“The only difference between a saint and a sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”- Oscar Wilde

*
 

As your eyes stared into the screen of your outdated laptop, the morality of the situation weighed heavily upon the mechanisms of your brain.  

Your sense of ethics was on the line.  Personal sense of right and wrong sat on the libra scale that troubled your intuition at the moment.  Constant pros and cons plagued your mind as your conscious came up with fictional scenarios and what ifs.  

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to check it out for a couple of minutes….” You mumbled to yourself before clicking the ‘confirm profile’ button on the screen.

Before continuing any further, you found yourself nervously glancing behind your back, to make sure no one was witnessing what you were about to do.  Pure paranoia given that you were currently alone in your dorm.

The website had a nice and clean format.  Nothing sketchy like you were anticipating it may be.  Your bland picture and username appeared before you and you were left with the task of writing a bio for others to see.  You sighed as you were left pondering what to say, given that this would be one of the main things you were going to be judged by.  You typed down some words, only to delete some and revise some more. Finally, you were able to decide on the following;

“Hello, my name is (Y/n) and I’m a nineteen year old college student.  I’ve heard that honesty is the best policy so I will just say it; I’m broke and struggling to live day to day so a relationship that is mutually beneficial is what I’m aiming to find.  I’m a very down to earth person so I am open to any discussion. Thank you. :)”

Before you could hesitate or doubt it, you confirmed the bio.  

For the next 15 minutes, you browsed the other people on the site.  Most men were older and blunt about what they wanted. This included looks, curves, bust size and even height and weight.  Part of you wanted to be offended at such vulgarity, but in a way it was refreshing. You were playing the role by asking for money, why shouldn’t they ask directly for a certain appearance?  You weren’t looking for a future husband. You were looking for a ‘daddy’.

You closed the laptop and concluded your search for the day.

*****

The aroma of cheap chinese food floated in the air as the satisfied moans of your roommate rang in your ears.  

“Soooo ing good.”  Kat groaned through the slurping of her chow mein.  You laughed at her reaction but couldn’t help but agree with her.  

Kat was your same-aged roommate whom you quickly became close with.  She was quiet and very non-dramatic which was a breath of fresh air to you.  She had a way of being so blunt and raw all the time but it was so funny to you in a sarcastic way.  Lying wasn’t even in her

vocabulary and she would always tell you if you did indeed look fat in that dress.  But that was just because she was looking out for you.

“Yeah, I’m so glad we pulled together our crumpled single dollar bills to order some take out.” You told her before piercing a piece of beef into your mouth.  

“Well, it was worth it.  I’ve done some calculations and we’ve been surviving off of instant ramen, cereal and candy bars for 3 months now.  Plus it’s Friday and let’s face it this is as ‘crazy’ as our Friday nights will get.” Kat had a point. Neither of you were the type of college kids to go out clubbing or have .  First of all, you didn’t have the funds to do that since you two had to pay tuition along with dorm fees and food. Secondly, neither you or Kat were those type of people to party. In fact, you often made fun of those people.  

“Actually, my Friday was kinda wild.” You said as you swallowed some greasy chinese food.

“How so bub?”

“So I may have or may have not but totally did sign up for a sugar baby website.”

There it was, the truth laid out for your dear friend to dissect.

A rupture of laughter broke through the chewing as Kat cackled.  You waited a moment for her to calm down but couldn’t help letting out some chuckles yourself.

“Why?” She asked, still laughing.

“Well, I just need the money.  And I don’t really mind being some older dude’s date if it meant that I got paid.”  You elaborated.

She took a sip of her bottled drink before her lips and asking the dreaded question that always came up with the topic, “But won’t you have to him?”

“I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.  But from what I can see, you can get paid for just hanging out with some of these men.  I might just do like two dates and dip with some money in my pocket.” Although you weren’t naive and knew what most of these sugar daddies wanted, you still heard of those deals where you got paid to meet up with them for a few dates.  A couple hundred per date sounded like a good deal to you.

It was quiet for a while as the sounds of steady munching resumed.  You both finished your foods and sat there in comfortable silence. Neither of you bothered to move, feeling lazy and too at peace to ruin the current atmosphere.

“What are you thinking, Kat?” You asked, wanting to hear what was going on in that witty mind of hers.  You briefly wondered if she would disapprove or be judgemental, but then you quickly shook that feeling away.  Kat was as open-minded as one could get.

“To be honest, I’m jealous I haven’t thought of that.  I might join ya.” She said.

“You totally could Kat.  They would love spoiling you.”  It was honest for you to say this.  Kat was genuinely gorgeous to you. She wasn’t that tall but she was slim and toned.  Her hair was a natural platinum blonde, almost white and she always wore it in a careless bun that was always effortlessly cute to you.  Her eyes were big and the brightest blue ever and her nose was elfish in the way it was small but still pointy. You always thought her nose crinkle she did is what sold her dirty looks she’d make at obnoxious people on the daily.  Her lips were thin but baby doll

pink and she always wore dark but comfortable clothes.  In way she reminded you of a doll that was fed up with being a doll, given her major face and cutting (but hilarious remarks).  

“Perhaps...but I don’t wanna cheat on Cynthia.”  

You nodded in understanding.  Sometimes you forgot that Kat was in a long-distance relationship with another girl.  But it’s a long relationship given they been together for three years. Even though they hardly see each other in person anymore since moving away from each other two years ago.  But Kat had a point, to be in a relationship and go out with other people for money was arguably disloyal.

You two cleaned up and finished the meal and conversation.

****

It was late and you were fresh from the shower and fully ready to head to bed.  

As you got your more comfortable clothes on, an idea struck you.  Without much delay, you grabbed your phone to sync your profile from your desktop to your mobile.  You laid down and prepared to read any messages before fully falling asleep.

‘Damn.  19 and that gorgeous?  Do you need a big strong man to help support you?’

‘I wanna and you could be the lucky lady of the night.  Wanna meet up ;)’

‘....you don’t mind married men do you?’

‘how much for a half an hour?’

You scrolled passed them, some rather gross ones made you laugh but you didn’t get any ‘spark’ to start convos with any of them. Thus you kept surfing through your received messages.  

‘You’re too pretty to be on this site dollface.’

You stopped scrolling.  Your brows furrowed as you couldn’t decipher exactly what that meant.  Was he trying to be nice and compliment your looks? Or was he accusing you of being a catfish?  Maybe he was being fatherly and was concerned that such a young girl was on here? But that didn’t make sense.  Out of curiosity you clicked on the profile.

Park Jimin…..23 years of age.

‘If you’re a young thing trying to have fun with a man whom has enough money to satisfy you, feel free to send a message.’

Profession: Heir to family business

Relationship Status: Never married, no kids, happily single

Height: 5’8

(Certified, Gold Member status)

The profile was simple and straight to the point, but in a way vague.  You had to admit though, he was extremely handsome in a boyish way that completely contrasted the other people on the site.  While the majority of them were older men with weird profile pictures that clearly demonstrated their inability to use new technology, this guy clearly new his angles and based off his bio, he relied mostly on his looks alone.  His small face had a cute amount of fat, like a cherub-faced angel that you’d see in those old renaissance paintings. However his plush and pillowy pink lips didn’t smile at you, instead they sat perfectly still in a straight line while his small but bright eyes held a serious promise, not glowing with superficial happiness that most people faked when taking pictures for a profile.  

You sat there for a good minute, just observing him.  Something unexplainable told you that you couldn’t ignore this man.  And you didn’t want to either. He was a walking contradictory. Someone so cute still managed to be intimidating and somewhat….lustful in that one image alone.  You got the feeling that he used his somewhat innocent image to his advantage and that he knew how to work people and get their attention.

Or perhaps you were on crack and needed to chill because it wasn’t that deep.

….Yeah, that’s probably it.

However, these were the facts;

His occupation implied a wealthy and privileged upbringing.

And the gold member status of his profile meant that he was certified.  As in his background check meant that he was not a catfish or lying about his salary.  A gold member status was reserved for the finest ‘bachelors’ on the server.

Suddenly, you found yourself typing a message back.  You didn’t have anything to lose and this was probably the best fish you would ever catch.  You just had to reel it in.

‘Sorry, but I don’t know if i should take that as a compliment or an insult.  Care to elaborate babe?’

You sent that, hoping the ‘babe’ part wasn’t over the line.  You wanted to be a little flirty and show him a more confident part of you.  It was as if you were playing a total architype. A confident, proactive sugar baby who could charm her way to some cash.  But part of you couldn’t help but wonder if you two were ever to meet in person, if you could live up to the part? Maybe being yourself was the best option.  But what man would find a meek and insecure teenager attractive? Much less worthy of providing for?

An unexpected notification popped up.  He has answered right away and your heart dropped to your stomach as you opened the new message.

‘It’s whatever you want it to be love.  Why are you on here?’

A sudden spark of annoyance hit you.  Why did you have to justify your presence?  Plus it was pretty self explanatory why anyone was on this site.  And it’s not like you typed down that bio for it to be ignored.

‘I don’t know Mr. Park.  Maybe I’m just a ‘young thing looking for a man with enough money to satisfy me.’ :)))) but what do I know?’

‘You’re quite witty Miss. (Y/n).’

‘Thanks, I try to be.’

‘ But what is it that brought you here?  I think I deserve to know girlie.’

This was the point when you stopped caring.  Perhaps it was the slightly condescending tone he managed to convey over text, or your tiredness and stress that made you lose all thoughts of managing a charming image to him.  In other words, you stopped giving a and this is when the convo went to .

‘bold of you to assume that I must justify myself to u :)))’ you replied.

‘I’m a gold member status.  I’m sure I can provide whatever it is you seek.’           you laughed as you thought of your comeback.

‘U can shove a gold member up your <3’

‘…..I like that.’  You grumbled as you read this.  Why could you just picture his annoying godly face smirking and typing this down thinking he’s gonna get you wet and excited?  

‘You don’t know that half of it daddy.’  You replied sarcastically, not caring if he got the sarcasm or not.

‘Okay you definitely peaked my interest.  What do you need in order for me to meet you?’

‘Sis, for an heir you sure can’t read huh?’

‘Your Profile?’  You literally groaned.  Yes your profile.  Did it not occur to him to check out your information?

‘Yes…..I’m broke.’  What was the point of lying?  Your profile did say you were to the point and honest...

‘Do you want Gucci?  Dior? A new car? Phone?  Laptop?’

‘Lmao I really just need to cover my basic needs before I even think of flexing on these other broke college hoes.’

‘......You’re interesting.’

‘Yeah and this whole sugar baby thing isn’t working for me….this is my first ever convo and I can’t even take it seriously.’

‘I think your mesmerizing’

‘Yeah only bc you wanna me.’

‘Although that is very true my love, I also find you hilarious.  I’ve been laughing at everything you say.’

‘Well Mr. Park, glad to be of service.  I hope you find what you’re looking for and complete all the shades of grey together.’

‘My my.  Won’t you be my Anna Ms. (Y/n)?’

‘Yeah, ur way outta my league.  And I should focus on paying my student loans before getting dicked down.’

‘Let daddy cover that babygirl.’

‘.....HAHAHA why would u do that? As an heir to a company, they shoulda told you the importance of not making bad investments.’

‘I think you’d be a glorious investments.  Why don’t we meet up for coffee and see if your this bold in person?’  …..he caught you.  You were totally just joking around because you had the protection of the screen and no true human interaction.  You moved to the defensive mode.

‘Why should I?’

‘I’ll give you 250 on the spot if you just show up.’

‘SAY LESS MR JIMIN IM THERE.’

‘What college do you attend?’

‘Greenfield Institute University’  

‘There’s a cafe by there called ‘Stefani Cafe’.  When do you wanna meet?’

‘I’m open tomorrow.  I have no classes between one and four’

‘Tomorrow at 2pm sharp.  Is this okay with you love?’

‘Yes.’

This was how your met your first sugar daddy.  Well, the first of seven.

And god, how you learned to regret it.