[title song: where you at - loona]
[15k]

three

Yixing cups her face, so very gently, his eyes searching hers, trying and trying to catch her gaze in his despite how hard it is for her to meet those soft brown eyes. Her heart flips in her chest and her nails dig into her palms, hands balled up into tight fists. She feels so bad. So ing bad.

“Hey.” Yixing taps her cheek with his thumb before he rubs a soothing circle there. His voice is low, careful, as gentle as the way he holds her face, like she is something to be revered. Usually, she’d hate that, hate being held like she is made of glass, but Yixing never manages to make her feel inferior or weak. He always looks at her like he sees something worth protecting in her and she used to be so scared of how that made her feel, how his presence filled her with this immense amount of love, filling her to the brim until she was overflowing with it. Sometimes, she thinks she sees God in him. Sometimes, she thinks that she understands why people consider the body a temple, for Yixing’s is one she would love to worship at for eternity. Or, maybe, he is her home and she knows that’s bad, to build a home out of another person, because if that person leaves then what will become of her? Still, she thinks she understands the vast, terrifying concept of love, at least a little bit, whenever she witnesses Yixing giggle, whenever she is victim to his cuddles, whenever he steals all the covers and she lets him, whenever she cuts her shower time in half to keep the bill low so Yixing won’t have to work those extra shifts, whenever she saves up some of her personal savings to buy Yixing a small present. When she curls into his chest and breathes in his scent, she thinks she doesn’t mind that Yixing is her home, doesn’t mind that maybe he could up and leave one day and leave her stranded. Sometimes, on her worst and even her best days, she thinks she does not deserve him.

(Especially now. Especially now. What if he leaves now?)

She’s cheated on him. Again. She does not deserve his kindness.

The first time maybe didn’t count because she was immediately bitten by a vampire and passed out right after. She had a few drinks in her and her inhibitions were off. She could excuse that away from her mind, even though she knew she should have told him, knew it was wrong in some way and she was just making excuses for a mistake she made, because she barely remembered the kiss. But this time? This time she was fully conscious, and she remembers every single excruciating detail. She gave him explicit permission to kiss her. Goddammit, she remembers the planes of his face as well as she remembers Yixing’s. She remembers the coolness of his fingers, the lingering taste of his lips, the way he tugged at her hair, the soft hum of satisfaction, the tug of his—

“Sunhye, love, look at me.” Yixing pleads now and she hates that, hates that she is the reason for such a sound spilling from his lips. She shakes her head, quickly. Yixing presses on, “Please?”

She can’t deny that tone, no matter how much she wants to.

“I—” closes, as if her body is fighting the guilt and the need to tell him, reminding her that after this, nothing will be the same and she could lose Yixing. Don’t try to fix what’s not broken, a small, selfish voice murmurs to her. It is tempting, it’s so ing tempting, because she can’t imagine a life without Yixing in it. She can’t, she can’t.

“Breathe.” Yixing tells her, reaching up with both hands to brush her over-grown bangs back away from her face, warm hands cupping her cheeks in the process as he mimics breathing, his eyes filled with concern.

She nods, a little frantic, and he nods in response, everything about him reassuring, careful, his thumbs tracing soothing circles at her jaw.

(Still, she loves and respects Yixing and she thinks she owes him that much. She owes him honesty.)

She takes a deep, deep breath, steeling herself, her eyes locking with Yixing’s. He seems taken aback by the change in her expression. She takes that moment of confusion to blurt out, “I messed up.”

Yixing stares at her, a little crease forming between his brows as his face crumples in confusion.

She forces herself to repeat, more clearly this time, “I messed up, Yixing.”

Yixing still looks confused as he says, “I’m sure that…that whatever you did, it can be fixed. You always fix things. You’re good at that.”

He’s still cupping her cheeks gently, still tracing the rough pads of his thumb along her skin. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and then slowly opens them as she explains, bracing herself, teeth gritting, “No, you don’t understand.” She looks him in the eye as she continues, “I…I kissed him. Baekhyun. I messed up and I kissed someone else. I cheated on you and—”

She cuts herself off.

Yixing’s brows furrow now and she hates to see the hurt bloom across his features, hates to see how he reigns it back, keeping his expression calm and collected as always. She wishes he would get angry, but he doesn’t. He’s too ing good to her.

“You were drunk, so… It’s okay. It’s okay.” Yixing reassures her, her cheeks as if she is the most fragile thing in the world.

She hates the way he’s trying so hard to take it in stride. It’s not okay. Not when he’s clearly thinking she’s talking about the first time. The first time, because she kissed Baekhyun more than once and, God, she is truly the worst. He is too good for her.

She shakes her head, her gaze remaining locked on to Yixing, her fingers shaking as she reaches up and cups his hands at her cheeks. She shakes her head, back and forth, back and forth, and she says, soft words echoing throughout the apartment, tone firm, “No, I wasn’t. I wasn’t drunk, Yixing. I wasn’t drunk at all.”

In retrospect, she should have foreseen his reaction. Did she not always claim to know Yixing better than she knew even herself? She’s known him for years.

(Maybe, a minuscule part of her did know he’d react like this. Maybe a small part of her wished for this, from the beginning, for a storm to tear her down from the pedestal she had climbed her way onto, a pedestal she always knew she didn’t deserve to be on. Maybe that small part of her knows that she is just a bad person. To want someone else when she is so utterly in love with another is one thing, but to act on it? While she’s with someone else? There is no excuse for betraying someone’s trust that way.)

She watches, her heart slamming against her ribs, as Yixing’s eyes widen the slightest bit, as his fingers curl against her face, in her hands, before they slowly, very slowly, drop away, slipping from her limp fingers, as if her skin is burning her. He falls back on his heels, hands falling to his lap, and she thinks he looks like a lost soul despairing at a church pew. He looks up at her with eyes that seem to be lamenting God Himself.

Her vision blurs with tears but she does not cry. This is not her place to cry.

A million emotions flicker through Yixing’s expression and her heart hurts when he chooses to give her a small, soulless smile, his dimples showing. She sits back on the couch that they bought from a garage sale together, where they spent hours cuddling and kissing and comforting each other when they had to go to bed hungry on some nights and—

Yixing stares at her, blinking, before he exhales, his breath staggered, and says, “It’s okay—”

Her heart breaks a little at how kind he is, despite everything.

“It’s not.” She whispers, cutting him off. She can read his expression. She knows him too well, just like he knows her. Despite the clear hurt in his expression, he’s still trying to keep some semblance of peace. She can’t let him do that. It’s not fair to him. “It’s not okay. Please don’t downplay it. We both know it’s not okay.”

Then, Yixing nods. He drags a hand through his hair, rubbing his face, and when he looks back up at her, there are tears glistening in his eyes and his jaw ticks.

The silence stretches, on and on, and she braces herself for an explosion.

But, it doesn’t seem to come.

Her fingers tighten around the fabric of her shorts as she stutters, “Please say something.” He doesn’t say a word, just blinks away tears, and her heart shatters at his expression. He looks so vulnerable, so tired, in a way that she has never seen. There’s no glow, no hint of a smile on his tired face, no twinkle in his eyes, no restless tapping of his fingers against his thigh. Her fingers tremble in her lap. “If you want to yell at me, then yell. Please just…say something, Yixing. Please.”

It’s the wrong thing to say; she knows it is. They made a promise, years ago, before they ever decided to date, that they would be roommates in university after the first year of mandatory dorm housing was over. Right after that, weeks later, after he had found her sitting at the curb in front of her house, ready much too early since she was always the late one in high school, waiting for him to arrive so they could walk to the bus stop together, her mother slamming the front door shut just as Yixing arrived, they had promised that they would never raise their voices at each other. They would create a home filled with nothing but softness, music, and laughter, of dancing in the kitchen and laughter filling the halls, of taking the time to step away after arguments and talking it out, later, when they’ve both calmed down enough to speak in level voices. There would be no screaming or slamming doors, he had promised, as he tucked her hair behind her ears and looked at her with so much sincerity.

Yixing shakes his head, a tiny, tiny movement, too small and rigid. “I will never yell at you.”

She watches as he slowly rises from his spot, fingers fiddling with each other, his eyes flickering up to the ceiling as he tries to keep a neutral expression.

Yixing’s gaze drops to her for just a moment and she deflates under his gaze. He looks away, adding, “But I don’t—I really can’t look at you right now, Sunhye.”

Her heart drops to the pit of her stomach but she’s quick to nod, quick to stumble to her feet and say, “I—I’ll go, then.”

He shakes his head, “No. No, it’s late. I’ll go.”

She falters watching as he spins on his heels, watching as he drags his hands through his hair and nearly walks into the kitchen before he turns and heads to the bedroom instead. She doesn’t argue because it’s the least she can do for him. She can’t do anything but stare, time passing strangely all around her, as if it is warping.

He steps out of the bedroom with a duffle bag and his phone charger dangling between his fingers. He doesn’t meet her eyes. She doesn’t know how long she’s stood there, staring at their bedroom door, how long it took him to pack that bag, but Yixing’s eyes are redder than before, puffier, so it must have been a while. He doesn’t meet her eyes once as he slips past her, the echoes of his footsteps resounding all around them.

“Yixing.” Her voice sounds quiet, even to her ears. His footsteps falter. She turns to look at him. His back is turned to her, hand stilling on the doorknob. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“Me, too.” He responds before he steps out of the apartment. The door clicks shut behind him and she feels terribly alone. She cries, hugging herself as she sinks into the couch.

~.~.~.~.~

He’s the last person she should be seeing amid all this, but Baekhyun has always been diligent in having her eat her meals on time. Plus, it’s been two days since Yixing walked out of their apartment and she’s been cooped up in her apartment eating leftovers Baekhyun kept in her freezer. She’s started rationing them. Besides, Sunhye suspects Irene had texted Baekhyun because Baekhyun wouldn’t show up at her apartment unannounced otherwise, not since what happened between them. In fact, she’s sure he’s been avoiding her since then because she’s been avoiding him, too.

She’s exhausted, head pounding, and she knows she’s dehydrated. When she opens the front door, her hope that it’s Yixing is squashed by an annoyed, ruffled looking Baekhyun, eyes narrowing when he takes in her appearance. He can probably sense that she hasn’t been taking care of herself. She’s been taking her vitamins, but that’s about it.

Baekhyun’s gaze flickers from the slippers on her feet to the ratty gym shorts to the oversized hoodie—Yixing’s hoodie—to her face, lingering there. From the way his eyes widen just a bit at the sight of her face, Sunhye knows she must look like an absolute wreck. The irritation in his expression flickers away, falling into a soft, concerned expression that reminds her horribly of the softness in his eyes when she had kissed him.

(She hates that thought, hates that despite Yixing walking away from her, her brain could still look at Baekhyun and whisper of how pretty he is. How can she be so awful?)

He leans forward, until he is eye level with her, and Baekhyun whispers, so very carefully, “What happened?”

His gaze flickers over her shoulder, no doubt searching for Yixing, but an unreadable expression crosses his features, dimming him, when he takes in the state of her apartment.

Baekhyun reaches out and she jerks away from his touch. His eyes grow more distant as he drops his hand quickly. “Where’s Yixing?” He asks, each syllable slow, deliberate.

“Why are you here?” She asks, instead. Her voice sounds raspy from all the sobbing she’s been doing. Baekhyun notices, brow rising.

“To feed you and keep you hydrated, apparently.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Or thirsty?” Baekhyun raises a brow when she doesn’t quip back. He adds, “You need to eat. And you certainly need some water.”

“I have leftovers in the fridge.”

“Sunhye.”

“What?” She snaps, then, glaring.

“I’ve been told that you haven’t left your apartment in two days.” Baekhyun’s voice is gentle, careful. She hates it.

“Don’t speak to me like that.”

Baekhyun frowns, “Like what?”

“Like I’m—like I’m made of glass. I’m not going to break.”

“You say that, but,” Baekhyun appraises her slowly, from head-to-toe, once again, before he murmurs, “You look and sound like you already are breaking.”

He sounds almost sad, as if he doesn’t like seeing her that way.

She slumps at that, shoulders sagging, and Baekhyun steps into her apartment, careful, she notices, not to touch her as he slips in. He doesn’t say anything when she brushes away tears with the heel of her palms, seemingly focused on slipping his shoes off and stepping into his slippers. He shuts the front door before he heads to the kitchen. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t look at her as she tries to keep her composure.

She settles onto the small dining table in the kitchen, watching him cook, though her nerves feel off kilter and she wonders if she’s an idiot for allowing him into the apartment. Especially when Yixing is wherever he is, when Yixing is gone and it’s her fault. He doesn’t say a word as he chops up vegetables, as he cooks her meal, handing her a tall glass of water with a pointed look. He doesn’t say anything as he sets the table for just her. He doesn’t say anything at all as he places the finished dishes in front of her. He doesn’t say anything as he takes the seat across from her and fills up her half-empty water glass from the pitcher.

He settles across from her before he finally murmurs, “Eat.”

She hesitates. He nods, encouraging, a tenderness to his eyes that makes her skin feel a little hot.

(Why does she lack such self-control? Why is she so greedy? Why is she so terrible?)

The silence stretches on and on. She finishes her meal and Baekhyun wordlessly scoops up the empty plates and carries them to the sink, washing them. She doesn’t say anything because she doesn’t know what to say and the silence between them is strange. They’ve never been so silent around each other.

Eventually she cannot stand the silence nor Baekhyun’s piercing gaze digging into her skull.

Eventually she says, for the umpteenth time, “I messed up.”

Sunhye can’t help the way her face crumbles, the way a small sob escapes her lips. “I messed up, Baekhyun. I ed up so badly and I think—”

“Hey.” Baekhyun looks her in the eye, gaze sincere, steady, holding her in place, despite the stinging tears, “We both did.”

“I’m his girlfriend.” She whispers, shaking her head, because it’s her fault, her responsibility to not cheat.

“And, I’m his friend. He trusted me with you.” Baekhyun murmurs, so very gently. “I betrayed that trust.”

Sunhye whimpers at the certainty in Baekhyun’s tone. They both betrayed Yixing’s trust, really.

Baekhyun’s fingers curl into fists on the table as he looks at her. He looks as if he wants to reach out and wipe the tears from her eyes. But, he doesn’t. She’s glad he doesn’t because she doesn’t think she could deny his touch. That’s a scary thought. It’s terrifying.

“What do I do?” She whispers, feeling so small right there in her vast, empty kitchen.

“Take care of yourself and wait. That’s all you can do.” Baekhyun’s tone sounds ancient.

Sunhye nods, breathing ragged, “O—okay.”

There’s a pause before he says, “And I’m sorry for putting you in this position.”

“I’m the one who agreed to kiss you.”

“I shouldn’t have even asked.”

“Still—”

“I’m older. I should take responsibility.”

“I—okay,” She lets out a strangled laugh that sounds halfway to a sob, “I can’t argue with that.”

Baekhyun smiles, a tiny smile that’s entirely different from his usual smirks.

~.~.~.~.~

Irene practically kicks her bedroom door open.

Sunhye blinks, tearing her gaze off her laptop screen to frown at the intrusion. Irene stomps into the room, striding to her closet, and pulls out jeans and a t-shirt, Seulgi slowly sidling into the room behind Irene, looking both sheepish and worried, her gaze settling on Sunhye.

Sunhye cranes her neck, hugging her pillow to her chest as she slowly snaps her laptop shut, the sad movie cutting off as she does so.

“What are you doing?” Sunhye asks, blinking.

Irene throws a bra and underwear at Sunhye’s face, making her splutter.

“Irene, be gentle.” Seulgi warns, frowning.

“No.” Irene states, tossing jeans and the t-shirt at Sunhye after, ignoring Seulgi’s pout and Sunhye offended scowl. “Get up, get dressed. We’re hanging out.”

Sunhye opens to protest when Seulgi interrupts her, murmuring in her sweet way, “You can’t stay holed up in here forever. It’s not good for you.”

“And everyone’s worried about you.” Irene adds.

Sunhye wants to protest, wants to say no, and go back to wallowing in self-pity, but they both have a point. And she doesn’t really like worrying her friends. After a moment, she sighs, “Fine.”

Seulgi beams. Irene claps her hands together.

~.~.~.~.~

They arrive at the ice cream shop to Johnny and Jaehyun waiting for her with the biggest cup of ice cream they could have ordered, piled high with all her favorite toppings.

They talk about everything but Yixing and she is suddenly so very grateful for her friends. Her phone is flooded with stupid snapchats from her friends who couldn’t come through and her heart swells so much, she thinks it’ll burst.

(She strangles the thought in her head that whispers, maliciously, if they knew what you did, they wouldn’t be so kind, because she’s tired of that voice. It’s been plaguing her for days, since Yixing left, and she just wants a moment of peace.)

Johnny points at his own cup of ice cream piled high with basically an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows. “I bet I could stuff twenty of these into my mouth at once.”

Jaehyun side-eyes Johnny, “You’re literally a walking hazard.”

“And a coward. Do thirty.” Irene says.

Seulgi cheers when Johnny does it and Sunhye can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he looks.

Afterwards, after she hugs everyone goodbye, watching Johnny sling an arm around Jaehyun’s neck a little way down the sidewalk, she turns to Seulgi and Irene and mumbles, “Thanks.”

Irene just squeezes her hand tightly.

~.~.~.~.~

She hasn’t seen Yixing for nearly a week. It’s strange, like she’s floating through a liminal space, existing in a realm that doesn’t feel real at all. She doesn’t try to think too much on it and it certainly helps that her friends seemed to make it their mission to keep her distracted. She doesn’t try to think about where Yixing could be or if he’s okay, until Jongin stops her near the performing arts building while she’s headed back to her empty apartment.

“I know this is awkward considering…you’re both not on good terms right now, so I’m really sorry to bring this up, but, uh, do you happen to know if Yixing is okay?” Jongin scratches the back of his head, shuffling from foot to foot. He looks at her with caution, as if he’s afraid she’ll burst into tears at any moment.

“What do you mean?” Sunhye frowns.

“Well—” Jongin clears his throat, sighing, “Yixing hasn’t been showing up to work or classes for the last couple days and he hasn’t been answering any of my texts. He’s never skipped a day in his life, as far as I know, and I’m worried. We have a project we’re supposed to work on and…I didn’t know who else to ask.”

That sets off alarm bells, her eyes widening. Sunhye stares at Jongin, her thoughts running, as she responds, “Oh. That’s—I don’t know where he is, right now. But I’ll ask around. That’s not—I—”

Jongin blinks rapidly, his eyes widening at Sunhye’s expression. He reaches out and squeezes Sunhye’s shoulder, “Hey, I’m sure he’s okay. I didn’t want to freak you out. I’m sure he’s just visiting his family or something.”

“Uh, yeah.” Sunhye nods.

“Text me when you hear something, okay?” Jongin looks concerned, as if he doesn’t want to leave her, but he steps back after a moment, slowly walking away.

Her heart slams against her ribs as she fiddles with her phone, instantly calling Yixing. She’s sent straight to voicemail. Her heart leaps in her chest at his voicemail recording, his soft languid voice she hasn’t heard for days. Maybe his phone’s dead and he’s just heartbroken, like she is, and that’s why he hasn’t been showing up to work or class. She did that for days until Irene and Seulgi practically dragged her out of her apartment.

Slowly, she scrolls through her contacts until she lands on Jongdae. She knows he’s the only person Yixing would ever ask to stay with. They were roommates first year of university and though Sunhye doesn’t see Jongdae too often anymore because of their conflicting schedules, Yixing and Jongdae hang out whenever they can. Sunhye’s heart is lodged in because she knows Yixing would have told Jongdae every detail and Jongdae’s threats when she and Yixing first got together lingers in Sunhye’s mind. Unlike everyone else, Jongdae won’t spare her feelings.

Jongdae picks up on the third ring, voice languid and rough as if he’s just woken up from a nap. “Sunhye?”

Sunhye winces a little at the way he says her name. It’s not unkind, but neither is it warm like it usually is. “Hey, Dae. I’m sorry for bothering you, it’s just—have you seen Yixing?”

She can hear the frown in Jongdae’s tone. “He crashed on my couch for a few days and told me—well, you know why obviously.” Jongdae’s voice is filled with an edge that makes her fidget with her phone. Then Jongdae sighs and continues, tone carefully neutral, “But, he decided he was going to go home two days ago. Have you not…have you not seen him yet?”

Worry laces his voice, near the end, matching the anxiety curling up at the pit of her stomach.

“N—no.” She squeaks, taking in the new information. Yixing was going to come back. That revelation sends a wave of relief through her. But then, dread fills her up again. If he was supposed to come back home two days ago, then where is he now? Her instincts tell her that there is something wrong, something terribly wrong. But, of course, she could be overthinking this, like usual. It could just be her frayed nerves and her anxiety.

“.” Jongdae sounds more alert, more like he usually does when he speaks to her, when he says, “I’ll try and figure it out. I—Sunhye, I’m sure he’s okay. He’s not the type to just…leave, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I know.” She mumbles and doesn’t mention that that’s why the dread in her chest feels so suffocating. She tacks on, “I…Thanks, Dae. Really.”

Jongdae hums, his response a noncommittal noise, and she thinks he’ll hang up. Instead, he says, very slowly, “After we figure out where Yixing went, can you text me when you’re free? I think it’s about time we catch up.”

There is a protective undercurrent in his voice. She smiles a little, because it reminds her so much of when she and Yixing first got together and Jongdae pulled her aside to talk. She’s also nervous, though she knows this was coming. She messed up and whatever Jongdae wants to tell her, to her face, is something she has to hear. Still, she takes a deep breath and murmurs, her tone deflated even to her own ears, “I, um, I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” Jongdae responds.

“Bye, Dae.”

“Bye, Hye.” She blinks at his usual affectionate nickname—he must not be as mad at her as she thought he’d be. He hangs up before she can say anything and her thoughts hurl onto Yixing and his possible whereabouts.

She knows, deep in her gut, that there is something terribly wrong with this situation. Even if Yixing decided to leave Jongdae’s to crash at someone else’s place, he wouldn’t skip work nor school. He loves dancing and he loves his students too much to do that. His work ethic is so rigid she’s had to literally sit on him to keep him from overworking himself before. He could be making an impromptu visit to family, but he has no family in Korea to visit. He has family back in Changsha, but he wouldn’t suddenly disappear to China, would he? He’d at least tell her first, wouldn’t he, despite everything? He’d at least tell Jongdae, if he’s still mad at her, wouldn’t he?

Her stomach churns and her skin crawls, and she finds she is scrolling through her contacts, pressing call before she can think twice.

“Sunny?” Baekhyun’s voice is low, raspy, tired. She’s almost surprised at his lack of a curse word the minute he answers the phone, like he’d usually do whenever she or Yixing call him.

She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to say. There’s a lot to unpack. There’s a lot of uncertainty. Yixing could be hurt somewhere, or worse, and they wouldn’t even know. She takes a deep breath and Baekhyun waits patiently for her to pull her thoughts and words together on the other end of the line.

After a moment, she wades through the jumbled river of thoughts rushing through her mind, the anxiety rearing its head at her, screeching and clawing at the confines of her mind, one she imagines is probably similar to an office on fire. She whispers, “I think Yixing is in trouble.”

Her voice is breathless, surprisingly steady, but high-pitched.

There’s a pause before Baekhyun says, “You’re at the university, right?”

(She’s surprised he doesn’t even question her. Her heart beats faster at that.)

“Yes.” She nods even though he can’t see her. “Near the performing arts building.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Okay.” She murmurs, adding in quietly, unable to hide the crack in her voice, “Please, hurry.”

She doesn’t think he’ll hear her, but he’s a vampire. He replies, voice low, reassuring, “I’ll make it five minutes, okay? Hang on.”

And then the line goes dead.

~.~.~.~.~

One minute, she’s alone, sitting on one of the benches outside her university, fingers clasped together tightly in her lap, and the next minute, she glimpses a pair of familiar sneakers right in front of her and pretty fingers hesitate for just a brief moment before they land on top of her curled fists.

She blinks, glancing between the fingers gently detangling her fingers, one finger at a time, up to Baekhyun kneeling in front of her, his brows furrowed as he focuses on the task he seems so determined to do.

She realizes why he’s so determined with this task: her fingers are so tightly curled, her fingernails are digging into her skin, reddening the skin. She’s so close to breaking skin and he can sense it.

He murmurs, voice low, throaty, gentle, so gentle, “You’ll hurt yourself.”

She lets him peel her fingers apart, lets him settle his own fingers in the gaps between hers, lets him comfort her, despite everything, because she is so ing scared and she doesn’t know if Yixing is okay and her phone remains silent in her lap.

The silence that engulfs them feels different. In this silence, he is somehow anciently patient, somehow an anchor that is keeping her grounded, but, at the same time, she can tell that there is a stiffness to his shoulders, a furrow to his brows, a gaunt, haunted look in his eyes. He is just as worried for Yixing as she is. He’s just better at hiding it. She figures that’s what centuries of being vampire has gifted him.

So, in order to ease his mind, just a bit, she tells him what happened, what Jongin had said, what Jongdae had said, as well. She tells him, “I know I overthink things and trusting my gut never really ends well for me, but, Baekhyun, something is wrong.”

Baekhyun is a whole head lower than her and when he finally looks up at her, his cold hands gripping her fingers tightly, there is a knowing look in his eyes, a look that confirms her worst fears, confirms that, for once, her anxiety is not unfounded. She wishes, this one time, that it would have turned out that way.

Baekhyun’s gaze darts between her wide eyes before he sighs and stares up at the gloomy sky, squeezing her hands, his shoulders slumping. It looks as if the weight of the world has been dropped on his shoulders and he is buckling from the weight of it all. She wants to help him stay upright. She doesn’t like seeing him look like this, so vulnerable, so exhausted.

“I wanted to tell you both, but then—” Baekhyun swallows his words, meeting her gaze again, and there is determination there, deep in his eyes, “Then everything went to because I ing lost control. And you looked so sad and Yixing didn’t—he refused to speak to me. I wanted to tell you, but, , I just kept putting it off, because—”

Sunhye stares, “Tell us what?”

Slowly, Baekhyun untangles his fingers from hers. Slowly, Baekhyun drags a hand through his hair as he digs into his jacket pocket, and she can finally make out the emotion dominating his features. Guilt and anger. He is drowning in guilt and anger, red eyes full to the brim with it. She blinks, watching as he straightens up, now looming over her. He blinks down at her, once, twice, and she wonders why he looks at her like that—like he won’t be able to look at her this way ever again.

Then he averts his gaze, scrolling through his phone for a moment, before he flips it over and holds it out to her.

Her heart races as she meets his gaze.

He says, “When you live as long as I do, you’re bound to make enemies.” He nods to her, his red eyes so soft, so filled with guilt, so tired. “Take it.”

She takes his phone, peering down at the screen. At first, she doesn’t process what she’s looking at. It’s a text message thread, from an unsaved contact. There are texts and there are pictures.

The pictures catch her eye. Her heart stops for a moment when she taps on them and looks closely.

There’s a grainy picture of the stairs of her apartment, of a retreating back going up the stairs that she recognizes as herself because of bright scrunchie she had used to tie up her hair. Another of Yixing and her standing at the bus stop, taken from across the street. Another of the grocery store. Of Yixing holding one of Baekhyun’s hands and staring at his outstretched palms—Yixing had had a palm reading phase a couple years ago and she assumes that’s why he’s looking so intently at Baekhyun’s palms—while Baekhyun looks down at Yixing’s bowed head, a smile plastered across his face that is so wide, so positively bright, that it makes her chest ache at the fondness there, at the fact that it’s supposed to be secret. There are so many. She just starts scrolling down the text message thread, scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, and her heart lodges itself in because there so many ing pictures of her and of Yixing and of the two of them, sometimes with Baekhyun. She scrolls back up, reading the texts.

“‘Should you be letting your pretty playthings wander around like this, Baekhyunnie?’” She reads aloud, her voice hoarse, a bitter taste on her tongue. She scrolls, reads, “‘I could snatch this one up so easily and then you’d never see her again.’”

Do you think the A/C unit broke on its own?

You will never know when I’ll take them away from you.

You will live in constant fear.

You won’t know which one I’ll come for. Maybe the girl. Or maybe the boy?

It’s what you deserve, you know.

When you find them with their pretty throats torn apart? When you least expect it?

Then you will understand.

She’s crying, bile rising inside her. She looks up at Baekhyun, through blurred vision, and he is tugging at his hair, blinking down at her with so much guilt and anger in his eyes, anger, she realizes, that is directed mostly at himself. She can’t help but imagine Yixing alone somewhere, someone hurting him, someone threatening to cut out his throat. A sob rips through her chest and Baekhyun wavers, his fingers curling, his eyes soft and pained, so ing pained.

“That means—whoever this is—they—”

“I’m so sorry. I’m so ing sorry. It’s all my fault. It’s all my ing fault.” He whispers, leaning close, finally touching her, the pads of his fingers light as he brushes away all her tears, murmurs I’m sorry over and over as if he thinks she’s blaming him somehow.

She can’t tell him she doesn’t blame him because her words are stuck in and she can’t stop imagining Yixing in a pool of his own blood and—

His phone vibrates in her lap. She holds it out to him, but he just murmurs his password to her. She types it in, breathing a little ragged, and she opens the message—from that unsaved number.

It’s a photograph of Yixing, head lolled to the side, tied to a chair in the middle of a warehouse-type of building. There is a bright, fluorescent light shining on him, like a spotlight, illuminating his swollen black eye and torn shirt, the strange angle to his leg.

The text reads, I’m sure you know where I am. You must recognize this place. But will you be fast enough, Baekhyunnie?

She stares at the phone before she looks up at Baekhyun. His red eyes are wild, feral almost, filled with an intense anger she has never seen on his face before. It scares her.

“I’m going to save him.” Baekhyun tells her, with so much steely determination, his grip on her face tightening slightly. He looks her dead in the eye, and he says, “I’m going to fix this. I will bring Yixing back alive.”

All she can do is nod, is breathe out an, “Okay.”

~.~.~.~.~

“I’m going with you.”

“No, you’re ing not.” Baekhyun stares at her, stares her down, really, his lips twisted into a frown. She refuses to unbuckle her seatbelt, gaze unwavering as she holds Baekhyun’s glare. “Sunhye. This is dangerous.”

“I am not going to just sit back and wait this out. I can’t.” Sunhye crosses her arms over her chest.

“And what if something happens to you, too?” Baekhyun is so very quiet, though still frowning. He doesn’t look quite angry anymore, just afraid. She doesn’t like that look on him either. “I can’t—I won’t lose both of you tonight.”

Her heart jumps at his words. She responds, “Neither can I. Neither will I.”

There’s a long, long pause, where Baekhyun just stares at her, his eyes filled with fire. A different her might have backed down, but this is Yixing. This is Baekhyun. She’s not going to back down. She thinks she’ll lose her mind, drown in her thoughts, if she’s left to sit at home and wait for Baekhyun to return, not knowing if he might, if Yixing might.

She wonders if Baekhyun will make her stay back anyway. He could do it. He has super strength.

She lifts her chin, still staring at him.

He sighs.

She watches as he leans forward, face inches from hers, and pops open the glove compartment. He pulls out a taser and a small, sheathed dagger. She blinks, not even bothering to hide her surprise. The taser has a mark etched onto its hilt, similar to the dagger. He drops both items into her lap, his jaw pulled taut with annoyance. “Fine, but you will stay hidden and out of sight. Do you understand me?”

Sunhye just gingerly lifts the dagger in her lap, slowly unsheathing it, her eyes widening at how the blade is covered in tiny lettering and as white as bone. It almost looks like bone. She doesn’t know much about the supernatural or magic, but even she can sense a strong presence surrounding the taser and the dagger, especially the dagger. “Have you been hiding these in your glove compartment this whole time?”

“Yes.” He bites out. She tries not to wince at the clear irritation lacing his tone. “Now, look at me and promise me that you will stay back and out of sight. These are for you to use just in case, but—” She tears her eyes off the weapons in her lap, her fingers trembling just a tiny bit, just to meet Baekhyun’s tender, worried eyes. He reaches out and brushes back a strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear, eyes searching hers carefully, “I don’t want you to have to get to a point where you have to use these. They’ve been runed and they’re very powerful, so you have to be careful with them.”

“I don’t even know how to use these.” She whispers, “Maybe, the magical taser thing. It’s just aiming and then pressing a button, but the knife…I…”

“I’ll make sure you won’t have to use these.” Baekhyun decides.

There’s a lingering silence between them, one where Baekhyun looks so very determined, so very protective, and her fingers curl around the weapons in her lap. She’s the one to break the silence, the anxiety blanketing over both of them, trying to lessen everything, even just a little.

“What other magical items do you hide in your car? Do you have a cross in here? Stakes? Holy water?” She mumbles, smiling half-heartedly.

Baekhyun lets out a tiny, strangled laugh, tugging at a strand of her hair lightly, before he backs out of the parking spot in front of her building.

~.~.~.~.~

She is currently crouched behind a piled of wooden crates, peeking through the cracks, watching as Baekhyun steps closer and closer to the center of the warehouse. She can make out a figure, slumped in the center of the warehouse. Her brain supplies: Yixing. Her heart feels like it’ll stop beating.

She grips the taser so tightly, her knuckles are turning white, and she can feel the presence of the magical bone dagger against her hips, hidden under Baekhyun’s jacket that he had tucked her into before he had told her to follow him, his eyes lingering on her face, worry etched into every line, every feature, even as he turned away from her. The last thing she had seen, before he turned away, was his red eyes filling with fury, the embodiment of fire and bloodlust.

She crept around the crates, hiding behind a smaller pile of crates right up ahead, just to get a better view of the slumped figure. She was crouched there, inching forwards slowly, squinting, when suddenly Baekhyun is thrown back with a huge bang and she presses her fingers to her lips to keep from shouting out.

Baekhyun hits the warehouse floor hard, just as someone appears, as if from thin air, right in front of where Yixing is slumped against the chair.

From this angle, she can see the man perfectly. He is short, but he is sturdy, his eyes big and black, so black they look like black holes, even from here. Smoke curls up from beneath his feet, from his fingertips, black lines creeping up his skin, along his neck, disappearing under his cloak. The energy that radiates off him reminds her of the dagger sheathed at her hip. Her heart slams against her ribs.

(There is something so…haunting about this creature. She doesn’t know what it is, but it almost makes her want to cry, out of empathy, they same way she had with Baekhyun in his apartment, when she really thought of his loneliness.)

Baekhyun’s body blurs with how fast he moves. One second, he’s sprawled on the floor, and then the next, he’s tackling the man to the ground. She can’t see his face, but the way he has his head tilted back tells Sunhye that Baekhyun is planning on tearing this man’s throat out with his own teeth.

(She’s forgotten how much of a vampire Baekhyun is. She’s forgotten.)

Baekhyun screeches when black fire shoots up between them, scurrying back. His body is angled sideways, in Yixing’s direction.

The man laughs and the sound is so hollow, it terrifies Sunhye.

Sunhye should have known that she wouldn’t be able to stand back, not really. Not when Yixing seems to stir, not when it looks like Baekhyun’s going to have a hard time with this man, not when she hears Yixing’s croaky voice echo through the warehouse, “B—Baek, you came?”

He sounds so surprised, so worried, too worried for the person who is tied to a chair.

“Of course I ing did.” Baekhyun growls out instantly.

Yixing lets out a rough chuckle.

Baekhyun stiffens. She can see it from all the way over here.

The man throws his head back and cackles. The dagger at her side vibrates at the sound, at the waves of energy emanating from the man. “Isn’t this a sweet exchange?”

“What do you ing want, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun grits out.

Sunhye knows, right then, that this man—Kyungsoo—will be preoccupied by Baekhyun and will use Yixing as a way to keep Baekhyun from truly focusing on fighting Kyungsoo. Someone needs to get Yixing out of there, so that Baekhyun can focus on kicking this Kyungsoo’s .

Someone needs to get Yixing out of there.

Sunhye glances around her, takes in all the crates, the fact that the piles thin out the closer to the center one gets. She could be seen. She could get caught.

She doesn’t care.

Slowly, she backs away from the edge, taking a deep breath as she makes her way behind Yixing, behind Kyungsoo.

She can hear Kyungsoo speaking, his voice echoing, bouncing off the walls. “I want you to suffer like you’ve made me suffer. Didn’t I tell you this already?”

“It’s been centuries, Kyungsoo. Let it the go.” Baekhyun grits out.

There’s a pause as she scurries sideways, peeking through the gaps, not able to see Baekhyun staring up at Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo floating in the air, scowling down at Baekhyun, his robes billowing all around him.

Kyungsoo hovers and stares and murmurs, “No.”

Then he snaps his fingers.

Yixing screams.

She nearly slips in horror at the sound, at the shrill, piercing, foreign sound that overtakes everything.

She clutches one of the wooden crates, watches as Baekhyun’s expression cracks, as he lunges at Kyungsoo, punches him so hard in the face that she hears a crack.

Kyungsoo laughs. “Finally, I’ve found someone that’ll hurt you as much as you hurt me.”

Kyungsoo is laughing while Baekhyun lands sickening punch after punch on his face, until Baekhyun pulls himself away, tries to make his way to Yixing and his leg—it floats and twists strangely, as if an invisible person is holding it, breaking it—but then there’s a snapping sound—Kyungsoo snaps his fingers—and Baekhyun is yanked back and thrown against the crates she had been hiding behind earlier. Baekhyun looks around, as if he’s realized that as well. Kyungsoo snaps another finger and there’s another nauseating crunch of bone breaking. Baekhyun’s knee buckles.

(The dagger at her side burns, reminding her of her self-appointed task. She needs to do it. Baekhyun is only focused on getting to Yixing and Kyungsoo is using it to his advantage.)

“Finally you can hear exactly what her dying breaths sounded like and you can feel what it was like having to lay there, broken, unable to do a thing about it.” Kyungsoo hisses.

Sunhye stumbles as she runs, remaining crouched, weaves from crate to crate, tries and tries to ignore the screaming, though it’s hard. Baekhyun perseveres, she notices, eyes pinned on Yixing and only Yixing. Yixing’s cries are something she’s never ever heard before. They will haunt her, she thinks, for the rest of her life.

Kyungsoo comes so close to Yixing, his back turned to her, and places a hand on the back of Yixing’s neck. Baekhyun sprints, disappearing and reappearing, only to get thrown into a black hole type of magic that spits him out elsewhere. Baekhyun looks so desperate.

She can’t just stand back.

Baekhyun meets her gaze, when she steps out from behind one of the crates. His red eyes widen. He looks as if he will cry, as if his whole world is close to imploding in on itself and he is forced to witness it.

She’s just focused on the fingers curled around Yixing’s neck, anger raging inside her as she sprints, her footsteps light, ignoring the dizzy feeling in her head. She sprints, pulls out her taser, and she screams, “Get the away from him.”

There’s a burning sound as the taser unlatches itself and hits Kyungsoo square in the back, before he can turn or snap his fingers. He jolts, his body flailing, and he slips, hitting the ground hard. She scrambles to Yixing’s side, letting the taser drop to the ground as she yanks the chair, the sound of the chair’s legging scraping against the ground loud, grunting at Yixing’s weight, wishing he’d work out less so he wasn’t so freaking heavy. She just wants to pull Yixing as far away from this Kyungsoo as ing possible.

“Oh my God, Sunhye, I ing told you to stay hidden.” Baekhyun sounds exasperated.

She ignores him, opting to brush her hands through Yixing’s sweaty, matted hair, pushing it back so she can see his eyes. One of them is swollen shut and the other droops, from exhaustion or pain, she isn’t sure. His mouth moves but there is no sound coming out. She’s frantic as she reaches for the ties, her fingers shaking as she tries to untie him. It doesn’t work. She brushes his hair back, murmurs, “I’m here, I’m here, okay.”

Yixing groans.

She can barely register cold hands holding her waist, the chair easily sliding far, far away from Kyungsoo’s sprawled out form. The taser is still going and she wonders if that’s what the magic had modified it to do.

Baekhyun easily tears the rope off, but he says, “Don’t move him. His leg’s broken.”

She glances over her shoulder at him, to thank him, when her eyes widen, because—

Baekhyun gasps as he’s practically plucked out from in front of her and tossed aside, like a rag doll.

Kyungsoo floats above her and he is filled with all the rage of a thousand storms. His anger makes the atmosphere heavier, so heavy, her knees buckle at the energy pressing down on her.

Her palms scrape against the floor as she catches herself, looking up, just as Kyungsoo gently lands right in front of her, staring down at her, regarding her with pure black eyes, with a gaze that tells her that he sees her as incredibly inferior, as worse than dirt.

She scrambles back, angling her body in front of Yixing, arms outstretched despite the pressure and strength of his magic pushing down on her, forcing her to submit. No matter what, she’s going to protect Yixing.

Kyungsoo stares at her for much too long, his black eyes narrowing, before he suddenly reaches down and yanks her up by the hair. She tries to knee him in the groin.

He watches her flail as he spins with her in his grip, so easily as if she is nothing more than a sack of rice.

Baekhyun is standing there, legs spread, fangs bared, eyes red as blood, chest heaving.

Kyungsoo lifts her head, pulling her up on her knees, jerking at strands of her hair so roughly, her scalp screams in pain.

“I thought she looked familiar, Baekhyunnie.”

“Let her go.” Baekhyun’s voice is low, controlled, but she can hear the fear there.

Kyungsoo leans close, using his other hand to grip at Sunhye’s jaw, twisting her face back and forth as he stares. “There are certainly similarities.” He yanks her back, her neck stretched at an angle that hurts badly. Still, Sunhye doesn’t flinch, just meets Kyungsoo’s gaze with defiant eyes, despite the terror breeding inside her, “You look so much like her, sweetheart, did you know that? But, you also look so different. The eyes are wrong. The lips are off. That look in your eyes, though—” Kyungsoo tosses Sunhye onto the floor, scoffing in disgust as he turns his palm in her direction. She’s afraid to move, afraid of what kind of magic he will unleash on her.

Kyungsoo turns to Baekhyun and roars, “So that’s what you’ve been doing all this time, huh? You think you can somehow do right by her by turning some poor knockoff doppelganger into your charity case? You think it’s that easy to clear your conscience? You think you deserve that chance? You piss me off.”

The dagger at her side burns with how hot it gets. Kyungsoo turns his palm on Baekhyun, slowly curling his fingers into a fist, and Baekhyun crumbles, face twisting.

Sunhye doesn’t think when she pulls open her jacket and grabs the dagger, she doesn’t think, just acts. She lunges at Kyungsoo with the bony dagger and it pierces through him so easily. Kyungsoo screams, turns on her, hitting her so hard across the face, she sees stars.

But then, something peculiar happens.

Kyungsoo blinks, his black eyes widening, before the black smoke and fire emanating from him seems to billow up, up, up coupled with a high-pitched scream that only gets higher and higher, until she has to clasp her hands over her ears. His eyes roll back and he just drops to the ground.

He just drops and the high pitched keening comes to a sudden halt, everything around them engulfed in pure silence. Kyungsoo isn’t moving, though the black lines snaking along his skin, just under his skin, seems to have disappeared.

There’s a soft pop and his body turns to ash, collapsing. She blinks. The dagger is gone.

She looks up. Baekhyun is staring at Kyungsoo’s ashes.

He looks guilty and sad, anciently sad, as if he’s wrapped up in several centuries worth of memories.

(He is, she knows. She heard Kyungsoo’s words. He is.)

Yixing groans, weak and low.

Baekhyun snaps out of it, suddenly at their side.

They are silent as Baekhyun gently tucks Yixing into his chest, angling his leg upwards so it isn’t jostled. Baekhyun cards his pretty fingers through Yixing’s hair, murmuring something Sunhye can't make out into Yixing's ear, and Sunhye holds Yixing’s hands tight. She doesn’t question him when he says that he knows someone who can fix Yixing up.

She doesn’t flinch when they arrive at Baekhyun’s apartment and that someone is already there, a tall stoic faced man with an ethereal aura settled all around him and what she thinks might be wings, translucent and glittering under the dim kitchen lighting, waiting for them.

She doesn’t say anything until the man—Sehun was what he introduced himself as—disappears into Baekhyun's bedroom with a half unconscious Yixing, shutting the door gently behind him, and Baekhyun turns to her and just looks at her, emotions welling up in his eyes, mouth opening and closing.

That’s when she says, “You don’t have to explain now.”

Baekhyun cries, for the first time, in front of her.

For the first time, every single wall he’s built over the last few centuries crumbles before her, leaving a man who is too full of sadness, too jaded, too young really. He folds in on himself and all she can think to do is wrap her arms around him and hold him close, just be there for him, his body shaking violently with the force of his tears.

~.~.~.~.~

She thanks Sehun profusely when he finally exits the bedroom and he tells them that he managed to speed up the healing to the point where Yixing’s ankle will be just a little sprained. She keeps bowing until Sehun tells her to stop, quite bluntly, frowning at her all the while, though his crystalline eyes are sympathetic.

Still, she bows one last time, watching him wave a hand, a shimmering, glittery portal forming in the kitchen. She watches Sehun give Baekhyun a quick kiss on the cheek before he steps into the portal and disappears.

She watches Baekhyun shuffle into his bedroom a moment later.

Her stomach churns as she follows after him.

Yixing is lying there, hair still sweaty and matted, eyes heavy with sleep, but otherwise more alive, less pale, so much more alive. He looks much better. His swollen eye is gone.

“Faeries are excellent healers.” Baekhyun explains to her. She notices he doesn’t meet her eyes, tone subdued.

“I feel high.” Yixing mumbles, voice languid, a dopey smile spreading across his lips as his gaze flickers from Baekhyun to Sunhye. “Not that I know what being high is like, in case the federal agent is listening through the phone. That’s super illegal.”

Sunhye can’t help but laugh. Baekhyun smiles. She watches as Yixing reaches out and squeezes Baekhyun’s fingers in his.

Baekhyun’s shoulders relax. Sunhye watches from the door, feeling left out. At least until Yixing pats the other side of Baekhyun’s big bed, meeting her gaze as he does so.

She doesn’t refuse him, but this time she’s the one who can’t meet Yixing’s gaze. She sits beside him, stiff, but Yixing just plays with the loose hair down her back. They are quiet for a long long time until Baekhyun finally breaks the silence.

“I think I owe you both an explanation.”

Sunhye wants to shake her head, wants him to take his time, but Yixing is the one to dip his head and croak out, “Hell yeah, you do.”

~.~.~.~.~

When Baekhyun was a small child, still so human and soft and full of life, he met a girl named Hayun. He liked to call her Yun because he thought it suited her well. Her smile was so bright, just like sunshine, her namesake, and it’d blind him sometimes. It certainly made all the adults around them break into tired smiles, whenever she’d skip through the fields and offer water or snacks, a bright smile playing on her lips.

They liked the other’s company right off the bat. Baekhyun thought Yun made a wonderful tree-climbing partner and Yun declared Baekhyun the perfect person to practice her pretend sword-fighting on. This meant Baekhyun got to climb trees and watch Yun struggle to reach him, laughing when she’d fall onto her from the lowest hanging branch. In turn, Yun retaliated by smacking him with sticks any chance she got.

As time passed, they became best friends.

Everyone in the village believed they would marry each other. Sometimes, when Baekhyun looks back on his memories of Yun, how her smile would always make him smile, how the sun would leave delicate freckles along her nose and cheeks, how he felt when they snuck a vial of alcohol to the field near the windmill and discussed their futures under the brightest stars, he thought that it made sense. They were obviously soulmates. They worked well with each other, played off each other’s bantering so easily. He could read her like a book, noticed the slightest falters in her expressions, and she knew when he’d need time for himself, away from making everyone around them laugh, just so he’d feel important and needed and loved. They were soulmates. But they were not in love. They were best friends.

(The other villagers used to scoff at them when they insisted that their love was only platonic. Men and women could never just be friends, they’d say. Yun would roll her eyes and Baekhyun would snicker.)

The villagers watched in disbelief as Yun met a man from across the river, a handsome, hardworking farmer with a heart of gold and a dry sense of humor. Do Kyungsoo. The villagers watched in disbelief as Yun looked at him with love in her eyes, as this Kyungsoo treated her with such care that Baekhyun’s skepticism of Kyungsoo’s intentions seemed to dissipate overnight. Yun fell in love with Do Kyungsoo and the villagers could not believe that Baekhyun seemed to take it all in stride, that Baekhyun even took it upon himself to oversee their marriage preparations as if Kyungsoo was his own brother or Yun was his own sister. Baekhyun saw them both as such, yet no one seemed to really believe him, aside from Yun and Kyungsoo.

At nineteen years old, Baekhyun watched his best friend marry the sweetest man he could have ever hoped she’d find.

At nineteen years old, Baekhyun had pulled Kyungsoo aside and said, “Hurt her and you will end up as nothing but fertilizer. Not even the Gods can help you.”

Kyungsoo had just laughed at Baekhyun. Yun had jabbed Baekhyun in his ribs, glaring. Baekhyun was not in love with her, but he loved her so very much.

At twenty years old, Baekhyun headed to the palace to study to become a civil servant.

At twenty years old, Baekhyun caught the eye of a strange nobleman with a lovely smile and mysterious eyes. He did not think much of it, though his stomach fluttered whenever he saw him, like it had whenever Baekhyun caught glimpses of some of the prettiest court ladies.

On his twenty second birthday, just after finally passing the test, Baekhyun went out drinking with some colleagues to celebrate. Later that night, the nobleman stood waiting for him near the gates of Baekhyun's temporary home, his eyes shining, smirk dripping, inviting, sultry, and Baekhyun, fueled by alcohol, dared to invited him.

At twenty-two, Byun Baekhyun was murdered and brought back to life as a vampire.

At twenty-two, Baekhyun broke every rule he ever set for himself. He set out to become a civil servant to better himself and allow his family a better, steadier income. He wanted to become the governor of his small village and fix the wrongs of the previous governors. He wanted to, then, find someone to marry and settle down with. He wanted to live a good, steady life and pass away peacefully surrounded by those he loved. Instead, he returned to his village with a strange itch in his throat and the first time he set his eyes on Yun’s newborn daughter, he had a terrible urge to taste her blood, both their bloods.

At twenty-two, he found himself at that nobleman’s doorstep, on his knees, begging for a way to end his life. Instead, the nobleman introduced him to others just like him, though more jaded than he could ever be and more bloodthirsty. They took and they killed, and they did not feel guilt. He let that take him over. He joined an organization that did not care for him, that did not consider him much of anything except disposable and easily manipulated. He had people to lose and they held it over his head. Except he did not care. He enjoyed the blood and , the willing concubines, the taboo, too damn much.

At twenty-three, Yun seated herself across from Baekhyun, eyes too knowing, full to the brim with too much knowledge of him, reminding him of who he used to be, and she whispered, “You’ve changed.”

He always made sure to visit his village only after feeding well the night before. He did not want to risk a slip-up.

(Maybe, he did not want to risk disappointment nor fear in his family’s eyes.

Yet it’s there.)

Yun whispered, “Your eyes are red.”

At twenty-three, he finally told someone. He told Yun. She cried for him for hours and he did not understand.

At twenty-four, he tried to leave the organization. He tried to disappear. The last time he spoke to Yun, her youngest son lay nuzzled against her and her daughter played with his fingers, and he reveled in these children, children that are not his own but Kyungsoo and Yun declared his niece and nephew the moment they were born, and he whispered to her that he would travel West. That he was not planning on returning. Yun looked at him with sad, understanding eyes and that smile that always set him at ease. She told him, “I’ll miss you, Baek.”

Kyungsoo stood by the door and said, “Me, too. Who else will teach the kids to act like such brats?”

Baekhyun had grinned, “I’m sure Yun will take over for me.”

Yun had laughed. Baekhyun had pretended she wasn’t crying.

At twenty-five, he was thrown off his bed with such force, he heard some of his bones crack at the impact. At twenty-five, he was struck dumb at the sight of a furious Kyungsoo hovering over him, dark, demonic magic seeping from his pores, clawing at his insides, ripping Baekhyun’s dead heart to pieces.

At twenty-five, he was promised an eternity of torture, he was told, in excruciating, gory detail, of the death of his best friend, the death of his niece and nephew, of how Kyungsoo was made to watch, limbs broken, unable to move, told he would die last unless he told them where Baekhyun had gone, of how Kyungsoo had begged and begged until the Gods seemed to take pity on him and granted him immense power, power that could not save Yun or their children, just himself, power that Baekhyun knew to be evil demonic energy that would consume Kyungsoo until he was just a husk of who he once was, consumed by the prospect of revenge and death. Kyungsoo promised him torture, disappeared before he was one twist away from killing Baekhyun, and Baekhyun had always wondered if he imagined the kind, chestnut brown eyes peeking through pure black in that moment of hesitation. Baekhyun was left to pick up the pieces of himself, except he never managed.

Baekhyun had stopped counting the years after that. He didn’t think it mattered.

He doesn’t know when, somewhere between meeting Park Chanyeol, the worst werewolf to ever exist in history, and Oh Sehun, the faerie medic who inexplicably took a liking to Baekhyun and Chanyeol, Baekhyun had acquired a dagger, made from Kyungsoo’s demon’s essence, runed with powerful magic. Sehun told him it was the only weapon that could ever kill Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun kept the weapon close for centuries. Yet, every time Kyungsoo reappeared in his life, every time he tried to kill someone Baekhyun had grown close to, just to hurt Baekhyun, Baekhyun could never find it in him to use the weapon on Kyungsoo. Even Kyungsoo knew this. Instead, Baekhyun just watched as he was consumed, further and further, until he became nearly unrecognizable, a revenge spirit consumed by darkness. Even then, Baekhyun could not kill him. Maybe, Baekhyun believed he deserved this eternity of punishment. Maybe, Baekhyun just could not stand to see the last connection to his human life die, by his hands as well.

Baekhyun had no idea how old he was, when he saw Yun’s smile beaming back at him across a dingy club in Seoul, centuries later. For some inexplicable reason, he really wished he did.

~.~.~.~.~

“So, that’s the real reason.” Yixing is the one to whisper it, his voice hoarse, his eyes pinned on Baekhyun.

Sunhye’s chest feels tight. It’s strange, to know that she looks so similar to someone who lived so long ago, enough to remind Baekhyun of his past, enough for him to want to take care of her so suddenly. He had said, so easily, that he never felt any romantic feelings for the girl—for Yun—but Sunhye still feels strange. Her thoughts can’t help but veer into territory it shouldn’t veer into. She can’t help but wonder if the only reason why Baekhyun developed any kind of feelings for her was because of nostalgia, because he missed his best friend, because he wanted to do right by her this second time.

Her heart drops to her stomach at that train of thought. She hates that that’s what she latched onto first. There was so much else to the story, so much that explained Baekhyun’s guilt, why he was so closed off. He’s been through so much and Sunhye just wants to wrap him up in a blanket and tell him everything will be okay. He’s been through too much. She killed his last connection to his past, even if that connection was just a horrible caricature of what Do Kyungsoo once was.

There’s no time, no reason, to talk about his feelings. She imagines they must be confusing. So she decides she will ignore the slight hurt. She will address it later, when Baekhyun gets time to heal.

A hand lands on her knee and she blinks, startled out of her thoughts. Her gaze drifts from the hand resting on her knee to Baekhyun’s face. He looks so very sincere when he says, “I want you to understand that you’re nothing like her. Like—like Kyungsoo said. You really don’t look that similar. There are differences that I lo—” He coughs, looking away, seemingly embarrassed, before he says, “You’re your own person, Sunhye. And I got to know that person and I like her very much. You’re not her. You’re just Sunhye.”

The tension ebbs out of her, just a bit. She can’t help the small smile at his reassurance, at the fact that she has nothing to compare herself to. Her brain will do it, irrationally so, but at least she is aware that Baekhyun doesn’t just see her as a replacement for his best friend. She really hopes that’s exactly what he means.

There’s a hand at her back, rubbing up and down. She looks down at Yixing. He is smiling, dimple faint. As she studies his face, she’s forgotten how much she’s missed him.

~.~.~.~.~

Despite Sunhye and Baekhyun’s constant fretting over Yixing, Yixing doesn’t really say anything about, well, anything. Sunhye texts Jongdae and Jongin that Yixing is fine, he’s just sprained his ankle while drinking alone and was kept at a hospital. They had spent one evening making up that story before Sunhye had texted. After speaking to Yixing on the phone, Jongdae reminds her that they should meet up soon and Sunhye dreads being yelled at.

Despite how Yixing gestures for her to sit next to him on the bed, despite how Yixing spreads bruise cream over the bruise on her face she never noticed until he pointed it out because she was so busy fussing over Yixing and Baekhyun, despite everything, Yixing doesn’t say anything about walking out on her, about her admitting she kissed Baekhyun, about how upset he had been.

Yixing goes back to classes, limping slightly, acting as normal as ever, and Baekhyun just shrugs whenever Sunhye gives him a confused look.

The tension between the three of them grows. Yixing maintains his strange silence on the matter.

At this rate, Sunhye’s going to pull her hair out.

~.~.~.~.~

Irene glances between Yixing and Sunhye. The gap between them is strange. She knows it is, because though they aren’t the type to constantly display their affections in public, they’re always touching, whether it’s their thighs or arms or Yixing leaving a hand on her thigh or Sunhye hooking an arm through his elbow.

Irene’s not the one to say anything, though Irene does level her with a what the is going on type of eyebrow raise.

Instead, Eunwoo waves a spoon at between them, eyes narrowing slightly, “Did you guys break up?”

It’s blunt and to-the-point. Sunhye scowls at Eunwoo, who raises his hands in a placating manner. Jaehyun rolls his eyes and just grabs a spoonful of his own frozen yogurt before promptly sticking it in Eunwoo’s open mouth before he can say anything else.

“No.” Yixing is the one to respond, so casually as he lifts his cup and scrapes the sides. He’s still not touching her. He's still not looking at her. She blinks at him, unable to hide her surprise at his words, which only makes things worse. Eunwoo gestures wildly at her expression, waving both his and Jaehyun's spoons at them, mouth opening to say something. Jaehyun literally shoves his hand over Eunwoo’s mouth, this time. He shrieks, moments later, when Eunwoo inevitably his palm.

“You know what, I forgot to mention,” Seulgi interrupts. Sunhye throws her a thank you so much, you're the only one I can trust look. Irene’s what the is going on expression just intensifies, nearly burning holes into Sunhye’s forehead. Sunhye hates how nosy her friends are. “The dance team’s throwing a party tomorrow. It’s kind of last minute, but you guys are invited. We’re co-hosting with the Classical Dance Club.”

Yixing blinks, “If we’re hosting then I have to go.”

“Yup.” Seulgi says, cheerfully. “Besides, everyone’s been worried about you, so it’d be good to show up.”

Yixing drags a hand through his hair, messing it up. Sunhye wants to reach out and smooth down the extra messy parts. She doesn’t.

“You’re coming, too, right?” Seulgi turns on Sunhye.

Everyone stares at her, waiting for her response. Sunhye mutters, “Yeah, I guess.”

Seulgi beams. Sunhye cites a group project just so she can run away from Irene’s look, Eunwoo’s curiosity, and Yixing’s too close but not touching thing he’s been doing.

~.~.~.~.~

Sunhye picks up her bottle of vitamins, fishing out the last one.

Yixing blinks at it as he straightens out his t-shirt. It’s a plain white shirt, but it fits him well, especially paired with the jeans she's always loved on him because it makes him look especially hot. He looks good and she isn’t sure if she should say so. It’s so awkward. Despite him saying they haven’t broken up, she still tiptoes around him and he doesn’t say anything about it. It’s as if they’ve regressed back to right before they started dating, when she’d pine for him and he’d seemingly be oblivious to all her struggles.

“You should ask Baek to buy more.” Yixing says, so very casually, nodding at the empty vitamin bottle.

Sunhye blinks. Yixing searches for his wallet.

She’s seriously losing her damn mind.

~.~.~.~.~

“Good evening, Miss.”

Sunhye tears her forlorn gaze off Yixing animatedly talking to Jongin across the room to Johnny, wrinkling her nose up at him. “Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what, Miss?” Johnny raises a brow.

“You’re weird.” She mumbles, chugging down the rest of her soda. She doesn’t think she should drink anything, not when she’s already feeling so confused and sad and exactly the way she did back before she dated Yixing. She remembers distinctly what alcohol turned her into during that time. She shudders at the thought.

“Am I or are you just not weird enough?” Johnny rubs his chin, thoughtfully. She rolls her eyes. Then he lets out a low whistle, “Damn, Yixing’s looks great in those jeans, don’t they?”

Sunhye blatantly stares at Johnny. She’s not about to admit that yes, yes they do. “What the .”

“Just making observations.”

Sunhye stares at Johnny, watching as he just smirks while sipping at his drink, blatantly staring at Yixing’s . She notices that Yixing is now speaking to Eunwoo instead of Jongin and Johnny would usually say such things about Eunwoo, even though Johnny constantly insists he's straight. Sunhye’s more confused than anything, so she just decides she’s going to back away slowly.

While she backs away, someone hooks their arm through hers, steering her away from the kitchen, where she was going to get another soda and maybe find something to snack on. She blinks, repeats, “What the .”

Jaehyun mutters, “I’m supposed to be drunk?”

“Are you asking me?”

“No, I am drunk.” He says, in a totally sober tone. “And we’re going this way.”

“Well, I want to go to the kitchen.”

“Sometimes, the kitchen is not the best place to be when you’re at a party.” Jaehyun tells her, sagely, still clutching her arm tight enough that she has trouble prying him off her. They scoot past Ten, Soonyoung, and Yerim all staring at the two of them a bit too intently, their eyes sparkling conspiringly. If Sunhye weren’t so upset and preoccupied with her situation with Yixing, she’d find their behavior suspicious.

“That’s a lie. You said the exact opposite last week.”

“Can you, like, stop questioning me? Just once?”

“No.” Sunhye says, just as Jaehyun unceremoniously dumps her on the stairs. She shrieks and he disappears into the crowd of people, without once looking back. She rubs her bruised , glaring after him.

A solid fifteen seconds pass before Seulgi materializes from thin air at the steps right above her. Sunhye cranes her neck before turning to peer up at her.

Seulgi looks a little frantic. “Sunhye, I need your help.”

Sunhye jumps to her feet immediately. Seulgi grips her hand and tugs her up the stairs. She’s blabbering incoherently, sounding near tears, and gesturing into one of the rooms—a small bathroom, if Sunhye remembers correctly.

“Wait, slow down, Seulgi." Sunhye rubs Seulgi's arm, trying to calm her, "So, you lost something really important? What was it?”

“An earring. It’s my grandma’s and it’s so important and if I lose it then I’m gonna be so—”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll help, okay? We’ll find it in no time.” Sunhye gestures to the bathroom. “It’s in here, right?”

Seulgi nods.

Sunhye steps into the bathroom, glancing around at the white tiles, the bathtub with no shower curtain, and the fluffy white towels. Just as she turns to look at Seulgi, the door is slammed shut.

Sunhye blinks, rapidly, stumbling, before she tries to open the door.

It’s locked, from the outside.

“Seulgi?” Sunhye calls, frowning at the door.

“Sorry, okay, just hold on for a few minutes.”

Sunhye blinks and thinks of her friends and their weird behavior, her brain quickly putting two and two together. She thinks holy Seulgi was acting (and maybe she should think about taking up acting, because what the ) and wonders why in the world her friends decided to lock her in a bathroom. She decides, right then, that she really hates her friends.

She hears Seulgi blubbering incoherently outside the door once again and before she can process anything at all, the door opens and someone is shoved into her.

She yelps at the heavy weight, nearly falling over. Hands wrap around her waist, catching her before she hits the tiled floor. The door slams shut with a dull thud behind her.

She blinks up at Yixing looking down at her, face inches from hers.

(Everything starts to click.)

Oh, she really really hates her friends.

As if that’s not enough, the door opens and shuts behind them once more. She scrambles out of Yixing’s grip, stepping back in the now cramped little bathroom. Her eyes widen. Yixing slowly turns on his heels, eyes widening. Her heart skips a beat or five.

Baekhyun is leaning against the closed bathroom door, brows furrowed into a deep, deep frown, hair tousled, eyes on both of them. There is soft giggling drifting in from beyond the closed, no-doubt locked, door behind Baekhyun.

Oh, my God.

She ing hates her friends so, so much.

~.~.~.~.~

In retrospect, she should have seen this coming. The bathroom is ing tiny. There has been a giant elephant in the room for a couple weeks now and it only makes the space between them tighter. The tension is so high strung, one could slice it with a piece of paper.

Maybe she shouldn’t have shoved herself between Yixing and Baekhyun, sliding him out of the way, just to pound her fist on the door and yell, “I’m going to kill all of you, all of you. Let us out of here, you ers.”

“No, fix it first.” Irene calls back. She sounds drunk, which means she’s in chaotic Irene mode.

“I swear to God, I will—” She freezes because, well, this bathroom is tiny and she’d just realized exactly what predicament she’s been thrown into, quite literally. Slowly, she drops her hands and swivels in her spot, blinking up at Baekhyun, who is much too close. She glances at Yixing, who is, somehow, even closer, though he does look like he’s contemplating stepping into the bathtub to allow more standing room.

It’s quiet for a long, long minute, before she murmurs, dumbly, “Uh.”

“We might as well talk, I guess.” Baekhyun says, after a moment, glancing between them.

“Or not.” Yixing says, so slowly, so quietly, she nearly misses it.

Her head snaps up to meet Yixing’s gaze, except he’s not looking at her. His eyes are locked on Baekhyun. His eyes are communicating something she does not understand to Baekhyun. Baekhyun raises a brow. Yixing nods. She’s confused, she’s confused until, suddenly Baekhyun steps closer.

She blinks, pressing further against the solid door against her back.

Her breathing hitches, just a bit, at the proximity.

His eyes flicker down her body, from her head to her toes and right back up and she flushes under his gaze. When his gaze lands on her face, it is full of questions. “Can I touch you?” He asks, very quietly. "I really want to touch you."

It’s crazy, she thinks, because he sort of has her pressed up right against the wall, Yixing watching from where he’s perched next to the bathtub, inches from the both of them, but still so far away. His eyes follow her gaze, the way her eyes flicker to Yixing, and when she turns back to face Baekhyun, she sees the flicker of want in his honey eyes. It’s kind of hot, she thinks, blinking rapidly, her breath caught in .

“.” She murmurs. She glances at Yixing again, her eyes wide, questioning.

She doesn’t expect Yixing to whisper, tone muted, “This is all up to you. It's your decision to make.”

“.” She repeats, nearly squeaking this time.

Baekhyun waits, patiently, an amused smile spreading across his lips as Sunhye’s cheeks redden.

After a moment, a moment of just observing the look in Baekhyun’s eyes, her stomach fluttering at the affection there, she murmurs, “Yeah.”

The affection is still there, but a teasing twinkle joins it, coupled by a wide, -eating grin. “I need full sentences, Sunhye.”

She reddens, mumbles, with no venom or bite at all, unfortunately, “ you.”

“That’s part of the plan.” Baekhyun responds, grinning outright now, his tongue wetting his lips. She's watches the movement, her thoughts going haywire.

“But—” Her eyes slide sideways, to Yixing.

“I’m not opposed to it at all.” Yixing murmurs, very gently. Her eyes widen at his words. He adds, “Are you?”

“I…no.” She whispers, responding without hesitation, and she realizes that’s the truth. She loves Yixing and she loves Baekhyun, too, and all this time she thought there was something wrong with her, but they’re both—they’re both okay with it, somehow? They both want this, too?

She feels very overwhelmed, right then, her heart pounding in her chest, even as Baekhyun reaches for her wrists and easily pins it above her head, against the door. She feels a bit dizzy at the way the butterflies in her stomach flutter wildly, worsening when she keeps glancing at Yixing, blinking at the way he keeps staring and staring and staring, his bottom lip catching in his teeth.

Baekhyun stares down at her, takes in the sight of her, eyes raking down her, pressed to the door like this, chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath, all his doing, and he takes a deep, staggered breath, “God.”

She can feel his breath on her skin, can feel the low timber of his whisper. She says, “I like to go by Sunhye.”

Baekhyun lets out a low groan, rolling his eyes, “Please, don’t ruin the moment.”

“She can’t ever help it.” Yixing responds with a grin.

Baekhyun stares at her, crowding her against the door, his body pressed up against hers, keeping her wrists still above her head. She finds she doesn’t mind the constraints, her thoughts swimming. All she really wants to do is kiss him, though. She whispers, demands really, “Can you just kiss me already?”

Baekhyun raises a brow at her tone.

Yixing murmurs, as if reading his thoughts, “She’s never going to ask nicely, no matter how many times you ask. Trust me.”

He sounds so fond as he says it.

She grins, her own wide, beaming, -eating grin of her own, though she does blush because she remembers all the times Yixing tried.

Baekhyun uses the hand he doesn’t have pressed to her wrists to cup her jaw, thumb brushing circles along the skin just under there. “I’ll have to test that out, then. I'm sure I can figure it out.”

And the look in his eyes, the twinkle and the want and the darkness invading his honey brown eyes, makes her toes curl with electricity. “Later. Test it out later.” She mumbles.

Baekhyun just nods, nods and nods and nods as he leans in and presses his lips to hers. It’s not like it was the first time. It’s chaste, somehow, despite their positions, despite the fact that she is highly aware that Yixing is watching. It’s deep and slow and wanting. She wants and wants and he gives and his grip on her wrists remains a solid anchor, both holding her back and grounding her. She’s on her tiptoes, just to deepen the kiss. He on her bottom lip, pressing her against the door, body flushed against hers, and she can’t hold back the soft whimper as she presses forward into him.

That’s when he pulls back, watching her pant as he bites his lip. He’s still holding her wrist as he turns to Yixing, grabs him by the collar, and pulls him into a kiss that is immensely different from her own, all teeth and tongue and so much that she cannot look away. It's like they've been building to this, anticipating, and she wonders how long they've tiptoed around each other to kiss like this. They pull away too fast, though, both lingering, breathing hard. She blinks, her heart slamming against her ribs.

She whispers, so quietly, “This won’t be—this isn’t going to be a onetime thing, is it?”

The uncertainty in her tone breaks through the tension, the heavy buzzing blanket of that settles over them, hitting her deep. She wants them, she wants them both so badly, but she’s also worried.

Yixing’s chest is pressed to Baekhyun’s shoulder, but he steps closer. Baekhyun releases her wrists, though he does keep his fingers tangled in with hers. Their hands hang limp in front of her. She wonders if she disappointed them, if she ruined the moment completely.

Yixing cups her cheeks in his palms, leaning in. “Do you want it to be?”

Slowly, she shakes her head, “I…no, I don’t.”

“Then it won’t be.” Yixing breathes, leaning forward to peck the very tip of her nose. She can’t help but smile.

She’s still smiling when the door suddenly opens, and she yelps as it hits her back. Some random person shouts, “Oh . Sorry, my bad.”

She takes a deep breath, trying to straighten herself out. Baekhyun fixes her skirt, fingers lingering. Yixing watches the two of them.

They step out the bathroom, only to find her friends all staring back at them with the biggest grins gracing their faces. Seulgi looks absolutely delighted. Irene looks smug. Taeyong looks like he wants to laugh. Jaehyun and Eunwoo share matching expressions of amusement.

All Johnny says is, “Hoes.”

Everyone nods vigorously.

“I’m breaking up with all of you.” Sunhye responds, glaring at all her friends, one at a time, even while Yixing drags her away by the waist and Baekhyun bids everyone goodbye.

~.~.~.~.~

In the quiet of Baekhyun’s backseat, while the city passes by lazily around them, city lights drifting, Yixing says, “I’m sorry for walking out on you like that.”

She shakes her head, “I cheated on you. Even if you—if you liked Baekhyun, too, we never discussed it, so it was wrong of me to kiss him like that. I messed up. I’m sorry.”

Yixing sighs, cheek pressed to her shoulder, “It’s just—I wanted to be there when you guys are—I didn’t like feeling left out. I was so angry.”

“I’m really, really sorry.”

“Please, no more apologizing.” Yixing mumbles.

Sunhye nods, mumbles, “I missed you a lot, you know.”

“I missed you, too.” Yixing tells her, leaning in to press kiss after kiss against her face, making her giggle.

Baekhyun doesn’t hesitate to stomp on the breaks, making them both hurl forward, shrieking in unison. “No ing making out in the backseat without me anymore.” Baekhyun states, loudly, over their shrieks.

Sunhye halfheartedly kicks the back of his seat. “Did that really bother you?”

Baekhyun turns to pout at them, “More than you will ever ing know.”

So, when they arrive at their apartment, there is a sort of newfound dynamic between them, one that makes her apartment feel even more like home than before. When Baekhyun kisses her back and mumbles, you’re so good. When Yixing rolls over the first morning, not used to the logistics of three people in their bed instead of two, and falls off the bed, screaming on the way down. When Baekhyun listens to Yixing’s rants about the current state of the world and counters with his own world experiences, suddenly sounding so profound that Yixing just blinks at him before he says that was really hot and I kinda want to make out now, which just inflates Baekhyun’s already giant ego. When she looks at her boys, at Yixing and Baekhyun, she knows she has found her home. Even her anxious thoughts can’t contradict that. When she catches them staring at her, with this content sort of fondness, she knows they think of her the same way. She is their home and they are hers. She really wouldn’t have it any other way.

a/n: it escalated somewhere in the middle there, because I love drama, but I hope you liked it! tbh I didn't actually know how to nicely end this so I feel like the ending is cheesy as heck and happened sort of abruptly/weirdly, but whatever thoughts you have on this, please let me know below! thank you for reading this! it's ridiculous kjsdfndj

*the marshmallow joke is from incorrectexoquotes bc it made me laugh for five minutes straight ksndskj

xoxo