6 Months Previous - September

I felt like I was floating on air. There was nothing more humbling than the first day of classes. The air was still warm with the lingering grasp of summer, but the mornings had a fresh crispness to them to remind the living that autumn would be soon arriving. This time of year was like a purgatory for seasons, summer had yet to bow out while fall slowly crept into the scene, replacing the warmth in the air with warmth in colours instead.

Autumn has been and always will be my favorite season. While others replace their bathing suits with sweaters and their lemonade with cider, grumbling about their summer of warmth and freedom coming to an end, I can’t help but see things a bit differently. Like the pumpkin spiced lattes sipped by every white girl in leggings in oversized sweaters, this season had a humbling bittersweetness that always seemed to captivate me. The transition from the lively summers to the cold, dark winters each year always held such a pleasant tranquility to it. It was as though the world accepted and welcomed this death with a grace that no human could understand. Instead of fighting off the inevitable, it embraced the beauty of the end which eventually brought with it a new beginning with winter’s passing.

He was instantly an enigma from the first moment our eyes met. He stood stiffly, solemnly amongst the crowd of students rushing through the courtyard to their morning classes and chatting about their summer experiences. I walked alone, fiddling with the strap of my messenger bag until a small shiver coursed through me as a light breeze through my auburn curls and brushed them over my shoulder. But the chill ran deeper than the surface as my eyes found his. Beautiful, deep, dark pools of liquid emotion. Even from the distance that parted us, I could see the small glint of surprise that ignited in those espresso coloured eyes. His expression remained flat, emotionless, but his eyes spoke volumes above the bustle of the university grounds. I believe in that flicker of a moment I had forgotten how to breathe, forgotten we were surrounded by dozens of others, forgotten that I was running late for my very first class. 
And then reality crashed over me once more as I collided with a broad body I had failed to notice before me. My eyes fluttered only briefly from that man to apologize with the person I had run into and bow politely before stepping around them. Just like that, the spell was broken. When I briefly glanced back to look for the man with the sad eyes, there was no trace he had even been there at all. At the time, I couldn’t spare a thought or curiosity to the experience, but now that moment means so much more.

Two days passed before I saw him again. And just like the first time, I only caught a glimpse of this mysterious man. I was in the library working on a thesis I had started my sophomore year when a sudden shiver caressed its way down my spine. I tore my eyes from the computer screen to glance around at the other students to see if any of them seemed to feel the chill as well, but I didn’t think much of it. The day had been unseasonably warm, so I figured the air conditioning of the library had kicked in and created the stir of cool air. Then, before my eyes could return to the computer screen before me, I met his gaze once again. He stood just like before, same somber expression, same depth in his eyes, but this time he seemed to have been almost waiting for me to glance his way.

I find it kind of funny now that I think back to it. If it had been any other man, I quite possibly would have been startled by the way he stood and stared in my direction. There didn’t seem to be a purpose in his presence -he had no book in hand, no bag over his shoulder, nothing to indicate he had come to the library to study. No, he just stood behind one of the shorter shelves and simply gazed right back at me. But instead of feeling any sort of uneasiness under his watch, I felt an odd curiosity and dare I say a sense of… comfort?

My attention returned to my computer when the screen darkened from inactivity. With a quick press of a random button, the screen illuminated once more and the cursor flashed mid-sentence where I had left it. When I glanced back up to give that enigma another curious gaze, he had vanished once again.

After these mysterious glimpses I had of this man, I found myself actively seeking him out from time to time. My eyes would randomly scan the library in between bouts of study to see if he had appeared. I would momentarily lose focus in conversations with friends as I searched the courtyard for his gaze. Even in classes, I glanced around to see if perchance we shared any courses. Every time I found myself seemingly more disappointed than the last when I found nothing.

I was beginning to lose hope in finding him again amongst this vast campus and was slowly beginning to forget him when that familiar shiver ran its way through my body. This time, almost as if on instinct, my eyes rose in search of him. And this time, my heart didn’t clench with disappointment to find nothingness. No, there he stood in the same place as before, his eyes directed at me as always. A comforting warmth settled in the pit of my stomach as our gazes met. But unlike before, I didn’t tear my stare away. Instead, I raised a hand and motioned him to me, welcoming his company.

This invitation seemed to momentary surprise him. He hesitated and glanced about the empty library before slowly pacing to me, stopping on the opposing side of the table I sat at. I nearly missed his simple greeting in my distraction over the grace he walked with. While most men sauntered around like peacocks or stomped about like angry giants, he took slow, casual strides as he closed the distance between us. I found an unusual appreciation in the way he seemingly floated over the floor.

Clearing my throat, I broke my own trance, realizing I perhaps had taken a second or two too long to respond. Giving him a small smile and a greeting of my own, I pushed out the chair across from me with my foot, offering him a seat. Momentarily, he stared at the chair before his eyes returned to mine and he slowly settled into my offer with a small smile playing on the corner of his lips. I think that was the first time I had caught any sign of emotion on his face aside from those eyes that pulled me so far into their depths I feared I would drown.

Seeing him up close, his handsome features were all the more striking. His lips were amazingly plump and shapely, they almost seemed unnatural. His jawline was chiseled, but still soft enough to not be distracting. There was a certain fullness to his cheeks that gave him a slight boyishness that I found all the more appealing, wondering if he had a playful personality to match. His nose was straight and masculinely broad but the rounded tip again gave him a natural youthfulness that I was instantly drawn too. But his eyes. Those were what still captivated me most. Even from a distance, I had seen a well of emotion in their depths. With him sitting just a table’s distance away, I could see a whole ocean of thoughts and feelings in their darkness. It was nearly overwhelming and I truly was beginning to feel like I was drowning until he spoke.

“You’re even prettier up close.”

His words struck me with how they had nearly mirrored my thoughts. I instantly blushed realizing that he had been studying my appearance as I had been studying his. At least his words had been comforting in the way he seemed to appreciate what he saw, but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much he had flattered me. Instead, I sidestepped the compliment and introduced myself. The amusement that glimmered in his espresso coloured eyes and the small pull at the corner of his lips was enough to say he saw right through me.

“That’s a cute name; fitting,” he responded as his lips finally curled into a sweet smile and his eyes took on a warmth I had yet to see before. Then, just as quickly as that small gleam of happiness appeared, it vanished.

The sound of other students entering the library broke whatever spell had encased the both of us and he quickly stood. “It was nice meeting you. I’ll see you around…” He gave a slight pause and gave me a small glimpse of that amused smirk as he said my name. His eyes flittered to the arriving student and I couldn’t help but glance the same way, feeling a bit irritated that they had interrupted my brief meeting with this man of mystery. Masking that disappointment, I glanced back to him to find that he was already gone.

I’m sure I had looked rather ridiculous in that moment as my mouth hung open, astonished that he had managed to vanish so quickly without a sound. My mind reeled over the brief encounter, trying to piece together every bit of information I had gotten from this incredibly elusive enigma. But I was left with more questions than before. I knew nothing of him beyond his attractive appearance and slightly nasally but smooth voice. He had given me small hints at a playfulness that laid under his melodramatic aura, but I was left with a yearning to know more and no way of discovering anything else until we met again.

He hadn’t even told me his name.