New York is exactly how Donghae had imagined it – windy, chaotic, and bursting with life. Christmas doesn’t just drift in from the sidelines like it does in Seoul, it bursts out forefront and centre. Everywhere Donghae looks, there are flashing lights, santas, reindeer and elaborately decorated trees. Christmas carols are being played everywhere, and because he spends a lot of time wandering through shops, he can’t escape them. He chooses a snow globe as a gift for his mother and turns the collar of his coat up before stepping back into the street. The sidewalks are just as crowded despite the cold, and although there is so much still to see and do before it gets dark, Donghae heads back to his hotel.

He really feels like being alone for a bit.

His head is a mess and has been ever since he read that Hyukjae had broken up with his fiancé.

Had he broken up with her and then called Donghae, desperate for comfort?

Or had he called Donghae first and then broken up with her afterwards?

It might not seem like it made much difference to anyone else, but Donghae could not stop thinking about it. If Hyukjae had called him after breaking up with Shin-Hye, it would mean he was looking for a friend, a shoulder to cry on, right?

But if Hyukjae had called him first and then gone home and ended things with her…

What does that mean?

Donghae drops onto his hotel bed with a sigh.

Probably nothing, he tells himself. He pulls out his phone and stares at the blank screen like it’s a guilty secret. And in a way it is, because-

He had saved Hyukjae’s number.

Even before he knew about Shin-Hye and Hyukjae separating, he had saved it.

He doesn’t know what that ing means either.

Idly he scrolls up and down his contacts. The name jumps out at him each time he sees it, it’s been so long since it’s been there.

Lee Hyukjae.

Nothing fancy. No endearments. Formal almost, with his family name added. And yet, Donghae’s thumb hovers over it.

He’s sent all his other friends messages to wish them a merry Christmas.

Would it be such a big deal if he were to message Hyukjae too?

Once he’s had that idea, it’s impossible to think about anything else. Donghae pulls his pillow over his head and groans. Pathetic! He’s pathetic! There’s a whole city out there to explore, and he’s lying in bed at 6pm on Christmas Eve thinking about texting his ex-boyfriend!

He turns on the TV instead and watches a few movies, eating all the chocolates from the minibar and then starting in on the tiny little rums. It