“This is pretty cool, have we ever been in a train like this altogether? Like American-style?” Taemin asked, shoving his bag in the over-head compartment. 

“We’re in Canada, so I think its French,” Kibum said without looking up. He flipped to a new page in his magazine, barely looking at it. He was already settled into a window seat, as was Jinki who sat next to him. Taemin was still struggling to keep his bag from falling out, and Jonghyun might have already passed out in the seat behind him. He looked up briefly to see Minho in the aisle seat next to Jinki’s, video camera out and judging by the way the lens kept moving in and out, was taking zoom shots of his face. He scowled instantly. 

“As pretty as I am, can you give me warning next time? Jesus put it away, we can film later,” Kibum said, turning back to his magazine, this time pointedly glaring at the pages much harder than he needed to. 

“You’re just mad the production staff didn’t give you a camera to control for the ride,” Minho said teasingly. 

“Yeah, instead they gave it to you and the kid who can’t even store his damn bag – Jesus, Taemin, it’s fine! Sit down!” 

“Kibum stop making a fuss, we haven’t even started moving yet,” Jinki said, looking up from his phone for the first time. Kibum looked at him out of the corner of his eye and let out a small huff of air. 

“You’re right. Sorry Taemin,” he said. 

“It’s okay hyung, we’ve been travelling since yesterday, I think we’re all a little grumpy,” Taemin said, finally getting his bag to stay. He looked down at Jonghyun, seeing him asleep and sighing. “Hyung,” he whined, tapping Jinki on the shoulder, “Jonghyun-hyung is already asleep,” Jinki turned in his seat to see that yes, Jonghyun had fallen asleep. He sighed. 

“Just sit there then Taemin,” Jinki said, vaguely waving his hand over his shoulder. 

“Will you sit with me, hyung?” Taemin asked. Jinki sighed again, but smiled as he stood up anyway. 

“Sorry Kibum, have fun with Minho,” He said as he moved to follow Taemin to their new seats across from Jonghyun. Kibum watched from his seat. Taemin took the window, and Jinki remained on the aisle. Taemin gave Jinki a beaming smile before beginning to whisper urgently about something or other, smile never leaving. Kibum watched them from between the gap in the seats awhile longer, noticing how Jinki returned a soft smile, before his neck started to hurt from the angle and he returned his focus to his magazine, noticing he hadn’t flipped a page in almost five whole minutes. He felt more than saw Minho move into the seat next to him. 

“Where is everyone else?” Kibum asked, not looking up.  

“Dining cart getting food, I think,” Minho replied, turning on the camera again. He fiddled with the settings before pressing record, the focus on Kibum’s eyebrow scar, zooming out slowly until his whole face filled the frame, “So Key-ssi, what’s your concept for this trip?” Minho asked brightly. Kibum wanted to roll his eyes, instead he smirked and look directly at the camera. 

“A Man Who Wants to Enjoy His Vacation,” he said with a hint of sarcasm. Minho chuckled and flipped the camera’s screen over to show Kibum himself. Kibum’s eyes widened when he saw himself, “Ah, this is terrible, I don’t have makeup on and I’ve had no sleep,” he whined, pouting in an exaggerated way. Minho laughed again. 

“It’s okay, it suits you,” He smiled from behind the camera. 

“Why don’t you film yourself?” 

“How can I when you clearly stated before that any photo without you is just a background?” Kibum gave the camera a blank stare in response. 

“Film those two or something. Get a nice zoom shot of Jonghyun-hyung's drool,” he suggested, pointing off camera. Minho shook his head slightly but complied anyway. He made some narrative comments as he filmed the other members for a few minutes, before turning the camera off again. He turned back around to get comfortable, gently tossing the camera back on his old seat where he had left his bag. 

“So, really what’s the concept for this trip?” Minho asked, turning to face Kibum more fully. Kibum flipped another page, almost reaching the end of his magazine at this point, though he’d barely read any of it. 

“What do you mean? While the camera is on or off?” 

“Both.” 

“On -- the usual. Off – also the usual.” 

“Alright, does that mean you’re going to glue yourself to Jonghyun-hyung while the camera is rolling, only to stick yourself to me, Taemin, or hide away by yourself when its off?” Minho questioned, clearly trying to direct the conversation in a round-about way. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kibum snapped, shutting his magazine. 

“Just wondering what your plan was,” Minho said innocently, with a shrug. After a moment though he started pointedly eyeing Kibum as a hint for him to talk. 

“I was hoping I’d get filming control so I wouldn’t have to worry about where to put myself,” he replied, giving in. Minho hummed in response, “I do want to enjoy this trip though. I’ve never been anywhere in Canada before, spare the two times we were here in Toronto.” 

“We all want to, but you know with filming too it’ll be harder,” Minho sighed, stretching out in his seat. Kibum nodded, turning to rest his head on his hand and look out his window. The train lurched forward suddenly, making him almost loose his purchase on his arm rest, but then they were off – finally moving. 

“So, what were you trying to get at with the Jonghyun comment?” Kibum mumbled against his hand after a solid ten minutes of just watching the scenery change around them as they made their way out of the city. The trip from Toronto to Montreal wouldn’t take more than a few hours, and after that they were given the whole day to “relax” (meaning, film around the city for the tour DVD extras). 

“You know,” Minho replied. 

“I don’t, that’s why I asked,” Kibum said, annoyed. 

“No, you just want me to change my answer,” Kibum rolled his eyes, “Do you want to revisit this topic now? We do nearly every time we promote, travel, tour, you name it – if you’re drunk and have been forced to be in his presence for more than twenty-four hours within forty-eight hours, you’ll about it.” 

“I don’t  about it -- I confide in my supposed best friend. Of whom apparently finds my ing annoying,” Kibum snapped back.  

“Kibum,” Minho stated simply. Kibum lost the bite in his tone when he spoke next. 

“Minho, it’s complicated,” he began, much the same as he always does when they discuss this topic sober. 

“I know it is, I know it through and through – since we were nineteen years old Kibum. Nineteen! Do you know how old we are now? It’s been nearly ten years, during which two whole relationships have come and gone, and you’re both still in the same bull situation as you were in before; over eight damn years ago,” Minho had turned in his seat again, looking at Kibum as intently as he could manage with him purposefully avoiding his eyes. Kibum couldn’t find it in himself to answer. Minho sat back in his seat after more than a beat, clearly frustrated with the lack of retaliation, “You need to talk about it eventually,” he said at last. 

“You just complained about how much I talk about it,” Kibum said into his palm again. 

“Not to me, Kibum,” his tone pointedly suggestive. Kibum shook his head. 

“I’ve made it this far Ming, I can go a lot longer.” 

“Yeah, because you’re a stubborn jackass,” Kibum scoffed, turning to face Minho again. 

“Yet, you still keep me around,” he said flatly. 

“We’re on contract,” Minho retorted and Kibum scowled.  

“Beyond rude, and beyond bull – and you know it.” 

“Maybe,” Minho said, a small smile tugging at his lips, and some of the tension between them faded. After a moment of relatively comfortable silence, Kibum sighed heavily before deciding to speak up. 

“There’s never going to be a right time Ming, there’s never a chance – the topic never brings itself up, and if I haven’t figured out how to say it by now, I never will. It’s just a fact. We’re close friends, and more importantly, we’re business partners. I can’t be so selfish. We’ve been over this too,” Kibum said finally. 

“Kibum, that was the excuse you started using six years ago, but it just doesn’t work anymore. We’re more than coworkers, we’re practically family--” 

“Exactly! How can I tell my ing brother I love him?” he nearly shouted back, catching himself just before his voice raised too high, “I’ll get over it eventually, can we just--” 

“No, we cannot just ignore it. Could you ignore it when he dated Sekyung? No. Could you ignore it when you dated Hyeongseop? No. Face it Kibum, this isn’t some school-yard crush. This is serious,” Minho cut him off sharply. Kibum recoiled at the mention of Hyeongseop – that was a door he hated opening. It was messy, full of pain and a lot of bitter-sweet memories.  

“That’s not fair Ming – I did love Hyeong, just--” 

“Just not as much as you loved him. As much as you still love him. Please stop kidding yourself Beom, it’s starting to tear me apart watching you suffer like this. Even Taemin and Jinki know something is up by now – even if they’re not sure exactly what,” Kibum’s eyebrows knitted together immediately at that. 

“I thought you said no one could tell,” he asked, worriedly. 

“Beom, the fans can ing tell,” Minho deadpanned. 

“That’s just their delusion, it’s not based on reality,” Minho continued to stare. 

“You’re joking right?” Kibum just groaned in response. 

“Just drop it Ming, you know why I can’t say , so just let me cry on your shoulder tonight after the company dinner like I always do--” 

“Ugh, where are we?” they suddenly heard a grunt from behind them. Kibum immediately froze, slowly turning to see Jonghyun rubbing his face, awkwardly slouched down in his seat. He gaped slightly, stunned at his own stupidity of talking so opening with the man in question literally sat behind him.  

“Nearly there by now, hyung,” Minho said, leaning towards Kibum to see Jonghyun through the seat gap. Jonghyun just made a noise of confused distress in response before readjusting and seeming to pass out once more. Kibum watched him a moment longer before turning sharply to glare at Minho. 

“You did that on purpose,” he hissed. 

“I have no clue what you’re talking about Beom, he was asleep the whole time.” 

“I swear, for the love of , Ming, if he starts acting weird, or asking weird questions, I will break your legs while you sleep,” Kibum said darkly. Minho chuckled. 

“Now, where have I heard that before?” 

--- 

“Okay boys,” Chojin said as they piled out of their van, “Everyone is staying along this strip,” he continued, gesturing in front of him towards the rows of chalets, “we split the lodgings by group, just to make it easier. Some groups take up more than one though, so I’m not kidding when I say we have his entire row. The main building is down there,” he pointed off to the left, “that’s where we’ll have the company dinner tomorrow, in the main even room. There’s also ski rentals, a café, and a regular restaurant there. Front desk is also there if you get lost,” He paused, looking to Taemin to make sure he was listening, before turning to Jinki, who nodded solemnly, “okay then, you guys are in house four, here are your keys, your job for the rest of the day is to hang out around the grounds here at Mont Tremblant, and film some crap for SM Town VII’s DVD extras. Got it? Great. I’m going to my room to relax, but call me if you need at thing,” and with that he started off down the road in the direction of the staff lodging. He paused again to look back, “Don’t need anything.” Kibum rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, sir manager-nim,” he said in a sarcastic tone, Chojin simply waved as he kept walking. Kibum took a moment to look around, noting their bags had been pulled out of the van, but were stacked in a pile next to it still, “I guess we’re taking our own bags.” 

“Yes, your highness, how rude of the servants to not do it for you,” Minho chided moving to grad his suitcase and duffle bag from the pile. Kibum scowled at him. 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it – hey! Taemin, get back here, we’re not taking your in for you!” Kibum called out when he noticed Taemin had already begun making his way to their unit. 

“Give my bags to Jinki-hyung,” he shouted back, without slowing down. Kibum stared after him for a moment more in disbelief before making a move to grab his bags, pulling Taemin’s away from the pile, fully intending to just leave them there for the brat to pick up on his own, when Jinki stopped him by holding out his hand. 

“You heard him, give me his,” he said when Kibum looked up at him. Once again Kibum was left to stare in disbelief when Jinki just took the bags without another word. Maneuvering both his and Taemin's carry-ons over his shoulders and grabbing the remaining suitcases with both hands. He was half way down the road before Kibum shook himself out of his stupor, looking over to Minho, who had come to stand beside him. 

“What’s with them?” he asked quietly. 

“No clue,” Minho replied, “come on let’s go, before Taemin picks out rooms for us,” Kibum nodded, but paused to look behind him to see how Jonghyun was doing. The man had been unusually quiet since they arrived in Quebec.  

“You okay there, hyung?” Kibum asked, causing Jonghyun to startle, he looked up from his phone quickly before pocketing it and grabbing his bags. 

“Yeah, sorry was just distracted,” he caught up to where Kibum was waiting and they began walking together, “so how was the train ride for you? I ended up sleeping the whole way,” he elbowed Kibum in his side lightly, “thanks by the way,” he added with sarcasm. 

“We tried to wake you, but you know you sleep like the dead no matter where you are,” he elbowed him back, “but the ride was fine. Minho got real annoying with that camera though. I think whoever does the editing might get vertigo,” he added dryly. 

“Don’t tell him that, he’ll probably cry and then do even more weird angles. Y’know how into photography he’s been these past few years.” 

“Then he should just get an Instagram like a normal person, not hog company cameras and experiment to my detriment.” 

“I have one of the DVD cameras too, did you want to take a look around with me after unpacking, then?” Jonghyun asked, holding out the camera what was slung over one shoulder for emphasis, “might beat being Minho’s composition model,” he gave a friendly smile for encouragement. Kibum smiled in return, but worried it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Internally he found himself both keen on the idea, but also lightly wary. He decided though, that it probably would beat hanging out with Minho for who knows how long. Plus this way he could avoid being trapped in another conversation about Jonghyun. So instead he decided to agree to hang out with... Jonghyun. He groaned internally. 

“Sure hyung, sounds great,” He could feel his smile tighten unnaturally, “how about we go look at the main building and just get a feel for the area? There might be something worth filming that end of the resort,” he continued conversationally. Jonghyun nodded, looking ahead again as they neared the correct chalet.  

“Is there anything you wanted to talk about?” Jonghyun asked, his tone light, yet leading. Kibum instantly felt his hands clam up, his throat getting tight. 

“What do you mean?” he sounded unsure of his question, even to his own ears. His mind was going in every direction, trying to think of cover-ups and excuses, with a significant amount of brain power going into plotting Minho’s rapidly approaching death. 

“I don’t know, you just look like you’ve had a lot on your mind lately – you've been working on your solo comeback right? Must be stressful, no?” Kibum instantly relax. He almost stumbled up the steps, his legs feeling like jelly. 

“Oh yeah – yeah I've been pretty busy,” he said lamely in an attempt at nonchalance. At this point they had reached the top of the stairs, and before Kibum could open the door and walk into the perfect excuse to separate from Jonghyun, at least for a little while was halted when Jonghyun spoke again.  

“Are all the songs finalized? You haven’t really been telling me much, but I saw some of your outfit designs the other day – and, I had this idea for a song, I was thinking it’d match--” 

“That’s sweet hyung, really, but, you don’t--” 

“No! Really, I got so inspired when I saw your sketches, and the photos the designers had sent over, it really got me thinking about these lyrics I had sort of given up on--” Jonghyun cut off when Kibum stumbled forward as the door was pulled open form the inside. He almost fell into Minho’s chest, but caught himself on the door frame. 

“Oh, there you guys are. I snagged a room upstairs for you Kibum before Taemin had a chance to scope it out – don't worry you can thank me later,” Minho smiled brightly, but Kibum could see he had stepped in on purpose. Kibum offered a weak smile in return. 

“Gee, thanks Ming. How about I go take a look then?” he said, almost robotically, he turned to Jonghyun once more with the same weak smile, “I’ll see you in a bit hyung? To go exploring?” 

“Sure Kibum, just come find me when you’re ready,” Kibum didn’t spare a second glance back to really inspect Jonghyun’s expression, instead opting to drag Minho through the hall to the stairs so he could ‘show him where his room was’. 

“Oh my god Minho, I’m an idiot,” he started once they reached the landing at the top. 

“Yeah, I could’ve told you that,” Minho said, walking to the most-right door in the hallway and pushing it open, “This one Beom.” 

“Thanks -- yeah so, he asked me to film some clips with him and I said yes, but because of your stupid conversation from earlier I’m all gross and panicked around him,” Kibum complained as he walked past Minho into the room. He dropped his bags almost immediately upon entry, basically throwing himself onto the bed, “what do I do?” he whined into the sheets. 

“Starting to get sick of this Kibum, how about, instead of running away like you’ve done for the past decade, you ing talk to Jonghyun?” Minho said through clenched teeth, slamming the door before he said the man’s name aloud. 

“I do--” 

“You ing don’t do anything Kibum, don’t give me that half-assed loop hole bull,” Kibum raised his head from the sheets, straining to look at Minho clearly from over his shoulder. Minho was swearing, a lot, and that usually only happened when he was piss drunk, or pissed off. Based on his expression, Kibum knew he hadn’t missed him downing a mickey of vodka in the car, “Kibum, I’m serious. Please, for my sanity, either talk to him, or get over him. You need release, closure – something!” his voice was steadily rising in pitch the more upset he got. Kibum flinched. 

“I’m sorry Ming, I didn’t mean to bother you--” 

“That’s not the problem Kibum!” Minho yelled back, “I’m your best friend I’ll be here for you even if you continue to be a complete jackass about this – but the point is that I’m worried about you, I’m sad for you, I’m hurting for you, and honestly I’m damned pissed at you,” he had lowered his voice again the farther he made it into his confession before sighing, “I care about you, it hurts me to see you like this,” he finished, barely above a whisper now. Kibum jumped on the bed and nearly slammed Minho into the wall with the force of his embrace. 

“I’m sorry Ming, I’m trying,” he said, holding back tears, “Thank you,” he whispered into his neck, feeling Minho wrap his arms around him, holding him in place. Minho moved his hand along Kibum’s back gently – this wasn’t the first time they’d had this blow up, and Minho was sure it wouldn’t be the last either. He exhaled heavily, tucking his chin down to rest on Kibum’s shoulder, mumbling useless things in comfort as Kibum let out a few tears quietly. 

“Hey Kibum, I heard yelling are you guys--” Jonghyun began, opening the door, but stopping when he came face to face with the two younger men in an embrace, “...okay?” he finished weakly. Kibum looked up from Minho’s shoulder, eyes widening. 

“Oh!” He nearly jumped back, but stopped himself from being overly dramatic, making it more like an ill-timed jerk. Minho let him go easily, but kept a hand on his shoulder as her turned to face Jonghyun.  

“Sorry hyung, we had a small disagreement about something and I lost my temper,” Minho offered in explanation for the yelling. Jonghyun was still standing with one hand on the door knob, more or less shocked-stiff, staring at Kibum. He visibly snapped out of it at the sound of Minho’s voice. 

“Huh? Oh yeah, no problem, I was uh, just checking,” there was a somewhat awkward pause after he spoke; with Jonghyun still staring at Kibum Kibum looking between Jonghyun and Minho, and Minho watching the two of them in slight amusement. After a few more moments of painful silence, Kibum let out a strangled laugh. 

“Ha ha, come on hyung we’ve been around each other over twelve years – don't act like you’ve never seen us hug before,” Kibum said, taking a step forward to fist-bump Jonghyun in the shoulder, “are you ready to go explore now? Let me just grab my coat.” 

“Oh right, I need to grab the camera form my room though.” 

“Sure,” Kibum said as he snatched his coat off the bed where he had tossed it, “We’ll see you later Ming, tell the guys not to wait up for dinner,” he walked passed Minho with a brief pat on the shoulder, Minho only returning the action with a raised eyebrow. Kibum grimaced and gave an awkward wave in goodbye, walking out without waiting for Jonghyun. Jonghyun stood in the door a little longer, lagging behind to just... look at Minho. 

“See you later hyung,” Minho said with a bright smile, waving. Jonghyun nodded, waving in return. 

“Right, see you Ming,” he said vaguely, not turning until he had retreated outside of the door’s threshold. Once outside, he paused to look back over his shoulder once more, perhaps about to comment further, but ultimately deciding against it, instead closing his mouth again and deliberately making his way down the stairs. Minho waiting until he heard the footsteps fade before letting out a loud groan rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. He let out a rough shout, falling backwards on the bed, his arms shielding his eyes from the sun streaming through the windows. 

“I need a nap,” he mumbled to himself, before hearing Taemin call out for him from down stairs “or maybe a shot,” he got up reluctantly, “Coming!”