Disclaimer:  written purely my imagination with a little touch of Jayden's idea and my girlfriend's help.

 

 

...

 

Lost in the city of London that was standing on the River Thames in southeastern England. Rosé swear she was on the right track based on her GPS but the buildings with a Roman's touch in front of her eyes defies the fact that she is.

 

Rosé felt like she had been running back to her starting point. Alone with thousands, probably millions of stranger walking pass by her. Sure there is signboard but the hotel she stayed in was supposed to be in the corner of the road she's standing now... 

 

-or that might be another delusion.

 

Thanks to her slow data and her glitching smartphone that burns her palm for using it less than five percent. The pin was marking on every building close to her and she could hardly sees where the pinned point due to the dark screen. 

 

The skyscrapers? These tall contemporary metal and glasses all look the same, that's least what she's worried about when she's been circling the Gothic designed building for quite some time and now her lips had become the victim to her assaultive teeth after she had broken her cuticles.

 

Her battery is running low and probably will die soon after the second goes by. The funny thing is Rosé didn't have any credits to call, and she didn't even remember her sister's phone number in case her phone really died. Rosé could note down a long list of numbers of other people's that she had but not Alice's. 

 

Maybe that's the struggle for students who takes add math in University. Seeing too much numbers make you sick of it, it makes her rely on her device which is futile at the moment. Why didn't she open and ask for direction? Rosé isn't shy, she had a little situation or she'd label as, 'allergic to socializing'.

 

Rosé starting to think that today was surely damned and was proven right when her phone battery died right when Alice called her. It since it was impossible for Alice to launch a police report in less than 24 hours. Rosé's last solution? Enjoy this moment while she can. 

 

'Why counter the waves when it'll wash you by the sea shore in the end?' calm breaths heaved out through her chapped lips, slowly, her eyes flutter open to a steady gaze. 

 

'It's not that bad, just fine.'  she managed to make her erratic heart beats chilled back to normal after a little mind tricks.

 

Rosé's mouth never stop exclaiming, she heads for wherever her feet brought her to. Amazed, that was underrated, she couldn't put into words of how full she's feeling. It filled in what she had been missing, --freedom. Although, Rosé would never admit it.

 

Rosé let her freedom feeds on what her eyes could capture. She loves the fact that the city of London was decorated with historic builds from first century of Roman and how it made her a little too overwhelmed. Heck it hasn't change much either after decades, but that wasn't the only reason why she was so lost in this city in the first place.

 

It was because of their courtesy of pleasing their customers, with a smile on their face and soft spoken words rings in her eardrums. The food that they served with love and passion, she could taste their sincerity in every corner of and let the happiness radiates through her body that made her lost.

 

Lost for word most of the time.

 

Rosé was grateful that somehow she still have her camera (fully charged battery), at least she still have money for the day and her favorite Nikon to capture every beauty this city has to offer.

 

•••

 

Rosé's eyebrows knitted in frustration when the image she captured was not as aesthetic as she expected. She checks the picture one more time,

 

'Was it the lighting or was it the angle that ruined it?'  she wondered with her head leaning slightly to the left before straighten back up. Rosé walked aimlessly with her troubled face on

 

-until she almost bumped into a kid.

 

"I am so so sorry" said Rosé as she slung her camera over her shoulder and she inspected the child's body even if she barely hits the child. 

 

The child however, dismiss it with a simple 'It's okay. ' and asked, "Are you?" 

 

Rosé chuckled at the silly question, she then replied, "Kid, I'm an adult, if I bumped into you, you might get hurt more than I do." but the kid chuckled, Rosé can tell she has something smart to say, "Well- most adults aren't hurting like we do, they hurt on the inside,"

 

Rosé stare at the child thoughfully before crouching down to be on her height instead of looking down on her, "You mean we hurt emotionally?" The kid nodded and she put her little hand on Rosé's chest, 

 

"Are you? You look bit frustrated to be honest." That's when it hits Rosé, her troubled face made this kid try to comfort her. If she was being the usual Rosé she is months ago she might cry from the sweet gesture.

 

"Am I? I don't really know." Replied Rosé honestly, a couple weeks ago her wedding got cancelled and she went across the world away from him just to mend her broken pride? Maybe she is.

 

The child smile and took out a chocolate from her pocket and pushed it into Rosé's palm, Rosé leaved query looks on the child's action, so the kid speak up, "But it's different from us, kids. Most of the time we are sure of what we are happy of. " Rosé smiled, she too agree at this statement. 

 

"It's easier being happy wasn't it?" Rosé added. 

 

The child nodded, "True, but it's hard to find happiness too, am I right?" challenge the child. Rose was impressed, the kid couldn't be older than ten but her mind is already wiser than her ex. She patted the kid's head using her free hand as a compliment.  

 

The child, upon realizing that Rosé wasn't going to eat the chocolate anytime soon sighed out in small frustration. She takes the chocolate from Rosé back -which almost made the latter whine and helped her to unroll the chocolate wrapper.

 

It was held out in the air (the chocolate) and Rosé leaned into the child to take a bite of it. Rosé's eyes lit up at the taste making the child giggled in joy. 

 

"Where did you get this?" Asked Rosé who was munching on it like a little kid. "If you stop in station 7 before the clock strike 19, you'll be good" Rambled the kid. Rosé was confused with the 'supposed to be direction' but nevertheless her eyes sparkled of joy with the thought of buying the chocolate had set a determination in her.

 

"So which way should I go?" Rosé asked again,

 

"Walk straight ahead and you'll see a train station signboard, turn to the left and it'll be on your right side, you'll be fine as long as you ride the last train before-" the kid's another wave of rumbling got cut by Rosé who already stride for the train without a second thought and put a deaf ears on the kid's advice 

 

"-probably not?" Sighed the kid. 

 

 

•••

 

Thankfully she could pull her last bit of brain cells to work with her. The train station she supposed to be in? She was standing right in the center of hectically, zooming in and out people who take the train. Rosé then spotted an old man, in a nice ironed uniform sat on the chair across of her.

 

Obviously there's no one other than the old man who could lend her a hand. When the crowd finally subsided, she made her way towards the man with her jumpy steps. He's not handsome but considering around his age, he looks pretty good.

 

"Uhm- excuse me, I'm looking for someone who sells the chocolates" Rosé asked awkwardly for in her fidgeting state from the old guard.

 

"Chocolates, child? " the old guard ask hesitantly, "You could be looking for it in the wrong place." Rosé could tell that he's right. No one sells chocolates here. No stalls nor someone that would offer her one. So where could the kid get the chocolates from?

 

Rosé thought for awhile with her lips puckered out like a child she is, Rosé d around her short before she fumbled a wrapper towards the old man,

 

"This." she says politely, hoping that it could somehow create a map in his brain if she's being kind instead of bringing back his memory by canning him. 

 

'Just kidding, I wouldn't have done that' thought Rosé.

 

The old guard must be familiar with the wrapper when he reacted as soon as he saw Rosé pulled it out for him, well it's no special but it's pretty cute, to Rosé at least. "But haven't ya heard 'bout the rumours of this seller?"

 

"What. A possibly serial killer who sells good snacks?" The man who was probably in his late forties chuckled lightly with his deep hoarse voice and nods his head at Rosé's humorous answer. 

 

"Your innocence surprises me, child" Rosé was dumbstruck for a minute, her mind goes 'WwhaAtT', the man then pats her shoulder and said,

 

"Must've tasted her homemade chocolates haven't cya'?" He didn't wait for her to respond and added, "Take this train, drop on the third stop, she'll be there." 

 

'Oh, it's a she. Won't be afraid to get snatched then'

 

Rosé thanked the uncle, or guard, whatever he is before hopping into the train. The ride was pretty cheap, well for her standard then yes, it was considered cheap. She found herself a seat, one that's the closest to the window. Camera was already place in her hand, Rosé's fingers pressed on the little button to captures the alluring beauty of sunsets before her eyes. 

 

Her hair flows when the wind teases it with the tip of her fingers. The calm she felt when the smell of old route remind her of home. Close, so close to home, it makes her mind wonder if there was a home in this foreign country.

 

It was not an air conditioned type of train, it was rather more to classic but not the expensive luxurious she use to ride around in Australia. It's simple yet enjoyable.

 

The image of torn seats, some of it and the sight of the inspector collecting their tickets before they got off all were caught and stored in her camera. The upside of candid photos was you see real emotions of people that you could rarely see, the downside of it? Well guess how looked like then. You'll be lucky if you didn't end up looking like a camel trying to smile.

 

"Hope you have an enjoyable ride" said the guy in uniform, who probably works there Rosé assume when she had finally landed her feet on the third station. The ride was comfortable and Rosé was satisfied with the customer service she got. 

 

What customer service? They don't serve you 150 pound for a cup of coffee, they don't give you one of those tissue that was printed with their train name on it. They served Rosé with memories of friendliness, how they joked with whoever without caring about their backgrounds, who needs a cup of coffee to stay awake when they had her laughing that her stomach goes numb. All the remembrance that this cheap train can give Rosé was her half-teared ticket that she's planning to keep safe for a while. 

 

'And it was worth it.'  Rose thought happily. Contented, she really is.

 

After the 22 hours of flight from Australia to London, this is the second time she's  able to take a good rest and brought back a few snap shots that frozes the moment. Rosé smiled, she almost forgotten about the main purpose she came to this area. Guess London really got her hypnotized. 

 

She looks around and notice the green surrounding, It's a park , actually. The oak tree stand tall at the centre of the park, while it was surrounded with trees that Rosé wasn't familiar with. You know that kind of tree that you saw in the geography book and were forced to remember them for finals?

 

More like to those kind but Rosé still didn't know what type of plants it was, who does after the exams over anyway? Rosé's chipmunk smile never left her lips, the only thing that she wanted to do now was, search for that one lady.

 

... more like that was how it is originally planned out.

 

Rosé walked around, the flowers that bloomed around fell graciously on top of her, Rosé can't help but let her lips pulled to a wider smile. She probably had spent the rest of her 2 hours in the park, roaming, taking pictures and bonding with dogs.

 

Rosé had completely forgot that she was supposed to go back before seven o'clock. The number of people minimizes sooner than Rosé expected, and so was her time. That's when reality hits her. The way she stretched her long legs for the run was obviously portraying her life in University when she's late for Ms Jung's business class. That one woman still got her some chill on the back of her neck even after all these years. 

 

But well, perhaps, she indeed was late.

 

"What?! That's the last train?!" Rosé felt like crying when the guy confirmed that she was stranded for the day here, in the station. The last train took off right after she was asking for the ticket going back to the city. 

 

Rosé slumply walked towards the bench and stared down on her feet as they daggles in the air when she finally sat down. Her camera slung tightly over her shoulder, now it add ups her worries, she'll probably die frozen in this open shelter and Alice would hate her for leaving without saying goodbye.

 

In her deep blue, she heard panting cutting her trance, like a dog was calling for her attention so she lift her head up to see (indeed) a dog with a basket around its' neck. 

 

Rosé smiled just then she realizes that the chocolate wrapper and the one that was kept inside the basket was quite similiar. Her heart leaped in joy and she pointed her finger on the dog, "Did you sell these?" Rosé asked the dog as she leaned in to grab some of the chocolates from the basket and place a money instead.

 

The whole round chocolatey snack almost made it way down to the middle of before a voice surprised her, "You didn't have to pay for it.."

 

For a second she thought the dog was talking to her,  hence why she is coughing right now,  but a warm hand on her shoulder assure Rosé that it's not. "Take it easy, take it easy" she heard the woman says,

 

After a series of choking-coughing fit, Rosé forces the chocolate down into her stomach though it taste a bit dry after the mishap. In that embarrassing situation, she looked up with her teary eyed as she was greeted with a fallen angel before her eyes that made her stares too long for her own will. 

 

The lady chuckled and handed the still baffled girl a bottle of water, "I'm sorry, didn't know that I'll scare you to that extent." her lips curved into a teasing smirk and Rosé just shakes her head in shyness. And embarrassment if she may add. 

 

"Who wouldn't? I was alone .. with a dog" Rosé croaked out and shrugged, she let her words out bluntly as if she had long known the stranger who made herself comfortable beside her on the bench.

 

The lady nodded her head, trying not to make Rosé feel uncomfortable by her presence, "Kuma is smart but he couldn't speak human" She joked and her smirk had turn to a small smile although she sounds pretty savage.

 

"What are you doing here all... ( Kuma, c'mere boy ) ..alone?" Rosé watch as the dog ran towards her owner -which is the lady, obviously, and settled on her lap with it's tail wiggling continuously.

 

Rosé reach out her left hand and patted the dog's head before she replied, "I was supposed to find you but I was stranded here instead" The lady looks up with question in her eyes so Rosé explained, "For the chocolates." Rosé gives her a playful smile before pulling out the same wrapper, again.

 

The lady's chuckled at Rosé's silly way of respond, before she forgot, she took out the money that Rosé put in the basket and hand it to her, "I can't take your money if I'm the reason why you're stranded." she said.

 

Rosé refused the money though, "Maybe I was meant to be stranded." she joked, the lady smile, Rosé could tell that she's grateful for the money, "What's your name?" Rosé asked. 

 

The lady hesitates for a second. Rosé saw how her pupils shaking before answering, "... Kim" 

 

Rosé tested the name on the tip of her tongue, "Mrs Kim. It was your family's name though, right?"  the lady nodded and shot Rosé a suspicious look, "How do I know?" Rosé asked, chuckling. "Because you don't look western as much as your accent did" The lady grinned at her answer. 

 

"But still... " she trailed before looking at Rosé cheekily, "I bet so do you" she said. Rosé faked a shocked expression which the latter erupted with cute laughter in return, "Stop that- it's annoying" the lady says as she tried to stifle another row of her giggles.

 

"So where are you staying tonight?" she asked, genuinely curious after her laughter successfully died down.

 

Rosé hums for a second then pats the metal bench and grinned, "Suites for a hardcore girl like me" The lady thought for awhile, she then open to say something but Rosé cut her, "There's no nearby hotel unless I had to walk 3 kilometers along this railways, I know." 

 

A moment of silent engulfed them as both were giving a thought to this matter ,"You could sleep at my place for the night..?" she suggested.

 

"Won't your husband be..?" Rosé then gesture a horn on top of her head.

 

The lady gives her a tight smile, "I live alone." she stated, the lady then advert her eyes to her pet, petting it lovingly. In hope to get rid of judgemental look from the other girl which quite the opposite.

 

Rosé was shocked, "With that condition?" by referring 'that',  she meant the baby bump that's probably due not more than a month or two. 

 

'This is it? This is what the old guard has referred to?'  Rosé's thoughts was racing in and out along the silence she had created.

 

The lady must've felt really awkward with the sudden brought up topic so she reached out her sweaty palm to grab the lady's. "Rough year huh?"

 

The lady didn't bother to pull her hands away from Rosé's sweaty palm that grew hotter under her touch, she needed this comforts. "I'm okay. As long as I have my little chipmunk with me.."

 

The lady looks down on her tummy then turned to Rosé, she nibbled her inner cheeks and says, "My place, it wasn't the best-" Rosé can sense that she's trying not to be embarrassed of her misfortune.

 

"I'm taking back my words, I think the bench is too hardcore for my liking." Rosé finishes, not to mention she grinned like someone had offered a kid a candy who secretly had received one earlier. 

 

The lady cackled, "Are you sure? I mean, you're going to a stranger's house..." 

 

Rosé flashes her infamous smirk, "Rather die in your hands than big, ol' , ugly murderer, yeah?" The lady laughed at Rosé's attempt to speak in British accent. Rosé was going red too but managed to covered it up.

 

"A'ight then gumball" The lady teases before turned around to walk to the opposite direction.

 

•••

 

It was a comfortable silence as they walk with Rosé cradling Kuma -the expensive brown Pomeranian fluff in her arms that's jumping in hype.

 

"Woah- woah there, chill" Rosé chuckled when she got pampered with sticky links from the dog. He didn't stop getting hype about the others' presence.

 

The lady, even with her baby bump still could walk faster than Rosé. "Hey, Kim... " Rosé called out softly, "I think it's better if you slow down," The lady chuckles at the name.

 

"Say, why do y-...you really search ...for me?" she said with her lungs gasping for air, for a pregnant woman, she sure walks alot.

 

Rosé shrugged, though she knows the lady couldn't see her doing it. "Pretty hard to explain." They've been walking by the railways which was quite worrisome for Rosé to witness, The lady finally walk (much more) carefully in her pleasure. 

 

"Keep going" she encourage Rosé.

 

"It's your chocolates..." Rosé slowed down and so does the lady who turned to face her, "I want to see how you make it," she says, her orbs were reflecting back to the lady like one of those cliché move they did in the movie.

 

Rosé continued, "I want to taste it raw," Rosé wet her lips subconsciously, pupils were wavering under the lady's attention "I want to capture every passion you've been pouring into that simple snack." she added, the last part of the sentences came out softer than any whisper the lady could barely grasp unto her words.

 

After what seems like an eternal of analyzing the red-haired girl, the lady asked her utmost question: Why?

 

Hurt. That was the image that's been implant before she shift her gaze upwards to the sky. Rosé never thought that she'll share this type of conversation. Let alone with a stranger. 

 

"Because I've taste the same effort... of-..of-..." the lady could see that she's indeed struggling through her words, "-I could feel your effort. It's like you made it for a special person, " she started.

 

"But they couldn't taste it... So you sell it for the people to take a bite of your efforts, you're not selling it for living, you're selling it to let them savour what the particular person couldn't." Rosé rambled.

 

"I- It's an idiot assumptions" she quickly takes back her words. She then apologize if she had interpreted the wrong idea. 

 

The lady nodded in understanding, "You're not right, but not utterly wrong either."

 

Letting the lady's words sink in, Rosé was befuddled, "I'm sorry, what? What does that supposed to mean?" 

 

The lady smiled when Rosé finally looked at her again before she turned her foot to head where they should've gone to, "I'm doing it part of my living now."

 

"But still let the world had a taste of it." Rosé added with a smile. 

 

'That's the taste where you rarely find anywhere. That's what makes it tasty.'

 

"Yes. Now, can you pick your pace faster please." The lady chirped joyfully as if they hadn't get through the awkward conversation.

 

•••

 

"This is it." she chirped before settling the house key on the small table that leaned close to the wall.

 

"Home sweet home." The lady said. She then moved aside to let the soaking Rosé in. As the lady had predicted, it had rain and Rosé being a sweetheart she is, let the lady to take cover using her camera bag.

 

So much for being classic huh?

 

Rosé put aside the lady's baskets and sorts while the lady placed her camera on the table since she's the only one who got covered. Kuma was on the corner of the room and dried himself up and wetting the floor but Jennie didn't mind since they're not going sleep on it anyway.

 

"It wasn't much.."

 

Rosé didn't look up to see the lady's face to know she's embarrassed with her own shelter. "It's comfortable. Thank you" She cut any attempt of the lady trying to flaunt her catastrophe. 

 

From what Rosé could see, she was abandoned. It's not the most appropriate words to say to pregnant woman. The house she lived in, it was fully furnished, but covered with thick layer of dust. What can she say? The lady was carrying a child.

 

The only way the lady know to enfold her calamity was to flaunt it. Judging her own state before everyone else does.

 

Rosé -the stranger she known and brought in earlier, she could tell the girl born with silver spoon in . From her hair down to her toes, she's expensive. The same title she used to hold  in the past. 

 

"The AC is not working,.." Jennie says while playing with her finger silently.

 

"I like breeze more, sorry" Rosé was starting to get annoyed with the lady's attitude when she's trying to be considerate.

 

"What's your name again? Kim?" Rosé ask as she distract herself by removing her soaking ripped jeans jacket and she tried hard to sound rude but her illness kicks in made her the exact opposite- soft. 

 

Rosé didn't continue when her stomach grumbled for food so she smiled sheepishly "opps."

 

"Jennie." Rosé look up to meet the lady's gaze, "Call me Jennie." she said. The corner of Rosé's lips itch to curve into a smile, but Jennie only sees that she shakes her head and turn away.

 

"What?" Jennie herself couldn't contain her own chuckles  although there's nothing funny. Rosé's giggles is dangerously contagious.

 

Jennie watched as Rosé's shoulder shakes when she held back her gurgling laughter. "A'ight woman, tell me that I can have your kitchen for a minute and I'll cook something for us" Rosé offered.

 

"..there's probably not enough for both of us.." Rosé put the self shaming comment on deaf ears, "I'll see what you have and we can shop tomorrow, as my payment  for the shelter tonight" she said before sending Jennie a weird wink. Weirdly able to tickle Jennie's heart. 

 

Jennie burst out laughing with her hands clapping like a seal and her pitch was higher than before, "Did both of your eyes just winked?! -NGHahahahhHa" 

 

Rosé acted like she's offended, dramatically placing her hand over her chest while backing away to the kitchen,

 

"Welp, that's supposed to be my charm" Rosé said, trying to cover up her shame. She then dried her hair by whipping it around like a whiplash. It's good that Jennie was far enough to not get whipped by the water droplets.

 

"Well said, gumball." Jennie giggled. 

 

•••

 

It was around twelve in the midnight. The two young women had just finished their tea while they exchanges random conversation, what's going on with their life and such. Jennie tell the part of her story most of the time because Rosé prefers to listen. She's a good listener when she's not in the mood to talk or when there's food  that prevents her to. 

 

"So you weren't  actually abandoned?" Rosé shamelessly asked. 

 

Jennie chuckled as she put down her tea cup, "No, Rosie. But I was abandoned by my parents after I decided to marry Kai." she explained.

 

Rosé could see the depression Kai left on his girlfriend, it must be hard for her. "-but he died before he could propose you.." Rosé added.

 

Jennie smiled. There's no sign of happiness in it and she managed to crack out a broken 'yes' from the back of .

 

They sit there still, face to face with Jennie's broken smile and Rosé's sympathetic gaze.

 

"We should go to bed, you promised to make chocolates with me tomorrow" Rosé playful grin was planted once again to Jennie's pleasure. She doesn't need anyone else to be pity towards her.

 

"Uhm.. about that.." Jennie eyed the only queen sized bed through the opened door of her bedroom.

 

Rosé then waved her hand in the air, refusing to sleep in one bed with Jennie "Oh- I'll sleep on the floor don't worry."

 

"No, it's too cold. Plus..." Jennie looked down on her baby bump in hesitation, but somehow a string on her heart is tugging in agreement. "I think 'we' could use some warmth" 

 

That's settled it. Both of them on the bed with Jennie's head on top of Rosé's shoulder. Rosé was wearing Kai's oversized shirt that fitted the latter perfectly and fresh new underwear for the night. 

 

As Jennie traces lazy pattern on Rosé's stomach, not that Rosé would complain but her illness almost jumped to it's perk the moment Jennie inched closer.

 

"how dyou know I'm under my dad's care?"

 

"Huh?" Rosé was too sleepy to process anything but Jennie surely knows how to keep her awake.

 

"When you said that it's my family name instead of guessing it's my husband's... How do you know that?" 

 

"You don't look that old to be married but if you did say that you're married then, I wouldn't be so shocked either 'cause I was supposed to marry this guy and-"

 

"And you didn't" Jennie guessed by the use of past tense and judging from Rosé's expression, she's not wrong. 

 

Rosé bites the inner part of her cheek,  trying hard to not let herself be overwhelmed again if she was going to say anything about that one ex of her. 

 

Rosé didn't turned to face Jennie but her chin rested on top of Jennie's crown, making herself comfortable. It's like they had known each for decades. Everything they did, whatever it is, it feels familiar. Maybe God had pulled out scrolls of their past life and combined it.

 

"And so do you" Rosé replied in a low voice, afraid that she'll disturb the smaller woman in her arms.

 

Though, she didn't, Jennie couldn't pull herself to sleep, "Mine's the worst."

 

Rosé wants to scoff to show her disagreement but that would be too rude, "You never guessed what I've been through.."

 

Rosé could feel Jennie's breath brushes on her sensitive skin, "tell me then, we might be fair one more time." she said gently.

 

Rosé's body tensed up for a slight second. Jennie aren't making it easy for her when she felt the latter's gaze on her. 

 

It took half of her energy to stay awake, the rest of it was not to let out excessive fluid of anxiousness and humiliating herself in their close proximity. 

 

 

•••

[flashback, Rosé's pov]

 

"Rosie- Rosieee"

 

She never fail to make my day, even in my worst ones. Lips pulled up into my favorite smile as she greeted me with kisses. 

 

I giggles when she had me trapped in her arms and has been showering my face with wet kisses. "I really enjoy the affection but.."

 

Her dark hazel eyes gazing me lovingly, "but what?" the playfulness rings cheerily, hands cupping my cheek as I lift her up that got her squirming.

 

I puckered my lips intended to give her a kiss but she dodge it, "But I'm really really hungryy" I said.

 

She bit down on her lower lip, a habit of hers when she tried not to smile like a fool. "I've prepared your favorite bone stew" 

 

I moan at the thought of it, "You," I said as I plant soft peck on her cheek, admiring her for the next 30 second before I assault her face with my lips"-I love you so much you don't even know." I said between the kisses.

 

Her giggles that fills my sorrows, her orbs that light up the world in an instant... she was my happiness, my everything... but...

 

It didn't last.

 

One day, she pushed me away. No calls, no messages, no nothing. I went to her house to get some answer, her mother told me she went away. I asked her friends but they gave me a solemn look.

 

That's when I know she found out.

 

The arrange marriage my parents set up for me. They knew that I was in a relationship with her,  that's why they set me up with the guy. They said he's the best guy for me, well-mannered, kind, good looking, highly educated,  extremely rich- every qualifications that could made me fall in love quickly. 

 

Well, they're not wrong, after a month or so, I grew to like him. I was fond of the attention he was giving me. I tried to lie to myself, shutting down my memories of her and replace them with him. I tried to make us worked but he's still not the one that I want.

 

So I confronted him on our wedding day.

 

"Kyungsoo, please-" 

 

"What the are you talking about?! You're ing gay?" It didn't turn out well, of course. He was pissed, very. The way his face redden by each second it looks like he's going to burst open.  "Then what do you take me as? Your bondsman?!" He shrieked.

 

I was trying to get a hold of his arms when I heard footsteps towards our direction,"-What?! No! I love you but.." I tried to tone down my voice but his parents barged in. 

 

"What's with the commotion?" It was his dad, someone that I highly respect to.

 

"Whatever you guys are fighting about just dropped it. You're getting married in less than an hour!" I had to say that it was ing intense being in the same room with them.

 

"We can't get married." we declared at the same time.

 

From here you could guess that everything turned into flip. I was blamed, obviously and I take it. Not for my dad but for her. I need her to blame me but I didn't get it. It's a punishment I've caged myself into and I was fully aware of it.

 

••• [flashback end] 

 

 

"Did you found her or you're still searching?" Jennie was close drifting to sleep, Rosé knows that judging from the sleepiness in her tone. 

 

She sighed as she relaxes in Jennie's arms. She turned to her side and hugged the latter close to her chest. They stayed in that position for a minute.

 

"She died." Rosé's shaky breath lightly reaches Jennie's eardrum. 

 

Rosé forces herself to gulped down the depression that's been hanging on the back of the throats ever since the start of her story "She was going to tell me but she found out about the engagement ." 

 

Jennie didn't speak at all, but she holds Rosé tight to let her know that she's listening. "She died when I reached the hospital" Rosé didn't hold back, she let her body shakes along as she cried.

 

After years, Rosé has once again being held lovingly with so much care in them. And after so long, Jennie was able to pull herself together.

 

•••

 

The sun has risen and Jennie, being a morning person she is, Jennie woke up earlier than Rosé. There's stain of tears at the corner of Rosé's eyelids.

 

Gently, Jennie reach out to cares her face. Rosé reminds her alot about him. How she smoothly joked with her, how she manage to slip sarcasm in it... how she makes her heart beat again. 

 

'Crazy. I've totally lost my mind.'  Jennie chuckles softly at her own thought, 'This feels exactly like falling in love'

 

Jennie shakes her unnecessary hunch, she then untangled herself from the latter's arm to prepare herself for another chocolate making day. It didn't take long for Rosé to wake up and helped Jennie to make it. 

 

-Not really but she didn't bother her either.

 

Rosé would help to clean the utensils and other stuff she could but mostly she would just take a few snap of Jennie from time to time. 

 

"Look at me, Jen" The said latter turned and to her surprise Rosé was taking a picture of her. All this while, she hadn't realize that Rosé did until then.

 

She chuckled at the image of the shocked Jennie. it's too cute for her heart to handle, and just had to slip it. 

 

"Huh?" Jennie question but laughed afterwards. She couldn't believe that the younger had stolen a picture of her and bashfully compliment her afterwards.

 

"It'll take a whole day for the chocolates to harden," Jennie said when her laughter subsides. 

 

"Won't it harden faster if you put them inside the fridge?"

 

"that's true..  But mine isn't working as it should be,  sadly.." Jennie said hesitantly as she placed the last batch of her chocolate with the rest. 

 

"Oh? So we're not selling today?" Rosé tilted her head to the side while eyeing the brunette. 

 

Jennie smiled at this question. Rosé takes note that Jennie would smile to whatever she says.

 

"We are. I've made some yesterday since it's my only source of income, right?" Rosé only responded with an 'ahh' she then packed her stuff since Jennie would be out real soon.

 

They were walking back on the same rail to the station with Kuma tail along and Rosé carrying the chocolates for Jennie to sell. 

 

"So you'll be going back to the city?" she asked.

 

Rosé nodded. "Yeap, Alice would kill me if I didn't." She turned around to look at Jennie and give her a cheeky grin, "I'll be back though-" 

 

Jennie lowered her head as she walked, she's happy to see Rosé again but she refused to show it, "Okay." 

 

Rosé left after the clock hits twelve noon, she doesn't want to burden Jennie so she left to search for her hotel and thankfully after bracing herself to talk to strangers, she managed to get back into her hotel room.

 

Alice indeed almost knocked Rosé to hell... but she hugged her shortly after. Obviously she's worried and she haven't slept a wink unlike Rosé who slept peacefully in stranger's arms.

 

Although Rosé didn't say that, Alice noticed how a fond smile never leave her lips. Rosé never keep secrets from Alice so she spill. From being lost to bumping the little girl and end up sleeping in Jennie's house. 

 

Rosé tell the story with much ardor that Alice had a bad feeling about the twinkling eyes and secret smiles that Rosé had failed to restrain.

 

"You like her?" it's simple but it managed to caught Rosé's words. 

 

"-wh"

 

"Oh god..." Alice face-palmed herself when Rosé give her one of the dumbest reaction. "I'm telling you, Rosie... Dad's heart going to blow if he knows this."

 

Rosé didn't say anything though, "I'm just making friends..." she replied softly.

 

"Friends? Have you forgotten that your anxiety disorder is the reasons why you don't have one?!" Alice messes her hair frustratedly. "The last time you make 'friends' ended up being your girlfriend !" Alice heaved out desperately and yes, Rosé have anxiety way more than normal person would.

 

They got two weeks to spend in the country and her sister is planning on having a girlfriend that probably would be the main caused of her father's death.

 

Rosé was already tearing up at the end of the bed. She hates being scolded, especially if it's Alice. Her sister sighed gravely when she took a second glance on Rosé then engulfed her in warm hugs as Rosé cried silently.

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

"Fine. Do whatever you want but I'm warning you, the impact might be big enough for you to regret." Alice whispered in her ear and Rosé tried to soaked in her sister's reminder.

 

•••

 

Hands full with groceries, phone fully charged and and pockets full of money. Rosé made her way back to Jennie much to Alice's dismay, Rosé decide she's going to stay there for a bit.

 

As soon as her feet landed on the familiar station, she spotted Kuma with a basket hanging on his neck.

 

"Hey boy~  where's your mommy?" She crouched down and patted the dog when the dog came to her. Before she knew it Jennie was already standing in front of them.

 

Rosé lift her head then grin widely for Jennie to see. 

 

"Are you moving into my house, Rosie?" she joked with her stern voice, eyeing the bag full with groceries.

 

"Mhmm maybe?" after their giggles died down, Rosé noticed that Jennie was staring at her. "What?" 

 

"You have a really beautiful smile" it slipped so smoothly that even in her flustered state, Jennie managed to appear confident.

 

Rosé blushed and her pupils are shaking, even her palms started to sweat more than she needed at the moment. "..thanks" she replied shyly then let her head hung low.

 

Jennie looked away after she clears and speak up to ease the awkwardness, "so we're going back?" Rosé nodded.

 

It was a short walk. Still, with Jennie in front of her, leading the way. Rosé was still caught in her flustered state that she didn't dare to speak up.

 

She has wandered her eyes around and just then she realized there's numbers along the rail. Curious, she asks Jennie relating to it.

 

"Oh, that's been there since I moved here with my boyfriend. There used to be three houses before us and to avoid from being confused with it, they put those numbers" explained Jennie.

 

"Number 5? That's quite far..." sighed Rosé. Jennie wasn't offended or anything, she giggled before turning back to face the latter.

 

"That's a mental tricks, Rosie. Look, we're not too far from the station," she says as she pointed to the blurry outline of the station.

 

Rosé scoffed sarcastically and Jennie noticed it. She gave her a teasing smirks, "You didn't say this last time though"

 

Rosé shrugged but a warm smile crept on her kissable lips.

 

'What the , Jen. Kissable lips, huh? Nice.'  Jennie squint the thought back and act normally although she could feel Rosé's curious glance on her back. 

 

 

•••

 

Rosé filled up every corner of Jennie's fridge. Jennie finally sat on the stool on the kitchen after a long day out in the park. She watch as Rosé fed Kuma after arranging the ingredients for their dinner later.

 

"Rosé?" Jennie called after been she realized she had been staring at the said girl for quite some time.

 

Rosé hummed as respond before turning her attention to the older woman. "Do you need anything?" she asked as she slowly made her way towards Jennie.

 

Jennie reached out for Rosé's hand. "Did you do this because you sympathize me?" she question with hurtful expression on her face. Rosé gripped on her hand tighter when she was asked.

 

"What?" Rosé was perplexed with the sudden change of mood. Jennie was doing just fine until this happened, "No, Jen. I'm not doing this for you" it's wasn't a complete lie, she does sympathize the latter despite she doesn't want to.

 

"So who are you doing this for?" Jennie watch Rosé crouch down to be at the same level with her baby bum, the next sentence forced Jennie to recall her bittersweet memories.

 

"For this child's future, Jennie." 

 

"For this child's future, Jennie."

 

"For this child's future, Jennie."

 

"For our future, Jennie." 

 

Jennie could see his sweats drip on the floor of their house. His clothes was soaked with his sweats but he didn't stop carving on the piece of block.

 

He was always working. Even two to three jobs at a time. Jennie came closer then helped him to wipe his sweat with a piece of ripped cloth. 

 

"I could work. "Jennie started carefully, hearing no objection she continued, "I have a degree-"  his jaw clenched and Jennie immediately shuts . The knocking got louder and his face grows redder by the next second.

 

He slammed the hammer down with curses left his lips,"I could work. I could support you. Don't insult me like this Jennie."  He pleaded.

 

He hates it when Jennie starts talking about working. He wants Jennie to stay home and leave the work to him. Jennie knows that he had become the slave of guiltiness and expectations of her father.

 

Jennie understand that the pressure he's going through but if she wanted to help him with her way, it's going to ruin his pride as the man in the house. In the end, she keep quiet.

 

He laid down his hand on the table and sighed, "I promised your parents that I'll have a stable financial for us before we'll get married."

 

"I understand." she whispered. He lift up his head before he rose from his seat. Dusting of the pieces of wood off him as he made way to his love one, to hug her tightly.

 

"I love you. I want to marry you and make you happy but I had to sacrifice some things." He looked down on her then wiped away her tears, "No, pain no gain, right?" he tried to joke.

 

"You ." Jennie giggled heartily as she punched his chest playfully.

 

"Jen?"  she hummed as she answer.

 

"Jennie?" 

 

"Jennie?" Jennie took a deep breath when Rosé finally pulled her back to reality. "I think you better rest for a bit, I'll finish making our food in a few.

 

Rosé helped her to walk to the single couch and handed her a glass of warm milk. "When did you make this?" 

 

Rosé grinned, "When you were too deep in your own thoughts." 

 

Like Rosé promised, the food finished shortly after. Rosé helped her to the table and even feed her. Jennie wondered where did the shy, anxious girl had fleed to? 

 

Rosé was much more calm this time, she smiled alot too and taken Jennie by surprise with pretty smooth compliments. 

 

"Don't pampered me too much, Rosie. " says Jennie before eating the food that Rosé fed her. 

 

Rosé scoffed, "Just enjoy it, okay? I'll have to go back this weekend so by then, I need to pamper you as much as I can." 

 

"Why?" Rosé raised both of her brows in confusion, "Why does it felt like you're doing this for someone else instead of me?" Jennie continued and hurt was visible as she speaks.

 

Rosé didn't reply, just stare at Jennie and that's when she realized the emptiness behind the younger's giggles and laughter. Jennie thought she had seen enough grief through her whole year but Rosé proved her wrong with only a glance of her past lover crossing in her head.

 

Rosé had lift the heavy of the world in one shoulder, she could in anytime, any second of her life crumpled down below the weight and no one would realized because she'd been masking all of her happiness. Fabricated it really well that you're confused which story holds the truth. That's how Rosé had Jennie hooked around her fingers before they even know it. 

 

Rosé took her time with the answer then looked down on her lap with a tight smile quirk up on the corner, "Because I've lost the chance to." she stated.

 

Jennie watch the fingers that swirled her food with the spoon as they fall in silence. Out of the blue, Jennie had this one silly idea,

 

"aah," Apparently, her 'smart'  idea of breaking the ice was by Rosé feeding her. Rosé looked up with a teasing smirk but she compromise and continue to feed the latter.

 

Jennie liked it when Rosé was giving her the attention after so long being alone. And she is well aware that if Rosé left her, it's going to hurt.

 

That night they're in the same position with Jennie's head on top of Rosé's shoulder. Rosé was humming to random tunes that popped in her head. 

 

Rosé laid back with smooth forehead, Jennie's steady breathing worked along her tunes pretty well. She couldn't sleep, yet. She was flashing back of what her sister has said. 

 

'Plus, who within a short time could fall in love? That's barely a time too...'  the crinkle of annoyance appeared on her forehead. Rosé lightly massage the bridge of her nose not to ease any pain but it's her way to focus. 

 

Rosé wasn't certain if she love Jennie but she surely had taken a fond of the latter, surprisingly in a short amount of time. 

 

Jennie's sweet steady breathing had lull Rosé to sleep because her eyelids were dropping. Rosé had probably shut her eyes for fifteen minutes or so when Jennie suddenly jolted in her arms causing her to sit up along. 

 

Rosé swear her head felt like she'd been hit with a baseball bat with her sudden movement. She panicked, her pupils dilated at the sight of crouching Jennie with her jaw clenched hard enough to break her own.

 

Rosé hoovered Jennie's body and was greeted with sweaty forehead Jennie, "Jen? What's wrong?!" Rosé had her hands on Jennie's shoulder lightly gripping on it.

 

Rosé could see the tears welled up around Jennie's lids and her words become incoherent to the point her lips quivered in agony.

 

"Are you in pain?!" being a reckless panicked person she is, Rosé just irritated Jennie more.

 

If Jennie wasn't suffering she'd love to slap Rosé for being an idiot. "Where?!" Rosé tried to reach for her tummy but she shakes her head.

 

Rosé's hand travel downwards to her thighs but again, she shakes her head. Rosé gulped down dryly, when her palm contact with Jennie's bare skin. Rosé shakes it away but when she reach her calf Jennie suddenly nodding vigorously. Rosé assume that Jennie's muscle are cramping. 

 

Patiently, Rosé tend Jennie's calf but she was sure that wasn't the only part that was hurting, Jennie could've broke her spinal cords judging by how hard she jolted.

 

She didn't sleep after that. Not because of the previous event but it was because she need to make sure that Jennie was alright. Even though the older has fallen back into her deep slumber, Rosé still couldn't get over of how cute she's looks like.

 

Rosé sit up and stretches her limbs and successfully earning a satisfying cracks. Since she got nothing to do, she lay on her side to witness one of God's greatest creation as the sun rises.

 

•••

 

It was Rosé's last day in Jennie's place. All the time she spend there was fun. But she need to fly back to Korea the next day. Alice did came by to visit and she was fond of Jennie's courtesy. They blends well.

 

Rosé was busy packing her bags with Jennie's eyes lock on her. "I'm going to miss you..." she heard Jennie saying behind her. It's the only thing that ever left Jennie's lips since this morning.

 

"I know. " Rosé replied. She then turned to Jennie who was clearly, devastated with her leaving, "C'mere" Rosé opened her arms for a hug. 

 

Jennie clutch onto her jacket until her knuckles turned white when she finally got a hold of Rosé. The young Aussie didn't miss the hollow look Jennie had on her. 

 

She then wrapped her arms securely around the smaller girl, but cautious not to hurt her baby in process and placed a kiss on the crown of Jennie's head.

 

"I'll call, remember?" she asked before she cup Jennie's face in her palm, looking up on her with slightly wet face.

 

It's different. Rosé won't have much time for her and she couldn't touch nor see the latter in front of her eyes and she doesn't even know what's worse. 

 

They walk out after Rosé kissed Kuma goodbye and purposely place a brown envelope in his basket. "I promise I'll come back with much more." 

 

'Much more what? Time? Money? Memories? ...or trouble?'  Rosé smiled sadly at the last word and kisses the tip of the pet's nose before she walk away.

 

She held Jennie's hand tight in hers. Thankfully, her palm weren't sweating to embarrass herself. They let the silence accompany their walk to the station and Rosé stopped which eventually made Jennie to do the same. 

 

"Can you promise me something?" Rosé asked out of the sudden. Jennie nodded as an answer, so she continued "Whatever happen, do you promise to stay by my side?" 

 

Jennie hold Rosé's gaze but she knew Jennie weren't exactly with her. She sighed before answering her question, "Yes, I promise" Jennie said to Rosé's relief but it didn't stop there, "with one condition, it must be with your family consent." Rosé frowned at this.

 

"Then it's useless." Rosé replied sadly.

 

Jennie smiled weakly, she's not dumb enough she reach out to tuck Rosé's hair behind her ear, "No matter how much you love doing something, it'll not work out without their consent." Jennie explained. "Just like my relationship..." 

 

Rosé a deep breath. Suddenly leaving Jennie feels so wrong and it felt like half of her soul was pinned onto the ground, unwilling to go back. However, she nodded at the agreement.

 

"Thank you for the awesome memories." 

 

•••

[Rosé's pov]

 

It was a ing long flight. I think I've tossed and turned in the exact same spot for the last twenty hours and I still have two more hours to go.

 

"If you can't sleep anymore then stop moving" Alice grunt in annoyance. 

 

I didn't roll my eyes at her to state my objection which kind of new to her. "Wow. Did she brain washed you into easier to..." Alice struggle to with her words that made me chuckle. 

 

"-to tolerates with?" I suggest.

 

Alice nodded and I had to agree, other than crying I was sulky most of the time and it picked out my savage animal in me.

 

But that was before, and now I don't know... I've lost for words in everything. Speechless. 

 

A few hours more and back to my old life. Living up to my parent's expectations. If any of you are wondering what did I do for living, I'd say that I was pleasing people for money.

 

'Yes, ma'am' , 'Settled, Sir' , 'I'll get it arrange, Ma'am' It's business we're talking about. You had to please your customer although there's a saying that "You can't always please everyone around you." 

 

In order to repay my parent's sacrifices for me, I managed to pull a thick layer of skin to my face. 

 

•••

 

There's not a day where Jennie didn't cross my head. 

 

'We've been here before...' I tried to pull out her image by the end of my hair but surely, it's no use. I sighed almost for the hundred times and Jisoo, my PA is worried for me. 

 

I would too, I worth a billion dollar in this company, mind you. -Nah, just kidding. 

 

"You've got bags under your eyes," she's concern, I could tell by her tone. I lift my chin up for her and give her a cheeky grin as a reply.

 

Something I'd do to hide my misery from anyone but  impossibly could penetrate to Jisoo.

 

"Come out clean to them, Rosé." she encourage gently. Jisoo made her way to my table and I instantly were wrapped around her petite arms.

 

I leaned back after and closes my eyes. Jisoo looked at me in the eyes while she made herself comfortable on the desk. Damn it would actually feel good to get some sleep before the storm.

 

'They won't accept it. Like how they won't accept krystal.' 

 

I did, eventually listened to Jisoo's advice. Here I am sitting across my dad with mum beside him. Constantly shifting in my seat and it didn't go unnoticed by dad. I could feel his eyes on me since I've sat down. I think a family dinner is a taboo in our ménage. 

 

I tried to clear my head and I could tell for crystal clear that the sound of their spoon against the plate is triggering my system that I'm nothing but a nervous wreck.

 

"I ... h-have something urgent to... to say." my dad scoffed at my struggles while I heated up in my seat.

 

Alice silently reached for my hand under the table and give it a gentle squeeze. She put on an unreadable mask on her facial as she carry on eating. Alice never let go of my hand which I am thankful for.

 

"If," my dad started, without taking his eyes off his plate "you're saying that you're going back to Kyungsoo, I wouldn't mind but if it's about that girl that has been distracting you then... save it." dad stated clearly with firm and seriousness. 

 

I knew dad knows about Jennie. Alice didn't have to let the cat out of the bag, my dad has his own way of finding out what's what.

 

I whimpered hopelessly, "Please, dad. I don't wanna argue with you." 

 

I watched as his lips open to sighed in displeased, he lift his eyes and look at me right with still and dull, "So do I, Rosé, " Dad huffed then stand on his feet, "so do I." and he left. 

 

And as for mum, she never need to say anything. The moment her eyes cast down refuses to look at me was a straight out message that she's dissapointed. My legs is shaking when I put my weight on it. I thought I was the only one giving up.

 

I turned to Alice helplessly before she engulfed me in a warm embrace, "All's well, sunshine." she whispered. I hold onto her words dearly and hope it come true.

 

•••

 

This is it. Exactly how I imagine what would happen. It did. After knowing that it'll happen makes it hurt even more. Funny, I thought I was ready.

 

Took in a deep breath and exhale like I never had. Am I the only one? The only one that prayed she's my soul mate?

 

I think I moped too much that when a white slip appear in front of me send me on my back to the ground. 

 

The image of upside down Alice with a nasty grinned got me cursing "in' , Alice!" and she got the gut to laugh. .

 

"What a cheery laugh, bet you agree with dad..." It came out too harsh than I intended to. 

 

It didn't stop from her sunshine to decrease any of it's shines, "Look what I've bought you and I, fancy a dinner real well as payment." 

 

The white slip fell graciously on my lap, written in bold words was my name: Park Chaeyoung, destination, London, United Kingdom.

 

•••

[3rd Pov]

 

The train hooted upon it's arrival. Chest heaves and a fresh air in. She waited in the platform, watching as each person walked out of the black train.

 

'Let's just wait a little longer,' she thought to herself. 

 

She had been repeatedly came to this platform with high expectation and each time the red hair didn't appear, she'd came with bigger hopes. 

 

The train hooted for the second time, a sign that it'll be moving to the next stop. With a heavy heart, Jennie turned to the other direction. 

 

Kuma barked his loudest that day and Rosé was eventually, there. 

 

"WAIIIITTTT, " Jennie with her teary eyed chuckled at the sight of Rosé running for the exit.

 

Rosé stops in front of Jennie with her hand on her knees "I fell -asleep" she pant, "I fell asleep" she said again.

 

Jennie giggled as she wiped off her tear stains with her left hand, "Obviously not the only one." nodded Jennie towards the child she's cradling.

 

Rosé smiled, she held out her arms, "May I?" Jennie placed the little baby in Rosé's arms.

 

"Welcome back, Rosie" whispered Jennie gently. 

 

"I came with a wish," Rosé started, "and I sincerely hope that you'll take a chance on me." 

 

"But your parents-"

 

"They agree as long as you dare to take a leap," replied Rosé lowly although she wasn't looking at the older girl.

 

A moment of silence. No one was interrupting them or such. It was that moment when Rosé look up to see Jennie smiling generously, "Let's go home"

 

 

-

special thanks to my girlfriend and an advance gift?