!" He said again. I tried to breathe more casually and stood up. I bowed at him, because after all my mom always told me to be polite and nice to people.

"Hello. I am Moon Bin." I said. My voice was small. I bit my lips, feeling awkward.

"Nice to meet you Moon Bin. I am Lee Dongmin."

He showed me his hand, waiting for a shake. I did it, trying to smile.

 

 

Step 2

 

I still have dancing, singing and acting lesson alone. I thought I would see that Dongmin kid more often now because we met but no. I am still alone most of the time.

People at school stopped bullying me. Instead, they ignored me. I liked it better when they were mean. At least I had friends. Even the people I played around before started to ignore me.

It's becoming more and more difficult to keep a wall in front of my mom. The acting lesson seriously helped me but... I wish I didn't have to.

There's one exception. A guy at school. Jinwoo. He's a little bit older than me. He's nice to me. Well — nice is a big word. He talks to me at least.

I want to stay with him all the time, but it might be weird right?
 

 

I encounter Dongmin from times to times. We never have training together, but sometimes, while we wait for our lift, we play around outside. He's really nice and gentle with me. He like to goof around a lot.
He's a year older than me, so I am calling him hyung. He chuckled every time.

"Stop calling me hyung." He said one day.
"Why?" I looked at him, puzzled. Maybe he didn't want to be friends. Maybe I misunderstood him.
"I am only a year older than you. Let's just be friends."
"Friends?"
"Yeah. You can call me Dongminnie. I'll call you Binnie. Okay?"

A smile appeared on my face. He wanted to be my friend. For real!

When he left that day, he hugged me before waving at me.

"See you next time, Binnie!"
"I can't wait Dongminnie." 

The car was gone, but my smile was here to stay.

My mom told me I looked really happy that day. She was right.

 

 

Step 3

 

I knew Dongmin for a year now. We hang out a lot recently. I've met his family as I go in his house. He live in a big mansion, I wish my family was rich like his.

My mom and dad are alright of course, I am not blind. I know they work hard for our money, but we are nowhere near Donmin's family richness.

People at school still ignore me from time to time, but it seems better now that I really became friend with Jinwoo.

I would like my two friends to meet one day. I am sure they will be great friends too.

One day, Dongmin asked me to a sleep over at his house. I was exited to see my friend for more than few hours. My parents said yes after I asked over and over and over. At first, I thought they would say no because they don't really trust others. But seeing how I wanted this, they finally agreed.

I arrived at his mansion around 4PM, just early enough to play video games before we eat.

Dongmin has all the new games and consoles. I was jealous of his collection. As I was looking at it, he spoke to me while smiling.

"What do you want to play? Stop looking around and choose. I am bored."
"But you have everything. How can I chose?"

He chuckled.

"I don't have everything."
"You have more than me."
"Yeah, but you can always come here to play with me."

I looked at him with big eyes.

"Really?"

He just smiled at me, nodding.

"You are so awesome."

After a while, I chose a new fighting game on the playstation I never heard about. I was about to give it to Dongmin, so he could put it, when he signed me to do it.

A small shy smile appeared on my face. I didn't think he would trust me enough to put the game. What if I break something? I did it, slowly and carefully. Putting the disk, closing the cover of the console and walking back with 2 controllers.

I sat on a sofa, next to my friend. We played for an hour or so. I lost most game because well... He had more experience than me. It was his game after all. But I didn't mind. It was awesome.

His mom called for us, we ran in the kitchen where a table full of food wad waiting. I looked at it silently.

His mom noticed how awkward I was and came to me. She pat my hair and smiled at me.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a small voice.
"Y-yeah Ms Lee." I answered as my cheeks became warmer. She was a gorgeous woman. I was young and naive, but I knew when someone was attractive.

"You can sit next to Dongminnie. If you need anything, just let me know okay?"

I smiled at her and walked to the table. I never saw so much food in my life. Usually I would eat a bowl of rice, some fish and when I was lucky it would be pork.

If my family was okay like I thought, why didn't we eat like this every day?

I ate two big portions of everything. Ms Lee was smiling, happy her food was at my liking.

We played some more video games, then around 9AM, her mother told us to go to bed.

Dongmin has two beds in his bedrooms. Not beds on the floor — real bed. Wood. I touched at the second bed, wondering if it was really where I would sleep.

"You can sleep on the second bed if you want. My bed is big enough for both of us too if you prefer."

He smiled at me while putting his pajama. I felt my cheeks warming up. What was wrong with me again?

I chuckled.

"Why would I want to sleep in your bed?"

He just shrugged his shoulders.

"Dunno."

I put my pajama too, trying to do it quickly. It was awkward, doing this in front of my friend. He was a little older than me, meaning he was a little taller. I felt like a kid when I was next to him.

I quickly jumped on the second bed, hiding under the blanket. It was warm and comfortable. I hummed happily.

Dongmin chuckled next to me.

"Don't tell me you are tired!" He mumbled.
"What? I don't know. It's late."
"Yah, it's a sleepover. You better stay awake with me for a while. We are supposed to joke around and talk."

I looked at him, puzzled.

"What?"
"When you sleep at your friends, don't you joke for a while? Like tell jokes and be goofy and laugh your off?"

I smiled shyly. I never did that. A sleepover. It was my first time. I don't have many friends.

He seems to notice I was off, so he just smiled again.

"It's fine, I'll show you. Tell me if you are sleepy and I'll help you waking up."

We talked for what seems hours. We became quiet when we heard sounds outside the door - his mom or dad. Then chuckled because it was stressful.

"Your mom is gorgeous." I said without thinking.
"Eww." Said Dongmin, which made me laughed.

He shushed me, telling me I was too loud.

"Well, I don't really find your mom cute." He told me. I looked at him without any emotion.

"I don't think she's cute neither."

We both look at each other before laughing again.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Binnie?"

I blushed quickly, looking away. I don't have many friends, how would I have a girlfriend? Plus all the girls are kinda... Ew.

"No." I finally said. I looked at my friend, who was smiling gently.

"How 'bout you?"
"I don't know. A girl asked me out yesterday. I said I would think about it."

I looked at him, surprised.

"A girl asked you out?"

He looked at me seriously, then his face changed to a repulsing face.

"Ewww." We said at the same time, then laughed.
"Dongmin and the secretgirlll~ K-I-S-S-I-N-G-"
"Shhhhh, don't be so loud. Plus I never said I would kiss her."

He chuckled while looking away.

"She's not really cute anyway."

I sighed.

"You are so lucky Dongminnie. I wish I had girls around me."
"They are troublesome. I like it better with you."

I couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face.

"Oh!"

He looked at me, surprised.

"There's someone I want you to meet since a lot of time. Would you like to meet him?"
"Who?"
"My hyung, at school. His name is Jinwoo. He's a little older than us, but he's legit nice."
"Okay."

I looked at my friend who just accepted so easily. My heart was racing. My two best friends would meet. It was awesome. I was dreaming of that moment when we would be always three friends, playing around.

"What's special about him?"

I blinked then looked at my friend without understanding.

"I mean, I am friends with people because they have a thing I like about them. What do you see in that Jinwoo?"

I closed my eyes, thinking.

Jinwoo? He was nice. He was the only person who would talk to me when others were ignoring me. He played with me even tho I was younger than him. He smiled at me all the time. He was gorgeous, like Dongmin's mom — but he was strong. Sometimes I wish I was strong like him.

"I don't know. I just like him. Do I need a reason?"
"Not really."

I stayed silent, then a question popped into my mind.

"What's your reason?"
"Hm?"
"You said you had a reason to be friend with everybody. What's the reason you are friend with me?"

I noticed he bites his lips and looked away.

I was about to say it didn't matter, and he didn't need to day it, when he spoke softly.

"You make me happy."

My heart felt special at that moment. The same kind of feeling I had earlier that night. When his mom asked me if I was okay. The same kind of feeling I had when Jinwoo talked to me the first time. The same kind of feeling I have every time my mom hug me.

Pure joy.

I closed my eyes, feeling like I was floating. Dongmin moved in his bed.

"Binnie, are you sleeping? Don't fall asleep, it's too early."

I sighed, trying to wake up.

"Sorry. It was just too comfortable."
"You should come in my bed. You won't be able to sleep easily."
"Why would I want to sleep in your bed when this one is perfect for me?"

We both chuckled.

 

 

Step 4

 

Jinwoo and Dongmin are now best friend.
I was hoping we could become a trio of best friends but... What happened wasn't exactly what I was hoping.

After three years of friendship, things changed. We are growing up. At some point, Jinwoo changed school too, so I was left alone with the bullies.

For a while, it was quiet. Then as I was always eating alone, new bullies came back and pushed me around. I didn't know what to do, so I just ignored them.

Jinwoo asked me if it was okay at school, and as Dongmin was there I said I had made new friends and that it was fine. Dongmin never knew I had trouble with bullies before and I don't want him to know. It's better if we all forget about it.

It would be fine if the story stopped here honestly.

The thing is, I noticed Dongmin and Jinwoo becoming closer every day now. I am 14, Dongmin is 15 Jinwoo is 16. This is exactly the age where man becomes man and child are children.

I sometimes feel like I am a child next to Jinwoo. Even more when Dongmin is there, and they laugh and smile at each other.

I am not sure what is different, but I dislike it.

I feel like they meet when I am not there. I feel like I am a third wheel.

Am I jealous of their friendship? Probably.

One evening, we did a sleepover me and Dongmin. We never stopped, once every month I came to his house, and we talked about everything. Jinwoo was there sometimes. But not today — and I was quite glad.

"I think I felt in love, Binnie." He said while having closed eyes. I feel likes he's ashamed. Why?
"Oh. Okay."

Remember I told you, we were at that age where man became man and children say children?

Kissing still disgust me. Girls are not attractive.
Knowing Dongmin will kiss a girl because he liked her doesn't interest me. Ewww.

"Would you be okay with it?"
"What? Why do you even ask that."
"I want to make sure."
"I am not the person you will smooch. I don't care if you want to kiss a girl on ." I said while frowning.

He sighed.

"Right. I should have known."
"What are you implying?"
"Nothing Bin. Nothing."

He turned around, facing the wall instead of me.

Did I say something I shouldn't have? Is he mad at me? Why?

Dongmin never told me if he had a girlfriend or not. I think he had because he wasn't available like before. The weird thing is that Jinwoo also became unavailable.

Whatever.

 

 

Step 5

 

I am finally 16. I should understand love now, right?
Nope. Forget about that. I guess I am just a lost cause. I guess I'll stay alone forever.

My manager talked to me earlier today. He told me I would do an advertisement with Dongmin about a pizza or something.

I was really happy about it, this would be the first time we would work together — for real!

As he was nowhere to be found, I send him a message on his cellphone.

"Dongmnnie, where are you? Did you hear from your manager?"

He answered me after a while.

"Yes. We will finally work together. I am glad. We record tomorrow, right? See you then."

I hang out with Jinwoo that night. Dongmin and Jinwoo had a fight recently and didn't want to be together. I am not really sure what happened since they don't want to tell me. I stay quiet because I am a good friend and honestly, I don't want to be a part of it.

"How's Dongmin?" Asked Jinwoo.
"Ask him yourself. I am not telling you that. Stop doing that both of you." I grunted.
"So... He's asking about me too?"
"For ' sake. Can we talk about something else?"

Jinwoo nodded but seems sad. I closed my eyes, feeling bad — like every time this happened.

"He's doing fine, okay? Yes he asked me about you once. Why don't you talk to each other. I don't get it."
"You might never get it at this point. We were so obvious."
"What was that?" I asked while frowning.

Jinwoo sighed.

"Binnie, did you noticed something special about Dongmin?"
"He's nice?"
"No, I mean. He's almost 17 and no girlfriend."
"So am I."

He frowned at me.

"So am I. And I am 18."

I shredded my shoulder.

"I guess we are just late bloomers."

He sighed.

"Whatev