Seungri doesn't know what noise wakes him but he's not happy. Half asleep, he moans, a whiny sound demanding silence, but the noise keeps going, even increasing in pace. Annoyed, he opens his eyes and the light blinds him for a second. He scrunches up his face and closes back his eyes, and as his world is reduced to bright white and redish lights behind his eyelids, he tries to pinpoint the source of the sound.  

Someone is writing, he thinks, and it's the scratching of pen across paper that woke him up. Its melodic rhythm tells him all he needs to know.

Jiyong .

He is in Jiyong's room. His bed had felt lonely and cold, but Jiyong's bed was always warm and inviting. He'd been careful not to wake the older boy, fitting himself in the space between Jiyong's body and the wall. He loves that space, it is where he has the best dreams and where “right” and “wrong” are inconsequential things.

His annoyance fades and he smiles because he is in Jiyong's bed and Jiyong is writing a song. He wants to open his eyes and look at Jiyong, watch him hold the pen in that quirky way of his as he chews his lips and scrunches up his nose as he writes. But the sound of Jiyong's pen and the occasional sound of his hands as he caresses the paper are lulling Seungri back to sleep, just when not even a minute ago they had woken him up.

Jiyong, always being the illness and the remedy.

The scratching noise stops. Seungri opens his eyes and he's only half surprised to see Jiyong now facing him, with a small smile on his face. It's the look he always gets when he's written a great song, but this time it's mixed with tenderness and Seungri wants to tell him to come back to bed and have him whisper the lyrics in his ear.

“You wrote a song” Seungri murmurs and his voice is hoarse from sleep.

Jiyong closes his eyes for a second, as if savoring the moment.

“I wrote the best song I've ever written”

And that statement says so much, and Seungri wants to ask a million questions but the night is quiet, calm and dreamlike in its essence, so he doesn't dare disturb the silence anymore.

Instead, he simply stares at Jiyong, taking in as much as he can. Jiyong's eyes are almost shining, his cheeks are a little flushed and his hair is disheveled from his hands. He's beautiful.

This is Jiyong , Seungri thinks. If anyone ever asked Seungri to describe Jiyong, this is what he'd show them, because Jiyong is never more himself than when he gets lost in music.

“I woke up and you were in my bed” Jiyong says and his voice somehow blends with the silence of the night, not disturbing it, but making it more pleasurable. It's not a question or a reprimand, so Seungri says nothing.

“I woke up, saw you in my bed and suddenly I had all these lyrics in my head”

There's awe in his voice and Seungri feels a warm pleasurable feeling expand throughout his body. His heart beats deeply and he knows these are words he won't forget.

“I had to write them down. This, this feeling right now Seungri. This is… life ”

He gets a faraway look in his eyes and Seungri knows he's still high on the feeling, basking in the afterglow of what he just lived.

Sometimes Seungri thinks Jiyong should be used to it by now, because all his life he's been writing great music, pouring his feelings out in the most captivating way. But maybe that's what makes the difference between an artist and someone who's merely good with words, that neverending reverent admiration towards music. Jiyong never takes music for granted, he's always worshipping it.

And Seungri is curious, because he has felt consumed by music before, he's felt that need to let his emotions out, but he's certain that whatever he's felt, Jiyong has felt deeper.

“Music can be dangerous” Jiyong had told him once as Seungri had ventured further from the wall seeking Jiyong's warmth and smell. After all, it wasn't really the space next to the wall he loved, but the spot next to Jiyong's body. He had wanted to know what Jiyong had meant but then Jiyong's face had been too close and Seungri had had to focus on anything other than Jiyong's eyes.

It was ironic, in a way, how Jiyong was the one person who made him feel the most like himself, but the one who at times made him fight the hardest against his own wants.

Music wasn't dangerous to Seungri, not the way Jiyongwas. Music was enjoyable to him, something that completed him. But maybe music was like love to Jiyong. Love was dangerous, Seungri knew that much.

“I just- I don't think it could get better than music. It can't get better than this feeling” Jiyong says but as soon as the words leave his lips it's as if he's reminded of something and his unfocused eyes focus on Seungri's. His expression changes and a strong emotion flashes in his eyes.

Seungri can't decipher that look but something inside him reacts and it's as if he just dropped from 10 meters high but instead of crashing to the ground he grew wings and learned how to fly. 

Jiyong gets up from the chair slowly and he looks at Seungri with so much longing, that Seungri feels vulnerable in the best possible way.

But then almost as if that look never happened, Jiyong smiles, amused.

“What?” Seungri asks but Jiyong turns around, in the direction of the door. He reaches the light switch and turns off the light, and the darkness is kind of sudden, but Seungri likes it.

“Ah” Jiyong grunts and Seungri chuckles because there was nothing on the path from the door to the bed but somehow Jiyong managed to find a way to hurt himself.

He gets in bed and Seungri moves a bit closer, but not close enough it seems.

“Come closer” Jiyong says

So he does.

“How do you always smell so good?” Jiyong asks and Seungri shrugs.

“Some of us are just born good looking and smelling like peaches hyung”

“And some of you are not born modest, huh maknae” Seungri chuckles but his laugh dies down as somehow even in the dark Jiyong manages to find Seungri's earlobe to play with.

He rubs it in a soothing way and Seungri closes his eyes, feeling but suppressing the need to purr like a cat.

“We should all have dinner together for your birthday, Seungri”

Seungri makes an acquiescent sound. But then he remembers.

“But I'm having a party hyung, I told you about it, you guys should come”

Jiyong stops rubbing his ear and sighs. Seungri brings his hand to the ear Jiyong didn't play with, and he rubs it absentmindedly. Jiyong always only rubs one ear so the other one always feels lonely. So it's up to Seungri to rub it but when he does it the tingling isn't there.

“Do you really want us there?” the leader asks and Seungri thinks that maybe Jiyong isn't that smart after all.

“Of course I do hyung, I always want you with me”

And there's silence and then a sigh.

“Okay then, we'll be there and I'll tell embarrassing stories in front of all your friends”

Seungri rolls his eyes, because he knows that's one thing that will never change.

“Speaking of which, you forgot to delete your browser history”

“Shut up” Seungri murmurs and Jiyong chuckles, his leg finding Seungri's in the dark and Seungri trapping it between his.

And Seungri realizes he knows each of Jiyong's laughs and what they mean and even in the dark he can perfectly see Jiyong's eyes shining with amusement.

“I'm sorry I woke you”

“You should be, I'm going to have dark circles in the morning because of you”

Jiyong scoffs and his hand finds Seungri's face, the feathery touch making Seungri sleepy in seconds.

“I can even feel your dark circles, they're so deep.”

Seungri ignores him. He finds Jiyong's arm in the dark and he starts tracing patterns, he starts writing the beginning of words but he doesn't dare finish them.

The night is quiet again and the dark makes him feel safe. He almost feels the need to start sharing his secrets with the night, but Jiyong already knows everything so there is nothing to tell, except that one secret that is not really a secret that they never talk about. But here, in the spot next to Jiyong's body, none of that matters, because here he gets to feel Jiyong's warmth and kiss Jiyong's shoulder, which he does right now. He gets to put his hand under Jiyong's shirt and feel the soft and warmth skin, making Jiyong sigh contently.

“Seungri” Jiyong says, his voice soft and b with something that Seungri could swear is happiness

“Yes hyung?”

But Jiyong doesn't say anything, and yet the night says it for him.

Seungri smiles, and he knows Jiyong can't see him, but he still mouths the words Jiyong wanted to say.  

“Good night maknae” Jiyong places a kiss on Seungri's head

“Good night hyung”

“Is it a sad song hyung?” Seungri asks right before he falls asleep, because it's suddenly important that he knows the answer

Jiyong doesn't say anything and Seungri realizes he won't. Seungri hates himself for asking.

“No, it's not” finally comes Jiyong's answer and he can't hide the surprise in his voice “it's not a sad song at all ” and he lets out a breathy laugh and this why Seungri loves Jiyong's bed, because it's warm and his heart feels like it might explode with joy.

Hope, that's what Seungri feels as he finds Jiyong's hand in the dark and they fall asleep together.