"So Seulgi, who are you going with to prom?" Jeongyeon asked.

 

"I don't know. Do all of us really need to have dates?" Seulgi said as she took a bite from her sandwich. It was lunch time, and all of her friends are excited for prom.

 

"Of course, that's like a requirement. Not really, but sort of." Jisoo answered.

 

"Don't worry, Seulgi. We'll find you a prom date." Seungwan said as she smiled at Seulgi, Seulgi smiled half-heartedly.

 

A prom date, I guess that does sound nice.

 

"Yah, Seulgi. How about that guy Yejoon? I heard that he still has no date. Aren't you guys seatmates at Physics class?" Jisoo pointed at Yejoon, but Seulgi immediately swatted Jisoo's hand.

 

"Stop it, he might think that I like him."

 

"There's nothing wrong with you liking him though." Jeongyeon said.

 

"Yeah, but the thing is, I don't."

 

"Hey, by the way, I said yes to Seojun." Seungwan butted in, sensing the tension with Seulgi.

 

As the girls talked, Seulgi continued on sipping her juice as she glanced sideways.

 

A date...

 

She had this odd feeling that someone was staring at her, she looked around and true enough, Joohyun on another table was looking at her.

 

But she wasn’t sure if she caught Joohyun looking at her or it was Joohyun who caught Seulgi, because Joohyun wasn’t looking at her anymore.

 

Seulgi wanted to give her a small smile, but she has a bitter thought on Joohyun. She sighed, and the day passed by.

 

---

 

After class, Seulgi walked together with Dongmin, one of her closest friends.

 

"Seulgi, anyone asked you for prom?" Dongmin asked.

 

"Not yet." Seulgi quietly asked, a bit afraid of what could possibly come.

 

"Well, are you eyeing anyone?"

 

"No. I don't know. I don't really understand why I have to get a date." Seulgi kicked a small pebble.

 

"I understand, I don't really want a date too. I thinks it's all for show."

 

"I feel the same. Not only are my friends bugging me about it, but also my parents."

 

"Pretty much the same for me. My friends are saying that I'm such a wuss for not trying to ask anyone out, but..."

 

"But what?"

 

"I just don't want the girls that they are pointing me to..." Dongmin sighed.

 

"I understand."

 

"That's why I wanted to ask you," Dongmin stopped and looked at Seulgi, "should we go out together there? Just to make our friends and parents shut up?"

 

"Umm, this isn't a confession or anything, right?" Seulgi gulped.

 

Dongmin chuckled, "No, you're not my type, plus, I'm dating someone. Let's go just as bestfriends, people do that."

 

"You're dating someone? Who is the unlucky person? And why not take that person as a date?" Seulgi innocently asked. Dongmin softly looked at Seulgi and gave her a small smile.

 

"Well, h...this person is from a different school. I'll let you two meet someday, Seulgi, I promise. A-and, thank you for your choice of words..." Dongmin said, "So, are we gonna go out together?"

 

"Okay then, I don't even want to think of holding hands with another boy so, yes." Seulgi smiled at Dongmin and they continued their way back to their respective homes, feeling comfortable that they both have something in common.

 

At night, after Seulgi finished her homework, she wanted to sleep but she couldn’t. She decided to take her phone and headphones outside. She sneaked out, not wanting to worry her parents, she walked towards their pick-up truck, and laid herself on the truck bed.

 

She would often go here when she had trouble sleeping or simply needed a good cry, she plays loud music in her headphones and would just stare at the stars as she tries to fall asleep.

 

For this moment, Seulgi feels like she owns the world. She can make her decisions without anyone judging and ordering her, because no one was there, but her.

 

She deeply breathed in.

 

As she breathed out, her tears poured out. It has been such a confusing week. She feels so left out with prom, her friends have dates while she is alone. She has a friendly date but it’s different.

 

A memory then pulled her in.

 

“Seulgi.” Joohyun placed her head on Seulgi’s shoulder as Seulgi was reading a book.

 

Seulgi hummed, trying to play it cool so that Joohyun doesn’t notice her cheeks becoming red.

 

“When we become seniors, there’s going to be a prom, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Who are you gonna go with?” Seulgi scoffed.

 

“I don’t know.I don’t think it really matters though.” Seulgi said.

 

“Well, I don’t care too. So let’s just go together then!” Seulgi chuckled.

 

“Of course, we’ll go together, I’m pretty sure we’ll sit in the same table together with our other friends.” Joohyun poked Seulgi’s waist.

 

“I guess…” Joohyun said, with Seulgi not noticing Joohyun's furrowed eyebrows because of her focus on the book.

 

Seulgi starts to regret everything she have possibly done to push Joohyun away from her, although she doesn’t understand why. She was still as confused as the day Joohyun didn’t sit with her on lunch.

 

And now, she’s alone in prom. With Joohyun having a date with a guy.

 

Even though it was way back then, she’s disappointed that they aren’t going to the prom together, and it makes it more worse that they aren’t even friends anymore.

 

They had good times together.

 

---

 

“Smile!”

 

Seulgi forced out a smile as she held on the arm of Dongmin.

 

“Mom, that’s enough pictures, it’s like the tenth picture, you’re kind of embarrassing me.” Seulgi whined. Seulgi’s mom placed her hand on her chest.

 

“Sorry, it’s just, you’re growing up now. I’m just happy for you.” Seulgi’s mom hugged her, and Seulgi thought, “I hope I become happy for myself too.”

 

Seulgi broke the hug and said, “Don’t worry, I’m still me, maybe just taller.” Seulgi chuckled.

 

“Believe what you want to believe. Anyway, you’ll be late, go now.”

 

“I promise to take care of her, ma’am. I’ll drive safely.” Dongmin said.

 

“I know you will, take care.” Seulgi's mom pulled her aside and whispered, "good choice. Very husband material as you kids would say." Seulgi half-heartedly smiled.

 

Seulgi and Dongmin walked outside.

 

“We could both be excellent actors and actresses, you know.” Dongmin whispered. Seulgi looked behind them and playfully punched his shoulder.

 

“Shush it, let’s just get this through, it already makes me feel guilty that they think we’re in a secret relationship or something."

 

"Well, you're the lucky one then." The two entered the car, Dongmin started driving.

 

"Hey, you said you were dating right? What's this person like?" Seulgi asked as she looked in front, not noticing the smile of Dongmin.

 

"Sublime."

 

"Whipped." Seulgi joked.

 

"We're still trying to work things out, testing waters and stuff. Enough about my love life, how's yours?"

 

"There's literally nothing to talk about it." 

 

"Good thing our other friend is more lucky, eh?"

 

"Who?" Seulgi asked.

 

"Joohyun."

 

"Oh...I think she's more of your friend now." Seulgi sadly said.

 

"Hey, as much as I am happy that I'm not third-wheeling you two anymore, I hope you two start talking again."

 

"I also want that, you know. But I don't even know what to say sorry for when she's the one who just...left me here, confused."

 

Dongmin sadly looked at his friend, he wants to help, but not with betraying the other.

 

"To be fair, you didn't try talking to her after she didn't sat with you on lunch. The two of you just needs to be pushed together, honestly. At this point, I'd even kick your asses together."

 

"Whatever, I should be mad. But, thank you, I know you're caught in between."

 

"No problem. I know I'm the best."

 

---

 

Seulgi sat on the table, everyone was dancing with their partners. She tried looking for Dongmin, but she couldn’t find him. And as she was scanning the hall, she saw Joohyun with Jiwon.

 

Something is cracking inside Seulgi. She sees Jiwon coming closer on Joohyun’s face, this is something Seulgi can’t bear to see.

 

Seulgi knows she has to get away, she stood up and walked to the bathroom, she went for the farthest stall and locked herself in.

 

She closed the toilet seat and sat on it, staring blankly at the cubicle door. She didn’t ran much, but here she was, trying to catch her breath as if she just ran a marathon.

 

Seulgi decided to stay here for the duration of the prom, yes, she’ll just tell her friends that she was busy socializing with other people and they just didn’t see each other.

 

She was starting to settle in, she can always pass time with her cellphone. But as she tried looking for her phone, of course, she left her purse on the table. Seulgi sighed. She was going to stand up when she heard the door hastily open.

 

And then locked.

 

Seulgi gulped. She looked beneath and saw a pair of heels walking, it checked every stall before her and it then occupied the stall next to Seulgi. Seulgi breathed a sigh of relief, tt least it wasn't two students trying to do something rated

 

But still, Seulgi didn’t know what to do. Maybe she could act normal and just get out, but it just feels awkward for her, knowing that this person locked the main door.

 

As Seulgi was thinking of ways to get out, she heard the girl next to her sniffling.

 

Seulgi is at a crossroad, she doesn’t know if she should help this girl, pretend she's not there, or just get out. But she was taught by her parents to always help.

 

Seulgi rolled some tissue papers in her hand and offered it to the girl in the next stall, with her hand underneath the stall between them.

 

“Umm, you may need this.” Seulgi awkwardly said. She heard the girl gasp.

 

“Thank you.” The girl took the tissues, “You do know that each stall have toilet papers, right?” Seulgi’s cheek reddened.

 

“Oh, uh, yeah. I just thought…I don’t know really. I panicked, I wanted to ask if you needed help and this is how I thought I should start, sorry.”

 

“It’s okay, I appreciate it.” The girl sniffled as she said.

 

“So umm, what’s wrong? You don’t have to share though, I know it feels weird to talk to someone like this, I can get out if you want.”

 

“It’s okay, I mean…you’re in here too, I’m assuming that it’s because of personal issues too?” Seulgi nodded to herself. “Unless you need to take a dump…I can get out.” The girl added.

 

“N-no!” Seulgi quickly said. They were both silent, until the other girl started giggling, and Seulgi followed along.

 

“I was just kidding!” The girl said.

 

“Please don’t joke like that again, I’m a really awkward person and I panic at everything.”

 

“It’s okay.” They both shushed down.

 

“How about you, why are you here?” The girl asked.

 

“I don’t really know…Maybe I’m just confused about everything. I needed to breath.”

 

“What are you confused about?”

 

“Me.” Seulgi said, she wants to be a bit private with this stranger, but it gives her this sense of privacy that they don’t know each other because of thin wall between them.

 

“I went here with a friend, and my parents think that we’re secretly dating, and it just makes me guilty, because they just started on pilling up more expectations on me. I don’t even like him…and I just don’t like…” Seulgi choked on the last word, she can’t say it yet. Seulgi breathed in and out, trying to calm herself.

 

"I...I kind of have the feeling of what you're trying to say. And, I may have also been in that position too. You're not ready with saying it yet, huh?"

 

Seulgi hummed.

 

"Knock on the wall twice if you're in the closet." Seulgi looked at the wall, confused but thankful at the same time for this understanding stranger. She knocked twice.

 

"Thank you, for trusting me."

 

"There's nothing to be thankful about." Seulgi dejectedly said.

 

"There is. I was in that position, but I told one friend. And it made me feel free...so damn free, even if it was just one friend. So there, please, tell someone. It can can really feel suffocating. Tell someone who you know will understand, baby steps are fine." Seulgi felt herself tear up.

 

"Thank you. Sometimes, I plan of just being with a guy and having kids, I thought, maybe I could keep up with that, but I can't see myself smiling to that thought. It's...It's really scary. My parents keep on telling me 'Don't do this, a guy wouldn't like that', but..." Seulgi breathed in. And as she breathed out, she said "I don't want a husband."

 

"I don't want a husband." Seulgi repeated as her tears poured out, "I just don't want that life."

 

"I'm proud of you. And don't even belittle this achivement. Even if I'm just a stranger, I could secretly take a picture of you and spread that information to the whole school. I'm proud of you, for being brave. You can come out to your other friends on your own terms, but right now, thank you for trusting a stranger like me."

 

"Thank you too."

 

"Maybe you needed this more than me." The girl gave back the tissues Seulgi first gave. Seulgi chuckled and said thanks.

 

"How about you?" Seulgi asked as she tried her best to silently blow her nose, "why are you here?"

 

"I've been a ty friend."

 

"You seem nice to me though."

 

"Well maybe I'm just trying to make up for what I did to my friend. I said I was in the same position as you, right? Well, I also ed up the relationship with my bestfriend. I was so determined to test things and understand myself, that I pushed her away... I dated a guy…just to be sure. I didn’t know if I should accept that I liked her, it wasn’t ‘normal’ as our country would put it. And yeah, now we don’t speak.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

 

“I-I don't deserve a sorry, she deserves it, I left her with no explanations. Maybe, I could have dated the guy while still being friends with her…but it’s too late now. She probably despises me.”

 

"In the future do you plan on talking to her again?"

 

"I want to...but maybe when I don't look at her the same way I look at her now. She's just so innocent, I tried to be bolder but I got nothing. So yeah, still need time."

 

Seulgi presented her hand underneath the stall.

 

“Here’s to finding our own selves.” Seulgi said, the girl placed her hand on Seulgi and said, “and to finding our own happiness.” They both shook their hands.

 

After the handshake, Seulgi was quiet.

 

“Umm, how do we end this conversation? Do you want me to get out of the restroom first?” Seulgi awkwardly asked.

 

“Do you want to end it like that?"

 

"Well, do you have any plans?" As the two thought of ways to end their cool encounter, slow music started to play outside, with the audio becoming a bit distorted in the restroom.

 

"Hey, want to dance?" The girl suddenly asked.

 

"Uhh, why?"

 

"It seems nice, seeing that we both need some comforting."

 

“Umm, okay. But we’ll keep each other's secret, right?” Seulgi asked.

 

“Of course, and I think it’s better to end it this way. It’ll kill me every night wondering who I was talking to.” They both chuckled.

 

“I’ll go out now.” The girl said. After a couple of seconds, the girl did come out and stood near the sink.

 

Seulgi was deciding if this was right, but she agrees to the girl that she’ll be super curious too, with that, she stood up and opened her door.

 

But the moment Seulgi looked at the mirror, she froze.

 

The girl who she was talking to was Joohyun.

 

Seulgi doesn’t know what to do, she wants to run away, but she can’t because she can see in Joohyun's eyes that she's panicking as well.

 

Joohyun looked right at Seulgi and walked toward her. Seulgi gulped. Joohyun then placed her hands on Seulgi’s neck and started to sway. Seulgi slowly placed her hands on Joohyun’s waist.

 

Both of them swayed to the music outside.

 

Seulgi can’t help but feel awkward, she shared her story to the wrong person. Joohyun’s not a bad person, but what Seulgi shared is about Joohyun. And Seulgi is pretty sure that Joohyun was talking about her.

 

“Seulgi.” Joohyun said, Seulgi looked up at her.

 

“This doesn’t have to mean anything right now…Let's just enjoy this for now, supposedly as two strangers. If you still want to...”

 

Seulgi nodded, and she shyly pulled Joohyun near her as they continued swaying to the music. Seulgi smiled at Joohyun and Joohyun smiled back.

 

Seulgi owns the world in this bathroom with Joohyun. She can make her decisions without anyone judging and ordering her.

 

End-