8 - Don't touch me

Delusions of Freedom

Lara had woken up halfway through their way back to the Catacombs. The car was moving fast. Her head was resting on Baekhyun’s lap. With a soft voice and a tired smile, he had asked her how she was feeling. She didn’t answer. Instead, she closed her eyes and snuggled to the heat of his body.

If she did that, she could remember the Baekhyun she loved. Baekhyun without a family name and a whole mafia empire under his command. Baekhyun with his bubbly laugh and that messy hair of his she liked to run her fingers through.

Now they were in Lara’s room. Baekhyun was cleaning the blood stains off her legs with a damp cloth. Extremely carefully, as if he thought she was a porcelain doll that would break any moment.

“Lara please,” he said, “talk to me. I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am.”

Lara stared at his busy hands in silence. He had pretty fingers. Too many things had happened that night. A disgusting old man had dared to insult Eunhee – and all the inmates too, to be fair. She had been touched in forbidden places that tore open old scars and the story had replayed right in front of her eyes. Only this time Baekhyun could have helped her in time. He just didn’t want to.

Se didn’t realize she was crying until Baekhyun wiped her tears away with his cold fingers. Lara slapped his hands away. She felt as if she was the one that had received the slap.

“I’m sorry”, he repeated. “I am so, so sorry.”

“Why did it take you so long?”

“I’m sorry”

“You’re sorry”, she scoffed. “Of course you’re ing sorry. But as you can see, Mr. Byun, an apology won’t fix things.”

“I know, I’m sor-“

“Stop saying you’re sorry!” Lara screamed. Her ribs cracked in protest and she coughed violently, inwardly groaning at the pain. Her hand was stained with blood. Baekhyun reached to help her, but, once again, she slapped his hand away.

“Don’t you dare to touch me. You have no right to touch me after what you’ve done tonight. You let them mock Eunhee, you let them call her a ! You’ve talked about us as if we were lower than , Baekhyun. Do you think you have the right to touch me?

“You are too good. Aren’t you angry for what they did to you?”

“I am. But what hurts the most is that you just stood there, watching as he touched me…”

“Lara I’m-“

“Don’t. You, of everyone, know it, Baekhyun. You know I still have nightmares, you know I’m not the same anymore. But still you let it happen.”

She sank her nails in the abused spot on her neck, tearing the gross touch of a pair of sloppy lips that had engraved their bites in the deepest crevices of her soul.

“Lara stop” Baekhyun, not wanting to see her bleed again, reached for her hand. She took a step away and shot him a glare

“I told you not to touch me. What took you so long? Why didn’t you stand for Eunhee? Why did you talk as if the inmates were just filth?

“I told you”, he muttered with his head hanging low. “I can’t be the Baekhyun you knew. I have responsibilities and I need to keep my image if I want you safe. The three of you. If I just go doing whatever I feel like we’ll be death soon.

“Ah, I forgot”, she said with mock pleasantry, “you are the great Byun Baekhyun” she had wanted to mock him, but her voice broke. She hated that cursed name. “You used Eunhee, you used Yixing and you used me just to have power. You wanted three fighters, not your friends. If they had been weak, you probably wouldn’t have spared them a glance. Because you don’t need weaklings in the Business, right?”

Lara was expecting Baekhyun to deny it and apologize yet again. But instead he kept his eyes glued to the floor and his lips firmly sealed.

“You are a ing genius Byun Baekhyun. Six years of lies. You win. You’re the boss of a ing mafia and the world’s most inhumane person.”

Baekhyun ignored the pain in the palms of his hands when he clenched his fists so hard that he cut his skin with his nails. He was standing barely two feet away from Lara and she could see him shaking in pure anger. The familiar puppy eyes that used to glimmer with warmth were now sinking in pure fury. She knew this Baekhyun. She knew he was dangerous. But she couldn’t care less.

“You don’t know what you’re saying” he said, seething

“You’re furious. I guess your short temper isn’t fake, then. You wanted me to understand the situation and accept you as the son of the man who kept us all underground in the ing hell since we can remember. But I don’t.”

“Lara”, he warned.

“What? It’s time you stop lying. But you know what? You won’t hurt me. I know you wouldn’t dare. So right now, you have no leverage over me. How does it feel to lose control of things for the first time in your life?

Lara breathed deeply. Her ribs cried with every little movement but the pain felt distant and alien. Because Baekhyun was the only person she could confront. And she felt powerful. She regained the courage she had lost all those years and looked at his burning eyes even though she was perfectly aware that he was the most dangerous version of Baekhyun.

That wasn’t the Baekhyun that she had loved so much, the one that had always taken care of her. It wasn’t the one who taught her patiently how to take down a much bigger opponent. And in those few seconds that she stared deep into his eyes, Lara tried to discover if his feelings for her had been fake too.

But Baekhyun had recovered from the blow. And once again, his walls were up. His eyes were just a black abyss emptier than the hollow laugh that show the room.

“Your problem, Lara, is that you hold yourself too high. You think you know me and that you know everything about me. But you have no idea”

Lara felt his words harder than a shot to the heart. She stumbled a few steps back for the blow until she hit the vanity. She had to clutch to the edge for dear life or she would fall. This time, she knew the pain in her chest wasn’t because of the physical bruise in her ribs. The cold pendant that burned the skin of her chest reminded her that Baekhyun was gone.

“Was this fake too?” She took his pendant from under her dress. “Everything you told me about your mother, about you… About us… Was it all a lie?”

Lara didn’t want to hear the answer. She knew she wouldn’t be able to take it if Baekhyun told her it had been indeed fake. Her heart was beating with force, as if a huge hammer was bruising her ribs. Breathing was an impossible quest.

Lara took his silence for pity. Pity for a naïve little girl who had fallen in love with a heartless monster. She swore the only sound she could hear in that moment was her own heart shattering as if it were a Chinese porcelain. She tore the pendant away form her neck and threw it to the floor harshly.

The clinking sound of the cold metal hitting the ground made something in Baekhyun snap. All the fury he was holding inside broke free and the next thing Lara knew was that her back was against the wall and Baekhyun’s body was trapping her. She didn’t know which was colder. Baekhyun held her wrists above her head, squeezing so hard it hurt. She looked at him with disgust,

“What do you think you are doing?”

Lara shivered. For some reason, his low and controlled voice rang a hell lot more of alarms than any other battle cry would have. Then came the laugh. It was a sound she had never heard before. Not soft nor tired. Simply hollow, with a tinge of madness. It was the first time Lara was positively scared of Baekhyun.

“You forget a crucial detail. I got you out of the Catacombs. You owe me your pretty little life. I can do whatever I want with you and no one would give a single .”

“Like what?” Lara held her chin high and glared at him once more, defiant. Baekhyun’s lips crashed with hers painfully. It was a kiss, but it had nothing to do with the soft caress it had been that last night in the hospital. There wasn’t love, nor care or tenderness. Baekhyun was stealing her breath mercilessly and biting her lips to his own pleasure.

At first, Lara resisted. She writhed and tried to free herself. But Baekhyun’s hands were firm on the sides of her face and his body wouldn’t budge no matter how hard she pushed. The pain in her ribs didn’t help either. Then she understood it would only make it harder and her hands fell limply to her sides. The only thing she could do was wait until it ended.

Baekhyun felt the change in Lara and stopped abruptly. When he pulled away, he noticed her hollow eyes and her wet cheeks. He tried to wipe her tears, but when Lara flinched when he raised his hand he felt her pain dawn on him.

“Why aren’t you resisting?”

“Would it change anything?”

She rubbed at her cheeks angrily and pushed Baekhyun’s chest again. This time he gave in. She moved to her closet to change her clothes, making sure not to look at him and to step on the pendant.

“” he said as realization dawned on him. “, I’m sorry Lara. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that”

Lara undressed slowly, her back to Baekhyun so he couldn’t see her crying. Baekhyun approached slowly and touched her shoulder, but she flinched away from his touch. The already unbearable pain in his chest did nothing but grow when he noticed she was biting her lips to control her sobs.

“Don’t touch me”, she whispered with her trembling voice. “Please don’t touch me”

Baekhyun looked at his hands. Lara used to say they were beautiful, with the mole in his thumb and his long fingers. He only felt disgusted by them. She was right, he was a monster who had lost humanity. Without another word, he picked the pendant on the floor and dragged his feet to the door. Before leaving, he dared to look at her. Lara’s shook with every silent sob.

“Lara”, he called. She winced. “Do you trust me?”

“I trusted Baek. But he died in the Catacombs.”



Hello everybody!

One more update. This one is back to the regular lenght. I know less than 2k words seem like it's too short, but it's actually five pages on my word document with letter size 12 so I don't think it is that short. But it's not that I decide to cut them just for lenght. I like treating one topic each chapter. Also, sorry for constantly messing with the names of the chapters! I don't really know if  should leave the name or just the number... But well, if you have any complain or suggestion let me know please!

AAAAND! I added a picture to last chapter's A/N because I forgot to post it, so go check it if you want to know how Baek looks to me in this story ;). 

Now, onto the chapter. This is actually to show the interaction between them, a little of their personalities and a sneak peak of what they hide. Lara is frail but has a strong temper. Baekhyun is impulsive and short tempered, but also a cutie that cares for Lara (he lets her sleep in his lap, cleans the blood and can't keep his hands off her). When Lara undresses, I want to show that their attraction is not purely physical. Lara is not interested in , I guess you have noticed she had a traumatic experience in her past and now she can't stand ual touches. She loves Baekhyun in a pure way because he's always cared for her.

And him... well his actions are still a mistery, right? What do you think he's hiding? Why does he act that way?

Thank you for reading down to here and sorry for the long note. Next chapter is already started so expect a soon update!

- Chan

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bjonas84 #1
Chapter 13: I loved how he turned to her as the real him. And I liked how strong the bond between them cuz they were raised together and know each other the best, and how strong their pure love and connection. I feel really bad for baekhyun cuz he's in a position which he's forced into by his bad father. And Lara the poorest beauty ughhh ..... :( can't wait for next chapter!!! Update soon brilliant author ^^ thank you
bjonas84 #2
Chapter 13: I'm so sad for baekhyun :((( I love it!!!!!!!!! Seriously like sooo much!!!!

Can't wait for next chapter of this amazing fic

Thank you dear. You're an awesome writer ^^
nugabeorinchocolate #3
Chapter 10: i just finished reading the whole thing in one sitting and it that I found about it just now. but this is sooo good the plot is so captivating and this has so much potential to be a really really great one. you deserve to get a lot of comments about it.
bjonas84 #4
Chapter 10: Aigoooo what a mysterious baekhyun! I can't predict or guess lol anyway u always keep me on the edge! Can't wait for next week!dont get long on updating pls xoxo
bjonas84 #5
Chapter 8: Wow that's how it's done!!! In those kind of genre. Am so overwhelmed by your well writing plot. Keep going and am here to support you in this brilliant story. Update soon please ^^
Chanbaek641 #6
I love these kind of stories!!!