Chan loves his girlfriend. He really does. But lately she’s been getting on his nerves. One moment she’d be lovey-dovey to him, and the next she’ll be acting cold and distant.

“Jiyoung, do you know where I left my phone?” Chan called out from the bedroom. No answer. “Jiyoung?” More silence. “Babe?” He made his way to the living room where he knew she was sitting; her silence worrying him. He found her curled up in a ball on the couch, her eyes focused on the TV screen playing some kind of drama. “Babe, did you hear me?” Jiyoung looked up at him and gave a grunt of acknowledgment. “Do you know where I left my phone?” He tried again. “No, and I really don’t care.” She muttered before turning her focus back to the TV. Chan sighed deeply. This was getting out of hand. “Did I do something to upset you?” He made his way to sit on the floor near her head so he can be eye level with her. She tucked her head under her arm. “Talk to me. Don’t shut me out.” He tried again. “….”

Chan felt so lost and hopeless. Was he losing her? Did he do something and he’s an for not knowing what he did? All of these questions were whirling around in his head. He reached up behind Jiyoung, to the back of the couch where they keep a blanket. They call it their cuddling blanket since usually they use it when they’re cuddled up on the couch together to watch movies as a sort of date night. It was their favorite thing to do. The thought of this sent a pang through his heart. What if she didn’t want him anymore? Undoing the folds of the blanket, he gently laid it on top of her, hoping it was a small enough comfort to her. It must’ve worked because she poked her head out once more to look at him. He felt his heart skip a beat. She really was gorgeous, and every day he was grateful to have her in his life. She brought out the best in him in ways he could never imagine.

“I love you” Chan whispered softly, tucking a strand of Jiyoung’s hair behind her ear gently. Finally, she smiled at him. “I love you too.” They both took a moment to bask in each other’s presence. “I’m sorry I’m being horrible to you lately. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Jiyoung admitted quietly. “I didn’t mean to shut you out. Last I saw your phone was when you were talking to Jisung. After that, you went into your recording studio.” Chan smiled at her tenderly. “My phone isn’t important right now. I’m just worried about you. What can I do for you?” Jiyoung thought about it for a moment. “Don’t you need to leave soon?” Chan shook his head. “Not when you need me.” Jiyoung laughed. “I don’t think the company would like that very much.” Chan smiled widely, showing off his dimples. “It’s a good thing the company doesn’t need me today. I was only going to lend a hand to Changbin and Jisung on a new song, but they can manage without me. Plus, I’d much rather have your company.” Jiyoung opened her arms in an invitation.

“Then cuddle with me.” Chan smiled mischievously. “Just cuddles?” Jiyoung picked up on his suggestive tone. “Oh? What else do you have in mind, Mr. Bang?” Chan moved forward and enveloped her in a deep kiss. After a few moments, they both pulled away breathless. “I’m thinking of something much more….active.” Jiyoung snorted. “You’re going to kill the mood if you keep talking like that.”

Chan playfully gave her an offended look. “Excuse you, my sweet talking is y. It’s my Australian iness.” They both burst into laughter. “Okay, Mr. Australian iness.” Jiyoung said through her laughter. Chan raised an eyebrow. “Okay, what?” “Okay, you can do what you had in mind.” He smirked. “And what exactly is that?” Jiyoung returned the look. “You and I both know what you want. Don’t make me say it. It’ll kill the mood.”

Chan shook his head. “I’m not moving until you ask for it. Consent is important.” Jiyoung huffed. “Christopher Bang!”
“Yes?” Chan slowly started feeling his way up Jiyoung’s leg. Something he knew for a fact got her riled up without fail. He noticed her eyes flutter shut for a moment before she opened them again to level him with a glare. “Shut up and take me to the bedroom already.” Chan gave his best y smirk. “Gladly.”

ONE WEEK LATER

“I don’t understand why you keep pushing me away!” Chan finally snapped and raised his voice at Jiyoung. They had been doing fine lately but today, Jiyoung really hit a nerve and tipped Chan to his breaking point.

They had been at the recording studio with the members. Jiyoung was sitting in one of the padded chairs, zoning in and out of the conversation. Chan had finished his recordings and was seated next to Jisung at the producer’s table when the conversation behind them turned to discussing the foreign members’ home countries. Jiyoung herself is also a “foreigner” as she had lived in the states for almost half of her life before her family moved back to Seoul. Minho asked her if she would want to visit the states again when Jiyoung suddenly turned cold.

“I should just move back there permanently.” Minho thought that she had been joking. “And leave Chan hyung behind?” He asked. This time her answer made clear to everyone in the room that she wasn’t joking at all. “Why would I take him with me in the first place?” she said coldly before standing up hurriedly and leaving the studio. Chan had heard the entire conversation, and turned around in his chair just as she slammed the door behind her. He felt the anger bubbling up in his throat, but knew he had to remain calm and composed for everyone’s sake, including his own.

The members looked at him awkwardly. “Hyung, are you two okay?” Felix braved the tension filled room. Chan sighed deeply and got up to collect his things, albeit a little too roughly. “I don’t know the answer to that. I’m going to go take her home, I’ll be back later.” He said curtly. Changbin stood up and moved closer to Chan. “Hyung, don’t come back. Stay there with her. Whatever is happening between you two needs to be talked out and you can’t do that if you’re here. I can take over for you.” The members all nodded their agreements. Chan sighed again. “Okay. Thank you.”

When they got home, Chan had broken the silence and finally asked Jiyoung what was wrong. “Nothing” was all the answer she gave. His already bubbling anger had finally gotten to him. “Stop saying ‘nothing’ because clearly something is going on with you.” He was trying so hard to not raise his voice, but it was proving to be difficult.

“Do you hate me?” Jiyoung shook her head. “Are you sure? Because you’ve been acting like it for a few weeks now, Jiyoung! I can’t do this anymore.” He said exasperatedly. “Then don’t! I don’t want to talk about this.” Jiyoung shook her head roughly and started to turn toward the bedroom, fully intending to just sleep and ignore Chan the rest of the evening. However, Chan wasn’t about to let it go. “We need to talk about it! Not later; right now. Why do you want to leave me so bad? Did I do something? Or do you feel like I’m trapping you here? Help me understand.” Chan pleaded.

Jiyoung turned back around and took a few more steps toward the other. “It’s nothing like that, Chris.” Jiyoung rarely used Chan’s English name- only when she was being playful or really serious. In extreme moments, if she was hurting. Right now, he couldn’t tell which, but he knew he hurt his heart to hear it. “Then TELL me what this is! I don’t understand why you keep pushing me away! All I have done lately is somehow piss you off and I don’t even know what I did! Be honest!” Chan finally let his control break.

“I don’t…I can’t…” Jiyoung struggled to form a sentence, her own control breaking apart. “That’s it? After three and a half years of dating and you can’t just come out with it?” Chan’s voice broke, catching Jiyoung’s full attention. It was then that she realized how much pain she had been putting Chan through. All because she couldn’t be brave enough to tell him the truth; because she couldn’t find the right words, or the right time. Because she couldn’t even wrap her head around her own emotions.

“Don’t do this. Stop. Please. All I’m asking is for your honesty.” Chan said, his voice cracking through every word now that his tears were flowing freely. At the sight of her broken boyfriend, Jiyoung felt herself finally give in and start crying. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I screwed up, Chan. I screwed up so badly and now I’ve ruined everything.” Jiyoung sobbed. Chan couldn’t help but think the worst. “What- did-did you cheat on me or something?” Jiyoung scoffed. “God, no! Chan….Chris...I..I’m pregnant.”

Everything stood still. Chan felt his heart drop for a moment before it came back up to rise in his throat. “What?” he asked in pure shock. Jiyoung took a deep breath before answering. “I’m pregnant. Eight weeks. I found out four days ago.” Chan’s tears started flowing harder. “Pregnant? Are you…You’re sure? 100 percent?” he ran his hands through his hair. Jiyoung nodded. “Yes. I went to the doctor thinking something else was wrong. They did a blood test. I’m 100 percent sure.”

Chan crossed the room to envelop her in a hug. “I thought I was losing you. Turns out I was gaining a second you.” Jiyoung broke down and hugged onto Chan even harder. “But I ruined everything. I screwed up, Chris!” Chan put a hand on the back of her head. “What are you talking about?” “I ruined your career, the company is going to be furious and probably break us up, they might kick you out of Stray Kids, all because I screwed up and got pregnant on accident.” Chan let out a soft chuckle. “Babe, you did nothing wrong. If anything, it’s my entire fault because I got you pregnant to begin with. I see this as a blessing. As for my career, I’m sure they’ll be angry, but I don’t think they’d kick me out. Who else will write our songs?” Jiyoung laughed, finally calming down. “I love you, Chan.” “I love you too, Jiyoung.”