Laying on bed at 2.30 am staring at the ceiling in my room, sometimes, when the loneliness became unbearably oppressing, you would randomly stroll through my mind, made me reminiscene of our happy times together, made me think of you.

The way you danced on stage, the way you laughed and your dimples showed. How we used to flirt and then the fans would go gaga. The secret holidays we went together.... the things we did...

"How are you? Are you happy? Does he makes you happy? Like how I used to make you happy or so much better?" I wanted to ask all that, wondering if you are eating well, sleeping well. While I hate you, part of me still can't stop loving you, still can't let you go...

Love and hate this is pathetic. I am pathetic....

~xxx~

Seeing the clear night sky full of stars and a bright crescent moon from my balcony made me think of you.

The silly fights we had and how we made up after. The crinkled nose you showed when you were happy. All the silly things you did to me. How your hand always found its way somewhere on me when we took group photos... you were annoying but your existence was something that brings comfort to me. It was something inexpressible in words.

There were so many things I wanted to tell you... like how I miss you but I can't tell you that... that would be selfish of me to do so.

How long has it been? If we were to be reincarnated, I wish we could meet again under that cherry blossom tree that you so loved.

I'm sorry I had to choose my family over you.

I miss you.