Who You?

“Do you know why the princess challenged his father to marry her with Pabo Ondal?” he gets no answer because his clear, sweet voice has lulled the kids, most of them are half-closed eyes, Jay, who is laying on his lap, has her tiny head on his chest, shooting on her little thumb, completely under his spell, breathing at the same pace as he brushes her hair, gently, tenderly (and it is an image to memorize, as if holding his own baby, he carries her to the blankets on the ground, putting her to sleep as the majority of the rest are doing).

As always, he is awestruck by how kind he is, how the children yield to him, surrendering to the colour of his voice, warm and reassuring, tender (it is like a song, a bell ringing: it is beautiful and he can only love it the same way he loves everything about Jinwoo, wholly, entirely; he is totally fooled by him).

When Jinwoo turns around, but, Namwoo lugs his shirt and he blinks, confused, before lowering his sight back to the kid that is looking for his attention.

“Yooni-ssaem, why are you watching Juju-ssaem? Do you like him too?” he bubbles, cheerfully (his twin smiles with him and both clap his hands with joy as if discovering something hilarious).

He is thinking in a way to reply to him (he is thinking hard; he can’t lie to them so blatantly since they already noticed the way he daydreams, how he is always following him, glancing at all of his movements). He is about to explain to them that he admires Jinwoo and so he wants to learn from him but Jungwoo giggles, shouting him with his bright answer.

“Everybody likes Juju-ssaem!” he proclaims and Seungyoon is prone to agree (but he probably likes him better, much more than any of them would ever - even the girls can’t relate; this is how much he likes Jinwoo, this is how deep he has fallen into his trap net).

Jinwoo is captured again between Seoyeon and Minseo, them both hugging his arms, using them as pillows and the sun comes from the window caressing their skins and the scene is beyond lovely (Seungyoon misses his camera to catch it, to keep it forever, pretending that they are his own kids, a family portrait made of only dreams).

“But Yooni-ssaem likes him the most!” butts in Jiwoon, smiling proudly at his declamation, sitting on the covered floor (blankets are spread everywhere for them to nap, despite half of them being around Seungyoon and it seems like an emergency meeting to talk about his non-existent love life; the kids crown together with his teacher and talk excitedly about what he likes about Jinwoo - and he says he has millions of reasons to like him but that he can’t list them or else he won’t stop).

“You should tell him,” points out Namwoo confidently. “Jiji-ssaem says so,” he adds, all smiley, looking up at him with so much expectation (and all of them match with his expression; as if wanting to witness it soon, cheering for him to confess his sentiments in front of them).

This is something that only Jinhwan could have said, Seungyoon mutters, hissing at the name softly (Kim Jihwan is his opponent, his rival for Jinwoo’s affection and care, the nemesis he hates because he is always snatching away Jinwoo, he is always there when he is about to make a move to win Jinwoo’s heart). He is the type to let the children watch dramas during recess just to skip taking care of them, having to play with them and have a proper rest at the staff room without worrying too much; he probably has explained detailedly how relations work between adults and such; he probably has given them a master-class about love and feelings using soap opera to exemplify (and that elucidates why seven years old kids are educating him, a 25 years old teacher, how to connect with Jinwoo, they will tell him all about it and he is embarrassed already, thinking about him laughing at three babies coaching him about love - it is ridiculous but it is happening right now and he doesn’t know what to do to escape without hurting their feelings, bursting the bubble of their innocent interest, their cheers on him).

“Aren’t you sleeping?” Jinwoo appears by them, watching at them with curiosity, the rest of the class laying on soft pillows on the floor, napping like little angels that, awake, they never are (they are lovely trouble, always revolving around Jinwoo, blocking views of the only person he longs to see, craves to be with but that its always busy, always far away from his reach).

“We are talking about Juju-ssaem!” bursts cheerfully Jungwoo, totally ignoring his teacher’s signals to stay quiet but, with them, it’s all futile, useless.

“Jiji-ssaem told us that we should be brave and always say what it’s on our hearts!” joins his twin, smiling at Jinwoo lovingly as if his existence was solely due to him.

Jinwoo has this effect on people, it’s a true fact (mothers and fathers and grandparents, they all come to see him, he is the teacher who has more chocolates for Valentine’s Day - the others can be happy if they get a spare square; his locker is filled with tender love-letters coming from everywhere - from parents and kids and the girls at the cafeteria; there is no one who doesn’t adore Jinwoo, who hasn’t fallen for him and his endless charms (and Seungyoon tops the list, any list related to Jinwoo: he is always his number one fan)).

“Well, he is right,” he beams at him, kneeling to look at his eyes, “but Jiji-ssaem shouldn’t let you watch dramas,” his reply is gently and nice and Seungyoon knows that he doesn’t mean it at all (that he loves dramas as much as Jihwan does but he has to set boundaries for the sake of children’s development).

“Jiji-ssaem turned the TV on because he needed to go, ”defences Minseo, who, after Jinwoo, loves Jinhwan too and won’t let anyone bad mouth any of them (she is fierce when it comes to her loved ones). She has just woken up and her pretty eyes are still filled with sleep, she rubs them and stays with Jinwoo, sitting so close that her hair cascades down on Jinwoo’s chest where she rests.

Jinwoo listens to her attentively, but can’t help but to raise his eyebrows with surprise (it is not common for Jinhwan to leave the kids alone and, if needed, he would know - after all, they are best friends).

“Do you know why he needed to go?” inquires, half curious, half preoccupied and totally startled by the revelation.

“Binnie-Binnie came looking for him. I think they were kissing outside but I couldn’t see it well enough,” she provides, giggling. Hanbin is Bandaland’s handyman and, it seems, Jinhwan’s too, taking into consideration the detailed explanation provided by Minseo, who is chuckling at the boys’ startled expression. Jinwoo looks puzzled, too and it doesn’t take long for Seungyoon to realize that he didn’t know (he didn’t, either, and all the jealousy stored inside his core is released with a deep sigh that contains all the drops of hate he has for him; he is not his archenemy anymore, he can concentrate to earn Jinwoo’s affection now).

“Ok, kids, now you stay here with Yonie-ssaem, I have things to do. I’ll be back soon.” And without another word, he leaves the classroom.

Seungyoon has to refrain the urge to follow, to ease his heart from being broken, for Jinwoo has always been clear about his feelings towards Jinhwan and, to discover that he has someone must be hard (must feel like a hammer smashing hopes and dreams and all that is precious inside).

“You, fairy-looking bastard! Rugrat who dares to call himself my friend! When were you going to tell me about Hanbin?” he doesn’t need to yell to sound intimidating, Jinhwan knows (they have been friends long enough, but maybe not longer than today) and, due to that, he doesn’t even flinch, nor bat an eye at Jinwoo’s hiss.  

“Hyung! How I was supposed to tell you when you only have eyes for mochi-Kang Seungyoon?” he retorts, smiling just like this (Jinwoo blushes adorably at the mention of that name he holds dear).

“That’s not true!” he complains, unsure; Jinhwan rolls his eyes and keeps his smile in place (he is too happy to fight and watching Jinwoo trying to convince him otherwise is just hilarious; his face lits scarlet and he stutters, looking like a fish out of water, a lost kid without arguments to strike back).

“Never mind; as if you could make me think differently after all those long nights sighing for him, talking about how adorable he is, how much would you like to sleep pressed to his chest and other things I don’t want to repeat,” he jogs a bit because Jinwoo is about to smash him. “I don’t know why you don’t do the same as me and tell him. He is head over feet in love with you, hyung, I’m telling you,” now he is serious, all his fairy-like features focused on Jinwoo, who is all reddened in shyness (for Jinwoo he doesn’t look like a little fay but a complete who has to be beaten up).

“I just find him charming,” he pouts, trying to escape this situation he got himself into, “there is nothing else, but you like to project your issues onto others,” but both of them know that Jinwoo is lying, that he fancies Seungyoon too but is too afraid of failing to even dare to try, to give his heart an opportunity.

“If only was that…” Jinhwan says much to Jinwoo dismay but he lets it slip (he needs to rush back to work).

“Anyway, you shouldn’t leave kids alone to go snuggle with your flammant boyfriend!” he turns around and comes back, leaving  a mess of giggle Jinhwan behind who doesn’t give a damn about consequences (it’s unlikely that Jinwoo will report him since he also dozes out dreaming about Seungyoon - he has to snap him back to reality more times that he wants to remember, all of them a torment for Jinwoo; he knows enough about him and his reveries to backfire him for a lifetime - it doesn’t worth it and, so, he feels safe, ready to do the same thing again in order to feel Hanbin’s lips on him, tasting them).

Seungyoon is already missing him; it’s only been five minutes but it’s not only because all the children under his care have to wake up already and are demanding attention from their favourite teacher, asking him tiresomely when he will be back, but his chest keeps pounding, repeating his name, tugging in like the riff of his guitar and it hurts (it hurts don’t having him around).

When he is back, he finds Seungyoon playing slapsies with little Jei (Jeon is sitting next to him, protecting his cute sister like the best brother he always is); the rest of the children are scattered, the girls reading books on the mats, Yeojoon showing Jiwoo his ability to do push-ups and the Lee twins are singing out of tune the infamous “Tuna Song” that Seungyoon composed for them a few months ago. As expected, baby Hayul is sleeping peacefully on the nursery and he sneaks to check on him (to pretend he has been doing something else instead of yelling at his best friend on the hall).

Everything is going smoothly, everything is as it should be, Jinwoo breathes in, relaxed, coming back to the classroom (the girls run to him as if greatly missed and he rushes to join them, complying with all of their demands - this time it’s only to sit with them and let Seoyeon brush his pinkish hair (he ends with brains and pigtails and all the princesses contented and maybe Seungyoon has checked on him, laughing adoringly and so he doesn’t feel so bad for his disarray of a hairstyle).

It is while waiting for the parents to collect the kids that Seowoo calls them over (the older group gather around her and she tells them something that isn’t a secret).

“We need to do something to bring them together like Jiji-ssaem and Binnie-Binnie,” she says, cheerfully (and to her chore of giggles add Minseo and Namwoo, the rest listen to her trying to come up with a plan).

“Let’s talk tomorrow more!” she is obligated to say, while been dragged to the car alongside Jiwoo, who is holding her hand. Seoyeon waves her goodbye with a sufficient smile on her pretty face and Jinwoo finds it all a bit strange.

But next morning is even stranger; kids batch again and start brainstorming loudly (Jinwoo gives his all to ignore them, focusing on taking care of Jei, who needs to be changed again, not fast enough to reach the toilet). The oddest part happens when Seungyoon arrives after collecting Yeojoon from his grandparents’; they onslaught over him like a torrent, pushing him to the farthest corner.

How on earth these seven-year-old kids have come with this crazy idea? Seungyoon doesn’t know but has a fair idea that a fairy-looking teacher is behind it somehow. But when he confronts Jinhwan, he negates it all and, from the way his eyes are popping out of his face and the way he is holding his laugh back and how impressed he seems, Seungyoon believes him.

“But they are right, it’s about time! You have been after him for so long it hurts my pride as his friend,” he adds, smiling defiantly, “do you think you are subtle? You have been pinning for him since day one; it is so sad to see the both of you longing for something that you could so easily have,” Seungyoon is the surprised now, his heart is racing and he is so flustered kids could warm marshmallows on his cheeks with how heated he is with the revelation. He is perplexed, “Ok, you didn’t notice”, Jinhwan sighs, rolling his eyes, “I suppose you are well matched then; both oblivious of reality”, he swishes in disbelieve (how can they be so blind when it is plainly obvious they are in love, pinning and yearning for each other pitifully? When even Hanbin knows - and he isn’t the type to pay attention to what happens around him). “You better tell him because he doesn’t trust me. Jinwoo-hyung can be so stupid and dense…” he pouts but Seungyoon isn’t there (he is running to Jinwoo, taking advantage of the kids’ plan and that it is to leave them alone during the break that has already started).

The classroom is empty but for Jinwoo. When he closes the door, Jungwoo rushes to lock it, a loud click creeps up on Jinwoo, who looks at it (at Jiwoo and Jungwoo and the others waving from the window, all smiley); he knows what to do.

It is not as if he has practised for this moment (he might have, but this scenario has never popped out on his mind; they enclosed on a playroom, kids watching, expectantly).

“Is Jinhwan behind this? Is this a prank?” Jinwoo asks sceptically, glancing at the children who are out, cheering for him silently (the walls are soundproof and, right now he is thankful for it or else they would be hearing him cursing aloud).

He lets Jinwoo cry out his frustration over Jinhwan (he listens to every one of his protests, staring at him quietly until he is done).

“I think I should tell you something,” he begins, reaching for his hands (Jinwoo lets him, relishing onto the gesture, the warmth spreading from the grip and that is melting all the tension, all the insecurities), “Jinhwan told me… that you liked me, hyung,” he says, Jinwoo shaking in front of him (with shame, with fears, with something he has to cut out before it is too late, before he can’t trust his words; he needs to tell him right now), “I like you, too,” it comes out rushed but he has said it, he has done it. Jinwoo is still in front of him, blinking slowly, sheepishly (and at this moment he looks the best, all flustered and nervous).

“Do you?” he words it after a minute of stretching silence; his eyes are filled with sparkling diamonds on the corners and he hustles to wipe them out, caressing his cheeks for the first time.

“Of course. I have always,” Seungyoon confesses, pressing him closer (he can smell it now without regrets, the soft perfume of his hair - like spring and clouds and he sniff it, memorizing it in awe). He can’t believe that this is happening, that his dream is now between his arms, that he can hold him, touch him, that he is real, no longer a fantasy.

From outside he can see the kids sitting, Kim Jinhwan in the front row, on his lap three little princesses that are observing them kissing, finally (when the door is finally opened, a loud burst of claps and congratulations floats them, breaking the magic with soft smiles and proud hugs, but it is alright because, after all, he has now Jinwoo by his side).