The first time he saw Taekwoon, Hakyeon was blinded by the lights. Everything was silver and bright, even the robes he wore and the strands of his hair.

 

Hakyeon barely knew anything about the beautiful man who just crashed into his life, but it didn’t take long to fall for Taekwoon. His smile just radiated with life, his touch warm and gentle, and his words sweet as Hakyeon’s favorite vanilla ice cream (often stolen by Taekwoon and Hakyeon just learned to always buy an extra ice cream for him). His miserable life had suddenly become so much happier – more than Hakyeon ever thought he deserved.

 

Taekwoon literally brought him to life, though he had no idea until he faced death himself.

 

“Taekwoon?” Hakyeon stood in the middle of the dark room. The only source of light was a small lamp on a table, where a man he presumed to be Taekwoon leaned against. He wasn’t really sure. The man looked exactly like Taekwoon, from his tall stature, the pretty hands, and long intertwined fingers where he rested his chin, down to the little mark under his left eye, but at the same time, he didn’t seem like Taekwoon. In place of the bright and silver were pitch black hair and robes, barely visible in the darkness of the room. His face, illuminated by the lamp, was just as dark and gloomy, despite the  smirk forming on his lips.

 

“I didn’t know dark hair and makeup suited you so well. You look hot,” Hakyeon teased, albeit a little nervously. He couldn’t shake off the uneasiness he felt at the strange situation. Last thing he remembered was riding a bus to work before he suddenly found himself in the dark room.

 

“I’m not Taekwoon,” the man said. “Taekwoon is life. I am death.”                         

 

Now hearing the man speak, he was fully convinced it was Taekwoon. Was it a dream? Did he doze off during the bus ride and was suddenly dreaming of a goth Taekwoon from his subconscious fantasies?

 

“Okay, Mr Death,” he chuckled. “What are we doing here? You’re not gonna bang me on the table, are you?”

 

The man raised a brow, his smirk spreading further across his face. “I wouldn’t mind if you want me to.” But then he walked towards Hakyeon, grabbing his arm and suddenly pulling him close. Cold fingers touched his chin and lifted his face, like he was being examined up close. “I’ve been waiting for you, you know?”

 

Now Hakyeon was getting more confused and maybe a tad bit scared. This man didn’t act like Taekwoon at all. Taekwoon was always gentle, no matter what they were doing. This man, although exuding some sort of elegance, seemed a little rough and imposing.

 

“Taekwoon…”

 

“That’s Leo for you,” The man said through gritted teeth. “Taekwoon is waiting for you on the other side of that door.” Only then did Hakyeon notice there was even a door behind them.

 

“But I’d like to invite you to keep me some company,” the man – Leo, pulled him closer, now speaking directly into his ear in a low seductive whisper. “Taekwoon keeps you all to himself whenever you reincarnate. Won’t you spend a little more time here with me?”

 

Hakyeon felt the cold fingers run up from his chin to his cheek, and though he found his knees slightly getting weaker, he took a step back and shook his head.

 

“You’re telling me I’m dead?”

 

“Every single time!” Leo rolled his eyes, looking slightly annoyed. He walked back towards the table and leaned on the edge, crossing his arms as he looked back at Hakyeon again. “You know it’s really frustrating that you don’t remember anything whenever you come back here.”

 

Hakyeon blinked a couple of times. If he had been there before, then that would explain the familiar feeling. He couldn’t remember this Leo guy and he was kind of lost at first, but now he felt like they might have actually met before. The initial intimidation he felt was slowly dissipating the more he looked at him, and it wasn’t just because he looked like Taekwoon.

 

Leo shrugged. “Well, I’ve explained things to you thrice already. I guess one more time wouldn’t hurt. Stop drinking the damn tea!”

 

It was really strange, how each time Leo talked about certain things, they just suddenly appeared in Hakyeon’s vision and he had to wonder if they had been there all along. He could now see see a pot and a tiny traditional tea cup on the table, right beside Leo.

 

“Would you like to sit or would you rather I just hold you in my arms while we talk?

 

And now there was a chair too.

 

Hakyeon walked towards it, but he didn’t sit. He just stared at Leo, not quite sure if he was more intrigued by what was happening or mesmerized by Leo’s exquisite appearance.

 

“My embrace then,” Leo smirked again. He took Hakyeon’s hand, pulling him, though this time a little gentler than he did before. Hakyeon was surprised, but he didn’t really feel like objecting when Leo slipped his arms around his waist, holding him loosely. They weren’t quite pressed together, but close enough to feel each other’s bre-

 

No. Wait.

 

They had no breath. Both of them.

 

“Am I really dead?” Hakyeon stared wide-eyed as he said the question out loud, not quite believing it just yet.

 

“Your bus collided with a truck,” Leo answered nonchalantly. “Luckily, Taekwoon didn’t get there in time to save you.”

 

“Luckily?” Hakyeon raised a brow.

 

“Well, if he did, he would have extended your life again and you wouldn’t be here in front of me.”

 

The coldness of his palms suddenly felt so solid against Hakyeon’s back and he almost shivered. Except, for all the chills Hakyeon got since coming into the dark room, Leo’s gaze made him feel warm inside.

 

“Taekwoon is life incarnate. He puts every being into existence, and if he wants to, he can prolong your life as much as he could, but that’s unethical. Every being has designated time on earth and his job is to just make sure everyone lives as they are supposed to.”

 

“That time I almost fell down from the fire exit, and when I was almost hit by a car, Taekwoon saved me…”

 

“Yes, that’s him prolonging your life. I should have been able to get my hands on you two months ago.”

 

“The car incident was about half a year ago,” Hakyeon mused.

 

“Well, I could also get unethical,” Leo winked, his sharply arched eyebrow quirking a little. “Sometimes, when I miss you too much, I can’t hold back from trying. I could take your life earlier or later, depending on the circumstances.”

 

It should have angered Hakyeon. He had always been an advocate of freedom and living one’s life independent of rules and fate. But somehow, the idea of Taekwoon and Leo constantly fighting over his life made him more curious rather than pissed.

 

“You missed me?”

 

“Yes,” Leo answered in an almost groan. He leaned forward and rested his head on his shoulder. “I missed you, so much.”

 

“Can’t you come and see me while I’m alive?”

 

“I can’t.” Now Leo was hugging him tightly, as if afraid that Hakyeon would be leaving soon. “I mean I can see you, watch everything you do if I wanted to. But I can’t actually be there. I’m confined to death. Taekwoon is confined to life. We can’t cross that door, so we can only be with you when you choose to live or stay dead.”

 

“I can stay dead?”

 

Leo pulled back and smiled, the menacing aura that Hakyeon felt earlier was completely gone. At this point, Hakyeon couldn’t help but think that Leo was exactly like Taekwoon - soft and warm - or that was at least how he made Hakyeon feel. Leo was physically cold, as if he was straight from the chiller or like he had eaten all those vanilla ice cream that Taekwoon had stolen. Now that he thought about it, Leo did smell like vanilla.

 

“Around this time, you would be asking about your ice cream,” Leo said.

 

“Do I do the same thing? Every time I die?”

 

“You love vanilla because of me, lavender because of Taekwoon,” Leo’s smile was half-gloating, proud that at least that part of him stuck with Hakyeon despite having gone over to Taekwoon for his reincarnation. “And yes, whenever Taekwoon stole your ice cream, he sent them over to me. Most of it, I mean. Sometimes, he’s a brat and eats it himself.”

 

Hakyeon chuckled at the thought. “Yeah, he’s a brat sometimes.”

 

“So would you like to stay?”

 

Hakyeon stared into the the deep, dark eyes. He still couldn’t remember ever meeting Leo before, but he knew in his heart that there was something pulling him towards Leo. He found it hard enough to look away from those somber gaze, and much more difficult to walk away from him.

 

“If I could, I don’t see why not. Wouldn’t you know my answer by now, if I’ve already been here thrice before?”

 

Leo shrugged. “I wouldn’t know if maybe your feelings for Taekwoon grew deeper and you’d rather be alive again than spend some time with me.”

 

His heart was no longer beating, and yet it felt like Leo’s words cut through it and broke it in half. There was longing and pain in those dark eyes. Hakyeon couldn’t help but reach for Leo’s pale face, cupping his cheek with one hand. The skin was just as cold under his palm, but Hakyeon didn’t mind. After just a mere second of silent hesitation, Hakyeon went for it and kissed him.

 

Leo smiled into the kiss as he pulled Hakyeon impossibly closer, deepening the kiss and running his icy fingers through Hakyeon’s hair.

 

“, I missed this,” Leo muttered through a quick pause before diving back onto Hakyeon’s mouth.

 

He seemed so much like Taekwoon, Hakyeon thought. And yet so different.

 

Hakyeon loved Taekwoon. Loved the way he touched him, embraced him in his long, slender arms, and the way he kissed Hakyeon softly every time. Leo, on the other hand, was just a tiny bit rough on the edge, eager and maybe a little hungry, given the long wait he had to endure. His grip on Hakyeon occasionally got too tight, his kisses coupled with a few bites. Yet he made Hakyeon feel the same way he felt with Taekwoon - as if he had been loving Leo for just as long as he had been alive.

 

“How long can I stay?”

 

“As much as you’d like,” Leo pressed his forehead against Hakyeon’s, eyes half lidded as he savored the remaining warmth from Hakyeon’s body. “Though do know that the longer you stay here, the longer you can’t see Taekwoon.”

 

He always had to make a choice. Live with Taekwoon or die with Leo. Hakyeon figured he had been going through this cycle and each time, he just fell in love with both of them. The contrast of beauty between life and death personified.

 

He pulled away, though not entirely letting go of Leo’s hand as he sat on the chair. He looked around. The room was still as dark as it was when he first arrived.

 

“I redecorate every time you die.”

 

Hakyeon wasn’t sure if Leo was reading his mind or just going through what probably was a repetitive conversation to him now.

 

“I put things as you want them. Bed for your comfort…”

 

Hakyeon turned his head to the right to see a bed, similar to the one he had in his apartment.

 

“Flowers to your liking.”

 

A bunch of lavender was suddenly on the table, arranged in a vase with a couple of other flowers.

 

“I usually depend it on how your last room on earth looked like, but I’m open to suggestions.”

 

Hakyeon smiled. “Well, I like my last apartment.” the room brightened up as soon as the words came out if his mouth. Suddenly, it seemed like he was back in his apartment, complete with all his furniture and even with the windows, though there was nothing but darkness outside. It was as if he never died - except it was Leo who was there with him, not Taekwoon.

 

“If you get bored, we can go out to the underworld, visit some grim reapers or deceased souls. Reapers often replicate places with strong rumination from the souls’ minds so that it would be less boring for the dead.”

 

“Wow,” Hakyeon would have gasped if there was air in the room. But there wasn’t. “I never thought hell would be this good.”

 

“This is just the after life, not heaven or hell. There is only life or death. Humans who commit grave sins either simply vanish off existence when they die or are sent to my friend Ravi for their punishment, depending on the gravity of their sins. Some souls choose to linger a little in the afterlife, but eventually, I send them back to Taekwoon for reincarnation. I just hold onto you longer than necessary because well,” Leo ran his fingers across Hakyeon’s lips, and then caressed his cheek as he continued staring at every bit of Hakyeon’s face. “I can’t just hand over such a beauty to Taekwoon.”

 

“Understandable,” Hakyeon chuckled. “To think that both life and death are head over heels for me, I am greatly flattered.” He started drawing circles on Leo’s hand with his thumb, but then he noticed there were no veins to trace.

 

“Hey,” he looked up to meet Leo’s gaze. “You have no veins and my heart isn’t beating which means I don’t have blood either, right?”

 

Judging from Leo’s giggles, Hakyeon could tell he already asked the same question before. He probably didn’t have to say it out loud anymore, but he still did, if only to emphasize his current existence in front of Leo.

 

“Would either of us be capable of getting an ? Or feeling any kind of pleasure?”

 

Leo leaned down for another kiss, which Hakyeon readily responded to. In a matter of seconds, the chair had been roughly pulled towards the table, Leo’s legs were on either side of Hakyeon’s, arms entrapping him between the backrest and Leo’s slender torso.

 

“We don’t need blood here,” he whispered in the same seductive voice he used earlier. “Our bodies work however I want them to,” he added, before sitting completely on Hakyeon’s lap. “If you feel pleasure from just kissing me, babe, you’re in for more pleasant surprises.”

 

“Hmmmmm,” Hakyeon moaned as Leo kissed him again.

 

Death wasn’t so bad after all.

 

-=o0o=-

 

“What’s the tea for?” Hakyeon asked, a few human days later. They were lying together on his bed while Leo was going through his list of deaths to send out to his reapers. Hakyeon just noticed the tea pot had been sitting on the table for a while.

 

“Memory wipe,” Leo answered. “So you’d forget your past life before your reincarnation.”

 

“Did I always drink it?”

 

“Yes. You almost didn’t one time, but it’s a rule for reincarnation. Everyone must drink the tea.”

 

“You told me to stop drinking it though.”

 

“I… just said that because I was frustrated,” he put down his list and slipped an arm around Hakyeon. “I hate that you keep forgetting about me.”

 

If Hakyeon would be honest, he’d say his heart and soul remembered Leo, that was why he chose to stay. But it wouldn’t erase the fact that he had no memories of them together and that Leo had to keep explaining things to him every time he died. He couldn’t help but feel a little sad, even as he intertwined their fingers together. “Would I remember you next time I die if I don’t drink it?”

 

“Yes,” Leo smiled. “That would make it easier for me, but more difficult for you. You would have a very confusing childhood. And you’ll probably spend a good fraction of your life waiting for Taekwoon.”

 

“Why do I need to wait? Can’t I find him? Or won’t he just come and find me sooner?”

 

“Oh, he does find you, almost as soon as you are born. He rarely leaves your side.” Leo squeezed Hakyeon’s hand a little, quite obviously jealous of the time Taekwoon got to spend with him. “You just can’t see him right away. I told you, the longer you stay here with me, the longer you can’t see him, literally. He could be in front of you, or sleeping on your bed and you wouldn’t see him.”

 

“Oh…” Hakyeon  was just getting more and more amused by everything he was learning.

 

“You guys are so creepy, watching my every move, huh?”

 

Leo shrugged. “We don’t always do that, but Taekwoon checks up on you a lot to protect you. And hey, you gave us permission after your first death.”

 

“I wish I could remember,” Hakyeon sulked. He wasn’t bothered that he couldn’t remember ever giving permission, but he wanted to remember each time he fell for Taekwoon and Leo. In his most recent life, he met Taekwoon when he was 18 years old.

 

“I stayed with you for 18 years last time?”

 

“Roughly, that’s the equivalent in human years, yeah.”

 

“And you get so jealous of Taekwoon? I only got to spend 10 years with him,” Hakyeon teased as he poked Leo’s side.

 

“Previously, you spent 8 years with me and 40 with him.” Leo looked at him pointedly. “Besides, you choose to live again to be with him. You never choose to die again to be with someone you don’t even remember.”

 

Hakyeon sat up, staring at the teapot on the table.

 

“Have we had this conversation before?”

 

“No, not really. This one’s a first.” He sat up as well and spooned Hakyeon in his arms. “Stay with me.”

 

It wasn't so much as an order as it was a request. Leo was shameless in his want for Hakyeon, but he respected Hakyeon’s choices. It wasn’t like a good person like Hakyeon should stay dead for too long.

 

-=o0o=-

 

Hakyeon woke up with a start. He was pretty sure he had a strange dream but he couldn’t remember what it was about. It was his 28th birthday but he hadn’t really been celebrating his birthdays. His life had not been the most exciting, and most birthdays just come and go with mere greetings from the few family members who remembered it.

 

Still, he perked up and put on his best smile as he prepared for another boring day.

 

As he stepped out of his apartment though, he noticed the open door of the unit right next to his. He approached cautiously, not wanting to seem a little too nosy for a neighbor. To his surprise, a beautiful man suddenly stepped out, clad in all white, silver hair falling gorgeously over his face.

 

A smile spread across Hakyeon’s face as he straightened up and fixed his fringe before greeting the man.

 

“Hello there,” he said.

 

“Oh, hi!” The man replied. He smiled radiantly back at Hakyeon.  “I’m your new neighbor. My name is Taekwoon.”

 

Taekwoon stretched out his arm for a handshake, which Hakyeon gladly accepted. Except that he had no time for the pleasant introductions. He pulled on Taekwoon’s hand and boldly grabbed the latter by the waist, tipping on his toes to reach for the soft plump lips.

 

“You…” Taekwoon gaped at him after the kiss.

 

Hakyeon just smiled, not hiding his delight at this sudden turn of events. “I missed you, Taekwoon-ah.”

 

“You remember me?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

The play of innocence wasn’t convincing in the least, but with Hakyeon’s pretty face, it was hard to do anything else but smile.

 

“That’s cheating,” Taekwoon chuckled. “You’re not supposed to reincarnate without drinking the tea. Leo’s supposed to make sure of that.”

 

“I pretended to drink it but I dumped it into the flower vase when he when he wasn’t looking.”

 

“He probably knew but didn’t say anything.” Taekwoon’s brows were slightly furrowed, his words sounding more like a whine rather than scolding. Still, his lips were curving a little upward and he slipped a hand around Hakyeon’s waist as well, rubbing the small of his back with a thumb. “He hates being forgotten.”

 

“Don’t you hate it too?” Hakyeon has now completely wrapped Taekwoon within his arms. He leaned forward and rested his head against Taekwoon’s much like how Leo did with him the first (or fourth) time they met.

 

“Of course, I do,” Taekwoon answered. “He thinks I have it easy when I had to introduce myself and work hard to make you fall for me every time. He just sits there waiting and you instantly fall in love with him over again as soon as you meet.”

 

“I don’t want to drink that tea anymore,” Hakyeon said as he pulled back. “I want to remember you. Both of you.”

 

“That’s not how it should work.”

 

“You’re life and death. Aren’t you the ones who make the rules?”

 

“We…” Taekwoon suddenly paused, as if thinking about the answer. “I don’t remember making rules, but now that you mentioned it, it’s not like anyone would police us if we break it.”

 

Soft giggles escaped Hakyeon’s lips, but it didn’t last long, because Taekwoon placed his other hand on the back of his neck and gently pulled him for another kiss.

 

“From now,” Hakyeon said later on as they sat cuddled together on Taekwoon’s new couch. “I decide when to live or die...

 

When to be with you or Leo.”