You were finally ready for the Christmas Eve party in Jiyong place. It is rare for you to dress and do your makeup. But this year you want to impress someone and that someone was the guy who invites you to the party. You were in love with Kwon Jiyong since you first saw him 5 years ago. You knew already one of his friends/ band member Dong Youngbae and, so he introduces you to him right away. Even if he was shy at first, you two click so fast and you were quickly one of his friends in who he trusts a lot. You even feature in one of his songs because one night he heard you sing and found your voice amazing and he drags you to the studio to record the song. You try so hard to not featured in the song cause you though your voice , he changes your mind and the song when it came out was number one for a lot of weeks. 

Time went by and you two became really close and sometimes you would just spend time alone watching some drama together with some junk food and maybe one or two bottles of wine. You were not a party girl and love more quiet time away for everything. It was the same with Jiyong because everyone saw the flamboyant, extrovert, fashion icon and amazing rapper G-Dragon but never someone saw the shy, introverted and that keep things for himself. But you could see that shy person and interact with him and click with him. 

Last year was when you discover that you were in fact in love with him. You remember you were seeing for the zillion time the rumor that he was dating ex 2NE1 member Dara and you were pissed off at first because you knew there were friends and that was the end of it. But you were with your friend and she saw your reaction to it and ask if you were jealous. That when you start to think that since you know him you were always jealous of the people who were around him and were not his friends. When he was seeing girls, you were also depressed and sad that he was not spending time with you. That the moment, that you realized you like him for all of him and that you want something more with him. The problem was you want to say away of the public eyes and he was one of the most iconic idols in Korea. So that’s why you didn’t say anything about it for the past year. But since the end of the year was arriving so fast, you must at least tell him what was your feeling for him. He was leaving the next year to do his military service and so that was two years of not seeing him really. So, tonight was the night you were telling him and hoping he would be answering in a positive way.

The dress that you pick was a beautiful dark purple with a lot of sparkles and it was a very feminine dress. 

You were the kind of tomboy girl and a dress like that one was rare on you. You also put some makeup and same for your makeup it was super rare that you would put that kind of makeup. Usually, you put black eyeshadow with black eyeliner, more in the punk makeup than the classic look. But today you want to impress and be beautiful for once in the year. You finish to touch your hair, you gave it a little wavy look and you were happy too. Overall you look amazing and couldn’t wait to see everyone reaction to it, especially Jiyong. 

You arrived around 7 pm, you show your little invitation and they let you pass. After five seconds you saw Seungri jumping up and down when he saw you and told you how beautiful you were and could help but smile at his compliment. Before he says other stuff, he was dragged away by Seunghyun and Daesung. Laughing at this you watch and saw Youngbae with Hyorin. You watch them smiling and having fun with their friends and couldn’t stop thinking that it was also the last Christmas of these two before he enlists too. So, you wave your hand at them but didn’t do much more because you didn’t want to interrupt the discussion they were having. So, search for Jiyong all over his house and saw him after 40 minutes alone at the balcony smoking a cigarette. You told him many and many times to stop smoking, but he didn’t listen and probably will never because it help him to calm down. He then turns his head and saw you standing there and he just drops his cigarette on the ground with his mouth open. 

“Wow!  (Y/N) you look so beautiful in that dress. I thought you would never come today. You make me happy by seeing you today. ”

He was smiling at you and you could see the happiness in that smile. You could die of happiness with that one. You two were looking at the city and just appreciate the beauty of the city at night. Many minutes pass until you start to feel cold a bit and shake a little bit. He saw that and put his leather jacket on you, so you could feel a bit warmer. You thank him but we're still shy to say you feeling to him so everything when back to silence. In those minutes you take a lot of time to relax and just try to find the right word to say to him. 

“Jiyong, I got something to tell you and don’t interrupt me before I stop saying it. In the five years that we know each other. I start to have those feelings for you. Feeling that were more than friendship for me. Since last year, I realized that I’m in love with you and I can’t fight those feeling anymore. Every time I see you with someone else I want to be with you, I want to kiss you, hug you, be there when you need me… I love you Kwon Jiyong… please say something…”

He was surprised by those words and didn’t know how to react your confession. After many seconds that were like an eternity for you, he took your hands in his and told you this :

“ (Y/N) I don’t know how to say this to you but you should have told me a long time ago how you feel because I wait so long for you to say those words and I know that it took you a lot of time cause in the past you want to stay in the shadow and I respect that. So, I wait and wait for the day to come but in that time, I feel in love another person and that person is here today at the party and I want you to meet that person…”

That was the only thing you heard cause after that you start to cry and push him away. You finally got the courage to talk to him about your feeling and you got rejected. You start to leave and cry at the same time and so Jiyong was screaming your name and come back because he was sorry, but you were not listening and, so you pass by Youngbae and Hyorin and they try to see what happened, but you never stop and wish to just go back to your car and just be at home and cry. You pass by Seungri and Daesung and they try to see what happened since you never cry like that before tonight. But the one that stops you and took you home was Seunghyun, he took you and just put you in your car and drive you home.

You must have sleep in your car because the next thing you know was that you woke up at 7 am in your bed and Seunghyun was sleeping in your living room on the couch. You whip the tears on your eyes and when he woke up you explain everything to him and wish that he could keep the secret so no one else would know what happened that night. He did so and told you to maybe take some time off from everything including them, so you could only think about you and just you. So, you hug him and thank him for his time and he when to his house, so he could catch some sleep before starting his day. You check some website to see if you could find a location to where to go. It took you about 45 minutes, to see where you would go, and you book your plane flight in 3 days. That would leave you the time to prepared your bags, write a letter to your four best friends and to him…

So, on the day of your flight, you when to each of there house and let the letter in front of the door so they could see it. In the letter, you talk about the joy you had with them and how much you will miss them a lot with their unique way to make you smile. You told them to be at the airport at the right time, so you could see them one last time before you go on your little trip. Around 6 pm, you were waiting to get on board and you saw five persons running like they life depends on it. First to arrived was Seunghyun because of his long legs and the last one to arrive was Youngbae. At the minute, you saw all of them you start to have tears in your eyes and can’t stop them. They all took you in their arms except Jiyong who was in a corner and didn’t want to approach you too much. You came right in front of him and told him this :

“ If I ask you to kiss me just one time, would you do it? So I would take a good memory before leaving Seoul to go where the wind will bring me… ? ”

He didn’t even answer you and just bring his lips to you in the most passionate and yet most sad kiss ever. Ever in your little world both of you could not stop you two except the voice that calls everyone that take the flight of Seoul to Canada. You separated and look at each other and just knew that you were both supposed to be together but destiny plan something else for the both of you. Maybe after his service, you could start something but for now, you had to leave everything and, so you taste once more his lips and leave before it was too late. When you were on the plane and it started to leave you were crying like a little five years old and no one could stop you. What you didn’t know was that in the airport he was doing the same thing as you and no even his brothers could stop him from crying all the tears he had because he lost the love of his life, as you lost yours too…

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What do you think? It's sad but just to let you know everyone the next one will be with Youngbae and with a more happy feeling!!!