I was okay being alone. I didn’t mind not getting married to someone. A relationship itself was a luxury in life I couldn’t afford. So, what more with marriage? Marriage didn’t just end with the wedding ceremony or the honeymoon. It always started with you and a partner buying a home, building a family, bearing kids, feeding them, taking care of them, working for them until they were ready to build a family of their own. It was too much responsibility and I didn’t think I would ever be ready for it.

My life wasn’t as smooth as those silver spoons, so I didn’t dare waste money, time and emotions on someone. I didn’t think I could ever do it. A relationship was never smooth. It's very taxing. Toxic. It always came with a price and I didn’t want to pay for it in the end, alone.

I was decided to grow an old maiden. Well, maybe I’d adopt a kid and raise him or her on my own. I would work hard, feed them, send them to school and let go of them once they are old enough to fend for themselves in hopes that in return they would remember me and they would visit me sometimes while thinking of how I loved them. Then I’d live with fifty cats when my grey hair started showing when I turn sixty or something.

But plans in life didn’t always go as we wished. One way or another, they often get changed unexpectedly without preparing us for the change itself. And with this change it also moved the course of our fate. We could not control it once it decided to play with our lives. And that was how my plans all got wiped out.

One day, I met him and that changed everything.

Mom always said there were no coincidences in life. Things always happened for a reason. So was meeting someone. I had not believed in her and whenever I thought fate interfered with my life, I rebelled against it. The more it pulled on its strings to change the course of my fate, the more I ran away from it. But the more I tried to run, the stronger the pull. The closer I got to him.

Somehow, while in the middle of a war with fate, I got tired from running. Exhausted, I sat down and cursed at the world for mocking me and serving me with more pain instead of comfort and happiness. I was so tired but couldn’t cry. I had no tears left.

But then this guy kept coming to me. I didn’t understand why. No matter how much I shooed him away, he just kept coming back. So, I asked him why. Why me? Why did he have to follow me around when I wanted nothing to do with him? Why did he constantly searched for me and bugged me when all I wanted was to be alone in life?

Then he said this to me, “It has always been you for me. Should there be any other reason for me to be here for you? Should I stop being here for you just because you don’t like me? I can leave you alone if you ask me to, but am I also not allowed to even comfort you when you’re hurting? Can’t I be your