Then it’s over, because everything eventually comes to an end.

 

Dahyun can’t sleep no matter how hard she tries. Instead, she stares at the ceiling of Sana’s apartment and tells herself again and again that this won’t happen again—can’t happen again. They need to stop, need to before everything breaks. And it will break, she’s starting to become sure of it. It always does, and it probably always will.

 

Even if Sana wears her heart on her sleeve. Even if Sana could have been the exception, in different circumstances, in another universe. Just not this one.

 

So Dahyun plans to follow all the rules she’s previously broken, mentally counting all of them and making sure she has them memorized. She’ll leave in the morning before Sana gets up. She’ll make sure that she doesn’t text Sana back. She’ll make sure that she can push all these feelings away and stop them before they get out of hand.

 

And it should be easy. It should be easy, but Dahyun knows she’s never let herself feel this strongly before for someone, never broken this many rules for someone. Before she would just ignore it, but it’s just too hard to ignore Sana’s affection.

 

Sure, Sana would probably be pissed at being ignored and maybe just a little heartbroken but this way they’ll both be fine, no feelings involved, no real pain between the two of them, nothing breaking and nothing changing. Dahyun tells herself that she shouldn’t worry, that it’ll be fine. Everything will be fine, so long as she makes sure to leave.

 

Sana moves just a bit under the sheets, hugging Dahyun closer to her. Dahyun could leave right now if she wanted to, knows she should, knows she can. Sana’s grip is weak with sleep. She wouldn’t notice if or when Dahyun left.

 

It’s not a big deal, Dahyun tries to tell herself.

 

Dahyun pushes a few strands of hair behind Sana’s ear, leans down to kiss her cheek. Sana seems so peaceful when she sleeps. Dahyun wishes moments like these could last a little longer.

 

She really should just leave while she still can.

 

(But she can’t help it.)

 

“Sana?” Dahyun whispers, a small smile at her lips.

 

“Hnn?” Sana answers in her sleep, brows crinkling in the middle. Her pretty face twists in tired confusion as she slowly opens her eyes.

 

“This was fun, but I need to leave,” Dahyun mumbles out. She sits up but she’s immediately pulled back down by the younger girl.

 

“Oh no you don’t,” Sana grumbles while tucking Dahyun closer to her. “It’s Saturday, Dubu. And our schedule is free!”

 

“Yeah, but—”

 

“Dubuu…” Sana groans out, pouting in annoyance and trying to nuzzle closer to Dahyun again. She seems almost disappointed as she says: “Are you really gonna leave me?”

 

“I- I can explain later, if you want, but I really need to leave—”

 

“Really, Dahyun?” Sana mutters under her breath, more annoyed and confused than angry, but her grip weakens and she lets go.

 

And now Dahyun really can’t help but regret trying to leave because Sana is laying back down and turning her back towards her. “It’s not anything,” Dahyun mumbles, but her heart is weak so she’s laying down next to Sana again, nothing ever changing. “You know that, right?”

 

“Still,” Sana mumbles out, and this time she sounds almost sad. “I don’t like it when you leave.”

 

Dahyun hums, and she can’t help but agree. Trust me, Dahyun thinks but knows better than to say it out loud, I don’t like it when I leave you either.

 

And that’s exactly the reason why she knows she should go before these feelings get too serious, but she doesn't.

 

~

 

It’s easy to fall in love with Sana. She can enchant just about anyone she wants to, knows how to charm people into liking her. It’s a good thing for this type of industry, but it starts to become just another bad habit. It’s easy to lie, to pretend, to deceive. And it works. It always does.

 

Always, except when she’s done it too many times with the same target—the same victim—and it starts to be less about playing a game and more about caring. It starts to be a little too much fun to play pretend, to flirt around. It starts to hurt.

 

“What’s your worst habit?” Dahyun asks later in the morning, if 11am still counts as morning.

 

Sana chuckles. “Why are you asking? Trying to expose me?”

 

“I would be,” Dahyun lifts her head up to look directly at Sana, “But it’s not like it’s hard to expose you.”

 

Sana gasps dramatically fake. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

 

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Dahyun says with an airy giggle and goes back to trying to find her missing clothes, even lifting up the corner of the bed in her search.

 

Sana ponders, tilting her head a bit. “You. You’re my worst habit.”

 

Dahyun’s quiet for a moment, but then she laughs. “How romantic of you,” she quips, playfully slapping Sana’s arm.

 

“I’m just saying the truth!”

 

“See, that’s why you’re easy to expose.”

 

Sana pouts.

 

“You bond easily with people you’re into, even if it might hurt.”

 

“So do you,” Sana grumbles, “It’s not like we’re any different from each other.”

 

~

 

Love becomes a little harder when it’s not perfect. All those fairy tale stories and all those perfect happy endings make real life seem so unpleasant.

 

Dahyun craved that romantic happily ever after in her childhood. Then she grew up, and love wasn’t perfect.

 

Or maybe it’s just the situation that isn’t.

 

~

 

The only reason this is happening is because it’s raining and there’s nothing else to do. At least that’s what Dahyun tells herself.

 

The weather’s been a bit out of it lately, with sudden rains soaking them through their clothes in mere seconds. Because of that, the two of them decide to go to Sana’s private apartment instead of their group’s dorm, especially considering that the apartment was closer.

 

“You should stay over,” Sana suggests.

 

Dahyun nods, not really paying attention. She's looking at all the pictures and paintings on Sana’s walls. “I don’t think I’ve ever been here except at night.”

 

“Well, that’s your fault, you ert.” Sana sticks her tongue out, being purposefully ironic. “I swear, we’re barely friends,” Sana continues teasing.

 

“We’re friends?” Dahyun asks earnestly, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Of course we are?” Sana tilts her head to the side like a puppy, confused as to why Dahyun’s so unsure. “Why do you look so surprised?”

 

“It’s nothing, it’s just…”

 

“Something bothering you?” Sana asks helpfully, walking a little closer. “C’mon, you can tell me.”

 

Dahyun bites her bottom lip; “I’m not usually friends with the people I sleep with.”

 

“Not when you say it like that!” Sana blushes before swatting at Dahyun’s arm, Dahyun just laughing at her reaction though a bit shy. “Fine, we don’t have to be friends! I’ll just ignore you forever!”

 

“I didn’t mean it that way!” Dahyun says quickly, pursing her lips, trying to stop laughing but a chuckle coming out of anyway.

 

Sana pouts before suddenly jumping at the sound of lightning, the lights on the apartment flickering off and on for a moment. When she calms down, she notices that she just jumped into Dahyun’s arms.

 

Sana smirks. “Interesting.”

 

Dahyun just huffs, still holding Sana up. “What?”

 

“You didn’t let me fall,” Sana says with a soft smile. And then, the smile is replaced by an evil giggle. “I have an idea of what we should do to pass the time…”

 

Dahyun drops her. “So that’s why you wanted us to go to your apartment,” she says while walking away to continue looking around the apartment.

 

“Come back, I love you!” Sana playfully shouts at Dahyun’s retreating figure.

 

~

 

“So, what is love?” Sana jokes when their cuddling in the bed again, her smile soft yet lovely.

 

“It’s too late for this,” Dahyun complains, her eyes mostly closed as she looks at the time on her phone.

 

“Oh, baby don’t hurt me…”

 

“Shush.” Dahyun sits up against Sana’s complaints, a smile forming despite herself.

 

“Have you ever been in love, Dubu?” Sana asks, a little too honest and blunt for the both of them.

 

“Once or twice.”

 

Sana lifts her head up, the sheet falling just a little too low to cover everything. “With me?”

 

“You wish,” Dahyun answers while adjusting the sheets for Sana, laying back down and turning away from Sana, too sleepy to care.

 

They lie like that for a moment, until the silence becomes too much and Dahyun just wants to know the answer to why they continue to do this.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Dahyun hears Sana mumble a sure. “Why do you do this with me?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Sana hums to herself, thinking of a good response.

 

“You're the only constant in my life right now.” Dahyun hopes that she doesn't sound too in love. “Though you're definitely not good for me.”

 

Sana chuckles. “Not for the next ten years at least.”

 

Dahyun hopes her heart could relax for a minute. “Have you ever dated someone you’re in love with before?” Dahyun asks, curiosity getting the best of her. She hates this feeling.

 

Sana takes Dahyun’s hand in hers, intertwining their fingers.

 

They’re too close. Always too close. “I have you,” Sana answers, her words feeling a little too truthful. “So I don’t need to.” Then she adds, “I don't want to.”

 

Dahyun pulls Sana closer, “Don’t you dare fall in love with me then.”