When she was a kid, Jeongyeon felt disappointed that she didn’t have words on her wrist, all the other kids did then why didn’t she? Her parents would always look sad when she asked them about it, they tried their best to pretend to be unfazed but Jeongyeon knew better; she stopped asking after some time. But her curiosity remained. 

Ten year old Jeongyeon used to go to internet cafe’s and look up all about soul marks and well, a lack of soul marks. She came across many theories and “research” on several topics related to the soul marks. For example, if your soulmate is in a dire situation then your soulmark fades as a sign- a caution sign to either save them or to prepare yourself for the inevitable. She doesn’t know where the soul marks come from, she thinks no one else knows either. Some people are born with soul marks and some get their soul marks before the age of two. There are cases of late bloomers but it’s very rare. As for knowing who your soulmate is? Jeongyeon never found a definitive answer for that, every web search she’s come across, every person she’s asked, all had the same answer for her. You know it, deep within your heart you know the person you are meant to be with when you first see them, hear them, touch them, your heartbeats sync together in perfect rhythm. Her father went as far as saying he could see his future when he first saw her mother. Jeongyeon thought it was ridiculous, ridiculously amazing that one person could mean this much.

But she had to have her question answered, why does she not have a soul mark? She remembers the day very clearly, she was thirteen, at the internet cafe she pulls up a webpage she had bookmarked, some dingy site in which people posted all about the soulmate experience. Someone posted something about their friend not having a soul mark. She learned that some people may die before they ever get to properly meet their soulmate- these people don’t have words on their wrists; they don’t have a soul mark. Her heart dropped at that. She didn’t know how to feel. She walks back home that day feeling numb in her heart and her mind. That night she finally understood why her parents always looked sad when she asked them about the absence of her soul mark. It was because she would never know, she’d never have a soulmate. 

Jeongyeon didn’t know how to feel about this, should she be sad that she won’t get to meet the person destined for her or happy that she and her soulmate wouldn‘t have to go through pain when she dies? She chose to be happy. Not having a soulmate only meant she could fall in love with more people because people did date even if they knew the person they were dating wasn’t their soulmate, some even claimed they didn’t want to be with their soulmate, something about not letting a predestined factor control their lives (Jeongyeon didn’t understand this logic but she was cool with it).

The first girl she dated was a friend in high school, they were in their junior year when Jeongyeon got asked out on a date by Park Jihyo. Jihyo was sweet and caring, perhaps she was Jeongyeon’s first love. Jihyo had the biggest crush on Jeongyeon, she liked her to the point where she thought Jeongyeon was her soulmate. But of course, they both knew she wasn’t. There would be times when Jeongyeon wished she was Jihyo’s soulmate. When they lay on Jeongyeon’s bed, under the glowy neon stars on the ceiling of her room, with Jihyo talking about everything and nothing at all, snuggled close to Jeongyeon; for a moment they go silent- Jeongyeon stares into Jihyo’s beautiful eyes. Those are the times when she wishes Jihyo was her soulmate. But she leans forward and kisses Jihyo instead, she holds her hand and gently caresses Jihyo’s wrist- reminding herself that there is someone in this world who would love Jihyo a hundred times more than she ever could and Jihyo would love her soulmate back just the same. Eight months into their relationship, a new girl transfers to their school, Jeongyeon sees Jihyo’s soul mark glow as Jihyo seems to get lost in the new girl's eyes. She sees the same look in new girls' eyes as she walks towards Jihyo. Jeongyeon broke up with Jihyo that day, because though Jihyo may not see it right now as she cries for Jeongyeon to not leave her, Jeongyeon sees clearly. Park Jihyo was Im Nayeon’s soulmate. Not hers. 

Jeongyeon doesn’t let the heartbreak get to her, at least that’s what she keeps telling herself. She resorts to having one-night stands instead, because relationships are bull anyway. She’d settle for being someone’s soulmate just for a night. And damn were there a lot of good nights in her life. She saw a variety soul marks too, ranging from ‘We’ll find each other again and this time no one can separate us’ to ‘Goodbye piggy’. It was fun to see the different soul marks, the last words that people heard from their soulmate. One time she came across a girl with her soul mark struck out.

It was a college party that one of her older friends had invited her to and being there shouldn’t matter much anyway because in a few months Jeongyeon herself would be in college. Honestly, Jeongyeon didn’t want to go to the party, but she went to kill time. Usually she’d be dancing or playing one of the drinking games but tonight she chose to just sit in a corner with a drink in hand. Across her sat a very beautiful girl, she had a book in hand, when she tucked her hair behind her ear Jeongyeon nearly fainted. Okay maybe that’s an exaggeration but the girl really was exquisite. So, Jeongyeon approached her 

“Hey, you know a party isn’t the best place to study right?” Jeongyeon tries, the girl glares at her and she must admit, the glare is very scary but Jeongyeon won’t back down that easy “Can I sit here?” Jeongyeon asks but sits beside the girl before she can even respond “I’m Jeongyeon” Jeongyeon puts her hand forward, blocking the girl's view of her book

“Not interested” The girl says as she pushes away Jeongyeon’s hand. Jeongyeon pouts a little and cranes her neck to take a look at what the girl was reading, it was an advanced psychology textbook 

“Ah, the name Pavlov sure rings a bell” Jeongyeon jokes and the girl looks at Jeongyeon with a ‘are you kidding me’ look but after a second the girl ends up smiling. And Jeongyeon swears to god, it was the most beautiful smile she had ever seen

Jeongyeon doesn’t know who initiated the kiss or how the two even made it to an empty room while making out. But here they lay in their post bliss, Jeongyeon held the girl close, running her fingers down her back making the smaller girl giggle now and then. When Jeongyeon’s hand makes its way to the girl's wrist, the girl is quick to pull back. It surprises Jeongyeon when the girl gets up abruptly. The girl clears and speaks 

“It was nice meeting you Jeongyeon, I’m gonna leave now” 

“Joohyun” Jeongyeon says gently, and Joohyun waits for Jeongyeon. For the first time in a long time, Jeongyeon feels something again, she doesn’t want to let her go so fast “Let me drop you to your dorm. Please” Jeongyeon asks cutely, Joohyun doesn’t have it in her to deny the girl. The two have a fun conversation on their way to Joohyun’s room, they smile, they laugh and they absolutely enjoy each other's company. When they reach Joohyun room, they stand still outside the door, with Joohyun looking up at Jeongyeon not knowing what to do- should she push her away or hold her close? Jeongyeon ends up not going home that night.

Jeongyeon joins the same university as Joohyun and the two end up spending a lot of time together. Though Jeongyeon had friends of her own, she preferred to spend most of her time with the senior.  They grew closer with time, Joohyun never cared about Jeongyeon empty wrist and Jeongyeon didn’t bother Joohyun about the words struck out on hers. They’d go to the movies, to parties, to the library. The library was Jeongyeon’s second favorite place to spend time with Joohyun, they’d help each other with homework, stick close together and maybe even make out near the corner shelves where no one could see them.

Jeongyeon’s favorite place to spend time with Joohyun though was Joohyun’s bed, not only when they have but in general too. There was something very comforting about the older girls room and to just lay beside her in that quiet space. Jeongyeon loves talking to her, and she supposes Joohyun must enjoy talking to her too. Jeongyeon looks around the older girls room, it’s neat, organized and cute. There’s a couple of pictures on her side table. A group picture with Irene, Seulgi (another wonderful senior Jeongyeon knows), Joy (her classmate) and a small cute girl (Yeri, Joohyun tells her they were all friends since childhood) There’s another picture, it’s of a girl with cute bangs and a cuter smile, Joohyun isn’t in this picture though. She asks her about the girl and Joohyun sighs, her eyes turn sad as she caresses Jeongyeon’s wrist and holds her close.

The girl was Seungwan, her soulmate. Jeongyeon holds Joohyun’s hand as she tells her all about her soulmate, one she never got to meet. Jeongyeon runs a finger over the words struck out on Joohyun’s wrist ‘I really like you Joohyun’ those were the words she last heard from Seungwan. Joohyun and Seungwan used to write to each other, a high school pen pal assignment where they write to a student across the globe. Joohyun tells her how the two continued to write to each other even after the assignment was done. Like Jeongyeon, Seungwan didn’t have any words on her wrist but Joohyun did have words on her wrist, she thought it was odd that Seungwan didn’t because she felt it in her heart that they were soulmates. The day words finally formed on Seungwan’s wrist, the words on Joohyun’s wrist began to fade and then were ultimately struck out. (“‘I really like you too Seungwan’ were the words on her wrist” Joohyun says as she cries in Jeongyeon’s arms) Being with Jeongyeon helped Joohyun move on. After that day Joohyun felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders, she felt free and better when she spent time with Jeongyeon, they still did like each other a lot, they spent time together and they were close until Joohyun’s graduation. Their relationship was bittersweet, though Jeongyeon loved her she wouldn’t ask Joohyun to be in a relationship with her because they both know how it would end. Jeongyeon goes back to the way she was before she met Joohyun

She was fine with the way she was, truly; she went out on dates and enjoyed her life to the fullest. She never felt the so-called void of not having her soulmate. Until. Until that one time she started a fight with someone in a gaming chat.

Playing Fortnite with Chaeyoung and her friends had become part of Jeongyeon’s daily routine. This time a new girl joined them, player ‘PengMinari97’ and damn was she good at playing the game. She killed Jeongyeon three times before Jeongyeon could even blink. The one time Jeongyeon managed to take out the girl, well, let’s just say it wasn’t a wise move because the girl literally went after her 

“Ah please let me at least stay alive for one game” Jeongyeon yells in the voice chat 

“Say you’re sorry” The girl demands as her character points a gun at Jeongyeon’s character 

“Ah come-“ The girl shoots her characters foot “Okay okay I’m sorry” Jeongyeon yells in the voice chat and hears the Chaeyoung and the other girl laugh. Jeongyeon rolls her eyes. Her laugh sounds cute

When Chaeyoung couldn’t join Jeongyeon, she’d play with the other girl. Mina. She liked playing with her. Talking to her. Mina lived in a different city, she goes to a different uni. She’s miles away but when Jeongyeon talks to her, she feels like she’s sitting right next to her. Texting the girl had become a part of Jeongyeon’s routine, not a day went by without talking to Mina. They would talk about the most random , one time they spent over two hours talking about ketchup. But Jeongyeon loved every single second, she would listen to Mina complain about the texture and taste of different brands of ketchup for endless hours if you asked her to

“What about love?” Mina asks over the phone one night. It was around 1 am, Jeongyeon was sitting in her balcony looking up at the sky while Mina did the same from her place 

“What about it?” Jeongyeon teases 

“Have you ever been in love Jeongyeon?” Mina asks, her tone more serious this time 

Jeongyeon tells Mina about Jihyo and about Joohyun. About how she left one girl because she had a soul mark and how she left the other girl because her soul mark was struck out. She tells Mina about her unmarked wrist, though she has talked about it before with several people, Jeongyeon really wishes she had a soul mark as she spoke to Mina. Because if she did, there was a chance Mina was her soulmate. Just maybe

“Well, I think the whole soul mark deal is stupid anyway. I mean, it doesn’t make sense. Why should it predestined? I don’t believe it. And just because you heard of one person dying beforebthey met their soulmate doesn’t mean you will too” Mina rants, as if she were scolding the universe “You’re special Yoo Jeongyeon, and if you want to find your soulmate you will. And you will live a happy life with them” Jeongyeon smiles at Mina’s adamant words

“How can you be so sure?” 

“Because I- I just am” Mina says

“Mina” Jeongyeon sighs ‘I wish you were my soulmate’ she doesn’t say it though. She wouldn’t want Mina to go through that pain 

“You have a thing for girls whose names start with J” Mina diverts the topic 

“Hmm maybe I do” Jeongyeon says “Hey, Chaeng once told me your friends sometimes call you Jeongnam” Jeongyeon jokes 

“Okay stop, I can feel you sleazily wiggling your eyebrows over the phone, ew stop it this instant” Mina tries to sound disgusted but in reality she’s flustered by what Jeongyeon said “And I would never date a bad gamer like you”

“Hey! I’m not that bad!”

Jeongyeon has never felt this way, she thought she knew what love felt like but the way she feels when she’s talking to Mina or even thinking about her... it’s different. They send each other selfies to keep each other updated and Jeongyeon finds herself staring too long at Mina’s face, her heart beats faster and that doesn’t help either. Thank god for Facetime because Jeongyeon couldn’t not talk to Mina whenever they were free. Jeongyeon knows she’s getting too attached to Mina and that any relationship she pursues will only end up in heartbreak or disappointment but that doesn’t stop Jeongyeon for a single second. It feels right

Several months of talking (or flirting to be precise) later, Mina tells her she’s close to where Jeongyeon lives, they plan to meet. Jeongyeon calls her and gives Mina the directions

“Can’t wait to tease you about your height for real this time. I mean, will I even be able to find you?” 

“Yoo Jeongyeon you better hope you don’t find me because you’re gonna get your kicked”

“Mina, this isn’t fortnite” Jeongyeon laughs 

“I wi-“

“Hey Mina” Jeongyeon interrupts her with a soft voice “I can’t wait to see you”

Mina replies with the same tenderness. 

Jeongyeon ends the call with a smile, she heads out the door- not noticing the words that had appeared on her wrist 

‘See you soon Jeongyeon’  Mina's sweet voice echoed in her mind as she read the words

For the first time in her life Jeongyeon gets that feeling. The one she had heard of in her childhood. Her heartbeat doesn’t feel like her own anymore, it isn’t beating alone anymore; she feels it beat in harmony with another. Across the street she sees Mina and Mina sees her. Mina sees her and she smiles. If this is the last thing Jeongyeon was destined to see, maybe she’s okay with it