It's been a week since they last talked. One week. He tries not to worry or think about it, to give him space, but at night when his eyes close he wonders if when he opens them a text will be waiting for him. It never is. Then Jiyong starts having dreams.

“Hyung”

“Yes Seungri?”

They are in bed, and Jiyong is looking out the French windows into the gloomy sky. The air feels somewhat heavy but Jiyong is in Seungri's arms so he is okay. The wind is blowing the curtains into the room, and then back out, and Jiyong knows this somehow without even looking at them. He can't take his eyes off the sky. A part of him wants to look down, see the scenery, are they at beach? at home? He wants to look at Seungri. But something about the gray of the sky is fascinating.

“I love you”

But the words don't come from Seungri or even from Jiyong. They are brought by the wind and they are just there, hovering around them.

“I love you”

The sky grows darker and the wind picks up and Jiyong looks more attentively, wanting to catch that second before the first drop of rain falls down.

“Hyung” Seungri calls again, urgently, and Jiyong wants to tell him to wait, any second now it's going to happen. Any second now. Jiyong wants to know exactly when the storm is going to start. It's important to him.

“I need to tell you something” Seungri's voice is sad and there's a weird feeling in Jiyong's chest. Suddenly the storm seems less important, but Jiyong's gaze still doesn't move. “Will you listen to me?”

Jiyong opens his mouth to tell him to please wait but instead it's something else that comes out.  

“I love you” and this time it's not the wind but Jiyong who says the words.

The first drop falls from the sky.

~

Sometimes when he is around Seungri Jiyong lets himself look at his maknae and he feels like growing wings and going flying, just so he'd know which of the two feels better. Probably flying, he thinks, flying can't possibly hurt this much.

~

Another week goes by and it rains a lot. So Jiyong falls asleep at night to the sound of the drops hitting the roof. And he loves that noise, but it reminds him of music and right now music hurts. Some nights his dreams hurt even more.

“Hyung I'm cold”

And Seungri gets in bed with him, and he rubs his cold toes against Jiyong’s legs. Jiyong would care, but Seungri smells good, so Jiyong just puts the covers over the both of them and he rolls, effectively enveloping them in warmth.

“Oh I really like it when it's just you, me, Tom and Laura” Seungri says and his lips brush Jiyong's skin as he speaks, and Jiyong shivers.

And then Seungri's hands start wandering and he starts discovering Jiyong's body.

“Do you think we should be doing this?” Seungri asks

“Yes” Jiyong says in the dream.

When he wakes up in the middle of the night he wishes that had been his answer in real life.

He sighs and turns on the lamp on his bedside table and for a second he can't believe his eyes. For a second he wonders if he's still dreaming. He's not alone in bed, someone is next to him. Someone he's been longing to see.

A thousand emotions go through him and none of them are a hundred percent happy - somehow there's always a bit of sadness mixed in it when it comes to Seungri - but the predominant one is tenderness.

Seungri is curled up at the very edge of the bed, as if not wanting to disturb Jiyong.

You silly maknae.

His hair is a bit on the long side and it's covering part of his eyes, his cheeks look full, he looks peaceful, beautiful. Jiyong has missed him. So much. And now he's here, in his bed.

He stares at him longer, and he realizes he's not cold anymore, but he hadn't even realized he was cold in the first place. Then he smiles and brushes his fingers against Seungri's forehead.

“I know you're awake” he says

Seungri tries to fight it but a smile forms on his lips and he opens one eye to look at Jiyong.

“How? I thought I'd done a pretty good job at pretending to be asleep”

Your mouth , Jiyong wants to tell him, your mouth was closed and when you sleep you always open your mouth, but he doesn't.

So he just smiles and he lets his hand linger for a few seconds on Seungri's cheek.

“When did you get here?”

“Like an hour ago. You looked too peaceful sleeping so I didn't want to wake you up” he murmurs

His eyes look soft as he says the words and Jiyong's heart skips a beat.  

Don't look at me like that.

Seungri grabs Jiyong's hand in his and he starts playing with Jiyong's fingers.

The older boy stares at their hands, and he wants to tell Seungri he's been having dreams, but he doesn't.

“I've been busy with work lately hyung”

There's something in Seungri's voice that makes Jiyong look up, and he's met with an honest and open look on Seungri's face.

“Really busy so at first I didn't even have time to contact anyone. But this past week I was a bit more free. But then one night I remembered what you once asked me, “Seungri is the world ending?” And it made me think a lot. It made me sad. I needed some time”

And Jiyong wants to apologise, because it's in his nature to overthink things and even be a bit dramatic, but he doesn't want that to affect Seungri.

“I know you guys warn me a lot about all the people I know, that I should be careful and maybe you're right, I don't really know who I can trust. But I swear I'm doing my best and trying to be careful”

“Seungri” Jiyong squeezes his hand “I love that you haven't lost your innocence. We've both had bad experiences and mine have made me be more reserved but you are still the same. You love to make people happy, you still believe in people”

And Jiyong knows his emotions are showing clearly on his face and he wants Seungri to know how proud he is.

“I do tease you about your friends and I want you to be careful, but I trust you. And I guess most of the time I'm just being needy. I'm sorry. I just- I just love you maknae”

And Seungri looks at him and once more Jiyong thinks Seungri is beautiful, especially when his eyes are showing the emotions he's feeling.

“No, hyung, don't apologize. I love you too. You know that.”

Jiyong can tell by the blush on Seungri's cheek that it's not easy for him to say those words. But God, it feels so good to hear them.

“This past week I thought a lot about the things I don't want to lose, about what's important to me. And you guys are the most important thing”

And suddenly Seungri's eyes look glassy and it's as if someone reached inside Jiyong and squeezed his heart.

“Ah maknae” and Jiyong takes him in his arms and holds him tightly, wanting to take the pain away.

He doesn't know what happened to make Seungri feel like this, maybe nothing happened and everyone just has moments like these. Whatever it is Jiyong is glad Seungri came to him because he hates the thought of Seungri being alone feeling vulnerable.

“It's okay Seungri, it's going to be okay” Jiyong says as he rubs his back

Seungri sighs against his chest and speaks against his skin.

“I've missed you hyung. I'm lonely without you”

And those words hurt but they also make Jiyong's heart feel full.

“I guess I also have needy clingy moments huh?” Seungri says jokingly 

“It happens to the best of us”

Seungri looks up at Jiyong and gratitude and love are showing in his eyes. His lips look soft. Without thinking about it Jiyong brings their mouths together. As their lips brush softly against each other, there are words Jiyong wants to say, but he just sighs against Seungri's lips, and then he kisses him softly once again. It's an innocent kiss and it doesn't last long, but it's enough to soothe their hearts.

They don't talk about the kiss, just like they never talk about the other tender kisses they have shared throughout the years. But they are moments Jiyong cherishes.

He keeps them locked away in a tiny box inside his heart, and every time he looks at Seungri they demand to be freed.

“You are my favorite, Seungri” Jiyong whispers as if it's a secret and Seungri smiles, and Jiyong knows he's reminded of the early days.

After the way Jiyong had treated Seungri in the beginning Jiyong would say it quite often to him.

“And you're my favorite, hyung”  Seungri replies and that's the way they told each other they loved each other, even before they realized they were in love.