They planned on meeting today to celebrate Seungri's birthday, Christmas and the new year, to celebrate as much as they can in the short amount of time they have. None of those holidays is today, but today is the only day they have in a while.

Hyung I have some things to take care of, I really have to do it myself, I'll hurry. I'm sorry. I'll go to your house as soon as I'm done

You really have to do it today? Today of all days?? You really don't care about your hyung do you?

Seungri can practically hear Jiyong's whiny voice as he reads the words and he can't help but smile. Jiyong doesn't think he's cute, but he couldn't be more wrong.

I'm really sorry hyung

Sometimes I wonder why I'm stuck with such a bad maknae

Seungri sighs.

You bad maknae, your hyung wants to see you.

He feels something weird in his chest and he reads the last part twice. And then a third time and then there's a tingling sensation in his stomach.

I want to see you too hyung. You know that. I'll hurry, I promise.

I'll stop by the salon to get a haircut, meet me there.

The one we always go to?

Obviously.

Yep, Jiyong is mad. Seungri will have to make it up to him.

~

One hour later he calls Jiyong on his way to the salon but there is no answer. Usually Jiyong wouldn't wait so long, he’d say, “Why do I need to see you?” but Seungri is hoping that “distance makes the heart grow fonder” is true and that his leader will wait for him. He texts him instead.

I'll be there in 2 minutes hyung

He kills the engine once parked and as he ventures into the cold his phone dings.

Hurry Seunghyunnie

He stops a few feet away from the door to the salon.

Seunghyunnie

Seungri doesn't really like his real name all that much. He likes Seungri better, because Seungri is everything he had dreamt of becoming. Yet his hyungs still call him Seunghyun sometimes and every time they do, he feels not like the maknae from Bigbang the legendary group, but like the little brother to four men he admires. It feels intimate, a name only the people closest to him can call him because they've been through every hardship with him.

When Jiyong calls him that…

He opens the door to the salon with a smile on his face and his eyes scan the room, finding him in less than a second.

There he is.

Jiyong.

Jiyong with his warm brown eyes and a radiant smile on his face.

Jiyong standing, walking towards him with no limp in his step.

Jiyong.

Seungri has many friends, friends he enjoys spending time with, he has people he loves, people he considers as brothers, but this feeling is different, deeper. It's that feeling one doesn't know has to be cherished as a kid, the feeling of warmth and safety and deep rooted happiness on Christmas morning. It's love, in its purest form.

“Jiyong” he says and Jiyong's smile changes and turns more private, his eyes softening.

A beat passes as they exchange a look and it's as if Seungri's brain stops working. He stares at him, but it's like he can't really see, it's not enough, because it doesn't seem real. It's Jiyong. After so long. His leader, his hyung.

Jiyong.

Jiyong's eyes crinkle and Seungri wishes there was a way to explain this feeling with words, because then everyone would be able to understand how Jiyong's smile can make anything feel worth it. Obviously other people have loved before, but when the one you love is Jiyong and when he's the one smiling at you with soft adoring eyes, with chubby cheeks and a smile on his face… Seungri believes he's the first man on Earth to feel happiness this deep.

“Jiyong hyung” Seungri says and then Seungri is in Jiyong's arms and Jiyong is in Seungri's arms.

This.

God, he has missed this.

He feels like crying and that makes him feel silly, but this feeling is so deep and all-encompassing that it demands to be acknowledged and freed in the form of tears. But he knows they're in public and that Jiyong would endlessly, so instead a sigh escapes him.

Then Jiyong buries his nose in Seungri's neck and nuzzles him and Seungri can't help but tighten his arms around the older boy, perfectly aware of his quickening heartbeat. Jiyong's hugs are simply wonderful, because he hugs you with everything he is. He makes you feel safe and warm, and also makes you want to protect him. He makes you feel whole.

His leader smells of cigarettes and clean clothes, and a familiar musky scent that all those years ago would make Seungri feel safe every night before bed. The scent he'd go to bed to and woke up to every morning. The smell of his youth, of dreams and long, warm and happy nights.

“Seungri” Jiyong murmurs softly and Seungri clears his throat to keep himself from blurting out his feelings right there at the salon.

Then Jiyong lets go of him- Seungri is not ready but he thinks it would be a bit embarrassing to cling to his hyung in public - and he puts his hands on Seungri's shoulders, keeping him at arm's length, taking in every detail of his face. Seungri doesn't feel self-conscious, because he knows Jiyong always finds him cute, but then Jiyong’s gaze moves and he looks Seungri up and down.

“Seungri. I’m a soldier and you’re a celebrity” he pauses and Seungri starts to say something but then Jiyong keeps talking “but I think I’m cooler.” he smirks

A laugh escapes Seungri because he was not expecting that and then he sees the amusement in Jiyong's eyes and he smiles wider, because he has also missed this. Playful, teasing Jiyong.

He has missed everything about Jiyong.

“Oh I wouldn't call myself a celebrity, I can't compete with that G-dragon guy”

Jiyong ignores that.

“A total celebrity, a diva, making me wait an hour to see you” Jiyong ruffles his hair “Then again, you're always late”

Seungri wants to deny it, but what's the point? Instead he notices little changes in Jiyong's face, and he doesn't know if it's because Jiyong called himself a soldier or if it's because he feels like it's been ages since he last saw him, but Jiyong seems older, in a good way. It's as if he has gained experience, as if he knows something important he hadn't before, it's in his his eyes that look wiser, in the way he purses his lips that denote authority. He looks manly and knowledgeable, even more than before.

“Military will do you good” Jiyong says “Daesung wants to make a man out of you”

“Oh but I am a man hyung, I could show you” and Seungri smiles in a flirty way. Jiyong narrows his eyes and throws him an unconvinced look, but Seungri can see right through it and sure enough, a smile escapes Jiyong and he covers his eyes with his hand for a second, his cheeks flushing, and he flashes a gummy smile.

Man, Seungri has really missed him.

When he smiles like that Jiyong still looks boyish and full of youth and memories of fooling around at the studio flash through Seungri's eyes. And Seungri knows that's why no one on Earth will ever make him feel the way Jiyong does. Because he doesn't only love Jiyong now, but because he loves every single version of Jiyong there's been through the years. When he looks at him, he sees not only the now, but also the past and he loves both just as much.

They stare at each other with smiles on their faces, until Jiyong clears his throat and looks away and Seungri feels like he's on top of the world.

“So” he says “do you want to go drink something hyung?”

“No”

“Where do you want to go then?”

“Home”

"Home" Seungri repeats "where is home?"

"Where it's just the two of us" Seungri immediately flushes with pleasure at the words and he can't believe Jiyong can say something like that and make it seem so normal, like it's no big deal, like it's obvious.

You really are cool Jiyong hyung

~

“I'm totally telling everyone by the way, every single VIP on Earth that you said that at my next interview. Or maybe I should save it for a concert” he says as they get into the car.

Jiyong narrows his eyes at him.

“Keep digging your grave, remember we'll all be out while you're doing your military service.  Ah I truly can't wait, Youngbae has already started making a list of everything he'll say” Jiyong chuckles with glee but Seungri isn’t worried… okay maybe just a tiny bit.

Jiyong puts his back to the door with his body facing Seungri.

“Speaking of which, a one sided-love? You wish. My name is always trending because you can't shut up about me”

Seungri giggles.

“I think the people love nyongtory as much as you do hyung”

Jiyong scoffs but he can't keep the smile out of his face, and neither can Seungri, because this is Jiyong, and he's here.

As he drives he can feel Jiyong's eyes on him, and Jiyong starts talking animatedly about what he does at the base, and Seungri knows he should keep his eyes on the road but he steals glances at Jiyong and he sees the way his eyes shine, and as he explains everything with his hands, gesturing nonstop, Seungri smiles.

He makes a few comments and Jiyong laughs at each one, clapping excitedly, throwing himself against the door, covering his face and cooling his cheeks. Seungri is sure that if he could, he'd throw himself to the ground laughing. He laughs and talks with his entire body, and Seungri loves that about him.

When Seungri stops at a red light, Jiyong starts petting his head absentmindedly and he keeps going for a few minutes. Seungri likes it, but it's distracting.

“Is this some sort of withdrawal symptom because you haven't seen Iye in so long?”

Jiyong looks at him, as if only now realizing what he's doing. Then he smiles prettily, too prettily, and Seungri is glad they're at a red light again because his heart is doing somersaults in his chest.

“No, it's because I love you”

His heart… his hearts skips a beat and doubles in size in his chest.

I love you.

“You do?”

“Yes, because we're family”

And that's the plain truth.

“Now hurry and go home Seunghyunie, I want to give you your birthday present.”

Seungri smiles widely.

“What about my Christmas present?”

“That too”

“Is it good?”

“Of course. You did well this year. Really well” Jiyong grabs Seungri's hand between his.

“Thank you.”

And the sincerity in Jiyong's voice makes Seungri well up, because he knows he has made him proud, as a leader and a hyung. He has managed to represent Bigbang, and it felt heavy in his shoulders but he did it.

“You did amazing this year too hyung” Seungri says through the lump in his throat

“I guess so, but it was expected with you. Our Seungri always does well”

~

They go to Jiyong's apartment, and they decide to put up a Christmas tree. Of course Seungri puts on music and starts singing. Jiyong compliments his voice on one song, but does the opposite on another one.

“Ah you really can't sing” tsundere Jiyong says in a sad voice “I'll need to keep that in mind for our next album”

“I can sing” Seungri says “and dance, and write, and cook”

“Shut up”

And as they keep working they steal glances at each other, and Jiyong finds any excuse to touch him, and every time he does the spot Jiyong touches tingles.

“These dark circles will never go away huh” Jiyong says as he touches them. Seungri doesn't like people touching his face, but Jiyong is always the exception.

“It's because you are always out at night instead of sleeping. You party and collect fanboys and friends who love to hug your back”

His tone is somewhat jealous and Seungri knows Jiyong looks him up on the internet, just like all the other hyungs do. This is why Seungri can never get away with hiding anything.

“At least this mole on your eye is cute”

Jiyong says and Seungri flashes a charming smile and Jiyong stares at him a bit too long.

When they're done decorating the tree Seungri sits down on the couch, Jiyong rests his head on Seungri's lap, and they watch Home Alone. Occasionally, Jiyong pokes Seungri's belly and he laments the fact that Seungri lost weight and his belly is not as soft anymore. In retaliation, and in what Seungri considers to be a bold move because Jiyong is his hyung, he pinches Jiyong's cheeks hard, and says he's glad Jiyong put on weight.

When Jiyong tells him “stay the night”, Seungri doesn't hesitate to say yes. When he comes out of the shower, he finds Jiyong writing on a notebook in bed. Seungri has seen this enough times to know Jiyong is writing a song.

“I had to write these lyrics down” he tells him when he's done “I hadn't felt this inspired in a long time”

Seungri takes a deep breath because his chest feels full and he wants to expand that feeling to all of his body. All the lyrics come from looking at Seungri, Jiyong had said once and that was his favorite way in which Jiyong had told him “I love you”.

They lie in bed and Seungri places his hand on Jiyong's belly and he starts to trace Jiyong's tattoo, Jiyong's muscles tightening under his touch. But not even a minute later Jiyong puts his hand on his to stop him, and then Jiyong starts playing with his fingers.

Seungri smiles, feeling triumphant but he decides not to keep testing Jiyong, and instead he tells him about his concerts and his plan for the next year. Jiyong listens attentively and the way he applies pressure on Seungri's hand as he holds it is enough for Seungri to know Jiyong is proud.

~

When the clock strikes midnight, Seungri lifts his head and supports his weight on his elbow. He looks down at Jiyong, who is looking back at him with an honest and open expression on his face. Jiyong is too pretty and it makes Seungri's chest ache from how much this one man makes him feel.

He brings their faces close together and he places a small kiss on Jiyong's mouth.

“Happy new year Seungri” Jiyong says against his lips

“Merry Christmas hyung”

“Happy birthday maknae”

“To many more to come” and Seungri places another kiss on his lips, and then he rests his head on Jiyong's chest, listening to his heartbeat.

It is snowing outside, but they're perfectly warm in bed lying in each other's arms, falling asleep slowly, knowing they have everything they need right there.