for as long as jungeun could remember, jiwoo had always been in love with her. the first time she told her was when they were six. it was their first day in elementary school, and jiwoo was running around when she tripped and fell with an awkward pose. she cried from pain and embarrassment, but jungeun, who had been watching jiwoo’s enthusiastic running, helped her up, patted her hurting knees softly, and said “hey, it’s okay, the pain will go away. it was kind of funny though, don’t you think?”

  

jiwoo looked relieved to have jungeun calming her. “yeah, i think it was,” she chuckled. “um, thank you, i love you.”

 

jungeun raised her eyebrows and laughed. “what? i think you should say love to your family, not a stranger like me. i don’t even know your name, dummy.”

 

jiwoo giggled. “well, we are friends now because you’re nice to me. and i always tell my mom i love her because she’s nice. and you are nice like my mom. oh and i’m jiwoo,” jiwoo explained in the most adorable way.

 

jungeun chuckled. “okay, then. you’re also nice—and funny. i’d like to be your friend. my name’s jungeun.”

 

they shook hands, and the grin on jiwoo’s face was enough to give jungeun a feeling that they’d be best friends.

 

***

 

when they were thirteen, a boy in jungeun’s class asked her out. feeling unsure about her uality, jungeun considered this a good way to see if she really liked boys and said yes. later, she told jiwoo, who jungeun swore flashed her a sad smile for a split second before it turned to be a proud grin and shrieked, “go best friend! that’s my best friend!!”

 

the date was just a simple dinner, but jungeun’s heart felt heavy the whole time. she told him that she didn’t think it was going to work, and she walked back home—or she thought she did. she looked down the whole time she was walking, so when she looked up, she was surprised to find that she’d arrived at jiwoo’s instead. is this the universe’s way of saying that i should tell jiwoo? she thought.

 

since she had stayed over at jiwoo’s many times anyway, jungeun unreluctantly knocked. it was jiwoo who opened the door excitedly.

 

“pizza!!!! wait, huh, jungeun? are you working as a pizza delivery man now? well—woman i guess,” jiwoo’s confusion earned a laugh from jungeun, who realized this was her first genuine laugh since her date started a couple hours ago.

 

“no, jiwoo, i was on a date remember? you really think i can go on a date and deliver pizza at the same time?” jungeun was amused.

 

jiwoo just smiled sheepishly. “right, sorry for being dumb. but then, what are you doing here and not with your date? wait, did you walk all the way here? are you okay?? was the date awful???” jiwoo rambled while helping jungeun take off her coat and settle to jiwoo’s warm bedroom, which was next to the living room.

 

jungeun could only shake her head and smile at her friend’s concern. “no, it was okay. it was nice, even. i just didn’t feel interested at all because.. uh.. that’s what i wanted to talk to you about, actually.”

 

jiwoo knew from the tone that whatever jungeun wanted to say was serious, so she gave jungeun a set of pajamas to change into after showering. she figured they would need to talk this out with a sleepover.

 

when jungeun came back from the bathroom, jiwoo had finished the pizza that jungeun had told her to eat by herself, since she was already full. jiwoo, who was sitting on the bed with her back leaning on the wall, gestured for jungeun to rest her head on jiwoo’s thighs. jungeun let out a chuckle, but she really did feel grateful for jiwoo’s gentle and caring ways of dealing with jungeun’s problems.

 

jungeun lay her head on jiwoo’s thighs and and closed her eyes. she figured it would be easier to tell jiwoo if she didn’t have to look at her. “i didn’t enjoy the date because… uh…. i kept thinking about how i might be… gay.” jungeun heard jiwoo’s gasp in response. then she shot her eyes open because she felt a pinch on her cheeks.

 

“aw! what was that for?” she asked while rubbing her cheeks, pretending like jiwoo really hurt them.

 

jiwoo shook her head. “damn it, jungeun, i thought you were going to say something bad like he forced to kiss you! i was so worried!”

 

jungeun rolled her eyes. “i literally said the date went fine. also, was that really your response to my coming out to you? i was worried too, you know! what if you were homophobic?! i didn’t want my best friend to hate me…”

 

“god, jungie, don’t be dumb! i could never hate you. and my oldest sister who’s in college is dating a whole woman. do you really think she would let me be a bigoted homophobe? besides, well, i might be gay too…” jiwoo shrugged.

 

jungeun quickly sat straight up. “what? no way!”

 

jiwoo raised her eyebrows as if it was a challenge. “yes way! me gay, too!” that, of course, earned her a light push from jungeun.

 

“don’t you dare making a reference to one day at a time now! this is a serious talk! jiwoo, you’ve never even liked a girl! or did you not tell me??” jungeun huffed.

 

it was now jiwoo’s turn to roll her eyes. “would you please relax? i have, and you do know her. actually, i’ve even told her i love her, you dummy.” jiwoo smirked.

 

jungeun squinted her eyes at jiwoo. dummy...? something clicked. “wait, you’re joking, right? unless you actually have told another six year old girl that you love her on your first day in elementary school…….”

 

jiwoo grinned. “nope. it’s you. i love you.”

 

“what the hell, jiwoo! you can’t just say something like that right after we confessed about being gay to each other!” jungeun raised her voice, face turning red.

 

“really? i thought it was fitting,” jiwoo’s grin grew bigger, clearly enjoying teasing her best friend.

 

jungeun groaned and buried her face on her hands. “ugh.. can you stop being annoying for a second and tell me why you think you have a crush on me??”

 

jiwoo pulled jungeun’s hands away to uncover her face and lifted her chin up so jiwoo could look into her eyes. “because you’re pretty and nice and smart and you’re the bestest of friend. you’re perfect.”

 

jungeun’s face turned even more red. she lowered her gazed and mumbled, “i really hate your confidence sometimes… i don’t know what to do now...”

 

jiwoo’s laugh filled the air, and suddenly jungeun was tackled with a hug. she felt jiwoo’s hand caressing her back, and jungeun melted into her warm embrace. “don’t stress over it, jungie! we’re only thirteen, after all. me telling you about it does not mean you have to like me back. i just wanted to tell you because you deserve to know that you’re a great person, and i’m lucky to have you in my life.”

 

“wow… jiwoo…” jungeun pulled back and looked at jiwoo.

 

jiwoo gulped. “yes, jungeun…?”

 

“who knew you could be so poetic!” she said as she squished jiwoo’s cheeks.

 

“nooo!” jiwoo shook her face to escape from jungeun’s fingers and flicked jungeun’s head. “i mean it, you know!”

 

jungeun chuckled then smiled genuinely. “yes, i know, and i really appreciate it. i’m glad you’re okay with me taking the news this way. crushes and relationships are too much for me right now... i’m still trying to discover myself. and for everything you told me… i don’t even know what to say besides thank you so much, jiwoo.”

 

jiwoo returned the smile. “you’re very welcome, jungie. remember, before anything, you’re my best friend. don’t hesitate to tell me everything, okay?”

 

“okay,” jungeun said as she pulled jiwoo down towards her. “cuddle me to sleep?”

 

“always,” jiwoo answered, already positioning herself to be the big spoon.

 

***

 

when they were fifteen, their classmate haseul got into a relationship with a girl from another class, vivi. vivi came to their class everyday after school ended to walk haseul home, and jiwoo squaled happily for them each time. claiming herself as a viseul shipper, she talked to jungeun about how cute the couple were at least thirteen times a day.

 

“jiwoo, oh my god, yes they’re cute. i get it,” jungeun said while rubbing her temple from how loud jiwoo was.

 

“BUT JUNGIE! THEY HAVE NICKNAMES FOR EACH OTHER!” jiwoo continued squealing, clearly didn’t care about the well-being of jungeun’s ears’.

 

“jiwoo, we’re at the freaking canteen, please lower your voice. and it’s just a dumb nickname, even you made me one,” jungeun shook her head, although the smile on her face indicated she wasn’t mad at her best friend at all.

 

jiwoo pouted. “but you didn’t make me one. and it’s not dumb!”

 

jungeun snorted, but the pout in jiwoo’s face stopped jungeun from teasing her any further. “sigh… you really want one that much?”

 

“yes! we’ve been close for years, jungie!” jiwoo whined.

 

“okay, okay, how about….” jungeun thought for a second, “‘chuu’?”

 

“i… don’t really get it?” jiwoo tilted her head, confused.

 

“well, you see, you always speak so fast—“

 

“no i don’t—“

 

“shut up, you do. anyway, when you say your name but very fast, it sounds like ‘chuu’.” jungeun finished, satisfied with her reason.

 

“huh… i’ve never thought about it that way. let me try. jiwoo, jiwoo, jiwoo—oh my god it does sound like ‘chuu’! aaaaahh!!” jiwoo was back to squealing.

 

“do you like it, chuu?” jungeun grinned, though she didn’t know why such small thing would make jiwoo really happy.

 

“of course! jungie and chuu! ahh now we have something as cute as viseul! i love it so much aahhh i love youuuu!!” jiwoo hugged her tightly.

 

jungeun laughed and hugged jiwoo back, but she couldn’t ignore the flutter she felt in her heart when jiwoo said 'i love you'.

 

***

 

when they were sixteen, jungeun was asked on another date—by a girl this time. about time, jungeun thought, i was starting to feel exhausted rejecting all those boys. jinsol, a senior, came to her class one day, told her she was pretty and that she would love to go out with her if jungeun wanted to. she left with a red face after giving her number, saying “i’m too embarrassed to hear your answer, so, accept or reject me through text, please.”

 

jiwoo, who sat next to her, immediately came to her desk. “jungie, oh my god, a girl asked you out. a girl, finally! and she’s beautiful. don’t you dare reject her. you should at least consider going out on one date!”

 

“well, chuu, i guess that’s the logical thing to do, yes,” jungeun answered reasonably.

 

“ugh, you’re unbelievable. jungeun, stop being a tsundere for once,” jiwoo didn’t use the nickname like usual, and jungeun felt a little defensive.

 

“ off. what do you even know about dating?” jungeun scoffed.

 

jiwoo rolled her eyes. “just because i’m not as pretty as you—

 

“oh shut up, you’re just as pretty, if not more—“

 

“please do not interrupt me with compliments when i’m trying to scold you. anyway, just because i’m not as pretty as you, doesn’t mean i’ve never been asked by boys… and girls.”

 

jungeun was surprised. “what?! you’ve never told me this!! and i’ve never seen any of them asking you out!”

 

“i’m a student council in social relations, jungie. it’s my duty to make sure everyone knows my phone number for critics and such, so they didn’t ask me in person. some asked me through dm on twitter, too. all of which i rejected, by the way. also, why are you so dumb with technology, huh? this is why you’re a hag,” jiwoo explained thoroughly while not forgetting to tease jungeun.

 

“wh-i’m only several months older than you! and don’t try to change the subject! i get why you said no to the boys but why didn’t you say yes to the girls?” jungeun was confused.

 

jiwoo shrugged. “i’m just not interested in them.”

 

jungeun squinted her eyes at her best friend. “i don’t buy it... and you promised to tell me everything, chuu.”

 

jiwoo grimaced. “okay, okay, fine.. i’m sorry for keeping this from you. i just didn’t think it was worth sharing with you because i didn’t say yes, so there’s nothing to tell.”

 

jungeun sighed. “and next time?”

 

“i’ll tell you, i promise. you’re my best friend, jungie, i wouldn’t intentionally hurt you. i love you the best,” jiwoo said while linking her pinky finger with jungeun. she knew jungeun thought it was silly from how she rolled her eyes, but jungeun also smiled, so jiwoo grinned knowing jungeun had forgiven her.

 

what jiwoo didn’t know was that jungeun hoped she didn’t notice how jungeun’s breath stopped when she said another 'i love you', and that she rolled her eyes not at the pinky promise but to ignore the flutter in her heart again.

 

“now can you please text jinsol you’re going on that date with her??” jiwoo seemed more excited for the date than jungeun and she didn’t want to disappoint her, so she chuckled and did as told.

 

***

 

now, at seventeen years old, jungeun had to break up with jinsol. she really liked her, and she enjoyed being in a casual relationship with her, but she couldn’t stop thinking about how it would eventually end. she just didn’t see a future with her, and it had been bugging jungeun for quite some time that her heart ached whenever she saw jinsol. her heart ached even more whenever she saw jiwoo, who had been their biggest supporter, and whom jungeun knew was the reason why she couldn’t completely love anyone else. she cursed at herself for being dumb because she could have avoided dragging jinsol into her mess.

 

she felt really, really bad when she told jinsol this, but jinsol took it surprisingly well. she thanked jungeun for their time together, kissed her one last time, and told her, “i hope you can be with your best friend. i heard it’s the best kind of love.”

 

jungeun teared up a little when she hugged jinsol, thankful to have the most loving people in her life.

 

she went to find jiwoo next, but before she couldn’t say anything, jiwoo rushed to her and said with the most panicked look on her face, “jungie, i have a date with sooyoung. the great lesbian sooyoung.”

 

jungeun had never been late to anything in her life, but today she felt like the dumbest person in the world for losing in a race she didn't even participate in.

 

***

 

the date went well, apparently. jiwoo went to jungeun’s house afterwards because she wanted to talk about it, which felt a little like déjà vu.

 

when jiwoo had finished talking, jungeun asked with a heavy heart, “so... i take it you’re gonna see sooyoung again?”

 

jiwoo gave her a sad smile before answering, “actually… no. sooyoung was really nice, but, i’m afraid if we continue this i won’t be able to give her as much love as she’ll give me.”

 

“wait, are you serious?” jungeun held her breath. “is there... a particular reason why?”

 

“i… am kind of in love with someone else, but she’s already in a relationship,” jiwoo answered, eyes looking anywhere but at jungeun.

 

jungeun felt her hopes go up. “how long have you been in love with her?

 

“since we were kids,” jiwoo glanced at jungeun before quickly adding, “but! loving someone is not owning them. she doesn’t owe me anything. she’s already in a relationship, and i’m happy for them, jungie, okay?” jiwoo emphasized the last point.

 

jungeun was now sure jiwoo was talking about her, and she realized she hadn’t told jiwoo about the break up. “what if she isn’t in a relationship anymore?”

 

jiwoo dropped her jaw. “oh my god, you broke up with jinsol?! is everything okay?? wait—“ she grimaced at how she used ‘you’ and 'jinsol'. jiwoo didn’t really care anymore, though, cause she was also sure jungeun already knew she was talking about her. “ah, , i’m really ing sorry. that was ty of me to talk about myself when you’re here grieving. and i’m sorry for the 'confession' too, god, the timing couldn’t be more inappropriate.” jiwoo buried her face in her hands.

 

jungeun pulled jiwoo’s hands away to uncover her face and gave her a smile. “don’t worry, we ended on good terms. jinsol is a great person. she understood our relationship couldn’t last because… i’m... also in love with someone else.”

 

jiwoo noticed how jungeun used the same sentence. she couldn’t believe her luck. “wait.. and who’s this someone else?”

 

jungeun grinned. “someone who isn’t planning on dating the great lesbian sooyoung because she’s been in love with me since we were thi—“

 

“wrong, she’s been in love with you since she first saw you at six,” jiwoo didn’t skip a beat, although her heart might have skipped several.

 

it went quiet for a few seconds before jungeun burst out laughing. “for real? wow… that's... kind of dumb.”

 

a little irritated, jiwoo flicked jungeun’s head and shook her shoulders in annoyance. “can your tsundere stop blurting out something that completely ruins the mood every time!!”

 

jungeun laughed even more. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i know i’m not the most romantic person in the world. i’m probably dumber, though, cause i think i also have been in love with you all this time, chuu,” she took jiwoo’s hands in hers. “it’s as if my heart had always known, but my head was too stubborn to admit it.”

 

jiwoo, face turning red, was definitely not prepared for that. she mumbled, “okay, never mind, i think i’d rather have tsundere jungie than confident jungie. otherwise i’d be looking like a tomato all the time.”

 

jungeun smirked. she had always liked teasing jiwoo because jiwoo was usually the one to bug her, so she was really ejoying this. “you know what? since we’re already doing everything together anyway, we should just get married.”

 

jiwoo choked before she could respond. "what?! jungie, we’re seventeen."

 

jungeun snickered. “i love that your only concern is that we’re not old enough to get married.”

 

“oh shut uppp,” jiwoo whined.

 

jungeun laughed again in amusement, but it quickly turned into a sincere smile. “chuu,” she said as she cupped jiwoo's cheeks with her hands. "i am so deeply in love with you. and you are with me, as you have said multiple times—sorry again for being dumb. we might not be able to get married now, but i’m really looking forward to it. so for now, would you be my girlfriend?"

 

jiwoo looked at jungeun in awe. "how could you... say all that without missing a beat, as if you had practiced it your whole life?"

 

"hey, i can be smooth when i want to. and i do want to, for you,” jungeun gave jiwoo a shy smile.

 

jiwoo swooned, then stammered, "b-but we haven't even kissed yet!"

 

jungeun chuckled and shook her head. she leaned in and stopped just before her lips touched jiwoo's. "well, may i?" she whispered. jiwoo could only give a little nod as she was still too stunned to process what was happening. jungeun softly pressed her lips to jiwoo's trembling ones.

 

jiwoo suddenly forgot how to breathe. her heart was racing so fast and the voice in her head kept screaming jungeun, jungeun, jungeun. she didn’t know that jungeun’s heart was racing just as fast and that her head also kept screaming jiwoo, jiwoo, jiwoo.

 

jiwoo was snapped back to reality when jungeun started to pull back because of the lack of reaction from jiwoo, but she quickly placed her hand on jungeun's waist to keep her in place. she slowly kissed jungeun back, and they both smiled into the kiss. jungeun took that as a 'yes'.

 

 

***

 

an hour later, they were snuggling on the bed and falling asleep when jiwoo mumbled, "i can’t believe you proposed to me without me a ring."

 

jungeun chuckled, but then she remembered the ring pop that she somehow really wanted to buy this morning. she didn't know why at the time; the universe does work in a mysterious way. "wait, holy , jiwoo, i bought a ring pop before class today."

 

"you're ing kidding me."

 

"i'm really not. oh my god, it's going to be dumb, but should we....?"

 

"yes, of course! let me get my phone. we're going to take pictures like engaged couples but with our dumb ring pop."

 

jungeun ran to her bag and frantically searched for the candy, and she yelped when she found it. jiwoo, ready with her phone, gave jungeun her left hand so she can put on the ring. however…

 

"it's.... stuck. it doesn't fit," jungeun stated in embarrassment. she figured the size of the ring must have been made to suit children's fingers. she looked up to see jiwoo furrowing her eyebrows, which she found really endearing, but she could see that jiwoo was disappointed. she sighed and apologized, "god, of course these candies are for kids. i'm so dumb. i'm really sorry, baby."

 

jiwoo gasped in surprise, cheeks turning red. she slapped jungeun’s shoulder lightly and mumbled, "i was disappointed because you made me excited for a ring pop which doesn't even fit on my ring finger, but the 'baby' really caught me off guard."

 

jungeun smirked. "get used to it, baby, we're dating now."

 

jiwoo groaned, yet she couldn't stop herself from smiling. but a moment later she squealed at what she thought was a brilliant idea. she took off the ring and put it on her pinky finger. it fitted perfectly.

 

jungeun's face broke into the biggest smile jiwoo had ever seen, so jiwoo couldn’t help but hug and lift jungeun off of the ground. jungeun knew jiwoo was strong but she was surprised to find out she was this strong, and it turned out that she was even stronger because she started spinning jungeun around. "oh my god, chuu, what are you doing!!" jungeun screamed and laughed while trying to keep her balance by gripping jiwoo’s shoulders tightly.

 

jiwoo put jungeun down and kissed her cheek. "sorry, i'm just really happy. i can’t believe i get to spend the rest of my life with my girlfriend who’s also my best friend! i love you so much, jungie.”

 

jungeun giggled. “i love you too, chuu baby. so, should we take the pictures now?”

 

“yes, let’s take lots of them!!” jiwoo said and she pulled jungeun next to her side.

 

as jiwoo did really extra poses for the camera to make sure the ring was the center of attention, all while peppering jungeun with kisses, jungeun thought she didn’t mind doing dumb stuff at all if she got to do it with the love of her life.